Saturday, October 10th, 1700 AFE

Dusk stared at the half-written letter, his jaw slack while the tip of the quill twisted and spun, dancing against his nose. Frustrated, he again turned to the half-written page, scrawling his eyes over what few details he had written. “It is with the deepest respect that I request... “ And, this was where he was stuck. Groaning, Dusk shoved the unwritten letter aside, looking for some sign of hope below it.

Of course, such hope was fleeting; it was why he had been in such an abundance of insecurity to begin with. With a fleeting moment of hope, Dusk pulled out the point form list of characteristics he had jotted down about the mare, and struggled to see more than the shallow details offered.

"Dear Princess Luna, I have spent far little time with Zecora to properly provide a detailed profile of her as I've offered before. Failing more time to research and interact with her, I can provide these few details below."

Dusk winced even as he read that opening, and shoved the page aside without reading the rest. Shoving that page aside to join the letter to Princess Celestia, Dusk turned to the final paper in the pile before him, and let his breath out and closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind before lifting the page and reading the final paragraph again.

"I understand if this is asking a lot of you, but I promise it comes from only the best of intentions.

"That's, that's simply painful. I need to just rewrite it all over again." Deflated by his inability to finish any of his personal letters, Dusk looked to the outbox, full to overflowing with completed letters from his work as Ponyville’s magistrate, all had been finished while putting off writing his more important personal work. "Maybe... maybe I could look over the mayor's tax report again... I'm sure I missed something!"

Dusk gave a sigh, shaking his head and looking back to the letter to Bronze that lay before him. "What about: 'regretting your absence'? No... too negative. 'Longing for a reply?' No, too needy. What about: 'with hope for a second chance.' Hmm... better. Better..."

Hands slipped over his shoulders, long, slender fingers working into the tense muscles of his neck. As nails dragged into the knotted tense muscles, Dusk's eyes rolled reflexively back as endorphins flooded and stress was relieved. Relaxing back in his chair and into the mare's expert touch. "Rarity, your fingers really are magical."

Hushing him, Rarity wrapped her arms around his neck from behind, leaning in and looking over the paperwork upon his desk. "You have been overworking yourself again, Dusk. Barbara says you hardly touched lunch, and were up and working before she got out of bed. Now I find you all tense and stressed. What is it, Dusk? Is it Zecora? Is it Bronze?"

Dusk drew an easy breath, enjoying the scent of her perfume, a hint of rose and lavender mixed with something he couldn't name. "It's both, Rarity. I... I know you said to write what was in my heart, but I do not wish to scare her, not when she is already so scarred by what the poison joke did to her."

Leaning on him with more of her weight, Rarity placed her lips on the lobe of his ear, nibbling two times before answering. "Dusk, we've talked about this, so just relax, breathe, and listen to me, carefully. You said you care for her, so you can offer her a hand, and if she accepts it, we will find a way to make it work, I promise. Now write. I'm going to pick up an early dinner. I think I'll ask Derpy to come pick up this personal letter for the last train to Canterlot this evening. So you'd better have it ready."

Derpy couldn't help herself. Dipping down, she wrapped her arms around her foal and snatched the girl up into her arms, spinning in place and planting a warm kiss on the girl's nose. "Dinky! You naughty little filly! Why do you always keep me waiting after class?"

Blushing with embarrassment, but happy at the same time, Dinky hugged her mother tightly in return, shaking her head. "It's not like that, mom! I just like to volunteer for classroom cleanup! It only takes a little while, and Miss Cheerilee is always really friendly and talkative while doing her work as I cleanup."

"Oh, Dinky! You're such a good girl! Always looking out for others!" Settling the filly across her shoulders, Derpy squeezed her knees to help her keep balance and started to walk home, happily humming to herself.

Dinky's question ended that, her unexpected comment catching her off guard. "Was... was dad like that too? I know you've talked about his work at the hospital all the time. But you don't talk much about your personal lives back then. Can I ask, momma?"

Derpy hadn't seen this question coming, and had no quick answer ready, so she instead let her wings unfold and fan them both gently. "Oh, I, well, I... err. Yeah, he liked ponies. Liked to help anypony in need. It was always great to see him at work. He... he was kinda like Dusk, you know? You did get to see him the other day when he helped out at the school with magic classes, right?" Dinky gave a nod, so she tried to continue, piecing together her thoughts as best as she could in the hope that she found a good conclusion at the end of her line of thought. "He gets this little smile, and dives into his task with great vigor. I saw it when he was writing some paperwork for the princess while I waited. It's almost delightful... he does remind me of Pan in that way."

