I yawn, and adjust my seating on the hard floor. I let my hand droop into the play pen, (which only holds a few of the ponies,) and smile at Twilight, who’s sitting on Charles’ lap, next to me.

“Yes, you are a smart little pony!” He coos to her. “Yes, you are!”

“Yep!” She pips in return. I chuckle lightly, and scratch Trixie behind the ear, the blue unicorn sighing contentedly in my lap.

“I love you, ‘Trix,” I whisper to her, kissing her on the side of the head. She rubs her head against my chin, and smiles up at me. I yawn into my shoulder once again, as the day is finally catching up to me...

“I can’t believe this,” I mutter. Charles looks up from Twilight for a second to throw me a questioning glance. “What do you mean, you don’t believe this?”

“I mean...The ponies, the new house, the FBI working with us, when technically I thought it would be the CIA, but, okay, and just today in general...It’s all so...”

“Fast?” Charles suggests. I nod in return, and smile as Fluttershy decides my hand is an excellent place to take a nap.

I look around at the room, and smile despite myself.

The orderly, stacked boxes have been opened, and there are socks everywhere. Rainbow Dash has one on her tail as she darts around, Derpy is throwing them around and chewing on a select few, Big Mac and Applejack are sleeping in the supplied crib with a sock around them, (the sock was wrapped around them when I picked them up, and I didn’t want to wake them up, so, yeah.) Vinyl Scratch, Octavia, and Lyra are all asleep in the supplied crib as well, and so is Rarity. Pinkie Pie is happily bouncing around with no rhyme or reason, and Celestia and Luna are both atop a small mountain of socks, which I had just poured onto the floor. They’re ensuring that only a certain amount of socks are taken out of the pile at a time, and it gives them something to do. And, it proves that they can count. And clean up after others, and themselves.

And that they’re overall geniuses.

I look up to the sleek countertop, where there are fourteen bottles, each with a label on it to designate which pony uses it. Thirteen of them have been recently used, which I know since I just finished feeding the ponies, but one of them hasn’t. I gave Twilight hay for the first time.

It was rather funny, really. Giving Twilight the hay, that is. She kept pushing it all away, even though she had only had milk once. I had assumed that weaning would be easy under such conditions, but I was wrong. She ended up almost on the verge of tears, and had opened her mouth wide to cry. As soon as she had, I put the hay on her tongue. At first, she pulled back, but she immediately came back for more, and happily chewed the hay I gave her.

Now, she’s giggling in delight as Charles lifts her up over his head, and holds her there for a little while.

I look over to the diapers on the floor by my side. I just changed every one of the ponies, consecutively, and we somehow managed to dispose of the used diapers. Agent Tratno just took the bag out, and dumped it in some local dumpster. Not exactly eco-friendly, but necessary.

And, at last, I look over to the television set, up against the mahogany wall. Dear God, this trailer rocks. My PS3 is hooked up to it, and so is my old VCR. I have a few nostalgic movies and T.V. shows from my childhood set aside for the ponies, so I’m pretty much set. And, even though I’m not a nineties kid, I think it’s about time I admit something kind of embarrassing.

In nineteen ninety eight, when I was about fifteen years old, I helped with a lot of babysitting. The kids I had to sit were about a year or so old, and were constantly watching television.

And, here’s the embarrassing bit.

I’m pretty sure I enjoyed the kid’s shows more than they did. Despite being fifteen.

Which only serves to prove what Charles had said: I’m really just a child at heart. Always have been, always will be.

Oh, but I hated the “Telletubbies”. Just pointing that out.

But I freakin’ loved “Oobi”. That show was the SHIT. I mean, they just put together a few hand puppets and made it entertaining! And that theme song will stay with me forever.

“Oobi’s...My name...” I coo to Trixie, without even realizing what I’m doing. “Oobi’s...My name!”

“Peter, what in the hell are you doing?” Charles asks, fighting hard to hold back a fit of laughter.

“Just singing to Trixie,” I immediately cover up, blushing lightly.

“Was that the Oobi themesong?” He asks.

“Yes,” I sigh. “Yes, it’s the Oobi themesong...”

Charles starts cracking up, and Twilight giggles along. “Twilight, your father’s a little man-child!” He coos to her. She immediately stops laughing, and frowns at him. “No,” she states. Charles raises an eyebrow, and looks over at me as I grin victoriously. “Looks like I win, Charles.”

He grunts, and returns to playing with Twilight. “He vins, Twilight von Sparkledon. He vins...Zis time.” Twilight giggles lightly, and I smile at the two.

