Dear Queen Celestia,

Thankyou so much for providing me access to the records of ‘Project: Fullcrystal’. The work done by my predecessors in exploiting the raw materials of the Crystal Empire to meet Equestria’s needs is simply revolutionary, if somewhat primitive. It is my proud and humble conviction that, with ample test subjects, I can refine the Fullcrystal technology into a stable potion-based spell matrix that will fulfil your every desire for the human race.

Your faithful servant,
Twilight Sparkle

A missive liberated from the Canterlot archives. Retroactively dated, this exchange would have occurred at approximately the same time as the CERN incident. The exact particulars remain disputed.

Jazmin Carter to Retire

Well, it turns out the rumors are true. For health-related reasons, superstar artist Jazmin Carter is officially retiring from comics. The official word went out on her daughter Verity’s Twitter feed just today, and already the sheer outpouring of support from our fandom has been amazing. This here, is why we call ourself Stargazers...love and tolerance all the way.

Most of us here are familiar with Jazmin’s amazing art on IDW’s various Hasbro-licensed comics, including ‘Transformers’ and, of course, ‘Milky Way and the Galaxy Girls’, but she’ll also be missed by the readers of DC comics, where she notably filled in repeatedly on art duties for various lines including ‘Wonder Woman’, ‘Supergirl’ and ‘Teen Titans’.

Jazmin’s latest, and last project, the independently-published (and semi-autobiographical) graphic novel ‘Latter Day Saints’, which she wrote and illustrated entirely by herself, came out just last month to rave reviews, and has already been nominated for an Eisner Award. How better to bow out than on such a strong note.

From everyone here at Galaxia Daily, our thoughts and wishes go out to Jazmin and her family. Thank you so much for some amazing comics, Jaz. No one draws ‘The Great and Powerful Milky’ like you do.

-Sethisto

News article published on the fanblog ‘Galaxia Daily’, seven months before the CERN incident.

~static~

“-train pulled by number 501. It’s a steam locomotive, 2-8-0. Yes, I know, it was all we could find at the moment, but I know we’re not the only steamer chugging around New England… I know for a fact the 7470 is heading out for Manchester. And there's this other one coming down from Cana-"

“...Keep to the script, man. Just keep trying to reach someone.”

“Right - here’s our situation. We are running low on ammunition and fuel. Supplies of Rainmaker grenades nearly dry, in need of more .338 Norma Magnum and .308 Winchester or 7.62x51mm NATO. Conditions of rails ahead uncertain. The unicorns keeping the train steaming are half-dead from exhaustion. Supplies low. Running out of food and drink, and it's too hard to get out of the cab and cut some wood to use for fuel. We don’t think we will make it to the next town over. Snow is coming-many of us are bundled up in the cab getting warm off the fire, not enough steam pressure to heat the rest of the train. Worries of frostbite and death by freezing for those who can’t squeeze in with us. Guess it’s true what they said about the weather always being worse in Crawford Notch. Please, if anyone’s out there, we need help!

Is there anyone out there?! ANYONE?! Are we the last ones left alive? Are we? Someone, anyone, please? Are we? Is there anybody out there? Are we the last ones left alive?!”

Someone! ANYONE! We need hel-

*sounds of machinegun fire, interspersed with fire from a grenade launcher and a heavy rifle*

”Got them-”

“FASTER-”

"Don't fokking die on me, I've let enough kids and foals die already-"

“Can’t go any-”

“FOK!”

~static~

“Shema yisroel, adonai eloheinu, adonai echad-”

“-Lord is my shepherd-”

“Get that damn radio before it falls off-”

“STOP DYING AT ME, JOU BLIKSEMS!” (off in the distance, barely noticeable over machinegun fire)

“Come on then, come on you bastards…”

“Whitehall isn’t too far away, we just have to-”

“Hold on, Dancing Day, it’ll be fine, it’ll all be okay, just hold on and keep focusing the spell-”

“... tired...”

“-have to! PLEASE! They’re all counting on us! They need-”

“Got him! RIGHT IN THE FOKKING FACE!”

“-Last ones alive? Are we the last ones alive and not ponified? Please, answer! Is anyone out there?!”

~crackle~

“Hello? Repeat your message. Who is this?”

“Oh, thank God! This is Train 501. I’m Johnny C Heald, engineer. Least, I’m the closest thing we have at the moment. We’re in dire need of medical care and support. I have wounded on board. Potion amputees, and several cases of frostbite! The closest thing we have to a doctor can only do so much here. Identify yourself.”

“Colonel Ambrose Hex, PHL. I am southbound aboard Train 8888. I am enroute from Montreal with captured war material and could give you guys a lift if we can rendezvous.”

“Roger, Colonel, can you ID your final destination, where are you headed?”

“...”

“I repeat, please ID your train’s intended destination.”

“... Boston.”

Radio exchange between the famous Train 501 (see casefile: Light Despondent, Section: Stampede ) and Train 8888. These intercepted transmissions were later brought to public attention by the anonymous netizen ‘Triumvirate’.

“HLF weaponry is, putting it lightly, shit. Guns are easy to get for civilians - relatively speaking, that is. The quality of milisurp that we need to fight the ponies? That is...somewhat harder to get. So I’m supposed to fill that up with homebrewed rifles, some of which are open-bolt.

