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Hips Don't Lie

by Majin Syeekoh

Chapter 1: Those Hips Should Be A War Crime!


Rarity was quietly eating her apple surrounded by her friends. Sunset Shimmer had just joined them and was telling them about how…”off” the singers seemed at the tour she had gone to. Pinkie Pie, being Pinkie Pie, was offering outlandish suggestions about how they were “off”.

“Maybe we should just let her tell us?” Rainbow Dash said, cutting off Pinkie’s suggestions much to Rarity’s delight. Sure she loved Pinkie just as much as the rest of her friends, but she could be a bit…much sometimes.

“That’s just it,” Sunset Shimmer said, “I can’t put my finger on it. They just acted sort of strange around me.”

Then she came in.

Sure, she was flanked by two others, all three of them singing like angels, but none of that mattered when Rarity turned her head and saw the lead singer’s hips.

Goddamn, Rarity thought to herself. The orange-haired girl surely gave new meaning to the phrase ‘your body is an instrument’ as she hypnotically swayed her sides to the beat of the music that was suddenly playing. She was singing something as well, but she couldn’t really focus on the words as she strutted around the cafeteria working her hips like a metronome, attracting the attention of all who saw.

The effect was heightened as she flounced around the lunchroom, cradling a boy’s chin in her hand.

Are you a loser or a fighter?

Rarity gripped her dress in her hand, her eyes unable to pull away from the girl’s entrancing sashay as she challenged the entirety of the school to...to something. All that mattered were those sensual loins as she was lifted up on the table and swaggered on top of it like she owned it. She then flicked another boy’s chin erotically as she leapt off of the table and addressed the school.

...if you’re just proven you’re the best?

Then she went prattling some nonsense about a battle or something...Rarity didn’t really care, she just wanted to see those hips in action once more. Her wish was granted after the students stopped arguing and the girl once again addressed the student body using her body. Rarity’s grip on her dress grew tighter. Those hips should be considered a War Crime under the Geneva Protocol for biological warfare, she thought to herself.

The entire student body was arguing with each other now, seemingly ensorcelled in the spirit of competition. Rarity didn’t care. She just was entranced by the mesmeric sway of that girl’s hips right now.

Rarity’s heart dropped as the girl stopped swaying her hips to address the school once more.

...battle of the bands!

Damnit, Rarity thought to herself.

“Ohhhh, she’s that kind of off!” Pinkie said. She quickly turned to head to acknowledge that, yes, Pinkie had said something, but quickly turned her head back to hopefully witness once more the alluring weave of the girl’s thighs.

Her prayers were answered as the girl and her posse turned to the door and walked out, swinging her quarters once more. Her friends left the room before her. But the orange-haired girl turned her head and looked straight at Rarity.

Oh, heavens, was I that obvious, Rarity thought as her cheeks turned roseate. The girl then winked at her, causing a goofy grin to draw itself upon Rarity’s face as she turned her head back, exaggeratedly undulating her rump as she exited the room.

Applejack was saying something that Rarity couldn’t hear. Those hips had burned themselves into her skull. She could make out every roll, waver, and oscillation in her head clear as—

—the back of her head suddenly burned fiercely. “Rarity!” Applejack said. “What in the hay is wrong with you?”

Rarity glared at Applejack as she rubbed the back of her head. “There’s no need to resort to violence, Applejack. You could have just said something.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “But I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes! We all thought you were under their spell until Sunset pointed out that you weren’t arguing like the rest of the school. So I smacked you upside the head to get your attention.”

Rarity blinked. “...what spell?”

Applejack facepalmed and turned Rarity’s head to face the student body, which was currently embroiled in the mother of all arguments. “That spell, dummy! Weren’t you paying attention?”

Rarity blinked. “Oh yeah...the spell, heh heh…”

Applejack stared at Rarity. “You were looking at it the whole time! How could you not notice?”

Rarity giggled as she picked up her apple and daintily chewed on it. “My mind was focused on...other matters, as it were.”

Applejack leaned in to Rarity, a lewd grin on her face. “You were checking out the new girl, weren’t you?”

Rarity spit out the piece of apple in her mouth. “W-what!?”

Applejack chuckled. “S’alright. I couldn’t help but sneak a peek myself. Haven’t seen flanks like that since we slaughtered Bessie two days ago,” she said. She then lifted her head to face the girls. “That reminds me, who wants steak tonight?”

“ME!” Sunset Shimmer shouted, causing everyone at the table to slightly recoil.

“Why do you eat nothing but meat?” Fluttershy asked. “You do realize that can’t be healthy, right?”

“Plus,” Rainbow Dash said, “wouldn’t that be kind of like cannibalism for you? I mean, you told us that the cows talk where you come from.”

Sunset Shimmer glared at everybody at the table. “Well, the cows don’t talk here and my digestive system can handle it. Plus, it’s damn tasty!”

Everyone nodded in agreement, Rarity especially. “That sounds wonderful, Applejack. I’d love to go you house and have some flank—thigh—steak.” Everybody laughed at the misspoken words that came out of Rarity’s mouth as she covered it in horror, blushing furiously.

Damnit, she’s invaded my thoughts!

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