Dinky sighed, but hugged her a little tighter, leaning closer as she shivered a little against the wind. "And... your relationship? What was life like?"

Lost in thought as to how to phrase her answer, Derpy finally smiled and gave her foal a nod. "I’ll tell you what. Let me tell you about our first date, okay?"

Derpy still felt weird about entering the clinic when she didn't have an appointment. It felt odd, watching the poor; and the sick mill about while waiting for their appointments. But Soothing Rain was at the reception desk, and quickly motioned her over; the pegasus was passing some paper back to an old earth mare before her, and turned back to Derpy as the woman left, her wings involuntarily flexing behind her back. "Oh!~ Dr. Panacea's just a little behind. Sorry, Derpy, but could you... I mean, you don't mind just waiting in his office, right? You know the way up and all, and we’re a little crowded here is all."

Embarrassed, the mare flushed and Derpy suddenly didn't feel so out of place. Walking up to the counter, she gave her hand a squeeze. "I can help out, if you want. I’ve been watching you work, and I can show people to their rooms and such."

The frazzled mare looked around the room and for a moment, she looked torn between answers before another elderly mare walked out of one of the exam rooms, a paper from the doctor in her hand. That ended Rain's concerns and she pushed a folder from the top of the pile to Derpy. "Oh, thank you so much, Derpy. Just call out the name and lead the pony to the room number I write on the front cover of the folder, okay?"

Glad to help, Derpy snatched up the folder and grinned to the overworked mare. “No problem, Rain! Just let me know what else I can do to help! Maybe if I help, we can still still... um... well, you know."

The nurse laughed at Derpy as she went from confident and happy to help, to a flustered mess at the idea of a date. Petting Derpy's hand, she gave her a grin. "Oh, don't worry! Panacea is a really nice stallion, I'm sure it will go well. Now go! I've already got one mess to deal with, you goof!"

Derpy released the old mare's arm and let her take a seat in the exam room before placing her file on the desk. "Alright! Just catch your breath, and the doctor will be right in before you know it!"

Patting Derpy's arm as she got near again, the old mare gave her a toothless grin. "Thank you, dearie. So nice to have a sweet young filly around to help the poor nurses out. Why haven't I seen you around before? Do you volunteer here often?"

Derpy felt the heat creep into her cheeks at the old mare's question, nervously shaking her head as she backed towards the door. "I- what? Oh! No, no. See, me and Gil- err I mean, one of the doctors, he um... well, then, umm..."

Derpy found herself drifting off into incoherent mumbling, and despite her shame, was thrilled when the candid old mare swiftly caught on. "Ohhh. Here for one of the handsome young doctors and helping old mares is just a way to pass the time? Well then go, dearie. And if you’re going to wear a dress to try and catch his eye, I'd recommend something sleeveless; you're a cute mare, no reason not to show off for a handsome stallion!"

Derpy nodded enthusiastically as she bowed out of the room rather than have to answer the senior citizen and her suggestively wiggling eyebrows, not to mention, her cackling laughter. Halfway down the hallway back to the waiting room, the sound of raised voices made her stop despite herself. "Th... that's Gilded Panacea! What could have happened to make him take on such a tone!?"

Turning to put an ear to the wall she had been resting against to catch her breath, Derpy strained to hear what was going on inside the soundproofed room. She still couldn’t really make out anything that was being said on the other side of the wall, but occasional words were harsh enough that she knew an argument was happening, even if she couldn’t tell who the other pony was.

Looking up and down the hallway, Derpy couldn’t see anypony around, and carefully made her way to the exam room door, leaning in again to try to hear better. Instead, the sound of wood being thrown against wood, as well as something light clattering to the ground and bouncing, was followed by silence.

Just as Derpy began to worry, Panacea spoke up again, his voice terse, but struggling to remain restrained. “I don’t want your job, and I don’t care about your money. If your friends want my help, they can come to me and wait for their turn just like anypony else. I’ve seen what your clients are like and how they treat other ponies. Go away, old man… ju- just go. We’re done talking.”

As the sound of footsteps on the floor suggested somepony was approaching the door, Derpy moved away from the door and tried to walk back to the nurse’s station as if nothing had happened. Just as she entered the main room, an old unicorn dressed in an expensive silk business jacket pushed past her, storming out of the hospital. Pressed aside, Derpy had to catch a hand on the wall to avoid tripping over her own feet as the stallion stormed off.