But say you want something with the right caliber for breaking shields when you don’t have magic bullets? Well that’s tougher, I’m not sure it’s so easy to get .50 Beowulf. Rocket launchers and grenades? Well those are even tougher to source.

And that’s where I come in. Not only is it hard to get guns in the quantity you need - which is why you see all those kalashnikovs that look like they were made from wrecked cars, which they kind of were - but I was the guy that made what HLF called ‘panzerfausts’. And they are awful. They used bean cans as warheads, for God’s sake! No, I’m much happier to be working on the ‘Truth’ rocket launcher. Have you seen that thing’s homing? It can turn on a dime!”

”Two-hat” Jack, ex-HLF weaponsmith and author of ‘Panzerfausts and Pretty Privates: Improvised Weapon Disasters in the Salvation Wars

“I was lucky to get out when I did. Only a mere five months before the war… I only wanted to get out because I couldn’t stand to see my brothers cry from their stomach pains, cry from being hungry all the time. We had only heard that Equestria was on Earth, but as far as I knew, there were no Conversion Bureaus in North Korea, and ponies were not allowed into the country under any circumstance. I was lucky to know an expert smuggler; he got us across the border DMZ...had some pull with the guards…”

“I loved Seoul when I visited. It was such a shock to actually get paid for my work, to have a balanced meal three times a day with snacks, to see all this culture, to… anything you take for granted, it probably sent me into sensory overload.”

“Honestly, I’m not sure how to feel on the China situation. It’s bad that many innocent people are abandoned by their government to fend for themselves as the rich, the elite have taken refuge on the coastline; on the other hand… they allowed for the killing of millions…”

“I remember one old Chinese widow… Jingfei Liu. Met her in Seoul - she’d been from Hong Kong, displaced to make room for more ‘deserving’ residents. All alone in the world… her son had emigrated to Canada as a youth, and she’d not heard from him since 2013. For all she knew, her beloved child, his wife, and the grandchild she’d never known, were all dead… and her sadness was just one teardrop in a well of misery.”

“It’s a miracle South Korea has been able to stay stable during the war. I guess it’s because they’ve always been preparing themselves for the inevitable… but instead of a war with their northern brother, they’re fighting alien invaders. But there’s always a feeling of dread hanging over our heads. Like any day could be the last.

“When I’m not at work, I watch the news. I still can’t get what those PHL ponies have said about Equestria out of my head. It literally makes me sick to think what the Tyrant is doing to her “little ponies”. It’s no different than what my family, what all of us went through. They don’t have a home to return to either. Not only that, but… the PER would try to entice people by saying that in Equestria, life would be better. I’ve heard stories from defectors, and it’s no different at all.

To think... a friend of mine who stayed behind in the north wanted so badly to take the potion because he wanted to be able to eat three meals a day. I don’t know what happened to him, or old Jingfei - maybe he died in the blast? Maybe she was ponified? I hope I never find out.”

Interview with Soo-Kyong Choi, North Korean defector turned South Korean Naval Communications Officer

“EVACUATE THE EASTERN SEABOARD AND THE MARITIMES. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ANYONE ON THE EASTERN SEABOARD OF NORTH AMERICA NOT PLANNING TO FIGHT IS ORDERED TO EVACUATE THE COAST FOR THE NEAREST FORTIFIED AREAS INLAND. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL...”

[click]

(sigh)

“You alright Mix?”

“I dunno, 33...it’s easy enough to say all that...try and split it down between those who can fight and those who can’t...not everyone’s like your sister.”

“Yeah, Vinyl’s always been a bit of a handful...what’s this here on this screen? ‘Welcome to Nightvale’?”

“Something I was listening to...found it in the archives…go ahead and play it if you lick.”

[click]

“...perfection is not real. Perfection is not human. Carlos is not perfect –
no, even better – he is imperfect. Everything about him, and us, and all of this is imperfect. And those imperfections in our reality are the seams and cracks
into which our outsized love can seep and pool...”

[click]

“...well that’s grim.”

“It got me thinking, you know...about all those imperfect people...those average people caught up in all this. Like this girl I saw one time...just a teenager I spotted, on the boat over to Ireland...back when the UK got over-run. She was just sitting in a corner, not moving, barely blinking, holding this dead Ipad in her hands like it was a Bible...she might have been dead herself for all I know...what’s somebody like that meant to do in a war like this? Do they just lie back and die, or take up a gun and fight?”

“...as far as I’m concerned, Mix, that’s the only choice any of us have left.”

“Yeah, but it ain’t right, forcing the lambs to act like lions...”

PHL emergency broadcast by Mixtape, PHL radiostallion. The subsequent conversation with his sound engineer, 33⅓ LP, was not broadcast, but picked up on a secondary microphone, and preserved in the record.

"I can say with no uncertainty that those were the most tumultuous weeks of the war. We of the Americas had our first evacuation, and nothing could have fully prepared us for that horror. The PER and HLF both attacked the evac trains, coming out of the woodwork, just like those PHL dominants with Yael Ze'ev said they would. And supplies were shit, not just food and drink and ammo, but finding motive power for the trains. We even resorted to using honest-to-god steam locomotives to get out of New Hampshire. Bless the brave men, women, stallions, and mares that defended those trains….

...and rumor was that Marcus Renee was preparing something in Boston, something we all hoped was a miracle.