I look down at Trixie and Fluttershy, and decide it’s time for them to be in the crib. I stand, carefully balancing Fluttershy in one hand and Trixie in the other, before I bring them together and cradle them in my arms. I slowly and carefully make my way over to the crib, avoiding Rainbow Dash as she trots by. I place both the little ponies down in the crib, side by side, and turn to see that, to my surprise, Derpy has fallen asleep, sock still in her mouth as she snores lightly. I smile, and gently pick her up, and place her down in the crib.

“Hey, could you put Twilight in there, too?” Charles pipes up. I nod, and take the sleeping unicorn from his arms. “Thanks,” he whispers as I place Twilight down in the crib, as well.

I look around, at the sleek glass tabletop in the center of the room, by the playpen; the chromed refrigerator in the corner; the small, bedside table where I have my laptop, Skyrim frozen on its screen in the pause menu, the volume turned off; the plasma screen television that is barely a bump in the wall, it’s so damn thin; and the sleeping, blue Pegasus in the corner.

With a small smile, I pick up Rainbow Dash, and carry her over to the crib. I place her down, right by Derpy. As I draw back, Derpy Hooves somehow senses the cyan Pegasus’ presence, and immediately presses up against her, snuggling with the blue filly in her sleep. I smile, and turn, to see Pinkie Pie do at least a five foot jump, right into my arms.

“Oh,” I whisper to the pink pony, who I’m cradling in my arms, the sock in her mouth slapping me on the chest as she tosses her head from side to side in a playful manner. “I can see that somebody wanted to be held...”

She nods, and snuggles up against me. I rock her gently, and, within a few minutes, she has (miraculously) fallen asleep. I place her down in the crib, and as soon as I remove my hands from her sides, the pink pony’s blue eyes flash open, and she reaches out for me.

With a light chuckle, I rock Pinkie Pie to sleep again.

When I place her down in the crib, and remove my hands, her eyes shoot open once more.

We repeat this process of sleeping then waking three more times, until I finally get it.

“Ohhhh,” I whisper. “You won’t sleep unless I’m holding you...”

She rolls her eyes, and nods in matter-of-factly.

“Well, let me just put Celestia and Luna in here first,” I whisper, hands on my knees as I stoop down to make eye contact with her. “Then, I’ll hold you all you want.”

I look at the time on my phone. It’s already seven, PM. I look over to Celestia and Luna, who are diligently maintaining the mountain of socks.

“Okay, you to,” I coo to them as I kneel by Mount Sockerest, “time to go to bed!”

The both of them fully understand what I say, and pout at me as I say it. Celestia paws at one of the socks with a hoof, and looks up at me with the cutest eyes I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

“No, Celestia,” I whisper, poking her on the muzzle. “All the little ponies need to go to sleep. Even you.”

Celestia sighs, and nods to me. I pick her up, and go for Luna.

My hand is immediately smacked away by a blue hoof.

“Hey!” I whisper menacingly. Luna shrinks back slightly, but keeps staring at me in indignation. “We do not hit, do you understand me?” I whisper to her. Celestia squirms in my arm, and sticks her tongue out at the blue alicorn on the mountain. “And we don’t mock,” I whisper to Celestia, equally as menacingly. She crosses her front legs, and Luna points her tongue out at her sister. “That goes for you, too, Luna,” I whisper to the alicorn. She crosses her front hooves, and sits back on the mountain in resignation.

I scoop her up, and hold her close to Celestia, and rock them both back and forth. They keep their frowns on, and their front legs crossed, simply refusing to lighten up for me.

“Fine, then,” I whisper. I put them back down on the sock mountain. “You two can sleep on that tonight.”

They immediately soften up, and poke and prod at the sock mountain that has, unfortunately, become their bed. They shoot a wistful glance at the crib, and the sleeping ponies, (except for Pinkie Pie, who’s adamantly watching on,) and finally look back to me, small frowns of guilt on their faces.

“Are you two going to cooperate?” I ask. They nod, and I pick them up with a smile, kissing them both on the muzzle. “Good,” I coo. “Time for beddy-bye,” I whisper as I begin to rock them back and forth. Their eyes remain trained on my nose, and they slowly begin to fall asleep.

As soon as they have, I carry them over to the crib, and place them down on the soft, plush bedding inside. I then pick up Pinkie Pie, who’s positively beaming at me. “Now, time for you to go to sleep, Pink one,” I coo to her with a grin. She grins back, and I lay down on the small bed in the corner, one of four. I can only assume that the fourth bed is for the driver.