Catching her breath, Derpy looked around the nearly abandoned front desk and struggled to smile back when Soothing Rain gave her a little smile. But it was the sudden pressure of a hand slipping into her own that shocked her and made her blush. Even before the stallion spoke, his soft scent and gentle nature told her who it was. “Sorry for keeping you waiting so long, Derpy. I know we missed our appointment for lunch. With things finally quiet, maybe we can go to an early dinner?”

Almost frozen by the gentle way he held her hand, Derpy struggled to give him a small nod and meekly smiled, glad to hear that his voice had returned to its natural tone. “I- wh? I mean, yes! Yes, of course. I’d be happy to have dinner with you, Gil-”

Shaking his head, the stallion cupped her chin with his free hand and made her look up into those carefree eyes of his. “Derpy, I’m asking you on a date and I made you wait for hours. Please, get mad and tell me I’m a bad guy! Or at least make me promise to buy you flowers or something to make up for it, okay?”

Shocked, Derpy looked around for support, but Rain was smothering her laughter in a patient’s chart and she didn’t recognize anypony else in the waiting room. Forced to look back at him by his assertive grip on her chin, Derpy attempted to nod, then frustrated with that, pulled away and made herself stand tall, flaring her wings out to help with it. “I... I, um… I demand you buy me roses for dinner! And somewhere nice, too! Not just at the little cafe I work at! And maybe then I’ll let you call it a date!”

Panting for breath, the sound of soft clapping and open laughter made Derpy look around, and realize that while Rain had been the only pony she recognized in sight, a few of the others had been listening in, and were cheering her on in their own small ways. Exhilarated by the attention, Derpy puffed herself to stand up taller and managed to even hold a glare at the stallion for a whopping five or six seconds before losing it. “I- err… Was that better?”

From her station, Rain cut in before the doctor could answer, whistling sharply by placing two fingers between her lips, then answering Derpy’s question. “Be a little more careful with your wings next time, you nearly knocked a few pictures off the wall, but good for you, Derpy!”

Happily laughing along, Gilded Panacea stepped forward and gently took her hand again. “You did great, Derpy. Just don’t take Rain’s encouragement too far. She still think’s I’m only asking you out because I’m scared of dating another doctor like her younger herd sister.”

Rain laughed at them and waved as they stepped outside, while Derpy worriedly tried to search both of their faces for hints that this was more than a simple joke. When she found nothing but soft laughter from both, she let it go and leaned a little against Pan as they walked down the street, away from the hospital, only to feel her heart jump as he finally spoke again. “Now, as for dinner? It’s a good thing we’re going for an early one. If it’s roses you want, it’s roses you will get, and Le Doux Bleu Floraison fills up quickly!”

Shocked, Derpy looked down at her simple dress, before looking back up at Pan and his wrinkled dress shirt and white slacks. “But- How will we ever get in? And Pan… I can’t possibly afford th-”

Squeezing her hand, Pan put a finger to her lips to silence her, a gentle smile curving his lips. “Derpy, you don’t need to afford it. It’s a date, and it’s my treat. Besides, they have a few small and private dining rooms on the second story, and I went to school for years with the owners. They are always bugging me to come visit, so I will. Now smile. And if you’re nice, maybe they’ll invite us up to see little Tavi after dinner. She’s the cutest little filly!” Hand in hand, Pan led her on, off to a fantastic dinner, and yes, afterwards she even got to see the young filly practising her cello.

Derpy censored most of that memory for Dinky’s sake. No reason for her to know much about her grandparents, or the way Derpy only just remembered as she looked back on that day, of how waxen Pan’s skin looked by the end of the night... No reason to spoil a fun story of a romantic night with all of the truth! In the end, it left Dinky satisfied and smiling as she ate dinner and asked questions about the date, and how it felt to meet somepony famous when they were a child.

It wasn’t until Rarity knocked at the door that she really came back from those memories, and even then, thoughts of the old hospital staff made her regret leaving Canterlot. Trying to push the bad memories aside, Derpy focused instead on the smiling mare at her door. “Sorry it took so long to answer, Rarity! I was just showing Dinky how to prepare flowers for a fondue! How can I help you?”

Rarity offered Derpy a small bouquet while she stayed out on the step and made a small gesture towards Dusk’s library. “I just wanted to check when the last mail train goes to Canterlot, and to ask of you another small favor, my dear. Oh! And of course, to bring you this bouquet to apologize for all the extra work Dusk has made you do as of late, as well as apologize for being a boor and only adding onto it all!”