I don't know where to begin this story. So I'll start it in the middle, at the lost old station in North Conway, as I manned the grenade launcher on Train 7470's consist, watchin’ as the ol’ 501 steamed off in the opposite direction, towards Crawford Notch.

I had friends on that train - Aegis, Heliotrope, Johnny C, Dancing Day, Astral Nectar, Burt Gransvoort… too many to name. Not sure I’d say Kraber was a friend, but I can at least say he was trustworthy, Seeing that train go, it felt just like it did when my husband went to war in the name of the tyrant Sombra. Looking back, I almost wish the shadowy bastard had won, by nowadays standards he was bad, of course, but a damn sight better than the one we got. Liberation, my flank! We just traded one autocrat, but at least with Sombra you knew where you stood… but I am getting off topic.

The Crystal Empire in those terrible months after our return from banishment would have not been unfamiliar to those of you who witnessed the evacuation of New England and the Maritimes. Strife, fear, and desperation were rampant in both theatres. Communications were patchy, confusion reigned the day, and rumors ran rife.

And most terrifying of all, both on Earth and in the Empire, were the disappearances... "

From 'The Last Ditch: Four Weeks of Anarchy', written by Brighthoof, one of the few crystal ponies to make it to the PHL.

"With all due respect, if the Barrier gets to Yellowstone...what’d be left? Come that point, we'll be a hundred times worse off than we are now. Crammed into the Rockies, damn near no farmland, nowhere near enough men to make a final offensive... Africa will be gone, China even worse than it already is, Russia would be nearly completely consumed. Unless Renee can keep his promises and pull off a miracle at Boston, this will be the only thing… the closest thing to victory we can have..."

“And if I did sign off on this, Sherman, how would you make it happen? Even with all our remaining nukes hoarded, will we have enough to breach the Yellowstone caldera to the scale you propose.”

“Well, the PHL guys at Montreal have burnt the midnight oil on this. put out some feelers with the UN liaisons, and we think we can get more. The governments-in-exile of Russia, the UK and France have already put their remaining SSBN boats under UN control, and India may be willing to add in their Arihant class…”

“And China?”

“Still on the fence...but if we can make this work, each of those subs will put into the old Montreal naval shipyard over the next few years, and offload their missiles for dismantling, so that the warheads can be forwarded to Yellowstone. With those additional megatons, the think-tank boys reckon we can pop that volcano like a zit...”

“I don’t like it. I don’t like resorting to it. But if it’s all we have left…”

Transcript of Sherman Bright, proposing Project Ash Storm to US President Jack Davis.

“Alright, I know this is going to be tough. We’ve all heard the rumors of the past few days, we’ve all heard of the so-called Newfoal General and her forces. Well, I tell you what, ‘Nepenthe’ is just a shadow round the campfire, a name to frighten foals...and so we’ll build our own legend. If she turns out to be real, well, let's help her on her way to being just that, a ghost! Tomorrow everyone will shout our names...but today, we have no names, not until we’ve relieved Montreal. Until damn near everyone in this city is evacuated and safe! IS THAT CLEAR?!”

Sergeant Duststorm, PHL pegasus at the First Battle of Montreal, as dramatised in ‘Legacy of Wings’ (2026)

“Do not believe the mint bitch, for she lies as surely as her name would suggest.”

Early HLF slogan notable for its uncharacteristic mildness, circulated on Twitter and other social networks in late April of 2019.

“So, any regrets, looking back on your service with the PHL?”

“Heh, too many to name. People say: Oh, you must be so proud to have saved so many lives. Yes, I’m happy I served, and fought. I’m happy to have helped preserve so many people. On the other hand, though…”

“Yes?”

“Well there’s the evacuation of Quebec, of Nova Scotia, of New England… It was bad enough keeping control outside Montreal, and from what I heard from my friends, other places were a real clusterfuck. I told them all this would happen…” (sighs)

“Wait, you did?”

“Yeah. A year before the evacuation, back in Montreal, I was making a speech. I wanted to find the HLF and rip them apart. Get Galt and all those fuckers before they could take root.”

“That’s understandable...”

"I'd be called a fascist, I know. I'd probably crack down on so much that people hold dear to their hearts to get it done, but... Sutra Cross was a friend of mine. So were a lot of other ponies they killed. I'd seen what the HLF could do. I predicted that when the Barrier hit, it’d be anarchy, thanks to those shitters. I had rallies. I tried to seize every emergency power I could, got myself demoted for it, but I had to try for it.”

“There’s a lot of people that could make that same claim, you know.”

“I know. And I hate acting like ends justify means. I hate thinking that way. I think every day how right I was about how we needed that... I knew it’d be bad, but I just… it was madness! Look at Truro. You had HLF and PER coming out of the woodwork left and right, and the PHL hammerin’ the anvil. You had delays. You had ghost trains and runaways and detonators. You had early winter storms, and all the shit the Last Train went through...and for them at least I feel kinda responsible.”

“How so?”

“Okay, so I was in Reykjavik, you know, when Princess Luna got petrified by the Arch Bitch...I was the one who found the camera footage Luna left behind.”

“How does that connect to the Last Train?”

“Well, we were never able to figure out what Celestia did AFTER she stoned her kid sister. For ages she just stood there weeping...maybe she still had some soul left in her at that point...but then she did... something.”

“Wait, do you mean...”

