"DAMMIT, PEOPLE!"

A fist slams on a desk. The fist belongs to Lauren Faust, main developer of MLP: FIM. Her and a team of a few animators, writers, and producers are sitting at the desk, trying to discuss their fanbase, which escalated very quickly in the past few months. "There's too much bronies out there!" Lauren exclaims. "What's wrong with that?" Meghan McCarthy, a writer/producer says. "We love our fans!" Stephen Davis, another producer, defends. "I'm not saying you should hate them. The amount of bronies at our last convention was approximately 2,000,000! Let's lower that!" "But--"

Just then, the Overused Meme Destroyer Ninja, a hitman bent on eliminating all the people who are obsessed with overused memes, barges into the office. All he wears is robe with a mask, a mouth scarf-guard, and shorts. "Alright, you guys are bronies. I have no choice." The Ninja raises his trusty machete until Lauren stops him. "Um, we're not bronies,exactly. We're the main developers for the show." "And why else should I not kill you right now?" "We're also trying to lower the amount of bronies out there."

The Ninja has a shocked look on his face. "Lower?! I want every one of them gone!" "No, no, no, I don't want all of our fans gone, I just wanna lower the amount." "Ok. Have it your way. But count me in." "Good, we'll also need some backup." "Ok, I'll call my sidekick, you call some of Hasbro." "Who's your sidekick?" The Ninja then pulls out a radio from a pocket in his robe. "Call in the Queen," he says with a dark voice. Thirty seconds later, she arrives, but accidentally bursts the door down. "I can fix that later." Everyone looks at the Overused Meme Destroyer Queen shocked. Her outfit consists of only red-colored lingerie, a mouth mask-guard and a floating crown above her head, and she carries along with her a staff with an attachable blade hidden in a holster strapped to her back. "Whaddya want from us?"

"We want you to help us and some executives from Hasbro lower the amount of bronies out there," Lauren explains. "How many?" the Queen asks. "1,000,000." "WHAT?!!" she and the Ninja both yell. "Well, you guys are hitmen, so don't 'what' me!" "2,000,000 went to BronyCon." the Ninja tells the Queen. "Oh, by the way," McCarthy interrupts, "Can we address you by your real names? The Ninja and Queen ones are kinda long to say." "We're not supposed to give you our names, but just this once," the Ninja says. "The name's Marcus." "Andrea," the Queen introduces herself. "OK, so, what happens? We just go on a state-wide chase?" Marcus (The Ninja) asks. "No, that'd be too long. We have a teleported that transports us into our own cartoon in case something bad happens." Daniel Ingram, the show's songwriter, explains. "Thats illogical." "But it's true, we haven't used this baby for months." He then unravels a scarf, exposing the machine.

The 2 OMDs were shocked at what they saw. Davis says to them, "We stole the blueprints from Patrick Stewart!" He cracks up for a few seconds. Marcus then asks, "Could me and Andrea give this a trial run while you wait for the Hasbro executives?" Ingram talks with Lauren. "I suppose we could see if it's working." "Let's do it." Lauren tells him. Jayson Thiessen, a director for the show, walks in late, and checks in with Lauren. "Hey, sorry I'm late, I--"

He shockingly looks at the teleporter. "What the hell..." Lauren asks, "Everything OK?" "Why do you have THAT out?" Thiessen says with the continued shocked expression. "I'll explain everything later." A few minutes later, twelve men in tuxedos enter the room. They were the key people who work for Hasbro. "You needed us?" Lauren walks up to the CEO, Brian Goldner. "Nice to meet you, sir." She shakes his hand. "What is that giant thing?" Goldner asks about the teleporter. She whispers everything into his ear. "Oh. We understand completely." Thiessen calls Lauren's name. "I got the background loaded!" "Good! Now go into that other program and click the button that says 'TELEPORT!'" He does so. Marcus and Andrea (The Queen) then teleport, as they feel their atoms breaking apart.

As humans, the two arrive in a cartoony universe, which was inevitably Ponyville. Marcus and Andrea walk around, until they spot two figures and a cardboard box.

--Cited from "Equestria, Ho!" by Musleblast--

--"This world is inhabited by... PONIES?" Calvin shouted. "What is this? This is the kind of world Susie Derkins would go to!" "Well, what do we do?" Hobbes asked. Calvin rubbed his chin as he pondered that. He lit up as an idea formed in his head.

"I have an idea." The cardboard box, now upside-down, made a brilliant flash of light as it finished the process. Scribbled on the side of the box was "Transmogrifier", and a dial next to it was set to "Pony". Hobbes lifted up the box, revealing a young colt. Calvin's fur was as red as his striped t-shirt, and was an odd sensation to have hair covering his whole body. His yellow mane was spiked at the top like it usually was, but it ran down the back of his neck much like that of a horse.--

Marcus and Andrea walk up to the Calvin and Hobbes. "Whoa, there. We need to borrow this machine." "Whaddya want with it?" Marcus takes out his machete to threaten him. "OK, fine!" he says, frightened. him and his tiger Hobbes walk away to explore the town. Two minutes later, all of the crew for the show and the Hasbro Executives, remaining human, fully teleport into Ponyville, too. "What is this place?" Brian Goldner, the CEO of Hasbro asks. "This was our own creation," Jayson Thiessen explains. Marcus starts to wave to the crew. Everyone walks over to them and the cardboard box. "What the hell is this?" Daniel Ingram asks them. "Somehow a kid and his tiger used this thing for possible transformation," Marcus tells them. "Well, we can't all fit into that small-ass box!" Goldner yells at them. Andrea looks around the box. "Oh, I found a button that says, "Press for Mega mode."

