Blood Rose, Reporting!
by Eyeswirl the Weirded
First published
A certain bat pony tasked with keeping an eye on one of the royal family delivers her report, directly to that royal.
A bat pony in Luna's Night Guard has been watching Prince Blueblood for a while now, without him knowing. The reasons and results are as follows.
Chapter 1: Target Acquired!
The bat pony sighed. "Ok, here goes... My name is Blood Rose, and I have a report for you, Boss..."
I should probably start by saying sorry about my voice, I know I sound a little gravelly. Hoarse, even!
...At least the crickets like my jokes! Ok, you remember the night you needed somepony to bring you to Ponyville for a secret, romantic thing that kinda went...? Yea, I've been keeping an eye on you since a little after then. The last thing you said to me, Boss, was "Thank you for your help, I bid you good night, and I never want to see you again."
Well, a little bit after that, it occurred to me that your exact words were that you never wanted to see me again. I'm pretty darn good at staying hidden, y'know? It's my special talent! It's hard to see even if I stood still in good lighting, but my cutie mark's an eye just slightly darker than my fur. I almost look like a blank flank!
...That's gotten me some weird questions from ponies with certain tastes, let me tell you.
Anyway, before you get freaked out, I didn't tail you all the time, just... Um... W-well, I don't get asked to do a whole lot, y'know? Hardly anypony needs somepony that can keep out of sight these days. For anything wholesome, I mean. So, I get a lot of free time, but I don't spend ALL of it following you!
Just the last week or two.
I don't know when it started, exactly, there wasn't really anything that made me want to watch you from one of my 871 hiding places around Canterlot, but, well... Like I said, I don't usually get called to do much, Princess Celestia's guards had things pretty much under control before the Night Watch, the bat pony regiment, was brought back into the fold for-
Huh?
Oh, you already knew that?
Heehee! Ok, I'll skip the history lessons, but suffice to say those of us that answer mainly to Princess Luna aren't terribly busy most of the time. Still, shadowing ponies can be a lot of fun! It's easy for me, and everypony likes doing things they're good at, right? But it's only in the last couple of weeks that I've been doing it all the time, I guess a little before you got that letter about talking to Octavia?
No it wasn't me that dropped it off, I wouldn't have let you see me, silly~!
Anyway, as that's where the interesting stuff started, that's where I'll begin my report. Ahem... Watching you doze off while she was playing was pretty damn funny! Sorry, sorry, but I laughed harder at that than I probably should have. Most of it was the timing of her hitting you, like a real comedy routine! I started that day sitting outside your window to watch the sunrise, a habit I picked up from all the times you were doing the same thing. Did you know almost every room in the castle has windows somewhere? The ones you can't really look out, like those way up high or right in front of a tree or something, are the best ones for looking in. Usually. Stupid stained-glass.
I used to pretty much turn in and get some sleep whenever you started your day, but this was the first time I could remember you doing something other than going around visiting other nobles, attending fancy parties, or something so boring to watch it made me want to swipe something in secret and see how long it took anypony to notice.
...You either, huh?
So, this time I tailed you to the place Octavia and her fellow music lovers were practicing. A little after you went down for good, Celestia came in, everypony bowed, and the conversation went something like this:
Celestia: "Hi everypony, how are all of you?"
Everypony: "We're great, all smiling and peaceful, so please don't banish us to somewhere!"
Celestia: "I'm going to pretend it didn't come out like that. Why's Blueblood sleeping in here?"
Octavia: "I was playing a lullaby, guess it worked?"
Celestia: "Cool, I'll take him elsewhere, unless you plan to incorporate snoring into the performance?"
Music Ponies: "...Did you want us to?"
Celestia: "Bye now!"
And then she brought you out to the bench and left a sticky note. I couldn't get close enough to see what it said, but as I'm not really one to watch ponies sleep, I went to bed myself, picking up a few hours before you and Fleur De Lis met up to break into the cake factory. Sitting on the roof across from the back door, I'd never thought I'd see-
You saw me there? Ha, darnit. Guess that means I really was slipping up.
Anyway, I never thought I'd see you of all ponies breaking the law, but it meant I had to go get back-up and do the actual Guard-pony thing. I'll give you three guesses to who was talking to Night Stripe, my gal-pal (just don't call her that to her face, she's kinda prissy sometimes) and usual partner for that sort of thing, at that moment. So me, her, and the Princess of the Night herself fly out to the factory once I tell what I saw and before she's done magically scanning the interior or whatever, you burst out of the back door like you just escaped Tartarus!
Ordinarily, I'd have tried to hide, "I never want to see you again"? But, officially speaking, I was supposed to be following the princess as incredibly ineffective back-up if she needed it, and you didn't really seem to notice anyway. I was a little surprised you didn't recognize us, Nighty and me? She was the one that helped me pull you to Ponyville way back and-
Memory spell? ...That... that explains a lot, Boss. She was the one with the gold eyes, long, black mane, and pretty much the same coat color, cutie mark's a shooting star. She's really serious about stuff most of the time, but I think you two'd get along! Anywho, you probably remember the trip back to the palace from there?
