Chapter 0: A Failed Recounting

Well, that day had been a very...interesting, day.

For a few reasons.

First off, I woke up at a quarter to one.

AM.

Yeah. Fucking one o’clock in the morning!

And, as if that wasn’t strange enough, when I walk out of my house, decked out in my sweatpants and grey t-shirt, what do I find?

An army of boxes.

About twenty of them, and my house was the center of the semi-circle!

Now, in my non-caffeinated state, my first reaction was to run back into my house and barricade the door, and call the police and order a full military lockdown on cardboard everywhere.

However, my first reaction was to walk over to the closest box, and take a look inside.

I believe my thought process followed these lines:

Boxes?

Oh, shit, boxopalypse! Oh, my, God! The boxes are going to kill me!

Wait...

They’re fucking boxes.

Might as well take a look inside one of them...

Oh, God, I should not look in them. What if they’re all bombs!?

Wait, this would be a bit overkill. The overall idea is a bomb is you use one to blow up a house, not...What is this, twenty boxes? About that. Anyway, you don’t use twenty bombs to blow up a –

Awwwwww!!!!

There, before me, staring up at me with the most adorable eyes I had ever seen in my entire life...

Was a baby.

And not just any baby.

It was a baby Rainbow Dash.

Yeah, this sounds great and all, and believe me, it is.

At the time, I was overcome with joy and love, and I tenderly bent down to pick up the small filly.

Now, I know this hasn’t been very descriptive, but I’m struggling to keep Celestia and Luna from fighting for the light switch while I’m writing this.

Oh, did I just spoil that for you? Well, I think I’ll just start over, okay?

If you could hear me right now, I would clear my throat.

Alright...

Here we go.

Are you sure you really want to hear/read the full story?

If you do, just comment below.

I might miss some stuff along the way, but...Oh, shit. Be right back.

Sorry about that. Wait, why am I writing this in? It’s not like I’m live chatting with you...

Anyway, if you’re wondering what that was, it was Rainbow Dash knocking over yet another television set.

Okay, okay...Just...Comment below, I really need to go, Fluttershy is crying again...

Alright, just...Comment below if you want me to continue this story. I won’t be able to do much, seeing as how they’re all toddlers, and very high maintenance. But, trust me, I’ll do it if you want me to.

And only if you want me to. I’m not going to waste my time on a story that nobody’s going to read, and I need to put my little ponies to bed...

Well, goodbye, and goodnight.

And I’m going to put up my first part of it, don’t worry. Just...After that, comment if you want me to continue.

I really need to go, or else Rainbow Dash will never get to sleep.

Goodbye, and goodnight...

Chapter 1: Surprises

I wake up to a rather loud bang.

Given the amount of bars in this decrepit neighborhood, I assume that it’s just another drunk driver smashing into a pole outside of my single-story house.

However, something deep within me tells me that this is...different.

I turn over, and flick on the lights in my bedroom.

Taking a moment to let my eyes adjust to the flood lights, I stare down at my simple sheets and blankets, observing the shadows that play out across them as the crevices and wrinkles are illuminated.

Finally, I felt confident enough to look up, and when I do, I wasn’t immediately blinded.

Huzzah, I groggily think to myself as I throw my legs over the edge of my small, rather uncomfortable bed.

Opening the drawers of my dresser, I look up to see that the time is 12:45.

Probably just a drunk driver, I think to myself again.

However, as I carry the underwear, undershirt, sweatpants, and socks over to my bed, I get the same feeling that this is something...

Different.

When I’m finally dressed, I cross my small bedroom to my door, and pull it open, rubbing the crust out of my eyes.

Taking a moment to pick up my house phone, should there be an injured driver outside, I open the front door with an obnoxiously loud click.

I wince as the cold morning air stings my senses. Taking a deep breath of the crisp air, I look around to see that, oddly enough, there aren’t any crashed vehicles in sight.

“Well, that’s odd,” I mutter to no one in particular. Taking a look around, I immediately realize that there are at least ten boxes, all facing my house in a semi-circle.

Boxes? I groggily think to myself. Why would boxes make a bang...?

I frown. Is this a boxalypse? Like, a box apocalypse?

I shake my head, the early morning thoughts making no sense whatsoever.

Cautiously approaching the closest box, I have a sudden realization.

Oh, shit! What if they’re all bombs!?

I shake my head. Nah, these are too many bombs. Why would they all want to bomb me? I’m an unemployed twenty nine year old male, who weighs only a hundred and twelve pounds, and has the most boring name ever: Peter Mactylan. It’s not like I would ever fuck a terrorist up...Or be associated with a terrorist...

I stop walking, and blink in confusion. Wait, why would my name be important in that? Ah, screw it. Might as well take a look in the-

All my thoughts stop as I kneel down in front of the box, smiling incredulously at its contents.

Shivering in the morning crisp, is a small, cyan Pegasus, her rainbow mane and tail splayed out beneath her like a canvas.

I immediately stand and run back inside, passing the door to my bedroom, to go right to my closet, which is next to my small bedroom.

After tearing my grey, aeropastel hoody off of its hanger, (the latter of which just falls on the ground,) I rush back outside and immediately kneel by the small Pegasus.

Still smiling in incredulity, I approach Rainbow Dash, slowly, with my hoody in both of my hands. As soon as my warmth enters the box, the filly wakes up, and looks up at me, with all the innocence in the world shining in her small eyes.

I smile at the small pony, but she squirms in discomfort as I edge ever closer.

Finally, she presses herself against the edge of the box, fear evident in her eyes, and looks up into mine.

“Hi, there,” I coo to her, slowly wrapping the jacket around her, swaddling her in its warm folds. The cyan Pegasus visibly calms in the comfort, and smiles up at me, understanding slowly filling her eyes. Holding her like a baby, as she is a baby, I rock her back and forth, smiling as the Pegasus extends one of her exposed, tiny forelegs to me.

Still rocking Rainbow Dash back and forth, I stand, unable to believe my luck.

About two months ago, I had been depressed, and had taken to the bottle.

In fact, I had bought a handgun two weeks earlier, (but didn’t have it until the first day I started drinking, as it was unlicensed until then,) for protection. Where I live, someone would pull a revolver on you faster than a cell phone.

So, after a while of moping over my misfortune...Ah, yes, my misfortune. I have a degree in Biochemical Engineering, but...I can’t really find a job, and couldn’t find a job two months ago, either.

So, after living in my rundown house for about a year, constantly searching the web for a job, (and a better neighborhood,) I had almost given up, and started drinking like crazy. It wasn’t particularly difficult, seeing as how there are twenty bars within five blocks of me.

Thus the drunk drivers.

Anyway, with my handgun in...Well, hand, I was contemplating ending my own life.

When I got a text message from my only friend, urging me to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

I remember deciding to just watch it, as I didn’t have long to live, given that I didn’t pussy out.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic pulled me out of the bottle, and helped me realize that life isn’t so horrible.

Quite literally, it saved my life.

So, I started to fantasize about the ponies visiting me, or just falling to earth.

In all honesty, it was all I had to hang on to, as real life was just to...Dead, for me.

And now, I’m cradling Rainbow Dash in my arms, and her small, cyan hoof is poking me on the chin.

I do not exaggerate when I say that this is the happiest day of my life.

Looking around at the other boxes, I grow curious. Still cradling Rainbow Dash in my arms, gently rocking her back and forth, I take a look in the box closes to the one Rainbow Dash had been in.

I gape at the small, lavender unicorn sleeping within the box, and immediately bring Rainbow Dash inside, setting her down on my small bed.

“Be right back, Rainbow Dash,” I coo to the cyan Pegasus as I unwrap her from my hoody.

Reaching out for me, Rainbow Dash makes a small noise that breaks my heart. I smile at her, assuming that the cyan Pegasus can’t talk, and put my bed sheets around her, kissing her on the forehead as I rush out to pick up Twilight Sparkle.

In a similar manner, I pick up Twilight, ignoring her glowing horn as I cradle her in my arms. Smiling down at the adorable little unicorn, I turn on my heel, and rush back into my house, and I set Twilight down next to Rainbow Dash.

Two down, I think to myself as I step back outside, a lot more to go...

And then, it hits me, as I stand there, with all these cardboard boxes around me.

Each one of them contains a pony.

I experience two things: joy, and dread.

I get to be the father of all of these ponies!

I have to be the father...of all of these ponies...

I take a deep breath.

This is going to be some pretty hard work.

By 1:00, I’ve emptied all of the boxes, save two.

Now, on my bed, and in my dresser, rest twelve ponies.

Here’s the list, just for those of you who are curious:

The Mane 6 (Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash);

Big Macintosh;

Octavia;

Vinyl Scratch;

Lyra;

Derpy Hooves;

Trixie (the Great and Powerful? More like the Needy and Adorable!);

And two more, who still rest in their boxes.

I rush out, ready to deal with any pony.

However, the ponies I find...

I’m not exactly sure if I should put a bullet through my head, or jump with joy.

I decide to do neither. I mean, seriously, they’re both horrible ideas
.

I kneel, and carefully scoop up Luna, who doesn’t seem to mind me at all.

“Well, you’re a smart one, ain’tch’a?” I coo to her. She seems to immediately understand that I’m there to protect, and take care of, her.

After placing Luna in my sock drawer, with Trixie, Derpy, Lyra, Vinyl Scratch, and Octavia, I rush back out to get Celestia.

Celestia immediately warms up to me, smiling at me and hugging me with her free forelegs as I bring her back into my house.

As my door closes with yet another obnoxiously loud click, I swear I hear the small alicorn in my arms whisper an even smaller “thank you”.

I shake off the notion, and place Celestia in the same drawer as Luna, and softly close the door behind me.

I look around at all of the ponies, and then look up at my clock. It’s still only 1:05 at this point, so I decide that it’s time for everypony to go back to sleep. I'm about to just flop into bed and start snoring, when my moon-addled mind realizes that I would be killing several young ponies by doing that.

“Huh...This is awkward...” I mutter to myself.

And it is.

I have nowhere to sleep.

I look at my bed, where Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are studying each other’s wings with undying curiosity, Pinkie Pie is rolling around, Applejack is watching Pinkie Pie with a mix of curiosity and horror, Rarity is pouting down at Pinkie Pie, and Twilight is keeping a careful eye on me. Lastly, Big Mac is laying down on his side, watching Pinkie Pie roll around as well.

In the sock drawer, Octavia, Vinyl Scratch, and Lyra are all watching Derpy Hooves toddle around, aimlessly and clumsily, their faces expressionless as they stare on in confusion.

Towards the front of the sock drawer, Celestia and Luna are watching me carefully, their eyes betraying their mounting curiosity.

Glaring at Twilight Sparkle is Trixie. So, even as an infant, she hates Twilight...

I can't wait until she becomes a teenager.

Sighing, I silently thank myself for making the bottom drawer into my sock drawer, as I doubt that the ponies will stay still, and I don't want them falling out...

Shaking my head, I suddenly realize the key problem in all of this: the ponies are all too spaced out. Yeah. Took me a while, didn't it?

So, I gingerly pick up each and every one of the ponies on my bed, and place them down in my sock drawer, careful not to hurt them.

With quite a lot of effort, I manage to push my bed closer to my dresser, which, unfortunately, startles the countless ponies.

Just as I finish moving my bed, one pony starts to sniff, which I know as the telltale signs of a cry. And who is that pony?

It's Fluttershy, as the loud noises had scared the timid little baby.

"Shh, don't cry, there's nothing to be afraid of, Fluttershy..." I coo to the yellow Pegasus as I pick her up, cradling her in my arms as I kiss her on the forehead. "There's nothing to be afraid of, Fluttershy..."

The yellow Pegasus sniffs, and smiles at me, making a noise that I guess means that she's happy.

And then, before I know it, Fluttershy has fallen asleep in my arms. I kiss her on the forehead, and place her back down in the sock drawer.

And, before I know it, almost all of the ponies are holding their hooves out to me, lonely and desperate for love. Even Celestia and Luna, who I had assumed would have retained their wise mental states. Then again, they've been turned into babies too, so, yeah.

So, I pick them up, one by one, and rock them slowly in my arms, until they fall asleep.

Each and every one of them.

The first I do is Rainbow Dash, as her tiny little wings were buzzing to life in her longing for affection from who she saw as her father.

Smiling in my arms, Rainbow Dash quickly falls asleep, and I place her back where she had been.

Then, Twilight's horn starts to glow, and I have a flash back of the episode, "The Baby Cakes," where Twilight dictated that unicorns have strange bursts of magic as babies. I immediately bend down, and pick her up, cradling her to sleep as well.

Next, Luna's horn starts to glow. I immediately pick her up, placing the sleeping Twilight back in her place.

However, as I slowly rock her, her horn continues to glow, and I follow her gaze to Celestia.

Picking up Celestia in my left arm, I cradle each of them together, the sisters smiling as they slowly fell asleep. I placed them back in the sock drawer as well.

And then, Pinkie Pie began to sniff. I knew that, if she started to cry, it would make a chain reaction, so I immediately pick her up, brightening her mood by the power of the sun. When she falls asleep in my arms, I pace her back as well.

And then Rarity, and Applejack, and Derpy Hooves, (whose hoof was adorably trapped in a sock,) and Octavia, (who refused to sleep unless she was rocked with Vinyl Scratch and Lyra at the same time,) and then Big Mac and Applejack, (who I knew would hate to be cradled separately,) and Rarity, and, finally, Trixie. Trixie...Trixie is an interesting one.

As soon as I pick up Trixie, she frowns at me. I frown back, except my frown is rather comical.

She smiled, but only by so much.

So, I keep her in my arms, and lean back on my bed.

I have to hold her for about a half an hour before she falls asleep.

Gulping, I return her to her spot in my sock drawer, stroking her white mane lovingly. After all, she is now my child, and I love them all. While I'd like to say it comes from the goodness of my heart, it's mostly because I'm so God damn lonely, and having pony children makes life much more bearable.

I make sure that they're all fully asleep, and when I'm totally sure that they are, I flip onto my stomach, ensuring that I can see them all throughout the night.

Chapter 2: A Visitor

They look so adorable, in the light of the moon...

And, as I turn to look outside the window for a split second, I realize something crucial.

This neighborhood, which I’m afraid to walk around, even at the light of day, is no place for a baby, let alone fourteen babies.

I sigh and raise from my bed before silently exiting the room.

For the past four years, I've been saving up money I make from selling my artwork.

That's right. I'm an artist.

Not a well-known one, but good enough to rake in a few thousand dollars each month. As in one and a half. It's not much, but...it's a living. Seeing as how half of that has to go to charity per my contract...let's just say I end up getting about five hundred per month. Not great, but not terrible.

Why didn't I spend it all on a better house, in a better neighborhood, you may ask?

Because I wanted to be able to pay off my mortgage in at least a somewhat faster manner.

However, now that I'm in charge of a family, and a rather large one at that...

I know that I need to get a new house, now.

And I also know that I need someone to help me.

So, I pick up my house phone, and dial the man who convinced me to become a brony.

"Pete? Why are you calling so fucking early, man?" The man answers, rather groggily, after about two minutes minutes of the phone ringing.

"Charles, I can't talk too much right now, but there's something very, very monumental going on right now, and I need to move, now. And I want you to live with me."

"Wait, wait, wait...Are you coming out of the closet to me?"

I almost smashed my phone into the wall in a moment of pure rage, but I stop myself. "No, Charles, I'm not. I need your help with something, badly. Come first thing in the morning, okay?"

I hear Charles take a deep breath. "Fine. I'll come over to your house, first thing in the morning."

"Okay."

"I'm leaving now."

It takes a lot of effort for me not to laugh, just so that I don't wake up the foals in my bedroom. I can't believe that I forgot that it's two o'clock in the morning.

"Okay," I say into the phone, immediately placing it down on its receiver.

And then, I remember something.

He lives two doors away.

I won't have time to-

Before I know it, my door slams open.

"Peter? You said you needed something? And what’s with all the boxes outside?"

I sigh, and run my hand through my hair. "Not so loud, god damnit!" I spit at him, silently. More or less, at this point it doesn't really matter.

Charles raises an eyebrow, and shuts the door behind him. "What? What am I gonna do, wake a baby up?"

And then, I hear one of my fourteen new babies cry. "Yep," I sigh. "And I think that that's Fluttershy."

Charles sighs, and runs a hand through his long hair, leaning against the wall of my narrow hallway. "Peter, this had better not be one of your fucking jokes. Is that a soundboard? You and I both know that ponies don't exist."

And then, more crying, muffled by the door.

"Oh, yeah?" I ask. "Well, come and see."

I open the door to my bedroom, and Charles can't help but follow me in, chuckling and shaking his head.

And, like a fucking moron, he slams the door closed.

This, of course, wakes up all of the other foals who hadn't been woken up yet.

Including Trixie.

I look at Charles, who is simply staring in amazement. I can't help but chuckle. "See? Ah, crap, it took ages to get Trixie to sleep...”

Charles simply stares in amazement, surprise, and from the strain of holding his bowels in. “Peter,” he says, breathless, “why didn’t you tell me?”

I simply stare at him, and I finally reach down to pick up the closest of the crying foals, who just happens to be Celestia. “Because last time I thought there was a pony in my house, I was piss drunk, remember?”

He can’t help but chuckle, and neither can I. At that moment, Celestia starts to cry even louder, and I realize why.

“Hold on, Celestia won’t sleep when she’s cradled, unless Luna’s with her...”

Charles nods, scratching his beard with one hand, pushing back his somewhat-long hair with another, re-enforcing his likeness to Sawyer. Otherwise known as James Ford. I believe his number was fifteen.

“It’s okay, you two...Charles is a good person, alright? He just didn’t know you were here...”

Finally, Charles says something that I thought he never would. Well, I knew he would, it was just a matter of time. “Can I...Can I hold one of them?”

I nod, and he immediately reaches down to pick up the baby Fluttershy. At first, she recoils in his touch, and looks to me for protection. I smile at her, and tell Charles that she “doesn’t fully trust you yet.”

Pouting, Charles puts her back down, and, instead, reaches for Twilight, who also recoils in his touch.

“She doesn’t like you very much, either,” I comment.

Once again, pouting, he puts Twilight back. “Well, who does?”

I look into the sock drawer as I place the now-sleeping Princess babies in its warm confines, and I immediately pick up Trixie, who cries even harder as I hold her.

“Here,” I say with a bit of a heavy heart, “try Trixie.”

Charles nods, and gingerly accepts Trixie from my hands. The unicorn calms down, if only by so much, and actually lets the man cradle her, with a smile. I feel just a tiny bit jealous, but then remember that I have eleven more ponies to cradle.

I pick up Vinyl Scratch, Octavia, and Lyra, and cradle all three of them in my arms, cooing to them as I calm them, slowly. Within twenty minutes, all three of them have fallen asleep.

As soon as I place them down in the sock drawer, Charles reluctantly hands Trixie over to me. However, as I look between Trixie and Charles, I realize that he’s the closest she’ll ever get to a father.

“You can hold her,” I sigh. “She likes you much more than she likes me.”

He nods, and smiles, stroking the sleeping unicorn’s mane as he held Trixie close to his heart, cooing to her as she sleeps.

I smile, and pick up Rainbow Dash, whose wings are starting to flap harder and harder in her agitation. I kiss her on the forehead, and coo to her, until she falls asleep.

Replacing the cyan filly in the drawer, I reach for Fluttershy.

And so on, and so forth.

Finally, when they’re all asleep, and I’m left empty-armed, and Charles still has Trixie in his, I lean back on my bed, thinking hard.

“You do know that this is no place for these ponies to grow up, right, Peter?”

I nod. That was the whole reason as to why I had called him: I hoped we might pool our resources.

“That’s why I called you,” I say, absentmindedly letting my hand down into the sock drawer. I smile as Derpy Hooves hugs my fingers, rubbing her cheek against my hand. “I was hoping that we could pool our resources, and buy a pretty nice house somewhere. I have at least a half a million in the bank.”

Charles chuckles lightly, smiling as Trixie hums in her sleep. “You selfish bastard. I asked you if I could borrow one hundred dollars last week, and you said you didn’t have enough.”

I chuckle as well. “It’s my life savings, Charles. It started out as two thousand, but after adding the salaries from my first few jobs, and the pay-off from all of my expos, I’ve added it all up. Also, I haven’t checked it in about two years, so the interest is bound to have made the amount sky-rocketed...or just increased by five dollars."

Charles nods, putting on the thoughtful face that meant he was in economic badass mode. “I want to know how much money we have to work with here. I, myself, have about four hundred thousand in my bank account, from my life savings. I would gladly spend it all, if it means helping make a good home for these ponies.” At the last bit, he smiles down at Trixie, and I know that he’s fallen in love. I'd say it's a bit creepy, if it weren't for the fact that the same thing happened to me this morning.

Scratching my head, I nod as well. “Well, I think we can buy a pretty decent house with that. Can you stay here and watch them for a bit? I’m going to go get some diapers, and check the bank.”

Charles nods, and I get up from the bed, carefully extricating my hand from they grey Pegasus' grasp. I immediately cross the small room to my door, and, after fetching my cars keys from my hiding place under the flowers, (which reminds me that I need to get oats, hay, and flowers,) I get my wallet from my other hiding place, (which I won’t tell you about,) and walk out into the crisp of the morning.

By now, all of the boxes have been taken away, undoubtedly by the drunkards who decided to wear them as hats. Grateful that I had found the ponies before the usual drunk assholes of the morning, I walk up to my car in the almost empty street.

At least there’s one thing about this neighborhood that I like. Parking is so easy, due to all the DUI’s.

I start up the car, and pull away, worry and distress gnawing at my heart as I leave behind my little ponies.

Chapter 3: Sleep

What if they wake up, and Charles can't put them to sleep?

"Hey, buddy."

What if the diapers are too late?

"Yo, kid."

Oh, God, what if they go to the bathroom on my socks? Without a crib, or diapers, I'd have to move them, and change the stuff they sleep on, and make sure they don't get dirty or sick...Oh, Jesus...I really wish I were there right now...

"Hey, asshole!"

The shout brings me back to reality, and I blush in the corner store, the impatient man behind me holding a box of condoms up to display.

"I’ve got a hot bitch t' fuck, kid. Hurry yo' white ass up."

I turn to the woman behind the counter, and hand her a twenty, muttering a "thank you" as I pocket the change, and walk out with the fifty-pack of diapers under my arm, and the baby powder in my hand.

Dumping the diapers and baby powder in my car, next to the tubes of oats and bags of hay that I bought from a pet store down the block, I close the trunk and hastily get in, lest someone get greedy...For baby supplies.

Oh, trust me, it’s happened before. Drunks constantly attempt to raid the corner store for diapers and powder.

I still have no idea why. Probably some stupid diaper fetish...

As I pull away, I look into the storefront to see the condom man opening the box, and making out with the woman behind the counter. I would say it's disgusting, but I can't help but be impressed by how ballsy (and successful) his approach was.

A few minutes later, I walk into the Chase bank by my house, my bankbook clenched in my fist as the high security men monitor my progression. Admittedly, they're more lax when it comes to white guys in the bank. When there's a black guy, they're reaching for their fucking guns.

A half hour after that, I'm tapping the top of my steering wheel in impatience, glaring at the red light high above me.

“Come on, come on...I have to get home, now...” I mutter, to nobody in particular.

Finally, it turns green, and I speed down the last few blocks to my house, immediately pulling over in front.

I rush inside, diapers and baby powder in one arm, food in the other. When I get in the house, I lock and bolt the door, and place the diapers, and powder, right next to my bedroom. Seeing as how the ponies haven't eaten or drank anything as of yet, I assume that they won’t be needing them.

I bring the pony food in with me, and put it down next to my bed, across from my sock drawer, where the ponies can’t reach it.

"Charles," I whisper into the darkened room. I quickly notice that he's lying back, on my bed, and is holding Trixie. The both of them are sound asleep.

"Where am I going to sleep," I mutter to myself, smiling down at Trixie and Charles.

Just then, Charles' eyes shoot open. That's part of being a citizen here; you become an extremely light sleeper.

You never know when you might get stabbed.

Or raped.

Or robbed.

Or pranked and humiliated on YouTube. (The worst out of all of them, by far.)

"Hey, Peter," he whispers to me. "How much do we have to work with?"

"About seven hundred thousand," I whisper. Charles smiles, and strokes Trixie's mane lovingly.

“Good,” he whispers back. “We can buy enough to keep them safe and happy, if we invest it right...”

I nod. I’ll leave the investiture to Charles, as I know for a fact that he once operated his own mini tycoon of property sales. That is, until there was a fire that took down half of his potential properties. The loss was devastating for him, and he quickly lost the majority of his money in economic gambles that he couldn’t win, given his unfortunate portfolio of burned buildings. The rest of it he either lost to the people who had lived in the burned down buildings, or stored in the bank.

He takes a deep breath, and I can tell he’s been thinking quite a lot while I was gone.

“How do you think they got here?” The question broadsides me for a moment.

I shake my head, zoning out as I stare down at Celestia and Luna, their tiny little wings enveloping each other. I smile, and sit down, cross-legged, by the sock drawer, and examine their sleeping habits. For future reference, of course.

Well, that, and they’re so damn cute that I can’t tear my eyes from them.

Celestia and Luna, as I mentioned above, have their tiny wings stretched out, and barely manage to cover each others' torsos. Celestia sleeps in a protective position, and I note how the white alicorn is somewhat larger than Luna, if only by so much. I smile to myself, and divert my gaze to Derpy Hooves.

“Hey, Charles,” I whisper. “Look at Derpy.”

He does, and silently chuckles to himself.

Derpy is sleeping on her back, her wings splayed out at random angles, covered by the sock that she gums in her sleep, saliva quickly spreading all over the white cotton that has now been turned into a small blanket for the little filly.

“Hey, look at Octavia, Lyra, and Vinyl Scratch, Peter.” Somewhere in the back of my mind, my inner connoisseur of fine literature is screaming that, should a character say that in a book or story, I would fucking burn it.

I do, and my heart melts at the sight. Lyra and Vinyl Scratch are pressed up against Octavia, snuggling up against her sides in their sleep. It’s quite funny, actually, as the contrast of Octavia’s grey, Lyra’s green, (or bluish green, I can't really tell by the light of the moon,) and Vinyl Scratch’s stark white all make for a rather interesting trio of colors.

I move my eyes to the next pony, and my heart melts again.

“Look at Pinkie Pie,” I whisper, amazed at how breathtakingly cute the little pink pony looks in her sleep. I resist the urge to tickle her tummy, as she just looks so cute with her pink, puffy tail in her mouth, and I don’t want to disturb her sleep.

I look over to Twilight Sparkle, who’s sleeping next to Pinkie Pie. I smile as the lavender unicorn gently sucks the tip of her hoof, much like a human baby would suck their thumb.

I look over to Fluttershy, and find that, once again, she’s woken up. Only this time, she isn’t crying, and is sitting up, staring at me with those cute, blue eyes. “Hey, Fluttershy,” I coo to her, silently, “why aren’t you sleeping?”

The yellow Pegasus simply holds up her forelegs to me, and I have my answer.

Because I’m lonely.

I immediately pick her up, careful not to disturb Rainbow Dash, (who is sucking the cyan tip of her left wing next to Fluttershy,) and gently cradle her in my arms.

“Can I try to hold her again?” Charles whispers after a few moments. I think about it, and look down to the yellow Pegasus in my arms, who smiles up at me with all the innocence in the world.

“Okay,” I whisper in response. “Just put Trixie back in the drawer, and sit on the edge of the bed. Away from the ponies. I don’t want you to accidentally kick them or anything.”

Charles nods, and carefully replaces Trixie in the sock drawer, the blue unicorn squirming on the bed of socks as he removes his hands from her.

I stand, and slowly make my way over to the bed, and sit right next to Charles, Fluttershy still smiling in my arms.

“Fluttershy, say hello to Uncle Charles,” I coo to her. I turn her so that she can see the man beside me, and the yellow Pegasus immediately grasps what I mean, which I can tell from how she smiles at Charles. Oh, and waves gently with one of her forelegs.

He’s a friend, too.

I smile at her, amazed at how intelligent she is. I slowly start to hand the yellow Pegasus to Charles. “He’s going to hold you for a bit, Fluttershy. Don’t be scared.”

She nods, and this time, doesn’t recoil from Charles’ touch. Instead, she looks up at me for reassurance, fear passing over her features for a moment. “It’s okay,” he coos to her as I release her into his arms.

Fluttershy averts her gaze from me, and looks up at Charles as he continues to whisper to her. I’m afraid that she’s going to cry for a moment, but the moment passes, and she smiles at Charles, her tiny blue eyes shining in the darkness.

“I think she’s starting to like you,” I whisper with a smile. Charles nods, and keeps rocking Fluttershy slowly, until she falls asleep, wrapping her wings around herself to make a small blanket.

“She’s so adorable,” he whispers as he gingerly places her back. “They all are.”

I nod, still marveling at how intelligent they all are...

I mean, I know they're ponies and their intelligence goes without saying, but for babies...They're pretty damn smart.

And then, an idea hits me.

“What if the government starts to look for them? What will we do then?” I ask, my heart hammering as I imagine a man in a black suit tearing a squirming Fluttershy from my arms.

This gives Charles pause. “I...I don’t know,” he finally responds with a sigh.

I press my fingers to my temple in thought, when I suddenly realize something.

“I need to watch the news later...I need to make sure that nobody noticed the teleportation.”

Charles raises his eyebrow in a dubious fashion. “Teleportation? I thought you said you had no idea how they got here...”

“Did you hear that bang this morning?”

“Yeah.”

“That was the boxes arriving. All fourteen of them, each one holding one of the ponies.”

Charles runs a hand through his long hair. “Well, if anything, let’s hope they assume it was another car crash...”

I roll my shoulders. “We really need to move now. If the government finds out about the teleportation alone, they’ll be all over my ass...”

Charles raises a hand to his chin, and I can tell that he’s thinking, hard. “ Wait, what if...What if we somehow...Convince them to grant the ponies U.S. citizenship?”

I scratch the stubble on my chin. Citizenship...For a pony...

“Yeah, but they’ll want to cut them open, and do a lobotomy,” I urgently whisper.

He smiles. “Not if we promise to donate their bodies to science, once they...Pass away.”

I stare at Charles, and heatedly whisper, “I don’t even want to think about that. They’re still babies, you satanic piece of -" I catch myself. "shimmering dust."

“Yeah, I guess you’re right...We’ll just have to move, and hope for the best,” he sighs, deciding not to comment on my odd choice of words.

I nod, and he takes a deep breath. “Well, what are you waiting for, Pete? Get your laptop. We’ll start browsing for properties, now that I know what our budget is...”

“Okay. Be right back...”

Fifteen minutes later, we’re sitting on the floor, next to my dresser, the laptop on Charles’ lap.

“Wait, what if the light wakes up one of the ponies?”

Charles responds by lowering the brightness, and turning it away from my dresser.

“I think you should get some sleep, man. Hold one of the ponies when you do. It’ll be good to bond with them. That, and I think they'll like it."

I nod, all too happy to return to sleep, and this time with a pony in my arms. Climbing back onto my bed, I sit up and look at my various ponies in my ridiculously large sock drawer.

Speaking of, while you may think of the ponies as cruelly bunched together as they sleep in my drawer, trust me, they’re not. I bought a dresser with drawers that could hold me, and then some. Apparently, at the time, I thought that socks were the largest articles of clothing in my wardrobe, as I bought it with socks in mind. I was going to return it, but I decided not to, and, instead, bought more socks.

And now, I’m glad that I did, because the comically huge drawer is actually serving an important purpose.

Who should I hold? I want to hold all of them, in all honesty...

I run a hand through my rather short hair, and quickly spot Rainbow Dash, who has just woken up, and is staring right at me with her adorable, tiny red eyes. I would say that it makes my heart melt if it weren't for the fact that it's already melted.

“Hiya, Rainbow Dash,” I whisper. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

In response, the cyan Pegasus simply shoves her wingtip back into her mouth, and keeps staring at me. Chuckling silently, I reach down, and carefully pick her up, ensuring that I don’t disturb any of the ponies surrounding her.

I prop my pillow up against the headboard of my bed, and lean back slightly, cradling the cyan Pegasus in my arms.

“You’re a pretty little Pegasus, Rainbow Dash,” I coo to her. “You and your sister both are.”

Smiling through the wing in her mouth, she gently presses one of her cyan hooves to my chin. Still cradling her in my left arm, I raise my right hand to her hoof, and grasp it very, very gently in my fist, rubbing the length of her furry little leg with my thumb.

“I love you,” I finally coo, as I fully accept my new role as her father, and as the father of the other thirteen ponies sleeping on my socks.

No, not my new role.

It’s not a role. A role is something you play out, something you fulfill through obligation.

No, rather, I accept the fact that I am her father, and at that moment, I know that I will press myself to be the best father, ever.

Even if that means going up against the government itself.

I smile, and close my eyes, the sound of typing and gentle breathing combining to calm both me, and the cyan Pegasus in my arms.

Within a half hour, both Rainbow Dash has fallen asleep, and one question continually enters my mind, and keeps me from the gentle embrace of slumber.

Why me, God? Why didn’t you choose someone else, someone who’s better with children, and that has more money?

Suddenly, without warning, I fall asleep. It’s almost as if I was pushed into the void of unconsciousness...

And then, I hear a voice.

And that voice says something that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

It’s the voice of what I would later come to know as an Alicorn.

Because you can help change the world by simply being their father.

Who are you...? I ask my dream, silently hoping that the voice will respond.

When the time comes, I will tell you. All you must know, is that you can change the world, and make it into a land of peace, simply by being their father.

I have so many questions, yet the voice washes them away.

When the time comes...

I quickly fall into a deep, sweet sleep, the words embedded in my memory. More or less.

Chapter 4: Breakfast and News

I feel a gentle shake, and I begin to stir.

I don’t want to wake up...

I almost begin to cry, remembering the dream I had last night about ponies and boxes...

“Hey, Peter, wake up,” I hear Charles whisper.

I reluctantly open my eyes, about to break down because of the fact that I no longer have a –

I smile wide as I see the cyan Pegasus sleeping in my arms. So, it wasn’t a dream...

Thank God.

I look up from Rainbow Dash, to see Charles, holding my laptop up, with a beach side property lighting up the screen.

“How much?” I groggily ask, rubbing my eyes as they adjust to the sudden light.

“Eight hundred thousand, which leaves us with about three hundred thousand. I’ll leave the three hundred thousand in your bank account, seeing as how you’re the father. All you have to let me do is invest a bit of it. Perhaps fifty thousand.”

I nod, still rather groggy. “Okay...So, what will you do? Take the money from my account, and leave three hundred thousand in it after?”

He simply nods as well. I can tell his mind isn’t exactly focused on talking to me. “Uh...Did something happen?”

Charles nods, and places the laptop back where he had been sitting, plugging it back into the wall. He and I both know that my laptop, despite being almost brand new, has one hour of battery life, when fully charged.

When he gulps, I know that either something’s gone either horribly wrong, or he’s uncomfortable about something. I look down at Rainbow Dash, ensuring that she’s still asleep.

“What happened?”

“The house is, supposedly...”

He falters, and I raised my eyebrow, suspicious. “What is it?”

“Fully furnished,” Charles finally gets out, scratching the back of his head in anxiety. I immediately perk up, and Rainbow Dash stirs within my arms.

“Fully furnished? That’s awesome, Charles. Why would you be worried about that?”

The once-economic tyrant sighs, and leans against the wall. “Normally, when someone sells a house fully furnished, it’s because there’s been a complication, and they want to put some frosting on the cake, so as to diminish the problem.”

In my early morning haze, I blink, confused.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“It means that the property may be potentially damaged in some way.”

I shrug. “Well, we’ll have to go out and take a look at it, won’t we?”

At this, Charles smiles. “It’s ten miles away, Peter. I’ll go, and you’ll stay here with the ponies.”

My jaw drops. “Ten miles away? Charles, we have to bring all of these ponies up there, remember? How in the hell are we going to do that?”

Charles shrugs, and looks down at the cyan Pegasus in my arms. “Rainbow Dash is waking up, Peter. And I think she’s a bit hungry.”

I look down at the cyan Pegasus, and smile despite the issue at hand. She has her wing in her mouth again, and is sucking it like it’s a pacifier.

“Get the diapers from outside, would you?”

“Sure thing. You sure you know how to do this?”

“I used to watch my sister’s kids, before she...Passed. I know how to make a diaper.”

Charles smiles in sympathy at the word “passed”.

“Sorry to hear that,” he says softly. I nod, and take a deep breath. Just then, I'm distracted by Rainbow Dash, as she pokes me with a hoof.

“Yes, Rainbow Dash,” I coo to her, “I’m going to give you some food. Just hang in there, okie dokie?”

She smiles at me, and giggles lightly. “Okie dokie lokie?” I coo to her, kissing her on the forehead as she giggles at the words.

I look up, and see that it’s almost eleven o’clock in the morning.

Good. We’re not waking them up too early...

Charles walks back in with the diapers and powder, and I immediately unpack a diaper, and lay Rainbow Dash down on it.

“I hope this works for ponies,” I mutter to myself as I gently put powder on the diaper, and wrap it around Rainbow Dash’s small legs.

Or rather, try to wrap it around Rainbow Dash’s small legs.

She keeps moving them, left, right, up, down, just to foil my attempts at diapering her.

And we both laugh the whole way through.

It’s strange, to have this kind of connection with an infant, the same kind of connection you would normally have with a more-developed toddler. They’re all just so smart, and they grasp concepts much faster than a human baby does.

Or, maybe they don’t. The most I’ve spent around human babies is my sister’s, before she passed away, (she had stage four cancer,) and that wasn’t really that long of a time span, so I really have no way to gauge it.

Anyway, I finally manage to get the diaper around Rainbow Dash’s legs, and I use the pre-made tape tabs to hold it all together. To my pleasant surprise, it stays in place, and perfectly fits her.

“There,” I whisper. “All better now, right?”

Rainbow Dash smiles up at me, and I kiss her on the forehead.

“Time to have some breakfast, Rainbow Dash.”

The cyan Pegasus claps her hooves once, and I poke her on the belly. “I assume that you’re hungry.”

