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Study Buddies

by Samsara

Chapter 2: An Open Book

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An Open Book

Fluttershy awakes from her slumber, having fallen asleep at some indeterminable point in last night's stream of consciousness.  Realizing that, in her sleep, she had rolled over and now looks Twilight face-to-face, almost close enough to touch muzzles with her, the yellow pegasus blushes an extremely deep shade of scarlet, only being exacerbated by her outstretched wings reaching off the edge of the bed.  Twilight hasn't woken up yet, and seems to be stuck in a dream.  Fluttershy notices her eyes moving tumultuously under her eyelids, and tries to think of a way to readjust her position without waking up the lavender unicorn.  A few minutes pass, each one containing a silly, awkward twisting of joints beneath the light sheets to try and turn away; each one is met with a nonsensical mumble from the unconscious Twilight Sparkle, or some other tell that she may be stirring awake.  Fluttershy simply gives up, fighting back her embarrassment and relishing the moment, figuring that, since she's still sleeping, she won't be able to judge her too harshly.  

Twilight mumbles a little more nonsense, lazily pushing her leg forward and accidentally moving a bit closer to Fluttershy.  Her hoof nestles itself just beneath her wing.  The pegasus shivers a little from the sensation of being hugged, just laying there and accepting the motion, tilting her nose down to avoid 'accidentally' kissing Twilight (not to mention avoiding her morning breath, though she'd never admit it.).  Fluttershy pulls her wings back and pins them to her sides, wrapping the feathered appendage around Twilight's hoof, making her blush and smile contentedly.  She always loved cuddling something; she found a very special kind of loving comfort, even if it was just platonic.  Thoughts race through Fluttershy's active mind which, although running on what feels to her body like a half hour of sleep at the most, still flies full-throttle through frantic images.  The pegasus loves the feel of the soft breathing across the bridge of her nose and forehead, as well as the hoof under her wing, gently caressing her side.  She keeps her eyes open to watch Twilight sleep, remarking at how peaceful she looks, even taking a somewhat motherly gaze at the mare.  There is no discomfort here, maybe it's because Twilight isn't aware of Fluttershy's actions, or maybe she just came to terms with the fact that she was with her best friend ever, but the yellow pony finally relaxes for the first time in half a day.

Her mind begins to wander, thinking about whether or not she wants to tell Twilight about her feelings, whether or not she should tell twilight her feelings out of fear that she may ask her to leave.  Fluttershy knew that Twilight wasn't that cruel, but she also didn't know about her upbringing or attitude toward filly-foolers.  This term never seemed to sit well with Fluttershy, she only ever heard it as a mocking jeer directed at Rainbow Dash and Gilda in flight school, but she didn't really know how else to describe the feelings.  Her thoughts were met with a confusion, What if I don't really feel this way? she asks herself, not knowing how to honestly respond.  Do I just want Twilight because she's available?  Or are these feelings real?...  Her mind betrays her, and since the only pony she would ever tell a lie to was herself, it eats her up inside.  

Twilight's still sleeping... she thinks to herself.  Maybe I could sneak a kiss... just to see how it feels,  She's even timid in her head.  She mulls over the thought a little, tilting her head back up so that she's nearly nose-to-nose with twilight, looking into her closed eyes.  They've stopped moving now, apparently she's dropped into a deeper sleep, perfect timing.  Fluttershy blushes and feels the sensation of butterflies in her stomach, feeling like this was almost violating the lavender mare somehow, but still fighting the desire.  It should be quick, maybe just a peck on the lips, if that...  She thinks, justifying her actions in her head as innocent and cute.  She takes a few deep breaths and conjures up the courage to inch closer, now so close she can feel the heat radiating off of Twilight's muzzle.  