“Nighty-night, my sweet Pinkie,” I coo to the pink pony in a sing-song voice, not caring what neither Charles nor Agent Tratno think of the lullaby. “May your sle~ep be restful, may your e~yes now close, may you have good dreams Pinkie, may your nightmares explode.”

She giggles up at me, and I remain on my back as she snuggles up on my chest. Within a few minutes, she’s flat out on her stomach, and is breathing gently in her sleep. I take a deep breath, and close my eyes, too.

“Uh, Peter? You’re not going to have dinner?” Charles whispers to me. I keep my eyes closed, and whisper back, “spoon feed me, bitch.”

“In your dreams,” he chuckles. I hear him walk away, and hear another man walk up to me, whose smooth, calm voice I immediately identify as Agent Tratno.

“May I say, you’re doing a fine job with your ponies,” he whispers to me. “But to not have dinner?”

“I ain’t hungry, foo’,” I whisper back, stroking Pinkie’s unruly mane.

“Sure you’re not,” Tratno responds. “Sure you’re not.”

To be totally honest...

I could eat a damn cow right about now.

But, alas, my children must sleep, and for Pinkie to sleep, I have to skip my dinner.

Frowny face.

I take a deep breath, and chuckle lightly to myself.

Weirdest. Day. Ever.

The sound of crying penetrates my sleep.

“Peter,” a voice urgently echoes.

I grunt, and turn my head away from the light above me.

“Peter, something’s wrong with Derpy,” the voice urges me again, and I feel someone push at my shoulder.

Derpy? What in the fuck is this guy talking abo-

I bolt upright, my eyes wide open as I see Charles, holding Pinkie by my bedside. I look over to the crib, and see that Derpy is rubbing her eyes, and is continuously crying.

“Papa!” She cries. I smile for a split second.

Her first word...

However, I don’t have long to dwell on that. I roll out of bed, and hurry over to the crib. Agent Tratno’s snoring is the only thing to contest with the grey filly’s squeals of pain.

“Papa! Papa!” She cries again. I instantly reach down, and pick her up, cradling her against my body as I rock her back and forth, shushing her as I comfort her.

“Shhhh, it’s okay, daddy’s here, Derpy. Daddy’s here, papa’s here.”

I gulp, as it sends a shiver through my spine to see Derpy in so much pain. She removes her hooves from her eyes, and slowly opens them.

Or, rather, slowly opens one. “Papa?” She asks, sniffling up at me.

“Yes, honey. Papa,” I coo to her, kissing her on the forehead as she opens her other eye.

Obviously, her split vision is too much for her, as she instantly closes the lid that covers her immobile eye, and begins to moan in pain once more.

“Papa...” She whimpers as she curls up against me, pressing her muzzle into my shirt. “Papa...”

“I know, honey, papa’s here, don’t worry,” I whisper to her as I cradle her against my chest, letting her feel the warmth and rhythm of my heart thrumming inside me. “Papa’s here, and the pain’s going to go away soon, don’t you worry one bit...I’ll get your eye fixed, I promise, it’s only a matter of time. Shush, Derpy, daddy’s here, and he’s going to make everything better...”

Of course, all I can really do is make her feel better, which silently and slowly tears me apart inside. The fact that I can’t directly do anything to actually make her better in general is a daunting, and horrifying, thing for me to accept.

She sniffles again, and I walk over to my bed, and sit down, eyes closed as I cradle her. “Shush, papa’s here...”

Just then, Agent Tratno gives a rather bravado snore as he awakes. “What’d I miss?” He mumbles as he sees me, with Derpy in my arms.

“Her double vision kicked in,” I explain. “She was crying from the pain. Lucky that she didn’t upset any of the other ponies,” I muse, as I look over to the ponies in the crib. They’re really just looking on in sympathy. Well, most of them. Fluttershy (of all ponies!) snorts derisively, and turns away from the grey filly and I, obviously apathetic to her sister’s condition.

I stand, and walk over, frowning at the yellow Pegasus as I kneel in front of the crib.

“Fluttershy, that was very mean,” I scold her. “I didn’t expect you to be so mean,” I continue. She shrinks back, and Rainbow Dash nods, walking over to stand by her side and stare her down. “I know you’re just a baby, but you have the mind of a toddler, or even older. You guys are much smarter than you look. I know that what you do isn’t just mindless shenanigans, you mean what you do, and you know the implications of it. I know that you knew doing that would be mean, and you did it for a reason. I don’t want to ever see anything like that from you again, ever.”