Derpy accepted the flowers, and was amused to see they were a mixture of yellow and purple lilies. She turned and handed the flowers over to Dinky before turning back. "The last mail bag gets picked up off the hook at midnight, but the last train that stops to check for deliveries is the 10 pm passenger train. Should I come stop by and pick it up personally? And if it's Dusk's and it's important, why don't I just take it direct? It's no bother, really! I like helping him out, even before he became magistrate!"

Taken back, Rarity took a step back despite Derpy's warm grin, shaking her head. "What? Oh! No, no. It's not that drastically important of a thing. It's just a letter of love and support to the poor guard mare who got hurt while helping Dusk search the Everfree for that smuggler. I'm just trying to get him to finish it, so I'm a bit embarrassed to admit I threatened him to try and make him hurry it up..."

Derpy saw the hint of shame in Rarity's eyes as she admitted the mostly idle nature of her threat. Grinning a little she slipped a hand around Dinky's shoulders and squeezed her filly close to her side. "Tell you what. I could use a good flight to Canterlot to stretch my wings, and Dusk probably has lots of important paperwork that needs delivery, right?"

Worried, Rarity looked from mother to daughter and back again. "What? Well, he has a large stack in his outbox, but really, Derpy, it was just an idle threat. No reason to bother making a trip to Canterlot this late, really."

Derpy gave her a warm smile, and stroked her fingers through Dinky's hair near her horn. "No, no problem! I'll be over in an hour or two after dinner and after I change into my official uniform."

Derpy relaxed and waited, watching as Rarity looked at Dinky for support before finally letting her win. "Well, he does have a big pile of paperwork in his outbox. If you're sure that Dinky and Amethyst don't mind...?"

Dinky stepped up to Rarity's side and squeezed her hand. "Don't worry! I already finished my homework during class. I can help Amethyst with the dishes after dinner, and she's good at helping me review my homework."

With that decided, Rarity gave in and smiled down at the young filly. "You're as cute and kind as Sweetie Belle, did you know that? Alright, thank you, Derpy. I'll go home and then go to Dusk's and check up on him. See you soon, Derpy, and thanks again."

Waving at her, even as she left, Derpy gave a happy sigh, and looked down at Dinky. "You're a good girl, Dinky. Let's go eat and let Amethyst know. I'm sure Dusk’s friend can't wait to get his letter."

The wine had been good, and Derpy wished she remembered what it had been called, but that had been a few hours ago. Now she simply leaned into Pan's arms and rested her head against his chest. As the porch swing shifted under their weight, she gave a sigh and nuzzled at his exposed skin.

Leaning his head down, Panacea's voice dripped on her ear like honey. "So, all it takes is a few glasses of wine and a nice summer night to soften you up? I'll have to remember that for date six..." Then, to drive home his point, and to torment her a little extra, he began to nibble around the edge of her earlobe.

Unable to stifle her moan of pleasure, Derpy let a hand squeeze tightly on his knee. Sitting up when he released her ear, Derpy wrapped her arms around his neck, looking deep into his eyes. "Do... do we have to say goodnight, Pan? I'd... I want to stay over. Please?"

The way his cheeks reddened and the way he looked from her to the wine bottle and back again made her grin a little, and before he could ask, she pushed that question out the door. "No, I'm not that drunk. But, I, well, I love you, Pan.”

Overwhelmed by her admission, the stallion had blushed a little, but didn't delay, instead cupping her chin and drawing her close so he could kiss her. To Derpy, it felt like forever. And after? And after, they had gone back into his apartment, and had consummated their love. And then slept together under the stars’ radiant glow.

Derpy's fingers shook a little as she struggled with the tiny white buttons, wondering, not for the first time, why they insisted on having such a high collar. Straightening her shirt with both hands, she admired the crisp white uniform, and grinned at how good it looked, even if the soft blue apron did make it clear she was different from the nurses.

"Besides. That's just a matter of time, now! Today, a nurse's helper, tomorrow, who knows?!"

Giggling a little at her own thoughts, Derpy stepped out of the change room and ignored the tiny growl in her belly; she'd been too excited this morning, and Panacea had said he wasn't hungry, so they'd both skipped breakfast. Now looking around the hospital, she found herself missing their new morning ritual; even if they'd only been together for a few weeks, it had been so much fun eating breakfast together.

Walking out to the admissions desk, Derpy gave Rain a little wave, before walking behind the desk to join her. "What's in store for today, Rain?”

