I hold up Fluttershy by the bends of her forelegs, her hind legs dangling beneath her as she stares into my eyes with a blank expression, and kiss her on the forehead.

“We did it!” I exclaim, giddiness coursing through me. I turn to the sock drawer, to see that all of the ponies have woken up, and are staring at me like I’ve gone insane. Well, except for Pinkie Pie, who’s smiling up at me.

“We did it, everybody!” I shout, careful not to be too loud, lest I hurt their small, sensitive ears.

I kiss them all on the forehead, (except for Lyra, Vinyl Scratch, Celestia, Luna, Trixie, Rarity, and Twilight Sparkle, whom I kiss on the side of the head so as to avoid their tiny, rounded horns,) and place Fluttershy down in the sock drawer.

And I (somehow) manage to rope them all into a giant hug.

“You’re going to be citizens!” I coo to them, smiling wide. I chuckle at my luck, and a few of the ponies burst out in boisterous laughter.

Rubbing my nose against Celestia’s, the alicorn’s tiny wings extended behind her, I realize just how lucky I’ve been.

For starters, I found boxes of ponies.

Then, I have a friend that can completely control his slice of the economy, and help me supply for my children.

Last, I’m going to be able to legally keep the ponies as children, and maybe even send them to school.

This is, by far, the best day of my life.

I get my cell phone out of my pocket, and call Chuckles, cursing the day they abandoned speed dial in smart phones.

“Peter? What happened? What’d you do?”

“Agent Brown is going to –”

“Really? The FBI actually came?”

“Yeah. And he’s going to make them citizens, and me their father!”

“That’s great! By the way, I’m eating some breakfast right now, so it’ll take me a while to get to the house.”

“Okay. I’m going to go play with my children.”

I hang up without waiting for a response, and begin to poke ach of the ponies in turn. Each of them giggles, and Rainbow Dash, (who I poke last,) pokes my finger back, and we commence in a furious poking battle, the cyan Pegasus foiling all of my attempts to poke her tummy. Rainbow Dash giggles and shrieks in laughter as I over exaggerate the effects of her pokes on my fingers, and my entire body in general, convulsing in odd and funny ways each time my finger meets her hoof.

Needless to say, Rainbow Poke wins.

As I recover from Rainbow Poke’s debilitating double poke, Pinkie Pie unexpectedly hops up onto my shoulder from the inner sanctum of the sock drawer. Smiling, Rainbow Dash follows suit, barely managing to get over the edge of the drawer with her tiny wings.

I don’t react fast enough for what happens next.

Pinkie Pie jumps off of my shoulder, onto the floor, and out of the room. Rainbow Dash bolts after her, her mane flowing behind her.

“Wait!” I shout in vain, falling flat on my face as I struggle to stand from my small crevice between the bed and the sock drawer.

I immediately feel a weight on my back, and I strain my neck to look over my shoulder. Celestia, Luna, and Twilight are hovering just a bit above my back, their horns glowing as they levitate. As they leave the room, I simply guffaw in amazement as they round the corner.

Magic...Holy shit.

Next, a plethora of ponies jump on my back, making it impossible for me to stand without potentially harming one of them. They know this, and leave one (and sometimes two or three) at a time, so as to secure their overall freedom.

First, Trixie jumps off, and sticks her tiny tongue out at me as she runs out of the room. I can’t help but smile.

Then, Applejack jumps off, and patiently waits for Big Mac, sitting just outside of my reach. As soon as Big Mac lands next to his sister, they leave, giggles falling behind in their wake.

Next, is Octavia, who simply stares up at my back from out of my range. I know she won’t leave without Vinyl Scratch and Lyra by her side, seeing as how she won’t so much as sleep without them, so I take the moment as an advantage to drag myself forwards in a slow crawl. The ponies on my back begin to giggle and clap, as if enjoying the ride and even Octavia seems to enjoy it, despite not being on my back. However, when I reach for her, the tide changes, and the ponies quickly realize that I’m trying to get them back into the sock drawer.

So, to foil my attempts, Vinyl Scratch and Lyra both jump onto my head, thrusting it into the carpet. I know they’ve landed on the carpet when I hear their hooves thud on the floor. As I raise my head, I see the three of them giggling as they run out of the room.

Next, is Derpy Hooves. The grey filly makes a wobbly landing, but manages to gain her balance. I simply let my shoulders go slack, and accept the fact that I won’t be able to do anything until the ponies on my back all escape. However, when the grey filly, in an attempt to leave the room, smacks right into the door post, I almost stand and throw all the ponies off of my back.