Fluttershy’s lower lip begins to quiver, and she, too, forces out her first word. “S...S...S...Sowy,” she whispers, her “r” slurred by her under-developed lips.

“Aw, Fluttershy,” I coo, frowning in guilt. “I’m sorry. You’re too young for me to yell at you, Flutters. And, hey, you just had your first word!” She picks up at that, and smiles gently. “You should be proud of yourself!”

She nods, and Rainbow Dash pouts. “Now, come on, and apologize to Derpy.”

With another nod, and a small smile, she slowly makes her way over to the wooden bars of the crib, and kneels down by Derpy. “Sowy,” she whispers through the bars to the grey filly. Derpy Hooves simply nods, and keeps a hoof pressed to her left eye.

“Good,” I whisper to them. “I’m proud of you, Fluttershy. You’re a good little pony,” I coo, trying to make up for my reprimanding her earlier as I tickle her under the chin. She smiles, and nuzzles the tip of my finger.

“Sowy,” she repeats. I reckon that “sorry” is the only word in her vocabulary at the moment, so there’s really no other word she can use to convey ideas to me. I smile, and withdraw my finger, and look up at Agent Tratno.

“Is there anywhere we can get a small eyepatch for Derpy?” I ask as I stand, and make my way over to Tratno, Derpy sucking silently on my thumb, both of her eyes shut. Tratno knocks on the wall of the truck/hotel, and we immediately pull to a stop.

Within a few minutes, blinding early morning light is let into the room, and a rather portly man is illuminated to us, his small beard accentuating his equally dark mullet of hair. “What is it, boss?” He asks, scratching at his chin with a surprisingly muscled arm and firm hand.

“I need to know if there’s a store where we can get an eyepatch around,” Tratno requests. The man nods, and is about to pull the hatch back down, when the Agent holds up a finger. “But, wait, pull the truck over first,” he calls out. The driver nods, and rubs his red, puffy, sleep-deprived eyes as he pulls the cover closed.

“Shouldn’t he get some sleep?” I ask as the truck starts up again.

“No, it’s just allergies,” Agent Tratno explains to me as he holds his arms out to Charles for the pink pony in his arms. Pinkie eagerly leaps into the Agent’s arms, curious as to who this newcomer is. He can’t help but release a small “awwwww”.

Then again, who can?

“So, who drives when he sleeps?” I ask as the truck comes to a stop, and the sound of a truck door slamming shut reverberates through the wall. “Oh, and why didn’t he freak out about the ponies?”

“First off, his name is Ryan,” Agent Tratno drones. “And the man who drives for him is named Sheldon. Not very truck-driverish names, but, they’re just names. They sleep in the passenger’s seat. And they were both told that the ponies were a genetic experiment, and that they’re not to be questioned, or spoken, about.”

I nod, and make my way over to the couch before the television set.

“When he gets back with your eyepatch,” I whisper to Derpy, “we can stop your double vision from hurting so much, and you can watch some television!”

She nods, and smiles up at me as if nothing had happened. I shake my head in wonder, and turn back to the crib, where Rainbow Dash is-

“Rainbow Dash!” I exclaim, shocking Charles and Tratno out of their discussion. I set Derpy down on the couch, quickly make a small pillow fortress around her to ensure she doesn’t fall off, and walk over to the crib, where Rainbow Dash is trying her best to scale the side of the crib, pulling herself upwards with her wings, (which she has wrapped around the thin pole,) and keeping her traction with her hooves.

“No, Rainbow Dash!” I reprimand as I pick her up, and place her back down in the crib. Pouting, she crosses her front legs. “Don’t do that, honey, you could get hurt,” I coo to her. She flexes her wings, and shakes them a bit to display that she can fly. “You can fly, but you’re not exactly a grown pony! You can’t just fly whenever you want, Dashie! You need to rest; you’re only a little baby!”

She frowns up at me, and, with a sigh, I pick her up. “You really know how to play to my guilt, you little miscreant,” I coo to her, using “miscreant” as a positive term for the first time in my life. She smiles up at me, and flexes her wings as I place her down in the playpen. “We’re going to watch a movie soon, so don’t do anything...Dumb,” I coo to her. She nods to me, and immediately tries to jump over the playpen’s gate.

She lands flat on her face on the other side.

“Rainbow Dash, are you okay!?” I exclaim as I pick her up. She rubs her forehead, and looks up at me with an air of complete innocence. I smile at her, and kiss her on the forehead. “Of course you are. You’re my little tank.”

She nods, and yawns, wide and long.