Shaking her head, the nurse put a few folders back into the file cabinet and turned back to Derpy. “Well, the good news is that we’ve got few appointments scheduled for today, so that’s a plus, but at all times, good news comes at a cost. Two of the nurses in the foal wing have both reported in sick, and that leaves us scrambling for an extra pair of hands. Think you could handle helping them upstairs? I know you haven't got any experience with kids, bu-"

Giddy, Derpy waved her hands excitedly. "I love foals, really! I don't mind at all! Should I go report in with the nurses right away?"

Rain laughed, shaking her head. "You're way too relaxed, Derpy. Remember, these are sick foals, and they need a lot of time and effort to care for properly."

"Don't worry Rain! You'll see! I'm a natural with foals!"

Derpy gently stroked her fingers through the whimpering girl’s hair, all the while speaking in a low, soothing tone. It was magic, watching Pan and the other doctor work together. The real shocker was when the filly stopped whimpering and started moving and jerking around as Pan tickled some soft spots near the tip of her wing.

Forced to hold the foal down with the assistance of one of the nurses, Derpy leaned in closer. "I know you're excited, and I know doctor Panacea is playing a mean trick on you by tickling your wing, but you gotta stay still until they say so, sweetheart. OK?"

The filly tried to hide her excitement, but gave in to Derpy’s strong grip and kind words. Tears in her eyes, she repeatedly flexed and unflexed her wing, at last answering Derpy. "Okay... and... and tell him thank you. I got my wing back!"

Derpy grinned, and returned to stroking the girl's hair. As glad as she was, it had been frantic. She'd been on her way to the break room when the other doctor had kicked open the door and a cart with a foal on it was pushed into the middle of the hospital. The source of her wailing was easy to identify, as her right wing hung on by the joint of the bone alone. The noise, the screaming, everything was in total disarray, until Pan had taken command, and started throwing out orders. When the blood and the wailing of the filly had sent one of the nurses running, he'd called Derpy’s name, and even walked her through what he needed her to do.

Looking down at her nice white uniform, Derpy was shocked at how much blood it had absorbed. Even the pink band around her hips to show she was just a helper was now a rich crimson from absorbed blood. "But this foal will fly again. With something like that, what does a silly uniform matter!"

As the other nurses came and helped the little filly onto a gurney and started to move her upstairs, Derpy walked to Pan's side, linking arms with him since the girl’s severed wing had coated them both rather equally in blood. "I think you've earned a coffee, doctor. Perhaps join me for one... after I change, of course."

Pan smiled at her, but a pale tone to his skin made Derpy worry; he wasn't even sweating after all that time he worked on the girl’s wing, and his eyes had such a distant look. The longer he didn't answer, the more it worried her, and it wasn't until her smile had drained away completely that he finally managed to stutter out a reply. "Nah... nah, Derpy. Think... I think... I'll take off early today."

Something in that lifeless reply hit Derpy like a knife to the heart, and she looked around, panic welling up in her chest now that his calm voice no longer whispered reassurance. Looking around frantically, she found a friendly face in her panic . "Rain! Help! Something... something’s wrong with Pan!"

Derpy wiped the tears from her eyes, and knocked again at Dusk's door. "Can't tell even part of that story without reliving the rest... oh... Pan." A sigh hissed between her lips and she looked down at her mail bag, fingering the fancy embroidery on the new bag that had come with the royal uniform. Secretly she admired the new uniform that had arrived at her home after her run-in with Princess Luna's private guard.

The crimson leather boots had needed a slight alteration, same with the matching gloves and beret, but the contrast created by the tan dress shirt and pants made the crimson hue of the jack really pop. Embroidered on her lapel were two small bars. She had no idea what they meant until she and Amethyst had asked Dusk.

Rarity opened the library door, and gestured for her to step inside, her eyes wide and Derpy was sure she was admiring the crimson messenger’s uniform. "I'm very sorry, darling! He just finished rewriting his last letter...again, and I'm sure he'll be ready for you in just a minute. Is the new uniform comfortable? I'm sorry we keep harassing you for assistance like this.""

Unfolding her wings and letting the gray feathers flare out, Derpy let herself show off for a moment, ashamed, yet delighted by the small noises Rarity was making. Stopping at last and facing the fashionable mare, Derpy offered a shrug. "I don't mind, really! I just can't wait to try it out! It's still a little weird to wear what kinda feels like a military uniform, Rarity. But I like how it has Dusk's emblem on the right breast and the gold buttons on the left; they look really snazzy! And Amethyst made a lot of small alterations to make it fit better. But are you sure it won’t make somepony mad? I'm no military mare, and you said lieutenant is an important rank. I'm not that confident I'd make a good lieutenant... I'm just a mail mare! I couldn't dare to bring myself to take this beautiful suit out for a test flight."