I figured you wouldn't be up to anything exciting twice in one night, so I didn't start watching you again until some time the next morning. When I peeked into your room, you were moving all frantically, like the castle was about to tip over and fall off the mountain. I actually almost lost you a few times trying to figure out which halls you were going down from outside the windows! I stopped for a breath when you stood still out in the gardens, Fluttershy right behind you, and spotted Princess Luna on one of the towers overlooking the area, looking right at you. Keeping out of your line of sight, (an easy task when I can fly and you almost never look up) I made my way to her and asked what was going on. She filled me in about Fluttershy's animal thing and we watched together as you picked her up and ran around like a maniac.
No need to be embarrassed, Boss, I'm sure a lot of colts would like having a pretty mare on their backs~!
Hee-hee-hee! Anyway, once she started crying and Luna started fuming, I was seriously tempted to slink away and silently wish you luck, but... Where did you learn to make toucan noises? I learned to mimic all kinds of sounds to throw ponies off and stay hidden, even to throw my voice, but I don't think I've ever heard of-
You just practiced making the same sounds they did as a colt? Huh. Guess I could try expanding my noisy repertoire a bit...
Anyway, I should probably apologize for what happened a few hours after the toucan thing, I kindof nodded off on the balcony. (Woke up with a blanket on my back, I think Luna's a sweeter pony than most would give her credit for.) In my defense, it can be tough for bat ponies to stay awake during the day and watching somepony pet ferrets and nuzzle birds while somepony else stands near them is really, really boring! Watching you is bad for my sleep schedule.
...You're not mad? But, I could have, I should-
...'less trouble to just let it go once transgressions are over and done with, no good to hold a grudge'? I... I guess that's true. T-thanks, Boss!
Ok, ok, on with the story. I didn't see you again until I saw you frantically putting together a travel bag later that night, thinking the whole thing had started over somehow, but then you went to bed. I asked around a little and learned you'd be heading to the Changeling Hive to invite them for the Summer Sun Celebration. Now, I'm pretty darn good at staying hidden and a pret-ty accomplished master of disguise if I may say so myself, but that I'll never be able to actually shift into other ponies is something I made peace with a long time ago. That, and I knew even I wouldn't be able to go undetected for long in the small, cramped, crowded tunnels the Swarm lives in, but I figured you'd be ok with your usual guards and there'd probably be trouble if they thought I was there as a spy...
Is it racist to think that's a little hypocritical for changelings?
Anyway, rather than risking a political incident, I stayed home... And got to be involved in a magical catastrophe-type incident instead. You really missed the whole thing? It started like, two hours after you left, the spiky vines, the freaky skies, everything? It was nuts, pretty much everypony freaking out until it all went away.
Hahaha! Night Stripe got smacked on the rump by one of the little floor-vines, I wish you could have seen her face!
After that, just about everypony was exhausted from trying to fight the things off until they went 'poof!', doubly so for those of us that were just getting to sleep when it started. Still, I managed to catch your magic show with The Great and Apologetic Trixie. I didn't know you could sword-fight!
Practiced and choreographed? When did you do that?
...Boss? Hello? Hm, well, I guess it's not too important. The next few days were pretty uneventful, so I started doing other stuff in my downtime again, like visiting Club Canterlot. Vinyl's an old friend, sometimes we hang there until sunrise! It was the day after you visited the place at the same time that I learned something, Boss; I learned you could scare me.
Author's Notes:
This story, in addition to filling in some blanks from the first one, is a bit of an experiment in writing first/second person, seeing how much of a story I can convey with only one character speaking pretty much the whole time. Not sure whether or not having read Like Mending Glass first makes Blueblood's unheard dialogue and the context of the report any clearer, though.
Chapter 2: Panic Acquired!
Club Canterlot is one of few places I almost never have a reason to hide in, so I don't have a dozen ideas of how to conceal myself there if I ever need to, I just hang out and relax. Literally, I usually hang from the rafters by my tail, sometimes Vinyl joins in! So, when the pony filling in for her at the DJ's table slipped and shut the music off, I probably wasn't the first to look around to find out why.
“I understand this facility is frequented by one DeeJay Pon-Three, could anypony be so kind as to point me in her direction?”
You were right underneath me.
I don't like ponies looking at me in general, even in the club, they hardly ever notice me on the ceiling, (The glare effect of the lights pointed at the floor goes a long way) but, um...
I, I-I, uh, it's...
Sigh, dammit, she said it was important that I share this part... I-
"She?" Right, right, I'll get to that, but first, you know the reason I'm still hiding, and anypony that walked by right now might think you were talking to a ghost or something? I don't want you to see me. I've been watching you since the thing with Rarity, and the only time I haven't kept out of sight was on Luna's orders, but I really, really don't want you to see me. I've liked thinking I was something like a guardian angel, out of sight unless you needed me for something, but I never actually did anything to help you up to that point. Sure, the Photo Finish incident was probably just bad timing, but...