Just then, the door the truck/hotel opens, and Ryan walks in, a package from a party store clutched in his fist. “Lucky we stopped off in a town,” he grumbles as he hands me the eyepatch. “Good luck.”

With that, he walks out, closes the door, and, within a few seconds, the truck starts up again.

“Well, that was...Polite,” I mumble to myself. I rip open the packaging, throw it in the garbage, and walk over to Derpy.

“Derpy, I have a gift for you!” I coo. She looks up at me, just as Rainbow Dash jumps onto the couch, and then off of the back, gliding for a short time before she crash-lands into the sock mountain, sending socks flying everywhere.

I quickly wrap the eyepatch around Derpy’s head, and make sure it’s comfortable over her lazy eye. “Papa,” she states warmly with a small smile.

I nod, and kiss her on the forehead. “Yep, I’m papa. Now, let’s watch a movie, while I get everybody’s breakfast ready.”

I walk over to the destroyed pile of socks, and immediately hear Celestia and Luna whining behind me in grunts and exclamations of dissent. I first dig Rainbow Dash out of the mess, who looks up at me in complete innocence, and place her on the couch, before I pick up Celestia and Luna, and let them go about the work of reorganizing their glorious Mount Sockmore. I chuckle lightly to myself, and put all of the ponies on the couch, and quickly have Charles and Agent Tratno help me prepare the breakfast.

“Twilight and Fluttershy get solids,” I state. “But Derpy gets milk, even though she can talk now. I doubt that she’s, ah...Able, to handle solids yet. Give both Fluttershy and Twilight oats, Charles.”

“On it, Pete.”

“Agent, just hand me the bottles. I’ll feed the ponies, and so will Charles. You can feed a few, if you’d like,” I offer as I take the first two filled bottles, which belong to Applejack and Big Mac. I immediately kneel down in front of the couch, and pop the bottles into their respective mouths. They eagerly suck at the nipples, and eventually push the bottle away from themselves. Big Mac lets his head rest on the couch, and closes his eyes for a quick nap. “Lazy bugger,” I coo as I replace the bottles on the counter.

“Can I feed the pink one?” Agent Tratno finally asks. “Sure,” I respond, handing him the bottle with “P.P.” written on it in Sharpie. “I’ll get her. Pinkie Pie?”

The pink pony immediately pops up over the back of the couch, and I pick her up, and hand her to Agent Tratno. “She’ll want more, but don’t give it to her, okay?”

“Sure, Mr. Mactylan.”

“Please, call me Peter.”

“Uh, okay, Peter...”

I nod, and pick up three bottles at once. “Charles, help me feed Vinyl Scratch, Octavia, and Lyra?”

He nods. “Just let me finish with Rarity...”

I look over, and see Rarity, slowly and carefully sucking at the plastic nipple, waiting a few seconds between each suckle, so that she can swallow the milk before any more enters her mouth. I smile, and give her a little thumbs-up for her good manners.

After a few seconds, Charles walks over, and I hand him Octavia’s bottle.

Lyra immediately hops up as she sees the bottles, and a huge grin spreads over her lips. “Hey, Lyra. I can see you’re eager for breakfast,” I coo, as I put the plastic nipple near her mouth. She eagerly clamps down on it, and suckles away like a madpony. I turn to Vinyl Scratch, and do the same. She’s a bit more gentle with the bottle, and finishes a bit later than Lyra. Both of them smile up at me, and I kiss the both of them on the muzzle. “My little neon ponies,” I whisper with a chuckle, just as Octavia finishes her bottle of milk.

Pinkie Pie unexpectedly plops down on the couch, and I recoil a tiny bit. “Oh, hi. Nice of you to drop in.”

With a shriek of laughter, she claps her hooves at the joke. I look up at Agent Tratno, who has the most amazed, yet horrified, look on his face that I have ever seen.

“You okay?” I immediately ask.

“She...Jumped. About three feet, vertically, and right into that couch...That...That’s not possible...”

“It’s Pinkie Pie,” I say with a shrug. “She can break physics.”

Shivering, he nods, and I place down the bottles, and pick up the two that belong to Celestia and Luna.

Celestia pushes the bottle away at first, and I wait for her to finish her section of the sock mountain. Luna, however, is more than willing to take a small break.

After Luna has had her fill, I give it to Celestia, who gladly has some milk, now that she has finished her project.

Once they’ve both been fed, and they’ve both finished their sides of Mount Sockmore, I pick them up, and place them on the couch, just behind Twilight Sparkle, who’s having oats handed to her by Charles.