Luckily, all I do is shout “Derpy!” in distress, and thrust my arm out, anticipating the tears from pain. However, they don’t come, and Derpy Hooves immediately revives from her slumped position on the wall, smiles at me, and wobbles out of the room.

I know it seems cute, but it worries me. Her inability to see straight, plus her inability to control one of her eyes, may prove to be fatal one day, if she’s disoriented while walking into traffic to cross the street, or anything, really.

I push the thoughts out of my mind for the time being. I have a lot of time to worry about that, as Rarity has just jumped off of my back. I don’t feel any more ponies weighing down my back, but when I tear my eyes from the white unicorn, who is elegantly striding/toddling out of the room, I look back over my shoulder, and see Fluttershy.

The yellow Pegasus is perched precariously on the edge of the sock drawer. One of her forelegs is reaching out for my back, and she’s visibly trembling. With a small squeak of utter terror, she shrinks back into the drawer.

I turn over onto my back, (with some difficulty,) and sit up, looking down at Fluttershy. The yellow Pegasus is sitting in the center of the drawer, alone. She looks around, nervous and lonely, but then looks up at me, and the small smile on my face. The yellow filly smiles back, and I reach in to pick her up. As I do, I take a handful of socks with me, for Derpy. I stand, and can tell that she feels comfortable in my arms.

You know what...Maybe a bit of exploring will be healthy for the ponies. Especially Fluttershy.

I look down at the yellow Pegasus, and smile. “Hiya, baby. Hiya,” I coo to her as she lies back in my arms. “Be brave, okay?”

I turn, and walk out of the room.

At first, Fluttershy is absolutely terrified. I’ve taken her out of her comfort zone, and I can tell that she doesn’t want to leave it, whatsoever. How can I tell?

Her forelegs are stretching out towards my sock drawer, and a whimper is building up.

“Fluttershy,” I whisper to her. “Fluttershy, don’t be afraid. I’m here.”

I cradle her close to my heart, and divert her attention from the sock drawer.

“I’m here. Daddy’s here, Fluttershy. I’m not going to let anything happen to you, okay?”

She nods, and I kiss her on the forehead. “And so Is your family, Fluttershy. We’re all here. We’ll all protect you.”

Fluttershy nods again, and presses her forelegs around my torso, or, rather, what she can reach of my torso, in a tiny, adorable hug. I smile, and slowly walk down the hallway, and into my small living room.

As soon as I do, the ponies there stop exploring and stare at me, and the yellow Pegasus in my arms. I carefully place Fluttershy down, and she looks up at me in confusion.

“Go on,” I whisper to her. “Go on, your sisters, and brother, are here. And I am, too.”

The yellow Pegasus, rather than mingling, immediately hugs close to my foot.

“Go on, Fluttershy,” I whisper. “Go on, play with your sisters. And brother. We’ll keep you safe, don’t worry.”

The yellow Pegasus simply looks up at me, an expression on her face that seems to say “why, daddy? Why are you leaving me here?”

As I attempt to comfort the yellow Pegasus, Rainbow Dash toddles over, and presses a hoof to her sisters’ side. Fluttershy starts, but turns to see Rainbow Dash, smiling down at her.

And that’s when she sees the rest of the room.

The old, bulky television set, the painting on the wall that the couch is pressed up against, the coffee table between the television and the couch, and the kitchen built into the tiny living room are all too much for her. Fluttershy immediately runs behind me, and stays there, quivering.

Rainbow Dash follows the yellow Pegasus, and it’s then that I fully gauge how small they all are. Both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, when on all fours, barely come up past my ankles. In fact they’re about the size of kittens, only somewhat larger.

Despite Rainbow Dash tugging on Fluttershy, and hugging her in an attempt to comfort the timid filly, Fluttershy refuses to budge. Finally, after a few moments, the cyan Pegasus gives up, and returns to her other siblings in the living room.

Smiling, I turn and bend down, bringing Fluttershy up with me as I stand. Walking over to my wooden coffee table, I fetch the gate from under it, and prop it up in the small gap that acts as the entry to the living room.

Why do I have this gate?

For when I would hold my sister’s chinchilla, when she went on vacation, or had to go on a business trip for Maybling. However, as I mentioned before, stage four cancer took its course, and she is no longer with us. Her chinchilla quickly passed away, as well, as the little critter’s reliance on my sister was something to behold.