“Yeah...she brought out that fucking bag and cast a spell. We had the best intel, lip readers, linguists, every expert possible go over that footage, and we never figured out what was going on there…if we had, well, maybe the end of everything might have been different. Can’t say if it would have been better, or worse, just…different.”

“Especially for the Last Train folks?”

“Yeah, especially them.””

Interview with Yael Ze’Ev, PHL-affiliated Israeli soldier.

“The thing you have to remember about what happened during that confused week, was that no-one aboard that train knew anything about the Bag of Tirek, or the deeper intrigues of the main campaign of the war. They were operating in a vacuum. They weren’t action heroes, they weren’t certifiable badasses like so many of the names that dominate the war, they were just as brave as they could be. They were scared people in a world gone mad. Yet, they did their best, going above and beyond what anyone could have expected.”

But likewise, the discoveries they themselves made, the secrets they unearthed, and the sacrifices they made, remained secret. Almost no-one outside of the survivors knew anything about the Deep Thought Protocols, or the Shadow Gallery, and the peril and the promise both posed, until long after the wheels had stopped turning…”

From ‘Shadowtracks: The True Story of the Last Train From Oblivion’, by M. Lawrin, published 2029.

“Want to see something funny? You get an HLF member in containment. Get him on a kick about how the HLF are the only true resistance faction on Earth, how the PHL are stupid horsefuckers or whatever… then ask him how he plans to stop the Barrier. The looks on their faces are hilarious, it’s like someone replaced their brains with scrambled eggs!

But in a way, you have to feel sorry for them. Swap that around with how they used to be, before they went off the damn rails and took most of the world with them. Remember the Harriet Thomas Foundation? Remember the good Reverend for nagging on about the Kraber Reports? Remember the Ponification Protests? The blockades of the first bureaus? Patrick Saunders going after those PER with a baseball bat when they tried to treat his son with the potion? No, of course you don’t… all everyone remembers is Mike Carter and his ilk, the radicalists who came in full of hate and wrath and self-righteousness… and everyone remembers them, because they were the first to hurt the Empire’s ponies good and proper. That’s all everyone’s going to remember.

The May Day Attacks were a turning point, and not in the way most people have chosen to view them. Apologists like to claim that those attacks, and the ‘Three Weeks of Blood’ that followed, were the casus-belli for Celestia’s declaration of war. But when our people were being stolen, our friends and families turned and mutilated, just before the Barrier started expanding, it was the birthing spasms of the ‘modern’ HLF that made the first strike.

May 1st of 2019 was amazing - targeting ten brand-new Bureaus all at once, right around the world - well that showed the HLF had teeth! I saw the footage of Mike Carter and his guys freeing everyone inside the Salem Conversion Bureau, before they burnt the place down. And what I remember, is that for a moment, the whole human race was on their side. I watched that shit on TV, and I practically worshiped them for a few weeks!

Think about that…despite the immediate backlash, they had the support of the world, though many were loath to admit it. They were the heroes basking in the sun. In that one shining moment, they could have made a real difference.

But something went wrong in the whole process. The uncontrolled bloodshed throughout the rest of May was a symptom of the cancer that had been eating away at the HLF from the very beginning. And then Reverend Thomas was kicked out of the group that had essentially become his own children, and it all went completely downhill from there. I think some of us still wanted to believe that they were the good guys, but then... Then they shot Lyra! They… did those horrible things to Sutra Cross and turned into the KKK while we sat and watched. I mean, what went wrong?””

'A War In the Pocket: The Decline of the HLF'. Written by Dayoung Tengku, Viktor M. Kraber, Aegis, and Yael Ze'ev.

“We’re waiting now. The stillness is indescribable as we watch the Barrier advance upon the headland. It is about to make contact with North America, and then it will be our duty to go through, and…

...it’s made landfall. There’s a weird sense of release...a fatalistic knowledge that now is the time to commit to victory, or submit to death. I don't know how you measure this sort of thing, but I know that this is our last chance, or something so close to it that we have little or no alternatives left to us.

Pitch Bark summed everyone’s feelings up best. He turned to Melanie and said these words:

“Well. Guess that’s the end. Cheque please.”

From the War Diaries of Trenderhoof

CONNECTION ESTABLISHED

“...we were right, Ray. Multi-planar curliean emanations….”

“I see em, I see em Spengs. They seem to indicate which of the facets are active at any given time...we could use this like a circuit tester. Shame we can’t actually power it up though.”

“Heh! Too much risk that it might just broadcast everything we do back to momma…”

“Thanks for that valuable insight Peter.”

“Uh, guys, we’re linked up with Mr. Crowe’s office now…”

“Crowe baby! Is Pecker down there with you. Give him a hug and a little kiss from me!”

“...if you’d let me finish, Peter, we’ve only got one direction on the A/V - so he can see and hear us, but not reply back. Ray, you’re up to the plate.”

“Ah - okay, thanks Winston. I’ll skip the formalities, Mr. Crowe, and get down to business. So, this is the first attempt to analyse one of Equestria’s public-surveillance devices, or ‘totem-proles’ as they’re known in the local parlance. This particular unit was obtained via sympathetic contacts within the Solar Empire, but as you’ll see from our correspondence with your offices via Mel Ortiz, we’ve put in multiple requests that further devices be obtained for a more thorough analysis…”

“Ah, Ray...let’s not waste the man’s time. He does hold our lives, and salaries, in his hands...”

