Club Canterlot is one of few places I almost never have a reason to hide in, so I don't have a dozen ideas of how to conceal myself there if I ever need to, I just hang out and relax. Literally, I usually hang from the rafters by my tail, sometimes Vinyl joins in! So, when the pony filling in for her at the DJ's table slipped and shut the music off, I probably wasn't the first to look around to find out why.

“I understand this facility is frequented by one DeeJay Pon-Three, could anypony be so kind as to point me in her direction?”

You were right underneath me.

I don't like ponies looking at me in general, even in the club, they hardly ever notice me on the ceiling, (The glare effect of the lights pointed at the floor goes a long way) but, um...

I, I-I, uh, it's...

Sigh, dammit, she said it was important that I share this part... I-

"She?" Right, right, I'll get to that, but first, you know the reason I'm still hiding, and anypony that walked by right now might think you were talking to a ghost or something? I don't want you to see me. I've been watching you since the thing with Rarity, and the only time I haven't kept out of sight was on Luna's orders, but I really, really don't want you to see me. I've liked thinking I was something like a guardian angel, out of sight unless you needed me for something, but I never actually did anything to help you up to that point. Sure, the Photo Finish incident was probably just bad timing, but...

Well, that's coming up, sorry I keep flipping around, but I should probably tell this in the right order.

Alright, alright, so I've gone out of my way to keep out of your sight when I don't have an 'official' reason to be there, like the night at the cake factory, so when you popped up in the club, I almost panicked. By the look on Vinyl's face, (she was hanging next to me at the time) so did she, but for different reasons. She gave me a quick "catch you later!" and dropped down to talk to you. My mini-heart-attack was stopped when she nabbed your attention before you could look up and see me, hanging there like a nocturnal pinata, something I hadn't realized wouldn't actually give me away.

I mean, if you DID see me that night, would you have guessed I had been following you around, watching you go about your day?

Right... That's how I know I have a problem.

Vinyl eventually came back, grinning ear to ear, (which would probably look like the toothiest frown ever if I weren't upside down too) and told me about her plan for the next day. Knowing what you guys would be up to, I did my usual thing with just a little more justification than usual, sneaking around the castle (mostly sticking to the archways of the ceiling, nopony looks up and all that) to follow. Once you had the world's spiffiest suit and got the parade float ready, I was ready to follow through alleys and behind boxes, signs, and whatever else I could keep out of sight with. Heeheehee! Gotta say, I didn't know you had a thing for karaoke and dress-up, let alone a metal song about changelings that-huh?

Wait, what?! It was about... Seriously?!

Wow...

I owe somepony on the downtown watch team ten bits, thanks a lot, Boss!

Hm? Oh, there's a been some talk about that song since the parade, just about everypony thinks it was about changelings, "they look like ponies, they're almost kin"? Now that I think about it, though... Ouch. Y'know, that's kindof-

...

Uh-

I-

Ok, you're sorry, I get it, now-

Boss?

Um-

Really, you can stop apologizing now...

HEY!!

Yeesh, it wasn't that bad, hardly anypony I've talked to with leathery wings (which is about half the Night Watch, though I've no idea what others might think) even thinks it was about them. Still, I'm told the usual stations were a little crowded the next few nights with Princess Celestia's guys on overtime, so it wasn't much fun after-

Will you please stop saying sorry?!

...What's on your list? And, what list?

Oh. Making up for stuff, huh? ...Y-yea, I think I know the feeling... Anyway, we were just getting to the important part. When the parade started, you guys were moving slow enough that it was easy to keep up without even risking anypony spotting me in broad daylight. I could even hear most of the song! But as you got closer to that one road, the float got faster and faster, so I had to move quicker and quicker from spot to spot. You must have been halfway down the incline by the time I realized there was no way I was going to keep up like that, so I shot straight up to my usual nopony-looks-this-high range and flew as fast as I could towards where the float was going. Now, I'm not the fastest flyer in Equestria, not even among bat ponies, but I'm definitely not slow, either, wouldn't be able to keep out of sight half as well otherwise. Still, the float was just going faster, faster, faster, so-

...Yyyyyea, you were on it, huh? Haha, sorry.

No, I mean, I really am sorry, it took me way too long to realize that keeping you from flying over the edge of the city should have been more important than staying out of sight. I don't know if it was dumb luck or some serious wind resistance on that crazy suit you were in, but you started to slow down as you fell, letting me catch up and grab hold of you by the big planet-display thingy on your back. While I was trying to assure you that you'd be fine, that your guardian angel came through this time, the part of the suit I was holding you by tore off. Not even having caught my breath yet, I went after you again, tearing off more and more of the suit as I tried to grab hold again until finally I got a good grip, both in my teeth and forehooves!

It took me way too long to notice that you had suddenly gotten a lot lighter, a stallion I'm not strong enough to have carried to a safe landing anyway. By the time I gathered the courage to look down, all I was holding was the shredded remains of the suit. You had been gone for at least a few seconds, completely out of my sight and with a long distance between where you were and the ground to go.