Well, that's coming up, sorry I keep flipping around, but I should probably tell this in the right order.
Alright, alright, so I've gone out of my way to keep out of your sight when I don't have an 'official' reason to be there, like the night at the cake factory, so when you popped up in the club, I almost panicked. By the look on Vinyl's face, (she was hanging next to me at the time) so did she, but for different reasons. She gave me a quick "catch you later!" and dropped down to talk to you. My mini-heart-attack was stopped when she nabbed your attention before you could look up and see me, hanging there like a nocturnal pinata, something I hadn't realized wouldn't actually give me away.
I mean, if you DID see me that night, would you have guessed I had been following you around, watching you go about your day?
Right... That's how I know I have a problem.
Vinyl eventually came back, grinning ear to ear, (which would probably look like the toothiest frown ever if I weren't upside down too) and told me about her plan for the next day. Knowing what you guys would be up to, I did my usual thing with just a little more justification than usual, sneaking around the castle (mostly sticking to the archways of the ceiling, nopony looks up and all that) to follow. Once you had the world's spiffiest suit and got the parade float ready, I was ready to follow through alleys and behind boxes, signs, and whatever else I could keep out of sight with. Heeheehee! Gotta say, I didn't know you had a thing for karaoke and dress-up, let alone a metal song about changelings that-huh?
Wait, what?! It was about... Seriously?!
Wow...
I owe somepony on the downtown watch team ten bits, thanks a lot, Boss!
Hm? Oh, there's a been some talk about that song since the parade, just about everypony thinks it was about changelings, "they look like ponies, they're almost kin"? Now that I think about it, though... Ouch. Y'know, that's kindof-
...
Uh-
I-
Ok, you're sorry, I get it, now-
Boss?
Um-
Really, you can stop apologizing now...
HEY!!
Yeesh, it wasn't that bad, hardly anypony I've talked to with leathery wings (which is about half the Night Watch, though I've no idea what others might think) even thinks it was about them. Still, I'm told the usual stations were a little crowded the next few nights with Princess Celestia's guys on overtime, so it wasn't much fun after-
Will you please stop saying sorry?!
...What's on your list? And, what list?
Oh. Making up for stuff, huh? ...Y-yea, I think I know the feeling... Anyway, we were just getting to the important part. When the parade started, you guys were moving slow enough that it was easy to keep up without even risking anypony spotting me in broad daylight. I could even hear most of the song! But as you got closer to that one road, the float got faster and faster, so I had to move quicker and quicker from spot to spot. You must have been halfway down the incline by the time I realized there was no way I was going to keep up like that, so I shot straight up to my usual nopony-looks-this-high range and flew as fast as I could towards where the float was going. Now, I'm not the fastest flyer in Equestria, not even among bat ponies, but I'm definitely not slow, either, wouldn't be able to keep out of sight half as well otherwise. Still, the float was just going faster, faster, faster, so-
...Yyyyyea, you were on it, huh? Haha, sorry.
No, I mean, I really am sorry, it took me way too long to realize that keeping you from flying over the edge of the city should have been more important than staying out of sight. I don't know if it was dumb luck or some serious wind resistance on that crazy suit you were in, but you started to slow down as you fell, letting me catch up and grab hold of you by the big planet-display thingy on your back. While I was trying to assure you that you'd be fine, that your guardian angel came through this time, the part of the suit I was holding you by tore off. Not even having caught my breath yet, I went after you again, tearing off more and more of the suit as I tried to grab hold again until finally I got a good grip, both in my teeth and forehooves!
It took me way too long to notice that you had suddenly gotten a lot lighter, a stallion I'm not strong enough to have carried to a safe landing anyway. By the time I gathered the courage to look down, all I was holding was the shredded remains of the suit. You had been gone for at least a few seconds, completely out of my sight and with a long distance between where you were and the ground to go.
Haha, w-we can skip to the part where we know you came through in one piece, right?
Thank you. So, while you were in the hospital, I decided I would start taking this whole 'guard' thing more seriously, actually doing something right the next time you were in trouble. I didn't really wanna talk to Princess Luna until I could claim I had done my job again, so I sorta avoided her too. Not sure if she knew I was there anyway or not. Do princesses get like, detect-o-vision? Some kinda sixth sense for, I mean, does Celestia always know where her brawny, gold guards are?
I don't know, it just makes sense in my head!
Well, anyway, Ponyville isn't really too familiar for me. There are a lot fewer places to hide, moreso in broad daylight, but I don't think anypony saw me while I was following you during your search for Screw Loose. When you found her, I figured it would be smooth sailing back to the hospital, but when you picked her up, w-well...
You know how in movies time slows down when something bad happens? I saw that when I realized she was trying to kick her way out of your spell and the very next buck was going to work. Sorry.
I know I couldn't have moved fast enough even if I were right next to you, but still!