Rarity's soft laughter made Derpy feel better, and the mare gripped her wrist. Rarity gave her that warm, comforting smile, and it soothed some of her frayed nerves. "But you ARE an important person Derpy! You carry mail that could change ponies’ lives and other ponies need to know that. And Derpy, if it needs more alterations after tonight, please, come to me. It's the least I can do for all the extra work we've made you do."

Derpy considered arguing, but one look in those eyes made her pause and finally nod in agreement. "Sure, Rarity. I don't mind, and Amethyst likes doing alterations, so I’ll have to ask her first. I'll let you know when I get back!"

From the library, a voice called out and was followed by footsteps. "As for the emblem? It's just something I doodled one time back in school when we were told to invent family crests, so crossed scrolls over a book. It felt really appropriate, since my whole family has been shaped by books, study, science, and law." Dusk stepped around the doorway, a thick bundle of paperwork and letters carried together by his magic. He grinned at the mares and passed Derpy the stack to file it away while wrapping an arm around Rarity's hips, kissing her aggressively before turning to Derpy again. "Derpy, I want to thank you for this. And the top three letters are most important. One for each Princess, and the third for a very important patient in Princess Cadence's personal care."

Derpy snapped off a sharp salute at Dusk and gave Rarity another nod. "Then I'd better get going! It's already late enough, don't want to wake up anypony by trying to deliver too late!"

Dusk gave her a serious look then suddenly grinned and saluted her back. "Thank you, Derpy! It's good to have a friend I can count on caring for my mail. Do you need a few bits for a place to stay while in Canterlot overnight?"

Deepy thought about it a moment before shaking the idea off. "No, Dusk, but thank you for offering. Too many bad memories of my days in Canterlot. I'd rather just fly home after I make your deliveries."

The sudden look in Dusk's eyes spoke volumes of questions about her past he was preparing to ask, and Rarity took a step forward, reaching to try and take hold of her shoulder. Derpy didn't have the heart to relive those memories, not tonight, not without Amethyst's support. Snapping off another playful smile and salute and keeping her distance, she turned on her heel and stepped to the door. "I'd better leave now, Dusk, Rarity! No reason to make the princesses wait for these letters!"

Derpy ignored his attempt to call her back and question what she had meant, and took flight, letting the whistling wind dance through her feathers. She enjoyed the cool breeze, letting it blow through her hair, even as she pushed herself to soar higher, racing towards Canterlot.

But as the silence of the sky grew more prevalent, she felt her mind slipping back into the memories that still hurt to remember. She knew she had to reorganize her thoughts in a way she could explain to Dinky that wouldn’t frighten the mare until she was old enough to understand, but now was not the time. As she shifted her goggles down to cut the wind, she tried to ignore the rush of memories, but found no escape.

Pan's aunt, with Rain’s help, settled him into the bed, having helped to strip him of his bloody doctor's coat and clothing beneath. He was still so pale, and his breathing was shallow as well. It made Derpy worry even more, even as Rain and Pan's aunt did their best to reassure her.

At last, nearly an hour later, he woke up again, turning bleary eyes to look around the small room. Through cracked lips he called for her. "Derpy?"

Derpy shifted her chair closer; wrapping her hand around his, unable to help herself; she realized she was crying. "I'm here, Pan, I'm here. Are- are you okay?"

The stallion smiled, letting his eyes close again. But he held her hand, sure and strong. "I'm fine, Derpy. I’m... I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I probably scared you pretty bad."

Trying to present a courageous front, Derpy shook her head, then realized his eyes were closed again. Instead she gave his hand a squeeze, her voice strong. "Nuh- no. It's okay, Pan. Really. I'm just glad you're okay. You... you are okay, right?"

Rain's hands on her shoulders told her more than even Pan's long silence. At last he opened his eyes, looking into her, but smiling so warmly it blew away her fears. "I'm sorry, Derpy. I'm not okay, and I probably never will be. I've got a condition. I won't bother you with long names that even I struggle to pronounce. We call it the Drained Soul. It means, when I use my magic, it makes me very tired. Someday, I'll go too far while helping somepony, and I'll be unable to use my magic again. It may go too far and it'll probably kill me, someday." He rolled over, still looking into her eyes; that smile was so loving, she could have lost herself in its depths. "But if I can keep helping ponies... helping ponies like you... It’ll be worth it in the long run, Derpy. Because I made somepony's life better."