She giggles again, and I reach down to the bag of food by my bed, and pop open one of the tubes of oatmeal.

And then I realize something, something that Charles had obviously realized about ten minutes ago. If he hadn't, he would have left already.

"Yo, Charles, can you-"

"Run to the store, and buy fourteen baby bottles for the milk they’re supposed to have?"

I simply nod, and focus on keeping Rainbow Dash entertained, so as to delay her crying over not having any milk.

"Uncle Charles is going to get you a baba, okay?" I whisper to her, poking her in the belly with a finger. She immediately presses a hoof to my finger, and keeps it there. I smile at her touch, and I lean down to kiss her on the forehead.

However, another hoof comes out to stop me, pressed against my chin.

"Oh, no!" I whisper, making Rainbow Dash giggle. "The infamous Dash has me! Whatever shall I do?"

She removes her hoof from my finger, and jabs it into my nose in a mock punch. It doesn’t hurt whatsoever, but it’s just so adorable that I can’t help but play along.

Then again, even if it hadn't been adorable, I would've played along.

"Oh, no, you're too strong!" I coo to her, laying down next to her and cradling her between my knees. "You've beaten me, O great one!"

I let my tongue loll out, and cross my eyes. Rainbow Dash giggles and pokes me repeatedly.

Each time she pokes me, I make a different face.

By the time Charles closes the door behind him, my eyes are hurting from crossing them so much, but Rainbow Dash keeps me going.

"'K, I got the-What the-"

I look up at him, and chuckle. "Just having some fun with Rainbow Dash." She pokes me, and I make another face at her. "Quick, fill the bottles with milk."

He nods, and hastily brings the bottles into my small kitchen, as we had both seen Twilight's horn begin to glow ominously.

A few seconds later, Charles rushes back into the room, and hands me the bottle.

"Get another, quick," I urge him, as I pick up Rainbow Dash and place her on my pillow.

"Eh-eh-eh-eh!" She shouts, trying, and failing, to reach the bottle.

"No, Rainbow Dash, this is Twilight's. I don't want her to burn my house down with a burst of magic," I softly explain as I pick up Twilight, who is reaching desperately for the bottle.

I hold her in one arm, and support the bottle over her mouth as she sucks the milk from it, her eyes closed as she drinks.

Charles then walks in with another bottle, and just in time, as Rainbow Dash had begun to cry.

Thankfully, Charles is able to get the bottle in her mouth before the chain reaction starts.

As the blue filly suckles away, Twilight Sparkle slows her suckling, and begins to push the bottle away.

"Had your fill, Twilight?" I ask her, before I place the bottle by my side. Reaching back for the diapers, I find one, and quickly lay it out on my bed. When I finish wrapping up the lilac filly, I smile at her, and poke the unicorn on the nose.

At the same time that Twilight's eyes begin to slowly close, and a large yawn explodes from within her, Rainbow Dash pushes the bottle away as well, and crawls over to Twilight, poking the lavender unicorn in her sleep.

Charles and I exchange a glance, and I select a nickname for the young Rainbow Dash.

"I see you like Twilight, Rainbow Poke," I coo to her.

Directing my words, but not my attention, to Charles, I begin, "can you fill the rest of the-"

I look up to find that Charles has already left the room.

He returns a few seconds later with a milk jug, and an arm full of bottles.

"Let's just fill them in here," he explains, as he sits down on the floor and fills two bottles. When he has successfully attached the plastic nipples, he climbs onto the bed and hands me a bottle.

"Let's get Celestia and Luna," I say, immediately reaching down to gently wake up the two Princesses.

However, my hand is immediately stopped by a gummy bite.

"Uh, Peter?" Charles snickers. "I think Derpy's hungry."

I smile down at the grey filly, who is gumming away at my hand, the teeth too small to actually get a grip on my fingers. I slowly remove my hand from her mouth, and pick her up.

Now cradling her in my arms, I look into her one eye that's looking directly at me. The other eye is comically staring off into space, and the both of them close as I place the bottle in her mouth.

I look over to Charles, and I see Fluttershy in his arms, eagerly sucking away at a bottle.

After a small while, both Derpy and Fluttershy push away the bottles. Reaching behind me for diapers, I pull out two, lay them out on the bed, and place Derpy in one of them.

After I diaper Derpy, I take Fluttershy and diaper her, as well.

I place Derpy in the sock drawer, but Charles moves Fluttershy over with Rainbow Dash, in hopes to distract the cyan Pegasus from Twilight, who is now starting to aggressively swat back at Rainbow Dash in her interrupted nap. Despite Fluttershy being present, Rainbow Dash continues to poke Twilight, and the Twilight continues to swat at her. And, before we can do anything, the lavender unicorn eventually catches the cyan Pegasus on the snout.

Rainbow Dash falls back on her flank, and her eyes tear up, a small whine ominously building up from within the cyan Pegasus.

Charles and I exchange a worried glance, and we both dive for her at the same time.

As our heads collide, Rainbow Dash looks up at us and giggles, clapping her hooves together as if to say, "again! Again!"

"Ow...Okay, new rule. I comfort Rainbow Dash," I mutter, holding my head as it throbs. Charles simply nods, holding his head as well, and I poke the giggling Rainbow Dash in the tummy.

"You like that, do you?"

The cyan Pegasus nods, and I realize that she may just say her first word tomorrow, seeing as how she can perfectly understand the English language...

And so can everypony else. It's strange, really, and makes me wonder how old they really are...

"Hey, Charles?"

He grunts, and I look over to see him cradling Trixie in his arms. I immediately ready two more diapers.

"How old do you think they are?"

Charles frowns, and sets the bottle aside as Trixie pushes it out of her mouth. She immediately snuggles up in his arms, and begins her Cute and Fidgety nap.

"I dunno. I mean, they seem to understand English, but...Maybe they're yearlings. I really don't know, Peter. I thought that you might have a slight idea."

I let out a small *humph*, and reach down to pick up Pinkie Pie, who is chasing her own tail in the sock drawer. It takes a while to catch her, as she keeps dodging my hands and sticking her tongue out at me, but when I do, I'm rewarded with a huge, somewhat-toothy grin.

I grin back, and I show Charles her almost-full set of teeth. The pink pony comically retains her giant grin as I turn her, and looks at me out of the corner of her eyes, as if to say, "am I done yet?"

Charles smiles, and rubs her tummy, and pokes her on the tip of the muzzle, releasing a "boop" as his finger makes contact.

Pinkie Pie shrieks in laughter, and releases a rather slurred "boop", her head lolling to one side. Charles and I exchange an incredulous look, and smile. It was a step in the right direction to a first word, and she had only been in my house for one day.

Charles puts Trixie down on the diaper. After I’ve closed it on her small flank, he places Trixie back in the sock drawer, and reaches for Rarity. At the same time, I get the bottle into Pinkie's mouth, and cradle her as she sucks away at the milk.

The pink pony totally empties the whole bottle, and keeps begging for more.

"No, Pinkie Pie," I coo, "you can't have too much milky-wilky."

As soon as I say that, Pinkie Pie starts to whimper.

"Don't cry, Pinkie," I beg, patting her back as I cradle her against my shoulder. "Please, don't cry..."

And then, without warning, Pinkie Pie burps, loud. As soon as the burp escapes her, she stops whimpering, and starts giggling.

Across the bed, Rarity tosses her curly mane in evident disgust.

"So wude, wight Wawity?" Charles coos to her. I simply stare in disbelief.

He's the last person I would ever expect to use baby talk, even to a baby.

However, Rarity enjoys it, as she smiles, and nods.

Charles and I share yet another glance. These ponies are smarter than we were as babies.

Smiling, Charles holds up the bottle for Rarity, and I diaper Pinkie Pie.

She, too, is bent upon foiling my plans to keep her clean. However, I eventually succeed, and boop her on the nose, to which she responds with a boop of her own.

Finally, after Rarity's had her fill, Charles raises his eyes at me.

"Who next?" He asks, noticing the lack of a pony in my arms, having just placed Pinkie Pie down in the sock drawer.

I reach down and poke Rainbow Dash in the side, distracting her from Fluttershy for a moment. The yellow Pegasus takes the moment to her advantage, and tackles Rainbow Dash in a debilitating hug.

Within a minute, they've both fallen into a nap in each others' forelegs.

"Uh, Peter? Who next?"

I look up, snapping out of the world of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.

"Let's do Big Mac and Applejack. I think we'll have to lay them next to each other on the bed."

He nods, and we do just that, resting our elbows on the bed as the siblings instinctively suck away at the bottles. I close the diapers that we had laid them out on, and lovingly stroke Applejack’s short, golden mane.

About five minutes later, Big Mac and Applejack are asleep as well, their bottles on the bed, their bodies in the drawer.

I smile, and motion towards Celestia and Luna. We pick them up, and similarly lay them out on their diapers. As we feed them, the white alicorn opens an eye, and looks directly at me.

As soon as they have both had their fill, I close the diapers, and we place them back in the sock drawer.

And now, for the biggest challenge.

“So, Charles, seeing as how Lyra, Octavia, and Vinyl Scratch wouldn’t sleep unless they had each other, I have reason to believe that it’s the same with their eating habits.”

Charles nods, and picks up Lyra, who immediately turns and reaches for her sisters. (And when I say sisters, I don't mean sisters by genes, but sisters due to all of them being my daughters.)

I take Lyra from Charles’ hands, and she immediately recognizes me as the man who saved her from the cold. She smiles at me, and lets me place her down on the diaper.

Next is Octavia. She clings onto Vinyl Scratch, making it rather difficult to remove either of them alone without making them cry. So while Charles picks up Octavia, I carry Vinyl Scratch with her, and we finally have the trio laid out on three diapers.

I pick up two bottles, and Charles picks up one. We insert the nipples into each of their mouths, and they suck eagerly, instinct telling them that this was a source of food.

By the time the milk is halfway down, they’ve all had their fill, and I close the diapers and place them back in the sock drawer.

I take a glance over at Derpy Hooves, and my heart melts. The grey filly has her forelegs wrapped around one of my socks, and is eagerly chewing the toe of it.

“Well,” Charles whispers as he carefully stands, “I think I’d better go see this house. I’ll call you if there are any immediate problems.”

I nod, and stand, as well.

“I need to get some breakfast,” I mumble as I shuffle past him, yawning in the morning.

He nods, and walks out the door, but not without one last comment.

“This is the weirdest fucking morning ever,” he dryly states, but not without a smile.

I chuckle as I pour out my Cheerios, and saturate them with milk.

This is the weirdest morning ever...

I wake up to a bang,

I find a shitload of boxes,

And I become the father of fourteen ponies.

As I sit down on the couch across from my small television set, I shake my head and sigh.

What have I gotten myself into?

Running a hand through my hair, I pick up the remote, and flick on the television, anxious to hear news about the arrival of my little ponies.

Thankfully, it never comes.

However, the newscasters don’t even speak of it.

They don’t even refer to the bang as a car crash, (which it obviously wasn’t,) and they don't even refer to the bang at all. It's almost as if it never happened, as far as the newscasters were concerned.

Which fills me with dread.

If they’re not talking about it, even in the slightest reference...

Then the government is trying to cover it up, and the FBI is, more likely than not, on its way right now.

Chapter 5: Negotiations

I rush into my bedroom, and close the door behind me. Snatching up my cell phone from its place on my night table, I bend one of the slats in my window shade to take a look outside. There’s nothing suspicious, just a small black cat running by.

“Hey, Pete, what’s up? Did something happen?”

My heart hammering, I stammer, “The government is covering up the bang this morning, I think the FBI is on its way.”

Just then, I hear the telltale hum of a car motor. Risking a peek through the blinds, I see a standard black car stop by my house.

“What!?”

“Yeah, I’m gunna try your idea if they do.”

“Peter, don’t do anything stupid!”

I hang up, and drop the phone in my pocket.

I hope this works, because if it doesn’t...

Well, I don’t want to think about that.

I begin to pace, and glance over at the ponies.

Fluttershy is staring up at me from the sock drawer, her front hooves dangling over the edge of the wooden drawer. Somehow, she can tell that I’m on the verge of hysteria, as she calmly, and cutely, holds up her hooves to me with a small smile.

Smiling back, I pick up the yellow Pegasus and cradle her gently. She presses her hoof to my hand, covering a large portion of the center of my hand's dorsal. Smiling up at me, Fluttershy pats my hand, as if to say, “everything will be alright.”

Which gives me an idea. As I hear the car door slam shut outside, and the black shoes pad across the sidewalk, I quickly review the plan in my mind.

When I’ve decided that it’s the best choice, I kiss Fluttershy on the forehead, and whisper to her.

“Daddy has to do something a bit risky. I might have to let another man hold you, if everything goes okay. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe.”

In response, Fluttershy nods, and presses a hoof to my cheek, as if to say, “I trust you.” She can perfectly understand me, and so can the other ponies. It’s just a matter of time until they finally speak...

The doorbell rings, and I gently set the filly down on my bed.

“Mr. Mactylan, my name is Agent Brown, of the Federal Bureau of Investigations. May I have a moment of your time?” The well-dressed man at my door says.

“Yes, yes,” I sigh. “Come on in. Would you like some coffee?”

“No, thank you,” he dryly states as he follows me into the hallway, stopping just past my doorframe. Straightening his black tie, interlaced with blue stripes, he gets right down to business.

“As I have already said, my name is Agent Brown, of the FBI.”

I nod him on, wondering why he felt the urge to repeat himself...

“We have reason to believe that a nuclear weapon was transported to this area early this morning. Would you happen to know about any such activities, Mr. Mactylan?”

I take a deep breath. “Follow me.”

He raises an eyebrow with a smile, and follows me into the bedroom.

And his jaw drops.

“These fourteen ponies were somehow teleported to my house this morning, in cardboard boxes,” I explain as I sit down and pick up Fluttershy, cradling her gently in my arms. “I took them in, and my friend and I are going to care for them.”

Agent Brown shakes his head in disbelief. “These are unprecedented species. Pegasi? Unicorns? I don’t know much about science, but I do know that we’re going to need to size them, and experiment on them.”

I shake my head in response, wondering why he’s being so...Lenient. As in, why doesn’t he just take them? I decide not to question it, and instead say, “no, you’re not.”

The agent of the Bureau simply raises his eyebrows. “Oh?”

I take a deep breath, and look down at Fluttershy, and then divert my gaze to the sock drawer. A few of the babies have begun to stir, (namely Twilight, Celestia, Luna, and Derpy Hooves,) and are watching Agent Brown with curiosity.

Focusing on the image of Derpy Hooves gumming away at my sock for strength, (and reassurance that I’m doing the right thing,) I make an offer.

“If they are granted full U.S. citizenship, I will adopt them, and, as their parent, I will put them through school, and...” I falter, and take a deep, shuddering breath as I steel my nerves. “And, I will donate their bodies for when they...Pass away.”

Agent Brown raises his eyebrow in surprise.

And, something happens, something that I don’t notice at the time.

The investigative, questioning spark in his eyes...Disappears.

“You...” He begins. “You’re a stronger man than I. you obviously love these...Ponies, as your own daughters, to risk everything for them.” He sighs, and pulls out his cell phone. “Besides, my brother would never forgive me if I risked Fluttershy’s life...”

I smile, and Fluttershy begins to clap her hooves at my regained confidence. “So, you understand that they’re intelligent? And basically human?”

He nods, and pockets the Smart Phone. The blank look in his eyes still remains unnoticed by me. “I’ll ask the Director, and the President, about it,” he states, smiling down at Fluttershy despite himself. As he turns to leave, the man shoots one last comment over his shoulder.

“Good luck.”

Suddenly, curiosity grips me. “Hey, wait,” I urge him. Agent Brown quickly reappears in the doorframe of my bedroom door, raising his eyebrows. It’s now that I notice the blank look in his eyes.

But I make nothing of it.

“Hm?”

“Why did you think that there was a nuclear weapon here?”

He straightens his tie, and clears his throat. “We have Geiger counters stationed all over America, just to ensure that there are no radioactive weapons being handled. The Geiger counter here sent a spiked signal, and we reacted, pulling the bang that supposedly occurred from local news, so as to cover up a potential lapse in security.”

I nod, but have another question. “Why are you so forthcoming with this information?”

He shrugs. “Because I trust you, I guess.”

I raise my eyebrows, and that’s when I notice the blank look in his eyes.

And when I hear the voice of the alicorn, hypnotically erasing any and all questions from my mind.

Why is he so willing to help me? Why isn’t he just freaking out about the ponies from a cartoon show coming to life?

Don’t question it, little one. Let all your questions, slip away.

Yeah, but why didn’t he question it?

Because I told him not to.

So, you changed his mind?

Yes, and all to help you, little one-

At that moment, the soothing, feminine voice is replaced with a rough, masculine voice.

Don’t listen to her! She doesn’t want to help you, she only wants to –

The voice immediately fades, and the alicorn’s voice returns.

Don’t listen to him. He’s someone who would see the world I am in returned to chaos...

Who was that? And what do you really want?

Don’t question it, little one...

Just tell me what in the hell is going on!

Young one, there is much more going on here than you could possibly understand at the current time. I will tell you, but only when you are ready. So, until then...Have faith in me, and don't, question, anything I do for you, and your ponies.

And I don’t.

I decide not to question it, as it will get me nowhere.

My will to question things slip away, and I feel a new will to play along with events, and to revel in my recent success.

Chapter 6: Games

I hold up Fluttershy by the bends of her forelegs, her hind legs dangling beneath her as she stares into my eyes with a blank expression, and kiss her on the forehead.

“We did it!” I exclaim, giddiness coursing through me. I turn to the sock drawer, to see that all of the ponies have woken up, and are staring at me like I’ve gone insane. Well, except for Pinkie Pie, who’s smiling up at me.

“We did it, everybody!” I shout, careful not to be too loud, lest I hurt their small, sensitive ears.

I kiss them all on the forehead, (except for Lyra, Vinyl Scratch, Celestia, Luna, Trixie, Rarity, and Twilight Sparkle, whom I kiss on the side of the head so as to avoid their tiny, rounded horns,) and place Fluttershy down in the sock drawer.

And I (somehow) manage to rope them all into a giant hug.

“You’re going to be citizens!” I coo to them, smiling wide. I chuckle at my luck, and a few of the ponies burst out in boisterous laughter.

Rubbing my nose against Celestia’s, the alicorn’s tiny wings extended behind her, I realize just how lucky I’ve been.

For starters, I found boxes of ponies.

Then, I have a friend that can completely control his slice of the economy, and help me supply for my children.

Last, I’m going to be able to legally keep the ponies as children, and maybe even send them to school.

This is, by far, the best day of my life.

I get my cell phone out of my pocket, and call Chuckles, cursing the day they abandoned speed dial in smart phones.

“Peter? What happened? What’d you do?”

“Agent Brown is going to –”

“Really? The FBI actually came?”

“Yeah. And he’s going to make them citizens, and me their father!”

“That’s great! By the way, I’m eating some breakfast right now, so it’ll take me a while to get to the house.”

“Okay. I’m going to go play with my children.”

I hang up without waiting for a response, and begin to poke ach of the ponies in turn. Each of them giggles, and Rainbow Dash, (who I poke last,) pokes my finger back, and we commence in a furious poking battle, the cyan Pegasus foiling all of my attempts to poke her tummy. Rainbow Dash giggles and shrieks in laughter as I over exaggerate the effects of her pokes on my fingers, and my entire body in general, convulsing in odd and funny ways each time my finger meets her hoof.

Needless to say, Rainbow Poke wins.

As I recover from Rainbow Poke’s debilitating double poke, Pinkie Pie unexpectedly hops up onto my shoulder from the inner sanctum of the sock drawer. Smiling, Rainbow Dash follows suit, barely managing to get over the edge of the drawer with her tiny wings.

I don’t react fast enough for what happens next.

Pinkie Pie jumps off of my shoulder, onto the floor, and out of the room. Rainbow Dash bolts after her, her mane flowing behind her.

“Wait!” I shout in vain, falling flat on my face as I struggle to stand from my small crevice between the bed and the sock drawer.

I immediately feel a weight on my back, and I strain my neck to look over my shoulder. Celestia, Luna, and Twilight are hovering just a bit above my back, their horns glowing as they levitate. As they leave the room, I simply guffaw in amazement as they round the corner.

Magic...Holy shit.

Next, a plethora of ponies jump on my back, making it impossible for me to stand without potentially harming one of them. They know this, and leave one (and sometimes two or three) at a time, so as to secure their overall freedom.

First, Trixie jumps off, and sticks her tiny tongue out at me as she runs out of the room. I can’t help but smile.

Then, Applejack jumps off, and patiently waits for Big Mac, sitting just outside of my reach. As soon as Big Mac lands next to his sister, they leave, giggles falling behind in their wake.

Next, is Octavia, who simply stares up at my back from out of my range. I know she won’t leave without Vinyl Scratch and Lyra by her side, seeing as how she won’t so much as sleep without them, so I take the moment as an advantage to drag myself forwards in a slow crawl. The ponies on my back begin to giggle and clap, as if enjoying the ride and even Octavia seems to enjoy it, despite not being on my back. However, when I reach for her, the tide changes, and the ponies quickly realize that I’m trying to get them back into the sock drawer.

So, to foil my attempts, Vinyl Scratch and Lyra both jump onto my head, thrusting it into the carpet. I know they’ve landed on the carpet when I hear their hooves thud on the floor. As I raise my head, I see the three of them giggling as they run out of the room.

Next, is Derpy Hooves. The grey filly makes a wobbly landing, but manages to gain her balance. I simply let my shoulders go slack, and accept the fact that I won’t be able to do anything until the ponies on my back all escape. However, when the grey filly, in an attempt to leave the room, smacks right into the door post, I almost stand and throw all the ponies off of my back.

Luckily, all I do is shout “Derpy!” in distress, and thrust my arm out, anticipating the tears from pain. However, they don’t come, and Derpy Hooves immediately revives from her slumped position on the wall, smiles at me, and wobbles out of the room.

I know it seems cute, but it worries me. Her inability to see straight, plus her inability to control one of her eyes, may prove to be fatal one day, if she’s disoriented while walking into traffic to cross the street, or anything, really.

I push the thoughts out of my mind for the time being. I have a lot of time to worry about that, as Rarity has just jumped off of my back. I don’t feel any more ponies weighing down my back, but when I tear my eyes from the white unicorn, who is elegantly striding/toddling out of the room, I look back over my shoulder, and see Fluttershy.

The yellow Pegasus is perched precariously on the edge of the sock drawer. One of her forelegs is reaching out for my back, and she’s visibly trembling. With a small squeak of utter terror, she shrinks back into the drawer.

I turn over onto my back, (with some difficulty,) and sit up, looking down at Fluttershy. The yellow Pegasus is sitting in the center of the drawer, alone. She looks around, nervous and lonely, but then looks up at me, and the small smile on my face. The yellow filly smiles back, and I reach in to pick her up. As I do, I take a handful of socks with me, for Derpy. I stand, and can tell that she feels comfortable in my arms.

You know what...Maybe a bit of exploring will be healthy for the ponies. Especially Fluttershy.

I look down at the yellow Pegasus, and smile. “Hiya, baby. Hiya,” I coo to her as she lies back in my arms. “Be brave, okay?”

I turn, and walk out of the room.

At first, Fluttershy is absolutely terrified. I’ve taken her out of her comfort zone, and I can tell that she doesn’t want to leave it, whatsoever. How can I tell?

Her forelegs are stretching out towards my sock drawer, and a whimper is building up.

“Fluttershy,” I whisper to her. “Fluttershy, don’t be afraid. I’m here.”

I cradle her close to my heart, and divert her attention from the sock drawer.

“I’m here. Daddy’s here, Fluttershy. I’m not going to let anything happen to you, okay?”

She nods, and I kiss her on the forehead. “And so Is your family, Fluttershy. We’re all here. We’ll all protect you.”

Fluttershy nods again, and presses her forelegs around my torso, or, rather, what she can reach of my torso, in a tiny, adorable hug. I smile, and slowly walk down the hallway, and into my small living room.

As soon as I do, the ponies there stop exploring and stare at me, and the yellow Pegasus in my arms. I carefully place Fluttershy down, and she looks up at me in confusion.

“Go on,” I whisper to her. “Go on, your sisters, and brother, are here. And I am, too.”

The yellow Pegasus, rather than mingling, immediately hugs close to my foot.

“Go on, Fluttershy,” I whisper. “Go on, play with your sisters. And brother. We’ll keep you safe, don’t worry.”

The yellow Pegasus simply looks up at me, an expression on her face that seems to say “why, daddy? Why are you leaving me here?”

As I attempt to comfort the yellow Pegasus, Rainbow Dash toddles over, and presses a hoof to her sisters’ side. Fluttershy starts, but turns to see Rainbow Dash, smiling down at her.

And that’s when she sees the rest of the room.

The old, bulky television set, the painting on the wall that the couch is pressed up against, the coffee table between the television and the couch, and the kitchen built into the tiny living room are all too much for her. Fluttershy immediately runs behind me, and stays there, quivering.

Rainbow Dash follows the yellow Pegasus, and it’s then that I fully gauge how small they all are. Both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, when on all fours, barely come up past my ankles. In fact they’re about the size of kittens, only somewhat larger.

Despite Rainbow Dash tugging on Fluttershy, and hugging her in an attempt to comfort the timid filly, Fluttershy refuses to budge. Finally, after a few moments, the cyan Pegasus gives up, and returns to her other siblings in the living room.

Smiling, I turn and bend down, bringing Fluttershy up with me as I stand. Walking over to my wooden coffee table, I fetch the gate from under it, and prop it up in the small gap that acts as the entry to the living room.

Why do I have this gate?

For when I would hold my sister’s chinchilla, when she went on vacation, or had to go on a business trip for Maybling. However, as I mentioned before, stage four cancer took its course, and she is no longer with us. Her chinchilla quickly passed away, as well, as the little critter’s reliance on my sister was something to behold.

Anyway, after I place the gate down, to ensure that none of the ponies can escape my small living room, I walk over to the kitchen, and pull shut the accordion membrane. It’s mostly meant to give the living room a more homely feel, what with the absence of a kitchen right there. However, the door to the bathroom is in that same kitchen, so it’s kind of pointless, if not hampering. But, in this case, when I can keep my little ponies out of the deathtrap that I call a kitchen with it, the membrane definitely serves a wonderful purpose.

So, after I mediocrely baby-proof my living room, I sit down on my couch, and watch the curious little ponies toddle around. I silently thank God that the morons who designed this house decided to put the outlets about two feet up in the walls, as they’re way out of the reach of my ponies.

Cradling Fluttershy, I lean back on my couch, and watch the ponies toddle around, aimlessly and somewhat lazily.

After a while I feel something land on my foot. I look down to see that Pinkie Pie has chosen to use the worn-out materials making up my sneaker as her makeshift bed for a nap. I raise my eyebrow in surprise. Pinkie Pie? Taking a nap? Well, well, well, it seems as though we have a rather lazy party animal on our hands!

I look around, curious as to what the ponies could possibly be up to.

First and foremost, Derpy Hooves is wistfully staring up at the socks in my hands. I smile at the grey filly, and let her have one of the socks. She gratefully accepts, and begins to chew it with her tiny teeth, lying down next to my shoe.

Looking around, I spot Rainbow Dash, poking everything she sees. If she sees the wall, she pokes the wall. If she sees Twilight, she pokes her.

If she sees the napping pony on my sneaker, she pokes her, and receives a bubbly poke back.

“Hi there, Rainbow Poke,” I coo to her, even as Pinkie Pie stands, and, on some unspoken agreement, immediately starts chasing the cyan Pegasus in a game of tag. More often than not, Pinkie Pie is “it”, and when she is, she cheerfully bounces around, catching the cyan Pegasus whenever she can, which is not very often. Whenever Rainbow Dash is it, she pouts, bolts for Pinkie Pie, and pokes the pink pony, before running away, victorious.

I chuckle, and look over to Applejack and Big Mac. The both of them are watching Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie in curiosity and confusion.

A few inches away from Applejack and Big Mac, Lyra, Vinyl Scratch, and Octavia are watching Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie as well. Vinyl Scratch has the edge of her hoof in her mouth, and Lyra is repeatedly getting up, and sitting back down, looking between Octavia and Vinyl Scratch, as if unsure of whether she wants to go play tag with the cyan and pink ponies. Octavia is simply raising her eyebrows at the giggling, competitive duo in the center of the room.

Rarity is sitting next to Octavia, and is watching the game of tag progress with distaste, and scrunches her nose in derision as Pinkie Pie hops onto the coffee table, and tackles an unsuspecting Rainbow Dash, (to which I almost stand, but relax when I see that the both of them are unhurt,) tagging the Pegasus as “it”. However, I’ve been watching them as well, and I’m pretty sure that Rainbow Dash had just been “it”. Short after, Rainbow Dash blasts past Rarity, and knocks her over. The white unicorn instantly sits up, tosses her curly, purple mane, and pouts, as if to say “aren’t you going to stop them?”

Suddenly, a small pulse of light catches my attention. I look under the coffee table, to see that Twilight, Celestia, and Luna are seated in a triangle, and are staring at each other’s horns as they glow in turn, making an undoubtedly interesting light show under the table.

I release a small *humph* of interest, and search for Trixie.

The blue unicorn is under the coffee table, as well, but, rather than joining in, she’s longingly staring at the trio before her. Trixie seems to sense that I’m watching her, and she looks back at me, her eyes full of loneliness.

Smiling sadly, I gesture for Trixie to come over. “C’mon, Trixie,” I coo. Amazingly, the unicorn responds to her name, and walks over.

A rainbow blur interrupts her walk, however, and she falls back on her flank. After a few moments of shaking her head in confusion, the blue unicorn gets up and continues her trek over to me.

As soon as she reaches the couch, she sits down, and looks up at me, frowning.

Only this time, it’s not in disapproval, but rather in loneliness, and a longing to be loved.

I settle Fluttershy, (who has fallen asleep in my arms,) down next to me, and lean down to pick up Trixie. The blue unicorn smiles at me, and I kiss her on the side of the head, and begin to stroke her white mane, comfortingly and lovingly.

“I love you, Trixie,” I coo to her. “And so do your sisters.” In response, the unicorn smiles up at me, love and innocence in her eyes.

I lean back on the couch, smiling as both Trixie and Fluttershy snuggle up against me, (the former in my arms and against my chest, the latter on the couch and against my leg,) and let my eyes close for a few minutes as I gently rock Trixie back and forth in my arms.

Chapter 7: Changes

I immediately snap my eyes open when Rarity begins to cry.

Oh, shit...

To my pleasant surprise, none of the other ponies begin to cry. Rather, they all stop what they’re doing, and take a few tiny steps back from the white unicorn.

Smart little buggers...

I walk over to Rarity, (after placing Trixie down on the couch, next to Fluttershy,) and pick her up.

“What’samattah?” I coo to her, one of her tiny hooves coming up to wipe her eyes of tears. I immediately look over at Rainbow Dash, who is simply staring up at me with an air of innocence. I sigh, and look back to Rarity.

I finally catch on.

About five minutes later, I’m tossing away the soiled diaper in my bedroom wastebasket, and powdering the new one. As I wrap it around Rarity, she nods to me in approval. Clearly, even as a toddler, dignity and cleanliness are big issues to her.

That, and babies tend to cry when they go to the bathroom in their diapers.

When I make my way back into the living room, the babies are looking at me in confusion, as if to ask me why I have a big bag of diapers, and Rarity, with me.

In response, I walk over to the couch, place the elegant white unicorn down next to me, and place the diapers down, patiently awaiting the next change.

However, the next change comes in the form of a phone call from Charles.

“Hello?” I say into the phone, dreading why I can hear police sirens wailing in the background.

“Hey, Pete, funny story,” I hear Charles say, exasperated. “I almost got arrested for being in that house.”

“What!? Why?” I shout, distracting the ponies from their now rather large game of tag.

“There were a shitload of drugs in the attic. Cocaine, Meth, Oxycodone, you name it.”

I begin to chuckle, and the ponies decide that it’s okay to resume their game of tag.

“Well, I’ve got to go, Charles. Thanks for letting me know.”

“’K. Say hi to the ponies for me!”

When I’ve replaced my phone in my pocket, I look down at the ponies surrounding me, and see Rarity raising her nose towards the game of tag in distaste, Derpy sleeping, content with a sock in her mouth by my foot, Fluttershy snuggling up with my leg, and Trixie watching the tag game wistfully. I smile at the blue unicorn, and pick her up, cradling her as I walk over to the center of the heated game of tag.

As I place down the blue unicorn to play with her sisters, and brother, I’m instantly tagged as “it” by Octavia.

The ponies stop running around, and take a few steps back. They all seem to be flabbergasted, that Octavia had marked their father as “it”. I sit down, cross-legged, and smile at Octavia in reassurance. The grey filly recovers from her hunched position, and smiles back up at me.

I turn to Trixie, and poke her in her tiny tummy. “You’re it,” I coo to her, instantly getting her wrapped up in the game.

Before I can get tagged again, I slowly rise to my feet, careful not to hit one of the ponies with my legs, and make my way over to the couch again. I sit down, wrap Fluttershy and Rarity up in a hug, and contently watch the ponies before me play tag.

At the moment, Trixie is still it, and the ponies are practically playing Chicken with her, as she darts to catch them. For once, when with her siblings, she’s smiling and giggling. It’s nice to see her play with them, as she’s obviously rather reclusive when it comes to this kind of thing. I just hope it doesn’t come back to bite her later on, such as in High School, or in College, or when at a job interview...

Bah, I worry too much. At least I now know how my father felt...

Anyway, getting back to the matter at hand, Trixie manages to tackle Vinyl Scratch as the white unicorn darts around her. Giggling, the blue unicorn leaps up, and darts away.

Vinyl sits up, and observes the surrounding ponies, pouting slightly as her red eyes zip around in her bright, white complexion. Finally, she begins to run after Celestia, a devilish grin on her face as her blue mane and tail bounce around, the streaks of neon blue in the darker blue creating a dull light show.

Changing tactics, the white unicorn manages to tackle Twilight Sparkle, who strays a tiny bit too close to Vinyl as she darts past her. Immediately smiling at her chance to be “it”, Twilight studiously examines how each of her siblings run, and I take the moment to examine them, as well.

Big Mac runs along with sure, large strides. He’s not the fastest of the ponies, but he manages to cover a lot of ground with his strides. Well, by a lot of ground, I mean for his diminutive size.

Always near Big Mac is Applejack, who runs with the same surety, but with smaller strides. Despite that, the rapidity of her strides make up for the size, as she manages to cover about the same amount of ground as Big Mac, in the same amount of time. The both of them, when they go in to play chicken, always manage to get out in a split second, before the pony marked as “it” gets them.

I divert my gaze to Rainbow Dash, who simply runs around for the sake of running. Her strides are fast, and much more rapid than Applejacks’. Whenever her hooves make contact with the ground, she seems to float for a small while, probably due to the wings she keeps outstretched as she runs. When she goes in to play Chicken with whoever’s “it”, she blows right past them, and doesn’t even bother to wait and let them catch up. She just blows right past them, and leaves them dazed. Her rainbow mane helps, as she leaves a translucent, colorful streak behind her as she runs, confusing the senses and begetting many gapes of wonder, especially from me. I can’t believe that her mane is literally streaking behind her.

Pinkie Pie catches my little eye next. She doesn’t care if she’s “it” or not, she just enjoys playing around with her siblings. One second, she’ll be avoiding one of them, the next, she’ll be chasing them. And, most of the time, the pony she’s running from isn’t “it”, and the pony she’s chasing is “it”. So, more often than not, she’s “it”, and the status only gets passed on when she, by luck or accident, bounces right into one of the sprinting ponies.

My eyes bounce from Pinkie Pie, to another brightly colored pony. Lyra runs at about the same pace as her two companions, and they constantly go in as a kind of strike force whenever they play Chicken with “it”. They bolt run right for the pony who’s “it”, and divert at the last second, only to regroup and keep running a few moments later. Lyra’s blue and white mane bounces along with Octavia’s darker mane, as they run a bit behind Vinyl Scratch.

My eyes jump from the trio, to Trixie, who is watching Twilight with a sort of impatience and distaste as she walks along. I realize that she’s probably deliberately moving slowly, so that she can show up Twilight at the last second. I sigh, and realize that certain things are set in stone, such as a personality of superiority. However, stone can always be chiseled, so I figure that, as her father, I can shape her to be rather different than she was in the show.

My eyes dart from Trixie, to the regal duo of Celestia and Luna. The two are darting around, giggling as they genuinely enjoy themselves. They’re not acting like royalty whatsoever, and, I might just be overreacting, but I believe this shows that I really can shape them to be better than they were in the show. Because if Celestia and Luna aren’t acting like princesses, and simply standing to the side to watch like Rarity is, then it’s possible that they might end up totally different in a different environment, and with a different upbringing. And, if Celestia and Luna can be changed by a different upbringing, in a different world, then Trixie definitely can.

I nod to myself, and I decide that I’m determined to raise these ponies as the best father in the world. I will teach them to be respectful, patient, loving, tolerating, and every other good thing.

However, in this world of violence and lies, how could I possibly raise them to be perfect little angels? Eventually, they’ll catch a whiff of the outside world, and they’ll realize that life isn’t so peachy, everything isn’t so glorious. Eventually, my little ponies are going to grow up, and won’t be the happy-go-lucky, trusting ponies in the show.

Rather, they’ll have to be hardened to certain things. Which fills me with dread, because if Fluttershy is destined to be a meager little pony, how will she ever be able to succeed in the world? I’ll have to teach her to be assertive, and to believe in herself.

And what about Rainbow Dash? With her athleticism, cockiness, and closed mind, how will she ever experience new things? How will she ever manage to make friends, when she’s always so blunt and uninterested about things?

My mind is clouded with worry. Each of the ponies have kinks that I must hammer out, each of them have flaws that may stop them from succeeding in the world...

I mean, when Twilight grows up, and if she has an insatiable will to learn, when she finds all the pain and suffering out there, and delves into it, who will be there to protect her? I won’t be around forever, and I’ll have to make sure that they’re ready to deal with the outside world...