When I managed to shake off the shock, I saw that burly guy you were talking to rushing over and Screw Loose running away. I know how this is gonna sound, but I thought that he would make sure you were ok, so I followed the crazy pony instead, thinking I could either try to steer her back towards you or catch her myself. Apparently, he left you there, because you were in the exact same spot hours later when the sun had gone down.
...He said what came after him?
W-wait a minute, I never threatened anypony! I don't know what scared him off, but I know I never let him see me!
But he said something came after him when he tried to help you the first time? Huh... Wonder what it was?
Well, anyway, I spent the time you were out cold trying to wrangle Screw Loose back to the hospital, thinking I'd see you again there, or just back to town where somepony else might nab her, without getting close. I figured if she could knock you out with one kick, trying to bring her in by force, alone, wouldn't have worked for me either. I might have been able to make a trap or something, but not before she wandered off and I risked losing her. I managed to keep her in the same general area by hiding behind a tree, making a noise, and letting her try to figure out where the sound came from for the next several minutes, but she would only follow the sounds so far. I guess she wasn't done burying things in the woods? That probably makes the most sense, because the longest she stayed in one place was when she was digging in the dirt, the last time that night being at the tree. The one that-
...Yea. Before that, I took a chance and decided to look around and see if anypony was around to come find her, maybe help me catch her if they looked strong enough to hold her down. That's when I saw you, still lying by the tree she kicked you into. Not gonna lie, I panicked, flew down, and shook you, screaming to wake up. And you did! With relief, though, came the instinctive urge to hide when you looked my way, so I took off the moment you started to move.
Um... Y-yea, that was me. Is that why you thought I was the one that scared off Mr. Muscles? And then just stood next to you for hours?
I mean, I guess that's not actually too far from my usual M.O., but...
Anyway, The next thing you did, jumping forward with a super-bright light spell and just standing perfectly still? That was the second time you scared me, Boss, because I thought that being left injured for hours had done the bad and irreversible kind of thing to your head. I was frozen, looking at you from the tree branch I'd huddled up in, thinking you might have been brain-damaged because I didn't think to take care of you myself, or that shaking you had knocked something loose, or-
...Huh?
D-deep breath? I, uh, ok...
...
Yea, I'm fine, thanks.
I wasn't crying! It was just... scary, y'know?!
I remembered I could breathe when you started to move again, and that Screw Loose might have moved on by now. I shot back to the spot I'd left her in to find she was still digging at the roots of that tree. I don't know if it shows more or less discipline that I blame my guard training for trying to stick to the mission, but I thought there might still be hope to accomplish your task of catching Screw Loose and devoted my energy to that, rather than coming out, apologizing for not doing so earlier, and getting you back to town to get your bruises and possible head trauma looked at.
You know, like a smart pony.
Well, yea, Screw Loose would have been alone, but-
She was fine that whole time, right? I-
Monsters? The meanest-looking thing I saw out there was a gnarled old tree with a branch that almost looked like it was doing a griffon middle-claw gesture at me.
It means, uh...
N-nevermind, the point is that I don't think the snarly, bitey things live near Ponyville outside of Everfree. But, yea, I guess leaving a mental patient out on her own at night probably would have been bad too. So, chickening out of showing myself again and thinking I could lure you two toward eachother, I landed between where you were standing and the tree she was digging at and made a howling noise, thinking you'd think it was her and she'd think it was another dog to play with or something. She didn't move, but I heard you coming before I could do it again and hid.
The mean-voice thing was kindof a surprise, but I guess either you weren't too happy about her kicking you or you were thinking if she didn't respond to asking nicely earlier, she might go for the aggressive type? It... distracted me a little, but that's no excuse for not getting to you in time, I had snapped out of it long before she gave you the flower and the tree she'd been digging at fell over. If I had hid just a few trees closer...
Huh?
I might've gotten crushed instead? Well ok, a few more trees closer! Or, right next to you, where I might've-!
...'No good to dwell'? Yea, I guess not.
So, I panicked again, not caring if Screw Loose saw me trying and failing, badly, to pull you out from under the tree, push it off of you, chew the bark apart, and shake your horn hoping some kind of magical fix-everything-because-you're-dying spell would happen. What? It works in the movies and I was desperate! When none of that did anything, I flew back toward town as fast as I could, seeing a nurse and what looked like some kind of cop standing outside the hospital. Not really in a mood to explain things, I swooped down, swiped the nurse's hat, and waved it where they could see, flying at a speed they could keep up on hoof in your direction.
I kinda wonder if they even saw me, because they chased the hat, but with my dark... Well, everything against the night sky, I'm not sure they could tell the hat wasn't just picked up by a non-existent breeze.
I got all the way to where you were trapped before I noticed they'd stopped following me. I swore, flew back the way I came, and spotted them talking to the muscle guy by the edge of the woods. While I was initially planning to fly down, scream eight swears at once in his face for leaving you, and drag him all the way to the tree to help you, I stopped myself when I heard them talking.