Fluttershy closes her eyes, imagining what could happen if Twilight ever found out; dark little thoughts those are.  She fears that Twilight might feel violated, might run, might kick her out and never be friends with her again.  Her fears are quickly dispelled however by a glimmer of hope.  What if Twilight likes it?  Fluttershy asks, having a true conversation in her mind with herself about how to go about this.  The shy pegasus was so used to being alone that she'd developed a dialogue between herself and... well... herself... to keep company, knowing full well that it's pathetic, but still taking solace in the fact that she was at least willing to listen to her.  IF she likes it, then maybe you could be more than friends,  Fluttershy exclaims, part of her wants to pursue this as far as it could go.  But if she doesn't like it then we won't even be that... A majority of her thought process shoots down the small inkling of courage that she really has.  Every action for the pony is a battle, fighting between courageous acts and prudent advice from what can only be the residue of her mother in the front of her mind.  Just go for it, I'm sure Twilight wouldn't hold it against you, besides I know what you're going to do if something goes wrong.  We've been through a lot together, you know.  I know you inside and out,  Sometimes her 'conversations' seem to split into two entirely different entities; this is one of those times.  Well...  What if she wakes up?  Her timidity stems from a deep set fear of the unknown, having grown up very sheltered; her mother had a degenerative disease that caused many of her feathers to weaken and render her unable to fly.  She was a stay-at-home and always took care of dear old Fluttershy, never letting her do anything without a meticulous examination.  Just close your eyes and pretend that you're asleep. You were going to do that anyway, I can read your thoughts you know....  Fluttershy's face twists into a concerned confusion about herself as she realizes what she's doing, shaking her head a bit before giving one last response.  You do realize how stupid it is to be talking to you right? You're me,  She says, trying to quell this bizarre dialogue.  Well you're the one doing it, I don't have any control over you... Except with things like that dragon or the cockatrice where you're so freaked out that even your consciousness curls up in a corner and hides and puts our friends in danger.  Fluttershy's face only represented the pondering of the 'real' Fluttershy, never contorting in thought for the courageous voice in her mind.  So why don't you just take over and make me kiss Twilight then? She genuinely asks herself, still feeling stupid for talking in her mind like this.  I think we both know the answer to that question... You want to do that, and you're not too timid to do it on your own, you don't need me for this one co-pilot. She gave herself a nickname... Am I insane?  She thinks, not getting a response from the courageous end of her consciousness.  

Well... here goes nothing I guess,  She finally tells herself, realizing that her mind has begun to slow itself down.  No longer buzzing with activity and paying close attention to the world around her.  She takes in the golden rays of morning sunlight as they wash over Twilight's snoozing body, watches the leaves outside dance in the gentile breeze and cast their shadows over the two, making them seem almost under water.  That's how Fluttershy honestly felt, like she was suspended in a comfortable, quieting pool; whim to the currents as they shifted her very life.  She smiles a little bit and leans forward, starting by pressing her nose very softly against Twilight's; she stirs, but doesn't seem to fall out of sleep.  Finally, with one last mini pep talk in her head, she cranes her neck and meets lips with the violet unicorn, shutting her eyes as the warmth seemingly transfers between their very hearts.  Fluttershy feels herself getting extremely hot in the cheeks as they darken.  She opens her eyes and looks at her own nose just a little, realizing that her countenance resembles that of a fired brick, but then to her chagrin she sees Twilight's cheeks redden a bit as well.  Her stomach sinks as soon as the unicorn opens her eyes; she does so slowly and groggily, but it's all the same to Fluttershy.  She pulls away from Twilight and can only stare on in shock, thinking to herself Oh no... what have I done?

"Mmngh... Fluttershy? W-what was that?"  Twilight asks, it's too late for the yellow pegasus to shut her eyes and pretend to be asleep, they'd already locked gazes.  

"Uh... uh-uhm,"  The poor thing is at a complete loss for words, realizing that her worst fears (as rehearsed in her head of course) could be coming true at this very moment.  She can feel a familiar pressure build up behind her eyes as she involuntarily readies herself to start bawling.

Twilight looks down at herself and realizes that she'd cuddled up to Fluttershy in her sleep,  "Oh no, Fluttershy I hope I didn't do anything to make you uncomfortable!  I uh, I'm so used to sleeping with plushies and things that I guess I instinctively... Oh I'm sorry,"

"N-n-no that's... that's fine, Twilight... I uhm... I..."  She can't really think of what to say, she kissed Twilight in her sleep and then Twilight apologized to her.  "I uhhh..."  Fluttershy shivers a little bit, not pulling away from Twilight but trying to break the awkward silence to avoid making the unicorn too uncomfortable.Hey co-pilot... How'd it go?  Courageous Fluttershy asks, stepping back into the conversation from... wherever it is that she went while absent,  Ohhhh I see, Twilight thinks it's her fault huh?  Well why don't you tell her what you did?  Courageous Fluttershy seems like a spy sometimes, just doing things to mess with Fluttershy's head... even though she's part of it.  

"Fluttershy, I'll... I'll just go downstairs then... please don't hold it against me... I didn't mean anything by it..."  Twilight exclaims, ending the uncomfortable silence with a heartbreaking statement.  She starts to turn and try to get out of the bed, making Fluttershy feel like she's done something horribly wrong, and then let her friend take the fall.