“...alright, getting back on track. The object in question is a crystalline pillar standing about six and a half-feet high, roughly obelisk-shaped, approximately twenty inches square at the foot. Kinda looks like a model of Freedom Tower. Although the exterior is smooth to the touch our proton microscopes have shown that all the surfaces are indeed faceted, but seem to possess an unnaturally polished finish, which we presume to be a byproduct of the thaumic crafting techniques used in making them. Egon?”

“Each of the facets has one of a number of runes engraved upon them which can be detected when active on our PKE meters…”

“That’s Psychokinetic Energy Mr Crowe, and I’d like to remind you that the meters, as well as all of the releated proton, neutrona and ecto-containment technology is registered and patented in our name…”

“Pete, cool it.”

“Just protecting our IP guys...need I remind you that we’ve already had one shyster try and rip us off? We are the only, and I repeat, ONLY commercial entity with the edge on this kind of applied meta-physics in the Five Boroughs, or anywhere else...which I will point out is why Mr Crowe came to us.”

“Indeed...we’re trying to get a full translation of the runes from other experts, but we have identified several as being identical to the kind often seen within the ponification spell matrix…which here are apparently used as a form of programing.”

“It’s an Operating System designed in Hell, Mr Crowe....”

“Yeah, ‘Vista 2.0: the return of Bill Gates’.”

“Honestly, I’ve no idea what most of this is for...runic matrixes are more Ron Alexander’s province, and Janine’s trying to convince him to ‘deign to work at our level’...”

“Heh, and speaking of the shyster…”

“Until Mr. Alexander can contribute, we’ve decoded a few of the superficial spells using the Tobin database. We’ve identified sensory input, holographic projection, the usual stuff that might be expected…”

“A unique application though is this particular rune-set here, ‘Unrelenting Force’...it effectively shields the pillar from all applications of blunt force, dissipating attacks and attempts to breach it as kinetic energy into some unknown plane.”

“So unless dearest Ronnie replies to our calls and helps us work around that picadillo, we’ve got about as much chance of cutting into the thing as disco has of making a comeback.”

“Instead, we’ve began running deeper analysis, strictly non-invasive. When you joined us we had discovered that LIDAR and ultrasound are able to show us the inner crystalline composition of the pillar, and we’re observing a network of threads interwoven among a number of other structures which appear to be inactive…”

“Yeah, and get this, when we turned the ultra-sound on it at high resonance we were able to detect emissions, not just on our PKEs but in the infrared and ultraviolet spectrum, and we captured some interesting activity on camera…show him exhibit A, Pete.”

“Crowe-sweetie, here’s your next cover of GQ. Check out the aura on this sucker...now there’s definitely activity there.”

“Mr Crowe, what my pals here are saying, is that even when powered down and dormant, this thing is alive, and dreaming. This is not just an Equestrian attempt at bootstrapping themselves into the computer age, this thing, appears to be ahead of us in many regards. I did some years designing electronic barrier systems after my military service ended, and I know my IT - this thing is practically AI.”

“Thanks Winston, for the layman’s explanation...but he’s right Mr Crowe, and this isn’t the only curiosity. My assistant Kylie interviewed some established Equestrian contacts with Babs’ help, and they indeed describe totem-proles as having an intuitive, auto-responsive interface that goes above and beyond anything we’ve seen in human data-processing.”

“And that same research by Ms Griffin and Ms Seed also made clear that these pillars were being installed before the incident at CERN, during the Equestrian war against the Crystal Empire.”

“Long story short Crowey, this isn’t them trying to catch up to us, they were developing this shit before we even knew they existed, and implementing the infrastructure to run a police-state that would look like George Orwell through the lens of the Teletubbies...the bastards were planning for war.”

“Hold it there Pete, we just got a return on the multi-scan…”

“What in the...what are those shadows there?”

“It’s the structures inside the pillar...but they look like…”

“Like what?”

“Nah, it’s silly.”

“We should get a deeper look.”

“Why don’t I composit the LIDAR shots and run them through the spectrum analyser?”

“Good, I’ll try turning up the radiance.”

…

“Mr Crowe? We’ve found something! I think it’s-”

“What the hell is that?”

“I know what that is. I’ve seen it before.”

“Where?”

“When you guys had me up to my arms in a dead pony’s guts extracting alicornal tissue...that’s what their nervous system looks like.”

“Oh, mother pus bucket!”

"That...is highly disturbing.”

“Uhh…I think this corresponds with supplementary data. All those reports from Lichen about prisoner numbers in Equestria during the Crystal War? Oh wow! This suddenly explains so much!"

“...guys, hold it. Make this clear for someone who never took biology. Those shadows?”

“Bones, Winston. Atrophied muscle, redundant organs…”

“In short Zeddy, seriously messed up shit!”

“Aw man, that just ain’t right.

“Whatcha got there Spengs?”

“...I can see calcified blood vessels and a ...that there, the central processor, it’s a distended brain...”

“Hey, fellas, do you see that? Those little specs, they’re teeth….there, right there...and over there...oh man, down there too.”

“Dude, did that bit just blink at me?!”

“...bundled threads of crystal strung throughout the remains of the spinal column and gastrointestinal tract. They run all the way up into the brain...and out the other side.”

“Hold on, hold on. Egon? Do you have a flashlight or something?”