And it’s not like I can keep them tucked away in my house, forever concealed from what the real world is. If I manage to get them U.S. citizenship, I’m sending them to school, and I’m ensuring that their education is the best they can get. They need to be ready for everything...

I stop myself in my thoughts. I’m worrying too much, and I’m starting to sound like my father. Which snaps me back to reality. My father always worried too much, and was so worried that he was almost always shouting at me, telling me that if I couldn’t do that right, I would never succeed in the real world. And, I know I seem like a real screw up: living in a shitty house, and only getting revenue from my artwork. Well, like I said, I have a degree in biochemical engineering. There are no jobs with my skillset open right now, so every day I keep scouring the internet, checking international newspaper websites for a job opening.

Anyway, my point is this: my father would always try to hammer out every little thing in me, things that he saw as flaws. However, when I went into the real world, those flaws never mattered. Oh, they were there, definitely, but I always knew better than to do certain things in public, or in interviews for internships. (I’ve had several internships, all in varying corporations that dealt with biochemical engineering, and most of them were paid, so I have enough experience and letters of recommendations to get a job.) So, if I just manage to teach my children how to act in public, and help them learn what’s appropriate and inappropriate, rather than try to make them perfect in my eyes, but rather make them perfect in their eyes, then that should be enough to ensure their prosperity in life.

However, there’s one pony who I think I have to work extra hard with.

Derpy Hooves.

She can’t even see straight, which was exemplified when she walked into my wall when escaping my bedroom for the living room with her siblings earlier. And, I’m assuming that, due to her extreme cock eye, she could get disoriented very easily and walk right into traffic. And, she might have certain, ah...Mental infirmities, that may hamper her throughout life. She might not understand what something is and get hurt, and I won’t be there to explain to her not to do something. I’ll probably have to put her in a home for the mentally deficient, and I doubt that a school would accept her. If, by some miracle, she’s fully functional, I’ll always have to be around to point her in the right direction, as her unresponsive eye would definitely point her in the wrong direction. I’ll have to monitor her, forever. And not that that’s a burden or anything, but it’s just...Scary. Depressing, even. The fact that my daughter won’t be able to function in society because of a cock eye.

Of course, these are all just my speculations of fear. I mean, apparently, in the robotics team Brooklyn Blacksmiths, (I used to go to Xaverian, I graduated in the class of 2001,) there’s a kid with a cock eye, and he’s one of the drivers, and is one of the best drivers in FRC this year. And, in the year 2012, when almost every High Schooler is tech-savvy, that’s a rather impressive feat.

I take a deep breath, and calm down. I’ll have to change myself, become a father who’s less obsessed with the future, and more concerned with the present. Of course, I’ll have to make sure that they all learn their manners and whatnot, but I need to be here for them, right now. I can’t be constantly reprimanding them because of my fear for their futures.

And now, as I take a moment to reflect, it seems as though everything has to change, in all honesty. First off, I have to change myself, and being only 29, it won’t be particularly difficult to do so.

Second, I need to move, because I’m literally afraid for my children’s lives here, in this shit hole town. Maybe we should move out West, where there’s more space...Screw it, I can worry about that when Charles gets home.

Third, I’ll need a new, larger car. A car that can fit all of these ponies, and keep them safe and comfortable, for when we move. Perhaps a reasonably sized SUV or something, because the ponies aren’t exactly huge or anything...

I chuckle inwardly at the thought of a new car. If I get an SUV, I just know that Charles will never shut the fuck up. He’ll keep making soccer mom jokes until the day I die.

And, lastly, the sleeping Fluttershy has begun to whimper, and poke me repeatedly with an air of urgency. I’m glad I have a trash bin right by me, as I can tell that she needs an immediate change.

When I’ve discarded the soiled diaper, and finished dressing Fluttershy in the new one, I turn back to watch the ponies run around, laughing as Twilight attempts, based on her simple, scientific data, to catch Rainbow Dash just as she passes.

I take a deep breath, and smile.

A change can take place instantly and on purpose, or it can be stretched out over a long period of time, without anybody knowing about it.

However, the amount of time it takes doesn’t matter.

Rather, what matters is the change itself.

So, it’s just like the enigma alicorn said:

By just being the father of these ponies, I can change the world, and make it into a world united by peace, love, and tolerance.

But, to do so, I have to change everything else.

You can thank Chuckles the Werewolf for the idea of Charles getting mixed up in a drug bust.
Also, how do you like it so far? Huh, huh, huh?

Chapter 8: Money

I’ve just finished changing Luna, when the doorbell rings. I kiss Luna on the side of the head, and let her go play with her siblings. She does so with a giggle, and an immediate tagging as “it” from Twilight. I stand up, and let her run into the spread-out fray of ponies.

Walking over the safety gate, (which reminds me of Safety Torch, why, I don’t know,) I make my way over to the front door.

However, not before I stop at my bedroom, walk in, and retrieve my Desert Eagle from its hiding place under my pillow.

I’ll need to move this somewhere else...Can’t have my children playing around with a gun...

I fetch my holster from my top drawer in my dresser, strap it on, and shove the Desert Eagle into the pouch, leaving the clasp open, so that I can take it out if needs must.

Now, you may be wondering: why do I have a holster? Well, in a neighborhood where you’re constantly fearing for your very life, it can’t do to have your pistol tucked away in your pocket, where it can end up getting stuck. Or just falling out.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering why I didn’t just hold the Desert Eagle out in front of me, it’s kind of my second nature to put the holster on.

Also, it makes me feel badass. Which I kind of need here and there.

I slowly open the door, cursing the lack of a peep hole, and see Charles.

“Hey, Charles,” I say, opening the door wide for him to enter.

“’Sup, Pete,” he responds, immediately walking around me, and into my bedroom.

“Uh...Where are the ponies?”

I place my holster, (and gun,) down in my top drawer, and motion for him to follow me. “They’re playing tag in the living room.”

He appears dubious, but I pay no attention as I walk through the hallway, and into my living room, taking care not to crush one of the ponies underfoot as I make my way back to the couch.

“Wow,” Charles says as he climbs over the gate, “They’re pretty smart. Playing tag at las than a day old...”

I bend down to pick up Derpy Hooves, cradling the precious little filly in my arms like a gem. All of my worrying about her has brought me to be ridiculously protective about her. Hell, when I left the room to open the door, the only thing going through my head was the fear of Derpy getting hurt, somehow.

“Well, I think they may be a bit more than a day old,” I declare as I take my seat on the couch, wondering as to why Charles hasn’t blurted out everything that happened at the house yet. “I think they may be a few months old, since Pinkie Pie already said something similar to a word.”

Charles nods, and carefully picks up Rarity, cradling the white unicorn carefully as he takes a seat next to me on the couch. “Yeah...Hey, where’s Fluttershy?”

I look around. Fluttershy is nowhere to be seen. She was on the couch just a few moments ago, and there’s no way she jumped down to play tag.

“Oh, shit,” I mutter, beginning to panic.

That’s when I see the small bit of pink mane, and the small yellow muzzle, coming out of the couch.

I instantly place down Derpy on the couch, and lift up the cushion that Fluttershy is hiding under. The yellow filly looks up at me with a blank stare, no doubt wondering why I interrupted her nap.

“Fluttershy,” I coo, “what’re you doing down there, baby?”

Fluttershy blinks, and smiles up at me. I can’t resist.

While Charles simply stares on, I move Derpy to a safe position on the couch, re-orient myself so that I’m on my chest, with my knees on the arm rest, gently lay one hand on Fluttershy, and rest my chin in front of her, letting the cushion fall onto my head as I touch my nose to her tiny, yellow muzzle.

“Heya, Fluttershy,” I coo to her, the yellow Pegasus giggling lightly as I rub my nose against her muzzle. “Taking a nap under the cushions, huh?”

She nods, and snuggles up with my head. “Well, you have to come out now, okay?”

Fluttershy pulls back, and frowns at me in confusion and disappointment.

“It’s dirty in here, and I don’t want you getting your pretty little coat dirty.”

With an obedient nod, Fluttershy slowly crawls out of the cushion as I hold it up with my head.

I pull my head out of the cushion, and it falls back into place with a pompf. I look down at Fluttershy, who’s simply staring up at me, somehow immaculate.

“How’d you stay so clean, Fluttershy?” I coo to her, smiling as she simply lays her head down and begins to nap again.

“She really wants to talk,” Charles Chuckles.

Subliminal messaging, oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo.

I nod, and pick up the yellow Pegasus, cradling her into a small nap as she sucks on her hoof.

“So,” I say, addressing Charles even though I’m watching the game of tag. “What in the hell happened at the house?”

“Oh, Jesus,” Charles sighs, smiling down at Rarity despite his state of aggravation. “I’ve seen some...Stuff,” he says, careful not to curse around the children, “but this is new.”

“Well, what happened?”

After taking a deep breath, he launches into a tale that only Aziz Ansari could make funnier.

“Well, when I walked into the house, everything looked fine. Beautiful dining room, beautiful fireplace, beautiful...Everything, really. And right by the beach, which is perfect for the ponies, ’cus they could swim in the beach and stuff.

“Anyway, after walking around for a while, I notice a small hatch in the ceiling. Luckily, the owners of the home weren’t around, only the realtor. He said that he’d never seen the hatch before, and that there was probably nothing interesting in it. Which is exactly why I opened it.

“So, I got a ladder, ignored the realtor’s bi-I mean, moaning-on about how it’s nothing, and I managed to reach the string in the wood. When it opened, there was only a small ladder that I could use to hoist myself up.

“Well, I found a bunch of drugs. And the realtor knocked over the ladder I had used to get up there with, which obviously means he was part of it. In all honesty, I thought I was going to die.

“Until the police came. When they got me down, they assumed I was hiding up there, but I told them that I was looking around because I was interested in purchasing it.

“Of course, they didn’t believe me, so they brought me to the station to look up my background. Then, the weirdest thing happened: their eyes kind of blanked out for a second, and when they came back, they let me go, free of any charges.”

I release a small *humph*. Just like what happened with Agent Brown...Obviously, the alicorn who had helped me out with that was keeping a close eye on us, and was ensuring that we would find a place for our ponies in the world.

Now, you may be wondering: why do I insist on calling the voice an alicorn? Couldn’t it just be God, or something?

Would God let the world know that humans aren’t the only Created beings that have a soul, and therefore shut down one of the main pillars of Christianity, namely about humans deserving more respect than animals? I thought not.

Anyway, I don’t mention the incident with Agent Brown to Charles. I feel as though the words that the alicorn said were for me, and me alone, as I don’t want to drag Charles into something that even I don’t understand. And I’m the centerpiece of it.

So, I simply shrug, and absent mindedly watch the ponies run around, and so does Charles, the both of us chuckling as Pinkie Pie begins to chase Luna, which is ridiculously cute and funny, because the latter is actually “it”.

With a deep breath, I decide that it’s time to address the elephant in the room. “We need to find a new house, and bad. I think we should get one out in the West, where there’s a lot of open space for them to play in. Hell, with $1.1 million, we can probably buy a small mansion...”

I hear a sharp intake of air, and turn to face Charles. “You okay, Charles?”

“I forgot to tell you.”

“What?”

He puts on an evil grin, and tells me one of the most amazing things I’ve ever heard in my life. “The manager of my bank owed me some money. About five million bucks, and interest has been pretty low, especially since he let me open up an account for free. Anyway, I scored him a bunch of buildings, so he owed me about a million for each one.”

My jaw drops. “So, we don’t have $1.1 million, we have...”

“Six million.”

I chuckle lightly. The chuckle slowly builds up to a giddy laugh, and then explodes in a boisterous bout of laughter. “We have six million dollars!?”

Charles simply nods. “Yeah. Calm down, it’s not that much.”

I stop laughing, and smile wide at the man next to me, faltering a bit as every one of the ponies in the room simply stop running, and stare at me. “Not much!?”

He looks at me, a serious glare etched on his features that cuts my laughter short. “People always freak out about six million dollars. But then they spend it on stuff, like nice houses, new clothes, televisions, and more. If we have six million dollars, we can only spend, at most, three million on real estate for our own use. I’ll put one million in your bank account, and trust you to use it wisely. A million dollars can run out in a few months, so be careful. And, I’ll keep two million in my bank account,” he adds on with a flourishing hand gesture towards himself, “so that I can invest it, make a portfolio, and get a steady flow of cash.”

I smile incredulously. “Dayum...Well, I’m pretty sure that my kids are going to be spoiled.”

Charles simply raises an eyebrow at me, but says nothing as he turns his attention to Rarity. I smile, and look at the ponies staring at me from the floor.

“Go on, guys, keep playing, I’m fine, we’re just rich,” I reassure them.

Charles clears his throat, places Rarity down beside him, and turns to face me. “We need to decide something. First off, we need to decide on a house.”

“Yeah, I know. And a way to get the ponies from here to the house. I was thinking something like an SUV...”

Charles smiles at me, and I know what he’s going to say before he says it. “What, like a soccer mom?”

I simply stare at him. “I will eat your soul,” I mutter.

He nods, and takes a deep breath, collecting his thoughts before he continues on. “Go get your computer. I’m going to research rather large properties...”

I nod, and set Fluttershy down, and walk out of the room.

But not before I say one thing.

“Charles, let me get this straight: You’re a tycoonist, and yet, when you need to buy a building, you didn’t bother checking your own bank account for money, where there just happened to be five million dollars?”

He visibly blushes, and stares at me with a look that says “I will kill you”. I simply nod, and leave to get my computer, snickering in the privacy of my room.

Chapter 9: Close Calls

“Watch them while I’m gone, Charles,” I call over my shoulder, mentally running through the checklist as I secure the holster on my waste.

“You sure you should be walking? Why don’t you take the car?”

In response, I pat the Desert Eagle strapped to my belt. “If anyone tries to kill me, I’ll kill ‘em back.” Charles raises an eyebrow at me, and I smile. “We’re in Florida. The Stand your Ground Act lets me do that.”

Charles smirks, and nods to me. “Okay. Go ahead, go get the stuff you need.”

I curtly nod, and he immediately returns to the computer, determinedly searching for new property to both capitalize on, and to live in.

I take extra care to lock the door as I leave, and make some last-minute adjustments to my gun. It’s conveniently concealed by my waistcoat, so nobody will bother me with the licensing bullshit. And, even if they do, I keep the gun’s license on my person at all times.

Anyway, I walk towards the baby store, (which is five blocks away,) shaking my head in disbelief. Who would’ve thought that Orlando would be one of the most dangerous cities in America?

Anyway, as soon as I reach the baby store, I ensure that my gun is completely concealed as I enter the rather large building. Strange, how the buildings in this neighborhood are the largest when they’re the most profitable...

I pick up a few supplies, ranging from crayons and coloring books to pacifiers and baby movies. I absent-mindedly dump them all on the counter, tapping the surface with my credit card in anxiety.

What if Fluttershy goes back under the cushions, and gets crushed this time?

What if Trixie doesn’t join in, and gets lonely?

What if they need a change, and Charles can’t do it himself?

What if...

What if...

I manage to shock myself out of my reverie as the final object is packed into the plastic bag. I look at the total, and release a small *hmph* in present surprise. Most of the stuff is on sale, so it only comes to about two hundred dollars.

Wait...

Wait...

Wait.

Two hundred dollars!?

I mean, I did buy ten movies, and I did buy about sixty coloring books, and I did buy about fifty packs of crayons...

Okay, I think I’m starting to see how it costs this much.

As I replace the credit card in my wallet, I pick up the bags, drop a distracted “have a nice day” to the clerk, and waddle out the front door, the bags weighing me down as I struggle with their weight.

As I agonizingly slowly walk the five blocks back home, I suddenly feel as though someone is watching me. And not in that, “ohmyGodI’msopopular” sense, but that “ohmyGodI’mgoingtodie” sense.

I twist my neck, and see a man leaning out of an alley way. I look back in the direction that I’m walking, and crick my neck.

Once I’ve arrived at the crosswalk, I stop walking, and twist my neck again.

Wow, is this guy bad at covering up his attempts to rob you.

He’s literally just hunched over, aiming right for me.

“Problem?” I ask, staring right at him. He blanches, and immediately stands straight up.

“Uh, no, none at all, man. Thanks for asking, though,” he immediately mumbles, adjusting his dirtied under shirt so that it wasn’t pressed right up against his neck. I see his hand move towards his pocket, and I subtly place my bags down on the ground, and reach for my own pocket, or rather, my holster.

“Actually,” he obviously forces himself to say, sweating profusely as he stares me down. “There is one problem.” He whips out a switchblade, and directs the point straight at my gut. “Wallet and phone, now, bitch,” he growls, smirking at me.

Before he can react, I have the muzzle of my Desert Eagle pressed against his crotch. “Oh, shit,” he mutters, staring down at the gun, sweating profusely. I growl in a much more threatening tone than he could ever muster. “Either you get the fuck out of here, or I’ll shoot your balls off. You hear me, mother fucker?” I disable the safety, and place my finger on the trigger. “I said, get the fuck out of here.”

He immediately draws back his switchblade, nodding furiously as I keep a steady aim on his...Head. He first pulls his crotch back, and then the rest of his body follows suit. He spins on his heels, shoves his hands in his pockets, and walks the other way, hunching his shoulders to avoid arousing suspicion.

I simply holster my gun, (after turning safety on,) turn on my heel, pick up my bags, and keep walking, my heart hammering in my chest as I replay my amazing blunder, in which I didn’t manage to raise my gun to the head I wanted to point it at, over and over again in my head, chuckling as I recall that priceless look on his face...

I silently shut the door, and bring the bags into the living room, (after placing my gun in my bedroom,) to find Charles struggling to contain Rainbow Dash, whose wings are beating furiously, and whose bare flank is an obvious indication as to what was going on.

“Stop...Rainbow...Dash!” Charles grunted, paying no attention to me whatsoever. “You...Need a...Diaper!”

Finally, the cyan Pegasus manages to escape his grip, and I drop my bags, taking care not to step on any ponies as I attempt to catch the blue bullet.

“Rainbow Dash!” I shout, unable to contain my laughter. “Get down here! We need to change your diaper, Dashie!”

The cyan Pegasus flies right into my arms, sending me crashing to the ground. I see Vinyl Scratch, Octavia, and Lyra scattering, as they must have been beneath me as Rainbow Dash...Tackled me.

“Happy to see me, Rainbow Dash?” I coo to the cyan Pegasus. Rainbow Dash looks me in the eye, smiles, and nods. “Charles, get a diaper?”

“Uh, okay, sure...Uh...Let me just...”

I raise my head, and line of vision, above Rainbow Dash’s tiny bush of chromatic mane, and see Charles, tiptoeing around crazy ponies to get to me.

“Here,” he finally says, dropping the diaper and powder next to me. “I’ve got research to do.”

I nod, and pick up Rainbow Dash, rubbing my nose against her muzzle. She giggles, and I immediately dip her onto the diaper, powdering it before I fold it around her legs.

Of course, she tries everything to foil my attempts. Finally, after a few minutes, I press my mouth to her little tummy, and blow, much like you do to a human baby. The cyan filly explodes in laughter, and I take the moment to my advantage to fully diaper her, using the tape tabs to hold it closed. She pouts at me, and I poke her in the belly.

“You’re a feisty little one, Rainbow Poke,” I coo, before sending her off to play with her siblings. I sigh, and look over to Charles. “Dude,” I say, catching his attention, and a pause in his typing. “You’ll never guess what happened...”

He raises an eyebrow, and smiles. “You almost got mugged, and you pressed your gun against their forehead, and they went running scared?”

I smile at him, and subtly point at my crotch. “Other head,” I quip, sitting down to play with the ponies at my feet.

Charles guffaws at me, then explodes in laughter. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

I shake my head, and release a chuckle myself. “Yeah. He ran like someone had pointed a gun at his crotch. Oh, wait, someone did.”

Charles shakes his head, and wags a finger at me. “Not cool, man. You can point it at their face, but at their dick? No. Never.”

I frown at him, but smile as Celestia worms her way under my hand, using her horn as a wedge to make room for her tiny body. I instantly return my attention to Charles, and frown again. “Don’t curse in front of my children,” I scold. “I don’t want them to hear that kind of language until...Well, ever, in all honesty.”

Charles nods, and mutters a small apology, before returning to my laptop to research more property.

About ten minutes later, I’m sitting on the couch next to him, scratching Fluttershy under the chin with a single finger. “So, what’d you say this is?”

“An old plantation. I have a feeling you’re gonna like it, Peter.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. It has about five or six acres, and the manor is pretty large. It has enough room for the ponies to live comfortably. And, it has electricity, as it was turned into a museum, until everyone in the surrounding five miles moved. So, they ended up just leaving it up to someone to buy, and it was put up on the market just recently. And, we were the highest bidder by twenty dollars. The bidding just ended now.”

I guffaw at him. “Wait, wait, wait, wait...You just bought this fu-” I catch myself, as Fluttershy’s ears are wide open. “You just bought this fantastic house, without asking me about it first?”

Charles smirks at me. “Good save. Anyway, yes, I did.”

“Oh? And what makes you think I’ll like it?”

“There’s nobody around it. Nobody at all.”

“Where is it, then?”

A sharp intake of air came before the delicate information. “It’s in Kansas.”

I almost slap him. “KANSAS!?”

“Calm down, I-”

“HOW IN THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO GET THE PONIES TO KANSAS, CHARLES!?”

“If you would shut up for a second, I could-”

“THEY COULD DIE ON THE WAY!”

“I have a license for driving trailers! I can buy a nice trailer; we can get a few air mattresses, and tell the FBI we’re moving! They’re obviously rather interested with the ponies, I’m sure they’d be eager to keep them out of the city!”

I stop, and draw back, blushing a bright red. “Oh...Right...Riiiight...”

Charles rolls his eyes, and curiosity grips me. “How’d you get that license, anyway?”

“Oh, after some nigg-” Thank God he caught himself. “I mean, after some guy stole half of my furnishings for a new property, I decided to do most of the delicate procedures myself, such as transporting the furnishings themselves. Also, Trump made it a requirement, but only for me.”

“Trump? As in, the Donald Trump?”

“Yeah. I didn’t always work here, I worked in New York. If I had started my own tycoon, he would’ve shut me down immediately. So, I applied for a job as a portfolio manager there. He fired me almost immediately, when all of those buildings burned down...It was tragic, really. In NYC, there’s plenty of efficient FDNY stations, but believe me that certain fires just can’t be stopped.”

I nod, and shrug. “Well, let’s hope that Orange Trump doesn’t catch up to us any time soon.”

Charles rolls his eyes, and gestures to the bag of supplies I brought home. “What’s in the bag?”

“Coloring books, crayons, movies, pacifiers, stuff like that.”

“Ah. Well, I’ll look for a trailer.”

I nod, and kiss Fluttershy on the forehead before crossing the room to my television stand, where my house phone rests in the cradle. Along the way, I practically have to play hopscotch, as Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Big Mac, and Pinkie Pie all feel the necessity to run as close as possible to my feet.

And finally manage to trip me.

I land flat on my back, and a plethora of colorful ponies surround me. I feel a bump forming on my head, and I realize I hit the television stand, and managed to knock the house phone out of the cradle and onto the floor, by my head.

It rings before I get a chance to stand.

See what I did thar?
Close calls?
The phone was close to his head when the call came in?
Huzzah for really bad and unintentional puns that should have remained undiscovered!

Chapter 10: Messages

“Hello?” I cautiously say into the phone, Charles sending me a curious glance from across the room.

“May I speak to a...Mr. Mactylan, please?”

“This is he,” I say, making eye contact with Charles as I shrug. “Uh, just for peace of mind, who is this, exactly?”

“This is the Office of the Under the Secretary of Defense for Intelligence, calling from the Pentagon. We received a telephone call from our agent, Mr. Brown earlier today, concerning the radioactive blast that occurred outside of your house at about oh-one hundred o’clock.”

I take a deep breath, but don’t say anything.

“We would like you to know that the President of the United States would like to speak to you, either by a telephone call or direct meeting. Which would you prefer, sir?”

My jaw drops, and I mouth, “the Presidents wants to talk to me,” to Charles. “I would much rather prefer whichever is more convenient for him,” I respond, my heart hammering.

Did he accept? Did that alicorn nudge his decisions like she did Agent Brown’s?

“Then by phone. I will forward you now.”

I nod, but before he forwards me, a question blurts out. “So, wait, why didn’t the President’s direct secretary contact me?”

“I was given a direct order from the President himself to call you, sir. I’m disallowed to tell you any more than that.”

“Okay,” I say with a shrug, forgetting that he can’t see my actions.

“I’ll forward you now.”

I look over to Charles, and he’s on the edge of his seat, staring at me and my house phone.

“Hello, this is President Barack Obama-”

That’s all he manages to get out.

Before I drop the phone.

“Ah, crap,” I say, bending down to pick it up.

As I do, Rainbow Dash swipes it.

“Hey – Rainbow Dash, bring that back here this instant!”

She sticks her tongue out at me, and throws it to Pinkie Pie, who bounces it on her back. I attempt to catch it from her, but Twilight grasps it with magic, and so does Celestia and Luna.

“No!” I shout, snatching the phone from their grasp. The three ponies frown at me, tears forming in their eyes.

“This isn’t your toy, this is important!” I spit as I return to the phone.

“Uh, hello? Mr. Mactylan?

“Sorry, Rainbow Dash got the phone...”

“Ah, yes, your children. Or, rather, ponies.”

“Children,” I immediately blurt out. I blush, and Charles face palms. “Sorry, Mr. President. Go on.”

“No, no, that is rather called for. Your children are a very big deal in the United States right now. We won’t go public with their presence on Earth, but we will aide you in moving to a secluded home.”

I smile, and give Charles a thumbs up. “We just found a home out in Kansas, Mr. President.”

“We?”

“My friend, Charles, and I are both dealing with stuff for my children at the moment.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. Stuff? I mentally reprimand myself. I just said “stuff” to the President of the United States?

“Ah. Good. At least you’re not doing it alone. Well, whenever you plan to move, we will help you to do so.”

“Thank you, Mr. President. We’re actually planning on moving sometime this week, if that’s of any help to you.”

“It most certainly is. Now, then, I, ah...I must admit, that I, too, am only human.”

I raise an eyebrow in surprise. “Oh? What are you getting at, Mr. President?”

“If you don’t mind...Could you...Could you send me a picture of your children, over your smart phone? My number is...”

I write down his number, and give my consent.

“Thank you very much, Mr. Mactylan.”

“No, thank you, Mr. President.”

“Good luck, now!”

“Good luck to you, too!”

The call ends, and I replace my phone on the receiver. Charles instantly places my laptop down, and walks over to me. “What was that?”

“The President wants a picture of my children,” I say, rather proud of myself.

“What? No, no, I mean, what was the call about?”

“The government is going to help us move the ponies in secrecy,” I explain. “They’ll probably just send an agent over to keep anyone, and everyone, quiet on the matter.”

Charles nods, and gestures at the ponies around us. “Well, I think it’s time we get a picture, don’t you?”

I smile, and nod, immediately scooping up a few of the ponies, which isn’t especially hard, seeing as how most of them are now just dozing off on the rug, lying flat on their tummies as Rainbow Dash continues to rush around.

“Pick up a few, Charles,” I say as I carry my armful into my bedroom. The ponies in my arm, (Vinyl Scratch, Lyra, and Octavia,) all yawn consecutively, their tiny mouths stretching as their eyes shut tight.

“Alright, guys, just sit tight,” I say as I place them down in my sock drawer. I stroke each of their manes, and rush back to get Flutterhsy, almost bumping into Charles, and the two earth ponies, (Applejack and Big Mac,) in his arms.

“Just set them down,” I say as I leave the room to bring Fluttershy in.

Within a few minutes, all of the ponies have been placed in the drawer, and all of them are yawning wide as they curl up and have their individual attempts at sleep.

All, of course, except for Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.

“You two need to go to bed!” I whisper as I dive at the bouncing pink pony, landing flat on my face as she jumps to the side. “Crap...” I mutter into the rug.

Behind me, Charles isn’t having much better luck, as the cyan Pegasus keeps darting between his legs, and his attempts to catch her are all in vain.

“No, Rainbow, no, no, no, no!”

Within a few seconds, his back is on top of mine, and my face has been shoved back into the carpet.

“Ow!”

“Charles, stop moaning and get up!”

As we stand, I immediately manage to catch Rainbow Dash at a corner when the cyan Pegasus decides to take a breather. The cyan Pegasus struggles against me, but her weak wings prove to be of no avail.

“I’ll be right back,” I announce, but quickly turn to see Pinkie Pie, snuggling up against Charles in his arms.

“That was easy,” he remarks as we leave the room.

As soon as we get in my bedroom, Charles places Pinkie Pie down in the drawer, and I cradle Rainbow Dash gently, attempting to calm her down from her excited state.

“Just calm down, Dashie,” I coo. “You’ll be famous for this! You’ll get your picture up in the White House!”

The cyan Pegasus pouts at me, and I tickle her under the chin. “Please?”

She immediately softens up, and hugs my finger as I place her down in the sock drawer, right between Derpy and Fluttershy. Derpy, as usual, has a sock in her mouth.

“Okay, guys, just stay like that,” I whisper as I sit on my bed, and retrieve my smart phone from my pocket, the piece of paper with Obama’s number (OBAMA’S NUMBER) on the bed next to me.

I quickly (as in, after ten minutes of loading) get the picture, and send it to the freaking President of the United freaking States.

Within a few minutes, I receive this text in return:

“Adorable, you’re obviously taking good care of them. By the way, will have a large trailer sent to your house with a driver and an agent to help you keep it hushed up. And, will have certain terms for you to accept. Nothing big. Good luck.”

I smile, and begin to bounce up and down on my bed. “Oh my God, I just texted the President of the United States and he answered!”

Charles pats me on the back. “You’re famous, buddy!”

I chuckle, and a clear voice pervades my mind.

Do not let it get to your head. I changed his decisions.

Sweet! Thanks!

Good. You’re not questioning it.

Why would I?

Exactly.

The last word was slightly venomous in how it was pronounced, but I let it slide.

Besides, we have a long week ahead of it.

Chapter 11: Preparations

I put the cardboard box down, the contents rattling as it makes contact with the floor. It’s full of the stuff I bought for the ponies, and it is unbelievably heavy.

“Hey, where do you want your guitar?”

I stand and crack my back, before gesturing towards the obvious case on the floor by Charles. “Just put it in there,” I say, cracking my neck as the effects of my physical strain take hold.

“Would you mind telling me why we’re leaving the furniture, again?”

I shrug. “Well, Obama wants us out by today. We’re basically being evicted for a good cause. And the reason why is because a shitload of news reporters are making their way over here, and he wants to keep the ponies hushed up. I have a pretty good feeling that the ‘terms’ he mentioned are to observe them as I raise them, and he doesn’t want any reporters getting suspicious. He’ll move some random people into our old houses, and that’ll be that.”

After Charles places the guitar in the case, he walks over to his luggage, and re-checks it one last time, just to make sure that he has everything he’ll need on the ride to Kansas.

“It’s weird to think that we’re a focus for the media,” he muses as he closes his luggage, satisfied with the contents. “I mean, seriously...”

I nod, and push the box up against the wall with a toe, but don’t bother to open the luggage adjacent to it. “Well, the President said that the trailer would be here by two. So, seeing as how it’s one, we have an hour to play with the ponies...”

Charles nods, smiling wide as I say we can indulge ourselves. We both enter the room, and I immediately smile sheepishly.

Thirteen of the ponies (the odd one out being Derpy) are looking up at me in confusion from the bare draw, as if to ask “where in the hell is our bed?” I smile, and sit down by the drawer. “We’re moving, guys. In an hour, we can leave, okay? But for now, you’ll have to tolerate this, okay?”

The ponies simply stare at me, and Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes, pointing towards Derpy Hooves, who is currently contently sucking on a sock. All the ponies turn to look at Derpy, and then turn their ire back on me, frowning in obvious irritation. They’re deathly silent, and despite them being children, it’s kind of intimidating.

“You guys know how much Derpy loves socks!” I plead, smiling uneasily. Celestia and Luna stand, their wings flared in agitation as their horns glow. “No, no, nononononono. You guys don’t have to do that, okay? I’ll...Uh...”

I stop, and realize something important. They may look like babies and have the bodies of babies, but they have the minds of toddlers. They need to be taught what’s wrong, and what is right. And now is the perfect time to start.

“You two, sit down!” I order in a low tone of voice. The two ponies simply force more energy into their horns. “I am your father, and I demand your respect! Now, sit down before you never see your socks again!”

The two alicorns shrink back slightly, and they have obviously grasped the full meaning of my words, as the glow in their horns is diminished slightly.

“And that goes for all of you,” I say, making eye contact with each and every one of my children. Each of them shrink back and nod in turn, and Derpy drops the sock in her mouth.

“Derpy,” I say, “we no longer chew on socks. I’ll get you guys your pacifiers. We don’t chew on socks, okay?”

The grey Pegasus nods, and I pick up the sock, recoiling slightly as I realize just how covered in saliva the thing is. I throw it onto my bed, and turn to open the box of baby supplies.

“That was pretty harsh, Peter,” I hear over my shoulder.

“Yeah, well, sometimes, you need to be harsh,” I counter. As I pick up the armful of pacifiers, I smile. “But, it’s better to be lenient.”

I stoop by the drawer, and tear open the first pacifier. I give it to Derpy, who eagerly closes her mouth around the pacifier, the flat disk before the small nipple somewhat comedic against her muzzle.

“Alright, who else wants one?”

All of the ponies raise a foreleg in response.

First, Applejack and Big Mac. Big Mac closes her mouth around it, and settles down on his chest. Applejack immediately bites down on the pacifier, and turns to smile at Rainbow Dash. The cyan Pegasus crosses her forelegs and stares up at me, as if to ask where her pacifier is.

So, I give Rainbow Dash her pacifier next. The cyan Pegasus eagerly snatches it from my fingers with her mouth, and sits in front of Applejack, sucking at the nipple furiously. The orange earth pony blinks, and tries her best to match, and beat, Rainbow Dash’s rate. Within a few seconds, they have worn themselves out, and are on their sides, breathing gently in their sleep.

As they compete, I hand out the rest of the pacifiers.

Fluttershy gives the pacifier a cautionary poke, and, after a few minutes of cooing to her that it’s alright, she gently bites down on the rubber nipple. Within a few seconds, she’s gotten used to it, and is on her back, eyes closed as she sucks at the pacifier.

Celestia and Luna both accept the pacifier without hesitating. They smile up at me, and Celestia nods, ever so slightly. I scratch my chin, and wonder why she had nodded. Was it in approval? Gratitude? Well, whatever. I’ll have a lot of time to think about things like that on the trailer.

I almost don’t notice Twilight. She’s right in between Celestia and Luna, and she’s smiling up at me, her head tilted slightly to the side in curiosity. “So, you want a pacifier, Twilight?”

She nods, and I reach behind me for the next box. I extricate the pacifier, and manage to fit it in between Celestia and Luna. Twilight gratefully clamps down on the pacifier, and I ruffle her tiny mane, before moving onto the next ponies.

Vinyl Scratch, Lyra, and Octavia all try to share the same one. It takes a few tries to get them to understand that each of them needs to have their own pacifier. The first time I give them one, it’s to Lyra. Lyra eagerly takes it, and invites Octavia and Vinyl Scratch to suck on it, as well.

“No, Lyra,” I immediately reprimand her as I realize what she’s doing, “that’s bad. That’s very, very bad. You need to have your own pacifiers, okay?”

I take out two more pacifiers, and give one to Vinyl Scratch, and one to Octavia. The trio smiles, and puts their own in their mouths.

“Good,” I nod, just before they attempt to switch pacifiers.

“No, you guys,” I immediately scold. “We don’t share pacifiers, okay? You can get sick by doing that. You can share everything, but not what you bite, okay?”

Lyra, Octavia, and Vinyl Scratch frown, but put their own pacifiers back in their mouth. I take careful note of the colors, as I have no doubt that when I turn my back, they’ll switch pacifiers.

I offer a pacifier to Rarity, but she refuses, holding hoof up in derision. She obviously doesn’t like the idea of putting anything in her mouth.

“Come on, Rarity,” I coo, poking her lips with the pacifier. “For me?”

I smile at her, and she crosses her forelegs, and turns away. “Okay, your loss,” I sigh, offering the pacifier to Pinkie Pie instead.

Rarity immediately turns around, and holds out her hooves towards my hand. Pinkie Pie’s mouth is opened wide, about to chomp down on the pacifier. I pull the pacifier back, and the pink pony bites nothing but air, and lands on her chest.

“Oh, Pinkie, are you okay?” I ask, helping her up. She frowns at me, and slaps me on the hand with a hoof. “I’m taking that as a yes?”

She wags a hoof at me, as if to say “no, bad daddy!” I raise an eyebrow at her, and kiss her on the forehead. “I’ll give you a pacifier, don’t worry,” I coo as I place her down.

At this point, a high-pitched whine is building up within Rarity. She’s bouncing up and down, and is waving her hooves towards the pacifier in my hand.

“Here you go,” I coo as I pick her up in one arm, and give her the pacifier with the other. She’s about to refuse it, again, when she looks up at me, closes her eyes, and closes her mouth around the pacifier.

In about two seconds, she’s sucking on it like it’s the last source of water on the planet.

With a light chuckle, I turn to get yet another pacifier, and give this one to Pinkie Pie, who is still frowning at me.

“Hey, I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” I whisper as I give her the next pacifier. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, shove a cupcake in my eye, Pinkie Pie,” I add on. She giggles lightly, the sounds muffled by her pacifier. Before she settles down, she grabs my hand, and hugs it, rubbing the side of her face up and down against it.

When she lets go of me, I smile at her, and move on to the next, and last, pony.

Trixie.

She’s positively glaring at me.

“What’s the matter, Trixie?” I ask as I lift a pacifier to her lips. She turns her head away with a small *humph*. “What, you don’t want a pacifier?”

She shakes her head, and crosses her forelegs in denial, her lower lip trembling as she does so.

“What, does somepony need a diaper change?”

She shakes her head, and I reach out to tickle her under the chin. She, however, slaps my hand away with a hoof.