Haha, w-we can skip to the part where we know you came through in one piece, right?

Thank you. So, while you were in the hospital, I decided I would start taking this whole 'guard' thing more seriously, actually doing something right the next time you were in trouble. I didn't really wanna talk to Princess Luna until I could claim I had done my job again, so I sorta avoided her too. Not sure if she knew I was there anyway or not. Do princesses get like, detect-o-vision? Some kinda sixth sense for, I mean, does Celestia always know where her brawny, gold guards are?

I don't know, it just makes sense in my head!

Well, anyway, Ponyville isn't really too familiar for me. There are a lot fewer places to hide, moreso in broad daylight, but I don't think anypony saw me while I was following you during your search for Screw Loose. When you found her, I figured it would be smooth sailing back to the hospital, but when you picked her up, w-well...

You know how in movies time slows down when something bad happens? I saw that when I realized she was trying to kick her way out of your spell and the very next buck was going to work. Sorry.

I know I couldn't have moved fast enough even if I were right next to you, but still!

When I managed to shake off the shock, I saw that burly guy you were talking to rushing over and Screw Loose running away. I know how this is gonna sound, but I thought that he would make sure you were ok, so I followed the crazy pony instead, thinking I could either try to steer her back towards you or catch her myself. Apparently, he left you there, because you were in the exact same spot hours later when the sun had gone down.

...He said what came after him?

W-wait a minute, I never threatened anypony! I don't know what scared him off, but I know I never let him see me!

But he said something came after him when he tried to help you the first time? Huh... Wonder what it was?

Well, anyway, I spent the time you were out cold trying to wrangle Screw Loose back to the hospital, thinking I'd see you again there, or just back to town where somepony else might nab her, without getting close. I figured if she could knock you out with one kick, trying to bring her in by force, alone, wouldn't have worked for me either. I might have been able to make a trap or something, but not before she wandered off and I risked losing her. I managed to keep her in the same general area by hiding behind a tree, making a noise, and letting her try to figure out where the sound came from for the next several minutes, but she would only follow the sounds so far. I guess she wasn't done burying things in the woods? That probably makes the most sense, because the longest she stayed in one place was when she was digging in the dirt, the last time that night being at the tree. The one that-

...Yea. Before that, I took a chance and decided to look around and see if anypony was around to come find her, maybe help me catch her if they looked strong enough to hold her down. That's when I saw you, still lying by the tree she kicked you into. Not gonna lie, I panicked, flew down, and shook you, screaming to wake up. And you did! With relief, though, came the instinctive urge to hide when you looked my way, so I took off the moment you started to move.

Um... Y-yea, that was me. Is that why you thought I was the one that scared off Mr. Muscles? And then just stood next to you for hours?

I mean, I guess that's not actually too far from my usual M.O., but...

Anyway, The next thing you did, jumping forward with a super-bright light spell and just standing perfectly still? That was the second time you scared me, Boss, because I thought that being left injured for hours had done the bad and irreversible kind of thing to your head. I was frozen, looking at you from the tree branch I'd huddled up in, thinking you might have been brain-damaged because I didn't think to take care of you myself, or that shaking you had knocked something loose, or-

...Huh?

D-deep breath? I, uh, ok...

...

Yea, I'm fine, thanks.

I wasn't crying! It was just... scary, y'know?!

I remembered I could breathe when you started to move again, and that Screw Loose might have moved on by now. I shot back to the spot I'd left her in to find she was still digging at the roots of that tree. I don't know if it shows more or less discipline that I blame my guard training for trying to stick to the mission, but I thought there might still be hope to accomplish your task of catching Screw Loose and devoted my energy to that, rather than coming out, apologizing for not doing so earlier, and getting you back to town to get your bruises and possible head trauma looked at.

You know, like a smart pony.

Well, yea, Screw Loose would have been alone, but-

She was fine that whole time, right? I-

Monsters? The meanest-looking thing I saw out there was a gnarled old tree with a branch that almost looked like it was doing a griffon middle-claw gesture at me.

It means, uh...

N-nevermind, the point is that I don't think the snarly, bitey things live near Ponyville outside of Everfree. But, yea, I guess leaving a mental patient out on her own at night probably would have been bad too. So, chickening out of showing myself again and thinking I could lure you two toward eachother, I landed between where you were standing and the tree she was digging at and made a howling noise, thinking you'd think it was her and she'd think it was another dog to play with or something. She didn't move, but I heard you coming before I could do it again and hid.

The mean-voice thing was kindof a surprise, but I guess either you weren't too happy about her kicking you or you were thinking if she didn't respond to asking nicely earlier, she might go for the aggressive type? It... distracted me a little, but that's no excuse for not getting to you in time, I had snapped out of it long before she gave you the flower and the tree she'd been digging at fell over. If I had hid just a few trees closer...