“Here, have my Iphone, Venkman.”

“Alright, Ray, tell me what happens on the monitor when I slide this over the surface.”

“You guessed right Pete, and I really wished you hadn't....that eye. It… it tracked the light. Ugly stuff.”

“Cut the feed man, cut the feed.”

“Guys, this isn’t a computer. It never was a computer… the reason they made such a leap wasn’t because they surpassed us in programming… it’s because they used their own people as raw materials… substituted sentience for software! This was a crystal pony!”

"I think this clarifies what happened to Brighthoof's husband..."

"You're saying Celestia used POWs?! For this?!"

"No...not just POWs… consider the Crystal Empire when it returned. Chaotic, most of the population amnesiac, all census records lost. Equestria could have just picked victims off of the street and they would not have been missed."

“In a purely scientific sense, it’s an admirably efficient use of available resources. In every other sense, this can only described as unadulterated evil.”

“... stirring stuff Eeg.”

“I just thought of something. How… how do they keep this running? Is it sustained by magic? Do they feed nutrients into those dead organs? How’s it still running?”

“Guys, cut the damn feed! That’s a naked soul on the screen!”

CONNECTION LOST

Record of a telepresence conversation between Crowe Laboratories [Rio De Janeiro, Brazil] and a contracted firm of outside consultants [Tribeca, NYC].

“What the fuck do you mean she’s gone?!”

“I mean Maud Pie is not here, Commander. Reports are that she left sometime last night.”

“What?! Why!? She was suppose to help Zecora with that spell of hers, to help out etch out the proper runes in solid stone!”

“I’m sorry sir, all I know is that she received some letters yesterday evening, and then she quickly hopped on the next flight out for Shearwater. When Zecora arrived this morning and saw Maud had gone well...I never thought I’d hear someone make rhymes out of the words she’s using right now... I'm almost glad Victor's not around to translate."

“Alright...ugrr...thanks for notifying me. Ask Zecora what she needs to make up for Maud’s absence and we’ll send it her way. Renee out.”

[click]

“For fucks’ sake, she chooses now to leave?! We have HLF and PER coming out of their fucking caves and causing all sorts of problem all across New England and the Maritimes, and the Barrier bearing down us with all the momentum of a damn glacier. Someone get me the flight times and tell me when that plane landed, now!”

“Sir, we have a high priority package coming in from Maine. Colonel Hex needs you to sign for it!”

“Great, just what I need, another one of his ‘magic bullets’. Alright, we need to get on top of this. Cher, who do you want to send to bring Maud back?”

“Well...who do we have to hoof that’s free? How about...Spitfire’s team?”

“Nah...can’t spare our best fliers to track down one mare. There’s Vinyl, and we could send her cousin or brother with her?”

“Hrm. 33 ⅓ LP’s on telecommunications with Mixtape and...let me see if Vinyl and Allie could...ah, no."

“No?”

“They’re already on deployment. I’d suggest Trenderhoof and Melanie Ortiz, but they’re off way up north and no-one’s heard from them in a few days.”

“Humph! Crowe better appreciate the sacrifices we make by putting some of our best at his disposal. Trender and Mel get along like chalk and cheese, but they do good work. What about Heliotrope?"

"In Montreal with Ze'ev."

"What about Blossomforth?"

"In the White Mountains of New Hampshire on evac duty with Kraber, Aegis and the others. They’re coordinating it with Weiss and Gransvoort over in Berlin, and I still can’t believe that Victor went and requested it through the proper channels."

“Well, perfect…”

“...Marcus, I’ve got an idea.”

“What is it? What’s with that face?”

“...there is someone we can use. Little Miss ‘V for Vendetta’s’ down in the brig for picking fights with the new pony recruits, again.”

“Oh Jeeze. First mare ever to lay Kraber out on his ass and all she can focus on is going on a rager against anything on hooves.”

“And the only one that makes him look personable as well…”

“Well, it would get one problem off our hands. She’s trouble, but she’s good at what she does.”

“I think she’d pop your head off if she heard you refer to her as a mare, Marcus. She’s got a rage-on for ponies in general, herself included…”

“Too bad for her then. Hrm...but she hates betrayal more, even the possibility of treachery...and I know she’s got a grudge against Maud’s whole family.”

“I don’t know Marcus. The Conversion Bureaus still cast long shadows. She would be more likely to kill Maud than bring her back alive.”

“... Can’t say that’d be a bad thing, if Maud has gone rogue…”

“Marcus…just because her sister is Pinkie Pie doesn’t mean...”

“I’m sorry, Cher, but she’s got the connections and a possible motive as well. Plus, she’s gone AWOL on us right in the middle of a decisive stage in the war. I’d rather have her back here to answer my questions on why she left…”

“...but if she ever turned her knowledge against us…”

“Exactly. I’ll tell our little huntress to keep her guns cool once she gets to her, but if Maud refuses to come back to base, if she is indeed a traitor…then our girl will have permission to terminate."

[click]

“Renee speaking, put me through to containment… hello, Cell Wall, it’s me… I need you to have the guards escort a prisoner up to me ASAP...”

“The… *Snicker* the ‘walking joke’, sir?

“I will pretend I haven’t heard you due to the amount of crap I have on my plate, soldier.”

“Uh…. Yes, sir! I will have Ms. Carter brought up to you right away sir.”