“Hey!” I scold, towering over her with a finger directed right at her face. She shrinks back, and a fear grows, deep within her eyes. “We don’t hit, okay?”

She nods, and gulps. “Good. Now, here’s your pacifier,” I say, a bit more curt than I had intended. Her legs trembling, she takes the pacifier, and immediately pops it in her mouth, tears forming at the edge of her eye as she sucks.

I frown, and gently reach for Trixie. She recoils from my touch, and her lower lip begins to quiver again, and new tears begin to form.

“Hey,” I coo, “hey, hey...What, do you think I’m going to hit you?”

She sniffs, and a few more tears form as she pulls away from my fingers.

“Hey, I’m not going to hit you,” I whisper as gently swoop her up in my arms. She looks me in the eye, and pulls her pacifier out with a hoof, the small ring fitting perfectly around the cloven.

She shakes her head in confusion, obviously asking the question: “You won’t?”

“No, Trixie,” I respond with a big smile, “I’m not going to hit you. I love you.” I hold her close, and kiss her on the side of the head, love coursing through me for this small pony.

I place Trixie down in the drawer. “I love you, Trix’,” I coo. “I’ll never hurt you.”

I turn to the rest of the ponies, and wipe away a tear. “Same goes for you guys,” I whisper. “I’ll never hurt any of you. I love you too much.”

The ponies all smile at me, and I gesture for a group hug.

Somehow, Derpy ends up on her back, on top of Rainbow Dash.

“Hey, there, Derpy,” I coo to her as I help her up. Rainbow Dash breathes a sigh of relief as she stands, the weight off of her back.

“Hey, Peter, the trailer’s here,” Charles says carefully from the bedroom doorway.

I sigh, and stand, ready to change my life completely...

Chapter 12: Departure

I lug a box outside, expecting a sleek, black trailer, just like the ones that Hollywood stars use.

What I get is a giant mover’s truck.

“Uh...The fuck?” I mutter too myself, unsure of what to make of this strange turn of events.

A man in a black, orderly suit steps out, and walks over to me as he adjusts his tie in nervous energy.

“You’re Mr. Mactylan, correct?” He asks me with a light quiver in his voice. he nods, and gestures for me to give him the box. “L-Let me take care of that for you...”

I raise an eyebrow, my suspension of disbelief through the roof. “You’re an agent from the Federal Bureau of Investigations?”

“Oh, y-yes, of course, sorry,” he says in one rapid spill of words. He produces a badge from his belt. “Agent Tratno, of the FBI,” he mumbles, gesturing for the box again. I shrug, and hand him the box of clothes, exchanging a glance with Charles, who’s been silently watching the exchange from next to me. Agent...Tratno, nods, and brings the box into the...Truck.

“Weird,” Charles mutters. “For a member of the FBI, he sure is skittish as hell...”

Tratno walks out, and wipes his hands on his pants. That’s when I notice that his palms are glistening with sweat.

“Anything else, sir?” He asks with a small gulp.

“Uh, yeah,” I hesitantly respond, “I have a few other things...And, of course, the-”

He raises a suddenly steady finger to his lips, and whispers, “not here” in a voice that is barely loud enough for me to hear over the sputtering of the engine behind him. As he lowers his hand, it returns to shaking, and I realize that his apparent panic is just some sort of act. Probably to lower suspicion.

Like I wouldn’t be suspicious of a moving man wearing a suit and an earpiece.

Anyway, I nod, and walk back inside to get my guitar, and box of art supplies. Without anything else, everything I own really fits into three boxes, total. The first box is my clothes, with a few books shoved in the bottom; the second box is my art supplies; and the third box consists of my PS3, my Wii, and my various board games. Oh, and, of course, my games for those two systems.

As I hand him my guitar and art supplies, I see that Charles is climbing into the back of the truck.

“Peter, you’ve got to see this!” He shouts. Agent Tratno grits his teeth in apparent irritation, and hastily walks over.

“Not so loud, Mr. Chuckledooken,” he hisses. I can just barely make out the words, but as soon as I hear Charles’ last name, I burst out in laughter.

“Your last name is Chuckledooken!?” I cry out incredulously. “What kinda weirdass name is that!?”

Charles rolls his eyes. “This is exactly why I never told you my last name. You’re a child.”

“I know,” I state with a shrug. “But maturity is accepting immaturity. I think. To be totally honest, I actually don’t care that much.”

Charles pinches the bridge of his nose, and helps Tratno bring the boxes and guitar case into the back of the truck. “Yeah, whatever. How about you get your video games? Oh, and your children?”

I instantly sober up. He means that I need to be more mature for my children, I immediately piece together. I nod, and go inside to pick up my box of video games.

However, when I see the game “Little Big Planet 2,” my only thought is:

Yeah, fuck that shit. I can be mature, but why would I want to be? I can not only be the ponies’ father, I can be their friend.

So, I walk outside, strutting with my box o’ games (as I have labeled it on the side with Sharpie) up to Tratno. He hands it off to Charles, and nods to me.

“Let’s get your, ah...Children,” he whispers. I nod in response, and we both enter the house, and go into my bedroom.

“Jesus...” He mutters to himself as soon as he sees them. “I knew that they were ponies, but I didn’t think they’d be...Unicorns, or...Pegasi, or...Whatever that thing is,” he says, pointing at Celestia and Luna.

“She’s not a thing,” I hiss in response. “And, besides, it’s not your concern. All you’ve got to do is make sure they’re safe.”

“Speaking of which, wait here,” he says, before leaving to get something.

While he’s gone, I gently wake each of the ponies.

“Heya, guys,” I coo. “It’s time to wake up.”

Rainbow Dash yawns as I wake her, and gives me a death stare. I poke her on the muzzle, and she flinches in surprise, and snaps at my finger with her teeth. I poke her again, and whisper, “no biting”. She rolls her eyes, and puts her head back down.

So, I tickle her wing.

With a yelp of surprise, Rainbow Dash begins to giggle, and rolls over onto her side to avoid my finger.

“Hey, everybody,” I whisper once Rainbow Dash has finally calmed down. “We’re moving today. Which means we’re leaving this place, forever.”

I have their attention now. They’re pretty damn smart, and can grasp concepts very easily.

However, this one is lost to them.

“I know that this place is your home, and this is where you’ve lived for the first day of your life, but it’s not a good place to live, okay?” I whisper, giving my knees a break as I sit. “We’ve got a fancy trailer, and we’re going to a big, open house, out in the West. It’ll be much better than here, trust me.”

The ponies still don’t understand, and this inability to understand finally pushes their intelligence over the tipping point.

Twilight begins to move her lips in an odd fashion, and I frown at her. “You okay, Twi’?” I ask. Of course, she doesn’t answer, and continues to move her lips, strange noises coming from her throat.

Now scared like holy hell, I hunch over her, and pick her up. “Twilight, just calm down, okay?” I plead, my heart hammering.

“Wh-...Whe-...Whae-...”

“Just calm down, Twilight,” I coo as I begin to rock her back and forth. “Just calm down, everything’s going to be okay...”

“Why?”

I recoil in shock. “Wh...What?”

Twilight shakes her head, and can’t suppress a victorious grin. “No. Why?”

I have to do a double take. “You...You can talk?” She nods, and I smile. “Well, look at you, little miss smarty pants! Already talking and you’re not even a day old! My little genius is what you are!”

She giggles, and I notice the resentful look on Trixie’s face. Once again, I can’t wait until they’re teenagers (God, kill me). Instead of continuing to praise Twilight, I place her down, next to Trixie, and explain to all the ponies why we’re moving.

“We have to move, because if we don’t, bad people will come and take you away,” I explain, careful to censor the more sensitive information from the young ponies. “And you don’t want that, do you?”

The ponies all shake their heads, and I reflect for a short moment on how old they really are.

Well, they can’t be babies, as Twilight just said her first word...Then again, the Baby Cakes said their first words within...What, within a day of being born? So, yeah, it seems as though ponies just mature at a faster rate than humans do...Oh, Jesus, this is going to be tough...To just have them grow up, almost immediately? I mean, granted, due to being raised by a human, they may mature just as fast as humans, but they’ll still be a bit more...Developed. Aw, what the hell am I thinking? They’re colorful ponies with magic. Logic has no place here.

I’m about to tickle all the ponies, as, well...Why not? I mean, really, do you actually need a reason to tickle a baby pony, let alone a human baby?

Anyway, I’m about to tickle them, when Agent Tratno walks back in. The first thing I hear is the clang of a cage door.

“No,” I state, before he even has a chance to tell me what to do. “I won’t put them in a cage.”

I look up, and see that he’s rolling his eyes. “Look, they’re animals, kid. Just shove them in.”

I stand, and kick the wireframe door of the cage closed. “Fuck your cage,” I growl, low enough so that the ponies won’t hear me. “They’re intelligent beings. I’ll carry them, by hand.”

Agent Tratno cracks his knuckles, and my palms are covered in sweat. “Look, shithead, if you don’t move, I’m just gonna move you, and shove the ponies in, and take them up to that house, with or without you. They’re not intelligent, they’re animals, and if they were intelligent, they’d be able to-”

He stops, and that small shine that you can see in everybody’s eyes disappears. I smile knowingly, and pat him on the shoulder. “Talk? They can. Twilight just said her first word. And, while you’re under her control, how about you go ahead and wait in the truck for me?”

He nods, picks up the cage, mumbles, “I was out of line, sorry,” and leaves. A few seconds later, he returns, and that shine has returned.

“I’m sorry, about the cage. It’s just...I’ve really been on edge, and seeing these...things isn’t exactly helping.”

I release a small *hmph.*

What, exactly, did you do to him, huh? Did you put words in his mouth?

The voice doesn’t respond to my question. Obviously, she’s not willing to reveal her secret.

“They’re not things, they’re intelligent ponies.”

He nods. “Oh, I believe you, it’s just...Strange.”

I nod in return, and he walks out of the house, leaving me to bring the ponies outside.

“Who?” Twilight immediately asks as I kneel back down by the drawer. I smile at her, and realize that, despite being able to speak, she’s not exactly able to talk. At least, not in concise sentences.

“He’s a good man,” I explain to all the ponies, “he just did a bad thing. He’s good, though.”

I smile, and the ponies smile in return. “So, are you guys ready to move? And leave this old, musty house? Forever?”

All of them nod, except for Fluttershy and Trixie. I know why Fluttershy isn’t willing; this is her comfort zone. But Trixie? Something’s got to be up.

“What’s the matter?” I coo as I reach over to pick her up. She flinches, and swats at my hand with a hoof. “Hey, don’t hit, it’s mean,” I scold. She looks up, and the fear in her eyes scares me.

“Trixie, are you afraid that I’m going to hit you? Still?”

The blue unicorn looks away, but makes a definite nod. I pick her up, and cradle her in my arms. “I’m not going to hit you, sweetie,” I coo to her. “You’re my daughter, and I love you. Why would I ever hit you?” I ask with a small smile as I kiss her on the cheek. “Now, let’s go see Uncle Charles,” I whisper as I stand. “I’ll be right back for you guys,” I declare as I leave the room. Trixie obviously doesn’t enjoy it, as she shuts her eyes tight and waits for me to hand her off to Charles. As soon as I do, she opens her eyes, and smiles up at him. I feel a stab of jealousy, but go back inside for the next pony.

Rainbow Dash seems to enjoy the ride much more. She’s absolutely fascinated by the sky, as she raises her hooves towards it, and makes poking motions. I smile, and kiss her on the forehead before handing her to Charles. I can’t help but notice the jealous glint in Trixie’s eyes.

I need to pay more attention to Trixie, I immediately decide. That’s why she doesn’t like me. I don’t pay enough attention to her. Or, at least, not as much as she would like...

I roll my shoulders, and leave to get the next pony.

Twilight takes a long time to get to the truck. Mainly because she keeps pointing at everything we pass, and I have to go over to it and let her examine it before we can move on. I have to stop to let her examine: A flower, a pebble, a window, a leaf, a shrub, and a piece of asphalt that had somehow been chipped off of the road. It isn’t that big, but it’s big enough to catch Twilight’s attention. I shake my head, knowing that she’ll immediately speak, and send Charles into hysterics.

Ugh, I can imagine it now: “Oh my God, you can talk!!” Charles is just gonna freak out...

I get the next pony, or, rather, ponies. Celestia and Luna won’t do anything apart, so I have to bring them together. Luna shies away from the sun’s rays, while Celestia basks in the short lived burst of sunshine, her ethereal mane blowing in the cosmic wind.

I wonder...Didn’t she get that ethereal mane by becoming the goddess of the sun? So, how exactly will she find her talent in this world? We have a solar system, and I’m pretty sure Christianity would be a tiny bit adverse to her...

I shrug, and hand both Luna and Celestia off to Charles. I then go back in for the next group of ponies.

Dear God, is this a struggle. Vinyl Scratch, Octavia, and Lyra won’t do anything apart, but they all want different things. Octavia wants to look at a flower, Vinyl Scratch wants to look inside the truck, and Lyra wants to escape, apparently. I end up having to sprint to the truck, for fear of Lyra just jumping out of my arms. Charles takes the three ponies very, very carefully, and I realize that I have no idea where he’s putting them.

“Where are you putting them?”

“A small play-pen,” he explains.

I raise an eyebrow, and, for the first time, examine the first few details of the truck that catch my eye. There’s a few cabinets on the right wall, and a small desk by the door. I decide to explore it as soon as I get all of the ponies inside. I go back inside, and bring out the next pony.

If Lyra is energetic, then Pinkie Pie is made of red matter. She’s literally vibrating in my arms, and it actually kind of hurts to hold her. She’s so excited at everything she sees that her facial expression is changing a million times a second, and so is the orientation of her back hooves. She keeps digging into my stomach, and I can’t help but sigh in relief as I hand her off to Charles.

Thank goodness that Applejack and Big Mac are less energetic. The two of them are actually rather indifferent to the outdoors, in all honesty. They just want to nap more. I hand them off to Charles, and he places them with the rest as I go back in to get one of the last ponies.

Rarity absolutely hates the outdoors. Well, she enjoys the fresh air, which I gather from her deep breath, but as soon as she sees dirt, she shuts her eyes tight, and waits for the bad image to fade. I raise an eyebrow as I hand her off to Charles, and she begins to pant.

“Don’t hold your breath next time,” I whisper, chuckling lightly before I go back in to get the next pony.

Fluttershy doesn’t want to leave. “Fluttershy, it’s going to be okay,” I coo to her as I hold her. We’ve only gone into the hallway of my house, and she’s already hyperventilating, and reaching for the drawer, and the grey pony that simply sits within, smiling despite herself.

“Fluttershy, I’m here. Don’t you trust me?”

She turns to me, and buries her face into my shirt. “Just be brave, Fluttershy. It’s all going to be alright. You’re going to be a-okay.”

She nods into my shirt, and I take that as a sign to leave. As soon as we leave the house, she calms down.

Why does she calm down?

Because, when I open the door, I happen to disturb a bee that had been sitting on a flower.

The bee lands on Fluttershy, and I freeze, willing the bee to leave.

If the bee stings her, she’ll never go outside again...

However, the bee wants to do anything but. Rather, it simply taps its antennae against Fluttershy’s coat, and walks around a bit, making small buzzing noises now and again.

After a few moments, the bee takes off, and I sigh in relief. Fluttershy waves to the small bug as it buzzes off, and I think I know what kind of stuffed animal I’ll buy her now...

“See? It isn’t that bad.”

Fluttershy looks up at me, and smiles. With a nod, she snuggles up to me, observing all the world has to offer.

I hand her off to Charles, and she smiles at me one last time before she’s placed with her friends.

I go back in for Derpy Hooves, and as I pick her up. She smiles just to the left of me, her working eye trained on me. I smile back, and I leave the house, when-

Derpy holds her hooves up to her eyes, and starts to whimper and whine in pain. I can only assume that her double vision has kicked in, so I sit down on the hard, concrete step, and cradle her gently, cooing comfort to her, trying my hardest to make the pain go away...

Finally, she removes her hooves, and she seems to be feeling better, even though she’s still sobbing.

Shushing her between sentences, I hold her against my body like a baby, and coo to her. “It’s going to be alright, Derpy. It’s going to be alright. We’ll have your eye fixed, I promise. It’s okay, daddy’s here, nothing’s going to hurt you...”

Finally, after a few minutes, and after repeating what I said over and over again, she calms down, and falls asleep in my arms. With a smile, I shut the door to my house, my home, and, with a small pang of fear in my gut, turn away from it, forever.

I step into the truck, and sit down next to the play pen, still cradling Derpy Hooves in my arms. I don’t bother to take my surroundings in yet, as I’m too busy thinking about the implications of her cock eye.

“We all ready?” Agent Tratno asks, holding a clipboard. I nod, and he steps in, and closes the door behind him. The lights on the roof of the interior flicker to life, and the clipboard is handed to me.

I read it over, and frown. “So, that’s all they want? Just...Regular checkups? For free? And oral examinations when they’re all able to talk? And the promise of their bodies being donated to museums, and to science? And the promise of taxpayer money? Okay, that one I’m not big on. I don’t want to take taxpayer’s money to support my children, I’m fully capable of it myself.”

Agent Tratno nods, and pulls out a pen to scratch out the small bit containing “taxpayer money will fund blah blah blahbbity blah.” I raise an eyebrow in surprise. “Really? That’s it? That’s all you need to do?”

“Well, no,” he responds as he pockets his pen. “But it’s a step in the right direction.”

I chuckle lightly, and return to the agreement. “I mean, this is all great...But what about U.S. Citizenship?”

“Read...” Agent Tratno turns the pages for me, and finally points at a small paragraph. “This.”

I clear my throat, and read aloud: “‘Once intelligence is proved, and they pass their oral exams of simple ideas and concepts, they will be permitted U.S. Citizenship. Due to being the only beings of their species on this world, blood samples will be taken on a regular basis, and used to create medicine for them.’ I’m pretty sure they can take human medicine, but, whatever, we’ll let the actual scientists take care of that, right? ‘Refer to...’ Yeah, no, I’m not referring to that. Well, this all seems good...”

Tratno hands me his pen with an amiable smile.

Whatever you did made him much more likable...

The voice doesn’t answer. I begin to wonder if I’ve been imagining things, but I instantly disregard that.

“So, will you sign?”

I take the pen, and read the agreement one last time, just to make sure I didn’t miss anything, like that paragraph on citizenship.

“Yes,” I finally sigh. “I’ll sign it.”

As soon as I sign it, Tratno gets up, and knocks on the wall of the truck. With a shudder, the truck begins to move, and the ponies look up at me in panic.

“Don’t worry, guys, it’s just a truck,” I coo to them.

I sigh, as I wish I could believe it.

Instead, this is the beginning of a new life.

I’m departing my old life, and entering a new one. A life I don’t understand, and probably never will.

And the ponies are just beginning theirs. And it’s my job to make sure that those lives go smoothly, and in a happy fashion.

Boy, am I going to love this job.

Chapter 13: Road Trip

I yawn, and adjust my seating on the hard floor. I let my hand droop into the play pen, (which only holds a few of the ponies,) and smile at Twilight, who’s sitting on Charles’ lap, next to me.

“Yes, you are a smart little pony!” He coos to her. “Yes, you are!”

“Yep!” She pips in return. I chuckle lightly, and scratch Trixie behind the ear, the blue unicorn sighing contentedly in my lap.

“I love you, ‘Trix,” I whisper to her, kissing her on the side of the head. She rubs her head against my chin, and smiles up at me. I yawn into my shoulder once again, as the day is finally catching up to me...

“I can’t believe this,” I mutter. Charles looks up from Twilight for a second to throw me a questioning glance. “What do you mean, you don’t believe this?”

“I mean...The ponies, the new house, the FBI working with us, when technically I thought it would be the CIA, but, okay, and just today in general...It’s all so...”

“Fast?” Charles suggests. I nod in return, and smile as Fluttershy decides my hand is an excellent place to take a nap.

I look around at the room, and smile despite myself.

The orderly, stacked boxes have been opened, and there are socks everywhere. Rainbow Dash has one on her tail as she darts around, Derpy is throwing them around and chewing on a select few, Big Mac and Applejack are sleeping in the supplied crib with a sock around them, (the sock was wrapped around them when I picked them up, and I didn’t want to wake them up, so, yeah.) Vinyl Scratch, Octavia, and Lyra are all asleep in the supplied crib as well, and so is Rarity. Pinkie Pie is happily bouncing around with no rhyme or reason, and Celestia and Luna are both atop a small mountain of socks, which I had just poured onto the floor. They’re ensuring that only a certain amount of socks are taken out of the pile at a time, and it gives them something to do. And, it proves that they can count. And clean up after others, and themselves.

And that they’re overall geniuses.

I look up to the sleek countertop, where there are fourteen bottles, each with a label on it to designate which pony uses it. Thirteen of them have been recently used, which I know since I just finished feeding the ponies, but one of them hasn’t. I gave Twilight hay for the first time.

It was rather funny, really. Giving Twilight the hay, that is. She kept pushing it all away, even though she had only had milk once. I had assumed that weaning would be easy under such conditions, but I was wrong. She ended up almost on the verge of tears, and had opened her mouth wide to cry. As soon as she had, I put the hay on her tongue. At first, she pulled back, but she immediately came back for more, and happily chewed the hay I gave her.

Now, she’s giggling in delight as Charles lifts her up over his head, and holds her there for a little while.

I look over to the diapers on the floor by my side. I just changed every one of the ponies, consecutively, and we somehow managed to dispose of the used diapers. Agent Tratno just took the bag out, and dumped it in some local dumpster. Not exactly eco-friendly, but necessary.

And, at last, I look over to the television set, up against the mahogany wall. Dear God, this trailer rocks. My PS3 is hooked up to it, and so is my old VCR. I have a few nostalgic movies and T.V. shows from my childhood set aside for the ponies, so I’m pretty much set. And, even though I’m not a nineties kid, I think it’s about time I admit something kind of embarrassing.

In nineteen ninety eight, when I was about fifteen years old, I helped with a lot of babysitting. The kids I had to sit were about a year or so old, and were constantly watching television.

And, here’s the embarrassing bit.

I’m pretty sure I enjoyed the kid’s shows more than they did. Despite being fifteen.

Which only serves to prove what Charles had said: I’m really just a child at heart. Always have been, always will be.

Oh, but I hated the “Telletubbies”. Just pointing that out.

But I freakin’ loved “Oobi”. That show was the SHIT. I mean, they just put together a few hand puppets and made it entertaining! And that theme song will stay with me forever.

“Oobi’s...My name...” I coo to Trixie, without even realizing what I’m doing. “Oobi’s...My name!”

“Peter, what in the hell are you doing?” Charles asks, fighting hard to hold back a fit of laughter.

“Just singing to Trixie,” I immediately cover up, blushing lightly.

“Was that the Oobi themesong?” He asks.

“Yes,” I sigh. “Yes, it’s the Oobi themesong...”

Charles starts cracking up, and Twilight giggles along. “Twilight, your father’s a little man-child!” He coos to her. She immediately stops laughing, and frowns at him. “No,” she states. Charles raises an eyebrow, and looks over at me as I grin victoriously. “Looks like I win, Charles.”

He grunts, and returns to playing with Twilight. “He vins, Twilight von Sparkledon. He vins...Zis time.” Twilight giggles lightly, and I smile at the two.

I look down at Trixie and Fluttershy, and decide it’s time for them to be in the crib. I stand, carefully balancing Fluttershy in one hand and Trixie in the other, before I bring them together and cradle them in my arms. I slowly and carefully make my way over to the crib, avoiding Rainbow Dash as she trots by. I place both the little ponies down in the crib, side by side, and turn to see that, to my surprise, Derpy has fallen asleep, sock still in her mouth as she snores lightly. I smile, and gently pick her up, and place her down in the crib.

“Hey, could you put Twilight in there, too?” Charles pipes up. I nod, and take the sleeping unicorn from his arms. “Thanks,” he whispers as I place Twilight down in the crib, as well.

I look around, at the sleek glass tabletop in the center of the room, by the playpen; the chromed refrigerator in the corner; the small, bedside table where I have my laptop, Skyrim frozen on its screen in the pause menu, the volume turned off; the plasma screen television that is barely a bump in the wall, it’s so damn thin; and the sleeping, blue Pegasus in the corner.

With a small smile, I pick up Rainbow Dash, and carry her over to the crib. I place her down, right by Derpy. As I draw back, Derpy Hooves somehow senses the cyan Pegasus’ presence, and immediately presses up against her, snuggling with the blue filly in her sleep. I smile, and turn, to see Pinkie Pie do at least a five foot jump, right into my arms.

“Oh,” I whisper to the pink pony, who I’m cradling in my arms, the sock in her mouth slapping me on the chest as she tosses her head from side to side in a playful manner. “I can see that somebody wanted to be held...”

She nods, and snuggles up against me. I rock her gently, and, within a few minutes, she has (miraculously) fallen asleep. I place her down in the crib, and as soon as I remove my hands from her sides, the pink pony’s blue eyes flash open, and she reaches out for me.

With a light chuckle, I rock Pinkie Pie to sleep again.

When I place her down in the crib, and remove my hands, her eyes shoot open once more.

We repeat this process of sleeping then waking three more times, until I finally get it.

“Ohhhh,” I whisper. “You won’t sleep unless I’m holding you...”

She rolls her eyes, and nods in matter-of-factly.

“Well, let me just put Celestia and Luna in here first,” I whisper, hands on my knees as I stoop down to make eye contact with her. “Then, I’ll hold you all you want.”

I look at the time on my phone. It’s already seven, PM. I look over to Celestia and Luna, who are diligently maintaining the mountain of socks.

“Okay, you to,” I coo to them as I kneel by Mount Sockerest, “time to go to bed!”

The both of them fully understand what I say, and pout at me as I say it. Celestia paws at one of the socks with a hoof, and looks up at me with the cutest eyes I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

“No, Celestia,” I whisper, poking her on the muzzle. “All the little ponies need to go to sleep. Even you.”

Celestia sighs, and nods to me. I pick her up, and go for Luna.

My hand is immediately smacked away by a blue hoof.

“Hey!” I whisper menacingly. Luna shrinks back slightly, but keeps staring at me in indignation. “We do not hit, do you understand me?” I whisper to her. Celestia squirms in my arm, and sticks her tongue out at the blue alicorn on the mountain. “And we don’t mock,” I whisper to Celestia, equally as menacingly. She crosses her front legs, and Luna points her tongue out at her sister. “That goes for you, too, Luna,” I whisper to the alicorn. She crosses her front hooves, and sits back on the mountain in resignation.

I scoop her up, and hold her close to Celestia, and rock them both back and forth. They keep their frowns on, and their front legs crossed, simply refusing to lighten up for me.

“Fine, then,” I whisper. I put them back down on the sock mountain. “You two can sleep on that tonight.”

They immediately soften up, and poke and prod at the sock mountain that has, unfortunately, become their bed. They shoot a wistful glance at the crib, and the sleeping ponies, (except for Pinkie Pie, who’s adamantly watching on,) and finally look back to me, small frowns of guilt on their faces.

“Are you two going to cooperate?” I ask. They nod, and I pick them up with a smile, kissing them both on the muzzle. “Good,” I coo. “Time for beddy-bye,” I whisper as I begin to rock them back and forth. Their eyes remain trained on my nose, and they slowly begin to fall asleep.

As soon as they have, I carry them over to the crib, and place them down on the soft, plush bedding inside. I then pick up Pinkie Pie, who’s positively beaming at me. “Now, time for you to go to sleep, Pink one,” I coo to her with a grin. She grins back, and I lay down on the small bed in the corner, one of four. I can only assume that the fourth bed is for the driver.

“Nighty-night, my sweet Pinkie,” I coo to the pink pony in a sing-song voice, not caring what neither Charles nor Agent Tratno think of the lullaby. “May your sle~ep be restful, may your e~yes now close, may you have good dreams Pinkie, may your nightmares explode.”

She giggles up at me, and I remain on my back as she snuggles up on my chest. Within a few minutes, she’s flat out on her stomach, and is breathing gently in her sleep. I take a deep breath, and close my eyes, too.

“Uh, Peter? You’re not going to have dinner?” Charles whispers to me. I keep my eyes closed, and whisper back, “spoon feed me, bitch.”

“In your dreams,” he chuckles. I hear him walk away, and hear another man walk up to me, whose smooth, calm voice I immediately identify as Agent Tratno.

“May I say, you’re doing a fine job with your ponies,” he whispers to me. “But to not have dinner?”

“I ain’t hungry, foo’,” I whisper back, stroking Pinkie’s unruly mane.

“Sure you’re not,” Tratno responds. “Sure you’re not.”

To be totally honest...

I could eat a damn cow right about now.

But, alas, my children must sleep, and for Pinkie to sleep, I have to skip my dinner.

Frowny face.

I take a deep breath, and chuckle lightly to myself.

Weirdest. Day. Ever.

The sound of crying penetrates my sleep.

“Peter,” a voice urgently echoes.

I grunt, and turn my head away from the light above me.

“Peter, something’s wrong with Derpy,” the voice urges me again, and I feel someone push at my shoulder.

Derpy? What in the fuck is this guy talking abo-

I bolt upright, my eyes wide open as I see Charles, holding Pinkie by my bedside. I look over to the crib, and see that Derpy is rubbing her eyes, and is continuously crying.

“Papa!” She cries. I smile for a split second.

Her first word...

However, I don’t have long to dwell on that. I roll out of bed, and hurry over to the crib. Agent Tratno’s snoring is the only thing to contest with the grey filly’s squeals of pain.

“Papa! Papa!” She cries again. I instantly reach down, and pick her up, cradling her against my body as I rock her back and forth, shushing her as I comfort her.

“Shhhh, it’s okay, daddy’s here, Derpy. Daddy’s here, papa’s here.”

I gulp, as it sends a shiver through my spine to see Derpy in so much pain. She removes her hooves from her eyes, and slowly opens them.

Or, rather, slowly opens one. “Papa?” She asks, sniffling up at me.

“Yes, honey. Papa,” I coo to her, kissing her on the forehead as she opens her other eye.

Obviously, her split vision is too much for her, as she instantly closes the lid that covers her immobile eye, and begins to moan in pain once more.

“Papa...” She whimpers as she curls up against me, pressing her muzzle into my shirt. “Papa...”

“I know, honey, papa’s here, don’t worry,” I whisper to her as I cradle her against my chest, letting her feel the warmth and rhythm of my heart thrumming inside me. “Papa’s here, and the pain’s going to go away soon, don’t you worry one bit...I’ll get your eye fixed, I promise, it’s only a matter of time. Shush, Derpy, daddy’s here, and he’s going to make everything better...”

Of course, all I can really do is make her feel better, which silently and slowly tears me apart inside. The fact that I can’t directly do anything to actually make her better in general is a daunting, and horrifying, thing for me to accept.

She sniffles again, and I walk over to my bed, and sit down, eyes closed as I cradle her. “Shush, papa’s here...”

Just then, Agent Tratno gives a rather bravado snore as he awakes. “What’d I miss?” He mumbles as he sees me, with Derpy in my arms.

“Her double vision kicked in,” I explain. “She was crying from the pain. Lucky that she didn’t upset any of the other ponies,” I muse, as I look over to the ponies in the crib. They’re really just looking on in sympathy. Well, most of them. Fluttershy (of all ponies!) snorts derisively, and turns away from the grey filly and I, obviously apathetic to her sister’s condition.

I stand, and walk over, frowning at the yellow Pegasus as I kneel in front of the crib.

“Fluttershy, that was very mean,” I scold her. “I didn’t expect you to be so mean,” I continue. She shrinks back, and Rainbow Dash nods, walking over to stand by her side and stare her down. “I know you’re just a baby, but you have the mind of a toddler, or even older. You guys are much smarter than you look. I know that what you do isn’t just mindless shenanigans, you mean what you do, and you know the implications of it. I know that you knew doing that would be mean, and you did it for a reason. I don’t want to ever see anything like that from you again, ever.”

Fluttershy’s lower lip begins to quiver, and she, too, forces out her first word. “S...S...S...Sowy,” she whispers, her “r” slurred by her under-developed lips.

“Aw, Fluttershy,” I coo, frowning in guilt. “I’m sorry. You’re too young for me to yell at you, Flutters. And, hey, you just had your first word!” She picks up at that, and smiles gently. “You should be proud of yourself!”

She nods, and Rainbow Dash pouts. “Now, come on, and apologize to Derpy.”

With another nod, and a small smile, she slowly makes her way over to the wooden bars of the crib, and kneels down by Derpy. “Sowy,” she whispers through the bars to the grey filly. Derpy Hooves simply nods, and keeps a hoof pressed to her left eye.

“Good,” I whisper to them. “I’m proud of you, Fluttershy. You’re a good little pony,” I coo, trying to make up for my reprimanding her earlier as I tickle her under the chin. She smiles, and nuzzles the tip of my finger.

“Sowy,” she repeats. I reckon that “sorry” is the only word in her vocabulary at the moment, so there’s really no other word she can use to convey ideas to me. I smile, and withdraw my finger, and look up at Agent Tratno.

“Is there anywhere we can get a small eyepatch for Derpy?” I ask as I stand, and make my way over to Tratno, Derpy sucking silently on my thumb, both of her eyes shut. Tratno knocks on the wall of the truck/hotel, and we immediately pull to a stop.

Within a few minutes, blinding early morning light is let into the room, and a rather portly man is illuminated to us, his small beard accentuating his equally dark mullet of hair. “What is it, boss?” He asks, scratching at his chin with a surprisingly muscled arm and firm hand.

“I need to know if there’s a store where we can get an eyepatch around,” Tratno requests. The man nods, and is about to pull the hatch back down, when the Agent holds up a finger. “But, wait, pull the truck over first,” he calls out. The driver nods, and rubs his red, puffy, sleep-deprived eyes as he pulls the cover closed.

“Shouldn’t he get some sleep?” I ask as the truck starts up again.

“No, it’s just allergies,” Agent Tratno explains to me as he holds his arms out to Charles for the pink pony in his arms. Pinkie eagerly leaps into the Agent’s arms, curious as to who this newcomer is. He can’t help but release a small “awwwww”.

Then again, who can?

“So, who drives when he sleeps?” I ask as the truck comes to a stop, and the sound of a truck door slamming shut reverberates through the wall. “Oh, and why didn’t he freak out about the ponies?”

“First off, his name is Ryan,” Agent Tratno drones. “And the man who drives for him is named Sheldon. Not very truck-driverish names, but, they’re just names. They sleep in the passenger’s seat. And they were both told that the ponies were a genetic experiment, and that they’re not to be questioned, or spoken, about.”

I nod, and make my way over to the couch before the television set.

“When he gets back with your eyepatch,” I whisper to Derpy, “we can stop your double vision from hurting so much, and you can watch some television!”

She nods, and smiles up at me as if nothing had happened. I shake my head in wonder, and turn back to the crib, where Rainbow Dash is-

“Rainbow Dash!” I exclaim, shocking Charles and Tratno out of their discussion. I set Derpy down on the couch, quickly make a small pillow fortress around her to ensure she doesn’t fall off, and walk over to the crib, where Rainbow Dash is trying her best to scale the side of the crib, pulling herself upwards with her wings, (which she has wrapped around the thin pole,) and keeping her traction with her hooves.

“No, Rainbow Dash!” I reprimand as I pick her up, and place her back down in the crib. Pouting, she crosses her front legs. “Don’t do that, honey, you could get hurt,” I coo to her. She flexes her wings, and shakes them a bit to display that she can fly. “You can fly, but you’re not exactly a grown pony! You can’t just fly whenever you want, Dashie! You need to rest; you’re only a little baby!”

She frowns up at me, and, with a sigh, I pick her up. “You really know how to play to my guilt, you little miscreant,” I coo to her, using “miscreant” as a positive term for the first time in my life. She smiles up at me, and flexes her wings as I place her down in the playpen. “We’re going to watch a movie soon, so don’t do anything...Dumb,” I coo to her. She nods to me, and immediately tries to jump over the playpen’s gate.

She lands flat on her face on the other side.

“Rainbow Dash, are you okay!?” I exclaim as I pick her up. She rubs her forehead, and looks up at me with an air of complete innocence. I smile at her, and kiss her on the forehead. “Of course you are. You’re my little tank.”

She nods, and yawns, wide and long.

Just then, the door the truck/hotel opens, and Ryan walks in, a package from a party store clutched in his fist. “Lucky we stopped off in a town,” he grumbles as he hands me the eyepatch. “Good luck.”

With that, he walks out, closes the door, and, within a few seconds, the truck starts up again.

“Well, that was...Polite,” I mumble to myself. I rip open the packaging, throw it in the garbage, and walk over to Derpy.

“Derpy, I have a gift for you!” I coo. She looks up at me, just as Rainbow Dash jumps onto the couch, and then off of the back, gliding for a short time before she crash-lands into the sock mountain, sending socks flying everywhere.

I quickly wrap the eyepatch around Derpy’s head, and make sure it’s comfortable over her lazy eye. “Papa,” she states warmly with a small smile.

I nod, and kiss her on the forehead. “Yep, I’m papa. Now, let’s watch a movie, while I get everybody’s breakfast ready.”

I walk over to the destroyed pile of socks, and immediately hear Celestia and Luna whining behind me in grunts and exclamations of dissent. I first dig Rainbow Dash out of the mess, who looks up at me in complete innocence, and place her on the couch, before I pick up Celestia and Luna, and let them go about the work of reorganizing their glorious Mount Sockmore. I chuckle lightly to myself, and put all of the ponies on the couch, and quickly have Charles and Agent Tratno help me prepare the breakfast.

“Twilight and Fluttershy get solids,” I state. “But Derpy gets milk, even though she can talk now. I doubt that she’s, ah...Able, to handle solids yet. Give both Fluttershy and Twilight oats, Charles.”

“On it, Pete.”

“Agent, just hand me the bottles. I’ll feed the ponies, and so will Charles. You can feed a few, if you’d like,” I offer as I take the first two filled bottles, which belong to Applejack and Big Mac. I immediately kneel down in front of the couch, and pop the bottles into their respective mouths. They eagerly suck at the nipples, and eventually push the bottle away from themselves. Big Mac lets his head rest on the couch, and closes his eyes for a quick nap. “Lazy bugger,” I coo as I replace the bottles on the counter.