I take a handful of oats, and start hand-feeding Fluttershy. She’s timid at first, and obviously wants her bottle, but finally cedes as I press it closer and closer to her mouth. She immediately takes a liking to it, and opens her mouth for more.

Next, I feed Rainbow Dash. She’s fidgeting on the couch, but the milk I give her manages to calm her a bit. She closes her eyes as I tilt the bottle upwards, and allow her to suckle the milk out of the bottle. She quickly pushes it away, and starts fidgeting again, staring at the television screen. I bend at the knees, and kiss her on the nose...

Just before she burps, right in my face.

“Augh, Rainbow Dash!” I exclaim, reeling back with a bout of laughter. She explodes in giggles, as well, and I ruffle her mane before setting off to pick up Derpy’s filled bottle.

I look over to Charles, and see him feeding Trixie. I smile, and give Derpy the bottle. She gladly accepts it, and as she suckles the milk from the bottle, I adjust her eyepatch, to ensure that her entire eye is covered by the black fabric.

Finally, the feeding is done, and I can have my breakfast. I reach into the mahogany cupboard, and pull out a box of Cheerios. I poor it into a bowl, saturate it with milk, and shove a spoon in.

Happily munching on my Cheerios, I set them down on the table in front of the couch, and walk over to the VCR and television. The first thing I see is an old tape of “Thomas the Tank Engine.” I smile at it, as it brings back memories of when I had to babysit those two little kids...But now, I get to watch it with children of my own.

I pop it in, and lower the volume enough so that it won’t hurt their tiny ears. Before I sit down to watch it with them, I see Agent Tratno gesturing for me to walk over to him.

“While the ponies are occupied,” he whispers, “we need to discuss a small bit of...Business.

“We’ve stopped your transaction, for that new house. Instead, we’ve seized a house. No, nobody was actually living in it, and yes, it is rather isolated. However, your promise to send them to school was not forgotten, Mr. Mactylan. It’s just on the outskirts of Wichita.”

I raise an eyebrow. “What in the hell is Wichita?”

“It’s the largest city in Kansas,” Agent Tratno explains. “Large enough to have its own skyline.”

I shake my head in dissent. “No, nonono. That’s ridiculous, how am I supposed to remain incognito with a huge city nearby?” I have to raise my voice ever so slightly, as the old episodes have started on the tape.

“It’s pretty out of the way,” he explains. “About ten miles away.”

I rub my forehead. “Whatever. We’ll talk more about it when we get there. Right now, I need to be with my kids.” And with that, I stand, and walk away, bringing another spoonful of Cheerios up to my mouth as I sit on the floor by the couch, and observe the ponies’ reactions carefully.

Pinkie Pie is surprisingly calm. She simply sits there, and watches the trains...Talk, and the various events unfold without any qualm.

Twilight is scratching her forehead. She obviously doesn’t understand the concept of a child’s show, and is already searching for any logic in the course of the show. (She won’t find any.)

Celestia and Luna are carefully observing the television screen for any hint of...I really don’t know. But their eyes betray how much thought they’re putting into what they’re seeing.

Rainbow Dash is lying on her back, her cyan wings outstretched to give her balance. She pokes at the air every few seconds, undoubtedly trying to poke the upside down trains that flicker across the screen.

Applejack is, for the most part, enjoying herself. However, she occasionally has to push Big Mac off of herself, as the red colt is trying to find the most comfortable way to sleep. A few times, he apparently mistakes his sister as a pillow, as he constantly leans on her, despite her continual protest.

Rarity is sitting on top of a pillow, and is turned away from the trains, as if they’re nothing but dirt. I poke at her, and she pouts at me, as if to say “what is this garbage?” I frown, and decide that maybe she’ll enjoy “101 Dalmations” just a little bit more...

Fluttershy is somewhat scared of the trains, as she’s withdrawn under one of the pillows surrounding Derpy Hooves, and is watching carefully from underneath. I reach in, and gently attempt to pull her out. As I do, she frowns in protest, which is when I realize: She wasn’t scared of the trains, she was genuinely enjoying watching them from under the pillow. I smile, and let her crawl back under. She smiles back up at me, and fixes her attention on the television once more.

Trixie is watching the colorful, talking trains with an air of incredulity. Just like Twilight, she’s attempting to find any reason or will to this show. Hopefully, she likes “Mary Poppins” better...

Vinyl Scratch and Lyra are rather bored, but Octavia is watching on in interest. Vinyl Scratch yawns, and turns over onto her belly to catch a quick nap.