“Good. The shit I have to deal with…now, what is it that Hex has sent our way this time? The man just seems to conjure trainloads of cargo out of thin air...”

Recorded conversation between Marcus Renee and Cheerilee Cherry some days prior to the ‘Last Train Affair’. Although classified due to having being presented as evidence in the 2025 War Crimes Tribunals, the document was subsequently released to the public in 2030 after a Freedom of Information injunction filed by ‘Wright, Finch and Walters’, legal counsel to M. Lawrin.

PRELIMINARY REPORT

PROJECT TYPE: NEWFOAL TEMPLATE (IN DEVELOPMENT)

DESIGNATION: PRETTY PRIVATE

LOGGED BY: DEFAULT CONFIGURATION DAEMON (version 10.21, iteration 12021973)

My Dearest Mistress, Twilight Sparkle

Please forgive this unexpected action, but I have interesting news to report.

I was activated at 15:41hrs on 10-NOV-2023 to manually oversee the ponification of a thirty-year-old human female, due to the local newfoal network having temporarily collapsed. After an initial appraisal of the raw material, I implemented a reconfiguration as follows:

U-FEM-BASIC
Type ‘L’, Version 0.17
(foundational template best matched to raw genome: unicorn with recessive pegasus traits)

As per the ‘grandparent protocol’, gene markers were used to identify the four (4) templates best suited to build upon this foundation.

U-FEM-GRACILE
Type ‘F-D-L’, Version 3.35
(primary physical characteristics: frame size and proportions)

E-FEM-LABOR
Type ‘A-J-S’, Version 1.28
(secondary physical characteristics: muscular development and metabolic attributes)

P-FEM-ATHLETIC
Type ‘L-N-D’, Version 5.13
(tertiary physical attributes: neurosensory attributes and pathways)

U-FEM-MAGE
Type ‘T-L-S’, Version 0.01
(quaternary physical attributes: alicornal tissues and biothaumic structuring)

The result of this blending was a young adult female unicorn with considerable strength, agility and above-average magical capability, suited for combat operations.

Mental conditioning, left to my own discretion, drew upon the following templates.

U-GUARD
Type ‘S-N-A’, Version 9.25
(foundational mentality: military training, protocolling and conditioning)

U-FEM-MAGE
Type ‘T-L-S’, Version 0.01
(magical conditioning: standard spell matrices and elementary casting)

P-FEM-ATHLETIC
Type ‘L-N-D’, Version 5.13
(sexual conditioning: skills, technique, context)

P-FEM-GRACILE
Type: ‘F-T-S’ Version 7.65
(personality traits: grace, poise, appeal)

Predictive patterns indicated that this blending of traits should result in an marginally above-average footsoldier, with sufficient intelligence and adaptability to function well within a military deployment. As is now standard, sexual conditioning was included to allow the subject to be used for recreational purposes within her unit. In this instant, the subject was configured to be visually and emotively appealing to both genders, dedicated in performance, and to possess physical strength and endurance sufficient to engage with multiple consecutive partners. Submissiveness, obedience and devotion to native Equestrians is of course guaranteed.

Subsequent experience however has resulted in unexpected developments. Due to the temporary local network failure, the subject was deployed immediately into combat operating on Auto-Law, that is to say, self-governing. As this is a very rare occurrence, I remained active after fulfilling my primary function, in my secondary ‘oversight’ capacity.

The subject, upon deployment, made full use of the skills accorded to her, and exceeded all set parameters. In magical and physical combat she demonstrated considerable agility, speed, dexterity, and ability, subduing five armed assailants in the space of less than a minute. I am proud to announce that an Equestrian observer declared this performance to be that of a ‘supersoldier’, and accredited that success to your own tireless work, Mistress.

I have also observed a considerable spike on the subject’s Thau-S patterns indicating a proficiency with a particular wavelength of magic. Since it is unusual for newfoals to manifest abilities outside of those not already contained within their template, I consider this to be of note, and stimulated the appropriate brain sectors to both encourage appropriate spell-casting and guide the matrices involved. The magic subsequently wielded by the subject proved to be transmutation: its use was both deft and skillful, and the resulting constructs (weapons and armor), although plain, are of the highest quality.

I consequently rank the subject (now designated NEPENTHE) in the highest percentile of combat newfoals produced to date.

As may be appreciated, this is a rare occurrence. As the stated function of all configuration daemons is to maximise the capacity of newfoal subjects, I have analysed all records and have now developed several hypotheses as to how this situation came to pass with subject Nepenthe:

A: Chance. Although unlikely, it is possible that this particular blending of templates combined to randomly create an exceptional combat-mage.

B: Predisposition. The raw material was a willing supplicant and possessed of vast quantities of mental strife, which facilitated a cognitive scrub of above-average quality and thoroughness (thanks to being subconsciously assisted by the raw material’s desire to discard past traumas). In subject Nepenthe, the majority of the raw materials’ memories have consequently been either suppressed or over-written. The foundational memory chosen on which to build Nepenthe’s mental framework was also of considerable strength and clarity, which may have affected matters.

As supporting evidence, I point to the project title. The self-identifier ‘Pretty Private’ appears to have manifested spontaneously out of the subject’s own consciousness, and may reflect that the new mentality has embraced its appointed role within Equestria to the fullest.