Apparently, the big guy had been looking for you in the woods since about an hour after he ran away from something, but it was too dark to see a big, white-furred pony lying perfectly still. Not sure I buy that, but either way, their conversation was cut off by the howl, which I'm guessing came from Screw Loose, (I could've taken lessons from this filly!) and the three I'd been trying to lure to you picked up the pace. If it was too dark to see you the first time, the cop's flashlight and the mental patient practically jumping up and down by the tree made Spot the Prince a LOT easier! They got you back to the hospital in about ten minutes, the nurse picked up her hat from next to the tree while the bucks were moving it, Screw Loose followed like a puppy whose owner just got home without any of them even trying to wrangle her.
Which was good, because if they'd focused on the crazy pony over the dying pony, they'd have been worse at their jobs than me!
...Huh?
But-
Well, I got them going that way, yea, but-
...
Y-you're way too forgiving, Boss... Thanks.
I'm not crying, dammit!
...Although, uh... When you were in the hospital, again, and all I could do was watch through a window as your heart-monitor thingy seemed to get slower and slower, I might have gotten a little emotional. But then, Zecora showed up! By the way she winced, I figured you hadn't gotten any better. She pulled out a potion, asking if anypony could hold your head up for her.
Then Pinkie Pie showed up, and I mean popped out of nowhere, with a funnel, stuffed it into your mouth, and poured the potion down your throat. Zecora didn't look surprised at all. The next minute, Pinkie was jumping around the room singing about sick pony parties and make-ups for nights before, not missing fun times anymore, and a few more stanzas I didn't catch all the words to. Still, since it looked like you were all better, I could finally breathe again, taking a nap in the tree I'd been watching from.
Between the time I woke up and the time you did, I managed to disguise myself, grab a meal, get cleaned, and wait until you made your next move... Which was pretty much what you had been doing, at least until you went to Everfree. Not gonna lie, I thought you must have been out of your mind to go in there alone, but then I remembered it was Zecora that gave you the potion, and it might have seemed a little like you didn't really care all that much if all you did was send her a letter saying 'thanks' and leaving it at that.
...Did you just facehoof?
Haha, yea, I guess in hindsight that sounds like the better idea... And, I'm sorry. I tried this time, I really did! But you and Zecora's rhyming was, um... funny?
I still didn't want to be detected, so I kept a lid on it as best I could, but doing my best not to laugh, my sides were starting to hurt. A LOT. I figured you'd be fine for just a minute or so while I flew off to get it together. The good news? Flying straight into one of the hydra's faces got rid of the gigglefits in a blink. The bad news is that when I shot back toward you and Zecora, it apparently followed me.
I tried not to care that you would see me this time, I stuck near you this time! Of course, I kept in the air because it was easier than running through the forest, and you barely glanced anywhere but straight ahead -which is smart with all those roots to possibly trip over!- as the hydra kept coming. After about a minute of chase, I knew it wasn't going to just turn tail and stick to it's territory, (hyrdras are super-possessive of their turf, right? A little monster background info came up in guard training...) I went on the offensive!
I turned around, flew right at the closest head, took advantage of it's surprise at me doing that, and kicked it in the face. This only seemed to tick off the other heads, as four of them snapped at me at once. I dodged by hugging the neck of the head I kicked, the others that didn't slam into eachother aiming there next while I kept jumping from neck to neck. After a minute or two of this, the heads that weren't tangled (it's harder than it looks to get them to do that!) were snapping at eachother, not happy about the collections of bitemarks they'd traded while I slipped away. It was right about the moment when the hydra was out of sight that something even scarier hit me.
I'd lost you again. In Everfree Forest.
Chapter 3: Failure Acquired!
I flew as fast as I could, barring trees, in the direction I'd seen you zig-zagging, praying that you hadn't gotten eaten by something else already... Boss, once I found you, I almost wished I hadn't, because I was sure something really, really bad had happened. There were no monsters anywhere, no killer plants or anything, not even any signs that you were hurt, but I found you lying in the grass, crying. Not just "I'm lost and scared" crying, but the real, hard-to-watch pain kind.
I won't ask what happened in there, but whatever got to you before I could, I'm sorry.
I landed, walked up, and asked the stupidest, most obvious question I could think of. It was the first time I'd talked to you since the night you hired me and Nighty, but the "are you ok?" wasn't answered with anything but more crying, which made me feel even worse. I called out to you, I tapped you on the shoulder, I shook you a little, but none of it snapped you out of whatever happened. Not knowing what to do, I felt lucky when Zecora's voice sounded from somewhere in the distance. Still not strong enough to carry you and hoping you wouldn't go anywhere in the next few minutes, I shot off in the direction of the voice, seeing our favorite zebra not too far away from where you were. Flying back toward you, I mimicked her voice as best I could. Was I convincing?
...Not in a great state to judge, huh? Haha, I get that. I'm glad you got better, though, for whatever it's worth... So, you know the rest up to Rarity bringing you to the hotel?