“Can I feed the pink one?” Agent Tratno finally asks. “Sure,” I respond, handing him the bottle with “P.P.” written on it in Sharpie. “I’ll get her. Pinkie Pie?”

The pink pony immediately pops up over the back of the couch, and I pick her up, and hand her to Agent Tratno. “She’ll want more, but don’t give it to her, okay?”

“Sure, Mr. Mactylan.”

“Please, call me Peter.”

“Uh, okay, Peter...”

I nod, and pick up three bottles at once. “Charles, help me feed Vinyl Scratch, Octavia, and Lyra?”

He nods. “Just let me finish with Rarity...”

I look over, and see Rarity, slowly and carefully sucking at the plastic nipple, waiting a few seconds between each suckle, so that she can swallow the milk before any more enters her mouth. I smile, and give her a little thumbs-up for her good manners.

After a few seconds, Charles walks over, and I hand him Octavia’s bottle.

Lyra immediately hops up as she sees the bottles, and a huge grin spreads over her lips. “Hey, Lyra. I can see you’re eager for breakfast,” I coo, as I put the plastic nipple near her mouth. She eagerly clamps down on it, and suckles away like a madpony. I turn to Vinyl Scratch, and do the same. She’s a bit more gentle with the bottle, and finishes a bit later than Lyra. Both of them smile up at me, and I kiss the both of them on the muzzle. “My little neon ponies,” I whisper with a chuckle, just as Octavia finishes her bottle of milk.

Pinkie Pie unexpectedly plops down on the couch, and I recoil a tiny bit. “Oh, hi. Nice of you to drop in.”

With a shriek of laughter, she claps her hooves at the joke. I look up at Agent Tratno, who has the most amazed, yet horrified, look on his face that I have ever seen.

“You okay?” I immediately ask.

“She...Jumped. About three feet, vertically, and right into that couch...That...That’s not possible...”

“It’s Pinkie Pie,” I say with a shrug. “She can break physics.”

Shivering, he nods, and I place down the bottles, and pick up the two that belong to Celestia and Luna.

Celestia pushes the bottle away at first, and I wait for her to finish her section of the sock mountain. Luna, however, is more than willing to take a small break.

After Luna has had her fill, I give it to Celestia, who gladly has some milk, now that she has finished her project.

Once they’ve both been fed, and they’ve both finished their sides of Mount Sockmore, I pick them up, and place them on the couch, just behind Twilight Sparkle, who’s having oats handed to her by Charles.

I take a handful of oats, and start hand-feeding Fluttershy. She’s timid at first, and obviously wants her bottle, but finally cedes as I press it closer and closer to her mouth. She immediately takes a liking to it, and opens her mouth for more.

Next, I feed Rainbow Dash. She’s fidgeting on the couch, but the milk I give her manages to calm her a bit. She closes her eyes as I tilt the bottle upwards, and allow her to suckle the milk out of the bottle. She quickly pushes it away, and starts fidgeting again, staring at the television screen. I bend at the knees, and kiss her on the nose...

Just before she burps, right in my face.

“Augh, Rainbow Dash!” I exclaim, reeling back with a bout of laughter. She explodes in giggles, as well, and I ruffle her mane before setting off to pick up Derpy’s filled bottle.

I look over to Charles, and see him feeding Trixie. I smile, and give Derpy the bottle. She gladly accepts it, and as she suckles the milk from the bottle, I adjust her eyepatch, to ensure that her entire eye is covered by the black fabric.

Finally, the feeding is done, and I can have my breakfast. I reach into the mahogany cupboard, and pull out a box of Cheerios. I poor it into a bowl, saturate it with milk, and shove a spoon in.

Happily munching on my Cheerios, I set them down on the table in front of the couch, and walk over to the VCR and television. The first thing I see is an old tape of “Thomas the Tank Engine.” I smile at it, as it brings back memories of when I had to babysit those two little kids...But now, I get to watch it with children of my own.

I pop it in, and lower the volume enough so that it won’t hurt their tiny ears. Before I sit down to watch it with them, I see Agent Tratno gesturing for me to walk over to him.

“While the ponies are occupied,” he whispers, “we need to discuss a small bit of...Business.

“We’ve stopped your transaction, for that new house. Instead, we’ve seized a house. No, nobody was actually living in it, and yes, it is rather isolated. However, your promise to send them to school was not forgotten, Mr. Mactylan. It’s just on the outskirts of Wichita.”

I raise an eyebrow. “What in the hell is Wichita?”

“It’s the largest city in Kansas,” Agent Tratno explains. “Large enough to have its own skyline.”

I shake my head in dissent. “No, nonono. That’s ridiculous, how am I supposed to remain incognito with a huge city nearby?” I have to raise my voice ever so slightly, as the old episodes have started on the tape.

“It’s pretty out of the way,” he explains. “About ten miles away.”

I rub my forehead. “Whatever. We’ll talk more about it when we get there. Right now, I need to be with my kids.” And with that, I stand, and walk away, bringing another spoonful of Cheerios up to my mouth as I sit on the floor by the couch, and observe the ponies’ reactions carefully.

Pinkie Pie is surprisingly calm. She simply sits there, and watches the trains...Talk, and the various events unfold without any qualm.

Twilight is scratching her forehead. She obviously doesn’t understand the concept of a child’s show, and is already searching for any logic in the course of the show. (She won’t find any.)

Celestia and Luna are carefully observing the television screen for any hint of...I really don’t know. But their eyes betray how much thought they’re putting into what they’re seeing.

Rainbow Dash is lying on her back, her cyan wings outstretched to give her balance. She pokes at the air every few seconds, undoubtedly trying to poke the upside down trains that flicker across the screen.

Applejack is, for the most part, enjoying herself. However, she occasionally has to push Big Mac off of herself, as the red colt is trying to find the most comfortable way to sleep. A few times, he apparently mistakes his sister as a pillow, as he constantly leans on her, despite her continual protest.

Rarity is sitting on top of a pillow, and is turned away from the trains, as if they’re nothing but dirt. I poke at her, and she pouts at me, as if to say “what is this garbage?” I frown, and decide that maybe she’ll enjoy “101 Dalmations” just a little bit more...

Fluttershy is somewhat scared of the trains, as she’s withdrawn under one of the pillows surrounding Derpy Hooves, and is watching carefully from underneath. I reach in, and gently attempt to pull her out. As I do, she frowns in protest, which is when I realize: She wasn’t scared of the trains, she was genuinely enjoying watching them from under the pillow. I smile, and let her crawl back under. She smiles back up at me, and fixes her attention on the television once more.

Trixie is watching the colorful, talking trains with an air of incredulity. Just like Twilight, she’s attempting to find any reason or will to this show. Hopefully, she likes “Mary Poppins” better...

Vinyl Scratch and Lyra are rather bored, but Octavia is watching on in interest. Vinyl Scratch yawns, and turns over onto her belly to catch a quick nap.

Derpy Hooves just smiles as she stares up at the television screen, her eye patch hopefully stopping her double vision from kicking in and causing her any pain. She occasionally pokes and prods at it, but she doesn’t seem to mind it at all. In all honesty, she just smiles at everything, except for the pain her double vision can cause her.

I turn back to the television, and suddenly feel the urge to change what’s playing. Not only because it’s actually quite painful to experience such nostalgia, but the ponies are starting to seem genuinely bored by it. Even Pinkie Pie has turned away from the slow-moving trains, and is looking around for something to do.

“Hold on, guys,” I say with a smile. “I have something better.”

I press the Eject button on my VCR, place the old tape back in its box, and reach for the next one: “The Sound of Music,” I explain as I hold up the movie for them to see. I pop it into the VCR, and sit down, an eager smile on my face.

I can only hope that it’s as amazing and fun as I remember it to be...

To my delight, (and the delight of the ponies,) it’s that, and even more.

Because now, I can show it to my own children. Which makes it all the better.

When “The Saints Go Marching In” has been playing for about a minute or so, a few of the ponies begin to hum along. They’re obviously enjoying the carefree, light-hearted movie much more than the slow-paced world of talking trains. I hum along as well, and smile with reckless abandon.

A little while later, when “Do Re Mi” comes on, I can’t help but giggle along with the ponies in giddy happiness. Lord knows, I haven’t watched this movie in ages, and it feels great to see it flashing on my screen again...But, to be totally honest, it kinda hurts to watch it again. I mean, not like “fuck this sucks”, but it’s just that it makes me remember when I had been a child, and of my parents, and of my sister...

To remind myself that I have much more in my life than I ever did, I look over to Octavia, Vinyl Scratch, and Lyra. Lyra is smiling wide, Octavia is nodding along to the music, and Vinyl Scratch is giggling lightly.

Celestia and Luna are lying down, and are humming along to the music.

Twilight is humming along to the notes as well, and so is Rarity.

Pinkie Pie is bouncing up and down, and is constantly giggling as the song courses through the air.

Applejack and Big Mac are smiling gently, and the both of them look plum tired. That, or just lazy.

Rainbow Dash is smiling a huge smile, and her tiny white teeth are showing as she bobs her head along to the music.

Trixie is humming, which I notice just now.

Fluttershy is still under the pillow, but her entire head is poking out now as she watches the movie with her siblings.

Derpy Hooves is just smiling along, enjoying herself for all it’s worth.

Lastly, Rarity is smiling at the screen, and evidently isn’t disgusted by anything, even the fact that the characters are sitting in a field as they sing.

I smile, and look back to screen.

All too soon, the credits are rolling, and the ponies all pout, and sigh. They seem to want more.

And, strangely enough, so do I.

“Don’t worry,” I say with a smile. “We still have Mary Poppins!” I instantly pop the tape into my VCR, and sit down, fidgeting in anticipation. I simply can’t wait to see how the ponies react to it...

Oh, dear God, why...

Why did I have to show them Mary Poppins?

They loved it.

Celestia and Luna hummed along to almost all the songs, Rarity was in love with the elegant house, Derpy...Well, she just smiles at everything. Well, anyway, all the ponies kinda just giggled, and loved the movie.

However, now, I can’t get Pinkie Pie to stop screaming

“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!” She squeals, jumping from the couch to the floor, and from the floor to my head, and from my head to the couch, and from the couch to the table, and then squeals out something else from the song. “Suoicodilaipxecitsiligarfilacrepus!”

“Uh, first word much?” Charles bursts out in a fit of laughter, catching Pinkie Pie as she jumps in front of him, on the table. There’s cereal all over her mane, as I hadn’t finished my cereal, and had just placed it on the coffee table between the television set and the couch.

She had jumped right into it with her first exclamation of “supercalafragilisticexpialodocious”.

I walk over, and take her from Charles’ arms, and kiss her on the forehead. “Well, look who’s a little smarty!” I coo to her. “And look who’s also all messy! Looks like you need a bath!”

Pinkie Pie frowns at me, and shakes herself in my arms. Immediately, the Cheerios are flung out of her pink mane, and all over the floor.

“Or...Not,” I mutter, confused and amazed. I shake my head at the hyper pony, and turn to face the other ponies, who are still on the couch.

And all of them have passed out.

Even Rainbow Dash, after having fidgeted for the entirety of the two movies, had decided to call it a day.

I smile, and give Pinkie Pie to Charles. “Hold her for me,” I demand. He simply raises an eyebrow, and cradles Pinkie in his arms. “Gladly.”

I move over to the couch, and lean on the back of it, looking down on the sleeping ponies. They all seem to be so happy, so content, so...Sleepy. Especially Big Mag. That lazy bugger...

I pick up each of the ponies, gently and carefully, and put them back in the crib. When I’m done with that, I sit down at the small table with a hefty sigh.

“Hard work, huh?” Tratno asks with a smile, as Charles snores away on the chair next to me. I nod, and gesture towards him, and Tratno smiles knowingly. “Charles clocked out about a half hour ago. Just, out of nowhere, leaned back and fell asleep.”

I smile mischievously, and press my toe onto the leg of his chair. I push it back, slowly, until it starts to fall.

“SHIT!” He shouts out as he wheels his arms to retain his balance. He finally does, and he sits upright as I snort in laughter. “Aw, screw you, Peter...”

“What’s ‘shit’?”

My heart stops. I look to my left, and see Twilight up against the bars of the crib, an inquisitive look on her face.

I walk over, and crouch down next to the crib. “It’s a very, very bad word, Twilight Sparkle,” I whisper sternly. “And you will never, ever use it again, okay? No matter how many times Charles or I may use it, you can never, ever use it. It’s a very, very bad word.”

Twilight nods, and sits down with an air of confusion. Just then, Pinkie Pie jumps into my lap, and rams her head into my gut. Oddly enough, her mane feels more like a ton of bricks being pile-driven into my stomach, and I’m winded for a moment. “Pinkie-? Why?”

Pinkie Pie frowns up at me, and points to the chair Charles is sitting on, Charles’ lap, my foot, the floor, her head, the floor, and then to my lap. Her crazy pointing episode leaves her forelegs wrapped around her muzzle like small pieces of pink string, and they wind back into place with a small zip. I blink in confusion for a few moments, and Pinkie Pie sighs in exasperation, instead acting out what had occurred.

She jumps onto Charles’ lap, ignoring his grunt of pain as her hoof descends into a rather unfortunate area, then reenacts Charles losing his balance, then jumps to the floor in a crazy fashion that ends up with her bonking her head on the wood, and lying flat out on her stomach. Finally, it hits me.

“Ohh, when I tipped over Charles’ chair, you fell onto the floor!” I exclaim in pride, feeling rather like an idiot. Pinkie Pie simply raises an eyebrow, presses her hoof to her face, then looks back up to me and holds up a sign that says “Ya don’t say?” on it.

“Where did you get that sign?” I ask, pointing at the three words. The sign quickly disappears, and Pinkie Pie looks up at me in innocence, shrugging and asking “What sign?” in her adorably high pitched voice.

“You can talk, too?” I immediately ask.

“What,” Pinkie (oddly enough) states.

“I said,” I begin, repeating myself, “you can talk, too?”

“Sign,” Pinkie chirps.

“No, I asked if you can talk, too.”

“Sign, what?”

“No, I asked if you can talk, silly!”

“Sign!”

Charles sighs, and leans towards me. “I think she only knows how to say ‘what’ and ‘sign’, genius.”

I immediately blush, and nod. “I knew that.”

Charles smirks, and nods. “Sure you did.”

I roll my eyes, and look over to Tratno. “So, how much longer ‘till we’re there? I need to see where this house is...”

Tratno shrugs. “Anywhere from-”

Just as Tratno begins to speak, I feel myself lean to the side slightly as the truck pulls to a stop. The large door on the back of the truck opens, and a man I haven’t met yet – I decide it must be Sheldon, the substitute truck driver – beckons to us. “Come on, we’re here,” he mutters, throwing quick glances at the pink pony on the floor, and the various ponies in the crib. I nod, and raise an eyebrow at the agent next to me. “You were saying?”

He sighs, and gestures for me to begin unpacking my stuff, and the ponies. I look down to where Pinkie Pie was, and I notice that she’s disappeared.

“Oh, shit,” I mutter, instantly assuming that she had scampered off, and perhaps even ran out of the truck. I hurry to the edge of the truck, and notice a bunch of trees surrounding the exit, and a far-off sky scraper. I look around frantically, my palms and forehead perspiring like crazy as I search for that pink little pony...

“Uh, Peter? You okay?” I hear Charles ask.

“No!” I immediately respond without turning around. “Pinkie’s gone!”

“No, she’s right here, in my arms,” he says in a strange tone of voice. I turn, and sigh in relief as I see the pink baby in his arms give me a rather disappointed glare, and I sigh. “I knew that,” I mutter. Both she and Charles nod in unison, and Charles says “uh-huh.”

With a small chuckle, I go back to the crib, and I begin the long task of moving all of the ponies into the new home.

Chapter 14: Settled In

I smile as I hold the doorknob, looking back at the cribs and the babies they contain. They're sleeping soundly, and have finally settled into this new home.

It's been three weeks since the "Big Move", as Twilight has taken to calling it. At first, I felt bad for taking away a museum from Kansas, especially when it is a plantation that is so rich in history. I mean, the cellar is full of old tools, documents, images, newspaper clippings, and more. I just felt really bad that I had taken such a beautiful, lucrative museum as my home. But, my misgivings were qualm when I found out why it was shut down: the Klu Klux Klan had gained wind about the strong bias against slavery in this museum. So, when it was opened the next day, a tableau was waiting in the form of a man lynched in a tree. A plaque was set in the ground in his memory, and the members of the Klan that had performed the act were found and arrested. The museum was then forced to be shut down due to racial and political controversy.

So, it is now the home of fourteen ponies. Which means I have to keep it hush-hush, lest a member of the Klan decide that he doesn't like the idea of ponies inhabiting a human settlement.

Anyway, after I had been assured that it was no longer a museum, Charles and I set about buying furniture: a television stand, a desk, several cribs, tables, chairs, etc. The kitchen has already been brought into the twenty-first century, and there are a bunch of outlets everywhere, so we don't have to do any construction. I'm assuming the outlets were installed during renovations to make it a museum.

There are still a bunch of displays up, of course. I'm going to take down a few, but the majority of them will make nice centerpieces.

Speaking of which, I've got work to do. I turn the doorknob, and I take about a half a step out the door before I notice big, lavender eyes, staring right at me.

My first reaction is to have the shit scared out of me. Yeah, I know, it's just a pony, but shut up, I wasn't expecting it. I mean, if you're leaving a dark room, and you see eyes watching you, wouldn't you shut yourself?

Well, luckily I don't. Instead, I compose myself and walk over to the crib, smiling down at the wakeful lavender unicorn.

"Why aren't you asleep?" I whisper, reaching down to pick her up. I cradle her in my arms, gently rocking her back and forth. "So? Why aren't you asleep, you little cutie?"

She stares at me for a few seconds, not moving any of her limbs. She begins to close her eyes, and snuggles against my chest, breathing deeply.

"Can you tell me a story?" She finally asks, looking up at me with her innocent, pure eyes. "Pwease?"

I smile at her, and gently place her back down in her crib. "I'll be right back," I promise, walking off to the colonial-era bookshelf.

Ever since she's seen her first book, Twilight has been requesting that we read together every night. Some nights, she asks for two, like tonight. In case you're wondering, the first book she saw was "America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't," by Stephen Colbert. Luckily, she couldn't read any of it, but was intrigued by the letters and their arrangement. So, when she showed me the book, I told her to start on something easy, and ever since, we've been reading different books every night.

Tonight, our second book will be "The Little Engine that Could." I bring an antique chair over to the side of her crib, place the book on my lap, and reach into her crib. I sit her down on my lap, using my forearms to keep her there as I pick up the book

"Can you read that?" I ask, pointing at the title.

"It's kind of dawk," she complains, squinting in the darkness. I roll my eyes at my own stupidity, and reach over to turn on a lamp I bought just for this: it gives off just enough light for us to read, but not enough to wake up any of the other ponies.

"I can see it now," she says, energetically. She begins to mouth out each of the words, and I help her on one or two of them, such as the "g" in "engine". When she's finished the title, I congratulate her, and open the book.

When we've finished reading, the lavender unicorn lets out a large yawn, and looks up at me with her crystalline eyes. I smile at her, and cradle her in my arms as her eyes close.

"Good night daddy," she whispers as she snuggles against my side. I smile, and say "good night, sweetheart." Her breathing slows, and after a few minutes, I put her back in her crib, with Celestia and Luna. I originally had them organized via some crazy system, but a few of them kept reaching towards each other through the bars in the crib, so I put them where they wanted to be. Derpy wanted to be with my sock, so I gave her a teddy bear to sleep with. She was disappointed that she couldn't wear it on her hoof, so I bought her an animal slipper. It's a tiny bit too big for her, so she simply curls up inside of it and goes to sleep. It's hard to believe that she'll ever be as big as a horse one day, given how freaking tiny she is.

Before I leave, I make sure that the thing-a-majager is on. I forget what it's called, but it's one those thingies where I can hear if one of them starts crying. Kind of like a walkie talkie. You probably know what it is. Yeah, you. No, not you, you. Ugh, forget it.

I softly close the door behind me, and walk downstairs. As I pass the clock, I glance at it, and see that it is 5 o'clock.

Perfect time for a nap.

I've been awake every night, taking care of them. I can barely stay awake while I play Skyrim anymore. And I'm one of those guys that gets super involved in it, and will delve into every single thing in every single town. And I only have one save file at level 60. I haven't even gone to the Greybeards yet, which basically means that I'm stuck with a weak-ass Force Shout. But I've taken every quest in every town, and I don't have any mods. I only have steel armor, and I've been going on about this for too long now, haven't I?

Anyway, I plop down on the couch, turn on the thing-a-majager receiver, and instantly begin to fall asleep, grateful for the (hopefully) hour of nap time the babies and I are sharing. And I'm also grateful that Tratno and Charles have gone into the city to go shopping for a television, a refrigerator, etc., etc. We're fully bringing this house into the twenty first century step by step.

I take a deep breath, fluff my pillow a bit, and fall asleep in the silence of the house; the grandfather clock ticking away time as I fall beneath the waves of slumber, ignorant to time and place.

Chapter 15: Responsibilities

I open the door, and pick up the crying infant. She bawls for a few minutes, and then finally stops, having fallen back into a peaceful sleep.

I place the butter Pegasus back into her crib, and tuck a strand of pink hair behind her ear. She's so adorable when she sleeps like this: wrapped up in her own wings and her tail, snuggling up against the cyan Pegasus next to her. The cyan Pegasus in question is sleeping on her back, kicking at the air repeatedly in her little baby dreams. I smile, deciding that I love being a parent.

But, of course, a moment of philosophy crashes upon me like a violent wave, wiping away my immaturity, and calling forth my experiences and thoughts to create a moment of pure wisdom, during which I see the world as it truly is.

I ask myself: is this really all that being a parent is about? Enjoying how cute my children are?

No, certainly not. Being a parent also means roughing through the tough times, and helping the children come to terms with their own problems and reality. It means helping children to move past the cruelty of others, and learn to become truly happy individuals.

And I've been burdened with the responsibility of doing this with fourteen ponies.

Fourteen ponies who will never find anyone like them in this world; fourteen children that will always be shunned, mocked, and rejected because of their appearances.

Fourteen individuals that will always be alone, with the exclusion of their relatively small family. In the face of billions of humans, fourteen sole ponies is a rather small group.

And all they have is me. I doubt they will ever be accepted as they are, except for bronies and those who are wise. But, unfortunately, wise bronies are few and far between.

So, how will I make sure that their future is not as bleak as I realize it could be? How do I make sure that they find friends? How do I ensure that they will be part of any community besides their own? Should I keep them on the Internet, and restrict them from human contact?

Or should I make the world aware to their presence, so that they can accept and understand the ponies as truly human beings before they enter society?

Religious fanatics will definitely reject them, and Creationists will fucking freak out. So, those are two parties I must stay neutral with. Don't want to piss off the fucking Vatican.

So how would I do this? How would I introduce them to the world, while keeping them as neutral in all parties?

Perhaps I could use that Voice? The same Voice that changed Tratno into a much more mellow individual? Should I have it alter the mindset of everybody in the world? Or should I have it make the President of the United States help me in this matter?

Perhaps the latter. That would probably be easier, and more feasible. Besides, I would rather let people believe what they want to believe. Freedom of religion and shit, y'know?

If you wish for me to use your President to help your children, the Voice whispers into my ear, I can.

I smile. So, it's never far away. In fact, it's always watching...

Almost like a Guardian Angel.

So you wish for me to do so...It shall be done.

And, with that, the Voice goes quiet.

Several minutes later, my cellphone begins to ring, playing the theme song to the Legend of Zelda.

I pick up the phone, and Charles vehemently speaks from the other end.

"Obama's going public with it," he tells me. "He's going behind your back to gain favoritism, trying to seem like a truthful man."

I smile. "Only time will tell."

And I hang up, already booting up my laptop to go to ABC News.

However, I don't have to.

My phone rings, and this time, the sonata of the President's voice comes through the line.

Chapter 16: Tests

My nails are practically non-existent as I sit there, waiting for the tests to begin.

It's been about a day or so since the President went global with my ponies. Almost immediately, intellectuals around the world requested that tests be done: x-rays, MRIs, CAT scans, gel electrophoresis, DNA categorization, virtual directions, etc.

However, Obama has sent a special person to take care of this.

He's sent Doctor Barbara Fischer, one of the most beautiful, amazingly intelligent women I have ever met...

Of course, that's from a professional standpoint.

I exhale as I lean on my knees. She can't possibly have been talking to them for that long...Surely, the tests have already begun, and without my knowledge!

I cautiously open the door to the examining room, and let myself in. What I see makes my heart melt.

Barbara Fischer is sitting there, on her knees, smiling as she talks to the ponies. Her beautiful, brown hair covers her left eye, which is a piercingly beautiful shade of green, almost like polished jade. She is dressed in a lab coat, which melds to her petite form perfectly...

Of course, this is all for a study on, uh, the release of hormones, and preferences in women. Duh.

"Oh, hello, Mr. Mactylan!" She laughs with a wave. "I was about to get you! These ponies are the most adorable little children I've ever seen!"

I walk over with a smile, and greet my children. "Heya, guys," I coo, gently rubbing the underside of Fluttershy's chin. Rainbow Dash smiles up at me, and I poke her on the nose, much to her delight. Trixie is staying very close to Barbara, and Is watching me cautiously. I smile at her, and playfully ruffle her mane. She haughtily turns away from me, and Barbara laughs lightly. "Looks like she doesn't like you too much," she whispers as she does the same, and gets a positive action from Trixie.

"Teach me your secrets," I get, watching as Trixie smiles at her. I feel a pang of jealousy, and shake my head. There's no reason to be jealous...

"Well, I believe we're ready to start the tests," she declares, assuming a professional atmosphere as she stands. Trixie frowns, and reaches out her hooves. I reach for her, and she immediately puts them back down, as if she never wanted company at all.

"So, who first?" I ask her, standing as well.

"How about the white one with wings and a horn, uhh...Celestia. How about her?"

I nod, and pick up Celestia. She spreads out her wings with a blissful smile as I lift her, and I have a bit of a hard balancing her.

Despite my not asking, as I place Celestia down on the examination table, Barbara tells me why she chose her.

"Celestia seems to be the most calm," she explains. "So, I'd get the most conclusive results from her, and be able to determine if the results of tests with other ponies are faulty in some way."

I nod, and she brings over a few tools for examination. The first thing she picks up is a tape recorder.

"Specimen P-1. Quadrupedal mammal representing equine species. Has horn on forehead, and two wings. Whole body is white. Rainbow mane and tail flow behind and around specimen. Fur is white, as are feathers and horn. Gender is female, and age is..." She looks to me, and I say "about a week." She nods, and says "one week, give or take a month or so due to advanced development or organism. Beginning tests now."

With that, she stops the recording, and brings over an x-ray panel. She quickly x-rays the allicorn at several angles and with several orientations of the appendages, which I assist her with achieving. Once satisfied, she retrieves the x-rays, and clips them to a light on the wall after stowing away the technology.

"Has what appears to be upwards of four hundred bones. Substantial amount in wings. Bones in wings are hollow. Horn seems to fuse with skull, and appears to be same material as skull despite unknown substance in center. Marrow present in all other bones. Has equine formation of bones, as well as equine ribcage. Tailbone present, but tail is mostly cartilage. Orientation of bones in forelegs suggest flexibility, and ability to use appendages like arms."

Once again, she turns off the tape recorder, and picks up a stethoscope. After a few minutes of examining the allicorn, and having me tell her to take deep breaths, Barbara stands, and records her findings once more. "Heart shows regularity in pulsations. Similar to equine heart, yet also similar to human heart."

She gestures for me to pick Celestia up, and we approach what I've been dreading.

The MRI.

I have Celestia lay down, and tell her to stay calm. She nods, and I kiss her on the forehead.

Barbara pushes the button, and the slide begins to move in, and Celestia begins to panic.

"Daddy?" She asks. I frown, and hold onto her hoof until I can't any longer. Barbara sighs, and I can tell that this is difficult for her. Doing tests on children is never easy.

"Celestia," she says, softly, into a microphone, "it's going to be fine. You're going to hear some banging, but besides that, nothing will happen. Just be brave, sweetheart. You're doing fine." She smiles as Celestia nods, not knowing that there's a camera installed in the machine. I come over to the microphone, and comfort Celestia as the banging begins.

"Daddy's here," I whisper as Celestia begins to whimper. "It's okay, daddy's here, sweetie. I'm going to keep you safe, Celestia, don't worry. Daddy's here, everything will be okay..." Celestia closes her eyes with a gulp, and takes a deep breath. I smile as she calms down.

"There you go," I whisper. "You're so brave, honey."

She smiles, and so do I. Within several minutes, it's over, and Celestia's plastic platform slides out with a small hiss. I smile, and hug her close as she jumps into my arms.

"That was scawy, daddy," she whispers. I smile, and pat her on the back. "It's okay, sweetie, it's over now..."

Celestia rubs her head against my shoulder, and I kiss her on the temple.

"Awwww," I hear Barbara sigh from the side. I look over with a smile, and she blushes. "I mean, I'm going to need some saliva, for deoxyribose nucleic acid..."

I nod, and use the offered cotton swab to gently swipe the inside of Celestia's cheek, cradling her as I do so, so as to comfort the little thing. When I'm done, I put the swab into the vial Barbara is holding out, and she stoppers it, before labeling it "1-A: Celestia" and popping it into a centrifuge that just so happens to have fourteen holes.

She nods to me. "That's good. Who next?"

I pick up Luna, who is watching Celestia enviously. "How about her?"

Barbara smiles at the small, inquisitive filly in my arms. "She's cute. Alright, let's go."

As time goes on, the cold, professional doctor gets to be more friendly with me, and lets her emotions show a bit more. By the time the centrifuge is half-full, she's letting out frequent "awwwwww"s. As she warms up, I do, as well, and we both begin laughing as ponies do various shenanigans.

For example, when I'm about to select the next pony for testing, Pinkie Pie hops onto my head, and Barbara giggles lightly. I turn, looking like a totem pole, and laugh along.

"So, I see Pinkie Pie is fond of being rather...random," Barbara remarks. I nod as I take Pinkie off of my head, and prep her for the examination. And then, my masculinity kicks in.

I kind of feel like kissing Barbara right now, seeing how beautiful her face is as she smiles. I lean against the table, and watch as she documents Pinkie's characteristics in her beautiful, sing-song voice. Eventually, she sees me watching her, and she simply stares back for a few seconds, her tape recorder recording the sudden silence. We both look away as we remember ourselves, blushing like little children who just found their first crush.

However, that departs as she gets totally stumped.

"Peter?" She calls, staring at the x-rays of Pinkie Pie. Pinkie hops onto Barbara's shoulder, and she pays the filly no attention as she stares at the x-ray.

She looks at me, and I shrug to her. "I dunno. You're the expert."

Barbara nods with a gulp, and begins to dictate her findings.

"Specimen has bones that appear to have no limitations, as they...they just...they're all rolled up like rope, and...confetti, almost like she's about to explode...her skull is normal, but her bone structure is farm from it, it's almost as if they don't even matter...they just...are..."

She blinks, and I silently bring Pinkie to the MRI. "Let's get the radiology imaging done," I announce, trying to tear her away from the x-rays. She nods, and joins me at the machine. As the results read out, I look at it, and notice that it shows bone in it, as well.

"Why bother with an x-ray when you can get the same results here?" I ask.

"Because an x-ray will show the bones, only," she responds. "An MRI lets us see how the bones interact and their correlation with one another..."

I nod, and she shakes her head at the results. "This makes no sense. It says here that her brain is more active than that of Stephen Hawking...I mean, look."

I approach the terminal, and see that almost every inch of every cortex is bright red. "What the hell..." I mutter.

"I dunno."

I look up, and jump back in surprise. Pinkie has gone from being inside the MRI, to being on top of it.

"What?" Barbara mutters in shock, staring at the pink pony. "How..." She shakes her head, and picks up the pink pony, cradling Pinkie in her arms like her own daughter. "I don't think we should let these results out to the public," she says, softly. We share short bout or laughter, before resuming our examinations.

And now, we're on to the last two ponies.

Rainbow Dash, and Derpy Hooves.

"Rainbow, sit still!" I cry as she struggles to get away from the x-ray machine. "Don't make me tie your wings together!"

She looks up at me, and immediately sits down with a humph as the x-ray does its magic. I sigh as we bring her to the MRI, and have to struggle with her once more.

As the banging starts, Rainbow starts banging. She knocks out her hooves in absolute panic, and Barbara immediately stops the MRI. I pick up Rainbow Dash, and kiss her on the forehead.

"It's okay," I tell the crying Pegasus. "It's okay, baby. Nothing can hurt you..."

Many of the other ponies had had similar reactions. For example, Twilight had teleported out of the MRI, and Fluttershy had gone into a state of petrified shock. Rainbow Dash had lashed out, and attacked her aggressor. Just as Rarity had slapped it with her hoof, Rainbow had kicked/punched it. And, just as Trixie had pushed me away after her initial panic, Rainbow was pushing me away, as well.

"Rainbow, Rainbow!" I cry, holding her as she struggles. "It's okay, sweetheart. It's okay; it's okay! Look, look at daddy!" I hold up a stuffed animal that I had bought for her: a mighty, brave, bear. She giggles, and holds out her hooves for it. I give it to her, and she punches it in the side, as if to say "what's up, bro?" I chuckle lightly, and lower her back into the MRI. "You have the strongest bear in the world to protect you now," I whisper to her. She nods, and holds it against her as she slides in. I smile, remembering how tightly Fluttershy had held her bee stuffed animal during the test...

Five minutes later, she's out, and I smile at her. "You did great! You're so brave, Dashie!" She smiles, and spreads her wings triumphantly. "That's right, Dash! You're the greatest flier ever, and don't you ever forget it!"

I smile as she glides back to her siblings, and I pick up Derpy Hooves.

She doesn't resist any of the tests. She's nice like that. She's...simple, and trusting like that. The only bad thing is that Barbara has to remove her eyepatch for a few moments, which eventually results in another one of her spasms, in which her body goes rigid, and she presses her hooves to her lazy eye whilst mewling in pain. I hold her until it's past, and, wiping away her tears, put her eyepatch back on.

"There ya go," I whisper. "Good as new, eh?"

She smiles up at me, as her innocent happiness has returned.

However, after what I see on the MRI, that innocent happiness is no longer as cute as it once was.

"Oh, dear," Barbara mutters. I come over, concerned, leaving Fluttershy to play with Bravery Bee on her own.

"What?" I ask, resisting the urge to lean against this marvelous woman.

She gulps, and touches the screen, where Derpy's brain is being displayed. I look closely, and see something that wasn't in anypony else's brain.

"What is it?" I ask.

"It's a...Tumor," she says, forcing herself to tell me. I feel my tongue catch in my throat.

"Oh, God," I mutter. "Is it...Is it lethal?"

"No," she responds. "It's restricted to the occipital lobe...but she's too young for us to treat it. It could kill her if we tried...But...In a few years, it may have grown to the size of a grapefruit..."

I gulp, and feel my heart sink as I observe the dastardly growth. "How large is it now?"

"The size of a golf ball," she informs me. She looks at her watch, and sighs. "Crap...I have to go on air by five," she mutters. I look at my phone.

"It's four," I tell her.

"Exactly," she sighs again. "I wish I could stay, I don't want to leave you after I told you this news, but...I have to get on CNN, because they told me to be there with the results and their implications by five...I'll omit the brain tumor and Pinkie's...finer qualities."

I nod, and, with that, she hurries out of the room, grabbing a few charts, data points, and her tape record as she bustles out.

Two things go through my head as she leaves:

My daughter has a brain tumor...

And, I think that Barbara might like me...

Unfortunately, it's only the former that I am sure of. And morbidly so.

I take Derpy out of the MRI, and turn on the television, watching, and waiting, for Barbara to appear as I sit there in stunned silence, gently stroking Derpy's mane.

Author's Notes:

I want to thank theodorehip for helping me to start off this chapter! Without him, this chap wouldn't exist!

Chapter 17: Society

I take a deep breath as Barbara appears on screen. She is greeted by polite applause, and by a handshake from the anchor.

"Hello, Doctor Fischer," the anchor says. "I understand you were recently examining these extraterrestrial ponies, and that you may have some information regarding how they would impact our lives."

Barbara nods, and takes out a folder. "Not wasting any time getting down to business, huh?" I smile, as she sounds exactly like I would.

"Why is the nice lady in the screen?" Twilight asks. I look down to see that all the thirteen other ponies are grouped around my feet, looking up at the screen. Derpy is still in my arms, and I'm still trying to cope with the fact that she has a brain tumor.

"She's in a news station," I tell Twilight. "A camera is recording her, and sending the image here."

Twilight nods, but I can see she doesn't understand. As the ponies begin to talk, I shush them, as what is said today may determine my family's incorporation into society.

"Firstly, as you can see, they are incredibly adorable," she says, taking out individual photos. A desk-top camera focuses on each of them, and all of the ponies gasp as their pictures appear on-screen.

"Daddy! Daddy! I'm on T.V.! Daddy, I'm on T.V.!" Twilight shrieks. I smile, and barely manage to hold Rainbow Dash down as she attempts to fly up to the television screen.

"What's going on!?" The cyan filly demands. "How am I on T.V. and here at the same time!?"

"It's okay," I assure her. "I'll explain later. Just sit down and watch."

Rainbow pouts, but sits down all the same with a response of "okay, daddy." I smile as I see the payoff of the respect I'd attempted to teach her.

Barbara proceeds takes out the x-rays, excluding the one that shows Pinkie's crazy bone structure. She explains how the bones are all normal, and then pulls out the print-outs of the MRIs.

"Do you see that, kids?" I ask. "That's what your brain looks like!"

They all watch on, intrigued, and I can't help but get wrapped up in Barbara's voice.

"You see, the brain activity shows that they are very capable of sophisticated thought," she says. "They can all think as we do, act as we do, speak as we do, and participate in society as we do."

"Daddy, can we watch Thomas the Tank Engine again?" Rainbow Dash asks.