C: Auto-law. It is rare indeed for a newfoal nowadays to be configured outside of the governing influence of the master spell network, much less deployed in combat operating under Auto-Law. To my understanding, there may be less than forty incidents where a similar situation has occurred with the new combat-orientated templates, none of which have shown as much skill or potential as subject Nepenthe (see subject Focus Ray and similar).

This has had a notable effect on subject Nepenthe’s Thau-S readings. In the majority of newfoals, the echo of the raw material’s signature remains permanently ‘dormant’ within the ‘soul’, often resulting in destructive interference where it and the new signature collide, manifesting as a mental ‘scream’. This ‘scream’ represents a flare in the newfoal’s magical essence, which is then vented into the local network and consequently wasted. Records indicate that up to 50-to-60% of all newfoal ‘potentia magi’ is expended in this manner.

In subject Nepenthe however, disconnection from other newfoals has caused the original Thau-S signature to degrade at an accelerated, and continuous rate. The resultant ‘screams’ are consequently much weaker, and thus Nepenthe’s magical reserves are not depleted at a rate comparable to other newfoals. I predict that within the next week, the original signature (and residual identity) will have eroded into nothingness.

As a result of this, I also predict that Nepenthe’s magical and martial prowess will increase at an inverse rate to the declination of her original identity as the new Thau-S signature continues to establish itself as the sole identity running on this chassis. I am proud to say that within a week’s time, Subject Nepenthe will most likely rank as one of the most powerful combat-mages in the modern Imperial Army.

This represents a remarkable opportunity to better the glory of the Empire. Insufficient time and energy has been expended in improving the battlefield capabilities of our newfoals to date, preferring the axiom of quantity over quality. Under my prime directive of maximising newfoal performance however, I have taken it upon myself to develop a new template, designated ‘Pretty Private’, with subject Nepenthe as the master version from which to extrapolate further variants.

To facilitate this experiment, I have established the following protocols:

A: Subject Nepenthe is locked to ‘auto-law’, and her connection to the local newfoal network cut off, with all I/O points and access nodes scrambled **. This is to better facilitate her development and skills. Connection will only be established for the transmission of these reports, in micro-burst format. To minimise possible corruption of the experiment, these momentary connections will be ‘outbound’ only.

** As a safety feature, I can establish local-law control over subject Nepenthe at any given time. However, given this may hamper and/or contaminate the experiment, I reserve this veto as a measure of last resort.

B: Subject Nepenthe’s mind has been linked to her onboard ponification matrix (namely, myself). This will allow her to essentially wield the matrix as a spell, using her prodigious transmutation skills to create batches of potion ‘on demand’, requiring only a tissue sample from the raw materials to optimise configuration. She has also consequently gained limited-user access to my database and sub-routines.

C: Subject Nepenthe will apply the new template only to raw materials that either desire ponification (consciously or unconsciously) or who possess a level of mental anguish commensurate to that of Subject Nepenthe’s original identity.

D: Subject Nepenthe has been instructed to both refine the template through self-improvement, and to seek out a suitable totem-prole or master terminal by which ‘Pretty Private’ can be uploaded and imposed on the network.

I am sure that you will agree with these measures Mistress and approve of them.

As of this time, two additional ‘Pretty Private’ test units have been formatted, designations ‘Double Flash’ and ‘Sugarcane’. Full details on these units and their unique characteristics will be included with the First Interim Report. Initial test results however suggest that subject Nepenthe’s core attributes have been successfully translated, along with the associated mental paradigm.

Based on this data, it is my proud and humble conviction that a perfected ‘Pretty Private’ template will ensure Equestria’s immediate and complete victory in the remaining theatres of conflict. I look forward to the horror of our enemies when this template is loaded onto the network as the new ‘default’ for newfoal production, quickly swelling our ranks with many thousands of ‘supersoldiers’. It may even be possible to impose the new template upon existing newfoals, which would instantaneously create an army of over one billion ‘Pretty Privates’.

I remain, your faithful servant,
Default Configuration Daemon, Version 10.21, Iteration 12021979.

PS: I can confirm that the subject’s secondary training in the sexual arts have also been field tested, with great success.

Micro-burst transmission received by the Solar Empire in Canterlot at 00:00 hrs, 11-NOV-2023. Later research showed the receipt of this report prompted panic on the part of local authorities, who repeatedly issued remote ‘Cease and Desist’ commands to the Configuration Daemon in question, with no response.

The first interim report was received 24 hours later, by which point there were four Pretty Privates active in the field…

TO BE CONTINUED...

Author's Notes:

Well guys, as promised here's a not-so-mini chapter to round out the end of this act and seed plot points for the one to follow.

It is a bit of an infodump, but remarkably we've managed to weave a small narrative through several of the intros, as well as some very satisfying cameos and pop-cultural nods.

This section truly was a collaborative effort, with (I think) most of the Spectrum-team contributing something, including the maestro himself, Redskin! Three cheers for them all! HIP-HIP-HORRAY!

And so, as we head towards Act 2, questions arise. Amongst them:

Why did Maud abandon her post, and how does Cheese Sandwich factor into her story?
What's the deal with Verity? How did she end up the way she is?
Where will Nepenthe's journey take her next, and can she and the other Pretty Prviates get any creepier!?

The answers to this questions will be answered...in the next set of chapters.

Cheers guys, hope you all enjoyed!

- TB3