I almost got caught by Pinkie Pie while watching from the first-floor hotel window, but somepony got a pot stuck to their head and she ran off to help them. Whatever happened with that, I slipped into the room they brought you to via the window, sleeping under the bed until a scream woke me up. I was grateful to discover that the place Rarity brought you to was so fancy even the undersides of the beds were soft and cushy, or I'd have had a pretty big bump on my head. I shot out from under the side of the bed, noticed you sitting up and staring straight ahead, and shot back under it in the hope you didn't see me peripherally.
I spent a good few hours of all this just trying to think of how I would explain things when you finally saw me, but "I was hiding under your bed" didn't look good no matter how I worded it. I really, really didn't have any creepy intentions with that, though, so please don't-
...Ekhem, r-right, good. Just, wanted to make sure, y'know? Aaaanyway, Next was the walk to Carousel Boutique, Discord, the roof, jumping with the cheat-gravity spell, Rich Manor, Spoon Manor, and Spoon Manor basement. This, by far, was the worst part of following you for me. Not just since the parade, but like, all-in-all, because this was the longest I'd ever lost you. When the magic door thing spun around? I didn't know it was going to do that or have any way to make it do it again, so you were completely out of my reach in a dark basement-chamber-thing where I couldn't even pretend I was doing something right, for hours.
I panicked, I freaked out, I screamed at the walls, I tried to chip away the big, stone door with anything I could lift and smash against it, (why did they have a mini battering-ram down there, anyway?) but nothing got me any closer to finding out whether or not you or the fillies were even still alive. Realizing I might have just let two foals do something insanely dangerous didn't help.
For the second time, I tried to get ponies to help me get to you by leading them there unnoticed, because I still hadn't thought up a good reason for my being there and-...
Aw, cave ticks.
I just didn't want to be seen. It was never about 'doing my duty' or 'sticking to the mission,' or even the guardian angel thing I'd completely failed at up to now, or if it was, I'd long since stopped doing it for that. Stalking you like some creepy, useless ghost had become pretty much everything to me, and I've spent the last few days proving it. I don't know exactly the point where that was what it was, but that was the point I realized that following you, watching you, staying hidden from you, had come to be more important to me than anything else; when you stayed hidden from me.
So. Yea. Sorry.
What?
You know how it-?! Boss, I've been watching you since you hired me for the thing with Rarity, I know you never got so obsessed with something that-...
Oh.
Ohhh!
Ok, yea, I see where you're coming from here. So you do know what it's like...
Huh? Sorry, just thinking out loud with that one. Or not thinking. I'm better at that. Sometimes. Maybe-wait! Is that why you aren't mad at me? Because you've gone nuts over something too and-
Right, right, 'no good to hold a grudge.'
So, I tried to get ponies to come down to the basement to open the big door, but nopony in the Spoon household wanted to go near the place and nopony in town wanted to go into the Spoon household! I'm guessing if I went further, nopony would have wanted to enter Ponyville, either. Maybe it was because I was going by my usual method of getting their attention with a noise from the direction I wanted them to go, and that's a far cry from a compelling argument to go somewhere?
Eventually, I gave up on looking for help and got back to trying to open the darn thing myself. No luck. I tried to get a horn with which to magic the door down by ascending to Bat-pony-princessdom. It was as I was willing myself to fuse with the shadows while hanging from the ceiling and singing a silent, orchestra-worthy symphony (I was scraping the bottom of the idea barrel so hard I was halfway to Chineigh by this point) that the door finally opened by itself, you and the fillies alive and well.
My coronation would've been awkward anyway, I doubt I'd have let anyone see me.
Anyway, I was so happy to get back to business, I followed you around in something of a daze, only realizing something was up like a minute after Pinkie Pie (she was wearing a potato sack on her head, but I know it was her) started dragging you in a much bigger potato sack. "This time," I said to myself as I swooped in to save you, "I'll do things right!"
She had just finished with the funnel when I closed in, forehooves up and ready to flying tackle, then flying tickle her until she stopped and told me what the hay she was doing. I wasn't sure, but it looked like she was going awfully far if it was just a prank. Either way, I didn't get the chance, because she swung the bag of you over her shoulder at just the right moment to smack me into a wall.
I don't think it was long before I came to, because when I flew up to get a better view of the town, I saw her tail disappearing down a staircase around the back of Sugarcube Corner. That there were so few ponies moving about that time of night was helpful. I darted down to the basement staircase, then snuck in slowly so as not to get blindsided again. Slowly, silently pushing open the door, I saw you already tied to the table. Taking a quick scan of the room and not seeing Pinkie anywhere, I moved in to undo the ropes and get you out of there first, figure out whether or not Pinkie was completely off her nut for doing this later.
I hadn't even undone the first knot when I heard a sharp intake of breath right behind me, and jumped to the side, narrowly avoiding Pinkie's swing with the rolling pin. Which instead hit you on the stomach. Sorry.