Derpy squeezed his hand and leaned down, gently kissing his lips, wiping a tear away before resting her head on his chest. "I'll stay with you, Pan. I promise. I'll help you make so many ponies’ lives better."

The crack of thunder pulled Derpy from her thoughts and back into the present. Suddenly finding herself busy fighting an unscheduled storm, she pushed on for Canterlot, finally free of the memories.

Hours later, Derpy circled the castle grounds and was shocked to have two bat pegasi soar up to join her, the armored stallions signaling for her to follow them down. Unquestioningly, Derpy found herself escorted inside the castle and into a private chamber, presented with an audience with all three princesses at once. A different bat mare, around her age and scarred, offered to take her messenger’s coat before she handed Derpy a towel to dry herself off with.

It took a while, but at last Derpy could place the mare. "Oh! You're the mare who was protecting Princess Luna's room!"

Realizing she had blurted the words out loud, Derpy blushed and was just about to apologize when Princess Celestia interrupted. "You remember ponies very well, Derpy. I'm impressed. That mare is Princess Luna's spymaster, Silken Flight. The man taking notes at the desk to your left is Shining Armor, the captain of my guard, if you remember him. You can give him the mail... unless you have important letters for anyone personally?"

Derpy felt embarrassed, attempting to switch gears between thanking Silken for the towel and being addressed by Princess Celestia personally. In the meantime, she took a moment to gather her thoughts and emptied the majority of the paperwork onto Shining’s desk. “This much in the last few days? There are letters about summer harvest in this stack, I know it! Is he even sleeping these days?” It was his muttered words that really made her smile and helped her make her more comfortable in the presence of so many important ponies.

Deciding that being candid before the princesses had worked once, it couldn’t hurt to try it again. "I do, princess. One for each of you. Dusk looked really happy to have them all finished."

Stepping up to the gathered goddesses, Derpy placed the thickest letter on the table before Princess Celestia, and the thinnest before Princess Luna. The last, she clutched tightly before carefully placing it before Princess Cadence. "Dusk... Dusk said you would know who this was for, Princ-"

Shock silenced Derpy as she stared into those eyes, her mind flipping back to the worst day in her life, so many years ago. Still clutching the letter, she fought against tears and forced away memories, carefully setting the last letter down. "Princess Cadence... I-... forgive me... I know you were just a foal at the time, but.. the filly that was with you... is she... Did- did she make something of her life?"

Shocked, Cadence did a double take, staring back at Derpy before a look of horror dawned on her. "Do... do you mean the red-headed filly I saved from that house that burnt down?"

Derpy saw the growing look of horror, but the memories were demanding. They needed an answer now. For Pan, she had to ask. "Yes, she had the little blond highlights... she- she was Pan's last patient... I remember you brought her in, and I figured you must know her, right?"

Derpy had never seen a mare so torn up, and suddenly wished she had never asked. But Pan's words, the memories of their last two weeks together... they hurt, and that demanded an answer. Cadence looked to Princess Celestia for help, so Derpy turned to look to her as well. Celestia was silent for only a moment, her answer was tired and distant, but it soothed Derpy's bad memories. "That mare? She joined my school for a number of years, Derpy. But recently, she's decided to continue her studies far away from Equestria. It... it's been too long since we've heard from her, but we didn't leave off as friends... maybe someday I will try to speak with her again. For now, know that she is still alive and last I heard, she continues her studies to this day."

Derpy bowed low to the Princess and smiled again at last. "So she became a student? That's good. Thank you, your majesty. It's... it's nice to know that Pan got his last wish."

Dismissed by the trio, Derpy had taken her dried jacket and stepped back into town, thanking the guards who offered her an escort, going alone instead. The downpour had become a small drizzle, and Derpy knew where her feet were going, long before she arrived.

Canterlot was a big city. A city ever growing and changing. The ruins of the hospital were not there when she left the lower market, but she'd known that in the back of her mind, she'd flown over this section of Canterlot on deliveries to not have noticed. "What had it been in the end? A fire I think... three or four years after Pan-... after it all ended." His aunt had offered her a job, but the hallways felt empty without him. She simply couldn't go back. And his aunt had died in the fire a few years later, she was sure she remembered that much. Amethyst must have mentioned it at some point. Sitting down on the edge of the marble fountain that had once been a decorative part on the park on the hospital grounds, Derpy stared off into the distance.

“How much longer, Rain? I… I don’t think I can wait!” It had been two weeks since Pan hurt himself by using his magic to reattach the filly’s wing. Now the mares sat together in the laboratory, watching the mares at work.