Marcus goes over to where Andrea is and presses the button. "Stand back," he warns everyone. The machine then transforms into this giant spherical chamber with controls on the side. He sets the dial to "various ponies" in disgust. "Why are we doing this again?" Andrea asks. "Sometimes, in order to annihilate the enemy, you must become the enemy," Marcus says to her. "Did you learn that 'cause you're a ninja?" "No, it's in the OMD charter handbook. Rule XX Section IV." "Oh." Marcus then opens the machine. "Everybody in." He sets a delay timer on the door and the transformation so he could hop in, as he closes the door, activating the timer. Marcus hops in in time, as everyone crampingly is inside the machine. Electric bolts fly all over the place. Everyone could feel their DNA rearranging as they transform into ponies.

The door automatically opens as smoke emits and everyone coughs. Everyone's clothes have been removed in the process. "Oh, God." Lauren Faust is struggling to walk as a quadruped. The OMDs ended up as alicorns (because they're awesome), the MLP: FIM crew as unicorns and the Hasbro executives as pegasi. Marcus notices the horn on his head. "Hang on... I could stab victims with this thing." "I don't think it's used for stabbing." Andrea tells him. Everyone huddles in a circle. "Alright, so what's the plan?" Megan McCarthy asks. "Ok, first, we need to build a little shack where one of the groups will monitor how many bronies are left. The other will have to blend in and keep watch for any. Leave the assassinating up to us." Goldner chimes in. "First of all, I think we should be the one monitoring the countdown, because I'm the Hasbro CEO and I've got stuff to do. I can't just go on holiday." "Alrighty... so the MLP crew, you guys will keep watch for any bronies. Take these earpieces and radios. We start tomorrow.

Marcus (the Ninja) and Andrea (the Queen), still ponified, wake up in a library. Yep. You know where this is going.

--HOURS EARLIER--

With scrap from a local dumpster, all 18 ponified MLP animators, Hasbro executives, and OMDs finally built a shack, which they dubbed their headquarters. Marcus and Andrea were each given Google Glasses by the MLP animators, who were wearing their own pairs. "This has a GPS and a brony indicator on it," Lauren Faust said to the two. "We'll also keep an eye out for any. Remember, we're targeting 500,000." "I thought it was a million!" Marcus said. "Well, we changed it, so deal with it." The two OMDs then decide to sleep on the grass. Roaming the streets a half hour later, a mysterious pony drags them.

--

"God, what the hell happened?" Marcus asks while waking up. "Oh, so you're finally up." A mysterious voice calls from downstairs, belonging to Twilight Sparkle, or what seems to be her. She turns around when the two finally approach her. "Shit," Andrea says, "you're here to convert us into bronies, aren't you?" "No, no, no, I'm not Twilight. I'm Tara Strong. It's just we voice actors automatically get ponified when we used that teleporter." "What about Ashliegh Ball?" "She and Andrea Libman split into two personalities when teleported, but that's not the point. I also wanna help you stop this madness." "Why? Don't you love your job?" Marcus inquires. "Yeah, but I absolutely HATE it when people just lick pictures of the show on their walls, sleeping with pony dakimakuras, and even fap to pics online. I mean, straight out nasty," Tara explains. "I know that feel, bro," Andrea says. Marcus, Andrea, and Tara all hear the sound of tongue-flicking. Marcus cues everyone's voice to a whisper. "It's coming from the bathroom." They gently tiptoe over to the bathroom door, as they could hear a voice. Tara presses her ear against the door. Her face of fear turns into a face of shock and disgust. "Everything OK?" Marcus asks. "You gotta hear this." The 3 press their ear against the door and can hear the sound of typing, along with the voice. It turns out to be a brony writing a creepy lesbian fanfiction. The brony speaks the words as he types.

"'...Come on, Twilight. *tongue sloshing* Penetrate me with your horn,' says an excited Rainbow Dash, waiting to get pleasured. *more tongue sloshing* 'Sure thing, Dashie.' Twilight then begins to..." All of them remove their ears off the door. Andrea vomits in her mouth a little. "See what I mean?" Tara says. "Yep. That's our first target." Marcus says. "Wait! You're not actually going to... kill him... are you?" Tara wonders. "Nah. I give all my victims a hard slice in the back." Marcus goes over and busts in the door right when the brony finished typing the word "orgasm," and pulls out his machete. However, he cannot grip it since he has a hoof. "Shit! What do I do? He can't get away with this goddamn fan fiction!" "Use your horn!" "What?" Tara grabs the machete using magic, and impales the brony across the back, as a pile of blood splashes all over the computer. The brony is dead. "Man. Nicole's gonna be pissed," Tara says, realizing what she just did. "Who's Nicole?" Nicole Oliver, taking the form of Princess Celestia, appears behind Tara, blowing a sigh of relief. "Thank GOD," she says. "W--What?" "I always hated that brony. He actually wrote 4 fan fictions about Princess Celestia." "Gross," Marcus says in disgust. "I know. One of them was about Celestia and Luna pulling a 2G1C." Tara limps over to the bathroom, stepping over the dead brony, and vomits in the toilet. "Excuse me. That was just so nasty." "And you did a good thing, Tara. Good job." "Actually, it was this guy's machete." Tara points to Marcus, who blushes. Nicole asks him, "You in on this thing?" "Yep. You can help us." "Sure thing. I really don't want another one of those 2G1C fanfictions." Tara, still in the bathroom, vomits once more before heading out to the shack the animators and executives built.