Anyway, apart from my obsession epiphany, I learned a thing or two that night. One of them was that getting into a rolling-pin-fight with an experienced baker is maybe not the best idea. More-so when you don't have a rolling pin. Another is that fighting Pinkie Pie is absolutely terrifying. Not just for the total-psycho face thing she was doing, but for the way she came at me.
There was no talking, no asking what I was doing there, just cutting straight to the chase of flailing her hooves and the pin like a lightning bolt that took up swing-dancing. She'd stand on her hind legs, ducking and weaving in random directions while swinging at me from just as random directions. Have you ever seen someone twist their entire head around to whack you with a rolling pin? She was spinning in a circle at the time, but I'm pretty sure her neck bent in a way it shouldn't have and-
...Come to think of it, maybe she was just dancing? Like, from the moment she swung the rolling pin, it was her way of asking if I came down to the basement at night because I was looking for a dance party next to an unconscious pony tied to a table? That would explain why she kept doing actual three-second dances (she was particularly fond of the can-can that night for some reason) every time I stepped back to catch my breath? I don't know if I landed a single decent shot on her, but I made the mistake of thinking I was safe for a few seconds every time she did one of the non-violent dances. While she was doing The Worm, I glanced at the table you were tied to, and the next thing I know I'm face-down on the floor with jump-ropes binding my hooves and wings together.
She smiled even crazier than before, said "And now, you take a nap!" stuffed a cupcake in my mouth, (which I didn't swallow, because I figured it was full of whatever she force-fed you just before bringing you there) picked me up, and carried me out of the basement, up the stairs, and to a closet.
And, um...
Well, here's where things get embarrassing...
Quick as a whip with a sugar rush, she switched the jump-ropes for a soft blanket, wrapped me up tight like a bat burrito, and set me on the closet floor, which already had a pillow waiting.
She literally meant for me to take a nap.
And I did. Like a foal.
I'll say right now that I struggled at first, I spit out the cupcake and squirmed and fought against the coziness of the blanket and feathery pillow with all I had. But after getting slapped around by a pony crazier than Screw Loose, not to mention all the energy spent trying to get that stupid stone door open, I had pretty much nothing left, and ended up succumbing to the warmest, softest, more comfortable prison I'd ever experienced.
I know that's no excuse, that I should have shook it off, broken out of there, and stopped whatever she did to you when-
...What.
...What do you mean 'nothing happened'?! You must have gotten a good look at Pinkie at least once, her eyes all bulgy with tiny pupils, her face twitchy, her mane all craz-err, not crazy, but for her that IS crazy and-what, did you two just play board games all night?!
...Boss?
Hello?
...
Oh, you've got to be bucking kidding me.
Sigh. You know, in hindsight, I believe it, because I got to talk to Pinkie a little after she'd calmed down some time the next morning. She might have been listening by the closet door, because it opened like thirty seconds after I woke up, her mane all puffy and the crazy face replaced with an apologetic one. We talked for a bit, the gist of it was that she thought I was some kind of anti-party pony abductor. The hypocrisy was noted. She put me to sleep in the closet because there was already a pillow there, in case of pillow emergencies, and she figured that bat pony or not, I probably needed sleep that wasn't upside down. "It made more sense at the time," she told me.
I explained that I was trying to protect you and had spent the last few days sucking at it, she explained that she was trying to throw you a welcome party and had spent the last few days sucking at it. Even though I was still trapped in the blanket, we both laughed. She asked why I would try to protect somepony by staying away from them and not letting them know I'm there, comparing it to roasting marshmallows by leaving them out in the sun.
I told her about how I'd first taken to watching you, how it grew into the obsession that led me to follow you day and night after the parade, pretty much everything. It felt good to tell someone for once, which might be why she asked me to tell you.
That's why I'm doing this. Pinkie said that there's not a lot of fun between friends who sneak around and avoid eachother. When I said we weren't really friends, that you probably didn't even know my name, she replied "Well that proves it!" She told me that both of us, you and I, Boss, would be a lot happier if I quit hiding, that I should tell you everything I've been up to (I figured the 'report' thing gave it a little more legitimacy) and let go of my obsession. Well, I've done most of it now, but I'm not coming out.
Haha, Pinkie probably wouldn't be too happy about that, but after all that's happened, I don't think I can even look at y-no, I don't you looking at me, more than ever.
Because I'm a failure!! Haven't you been listening? I-
You have? It's why you can do what? HEY!! What're you doing?! Is this magic?! Let me go, let me go!!
Author's Notes:
If you're wondering? She took a train to get back to Canterlot, Blueblood's chase-scene with Rarity and train escape already having happened by the time she and Pinkie got done talking, had breakfast, and talked about throwing Rose a party too if not for Pinkie being completely partied out by that point. "Do you think you and Blue could come back around the same time? Heck, if you have anypony else you'd like to bring to town, we can make it a multi-pony welcome party!"
Chapter 4: Resolution Acquired!
"Let me go, let me go!!"