Derpy Hooves just smiles as she stares up at the television screen, her eye patch hopefully stopping her double vision from kicking in and causing her any pain. She occasionally pokes and prods at it, but she doesn’t seem to mind it at all. In all honesty, she just smiles at everything, except for the pain her double vision can cause her.

I turn back to the television, and suddenly feel the urge to change what’s playing. Not only because it’s actually quite painful to experience such nostalgia, but the ponies are starting to seem genuinely bored by it. Even Pinkie Pie has turned away from the slow-moving trains, and is looking around for something to do.

“Hold on, guys,” I say with a smile. “I have something better.”

I press the Eject button on my VCR, place the old tape back in its box, and reach for the next one: “The Sound of Music,” I explain as I hold up the movie for them to see. I pop it into the VCR, and sit down, an eager smile on my face.

I can only hope that it’s as amazing and fun as I remember it to be...

To my delight, (and the delight of the ponies,) it’s that, and even more.

Because now, I can show it to my own children. Which makes it all the better.

When “The Saints Go Marching In” has been playing for about a minute or so, a few of the ponies begin to hum along. They’re obviously enjoying the carefree, light-hearted movie much more than the slow-paced world of talking trains. I hum along as well, and smile with reckless abandon.

A little while later, when “Do Re Mi” comes on, I can’t help but giggle along with the ponies in giddy happiness. Lord knows, I haven’t watched this movie in ages, and it feels great to see it flashing on my screen again...But, to be totally honest, it kinda hurts to watch it again. I mean, not like “fuck this sucks”, but it’s just that it makes me remember when I had been a child, and of my parents, and of my sister...

To remind myself that I have much more in my life than I ever did, I look over to Octavia, Vinyl Scratch, and Lyra. Lyra is smiling wide, Octavia is nodding along to the music, and Vinyl Scratch is giggling lightly.

Celestia and Luna are lying down, and are humming along to the music.

Twilight is humming along to the notes as well, and so is Rarity.

Pinkie Pie is bouncing up and down, and is constantly giggling as the song courses through the air.

Applejack and Big Mac are smiling gently, and the both of them look plum tired. That, or just lazy.

Rainbow Dash is smiling a huge smile, and her tiny white teeth are showing as she bobs her head along to the music.

Trixie is humming, which I notice just now.

Fluttershy is still under the pillow, but her entire head is poking out now as she watches the movie with her siblings.

Derpy Hooves is just smiling along, enjoying herself for all it’s worth.

Lastly, Rarity is smiling at the screen, and evidently isn’t disgusted by anything, even the fact that the characters are sitting in a field as they sing.

I smile, and look back to screen.

All too soon, the credits are rolling, and the ponies all pout, and sigh. They seem to want more.

And, strangely enough, so do I.

“Don’t worry,” I say with a smile. “We still have Mary Poppins!” I instantly pop the tape into my VCR, and sit down, fidgeting in anticipation. I simply can’t wait to see how the ponies react to it...

Oh, dear God, why...

Why did I have to show them Mary Poppins?

They loved it.

Celestia and Luna hummed along to almost all the songs, Rarity was in love with the elegant house, Derpy...Well, she just smiles at everything. Well, anyway, all the ponies kinda just giggled, and loved the movie.

However, now, I can’t get Pinkie Pie to stop screaming

“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!” She squeals, jumping from the couch to the floor, and from the floor to my head, and from my head to the couch, and from the couch to the table, and then squeals out something else from the song. “Suoicodilaipxecitsiligarfilacrepus!”

“Uh, first word much?” Charles bursts out in a fit of laughter, catching Pinkie Pie as she jumps in front of him, on the table. There’s cereal all over her mane, as I hadn’t finished my cereal, and had just placed it on the coffee table between the television set and the couch.

She had jumped right into it with her first exclamation of “supercalafragilisticexpialodocious”.

I walk over, and take her from Charles’ arms, and kiss her on the forehead. “Well, look who’s a little smarty!” I coo to her. “And look who’s also all messy! Looks like you need a bath!”

Pinkie Pie frowns at me, and shakes herself in my arms. Immediately, the Cheerios are flung out of her pink mane, and all over the floor.

“Or...Not,” I mutter, confused and amazed. I shake my head at the hyper pony, and turn to face the other ponies, who are still on the couch.

And all of them have passed out.

Even Rainbow Dash, after having fidgeted for the entirety of the two movies, had decided to call it a day.

I smile, and give Pinkie Pie to Charles. “Hold her for me,” I demand. He simply raises an eyebrow, and cradles Pinkie in his arms. “Gladly.”

I move over to the couch, and lean on the back of it, looking down on the sleeping ponies. They all seem to be so happy, so content, so...Sleepy. Especially Big Mag. That lazy bugger...