Anyway, after I place the gate down, to ensure that none of the ponies can escape my small living room, I walk over to the kitchen, and pull shut the accordion membrane. It’s mostly meant to give the living room a more homely feel, what with the absence of a kitchen right there. However, the door to the bathroom is in that same kitchen, so it’s kind of pointless, if not hampering. But, in this case, when I can keep my little ponies out of the deathtrap that I call a kitchen with it, the membrane definitely serves a wonderful purpose.

So, after I mediocrely baby-proof my living room, I sit down on my couch, and watch the curious little ponies toddle around. I silently thank God that the morons who designed this house decided to put the outlets about two feet up in the walls, as they’re way out of the reach of my ponies.

Cradling Fluttershy, I lean back on my couch, and watch the ponies toddle around, aimlessly and somewhat lazily.

After a while I feel something land on my foot. I look down to see that Pinkie Pie has chosen to use the worn-out materials making up my sneaker as her makeshift bed for a nap. I raise my eyebrow in surprise. Pinkie Pie? Taking a nap? Well, well, well, it seems as though we have a rather lazy party animal on our hands!

I look around, curious as to what the ponies could possibly be up to.

First and foremost, Derpy Hooves is wistfully staring up at the socks in my hands. I smile at the grey filly, and let her have one of the socks. She gratefully accepts, and begins to chew it with her tiny teeth, lying down next to my shoe.

Looking around, I spot Rainbow Dash, poking everything she sees. If she sees the wall, she pokes the wall. If she sees Twilight, she pokes her.

If she sees the napping pony on my sneaker, she pokes her, and receives a bubbly poke back.

“Hi there, Rainbow Poke,” I coo to her, even as Pinkie Pie stands, and, on some unspoken agreement, immediately starts chasing the cyan Pegasus in a game of tag. More often than not, Pinkie Pie is “it”, and when she is, she cheerfully bounces around, catching the cyan Pegasus whenever she can, which is not very often. Whenever Rainbow Dash is it, she pouts, bolts for Pinkie Pie, and pokes the pink pony, before running away, victorious.

I chuckle, and look over to Applejack and Big Mac. The both of them are watching Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie in curiosity and confusion.

A few inches away from Applejack and Big Mac, Lyra, Vinyl Scratch, and Octavia are watching Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie as well. Vinyl Scratch has the edge of her hoof in her mouth, and Lyra is repeatedly getting up, and sitting back down, looking between Octavia and Vinyl Scratch, as if unsure of whether she wants to go play tag with the cyan and pink ponies. Octavia is simply raising her eyebrows at the giggling, competitive duo in the center of the room.

Rarity is sitting next to Octavia, and is watching the game of tag progress with distaste, and scrunches her nose in derision as Pinkie Pie hops onto the coffee table, and tackles an unsuspecting Rainbow Dash, (to which I almost stand, but relax when I see that the both of them are unhurt,) tagging the Pegasus as “it”. However, I’ve been watching them as well, and I’m pretty sure that Rainbow Dash had just been “it”. Short after, Rainbow Dash blasts past Rarity, and knocks her over. The white unicorn instantly sits up, tosses her curly, purple mane, and pouts, as if to say “aren’t you going to stop them?”

Suddenly, a small pulse of light catches my attention. I look under the coffee table, to see that Twilight, Celestia, and Luna are seated in a triangle, and are staring at each other’s horns as they glow in turn, making an undoubtedly interesting light show under the table.

I release a small *humph* of interest, and search for Trixie.

The blue unicorn is under the coffee table, as well, but, rather than joining in, she’s longingly staring at the trio before her. Trixie seems to sense that I’m watching her, and she looks back at me, her eyes full of loneliness.

Smiling sadly, I gesture for Trixie to come over. “C’mon, Trixie,” I coo. Amazingly, the unicorn responds to her name, and walks over.

A rainbow blur interrupts her walk, however, and she falls back on her flank. After a few moments of shaking her head in confusion, the blue unicorn gets up and continues her trek over to me.

As soon as she reaches the couch, she sits down, and looks up at me, frowning.

Only this time, it’s not in disapproval, but rather in loneliness, and a longing to be loved.

I settle Fluttershy, (who has fallen asleep in my arms,) down next to me, and lean down to pick up Trixie. The blue unicorn smiles at me, and I kiss her on the side of the head, and begin to stroke her white mane, comfortingly and lovingly.

“I love you, Trixie,” I coo to her. “And so do your sisters.” In response, the unicorn smiles up at me, love and innocence in her eyes.

I lean back on the couch, smiling as both Trixie and Fluttershy snuggle up against me, (the former in my arms and against my chest, the latter on the couch and against my leg,) and let my eyes close for a few minutes as I gently rock Trixie back and forth in my arms.