Huh?

I might've gotten crushed instead? Well ok, a few more trees closer! Or, right next to you, where I might've-!

...'No good to dwell'? Yea, I guess not.

So, I panicked again, not caring if Screw Loose saw me trying and failing, badly, to pull you out from under the tree, push it off of you, chew the bark apart, and shake your horn hoping some kind of magical fix-everything-because-you're-dying spell would happen. What? It works in the movies and I was desperate! When none of that did anything, I flew back toward town as fast as I could, seeing a nurse and what looked like some kind of cop standing outside the hospital. Not really in a mood to explain things, I swooped down, swiped the nurse's hat, and waved it where they could see, flying at a speed they could keep up on hoof in your direction.

I kinda wonder if they even saw me, because they chased the hat, but with my dark... Well, everything against the night sky, I'm not sure they could tell the hat wasn't just picked up by a non-existent breeze.

I got all the way to where you were trapped before I noticed they'd stopped following me. I swore, flew back the way I came, and spotted them talking to the muscle guy by the edge of the woods. While I was initially planning to fly down, scream eight swears at once in his face for leaving you, and drag him all the way to the tree to help you, I stopped myself when I heard them talking.

Apparently, the big guy had been looking for you in the woods since about an hour after he ran away from something, but it was too dark to see a big, white-furred pony lying perfectly still. Not sure I buy that, but either way, their conversation was cut off by the howl, which I'm guessing came from Screw Loose, (I could've taken lessons from this filly!) and the three I'd been trying to lure to you picked up the pace. If it was too dark to see you the first time, the cop's flashlight and the mental patient practically jumping up and down by the tree made Spot the Prince a LOT easier! They got you back to the hospital in about ten minutes, the nurse picked up her hat from next to the tree while the bucks were moving it, Screw Loose followed like a puppy whose owner just got home without any of them even trying to wrangle her.

Which was good, because if they'd focused on the crazy pony over the dying pony, they'd have been worse at their jobs than me!

...Huh?

But-

Well, I got them going that way, yea, but-

...

Y-you're way too forgiving, Boss... Thanks.

I'm not crying, dammit!

...Although, uh... When you were in the hospital, again, and all I could do was watch through a window as your heart-monitor thingy seemed to get slower and slower, I might have gotten a little emotional. But then, Zecora showed up! By the way she winced, I figured you hadn't gotten any better. She pulled out a potion, asking if anypony could hold your head up for her.

Then Pinkie Pie showed up, and I mean popped out of nowhere, with a funnel, stuffed it into your mouth, and poured the potion down your throat. Zecora didn't look surprised at all. The next minute, Pinkie was jumping around the room singing about sick pony parties and make-ups for nights before, not missing fun times anymore, and a few more stanzas I didn't catch all the words to. Still, since it looked like you were all better, I could finally breathe again, taking a nap in the tree I'd been watching from.

Between the time I woke up and the time you did, I managed to disguise myself, grab a meal, get cleaned, and wait until you made your next move... Which was pretty much what you had been doing, at least until you went to Everfree. Not gonna lie, I thought you must have been out of your mind to go in there alone, but then I remembered it was Zecora that gave you the potion, and it might have seemed a little like you didn't really care all that much if all you did was send her a letter saying 'thanks' and leaving it at that.

...Did you just facehoof?

Haha, yea, I guess in hindsight that sounds like the better idea... And, I'm sorry. I tried this time, I really did! But you and Zecora's rhyming was, um... funny?

I still didn't want to be detected, so I kept a lid on it as best I could, but doing my best not to laugh, my sides were starting to hurt. A LOT. I figured you'd be fine for just a minute or so while I flew off to get it together. The good news? Flying straight into one of the hydra's faces got rid of the gigglefits in a blink. The bad news is that when I shot back toward you and Zecora, it apparently followed me.
I tried not to care that you would see me this time, I stuck near you this time! Of course, I kept in the air because it was easier than running through the forest, and you barely glanced anywhere but straight ahead -which is smart with all those roots to possibly trip over!- as the hydra kept coming. After about a minute of chase, I knew it wasn't going to just turn tail and stick to it's territory, (hyrdras are super-possessive of their turf, right? A little monster background info came up in guard training...) I went on the offensive!
I turned around, flew right at the closest head, took advantage of it's surprise at me doing that, and kicked it in the face. This only seemed to tick off the other heads, as four of them snapped at me at once. I dodged by hugging the neck of the head I kicked, the others that didn't slam into eachother aiming there next while I kept jumping from neck to neck. After a minute or two of this, the heads that weren't tangled (it's harder than it looks to get them to do that!) were snapping at eachother, not happy about the collections of bitemarks they'd traded while I slipped away. It was right about the moment when the hydra was out of sight that something even scarier hit me.

I'd lost you again. In Everfree Forest.