"Twilight, wait..."  She says, just loud enough for the unicorn to hear her over the sound of rustling sheets,  "I uhm... I want you to stay here for a little while i-if that's o-okay..."  Twilight blinks a few times and then rests back down, looking Fluttershy in the eyes, clearly embarrassed of herself and shrinking back a little.  "Twilight, I... I know exactly what happened..."  Twilight's attention shifts up to meet the gaze of the soft spoken pony.  Fluttershy feels herself turning dark crimson again and tilts her head down, not wanting to look Twilight in the eyes as she admits her intentions, never wanting a friend to beat their self up over something that she did.  "I... I saw you sleeping and... well... I kissed you... I think that's what woke you up,"  She almost flinches a little bit, expecting only the worst response of horror to come from Twilight's face. 'Attagirl.  Now we can watch the fireworks.  "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that... I know it's wrong but... I..."  C'mon co-pilot, just two more little words, "... like you,"  

Twilight's eyes widen and she turns so red that it's visible through her purple coat.  She looks around a little bit, almost like she's worried somebody heard them talking.  "You... l-like me?"  She asks, prompting an ashamed nod from Fluttershy in response.  "You... You like like me?"  She says, sounding a bit in disbelief but not without a kind of curious energy about her voice.  

"Yes, I like like you, Twilight...  You... well, you believe in me when nobody else does...  You're the only one who thinks I'm... useful..." with this last word she looks away, focusing her attention on a star embroidered in Twilight's blanket, remembering all the colorful uses of the word "useless" that were pointed at her in the past.  

Twilight's voice shifts from surprise (with a hidden undertone of glee) to a concerned observation of her friend's plight.  "Fluttershy, of course you're useful, if it weren't for you our town would be devoid of happy animal life... you add a wonderful joy just to ponyville, and enrich the lives of anyone that meets you,"  The unicorn doesn't hold anything back; seeing how deep the thought must have run into Fluttershy's past cued her to pull out all the stops for reassurance.  

Fluttershy doesn't say anything, only looking back up into her friend's comforting eyes.  The pegasus is so used to other people taking help from Fluttershy but rarely ever offering it; just the simple gesture of offering comfort as opposed to insult means an unknowable amount to her.  She then, seemingly against her own will, leans in and hugs Twilight, resting her head on the unicorn's shoulder.

"Fluttershy, I'm sorry I reacted like that... I honestly don't know how to react to something this... surprising.  I've never been like liked before,"  Twilight says, stroking the soft pink hair of the pegasus hugging her.  Almost as if Twilight had thrown a switch, Fluttershy's wings slowly flap open.  Twilight giggles and tells her to relax, pulling away to find (thank goodness) that she hadn't been crying.

"To be honest... from uhm... personal experience... you're not missing much.  At least not with the stallions that... like liked me,"  Fluttershy says, knowing it was influenced partly by courageous Fluttershy, and silently thanking her for it.

"Well... you're not a stallion, now are you?"  Twilight says with a blush and a short chuckle, looking for ways to poke fun at the pegasus.  Deep down Twilight was happy that Fluttershy had a crush on her, not really knowing why and (though possibly due to negligence) not quite feeling the same, she figured that if anypony was worth being open minded with, that pony was Fluttershy.  

The yellow mare laughs at the joke but still tries to get her buzzing mind under wraps... at least things didn't turn out for the worst like she expected.  Everything's fine co-pilot... what'd I tell ya?  Every time she manages to quiet down, courageous Fluttershy breaks the silence.  I suppose I do owe you one now... She says, quietly thanking herself while hollowly staring into Twilight's smile outside of her head.  Well, my work here is done... you and Twi have some talking to do so I'll leave you alone... if you need me I'll be back in those dreams you were having about big mac a few nights ago... thank goodness you still remember them, they're fun!  Fluttershy's countenance drops into a worried look, right eye twitching a little and entire face turning dark red.  She hadn't told anypony about that dream, but she still gets grief for it... how do you keep a secret from yourself?

"You okay Fluttershy?"  Twilight asked, giggling a little but still a touch concerned.  

"Oh... yeah, yeah I'm fine... I'm just thinking that's all,"  She says, shifting back into reality, trying to see the actual gravity of the situation.  Now what?

"Well... you and I obviously have some... talking to do, so why don't we get up and go have breakfast?"

Fluttershy smiles and nods at the unicorn, looking back into her soft eyes, now feeling more comfortable and relieved than she ever had her whole life.  "That sounds lovely, Twilight,"

Next Chapter: The Spark Estimated time remaining: 6 Hours, 17 Minutes
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