"Daddy, can we watch anything but Thomas the Tank Engine?" Rarity requests.

"Daddy needs to watch this, okay?" I tell them. Celestia and Luna watch on, respectfully, as I explain. "This is very important for us. Not just for one or two of you or for me, but for all of us. Depending on what they say, you may or may not be able to have social lives."

"But it's boring!" Pinkie Pie protests. "I wanna do something fun!"

I frown, and struggle to make out what Barbara is saying over the din of complaining ponies.

"You see, they're perfectly capable of participating in society, and the only way they could possibly affect us is to benefit us."

"I see," the news anchor says. "Now, I understand that you were in direct contact with the man who will be their father. Would you mind supplying his name, as well as his attitude on this matter?"

"I'm not allowed to give his name," she says, sternly, "but I can tell you what he wants from all of this. Like any father, all he wants is for his children to lead a good, happy life. And he wants them to be very successful, and to be able to participate in society. He simply wants his children to be happy. And believe me when I say that he is a wonderful father, and his children are very respectful. While you may believe they can't learn respect due to their biology, they seem to have grasped the concept rather easily. The only one we had any problems with was Rainbow Dash, and that's because she panicked when we put her in the MRI."

"Oh, my," the anchor says, sympathetically. "Was she alright?"

"Oh, yes, she was fine," Barbara responds with a smile. "She was just a bit shaken, that's all. Peter got her to calm down."

The anchor nods, and looks back at the images with a newfound interest. "I believed that there were fourteen ponies, and yet...there are only thirteen x-rays, and twelve MRIs."

Barbara gulps, and I lean forward. "Well, one of them has a...condition, which would be...difficult, to tell the world about," she says, sternly. I can tell she's talking about Pinkie Pie. "And another one has a...growth, on their brain that would have been disturbing to some viewers."

I sigh, and look down at Derpy Hooves, who smiles up at me. You would never have guessed that she had a brain tumor...

I pick her up, and smile back at her, feeling myself choke up as she playfully reaches for me, her eyepatch snugly fit over her cocked eye. I hug her close, feeling tears well up as I rock her back and forth.

"I love you, Derpy," I whisper to her. "I love you, baby..."

I begin to cry. My baby has a brain tumor, and I can't do anything about it. And it will continue to get worse until she...she...

Oh, God, I can't think about this right now! I need to focus on the television, it's the only thing that can get my mind off of it! Besides, I need to see how the news anchor reacts...

"Daddy, why are you crying?" I look down to see that Fluttershy is frowning up at me, her hooves pressed against my leg for support as she stands on her hind legs. I smile, and pick her up with one hand, placing her on my lap.

"I...I'll tell you when you're older," I whisper. "For now, daddy needs to see what the nice lady on the television has to say, okay?"

She nods, and snuggles against me as I watch the television. Oddly enough, it makes me feel more...secure.

As I watch, I feel a warmth on my side, and see that a few of my children have joined me on the couch of their own accord, and are pressed up against me. On the floor, some ponies are pressed up against my legs, and a few ponies are joining Fluttershy on my lap.

"Don't cry, daddy," one of them begs. I look down to see Rarity, sitting on my lap. "Don't cry. Please."

I smile, and place a hand on her back. "Alright," I tell her. "I'll try. Thank you," I say, now turning to address all the ponies that are pressed up against me in my time of need, "thank you, all..."

"You're our daddy," Rainbow Dash says from my shoulder, her wing wrapped around my neck for support. "We can't let you be sad!"

I smile, and rub my cheek against Rainbow Dash. Pinkie joins her on my other shoulder, and wraps her forelegs around my forehead in a hug.

"Nope!" The pink pony cries. I smile, and scratch her under the chin a bit, turning back to the television with a warm feeling in my heart as my ponies comfort me.

As I look down to look at my ponies again, I see that Trixie is simply resting a hoof on my side, a guilty look on her face. I smile as I put down Derpy, on my lap, and pick up the young unicorn.

"Hey, there, Trix," I say, softly. "What's with the glum face?"

"I'm mean to you," she says, just as softly. "But you're my daddy, and now, you're crying, and I can't make up for being mean..."

I smile, and hug her. "My sweet, sweet Trixie, you don't have to make up for it. I will always love you. I will always love all of you. And you never have to be afraid of me shunning you." I kiss her on the side of the head, and she reciprocates the hug.

"I love you, daddy."

I smile, and kiss her again. "I love you, too, baby."

She pulls away from me, and smiles up at me. "So...are you done crying yet, daddy?"

I smile, and nod. "Yes, sweetheart. I'm done crying."

I look down at Derpy, and I realize that I've just lied.

"Now, onto the origin of these ponies...They have a resemblance to-"

I panic, and fumble for the remote control. I turn off the television before they can reveal anything about the show to my ponies and panic their poor hearts. I sigh in relief, but realize that there are two ponies staring at me in suspicion.

I look to Celestia and Luna, and they frown at me. "Why'd you turn that off? We wanted to know where we come from."

I take a deep breath, and look at them very seriously. "As your father, all you need to know is that I am trying to protect you. Do you understand?"

They nod, and I pat them on the sides. "Good."

I sigh, and look down at the ponies. A few of them have fallen asleep on the couch, and Celestia and Luna are conversing silently just besides my knee. I scratch Derpy behind the ear, and she tilts her head so my finger can get to the spot between her ear and her skull more easily. I smile, and continue to scratch her behind the ear for a good hour and a half.

Just then, I hear the door to the office open, and close. I turn to see Barbara.

"We'd better get the ponies back to your home," she says with a sigh. "Don't want them to be sleeping in an x-ray, do you?"

I chuckle lightly, and nod. We pick up the ponies, and bring them, two at a time, down to the van that had brought us here. We load them in, and then step into the compartment with them. Barbara knocks on the pane of glass between us and the driver, and we're off.

"So," Barbara says, smiling as Rainbow Dash pokes her, "I told them that the ponies would be beneficial for society."

I nod. "I know. I saw. But I turned it off when they spoke about...That."

She nods, and we pass the rest of the ride talking about either the ponies, or our personal lives. I find out that she was born here, in Kansas, and that she went to college in New York. I tell her that I'm from New York, and her interest is piqued. We talk about our hometowns-her about the farm she grew up on, and me about Brooklyn. As we speak, I get to enjoy her southern drawl, and as I learn more about her, I find myself admiring her more and more. In case I haven't me mentioned, she has a distinct southern drawl, and one that Applejack has started to imitate.

Looks like I've got my cowgirl pony after all, eh?

As we approach my home, we get the ponies ready for the transfer from truck to crib. We stop, and within fifteen minutes, we have them all peacefully(?) napping in their cribs.

When we go downstairs, I notice that it is not a simple nap, but is actually bed time. It looks to be about eleven or something, which would make Barbara's drive home treacherous...

"I think you should stay here tonight," I say as she prepares to leave. She turns to face me, rather surprised.

"Mr. Mactylan, I thought you knew better than this," she remarks. I raise an eyebrow, and she sighs. "Our relationship is purely professional, and I expect you to-"

"I don't want you to stay because of that," I defend myself. "What made you think I would ever lower myself to an action of that standard? I said you should stay because of how dark it is out. I don't want you to get hurt on the ride back."

"Oh," she says, relieved. "Oh, okay..."

I nod, and she chuckles lightly. "I'm sorry, Ah'm used to people trying to use me," she says, softly. I smile as her southern drawl drags out her "I", which occurs once in a while. She lost it during her ten year stay in New York, but her accent sometimes creeps back in for a visit.

"So, where would I sleep?" She asks, putting her bag down on the table by the door. I smile, and lead her to Charles' bedroom.

"Charles and Agent Tratno are currently in Washington," I inform her. "They'll be speaking at the UN on my behalf for a little while. I couldn't leave my children for that long..."

Barbara nods, and sits down on the bed. "Peter?" She asks as I leave.

"Hm?"

"Thank you," she says with a small smile. "You're a truly good man."

I smile back at her. "I would beg to differ," I say, before turning the lights down, and closing the door behind me. I don't want to get into a conversation as to my morals right now, so I'm just going to check on my kids, and go to sleep.

When I enter their room, I see that they're all awake, and looking to me expectantly.

I chuckle, and tuck each of them in, give them a kiss on the forehead, and lightly clear my throat as I begin to read a story aloud, not stopping until they've all fallen asleep.

Except for two.

"May I speak to you, daddy?" I turn, and smile at Celestia and Luna.

"Of course."

"Why did you turn off the television today?" Luna asks. "We would like to know where we came from."

I smile, and pick up the both of them, cradling them in either arm. "You two are incredibly mature for your age," I tell them. "It isn't exactly a good thing, but...alas, it is the way it is.

"Now then, I would like to tell you where you come from, but I honestly do not know."

They frown at me, and I shrug. "I wish I did, my dears, but I do not."

The nod, and I assure them that, if I ever do find out, they will be the first ones to know.

The two heavenly sisters simply nod to me, and lie down, somewhat disappointed.

Disappointment is far better than insanity, which I'm us they would plunge into should they know about the show...

I enter my own bedroom, and see that there is a pink pony standing on my bed.

"How did you get from in there," I ask with a smile, "to in here, without me noticing? Are you a ninja, my dear?"

She giggles, and I scoop her up as I lay down.

"Or do you just wanna snuggle with good ol' pops, eh?"

She smiles, and nods. I place her on my chest, and she immediately snuggles up to me, resting her head in the crook of my neck as we fall asleep.

Chapter 18: Regrettable Actions

I lie awake for hours, the four words I had said to Barbara ringing in my ears...

"I beg to differ," I whisper to myself, remembering how she had called me the chivalrous "good man"...

I shake my head and close my eyes to block out the darkness. Perhaps there was a day when I was a good man. But no more. Not after what I did...

I'm past that, I remind myself in the darkness of the night. I'm past that. It's over.

However, a snaking sensation in the back of my mind tells me that it shall never truly be over.

I swallow the air in my throat as I remember how she had begged...How she had begged for mercy, begged for me to let her go...

And a single tear rolls down my cheek as I remember how I had watched her eyes close, slowly, the pupils behind the lids dimming as her life faded...

That single tear is followed by a torrent of tears as I press my face into my pillow in an attempt to stifle the sounds, struggling to forget what I had done. Struggling to forget how much I had loved her...

There's a gentle knock on the door, and it opens a second later, followed by a frowning journalist named Barbara.

"Peter?" She calls, softly. "I was checking on the ponies, and I...I saw that Pinkie Pie wasn't in there. So, I checked in here, and...I heard you sobbing. Are you alright?"

I take a deep breath to collect myself, and force myself to smile at her. "Yeah," I chirp, wrestling my voice into a flat, unruffled tone. "I'm fine."

Barbara looks at me for a second more, and I look back at her. She seems to be contemplating something, and struggling to make some sort of decision.

Finally, she walks up to the bed, and slowly picks up Pinkie Pie, who is sleeping upside down on the other side of the bed. The pink pony (thankfully) doesn't wake up, and Barbara holds her in one arm as she gently touches her fingers to the back of my hand.

"I'll put Pinkie Pie back in her crib for you. And...if you need anything...I'll be just downstairs."

I nod, and watch with a painfully fake smile as she gently walks away, and closes the door behind her. Once it's clicked shut, I can hear her gentle footsteps going to the ponies' room, going down the steps, and back into her bedroom. I hear her door open and close, and I sigh as my shoulders sag.

I turn back to the pillow, but no more tears will come forth. The pillowcase is quite wet, so I turn it over as I flop back onto my back and stare at the ceiling once more.

I take a deep breath, and close my eyes.

"Peter, please..."

I squeezed her hand, my lips quivering as I stared down into her already-fading eyes. "No," I muttered. "No..."

"Just...give me mercy," she pleaded, her voice nothing but a drawn-out sigh. "Just...let me go..."

I shook my head, and rested my forehead on her shoulder as I sobbed, stroking her hand lovingly. "I can't..."

"Yes, you can," she said softly as she tucked a strand of stray hair behind my ear with a gentle, loving hand. "Please. Do it for me..."

This went on for about two hours, me sobbing against her shoulder and the young woman trying to convince me into doing what I could never do...

When I wake up, my eyes are full of tears.

I can remember each and every moment of that dream, like a crystal, each shattered piece standing frozen in time, like tears just about to hit the floor and shatter into a million pieces...

I somewhat hope that Barbara would walk through the door, or that one of my ponies would teleport into my arms. At least then, I could forget what happened all those years ago...

When neither happens, I sigh as I return to my state of tired depression as I struggle to understand why...

"Why?" She demanded, her voice choking as her eyes filled with tears.

"I can't," I whimpered. "I just can't..."

"You can!" She insisted. "If I could do it myself, I would, but I can't!

"Peter, please...

"Just let the pain end..."

I looked into her eyes, and I saw it.

I saw the pain she was in.

I saw how much it tortured her, and how the life she lived wasn't even a life. It was a husk of a life. Not a life worth living...

I looked down in shame as I reached across the bed. "I love you," I remind her as I look down into her eyes.

"I love you, too," she whispered, swallowing back tears of gratitude as she smiles up at me. "Thank you..."

I nodded, and, closing my eyes and gritting my teeth...

Before doing anything, I looked back into her eyes. "You'll always be my sister," I told her.

"And you'll always be my brother," my sister whispered in response, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

I nodded. And I did what she asked me to.

I pulled the plug.

She shuddered. She shook.

And then...

And then, after months of fighting the inevitable...

My sister slowly closed her eyes...and died.

When I open my eyes, I find that there are fresh tears running down my face, staining the other side of my pillow.

My entire body shaking with the emotional turmoil that I've just relived, I throw my legs over the side of my bed, immediately thinking of a source of promised comfort.

I pause in front of the door to the ponies' room. For a moment, I consider entering, and hugging each of them in turn.

But they're all sleeping at this time of night, and I don't want to disturb them...

So I force myself to continue on, without even knowing why I don't just return to bed. I shouldn't be pressing my problems on others like this...

I pause as I stand before her door, regret coursing through me. I know that she offered to help, but...we've only just met each other. She's just feeling pity, no doubt; and to act upon it would be wrong. It could lead to consequences neither of us are willing to deal with. Getting that emotionally involved, and that quickly? It would be bound to end in pain, for the both of us.

I step back from the door, and turn, tip-toeing my way into the kitchen with feline stealth.

I open the refrigerator, and take out the bottle of wine. After a moment's debate, I decide to replace it for a bottle of scotch.

After pouring myself a small amount, I brace myself against the kitchen counter as I stare down at the alcoholic beverage, the golden liquid shimmering in the darkness with comfort and life...

"Only one," I whisper to myself. "Only one drink..."

I down the glass, savoring the burning sensation that spills down my throat. I let out a content sigh as it makes contact with my empty stomach.

I set my jaw as I feel the nauseating urge to have a second. I shouldn't. If I get too drunk, I may end up knocking on Barbara's door. And then where would we be?

I find myself staring at the bottle, the scotch glass still in my hand. I grit my teeth as the scotch slowly takes its effect, making my head feel lighter and that nauseating urge all the more nauseating and strong. I clench my eyes shut, and force myself to think about my family...my children, all fourteen of them, sleeping peacefully in their cribs.

I open my eyes, and find that I've grabbed the bottle. The cool glass stings my hand, and as I lift it and place my glass on the counter, I know that I've lost.

After pouring the glass, I cap the bottle and put it back in the refrigerator.

"Only one more," I warn myself as I stare down at the liquid, hesitating to drink it, knowing that there will be consequences...

And yet, at the same time, wanting to drink it so badly...

A hand rests atop mine, the small, elegant fingers interlacing with my own as another hand reaches out, grabs the glass, and spills the contents down the sink.

I'm gently turned until I'm looking directly into Barbara's eyes. She simply stares into my eyes, her eyes full of sympathy and compassion.

After a small while, I begin to feel terrible for having even had just one drop of alcohol. I disrespected my memory of my beloved sister by even pouring the fucking stuff.

"I'm sorry," I whimper, less to Barbara and more to the part of my sister that I still hold within myself. I let my forehead fall onto Barbara's shoulder as I begin to cry.

"It's okay," she whispers, pulling me into a hug. I whimper and sniffle against her, holding her tight as I struggle to overcome my pain. After a moment, she pulls away from me, and looks up into my eyes.

"We really shouldn't be getting this personal," Barbara announces, as if that will change the fact we are getting dangerously personal.

"We shouldn't," I whisper in consent. "We should just keep to a professional relationship..."

She nods, and gulps as she continues to stare into my eyes, her hands still resting on my shoulders. My hands remain on her back as we stand there, frozen in time.

The both of us begin to lean towards each other at the same time. The both of us begin to close our eyes at the same time. The both of us part our lips at the same time.

And the both of us kiss at the same time.

Author's Notes:

Yeah, I know, that ending is kinda cheesy and stupid.
But I couldn't figure out a way to write the next chapter, so...
FUCK IT!
May as well introduce a new source of emotional conflict into the mix, eh?
Also CHARACTERIZASHUN (ermahgerd)
Also, don't expect the ship between Peter and Barbara to last. Just saying that right now.

Chapter 19: Mission for Food

My eyes pop open as my tummy rumbles, sending a shiver through my body.

I try to ignore it, deciding that I can just eat in the morning. Besides, that's what Daddy told me to do when I'm hungry at night. He said something about being too young for late-night snacks...

My tummy rumbles again, and I clench my eyes shut as I involuntarily curl in my hind legs in an attempt to get rid of the pain.

Okay, me, you can do this. Just do what Daddy told you to do: take deep breaths, and close your eyes. I mean, sure, I could get him to come into my room and put me back to sleep, but I told him I'm too old for that now! I can go to sleep on my own...

A tear forms in the corner of my eye as my tummy rumbles even more. I want foooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!!!

But I can't cry! No, I told Daddy that I can do this! I also told that...Mr. Colbert that I could do this, after he asked if my crying keeps Daddy up at night...And I don't wanna keep Daddy up anymore. I can do this myself!

...

...

...

I open my eyes with a sense of citrus. Wait...porpoise? No, citrus! Duh.

I open my eyes with a sense of citrus, and slowly pull away from my sister, Fluttershy. I don't wanna wake her up, because if I do, I'll get in a boatload of trouble...

I stand up in the crib with a smile, and silently approach the edge of the confine. Yeah, I know some big words! Twilight told me a few of them, and what they mean. She's such a smartypants...

My body tenses as I hear Fluttershy getting up from the backways of me. Okay, maybe I don't know many big words, but I know enough!

We make eye...umm...we see each other's black-dots-in-our-eyes, and she makes a frowny at me.

"Fluttershy, don't tell Daddy!" I urge in a whisper. She pouts, and tears begin to form in the corners of her eyes. I sigh in defeat. "Fluttershy, I'm just going to get a cookie..."

With that, her expression totally shifts. She shuffles her wings in excitement, making small hushes of sound as her feathers are rustled against one another. She smiles at me, and I nod in understanding.

"Yep. I'll bring you back a cookie, Flutters. I'll be back in ten seconds flat."

With that, I look at the wall of bars, and focus on my wings. Recently, I've been able to fly over the edge of my crib, and Daddy has been super happy about that. So have I, of course. Flying is great, it's like running, only...funner.

In fact, it's like running...

Times two.

Yeah, that's right! I know multipli...multipli...multiplying things! Yes.

Oh, boy, one day I'm gonna be smarter than Twilight!

My heart skips a beat as I realize that I haven't been focusing on my flying, and that I've strayed dangerously close to the ceiling fan. I gulp in fear, shaking as I force myself to slowly descend to the floor.

My limbs shaking, I take a step towards the door, and another, slowly walking so I don't wake up everyone.

When I get to the door, I find that it's open! Score!

Maybe it's a sign from Daddy! Maybe he wants me to do this!

I walk out, and, after ensuring that nobody is watching me so I don't end up getting held back, I quickly descend the stairs, careful not to fall as I slowly make my way down the incline.

I let out a silent gasp as a giant dark form comes out of the kitchen. I press myself into the gap underneath the railing, and watch in fear and apprehension.

After a few moments, I realize that the dark form is just Daddy and the Nice Lady, sharing a happy hug. But now, Daddy's letting go of the Nice Lady, and is sitting down on the couch. I can't hear what he's saying, but he's probably telling her how happy he is that I'm able to go into the kitchen and get food on my own.

Keeping to the shadows, so I don't scare the Nice Lady, I sneak into the kitchen, and rush over to the Special Spot.

That's what I call the place where I can climb up the side of the cabinets, and pull myself up onto the counter, so I can watch Daddy cook. It's my very own Special Spot, and Daddy let me mark it in crayon so nobody steals it.

Moving as silently as I can, I make my way over to my prize: the cookie jar. It's right next to the sink, and it stands upright and is very tough to open if you're not tall enough.

Luckily, I am tall enough.

I slowly take the lid off of the jar, and place it down on the counter, making sure that it doesn't make any noise. I quickly reach into the jar, and pull out a medium-sized cookie. It's about the size of my eye, and it looks really tasty.

It's gone in about three bites.

I sigh in happiness as the cookie makes its way through to my stomach. Oh, man, so delicious...

I silence a burp, and look back at Daddy and the Nice Lady to make sure they haven't seen me. As I do, I see that Daddy is getting really energetic.

I turn away from the cookie jar, and sit down on the counter, watching Daddy in confusion. I strain my ears to hear him, as he's whispering so he doesn't wake up everybody upstairs.

"-and we really shouldn't have, and I'm really sorry, and I wish I could take it back, and-"

The Nice Lady surprises both Daddy and myself by slapping him, right across the face. Her hand and Daddy's face meeting make a quick, silent crack.

"Quit being such a little bitch," I hear the Nice Lady scold him. Bitch? What's that? Hmm...I'll have to ask Daddy about that later. "We kissed. So what? It happened, get over it. Seriously, Peter, I thought I was the woman here."

I frown in confusion as Daddy chuckles. What's so funny about that?

"Hey, maybe when Charles and Tratno get back from the U.N., you and I could go out on a date? And they could watch the kids?"

I listen to the conversation for a few more seconds, but quickly grow bored. And it is really boring. Like, none of it is about cookies. Or me.

Or me eating cookies.

Speaking of which, I have to bring Fluttershy a cookie...

After taking a cookie out, and putting back the lid, I make my way over to my Special Spot, and prepare for the climb down.

As I climb, I have to keep the cookie from breaking against the wall. I involuntarily gulp as I come up to the most challenging part of this: the part where the two handles nearly touch each other. I'll have to lean back, and push back too, just so I don't break the-

No...

No......

NO!!!!!!!!

I watch in horror as the half of the cookie descends towards the floor, and shatters into billions upon billions of pieces. My eyes watering, I climb the rest of the way down, and try to group the crumbs back together.

C'mon, come on, Fluttershy is counting on me!!! Please, get back together, cookie...please, please...

Please?

I sit down in front of the cookie, and feel tears pushing themselves forth as I look at the shattered hopes and dreams that lie before me on the floor.

No, don't cry...

Don't cry...

Rainbow, you can do this! Just...do not cry, okay?

Okay, now that I'm back in my right mind, I can do this! Alright, let's see...okay, so this crumb goes here...that crumb goes there...

Ugh, my breath scattered them again! Crumbs, I've had it with your poopy! It's time to go back together, and become a cookie!!

...

Well, mind-shouting at them didn't work to make them into a one them thing.

Maybe...maybe Daddy could fix it? I mean, he can fix almost anything, right? He said so himself!

But what if he gets angry at me for being up so late?

Ah, phooey! This is for Fluttershy! He'll understand!

I draw myself to my full, rather impressive height as I walk out of the kitchen, and into the light of the nighttime. Daddy and the Nice Lady are sitting there talking about boring adult things, so they'll probably be grateful to be able to talk to me...

"Daddy?" I call out as I walk over to the couch. He stops talking, and turns to face me.

"Rainbow Dash? Sweetheart, what're you doing up so late?" Daddy asks, immediately scooping me up in his arms. I can't help but snuggle into him a bit - he's so warm! - as he holds me. He smiles down at me before speaking.

"Were you eating a cookie, Rainbow Dash?"

I gape up at him. What kind of sorcery is this!? "How'd you know!?"

He smirks as he licks his thumb, and wipes away at the corner of my mouth. "There's a bit of chocolate on your fur," he informs me with a chuckle. I smile, and rub my cheek against his tummy.

Oh, wait! I've gotta fix that cookie for Fluttershy! "Daddy, can you help me fix a cookie?"

He raises an eyebrow at me. "What are you talking about, fix a cookie?"

"I promised Fluttershy a cookie, but I dropped it and it brokeded."

He smiles at me. "Rainbow, I can't fix a broken cookie, baby. I can give you a new one to bring to Fluttershy, though."

I pout. "But I thought you could fix anything!"

He smiles as he stands, and brings me into the kitchen. I tilt my head to watch the floor, and the crumbs that he steps around. "Rainbow Dash, do you know what happens when a cookie crumbles?"

I shake my head. "Nuh-uh."

"Its tastiness moves out, because its home is ruined," Daddy informs me as he pulls out a second cookie for me to give to Fluttershy. "And it goes to another cookie! If I were to fix a broken cookie, it wouldn't taste good anymore."

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." I grin as I take the cookie in my forehooves, and prepare my wings for flying up the stairs, and to Fluttershy. "Wait until I tell Twilight about this! She'll be so mad that I know something she doesn't!"

Daddy chuckles, and gives me a kissy on the side of my head. "That's right, sweetheart. Now, let's get you back to bed, Dashie."

I nod, and he carries me back up to my room. Yay! Convenientism!

"Go on, give that to Fluttershy," he urges as he lets me take off from his arms.

"Thanks, Daddy," I whisper.

He smiles at me. "Good night, sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you, too, Daddy."

He smiles again, and watches as I descend into my crib. I give Fluttershy the cookie, and she grins at me as she slowly nibbles at it, shuffling her teeny wings once every few seconds.

Daddy goes to check on everybody sleeping, but he's stopped by the Nice Lady, who followed us upstairs. I don't know why she's up here, but it's probably to be nice.

"Can I help?" The Nice Lady asks. Daddy shakes his head 'no,' and rests a hand on her shoulder.

"Get some sleep, Barbara. You've already helped me quite a lot tonight."

She frowns, as if she's been slapped, and nods, quickly moving to exit the room. "Good night, Nice Lady," I call out after her. She pauses, and with a nod from Daddy, she walks over to me, smiling down at my face.

"Good night, Rainbow Dash," she whispers. "Your father's a great man. Never forget that."

I nod, not really knowing why she's telling me this, and she rushes out, giving Daddy a quick kissy on the cheek before she leaves.

She's really got to care about him, then. Daddy told me that honly people who care for each other give each other kissies. But then...why isn't Daddy giving her a kissy back?

Oh, she's gone now. I'll ask him about it later...along with a lot of things. Like, what's a bitch?

Daddy tucks me in, and kisses me on the forehead, smiling down at me.

"Is the Nice Lady okay?" I ask, reaching out to touch his face. His face is all pudgy and floppy, it's funny to watch my hoof bend the skin.

"Yeah," Daddy sighs. "She's just a bit stressed..."

I nod, and hug his squishy face before laying back down for sleep. I feel him watching me for a few seconds before leaving.

I snuggle into my pillow, and quickly fall asleep.

Author's Notes:

Now, for my own misgivings about this gamble of a chapter:
Firstly, I think I gave Rainbow too much of a diversified vocabulary. Then again, being raised by someone other than her pony parents, what do you expect? She would end up different from how she normally is.
Also, I feel like it was difficult to pull off the whole perspective change thing. But I hope this worked, because this chapter was really just an experiment: I hope to show some school days and whatnot through the pony perspective, albeit as bonus chapters. Maybe not bonus chapters when it comes to events that could traumatize the ponies or make them über happy.

Chapter 20: Bad Dreams

I sigh as I close the door to the babies' room. I turn to say goodnight to Barbara, and I'm actually quite surprised to see that she's still standing next to me.

"Goodnight," I whisper, resisting the urge to rest a hand on her arm as I shuffle my feet a bit.

"Oh, for Christ's sake," she mutters, rolling her eyes in irritation. "This is ridiculous, Peter. We're grown adults, but we're acting like a pair of kindergarteners with a crush."

I blush as I look away from her, and roll my shoulders a bit. "Sorry..."

"Peter, you've got to man up," Barbara announces, frowning at me. "Seriously, why are you being so timid? If ya' like me, jus' say so already. We can go get some coffee when Ah'm off from work."

I smile up at Barbara. "Uh, yeah. Sure." She rolls her eyes as she punches me on the shoulder. I hiss an exclamation of pain, careful not to be too loud so I don't wake up the kids.

"Seriously, you're actin' like a girl from a bad romance novel," Barbara hisses. "Now, cup your hand on your crotch and find yer' balls." I chuckle lightly, and she gives me a quick peck on the cheek. I blush a bit as she smirks at me. "Well, I'd better get t' sleep. I've gotta get to work in the morning, which means I'll have to get back to my flat and get prepped up."

I nod, and mumble a quick "goodnight" before she walks down the stairs, acting as if nothing's amiss.

She's remarkable, isn't she? Has a kiss with a guy, and then acts like nothing happened. She is much more emotionally stable than I am...

I sigh as I retreat into my bedroom, and flick on the baby monitor. I curl up under the covers, and close my eyes, tiredness quickly taking over as I relax...

I open my eyes with a small smile as I hear sniffling coming through the baby monitor. Fluttershy probably needs a diaper change: she just sniffles when she soils herself. She doesn't wail or cry.

I get up, and quickly enter the babies' bedroom, searching for...

Fluttershy isn't the one sniffling.

I realize that with a bit of shock, and then a bit of sympathetic, parental love as I reach down into the crib to gently touch the crying unicorn.

"Hey, sweetheart," I whisper as she starts from the contact. "It's just me. It's just Daddy."

She looks up at me, and after her eyes adjust to the darkness, she immediately wraps her forelegs around my hand, hugging it tight as if it might get away if she lets go.

"What's the matter?" I ask gently as I pick her up and cradle her in my arms.

"I...I had a b-bad dream," she stammers, tears getting in the way of her speech.

"Oh," I whisper, rocking the pony gently. "D'you want to sleep with me for the rest of the night, sweetheart?"

She nods, squeezing her eyes shut as she rubs away a few tears with a hoof. I smile to myself as I carry her into my bedroom.

As I settle down into the bed, holding my daughter close and snug, I ask her what her dream was about.

"I...I was alone," she whispers, her voice small and distant. "I was alone...and I cried and cried, but...nobody came...I was all alone...forever..."

I frown in sympathy as I kiss the crown of her head. "Sweetheart, you'll never be alone. I'll always be here with you."

"But...I called for you, Daddy, and you didn't come," Trixie mutters, tears bubbling over as she squeezes my arm a bit tighter. "And I...I knew I'd never see you again..."

I kiss her again. "Trixie, I'll always be here for you," I whisper to her. "I love you. You're my baby, and I'll always be there to look out for you. I promise that if you have that dream again, all you've got to do is say "I love you Daddy," and I'll show up."

Trixie looks up at me, and smiles a bit. "I love you, Daddy," she whispers, hugging my neck as she cuddles into me. I smile to myself as I stroke her mane.

"I love you, too, Trix," I whisper.

A few moments of silence pass, and I assume that she's fallen asleep. However, I'm proven wrong when she starts to cry again.

"I'm sorry I'm so mean to you," she whimpers. "I'm sorry that I ignore you sometimes..."

I smile as I hug her a bit closer. "It's okay, sweetheart," I whisper, my heart melting as I kiss her on the forehead. "You'll always be my daughter, and I'll always love you, no matter what you do." Trixie hugs me tighter, and I kiss her again.

We pass a few moments like that, hugging each other close as a bond deeper than any other passes between us. After a few moments, she falls asleep, and I adjust my position so she can be completely comfortable.

"Goodnight, Trixie," I whisper to the unconscious pony. "I love you."

I'm woken up by small mumblings. My eyes flutter open, and I look down at the pony in my arms.

"I love you, Daddy," she whispers, her eyes flickering about under her lids. She's talking in her sleep. I smile as I lean toward her ears and begin to whisper back.

"I'm here," I whisper to her. "Daddy's here. I love you, baby."

She calms down, and stops mumbling as she smiles to herself, and cuddles into me. I smile to myself, and close my eyes as I rest my head back on the pillow.

This time, I'm woken up by a gentle nudge. I open my eyes, and see that there's someone looking down at me. I immediately recognize the person as Barbara, and I rub my eye with a grumpy grumble.

"I have to go to work," she whispers to me. "I just wanted to tell you before I left."

I sigh. "What time is it?" I mutter, still not wanting to open my eyes all the way.

"It's five thirty. I've got to get ready at my place first, which is why I'm leaving so early."

I nod, and put my nose back in Trixie's mane. "K...bye," I mutter, sleepily. She blows a bit of air out of her nose in amusement, and makes me blush my kissing me on the cheek.

"I'll be back to check in on you later," she whispers. "God knows you'll need my help."

"Mrsmrlr..." I mutter. She chuckles lightly before bustling out of the room.

Are we dating? I mean, I know we kissed last night, but when the fuck did I get pulled into a God-damned relationship? Guess I should've seen this coming, huh...

I fidget a bit so that I can fully support Trixie's curled up form. I sigh to myself in content, and wince a bit as I hear an engine turn over. Barbara's car drives away a moment later, and I wait for the crying to start...

However, none comes through the baby monitor. I smile to myself at the pleasant surprise. Maybe I'll have time to rest this morn-

BANG

Nope.

I sit bolt upright in bed, and Trixie jumps into wakefulness.

"Daddy, what was that!?" She cries in panic.

"I don't know," I respond, my senses acute as I try to understand what the hell is going on... "Come on, let's go find out."

I pick her up, and we hurry down the stairs.

Chapter 21: A Troublesome Day, Part 1

My sister nudges me awake, and I grumble a bit as I force my eyes open.

"Come on, Ti-Ti," she urges as she nibbles on my ear."We've got to to pway, Ti-Ti!"

I frown as I pick up my head, and look at the white winghornpony. "But isn't that against the rules?" I ask, remembering that Daddy told me that we can't have our special playtime when he's not around.

"Yeah, but we'w be careful," Tia whispers. "Lu-Lu's up and she's waiting for us."

I sigh, and decide that she's the smarter out of the two of us. Besides, she's better at magic, anyway.

Magic...Daddy says we shouldn't do it outside of the house. He says we might scare people. Also, he said we shouldn't do it too much because he said it puts out...radiashun. I don't know what that is, yet, but I'll find out...

Tia uses magic to open the cribs' gate, and I watch in awe. She's really good at it: things that I've got to focus on really hard she just does with a little nod.

"C'mon," Tia giggles as she hops down. I follow her, and stumble a bit as I hit the ground. However, my long legs help to absorb the impact. At least, that's what Daddy told me. And Daddy's smart! He's teaching us math on Saturdays, it's really fun! So far, I can multiply, add, subtract, divide, and use the order of operations for when there's a lot of things in one equation! Daddy said he might start on "exponents" with me. I honestly can't wait!

"Come on!" Tia sighs. "I wanna pway, Ti-Ti!"

I nod as I hurry to catch up with Tia. "Where's Lu-Lu?" I ask as we near the door.

"She's waiting on the steps," Tia responds, smiling as she uses magic to open the door.

Lu-Lu and I smile at each other, and she shows her teeth in a sneaky grin.

"C'mon, we're gonna play with the computer!" Lu-Lu declares, rushing down the stairs.

"Okay," Tia responds, hurrying down the stairs after her. I hesitate for a moment, remembering what Daddy told us about the computer: he said not to use it without him. But Tia said we'd be careful.

But, after a second, I rush down the stairs after them.

"We'll take turns, Tia," Luna whispers as she magically opens it. I smile at how skilled she is with her own magic. "I'll turn it on. I'll go first."

"I wanna go first, Lu-Lu!" Tia whines, pouting in disappointment.

"It was my idea!" Lu-Lu protests, keeping her voice down as we hear creaking upstairs. We all crouch, ready to run should we get in trouble...

After several moments, Tia and Lu-Lu look to me. "Ti-Ti, can you keep watch?" Tia asks.

"Yeah, if you see Papa, call for us," Lu-Lu agrees.

I nod, and salute them. "On it!" With that, I rush to sit in the shadow of the steps. I notice that the Nice Lady's door is open, so I keep on watch for her, too.

"C'mon, Lu-Lu, lemme pway!"

"Fine, Tia. If you'll stop whining about it, you can play the game first. Happy?"

"Yes."

I hear Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone starting up, and I smile. I like that game: it has magic. Daddy said it's really old, and that he wanted us to play it because it would help us to play a magic game by using magic.

"My turn, Tia!"

"What? That's not fair!"

"You fell into the bottomless pit! We agreed that we'd take turns!"

"Come on, stop being such a baby, Lu-Lu."

"You stop being a baby! I'll tell Daddy if you don't let me have a turn!"

"Fine! Just shut it already, geez..."

I giggle lightly as they switch places. A few moments later, I hear creaking, and I look up to see the Nice Lady coming down the stairs. She sees me, and frowns.

"What're you doing up, Twilight?" She asks in a whisper, kneeling down in front of me.

"Keeping watch," I chirp in response. "Tia and Lu-Lu are playing Harry Potter."

She frowns. "Don't you feel left out?"

I shake my head. "No. I'm happy if my sisters are having fun."

The Nice Lady looks me over, and bites her lip. She looks up at the door to Daddy's room, and sighs. "Alright, then. I won't tell your Daddy, alright? Just...make sure to take a turn." I nod, and she pats me on the head before rushing out. I hear a car roar alive, and then it runs away, like all cars do.

I smile as I lean against the wall, proud of my skills at keeping watch.

"Lu-Lu, it's my turn now!"

"Tia, stop! The level isn't over yet, it's just a halfway point - it's loading the rest of the level!"

"But it's my tuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn!"

"Stop whining! It's not your turn, and you've got to wait until it is!"

And then, Tia starts to cry.

I peek my head around the corner of the wall, and watch as Lu-Lu backs away from Tia. Her horn starts to glow, and I shrink back in fear.