I pick up each of the ponies, gently and carefully, and put them back in the crib. When I’m done with that, I sit down at the small table with a hefty sigh.

“Hard work, huh?” Tratno asks with a smile, as Charles snores away on the chair next to me. I nod, and gesture towards him, and Tratno smiles knowingly. “Charles clocked out about a half hour ago. Just, out of nowhere, leaned back and fell asleep.”

I smile mischievously, and press my toe onto the leg of his chair. I push it back, slowly, until it starts to fall.

“SHIT!” He shouts out as he wheels his arms to retain his balance. He finally does, and he sits upright as I snort in laughter. “Aw, screw you, Peter...”

“What’s ‘shit’?”

My heart stops. I look to my left, and see Twilight up against the bars of the crib, an inquisitive look on her face.

I walk over, and crouch down next to the crib. “It’s a very, very bad word, Twilight Sparkle,” I whisper sternly. “And you will never, ever use it again, okay? No matter how many times Charles or I may use it, you can never, ever use it. It’s a very, very bad word.”

Twilight nods, and sits down with an air of confusion. Just then, Pinkie Pie jumps into my lap, and rams her head into my gut. Oddly enough, her mane feels more like a ton of bricks being pile-driven into my stomach, and I’m winded for a moment. “Pinkie-? Why?”

Pinkie Pie frowns up at me, and points to the chair Charles is sitting on, Charles’ lap, my foot, the floor, her head, the floor, and then to my lap. Her crazy pointing episode leaves her forelegs wrapped around her muzzle like small pieces of pink string, and they wind back into place with a small zip. I blink in confusion for a few moments, and Pinkie Pie sighs in exasperation, instead acting out what had occurred.

She jumps onto Charles’ lap, ignoring his grunt of pain as her hoof descends into a rather unfortunate area, then reenacts Charles losing his balance, then jumps to the floor in a crazy fashion that ends up with her bonking her head on the wood, and lying flat out on her stomach. Finally, it hits me.

“Ohh, when I tipped over Charles’ chair, you fell onto the floor!” I exclaim in pride, feeling rather like an idiot. Pinkie Pie simply raises an eyebrow, presses her hoof to her face, then looks back up to me and holds up a sign that says “Ya don’t say?” on it.

“Where did you get that sign?” I ask, pointing at the three words. The sign quickly disappears, and Pinkie Pie looks up at me in innocence, shrugging and asking “What sign?” in her adorably high pitched voice.

“You can talk, too?” I immediately ask.

“What,” Pinkie (oddly enough) states.

“I said,” I begin, repeating myself, “you can talk, too?”

“Sign,” Pinkie chirps.

“No, I asked if you can talk, too.”

“Sign, what?”

“No, I asked if you can talk, silly!”

“Sign!”

Charles sighs, and leans towards me. “I think she only knows how to say ‘what’ and ‘sign’, genius.”

I immediately blush, and nod. “I knew that.”

Charles smirks, and nods. “Sure you did.”

I roll my eyes, and look over to Tratno. “So, how much longer ‘till we’re there? I need to see where this house is...”

Tratno shrugs. “Anywhere from-”

Just as Tratno begins to speak, I feel myself lean to the side slightly as the truck pulls to a stop. The large door on the back of the truck opens, and a man I haven’t met yet – I decide it must be Sheldon, the substitute truck driver – beckons to us. “Come on, we’re here,” he mutters, throwing quick glances at the pink pony on the floor, and the various ponies in the crib. I nod, and raise an eyebrow at the agent next to me. “You were saying?”

He sighs, and gestures for me to begin unpacking my stuff, and the ponies. I look down to where Pinkie Pie was, and I notice that she’s disappeared.

“Oh, shit,” I mutter, instantly assuming that she had scampered off, and perhaps even ran out of the truck. I hurry to the edge of the truck, and notice a bunch of trees surrounding the exit, and a far-off sky scraper. I look around frantically, my palms and forehead perspiring like crazy as I search for that pink little pony...

“Uh, Peter? You okay?” I hear Charles ask.

“No!” I immediately respond without turning around. “Pinkie’s gone!”

“No, she’s right here, in my arms,” he says in a strange tone of voice. I turn, and sigh in relief as I see the pink baby in his arms give me a rather disappointed glare, and I sigh. “I knew that,” I mutter. Both she and Charles nod in unison, and Charles says “uh-huh.”

With a small chuckle, I go back to the crib, and I begin the long task of moving all of the ponies into the new home.