Blueblood levitated Blood Rose out of her hiding spot telekinetically, bringing her face-to-face with him.
She struggled, clenching her eyes shut. "L-let me go, please!!"
He spoke calmly. "Look at me."
"No!"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Why not?" From the look on her face, she was about to cry, but he would take that chance this time.
"B-because I, you could have been... How did you find me? Nopony's ever sniffed me out like that."
Trying to ignore the shivers her wings gave him up close, he smiled a little. "If I tell you, will you look at me?"
She still kept her eyes shut, head turned as far from him as possible. "Maybe."
"You told me early on that you could throw your voice, so I knew you wouldn't be where the sound was coming from. Every time you got emotional, it slipped, narrowing down the list of places you could be a little further each time. I managed to pin-point where you were a little while ago."
She snorted, smiling even as she kept her eyes tightly shut. "Figures."
Blueblood smiled amicably. "Well? I've held up my end of the bargain."
"I said maybe!"
"Fair enough, but I never said I'd let you go. I can wait."
Blood Rose was still seized in his magic. From the volume of his voice, he was just a little too far away for her to do anything like what Screw Loose had, even if she'd wanted to. She sighed. "Okay, okay." Slowly, her eyelids parted in a manner akin to somepony awoken by sunlight through a window early in the morning. She hesitantly glanced upward, still very tense, as though Blueblood was a cockatrice just waiting to turn her to stone. Eventually, she made eye-contact. He was still smiling, not a hint of anger, resentment, or even disappointment in his face. Somehow, that made her feel even worse until he spoke.
"Everypony makes mistakes. As you were following me through the entirety of my time in Ponyville, the things you did and didn't do have more to do with my decisions than your own. True, you could have behaved differently, could have just offered help, but if you had, I suspect things may have actually gone worse." Confusion clear in her beautiful, red eyes, he did his best to stay focused. "You're thinking that a lot of trouble could have been avoided if you'd just come out and asked to tag along normally, that you'd have done a better job as a guard if you'd hadn't been hiding?"
She nodded a little, the shame clear in her face.
The prince chuckled. "Did you know I'm afraid of bat ponies? Something of a phobia of mine, actually. I'd have likely turned you away, and either been on my own, or had you following me without knowing it, exactly as it happened."
His heart skipped a beat as her eyes widened in shock. "What?!"
Smiling sheepishly, he nodded. "I told you I knew what it was like being obsessed with something, and I didn't just mean Miss Rarity. For the longest time, looking at bat ponies, your wings, your fangs, your sense of nocturnal otherness, scared the daylights out of me." There was a frown as he glanced away. "Then I met something much more horrifying. Given a little time to reflect, I've come to realize that my fear of your kin was bringing me to dark places, no pun intended, and that I'd been letting this phobia, and fear in general, control my life for quite some time. The parade? In addition to thrill-seeking, it was something of an attempt to conquer that fear by shouting about it in rhyme to the entire city."
Blood Rose stared back at him numbly. "You sang a metal song about something you're scared of. Thinking that somehow you wouldn't be scared anymore. Through the power of music."
"That's the gist of that event, yes. Ever since, you've been strung along trying to keep a paradoxically reckless coward safe, but I don't blame you for anything that befell me. I won't forgive you, Miss Rose, because I don't believe you've done anything wrong."
Now she cried, Blueblood dropping the spell as she sniffled, turning away. To his equal surprise and relief, the tears stopped shortly after they began. She glanced at him again, her fangs visible in a little smile. "It, it means a lot, Boss."
He smiled back. "As it happens, I might have an idea to help with both of our problems, my fear and your habit respectively."
Drying her eyes with a hoof, she gave him a perplexed look.
"Another thing on my list is making up for that song. Would it say anything if I were to allow, no, request that the breed of pony I fear most be the ones to protect me for my next excursion out of the city?"
"W-what?"
"Specifically, I was thinking that, when I return to Ponyville, -it's on the list too- I shouldn't go it alone again." He chuckled. "Or, semi-alone. I've put you through a lot already, Miss Rose, but I'd be honored if I could once more employ the services of you and your partner, Miss Stripe. If constantly accompanied by the two of you, well, I think they call it immersion therapy? And on your end, you'd surely be hard-pressed to follow me in secret if I can see you all the time. What say you?"
It took all of Blueblood's willpower not to scream, recoil, or even flinch as the bat pony beamed her toothiest, fang-filled smile.
Author's Notes:
Wheel of Morality, turn, turn, tu-ahh, nuts.
About half the reason for this story was to underline that obsession is generally bad. Not for any particular reason, but I felt like it was an underlying theme of the first story. Underlying story for an underlying theme. I came up with BR's stealth adventure so long ago I don't remember if that was on purpose or not.
The other half was characterization, both for Blood Rose and hints of change in Blueblood's behavior. What happens next, you may reasonably ask? Hopefully I'll find more time for writing the continuation to this story, The Prince's List! (title kinda pending)
Seeya then!