"Okay, Tia, it-it's your turn," Lu-Lu mutters, her legs shaking as she presses herself against the wall. However, Tia's past reason, and her tantrum is about to be released in a burst of magic.

I jump behind the wall, using it as a shield as-

BANG

...

As that happens...

I hear Daddy sprinting down the stairs, and I shrink into the wall as he stares at whatever happened, then sets Trixie down on the couch before running to the computer table.

"Are you okay!?" I hear him demand. He walks back to the couch with Tia and Lu-Lu in his arms, and the both of them are crying and covered in black soot. "What happened!?"

"Lu-Lu wouldn't let me have my turn!" Tia shouts. "It was my turn to use the computer and she wouldn't let me!"

"First off, it was neither of your turns to use the computer!" Peter shouts. "I told you not to use it unless I was with you! And now look what happened!"

I peak around the wall to see what happened, and my jaw falls open.

The computer is...it's...it's gone. It's been completely...destroyed, and now the desk and the wall and everything is covered in black scorch marks.

"I...I'm sorry Daddy," Lu-Lu mutters. "It was Tia's idea!"

"Nuh-uh!" Tia shouts. "It was your idea!"

"The both of you, stop! You're both in the same amount of trouble for doing this, and I don't care whose idea it was!"

Lu-Lu and Tia glower at each other for a moment, before blinking as they have an idea. I cringe as I realize what's about to happen.

"Actually...it was Ti-Ti's idea!" Lu-Lu shouts. "She's hiding behind that wall!"

Daddy turns around, and looks right at me. He frowns, and I shrink back. "Twilight...is that true?" He asks. "Was it your idea to play on the computer? Or did you just get dragged along?"

I look between Lu-Lu and Tia, both of whom are giving me hopeful smiles. I sigh as I come out from behind the wall, and hang my head in defeat. "Yes, Daddy. It was my idea."

He nods. "At least you were honest. But now, all three of you are grounded-"

"What!?" Lu-Lu and Tia shout simultaneously.

"And you're going to have to come with me to get the new computer."

Lu-Lu and Tia groan in irritation, and I just lay down and start to cry. I made Daddy angry...

"I'm going to have to clean the both of you up," Daddy announces with a sigh. "Then you're going back to bed."

Tia and Lu-Lu pout, and Daddy tells Trixie and me to stay where we are as he brings them upstairs to the bath.

Trixie pops her head up over the couch as she smirks at me. I look up to her, and she sticks her tongue out.

"You're in trouble~," she mocks. "You're in trouble, you're in trouble~..."

"Shut it!" I spit, anger coursing through my body as I glare at her.

"Fine," she responds with a shrug. She slips back down onto the couch, and I return to crying into my hooves. A few moments of silence pass, during which all I hear is my small-

"You're in trouble, you're in trouble, you're in trouble~"

"SHUT UP!"

Trixie falls silent, and I sigh in relief.

It's then that I realize that I can hear crying.

I look up the stairs, and realize that my siblings were woken up by the BANG. I frown as I see Daddy through the door, comforting them as the dirty Tia and Lu-Lu sit just outside the door, pouting in anger as they glare at each other, passing small insults between themselves.

I sigh as I rest my chin back on my hooves, and shut my eyes so I can avoid the real world...

But that doesn't block out what happens in about twenty minutes.

I hear Tia and Lu-Lu crying as Daddy scolds them, and I wince as I prepare myself for a good word-lashing...

Daddy walks back down the stairs, and brings Trixie up. I squirm as I sit on the floor, the wood starting to chafe my legs a bit...

As Daddy comes back downstairs, he ignores me as he sets about getting rid of the destroyed computer. He just throws it out the door - no ceremony about it.

"Hey," Daddy whispers as he kneels down to pick me up. "Sorry you had to hear all of that..."

I nod, and keep my distance from him - as much as I can when I'm in his arms - as he sits down on the couch. He sighs before starting to speak.

"Why weren't you using the computer with your sisters?" Daddy asks, holding me close.

"I was keeping watch so they wouldn't get caught," I respond in a small voice.

He nods, and sighs again. "Was it actually your idea, Twilight?"

I frown as I remember how hopeful Tia and Lu-Lu looked. "Yes..."

"Was it really? Because if it were your idea, you'd be playing on the computer, too, wouldn't you?"

I gulp at the undeniable logic. "Yeah..."

"So, why were you actually keeping watch?"

I sigh as I squeeze my eyes shut. "Tia told me to..."

"So...It wasn't your idea?" Daddy asks.

"No," I respond in a small voice. "It wasn't...I just wanted to play with Tia and Lu-Lu..."

Daddy nods, and kisses me on the forehead. "Don't let them tell you what to do," Daddy whispers. "You might get in trouble if it's someone other than me."

I frown as I look up at Daddy. "So...I'm not in trouble?" I ask. He smiles at me, and runs his finger through my mane.

"Of course not, sweetheart. You were just caught in the middle. I'll have to give your sisters a double punishing for using you like that...And for lying..." He sighs as he cradles me in his arms, and I frown.

"Please, Daddy, don't be to mean to them," I whisper. "They just wanted to play, they didn't mean to blow up the computer..."

"I know," Daddy responds. "That part I'm okay about. With that, I'm just relieved that they're okay..." I nod, and he continues. "I'm just disappointed that they didn't listen to me, fought over the computer, used you, and lied to me. So, there's quite a bit that they still get to be punished for."

I frown. "What're you gonna do to them?" I ask.

"You're still worried about them?" Daddy asks. "After they threw you under the bus like that?" I nod, and he smiles. "You're sweet, Twilight. You're very sweet, and that's a good thing. Just don't let people walk all over you, huh?" I nod again, and he takes a deep breath.

"So, d'you wanna know how I'm going to punish them?" Daddy asks. I nod yet again. "I'm going to lock them in a tower, far away guarded by a dragon!" He announces. I gasp as I imagine that. "And then the dragon's gonna take them for a fly!" He stands, and starts to make me fly. I giggle as he dips and raises me. "And then, when they're all nice and scared, I'll take them home and give 'em a little spanking."

I giggle a bit, and Daddy cradles me against his chest. "But what I'm really gonna do, is I'm going to keep 'em from playing for the rest of today, and tomorrow. Instead, I'll keep them with me, even if we go outside."

I nod, and feel a bit of relief: that's not that bad. They still get to eat and stuff...

"D'you still love them?" I ask in a small voice.

"Of course I do," he responds, frowning at me. "What, you think I'd stop loving them because they did something that made me mad? I love all of you, and I'll never stop loving any of you."

I close my eyes as I rub my cheek against Daddy's chest. "I love you, too, Daddy," I whisper. He smiles as he picks me up, and brings me upstairs to my crib.

By the time he's put me down with my siblings - I don't think I'm with Tia and Lu-Lu, but I don't know who I'm with - I'm about to fall asleep.

Daddy gives me a quick peck on the side of my head, and I finally do fall asleep.

Author's Notes:

1. They used magic to telekinetically control the keys and the mouse of the keyboard.
2. Yeah, this is part 1. Whenever I put Part "x", it means that each part is going to be in a different point of view. Either pony or person, depends. (Yes, there will eventually be chapters from the point of view of humans other than Peter.)

Chapter 22: A Troublesome Day, Part 2

Ready...

Aim...

And...

FIRE!!!

I stifle a giggle as the Cheerio bounces off of Flutters' nose, and falls into her milk with a plop. She panics at the sudden noise, and jumps out of her chair, letting out a squeal of utter terror as she dives behind the couch. I burst out laughing, and almost fall out of my chair.

"Lyra, don't throw your food," I hear Daddy scold.

"I'm sorry," I respond, still giggling a bit as I eat the rest of my Cheerios. I look up to see that Flutters is in Daddy's arms. As I see the petrified look on her face as she stares down at her bowl, I can't help but laugh again. "Okay, I lied, I'm not sorry. That was worth it."

Daddy gives me a frown, and I stop laughing immediately. I don't wanna make Daddy mad...

"Sweetheart, there's nothing to be afraid of. It was just your sister throwing a Cheerio." Flutters dips her hoof into the bowl, and pulls away, hiding behind her pink hair as she stairs at it. Once she's sure that it's safe, she-

Plop.

She jumps and runs again, and I squeal in laughter, one Cheerio short.

"Lyra! I thought I said not to throw your food!" I stop laughing as I Fluttershy starting to cry. "Now look what you've done...you're in trouble, little lady."

I pout as I stare down at my bowl.

"You're in trouble, you're in trouble~..."

I glare at Scratchy, and she immediately stops taunting me. A few of my siblings snicker, but the return of a cautious yet happy Flutters silences them as Daddy looks around at us. He looks at my empty bowl, and immediately picks me up.

"So, you're done?" He asks as he brings my bowl into the kitchen. I nod, and he places me on the counter. I look away from him in embarrassment.

"Now, do you know why you're in trouble, sweety?" He asks.

"Because I didn't listen to you and threw something at Fluttershy..."

He nods. "Exactly. Do you promise to be nicer from now on?"

"Yes..."

"Good," he responds. He immediately picks me up, and kisses me on the forehead. "Now, let's get you ready for going outside."

I look up at him in surprise. "You're not angry?" I ask.

"Of course not," he responds, smiling down at me. "Just don't do that again, alright?"

I nod, smiling as I wrap my forelegs around his neck. He pauses as he hugs me back.

"You're the best," I announce with a grin.

"And so are you," he responds. "Let's go get you ready."

I nod, and he carries me to the backyard door. He quickly puts a bit of bug spray on me, puts a new diaper for playing in the dirt on me, and then pulls a shirt over my head.

"There," he whispers. "Now, for your little hoofsies..." He puts some little boots that he sewed himself on my hooves, and I smile at the design: he had each of us draw a design for our own hoof boots on a piece of paper, and mine is the color of my fur striped with the color of my hair. I don't know what the name of those colors are, though. But I found the ones that looked the closest in the crayon box. Couldn't read the names, though: the letters weren't big enough.

"So, just wait here, and I'll-"

He's interrupted by a loud clattering noise, and a chorus of laughter. Then there's another clatter, and the crying starts. I expect him to sigh: Uncle Charles always does whenever there's trouble. However, all he does is give a little playful smile as he darts off to deal with whatever's going on. I follow him, and watch as he picks up Jacky's bowl off of the floor, then picks up Dashie's, and, turning the bowls upside down, puts them on both of their heads.

"If you didn't want to eat from them, you could've just asked for hats," Daddy announces. Jacky giggles, and Dashie stops crying as she giggles, too. Daddy picks them both up, and brings the into the kitchen. I hide behind the wall as he scolds and cleans them.

"So, who did what first?"

"I knocked down Apples' bowl," Dashie immediately announces. I don't know why, but when Daddy scolds here she immediately loosens up. "And then Apple hit my bowl for rev...uh...for getting back at me."

Daddy smiles, and makes them promise to be nice to each other. They do, and Daddy quickly washes off their hair before picking up a sponge to get up the milk. Then he comes back in, and I return of the backyard door.

"Let's get you two into your outdoor wear," Daddy announces. I watch as he changes them, and make a mental note to observe Big Mac: I want to know if boys are different there.

Once Daddy's done with everything, I look at Jacky and Dashie's boots.

Jacky has orange boots with bits of yellow, green, and red in them, and they look nice. She chose yellow green and red because apples are her favorite snacks.

Rainbow Dash has a mess of colors on her boots, and they match her mane: rainbow-styled and crazy.

"You guys wait here," Daddy announces. "I'll go get everyone else."

We nod, and begin to play. We all take stances at different spots, and throw out our hooves.

"Go, Electrike!" I shout. "I like Electrike because it's cute!"

"Go, Ho-Oh!" Dashie cries. "I like Ho-Oh because it leaves my hair behind!"

"Go, Hitmonlee!" Jacky shouts. "I like Hitmonlee 'cus it's strong!"

We all stare at each other, and I make the first move. "Electrike, use Thunder Wave on Ho-Oh! It's super effective - Ho-Oh fainted!"

"Hey! No fair!" Rainbow Dash shouts. "Ho-Oh's a legendary!"

"So? Electrike can still do massive damage if it's level one hundred!"

Dashie sighs. "Fine, next Pokémon..." She reels back her foreleg, then throws it outward. "Go, Hercules!"

"Hercules isn't a Pokémon, stupid," Jacky mutters.

"So? This is imagination! We can do whatever we want!"

"Fine, then!" I shout. "Then come back, Electrike! Go, Mary Poppins!"

"Not fair!" Jacky protests. "I want a good character, too! Come back, Hitmonlee! Go, uh..." She pauses, and thinks for a moment before sending out a character. "Go, Beast! Y'know, from Beauty and the Beast?"

"Well, duh," Dashie responds. "That's obvious, stupid."

"Hey! Don't call me stupid! Beast, bite Hercules' face off! Hercules fainted!"

"Nuh-uh! Hercules is a god! He can't die!"

I grin as I finish charging. "Solar Beam is charged! Use Solar Beam and Hyper Beam at the same time! Beast and Hercules fainted!"

Both Jacky and Dashie are about to argue, but after a moment, they both nod. "Yeah, Hyper Beam with Solar Beam could make anything faint," Dashie admits. "You win."

"Yes!" I shout.

"But I still have one more!" Dashie cries, grinning at me. "Go, me!" She steps into the center, and takes a fighting stance.

"And me, too!" Jacky shouts.

"And me!" I shout.

"Cut!"

"Tackle!"

"Hi Jump Kick!"

"Fly! Rainbow Dash flew up into the air!"

"Sing! Jacky fell asleep!"

"Jacky ate a Chesto Berry!"

"Rainbow Dash used fly!"

I'm knocked aside by the Pegasus as she comes down and hits me. "Ow!" I shout, holding the side of my head as pain sears my face. "That hurt!" I sniffle as I start to cry.

"Oh-sorry," Dashie immediately says. "I'm really sorry!" She shouts, sitting down in front of me with pleading eyes. "Please don't cry...please, I'll get in trouble!"

I can't stop it. I begin to cry, because...it hurts!

"Daddy!" I shout.

Daddy rushes in with two ponies in his arms: Ti-Ti and Scratchy. He sets them down as he picks me up, and I keep crying.

"Oh, sweetheart, what happened?" Daddy whispers to comfort me. "Are you okay? You've got a big bump on your head, baby!"

"Dashie hit me!"

"No I didn't!" Dashie shouts. "It was just a tap, you big baby!"

"Rainbow Dash, did you hit her or not!?" Daddy demands as he kisses the side of my head.

"Yes, Daddy..." Dashie mutters. She's afraid of Daddy when he gets angry. I am, too.

"Are you okay?" Daddy whispers. I nod, and he puts me down before picking up Dashie, and bringing her into the kitchen. Again. I follow, and watch as he scolds her.

"I told you before: we don't hit!"

"But I was just playing!"

"But we still don't hit!" Daddy scolds. "You're going to be punished, Rainbow Dash - no playing with your siblings outside today. You're going to have to sit next to me the whole time - and I'm going to put that leash on you again."

"Daddy, that's no fair!"

"No, it's fair. No flying today, Rainbow Dash. Now, I'm going to take you inside, and you're going to say that you're sorry."

"Yes, Daddy..."

He picks her up again, and I dart back to the room with the readied ponies.

A moment later, Dashie stands before me, sniffling as she looks at me. "I'm sorry for hitting you, Lyra," Dashie says.

"It's okay," I respond. I smile at her, and I feel compassion: she's my sister. I can't just let her be all depressed! "If you want, I'll sit with you when we go outside."

She looks up at me in surprise. "Really? You will?"

"Yeah! You're my sister, and besides, it was all in good fun!" I cry. I pull her into a hug, and I can tell that Daddy is smiling - he's probably very proud of me.

"Thanks, Lyra" she says. "You're the best sister ever."

I smile, and we part after a moment. Daddy prepares our sisters, and Dashie and I sit next to them. When he's done with those sisters, he puts the small backpack-leash on Dashie so she can't fly. She pouts, and I watch as she gets the rest of the ponies ready. I pout myself as he takes Big Mac out of the room to be prepared.

I feel an unexpected weight on my side, and I look to the right in surprise: Derpy is leaning against me. I roll my eyes, but remember that Daddy told us to be nice to her: she's not weird, just different.

Dashie mutters something about being the only one not flying, but stops as she looks up in surprise as Daddy does the same for Tia and Lu-Lu.

"Why are they punished?" Somebody asks.

"Well, they came downstairs early," Daddy announces. "They used the computer, and, well...they blew it up."

"What!?" I shout.

"I didn't blow it up, Tia did!" Lu-Lu whines.

"Because you wouldn't let me have my turn!"

"It wasn't your turn!"

"Stop arguing," Daddy commands. He puts the three leashes in one hand, and picks up Flutters in the other: she's always afraid to go outside at first. Daddy adjusts the small yellow and pink booties on her hooves before walking to the screen door. "Now, come on, kids. You can play around until lunch time, alright?"

We all nod, and Dashie sighs in irritation as Daddy opens the door. Everyone jumps out, but Tia Lu-Lu Dashie Flutters and I stay back. Then he walks through, and closes the door behind him.

"Let's sit over here," Daddy says, softly. He steers us over to a spot under a tree, and sits down with a smile as he watches my siblings starting to play tag.

I sit down next to Dashie, whose leash is now tied to the tree - along with Tia's and Lu-Lu's - and rest smile as I let a cool breeze wash over my body.

"Daddy, can I fly now?" Dashie asks. "Please?"

"No, Rainbow. You're grounded, remember?" He smiles a bit, but I don't get the joke. "We can just relax for now..."

Dashie sighs, and lays down in the grass. I lay down next to her, and rest my head on her shoulder as I close my eyes, and get ready for a nap.

Author's Notes:

Spoilers: next chapter will be in Peter's point of view, and will be a lot longer.

Chapter 23: A Troublesome Day, Part 2.5

I quickly check the knots on the leashes, and nod to myself as I decide that they can't get away - they're completely grounded.

Of course, I have every intention to let them go after a while. Just not right now. They've got to learn that what they did was bad. Oh, and I'll let Rainbow go before I let Celestia and Luna go - she didn't blow up my laptop, did she?

I rest against the tree and close my eyes with a sigh. Without Charles and Tratno here to help, I've been overloaded...of course, it's not like I'd rather spend my time without the ponies. I love them, and they're so freaking

Speaking of adorable, I look down at Fluttershy, who is walking around in the shade of the tree. She remains silent, as usual, as she plods through the grass. She sniffs at something, and picks it up with her mouth: it's a small flower. She brings it over to me, and paws at my hand to get my attention as she presents it. I smile at her as I take it, and ruffle her mane in gentle tender love.

"Thanks, Flutters," I say, softly. "It's beautiful." She flaps her wings once or twice in excitement, then hurries to find more flowers. I watch as she finds a bee, and quickly nuzzles it. It buzzes around her head, and lands on her nose. She sits down in the grass as she watches it with a fascinated smile.

"Daddy, look!" I look towards the source of the voice, and watch as Derpy Hooves jumps through the grass, coming up above the peaks of the green blades as she flaps her wings. "I'm doing it, I'm doing it!"

I smile as she bounds over to me, and catch her before she collides with the tree. "You sure are, sweety," I coo. "You're a great flier!"

"Not as great as me," Rainbow mutters, loud enough for us to hear. Derpy frowns, and I adjust her eyepatch a bit before speaking.

"Yeah, you're not as good as Rainbow Dash," I say, "but you're still really good!"

Derpy grins, and flaps her wings a few times. I let her go so she can practice her flying, and chuckle lightly as she collides with the barrier.

Ah, the barrier. The entire back yard has a huge part partitioned off for the ponies, and it's surrounded by a cube of mesh: so the ponies can't get out, and get hurt. They can't get caught in it if the Pegasus ponies fly too high, though: the mesh is very fine.

I wish I could explain the barrier a bit more, but I wasn't there when it was installed. That is, I was watching a movie with the ponies as it was installed, so I really have no idea how it stays there, even in super windy weather.

I smile as I feel a hoof pawing at my hand again. I look down, and see that Fluttershy has retrieved a few flowers for me, and is holding them in her mouth as she stares up at me with a small smile.

"Are these for me?" I ask as I accept them. She nods, and shows her teeth in a big grin. I look through them, and choose the prettiest one: a small, budding tulip.

"I'm going to give you the prettiest flower," I announce as I tuck the stem behind her ear. "For the prettiest little girl."

She giggles, and hugs my hand and gives it a quick lick before jumping away. I smile as she dives into the grass and watches few bugs jump around.

"So," I announce, turning to look at Celestia and Luna, who are currently facing away from each other, "let's talk, you two."

They both groan in irritation as they turn to face me. "What?" They growl.

"Don't use that tone of voice with me," I warn before continuing. "Now, I want you both to know that I'm very disappointed in you for tricking your sister like that."

Celestia frowns. "What are you talking about?"

"You mean when she tricked me?" Luna asks.

"I didn't trick you, it was your idea!"

"Stop," I command. They stop. "I mean Twilight. She told me that you told her to stand guard, and talked her into coming with you: you used her, and I'm very disappointed in you for doing that. You had her there so you could blame her for it, and we all know what that's called."

"Lying..." Celestia and Luna mutter simultaneously.

"Exactly. And what do I say about lies?"

"They make nice people cry..."

"And do you want nice people to cry?"

"No, Daddy..."

"Exactly. Now, I'm not mad at you for going downstairs to use the computer. I'm disappointed in you for tricking Twilight liked that, but I'm not mad. I'm mad at you for lying."

They look up at me in surprise. "You're not mad that we destroyed the computer?"

"No, not at all," I respond. "I can get a new computer, sweetheart. And all the stuff on it was stored on the Internet, so it's fine."

Celestia and Luna don't understand what that means, so I explain it. In detail.

"The Internet is made out of a bunch of computers that are wirelessly connected to one another. The database that results from this connection makes a bunch of stuff, and it can store all kinds of things! But do you know what people mostly use it for?" They shake their heads, and I smile. "For looking at funny pictures of cats."

They look straight ahead, their eyes zoned up as they struggle to understand the stupidity of humanity. I chuckle lightly as I turn back to Rainbow Dash, and raise an eyebrow in surprise.

Rainbow Dash is watching Fluttershy in caution as the latter plays with a bumble bee, letting it land on her hoof and then fly away with a bout of giggles.

"Bzzzz," Fluttershy mimics the bee. "Bzzzzzzzzzz..."

The bee floats around Fluttershy's head, and lazily lands on the flower behind her ear. Fluttershy grins as it collects pollen, and I smile as Rainbow Dash grabs my hand.

"What if it stings her?" She asks me.

"It won't sting her. Bees only sting if you attack them first, and I doubt that Fluttershy will attack it."

Rainbow nods, and I smile as Fluttershy approaches us.

"Bzzzzzzzzzz..." She whispers.

The bee comes out of the flower, and lands on my nose. I immediately tense, and my eyes widen: I must remain absolutely still.

OhGodohGodohGodohGod...

I hold my breath as I watch it in complete paralyzed fear. I hate bees. I hate them. Ever since I was chased by those wasps that day on a golf course...

After a few moments, the bee finally leaves and I'm left in peace. I let my breath go as it lands on Fluttershy's nose, and Fluttershy smiles at it. The bee then flies away, and the yellow Pegasus waves at it.

"I think you were afraid, Daddy."

I look down at Rainbow Dash, who is trying hard to suppress giggles. "Was not," I retort.

"Then why were you holding your breath?" She asks me.

"I didn't want to make it angry," I respond.

"Boo-hoo," Rainbow teases me. "You were afraid, Daddy."

I smirk at her. "And you weren't? If it had landed on you, I think you would've run away screaming."

She giggles. "Nah, I'd be fine."

I smile, and look down in surprise as Fluttershy climbs onto my lap. She curls into a ball, and starts to take a nap, her wings shuffling a bit in her little pony dreams. I smile as I rest a hand on her back, and close my eyes in relaxation. I promise myself that I won't fall asleep, so I can watch the ponies.

However, the relaxing atmosphere, the fatigue from getting up so early, and the pleasant giggling of the ponies serve to make that an impossibility. As I take a deep breath, I find weariness creeping up on me, and I'm just about to nod off when my phone buzzes against my thigh.

I take it out, and quickly open it, silently praying that Charles says he's on his way back from the U.N. meeting. Tratno will probably end up being reassigned to something, so I don't really know if he'll be coming back or not.

I open my messaging service, and read the text that I just received. It's from Charles, and it says that I have to get on Skype by five o'clock: the U.N. wants to speak with the ponies through a conference call.

I don't know what's stranger: the fact that they want to talk to the ponies, or the fact a that the members of the U.N. use Skype.

I wince as I text back, informing him that Celestia detonated my laptop during a tempter tantrum. He responds as follows:

"Holy fuck."

I chuckle lightly as I respond with "yep," and wait for the next text, which comes in a split second.

"Then use ur phone"

I respond with "k," and check the time: it's ten o'clock. Enough time to let Rainbow Dash stretch her wings for a bit...

I look down at the cyan Pegasus, and see that she's fidgeting. So, I reach down, and open up her leash, much to her delight.

After a quick hug and a wordless thanks, she flies off, flying right by the top of the netting, which isn't really that high up: it's up to the second floor of the estate.

I lean back on the tree as I watch my daughter fly, grinning as she does several barrel rolls and various other tricks: she's a natural at this.

As she flies, I find myself nodding off, and I struggle to remain awake.

However, it proves to be impossible, as my eyes stink like vinegar, and the ponies are all playing so peacefully...

What could go wrong?

Author's Notes:

This is mostly a Segway between 2 and 3, because we all know that shit will definitely go wrong in the Mactylan household.

Chapter 24: A Troublesome Day, Part 3

I'm woken up by the sound of something being destroyed.
I burst into a sitting position, my eyes wide as I realize that I actually slept instead of supervising my kids.
I look down, and see that the only ponies that are remaining are Celestia, Luna, Octavia, Fluttershy, and Twilight. And they're all staring at the house in wide-eyed terror.
I quickly undo the leashes holding Celestia and Luna, and take Fluttershy off of my lap and place her on the ground. I stand, and rush in through the opened back door.
The first thing I notice is Rainbow Dash, sitting on top of our plasma screen television.
Except it's on the floor.
And it's broken.
"Rainbow, what did you do!?" I cry, holding my hands to my head as I walk over the shattered glass. It landed on the table, so it sort of got destroyed even more. Rainbow looks up at me with eyes of pure innocence, and I frown.
"I just wanted to see if I could get in the magic box," Rainbow responds. "But it fell."
I sigh as I pinch my fingers to the bridge of my nose. "Rainbow...just...I'll deal with it later, where're your siblings?"
"Uh...Rarity's in your bedroom."
I wince a bit as I pick up Rainbow Dash, and place her on the couch. I jump up the stairs, and see that Applejack and Big Mac have fallen asleep on the second floor landing. I smile despite myself as I skirt around them.
And my eyes widen as I see what Rarity is doing in my bedroom.
She's drawing a large mural of scribbles and crudely shaped letters with hearts in between. "Rarity, put down the markers!" I shout, snatching all the markers out of her magical grasp. "What are you doing!?"
"I was making a happy drawing on your wall," Rarity responds with a pout, tears coming forth as I ignore her "happy drawing."
"Yeah, it's great," I respond dismissively. "If you wanted to draw it, you should've drawn it on a piece of paper, Rares! Not on the wall!"
Rarity sighs, and sniffles a bit. "I...I'm sorry, Daddy...I just wanted to make you smile..."
My shoulders sag as I look down at her. "I know, sweetheart, but next time, just don't draw on the wall, alright? It's very pretty, baby. And how about you draw it on a piece of paper, and I'll hang it from my wall?"
Rarity wipes her eyes, and nods. "O...okay, Daddy..."
I'm about to pick her up when I hear another smash of destruction. I run down the stairs, and find Derpy Hooves looking down from the bannister of the second floor. A vase from the Civil War lays shattered on the floor, and the flowers and dirt are spread our in a pattern of destruction. "Derpy," I whine. "What are you doing?"
"I wanted it to fly," she responds innocently as she looks back at me. I sigh as I adjust her eyepatch, and pick her up.
"Well, vases don't fly," I inform her. "Now, come on - let's go find your sisters..." I sidestep Applejack and Big Mac again as I walk down the stairs.
I immediately go into the un-renovated parts of the house, where the building used to be a museum. I walk past a few exhibits that have cloths placed over them, as the less popular ones were left here for "storage." I place Derpy on an antique table, give her explicit instructions not to move, and start to search.
"Is anyone there?" I ask. "Hello?"
I hear a bit of giggling, and I smile to myself as I look around a corner. I see a flit of tail, but besides that, there's nothing. I follow the clue, and I hear a bit more giggling as whoever is hiding from me jumps away.
I don't notice that Derpy looks to her left.
I silently make my way over to a covered exhibit, and peer over it to where the pony was hiding. However, I'm greeted by an empty space, and I frown in confusion.
That is, until I feel a pony run between my legs. I smile as I turn, and catch a glimpse of a light green tail. I follow it, and I eventually trick the pony into running right into my arms.
"Hello!" I say sweetly as I catch Lyra. "I've got you!"
Lyra giggles, and hugs me as I win. However, our happiness is cut short by a shout.
"Derpy, get away from my cookie!"
I look back to where I left Derpy, and find that she's not there. I sigh as I place Lyra on the couch, next to the surprisingly docile Rainbow Dash, and search for Derpy Hooves.
I eventually find a good amount of ponies in the kitchen, and I see that Vinyl Scratch and Pinkie Pie are holding their own cookies with looks of trepidation as Derpy tries to get one.
"Guys, give her one," I sigh. "Wait, where'd you-"
I'm interrupted by the sound of a pony crying. My eyes widen as I rush to the source of the noise, and find that Trixie is standing above Twilight, and that the latter is crying.
"What happened?" I demand.
"Twilight said she was better at magic than me," Trixie announces.
"No I didn't! I said I'd help you!" Twilight retorts. "And then you pushed me!"
"I don't need help! I am Great and Powerful, I don't need your help to-"
"Enough!" I shout. "That's enough, you two! The both of you, get into the living room, right now!"
Twilight and Trixie hang their heads as they proceed into the living room. It's then that I check the time, and I see that it's 4:55.
"Fuck," I spit, before sprinting to collect all the kids. I snatch Fluttershy from outside, causing her to cry as a butterfly gets away. I don't have enough time to help her, though, as I only have five minutes to do this.
I run upstairs, and find that Rarity is re-beautifying the wall. I shout at her for not listening to me, causing her to cry, then frantically bring her downstairs, at which point I trip over Applejack. I fall on my back to protect Rarity, and wince as I realize that I have one minute left.
I get Vinyl and Pinkie, ignoring their pleads for the cookies that I force them to leave behind. Celestia, Luna, and Octavia walk in on their own, and I put them on the couch.
"But Daddy, we want to play!" Luna whines as I put her on the couch.
"I don't care," I hiss in response. "We've got something more important to do, Luna!"
She lets out a huff as she crosses her forelegs.
"Alright," I announce, hurrying to set up the Skype call. I sigh as I realize that I left Derpy, Applejack, and Big Mac. I get them, and sigh as I finally log onto Skype.
"All of you, be quiet," I hiss as a few of them start to cry from their lack of whatever it is that they want. "This is very important, alright?"
"Daddy, why are you being so mean?" Celestia asks with a frown.
"Celestia, I don't have time for this," I warn her. "We're going to talk to some of the world leaders, and we've got to do it now, alright?"
Celestia sighs, and I quickly hush the rest of the kids as I wait for the call.
Five fifteen rolls around, and a few of the kids have started to cry again. I tell them to shut up, rather rudely, before continuing, rapidly tapping my foot in irritation as the time passes.
"Daddy, I'm thirsty!"
I sigh. "You can drink when this is over, Pinkie Pie!"
"Daddy, I have to go potty!"
"I'll change your diaper in a minute, we've got to do this right now!"
"But Daddy, I have to pee!"
"This may well determine whether or not you will be able to go to school or not!" I shout, growing impatient as I wait for the call. "If I don't do this, you may never be able to go to school or even go out in public!" I start to mutter impatient grumblings under my breath, desperate for a call.
"Come on, come on," I mutter. This is taking too damn long - this could determine my kid's future!
I sigh as I decide to call Charles. After several moments, he picks up, and I ask him what's going on with the conference call.
"Can't do it today," he responds. "North Korea is threatening to launch nukes, so NATO is sort of doing stuff."
My eye twitches as I hear that. "What. Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"Well, I tried to call you, but you didn't pick up, so I texted you. I had assumed that you'd read it, you know?"
I run my hand through my hair as I lean back on the couch with a sigh of exaggerated exasperation. The first thing I feel is regret for yelling at my kids like that, and the second thing I feel is determination to make things right...
"Charles, I've got to go," I sigh. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Uh, yeah...hey, you okay?" Before he can continue, I hang up the phone, and toss it onto the table, forgetting that the television had effectively shattered the glass. It falls straight through, and I cringe as I hear the phone get impaled by a shard of glass.
Brilliant.
"Daddy, I went poopy..." Pinkie Pie mutters, her voice small and distant.
"Let's take care of that," I announce, picking her up as I kiss her on the crown of her head. I bring her into the changing room on the first floor, and once she's in a clean diaper, I put her on my bed upstairs, away from the dangerous shards of glass. Why I didn't do that before, I don't know.
"Who else needs a diaper change?" I ask. They all raise their hooves, except for Pinkie Pie, and my shoulders sag a bit.
"Alright," I announce. "One at a time."
I change each of them, and as I do, they all keep absolutely still, probably petrified that I'll be angry if they play with me. I sigh as I carry the last pony to my bedroom, and I sigh as I sit down with them.
"Are you guys okay?" I ask. "Did I scare you?"
"No...you just seemed to be really stressed out...so we kept quiet..." Celestia says, softly.
"Well, I was," I respond. "Thank you. You're all very sweet."
"And besides, you didn't scare me!" Rainbow Dash declares. "I'm too brave, remember?"
I smile at her, and poke her in the tummy. She giggles before retreating to stand next to Fluttershy. I sigh as I sit up, and look between them.
"So...are you tired?" I ask. They shake their heads.
"We're hungry," they reply.
"Duh," I mutter, slapping my hand to my forehead, and eliciting a few laughs from the ponies. I tell them to keep still before rushing down the stairs and preparing dinner. I bring it back up to them, watch them eat, and then bring them into their cradles for beddy-by.
Once they're asleep, I set about cleaning up the glass from the television and table, and the ceramic shards from the vase. I discard of them, and push the television outside to rest by the destroyed computer. I sigh as I return into my house, and let the silence envelop me.
No computer...
No television...
Looks like I've got some errands to run.
Fuck. My. Life.

Author's Notes:

Aphpouhsapiufbsrapifunaspif ending it here
This was written throughout the course of a full school day, so...yeah.
I hope you're happy.
Sluts.

Chapter 25: The Zoo, Part 1

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, I'm sure. You take seven, and I take seven: that way, they can move around, but I can keep my eyes on all of them. Besides, I reserved a personal tour: we'll be the only ones at the zoo. It's good timing, too, because everyone should be at work today. So, tomorrow, when they're off from work, they can still take their kids there. Oh, and we also get to go into the aquarium area - they're going to love it."

I smile up at Daddy, holding his thumb so I can stay in place. He smiles down at me, and tickles my chin with a finger. I give a silent giggle as he cradles me.

"So, when are we going?"

"Well, we should get them ready now. It's actually sort of lucky that I scheduled the zoo trip for today - 'cus when it's over, I'll be going to pick up a new computer, cell phone, and television. But not a table - that thing was ugly. I'm actually happy that it's gone..."

The Nice Lady chuckles a bit, and reaches to touch me. But I shy away from her finger: I don't like it when others touch me. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I only let Dashie and Daddy touch me because they're family.

"Awww, Fluttershy, you don't have to hide from me," the Nice Lady assures me. I ignore her by burying my face in Daddy's side.

"Don't be rude, Fluttershy," Daddy whispers. "She's just being nice. You shouldn't shut her out like that." I look to the Nice Lady in caution. She smiles at me, and I give her a tiny smile back. "There." He shifts his attention to the Nice Lady. "So, let's get 'em ready, hm?"

The Nice Lady nods, and Daddy puts me down in my cushioned chair. I immediately frown as the niceness leaves: it doesn't feel right in this chair. I raise my hooves towards Daddy, and he just smiles as he kisses me on the forehead. "I'll be right back, sweetheart. I promise." I nod as he leaves to get my siblings.

A few eternities later, Daddy brings back everybody with him, and so does the Nice Lady. They each have all of my siblings on separate leashes and harnesses, all of them with a different friend on them. Daddy puts the leash loops in his pocket as he starts to put mine on. I smile as I feel it restraining me, and keeping me nice and tight: the harness is nice and fuzzy and warm, and Buzzy Bee is on the back, smiling like all bees do when they're happy in the summer. I give Buzzy's antenna a little nip so he knows I'm there to keep him safe: Daddy says that if the harnesses come off, we'd lose our friends! And I don't want to lose Buzzy Bee. Even if I do, I'll still have Bravery Bee, but he's not a backpack that can go everywhere with me...

"Alright, come on," Daddy calls, holding seven of the leash loops in his hands. I grin as I realize that I'm walking with Dashie, Rarity, and Derpy: they're my bestest best best friends!

"Daddy, are we going back to the City-Place? I liked it there - it was pretty!" Rarity exclaims.

"Yer' stupid, that place sucked!" I turn, and see that Appley is walking with the Nice Lady.

"No name-calling," Daddy reminds her. Appley sighs. "And yes, Rarity, we are - but we're going to a very special place, and one that doesn't look like the city."

"Then...it's not the city-place?" Rarity asks.

"No, it is. It's just a very, very special place. Now, come on, guys - let's get to the car."

"Oh, we have to go in the car!?" Dashie complains. "But I hate the car! I can't fly or anything in there..."

"Yeah, well, it's a necessary evil," Daddy responds. "Besides, you won't be in there for long, you'll only be in there for about...a half hour or so. And Barbara will be back there with you, so you can talk to her if you want."

As he speaks, Daddy opens the car door, and puts all of us in. He straps us into the seats that he has attached to the inside of the car, and Rainbow Dash pouts as she's put into the seat that she shares with me.