Derpy sat in the empty chair, watching the two mares behind the laboratory counter, fidgeting and kicking her feet to try and kill time as they waited. Laughing at her, Rain reached over and gave Derpy’s hand a squeeze. “Look, hun. Just remember that you’re only getting your results back today since it’s so quiet around here today. And my shift was over an hour ago, so just… try and relax or... something?”

Blushing and looking down, Derpy squeezed Rain’s hand in return. “I know, I’m sorry. But you're like, my only good friend here that I can trust with stuff like this. I mean… It’s been a week since Pan started working again. I want to have good news for him!”

Rain laughed again, shaking her head. “You’re sweet, Derpy. Don’t worry, Pan loves you. No reason to be sad if this comes back negative.”

Bored and frustrated with waiting, Derpy stood up and gave Rain a little nod. “I’m… I’m gonna go for a little walk. If you don’t mind waiting?” Rain gave her a nod, and Derpy stepped out of the lab, wandering the hospital and humming quietly to herself.

The hospital doors were thrown open with a crash, snapping off their hinges and crashing to the floor. Derpy stood in shocked silence, watching as a young filly stormed through the open doors, another filly's limp body carried in her arms with the support of a powerful magic aura.

Her few weeks of helping the nursing staff wasn't enough to keep Derpy from feeling overwhelmed by the sight of the filly being brought in, and her knees quaked as she turned towards the reception desk; her voice felt like a squeak, her throat swollen, and her mouth too dry to speak. But she must have, as suddenly a storm of bodies rushed towards the door, a gurney, and Derpy found herself helping them lower the bloody mess to the bed.

But it was the other filly that made everypony freeze, and pay attention when she sobbed out, pushing the nurse who had said something wrong aside and clutching the hand of the mutilated filly. "She's not dead! Can't you feel it!? I can! But she's hurt too bad! I- I can't heal somepony hurt this bad. Why won't somepony get Princess Celestia, or Summer Orchards! They can do it!"

Derpy's heart froze when Pan pushed his way past the gathered staff. He was pale still, whatever he claimed and yet she knew what he was doing, and she could see it in his eyes. Taking the filly's hand, he drew a slow breath as if measuring something unseen, before smiling and looking at the little foal. "You’re very strong to sense her, little princess. I'm afraid I'm the best doctor here, and even I struggle to find her. Do you think... if I show you how to heal her, do you think you can manage it yourself?"

Derpy only realized the mare wasn't a unicorn when Pan added that little extra title, the girl’s wings were folded tight against her back, and hadn't been visible until he looked over the girl’s shoulder and thick hair. But the girl was already answering Pan, and despite the worried look in her eyes, she had pulled herself back together so quickly, Derpy felt jealous. "I can sir. I can heal. I'll heal anything! Just show me where, and how. Please! It's... it's my fault. I taught her the spell. Now she's-"

Pan put a finger to the filly's lips to silence her and guided their linked hands to the crushed girl’s skull, his voice a soft whisper Derpy could no longer understand. Together, their magic spiraled out in twin glowing lines, wrapping around the broken filly and pouring into her body.

And they continued for what felt like forever. Pan whispered and the filly agreed, her fingers following his from the skull to a dozen points on her chest. The sudden gasp of breath from the filly shocked the whole room, but while some clapped, Derpy saw Pan's knees wobble.

She pushed her way around the gurney and wrapped her arms around his neck, wishing she could pour her strength back into him. She'd take back the bad headaches and the constant vertigo if it gave him strength. Under her, she felt him give a little sigh, before his weight leaned back into her arms. His magic faded from the glow, but his voice continued, nearly whispering directions for the filly to follow.

Nurses started to dress the girl’s lesser wounds, and wash the blood from her brilliant crimson hair, the striking blond highlights a vivid contrast. Derpy felt Pan's shallow breathing and had to choke back tears, struggling to support him, and grabbed one of the watching nurses by her uniform. "Help him!"

She'd barely been able to choke out the words. And then-

- "No time for more memories." Derpy pushed away the thoughts and looked at all the homes that had replaced the hospital. It must have been hours that she had sat there, lost in that horrific memory. She wondered, just for a moment, if she might be able to find Rain... to see if the mare was still around. But the sound of a distant watch-stallion calling out the hour as 2 am reminded Derpy. "Home. Home and Dinky. That’s where I belong. Not knocking on doors and bothering strangers." Taking flight, Derpy turned for home.

Author's Notes:

Sorry for the long delay guys! Got a little hung up on Witcher 3 and Derpy's background. More to come soon!