"I don't wanna be in the car," she grumbles. I let out an involuntary yawn as I rub my eyes. I'm sleepy...

"Rainbow Dash, you'll like where we're going," Daddy announces. "We get to have ice cream after!"

Rainbow Dash sits bolt upright, and her wings expand, slapping me in the eye. I let out a mew of discomfort as I rub my now-stinging eye with a hoof. "Ice cream!?" She cries.

"Daddy, can I get cake batter ice cream!?" Twily shouts.

"Can I get that French Chocolate stuff?" Octavia asks.

Daddy smiles to himself as he starts the car, and the Nice Lady Barbara shuts the door, and sits down between a few of the seats. Applejack immediately smiles at her. "You can all get whatever you want, guys. But not yet - after we go to the zoo!"

"What's a zoo, Daddy?" Twilight asks, voicing my question. I yawn as I slump into the seat, and start to let my eyes slowly close...

"You'll see," Daddy responds.

"Oh, is it a surprise? I love surprises!" Pinkie shouts. I frown, and squirm so I can get my wings wrapped around my ears: her voice is so shrill...

"Yes, it's a surprise," I hear Daddy chuckle past the muffling of my feathers. "Now, why don't you kids go ahead and nap until we get there - it's at least an hour drive..."

A few of the ponies groan, especially Rainbow Dash, who pokes me in the side. I open my eyes reluctantly as I look to her. "Can you believe we'll be stuck in this thing for one hour!?" She demands. I blink at her, frowning as I try to think of what to say. After a few moments, she rolls her eyes. "Fine, whatever, be like that..."

"Sorry," I mumble, my voice barely a whisper.

"It's fine," Rainbow mutters. "You're just so boring sometimes..."

I frown. I'm boring? Oh, I don't wanna be boring...maybe I should talk more...for Dashie?

"I'm really sorry," I inform her, adding a total of three words to my registrar. Rainbow Dash shrugs.

"Whatever..." She mutters. She turns around, and starts to talk to Twily. I sigh as I snuggle into the comfortable backing of my seat.

However, my peace is short lived, as I feel the car seat depressing as Nice Lady Barbara sits down next to my seat. I open my eyes, and look up at her, trembling a bit as I take in how humongous she is...

"Hi, there," she says to me, smiling as she buckles herself in. "D'you mind if I sit here with you?"

I shake my head, fearful of what will happen if I deny her the seat. She smiles down at me, and immediately leans back on the leathery seat. She sighs, and closes her eyes. After a few moments of me watching her, she looks backs to me and smiles.

"So, Fluttershy, do you like animals?" She asks me. I nod, and she smiles. "I do, too. What's your favorite animal?"

I squirm so she can see Buzzy Bee. She lets out a little "ah," and pokes Buzzy on the nose. I immediately twist my neck to check on him, and make sure he's alright.

"Bees are very cool insects," she informs me. "Did you know that they use their honey to feed their young?" I nod. I read the books Daddy gave me - they were all very detailed about the bee, especially the Magic School Bus one. "Would you like to have a pet bee?"

I gasp at the idea, and nod fervently. However, I quickly give Buzzy another nip, to let him know that he'll always be my Buzzy.

"What about spiders? Do you like spiders?"

"I like spiders!" Somepony shouts. I turn my head to see Rarity, grinning up at Nice Lady.

"Oh? What do you like about them?" She asks.

"They, uhm...they use their, uhm...silk! They use their silk to make super pretty patterns!" I smile as I remember the spider web that Daddy had showed us that one time. The only bad thing was that there was a poor little moth stuck in the web - but Daddy said not to do anything. He said that it's a part of nature, and that while it may seem scary, it's just natural, and is what keeps everything balanced and alive. Which actually made me happy, in a weird way. It means everything is working like it should in the world.

"That's right, they do!" Nice Lady responds. "But I'm surprised you would like spiders - aren't they sort of scary?"

"No, they're cute! They have all those legs for cuddling!" Rarity turns to show her the stuffed spider that has its eight legs wrapped around her. "Like Cathleen!"

"You named your spider Cathleen?" Nice Lady asks. "That's not a very spider-y name..."

"She doesn't need a spider-y name: a name's a name, and nothing can change! That..." She pouts. "Oh, I couldn't rhyme it..."

Nice Lady smiles. "Keep trying, Rarity."

Rarity nods, and starts to mumble lines to herself. I turn back around to look to Dashie, who is struggling to turn in the seat so she can see Twilight easier. I smile as I squirm a bit to let her turn, but it doesn't work. I shrug to myself as I rest my chin on her shoulder.

"Really? Cookies have tastiness?" Twilight asks. "Oh, Dashie, that's so neat! You're almost as smart as me!"

"Almost as smart!?" Dashie shouts. "No way! I'm just as smart as you!"

"No, you're not," Twilight retorts. "If you were, you'd know how to multiply and divide!"

"I do! One times two is two; two divided by -"

"At the same time."

Rainbow falls silent, and stares at Twilight for a second. After the second, she turns back around to face forward, forcing me to pull my chin back, and crosses her hooves with a pout. I smile as I hug her.

"It's okay," I whisper to her. "You're still really smart! You've just got to learn!"

"Shut up," Rainbow mutters.

I sigh as I pull away, and stare down at my hooves. "That's not very nice, Rainbow," the Nice Lady announces. "You shouldn't tell your sister to shut up - she was just trying to help you."

I look up at the Nice Lady, and she smiles down at me. I smile back, and look to Rainbow Dash with the same smile.

"Fine," Rainbow sighs. "I'm sorry, Fluttershy..."

"It's okay," I announce as I hug her again. Rainbow Dash smiles, and hugs me back. I close my eyes as I prepare to take a nap, my vision distorted by the tiredness in my eyes...

"Fluttershy, could you..."

"Oh, sorry," I say as I lean off of her.

"Thanks," she mutters. I nod, and close my eyes for a nap. For reals this time...

Conversation continues around me as I fall asleep, and I feel a bit bad because I'm sort of shunning them all, but I'm too tired to talk a lot and -

I'm woken up by violent shaking.

"Wake up, we're here!" Rainbow shouts at me. I open my eyes groggily, blinking the haze away as I look around.

"Where?" I ask.

"The zoo!" Rainbow responds. She pauses as she thinks. "Whatever that is..."

I frown as I feel the buckles falling away, and a gentle hand lifting me up. I'm put down outside, and I hear a zipping noise. I look up, and see that my leash has been joined with six other leashes by a ringy thing. I think Daddy called them zip ties...

"Alright, guys," Daddy announces. I look to where the leashes lead, and I see that I'm conjoined with Rarity, Dashie, Derpy, Lyra, Octavia, and Vinyl Scratch. I smile as I take a deep breath: it smells really nice here...very calming...

"Daddy, I thought you said we were going to the city place," Rarity whines.

"We are. But we're at a very special place."

"But there's no concrete or anything! It's all dirt and trees!"

I look around, and see that she's right - we're parked on a dirt parking lot. I look around, and realize that we're not very close to the city. We're more or less in a sort of wild area...

I jump as I hear a scary noise coming from the place behind me. I run behind Daddy, holding onto his leg in defense.

"It's alright," Daddy urges as he picks me up. "That was just an elephant!"

I gulp, but Daddy puts me down, and starts to walk away. "Let's go," he announces. "We've only got a few hours..."

I start to walk with the leash, and hurry to keep up with him: I need his protection!

"What's in there?" I hear Twilight ask. "It sounds scary..."

"You'll see," Daddy announces. "Don't worry, it's nothing to be afraid of."

"Hah! I wasn't even afraid in the first place!" Rainbow Dash announces. A sudden blast of noise causes her to jump into the air in obvious fear. I chuckle lightly, and she pouts at me. "Shut it, you," she grumbles.

I'm about to apologize when I feel something bump into me. I turn in surprise, and see that it's Derpy Hooves. I smile as I help her keep steady. Her wings flap once or twice, and her rump comes up a centimeter off of the ground. She giggles as she lets her legs fall back down onto the ground with an audible thump.

I smile as I do the same, my wings free from the specially-made leash that Daddy made for each of us. Because of the way it is, my wings are free to move however I want them to: I just have to fit my wings through the sides first, when I'm putting it on. It doesn't hurt: Daddy makes sure of that.

"Daddy, why is it so dirty?" Rarity asks. "I thought we were going to the city!"

"Because there are animals here," Daddy responds. "Come on, let's go into the entrance building - we can get our tour guide. And Rarity, I've already told you - this is part of the city. People from cities come to places like these to enjoy themselves!"

Rarity pouts, but doesn't say any more.

I smile to myself, and sigh in relief as we enter the building. The air conditioning is on - makes it much better than it is outside, for sure...

"Daddy, is if alright if I fly?" Rainbow Dash asks. "Like, just so I don't have to walk?"

"Sure," Daddy responds. "Just make sure not to go higher than my shoulder, alright?"

"Okay!" With that, Dashie jumps up, and flies up to just above Daddy's waist. She grins as she keeps herself aloft, and I can't help but feel a bit jealous. I always wish I could fly like Dashie, if only so I could say hello to the birdies in the morning...

"Hi," Daddy announces to a stranger. I make sure to keep my eyes away from the strangers', as she's looking at all of us - it makes me feel uncomfortable.

As Daddy and the stranger continue to talk, I decide to busy myself with my sisters. At first, we're just giggling as we play a simple game with each other: a staring contest. I look over at Twilight, Celestia, Luna, Applejack, Big Mac, Pinkie Pie, and Trixie to see what they're doing. Twilight, Celestia, Luna, and Trixie are all having some sort of conversation. Applejack and Big Mac are standing together in silence, as they usually do. And Pinkie Pie is standing alone, staring off into space.

I frown as I leave the trio of sisters I've been staring at, and move to join Pinkie Pie. I try to catch her attention, but she seems to be completely ignoring me.

"Pinkie Pie?" I ask softly. I poke her a few times, then wave a hoof in front of her face. She looks to me with a smile.

"Hi," she chirps. "What's up?"

"Are you okay? You were just...staring..."

"Look," Pinkie Pie orders, grabbing me and squeezing me to my side. I cringe as she does so, and struggle to see what she's pointing-

At...

I gasp as I move as close as I can to look at it, straining against my leash in the process. I grin as I watch the caterpillars move around in the small display, munching on leaves and crawling with their cute little stubby legs...

I twitch of movement catches my eye, and I gasp again as a chrysalis moves. I watch it with a grin, giggling as it slowly splits open.

Within moments, a butterfly has emerged, and I'm giggling in joy as I bounce. A few of the ponies have joined me, and are staring at the emerged butterfly.

"Wow," Twilight breathes. "It's pretty!"

"You guys like that?"

We turn to see that Daddy is looking down at us with a small smile. I nod fervently, not really paying attention to anypony else as I stare up at Daddy, wondering what this marvelous place is...

"Well, we've got a lot more to see," he announces with a grin. "Come on - let's get to it."

I grin as he and the Nice Lady lead us through the door heading into a wide open, natural area. Within moments, I'm absorbed in the sights, smells, and sounds, and I can't wait to see it all...

Author's Notes:

I've decided to split up this chapter into two different parts due to the fact that the content will be different in each.
Also, how do you like the new format of separating different portions like that? Should I do that to all the chapters already up so new readers will enjoy it more?

Chapter 26: The Zoo, Part 2/Seizure

I grin to myself as Twilight lets out cries of fascination.

"Look, Rainbow! D'you see that? That's where the mouse is digesting! It's entire body is a stomach!"

Rainbow Dash sighs. "Yeah, well, it'd better hurry up and digest, 'cus it's super boring..."

I smile as the snake seems to give Rainbow Dash an irritated blink. Rainbow simply sticks her tongue out at it, and turns to me. "Daddy, can we go see the cooler animals now?" She begs.

"I think this is cool," Fluttershy says softly.

"Sure," I respond. "And Fluttershy, snakes are cool, but this snake is tired. You should give it time to digest, okay?"

Fluttershy nods, and Barbara follows me with the ponies leashed to her. I have to pause so I don't choke Fluttershy as she presses her face to the glass. The snake slowly slithers towards her, curious as to the new addition to its environment.

"Bye bye, Mr. Snakey," she announces. "I hope you have a good rest!" The tongue flicks its tongue out, and Fluttershy giggles as she trots away to join us.

The next reptile we visit is the alligator. As soon as we do, Pinkie lets out a gasp that should be too loud for he to make, and practically slams her face into the glass.

"They're so adorable!" She cries. Pressing her hooves against the glass, she looks up to me. "Daddy, can we get one? Can we can we?" Her eyes begin to water, and I smile as I shake my head.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but they're very dangerous wild animals," I inform her. She pouts as she collapses onto her haunches, crossing her forelegs and refusing to budge after all the other ponies are done observing.

"C'mon, Pinks," I urge with a sigh. "I promise, I'll get you a lizard, alright? But I can't get you an alligator - they're too dangerous."

"Hmph!" Is all she has to say. I sigh as I kneel down.

"Pinkie Pie, I didn't want to have to do this, but if you don't get up right now, then you're grounded for the next three days," I inform her. She gasps and stares at me as if I'm the devil himself.

"But Daddy, that's no fair!"

"It's very fair," I respond. "And if you don't get up, I'll make sure it's for a week!"

Pinkie Pie frowns, and her lower lip begins to quiver. After a while, she lets out a groan and stands, silently following her siblings as we walk.

After several more animals, we come to a display of Walruses. As we do, we're pleasantly surprised to find that it's feeding time. I put the ponies up on the boundary, against the glass, so they can watch. They all giggle as the walruses begin to put on a show for them. They try to speak to me, but since they're all doing so at once, all I can do is nod and try to answer one or two questions.

A little while later, we've come to the food plaza. After getting a fuck-ton of food for them, a few of the staff join some tables, give us some booster seats, and prepare us for our dining experience.

I smile as the ponies all talk about their favorite animals. They flip through the coloring books before them, and each choose a separate animal to color in. I'm intrigued by their choices, as Vinyl Scratch decides to color in a Chinchilla. She gives it a cape and super powers. Because...Chinchillas.

I help Derpy to color in her animal: a platypus. I gently help her to hold each of the crayons, and eventually let her do it herself. It isn't until she tries to eat one of those crayons that I step in again.

After all of that, we end up going through the rest of the zoo. Well, most of it - some of it is under construction. Fluttershy absolutely loved the elephants, and it took fifteen minutes to convince Rainbow Dash to leave the sloths alone. As she left, the only thing she could keep asking was: "how could something stand going so slow and being so dumb!?"

After that, we enter the gift shop. Barbara and I split up to explore the shop, as the ponies are all rather excited. If I were to guess, I'd say this is what they were looking forward to the most. Well, that and the ice cream.

Rainbow Dash decides to get a stuffed Cheetah. She doesn't so as much: she grabs one off of the shelf, and then, flying as fast as she can go, she shoves it right into my face, making it let loose a threatening growl, and then give me a quick boop on the nose. She gave me a silly grin as she hugs it to herself.

Fluttershy decides to get a rabbit stuffed animal. She picks it up and holds it to herself, nipping at its ears playfully and affectionately. She seems to really like it, as-

"Daddy? Something's wrong with Derpy..."

WARNING: IF YOU HATED ME FOR GIVING DERPY A BRAIN TUMOR, YOU WILL WANT ME DEAD FOR THIS NEXT PART.

I rush over to Twilight, panic lacing through my veins as I spot the gray Pegasus, twitching as she lies on the ground, her uncovered eye wide with fear.

"Barbara!" I shout as I struggle to open her clenched jaw, my panicked voice on the edge of hysteria. "Call an ambulance!"

"What!?" She cries, immediately making her way over to me.

"Derpy's having a seizure!" I shout without looking up.

I finally manage to pry Derpy's jaw open, hopefully without hurting her, and I search for something I can use to hold her tongue down. After realizing that I have nothing to do so with, I silently curse to myself, and, steeling my nerves, shove my middle finger into her mouth and use it to wrestle her tongue into submission. As I do, I lose my grip on her jaw, and it slams shut around my finger. I let out a cry of unending pain as her teeth pierce the skin, but I know that the sacrifice is worth it.

"They're on their way," I hear Barbara breathe. "You've got her - holy shit, Peter! What the fuck is wrong with you!?"

My eyes twitch as her jaw clenches further down. "I know, I know - it was the only thing I had!"

Barbara shakes her head, her eyes wide as she ties the leashes she's holding to a shelf. "I'll get something," she announces. "Just...ugh!" With that, she takes off, searching frantically for something I can use to hold down the filly's tongue.

As she does so, I do my best to block out the pain as I look Derpy in the eye. Tears are forcing their way out, and she's staring at me as if I ask why this is happening to her. My hand shaking, I place it on the side of her face, gently stroking her cheek in as comforting a way as I can.

"It's going to be alright," I whisper, my voice wavering with pain and fear. My tears end up joining her own on the carpet. "It's going to be okay, Derpy - you're going to be okay. I promise. Just be brave, sweetheart..."

A high-pitched whimper escapes from the back of her throat. I clench my eyes shut as her jaw tightens a bit more.

It feels like an eternity when two on-site personnel arrive, and one of them grabs me by the shoulder.

"Mr. Mactylan, the clerk here sent for us, we're going to take care of your pon- I mean, daughter, okay?"

I nod, and one of them starts to pry open her jaw, carefully and gently. As soon as the other has a small, wooden implement ready to hold down Derpy's tongue, I whip my finger back, howling in pain as I instinctively clutch it. It's then that Barbara comes back in, and sighs in relief as she sees that the men have her secured. She unties the leashes from the shelf, and joins me on the bench where I'm struggling to comfort the ponies.

"Daddy, is she going to be okay?"

"Why did you put your finger in her mouth?"

"D-D-Daddy? Wh-what's going on, I'm sc-sc-scared!"

I try my best to calm them, but I can't think past the searing pain. After a moment, Barbara rests a hand on my shoulder, and forces me to show her my finger. My eyes widen as I see what happened.

Despite her herbivorous teeth, she still managed to do quite a number on my skin. It's been pierced, and is beginning to bleed - and a lot.

Out of everything that's happened, the sight of my finger having been almost bitten in half is what causes me to black out. The last thing I hear is Barbara cursing as she fails in her struggle to force me to remain conscious.

Author's Notes:

Yeah...
Please don't hate me, it had to be done...

Please?
If it makes you feel any better...

I thoroughly enjoyed writing this chapter...

But I felt really bad when I published it...

Chapter 27: A Scene in a Hospital

I sit on the chair, my bandaged finger elevated so it doesn't send searing agony through my mind when it touches something.

In the playpen before me, the ponies innocently play with the miniature roller-coasters, as I like to call them: a mess of metal rods, looping and hooping around each other, on which wooden blocks can be slid around. Rainbow Dash is absolutely fascinated with the track of rainbow spheres.

I sigh as I look down at the chart in my lap. It's all stuff I already know: tumor damn near the center of her brain, difficult to remove at best, fatal to remove at worst.

I grit my teeth as I toss it to the side in a fit of emotion and rest my face in my palms. I hear the ponies stop playing, and I know they're watching me in surprise and concern. I pay them no mind.

"Mr. Mactylan, she's conscious," a doctor announces. I'm up and to the door before he can say anything else. Before I have a chance to burst into the hallway that will lead to her room, he gently stops me with a raised hand. "But be careful. Too much activity could excite her and cause another seizure. Her brain is in a very delicate spot."

I nod. "Understood."

The doctor nods in return. "Then follow me."

I motion for Barbara to stay in the room to watch the ponies. She nods.

When I arrive at Derpy's room, I find that they've used a veterinary set-up to monitor her vitals. It's what I expected, given that we are in an animal hospital. It disgusts me to think of Derpy as anything other than human, but she can't be treated like one, now can she?

The small gray Pegasus' lazy eye is covered by a new eyepatch, and her other eye is focused on the sheet beneath her. I gently rap on the door, and she gives me a small smile as she sees me approaching.

"Hey," I whisper as I sit on the edge of her bed. "How're you feeling, sweetheart?" I take her hoof in my hand.

"I'm scared," she whispers in return. "What's going on, papa?"

I smile sadly as I bend down to kiss her on the forehead. "Don't be scared, sweetie," I advise her. "The people here are just making sure that you're okay. They're going to help you."

She immediately wraps her forelegs around my neck in a desperate hug. I smile as I adjust my position so I can comfortably hug her back. "Papa...what happened? Why couldn't I move, Papa?"

I shush her as I stroke her mane. "It's okay baby," I say softly. "You've got to calm down, okay? Just trust me - everything will be alright. I promise."

She sniffles into my shoulder. "Alright...I trust you, Papa..."

I smile. "Good. All you've got to know is that...life is going to be tough for you. It's going to be scary, and you'll have to face challenges that most other people won't have to face."

"But...why Papa?"

"I don't know, love," I admit. "But I want you to know that I'll be with you every step of the way, alright? You'll always have me, no matter how hard life gets."

She sniffles. "Okay..."

"And maybe one day, things will get easier. We won't know until we get to that day."

Derpy nods into my shoulder. "Okay..."

I smile as I kiss her on the cheek. "Now, you should get some rest, baby...I'll stay here with you, okay? Whenever you're sleepy, I'll go so you can rest."

Derpy nods again. She doesn't say anything this time, so I just kiss her again.

A little while later, she announces that she's tired, so I put her down and gently tuck her in. I proceed to return to the waiting room, where the ponies are drilling Barbara for answers.

"What's wrong with her?""

Will she be alright?"

"Is it contagious?"

"Why'd she bite Daddy?"

"Why won't Daddy tell us anything?"

"Where is she?"

"Why isn't she here?"

"Why couldn't she move?"

As I approach, the questions stop, and the ponies shrink in fear of what I'll do for asking so many questions. I sigh as I step into the play pen, and motion for the ponies to sit with me. They crowd around and on me, either sitting in my lap or leaning against my knees.

I gently and carefully explain it to them, making sure to avoid the fact that Derpy has a fatal tumor. I do explain that she has a growth on her brain, but not that it's fatal. I tell them why they have to be extra gentle with the poor Pegasus when they go in to see her later, and manage to satiate most of their questions. I explain what a seizure is, and why I put my finger into her mouth. I tell them that the words Barbara and I used when we panicked were very, very bad words, and that I never ever want to hear them say them, ever.

Once I'm done explaining, I take a deep breath, and pull the ponies in for a group hug. They smile, and I sigh as my phone begins to ring. I answer it after several moments. It's Charles.

He's asking, "what the fuck is going on!? Tratno just told me that he got word that you checked into a fucking animal hospital! What the fuck did you do!?" Verbatim.

I explain the seizure, and he sighs. He tells me that he's leaving today, because the meetings are finally over, and because he has a moral obligation to see Derpy. I smile at the sentiment, and I don't protest the idea. Unfortunately, Tratno won't be coming with him due to personal reasons.

I sigh as we both hang up after a sparse conversation. I drop the phone onto my seat, and I shake my head as I sit.

Why? Is all I can think. I find myself agreeing with Derpy's confusion.

Why? Why? Why?

Author's Notes:

Waffles
I wrote this while extremely tired.
Be happy.
Or, rather, be saddened, as is the purpose of this scene.

Chapter 28: A New Hope

"Mister Mactylan, a word please?"

I nod, and quickly exit the small room to join the doctor after giving the small, sleeping filly a quick peck on the forehead. Derpy Hooves remains silent in her sleep as I slip out. The other ponies remain silent as well, as they're at home with Charles and Barbara.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Let's go to my office," he suggests. I nod. My palms sweat my knees wobble my stomach churns and I'm scared. What's going on? Why is he taking me to his office? And why at eleven o'clock? The first thing I think of is bad news, which is never a good thing to do. It makes me scared and I am very scared.

When we arrive at his office, we sit down across from each other and he clears his throat before beginning.

"You are aware that your, ah...daughter, has a brain tumor, correct?"

I nod.

"And you were told that it was at the center of her brain?"

I nod again.

"Well, we believe that may be incorrect."

I sit bolt upright. "What?"

"We looked at the scans that your friend, Barbara, took of Miss Hooves' brain, and we found that the tumor was enlarged by an error in the apparatus."

"Wait...an error?" I lean forward, my heart hammering in my chest. "I didn't think these things could make mistakes like that..."

"It wasn't a machine meant for detecting tumors," he responds. "It was only meant to show a rough diagram of the brains' activity. That's why we've scheduled several different scans for your, daughter, in the morning." He has to force himself to say "daughter" rather than...whatever. I don't comment on it.

"Alright," I respond. "And...what do you hope to find?" I ask, hope kindling in my chest.

"If we're right about this," he begins, "then it's possible that your daughters' tumor could be removed."

My jaw drops, and I immediately take the doctors' hand and shake it.

"Thank you, so much, Doctor Fischbach," I announce. "This is great - oh, this is awesome!"

"Mister Mactylan, we don't know for sure yet," he gently reminds me. "We may be wrong."

"But there's still a chance," I respond with a grin. He nods.

"That's true. Now, if you don't mind, I've got to fill out the paperwork for your daughters' scans..."

I nod with a grin. "Thank you!" I chirp before exiting his office and practically bouncing back to Derpy's room.

As I flompf onto the couch, I fish out my smartphone and shoot off two texts: one to Charles and one to Barbara. I roll onto my back and look over at Derpy, who's still sleeping soundly in her bed. Her hoof is hanging over the edge, and I reach over to gently grasp it.

I smile as I fall asleep.

Author's Notes:

Yay for cliffhangers

I was originally going to put the next morning in this chapter, too, but I was too lazy to do that. Plus, I just finished kayaking and doing a pre-lab assignment for my summer engineering course. I'm fucking tired as hell and I just wanna take a nap.

Chapter 29: Good News, Everybody!

"Papa?"

"Yes, Derpy?"

"...will it hurt?"

I smile at her. "No. No, it won't hurt at all." I bend down to kiss her on the forehead. "I promise, sweetheart."

"Okay..." I back away, and step into the observation room - along with Barbara and the ponies. Charles would come, but he's doing...

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=qYlpa9mJyMk&t=16]

(Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Besides, this is an upbeat chapter anyway.)

As the small bed holding Derpy is retracted into the machinery, I feel something soft brushing against my hand. I assume that one of the ponies are trying to grab my hand, but when I look down to smile at them, I see that it's Barbara. I look up at her, and she's staring straight at the machinery, an intense blush on her cheeks. I feel a blush of my own creeping into my cheeks as I turn my attention back to the room, and firmly grasp Barbara's hand.

A little while later, Derpy is crying and complaining about how noisy it was. I smile as I comfort her, and bring everypony back to the hospital room as we wait for the results to be thoroughly analyzed.

As I sit on the couch, the world becomes a sort of haze. I barely notice the ponies giggling and playing with each other as I wait for the news. Barbara entertains them as I struggle to fight off a panic attack.

It's another half hour before a doctor finally walks in. I immediately stand up, accidentally knocking a napping Rainbow Dash off of my lap, who immediately wakes up. She manages to gain enough altitude to stick her tongue out at me. I don't notice her as the doctor is sort of the only thing I'm focusing on.

He motions for me to follow him, and I look to Barbara, who nods. I gulp as I follow the doctor to the back of the room, where the ponies can't hear me.

"So...what's the...thing?" I'm unable to think of the proper words due to my incredible confusion.

"It's good news," the doctor immediately announces. I sigh, and my shoulders sag in released tension and relief. "The tumor is only in her left occipital lobe, which means that it could be removed without fatal damage." I start to grin. "Unfortunately, it could result in the loss of vision in one eye, and a lack of coordination as she matures."

I shake my head. "Whatever," I respond. "I think that's worth not having a brain tumor."

He smirks, and exhales in amusement. "Yes, I believe that it is." He extends a hand towards me. "Now, go celebrate with your daughter. I've got more paperwork to fill out, unfortunately."

"Wait," I stop him. "I don't get it - how was Barbara's scan so inaccurate? From the center of the brain to the occipital lobe is a pretty big jump..."

He shakes his head. "When it comes to equipment as old as the stuff she used, it's not as big as it seems." I wonder just how outdated Barbara's equipment was. "I'll let you talk with your family for a little while, but I'll want to see you on when the removal should take place later."

I nod, and after saying a temporary farewell I quickly return to Barbara and excitedly share the good news. Elated, she throws her arms around me in a hug. I hug Derpy and kiss her and I begin to cry as I hold her.

"Papa, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay," I respond. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Papa."

"Daddy, I'm hungry!"

I smile at Rainbow Dash. "Alright, sweetheart. Barbara will bring you back home now, alright?"

"Why can't you come home with us?" Twilight complains.

"Yeah, Uncle Charles isn't fun like you!" Vinyl Scratch adds on. I smirk at them.

"Well, you'll just have to deal with him," I respond. "And he's plenty of fun. Now, go on and follow Barbara - it's getting late, and it's close to your bed time."

The ponies whine and complain about ending their adventure early, but I stop them with a smile. They eventually agree to leave, and I kiss each of them goodbye as they turn to go.

Well, I try to, but Rainbow Dash, Big Mac, Applejack, Celestia, Luna, Trixie and Twilight all push me away, claiming that they're "too old for bye-bye kisses". I smile as I agree with them, and tell myself not to take it personally. It's difficult.

Once they're gone, and Barbara has given me an awkward good-bye peck on the cheek, I sit alone with Derpy in the room. She's fallen asleep, and I smile as I give her a kiss on the forehead.

"Goodnight," I whisper to her. I grin as I curl up on the bed and begin to fall asleep. For the first time since we came to the hospital, it's a happy and sound slumber.

Author's Notes:

Yeah wrote this just to write it.

Have fun, fuckers.

Chapter 30: Removal

I take a few deep breaths to steady my nerves. The stark white reflection of the linoleum flooring and walls does little to nothing to assuage my frantic heartbeat, as it only reminds me of where I am. The orderlies bopping about and gurneys squeaking on poorly-oiled wheels doesn't help, either.

My heartbeat begins to coincide with a small beeping noise in my ears, which I quickly realize is a phantom heartbeat monitor. At first I panic, as the frequency of the pulsations makes it seem as if a patient is awakening from anesthesia to find their skull open, and their dura mater spread apart like layers of a cake. After being engulfed by both scorching and chilling panic and a wave of nausea, I realize that it's just my own heartbeat, playing like a demented soundtrack in my ears.

I'm about to return to my breathing when a man clad in scrubs and a mask comes out of the operating move. I stand, expecting a gurney to follow, but he simply motions for me to stay in my seat.

"What's going on - is she okay?" I ask, a knot tying itself in my chest. I do my best to untangle the threads, but the small gray pony in the operating room refuses to release the strings.

"She's fine, Mr. Mactylan. In fact, the surgery is finished - I'm afraid we can't let you in to see her, as the area is still sterilized, and introducing you into the area could lead to the contamination of some very, very expensive equipment - as well as the stitches the interns are currently finishing up.

"After a few final preparations, we're moving her to the recovery ward, where you'll be able to wait for her expected full recovery."

I nod, grin, sigh, and cry - all at the same time. It's overwhelming, this feeling of relief, release, hope, and love - all because of one gray, quadrupedal airborne mammal that happens to be my daughter.

Life has a strange way of working out, doesn't it?

I pick up the phone and, standing in a fit of nervous and excited energy, speed dial Charles. Needless to say, I didn't expect Twilight to answer.

"Hello? Daddy?"

I blink a few times in confusion before speaking. "Uh...Twilight? You...picked up Charles' phone?"

"Yeah, he's a bit busy right now..."

I furrow my brow. I don't like the sound of that - did he leave my kids unsupervised? Then again, Barbara's there, too, so if Charles is busy...and doesn't have his phone...

Son of a bitch, he had better not be fucking her - for various reasons.

"Busy with what, sweetheart?" I ask, keeping my voice level. That son of a bitch - he uses my absence when my daughter has a brain tumor to get laid!?

"We're making him into a princess!"

I never had any negative thoughts about Charles. Nope. Never. Not even going to address the mental accusations I didn't make.

"Oh? Are you having fun?"

"Yeah - we're giving him and Big Mac a makeover!"

I chuckle lightly, and ask for him to be put on the phone. I hear Twilight's teeth clenching around the phone's plastic, and the heavy thud of her hooves as the speaker picks up the vibrations of her steps in her mouth. Eventually, I hear loud giggling and gentle sighing, and then everything becomes much clearer as the phone is removed from Twilight's mouth.

"Yeah?"

"Hey - make sure the kids can't hear this."

I immediately hear him saying, "I'll be right back, guys - I've gotta talk to your Daddy, okay? Don't worry, I won't wash the make up off." I hear a door close. "Okay, we can talk."

"Enjoying being a princess?" I ask with a smirk.

"I'm just trying to keep their mind off of things..."

"I understand. But, that's not why I called - I've got good news!" My face lights up again, and I convey the news to Charles. I hear him sigh, and laugh, and call out to Barbara. He shares the news with her, and I can practically feel her snatching the phone from Charles and laughing as she speaks with me.

"We'll be right there!" Is the last thing I hear from her before the phone goes silent.

"Wait - what? Hey - Barbara! Hello?" I pull the phone away and see the timer for the call flashing. "Son of a bitch," I mutter as I put the phone away. I turn back to thank the doctor again, and he simply nods and leads the way to the recovery ward - in fact, an isolated recovery ward to ensure that she'll be separate from human patients and prying eyes - and especially the media. Or anybody that would want to attack her. (Seriously, the world is full of crazies - I don't doubt for a second that there would be someone that would want to hurt her.)

I sigh as I begin to wait. I decide that I need to take my mind off of things for a little bit, so I decide to take out my phone and headbuds. I stick one in and leave the other hanging out, so that I can hear anything going on around me. I google good shows, and decide to watch a rather peculiar-looking one on Netflix, and start up the first episode. It seems rather promising at first, and even a bit heartfelt, and -

OH MY GOD THEIR MOTHER IS ON FIRE ON THE CEILING WHY!!!

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Dear God, I love this show.

I look up as a bed is wheeled into the room. I smile as I see Derpy, unconscious with a few wires and tubes attached to her forelegs. I notice that some of it seems to be slightly jerryrigged, mostly due to the fact that she's not human and they had to find out how to plug her into their systems. Probably figured it all out before the surgery...

I suddenly get a call before I can observe Derpy, and I notice that it's from Charles. I pick it up, and hear the ponies giggling and shouting in the background.

"Hey, we just left - we had to finish the make up first, they were really stubborn about it. Anyway, there's a bit of traffic, so we might be a while. See you then, 'k?"

I respond, and we have a short conversation before he hangs up. I put my phone aside, and stand over the young pony's bed. I smile as I place ah and on her cheek, feeling the warmth of her fur against my palm as I lean down to kiss her on the forehead. She has a bandage wrapped around her head, and only a small part of her head has been shaved - presumably where they inserted the corridor for surgery.

(Yes, I know some stuff about brain surgery.)

I kiss her on the forehead again, taking a deep whiff of her fur and hair - it soothes me, and allows for me to remove myself from the present as I gently cradle her.

I finally remove myself from her side, and turn to the doctor that has been patiently waiting by the edge of her bed.

"I understand," he announces with a sympathetic smile. "I have two children of my own."

I nod, and he continues. "So, I just need to have your permission for a battery of tests we plan to conduct - when she's recovered, of course."

I urge him to explain, and he does. "Vision acuity tests, IQ tests - the usual tests that take place after brain surgery."

We exchange a few more words, and after a while he leaves me with my daughter. I text Charles, and find out that there's too much traffic to be able to make it to the hospital within a reasonable time - they're going to have to come tomorrow. For now, they're going to go for Ice Cream to pacify the ponies. I smile as I imagine Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash having a race to see who can eat the ice cream faster. I them imagine Pinkie Pie surrounding the ice cream with an enlarged jaw and swallowing it whole. I shudder at the imagery, and think of Leviathans.

I know about Leviathans because I looked up jokes about Supernatural after I finished the first episode. Accidentally found spoilers. I can't wait to meet Cas - and Lucifer!

God (Chuck), that sounds so weird.

I sigh and shake my head, collecting my thoughts in an attempt to focus on the now. While I feel bad for trying to distract myself from the fact that my daughter just went through surgery with Supernatural, I...I just can't keep watching her, unconscious and in her bed. I know that it would be unhealthy and unwise to simply sit, watch, and wait, so I decide to simply...uh...

Sit...watch...and wait.

But I watch Supernatural. So that's a thing.

The entire time, I keep one eye on Derpy, and one ear out for anything happening. I sigh as I let Netflix wash away the time, thinking of what I'll say to the poor girl when she wakes up...

My elbows start to dig into my knees. My phone sits on the side table, its screen having been dark for hours now.

I tried to sleep. I tried to sleep so I could wake up and see Derpy smiling at me, but I...I just couldn't. Now, without the lights and sounds of the adventures of Sam and Dean Winchester to distract me, I simply sit and stare at the poor gray pony, my pulse massaging my fingers as I clasp them beneath my chin. I take a deep breath, and lean forward to kiss Derpy on the forehead. I grab hold of her tiny, delicate hoof, and look longingly at her lidded eyes, willing them to open...willing for her to be alright...

Jesus, what kind of father am I...sitting back and watching a T.V. show while my daughter is recovering from brain surgery...

With so many prominent flaws in my character, in my ethical code, and in my own soul, I don't know how I can ever be the perfect father for these ponies - the perfect father that they deserve, simply for being born. I rest my face in my hands, and watch as the darkness swirls in patterns of gentle patterns of both comfort and dismay. I reach for Derpy's hoof again, and swallow back tears as I begin my watch over the young pony, taking a vow not to be distracted again as I feel her coarse fur and gentle pulse.

I rest my head on the corner of her bed, and watch her sleep - as if I were a guardian angel, here to keep evil at bay while she lays her weary head to rest...

I pinch the bridge of my nose.

I really shouldn't have watched so many episodes of Supernatural in a row...

Author's Notes:

I say that because I know that this chapter is confusing and mixed. You're laughing at the other ponies, sighing in relief for Derpy, laughing at Supernatural, scowling at Peter's choices, and softly crying for Derpy and Peter's regret. I know I did it - minus the crying part, my tear ducts were all dried out after Season 9...

In any case, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Expect more Supernatural jokes in the future, and possibly a gif in each author's note.

'Cus that is how I do.