The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Dainty Little Moonbeams by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Celestia watched the mineral absorb the dust she'd collected from around the palace. The tiny tadpole-like structure grew. "Ha, ha! I can master the creation of monsters too!" She put more dust in the beaker and watched the tadpole move towards it.
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The would-be rioters had been in the forest setting up for a few days. Collecting signs, practicing their chants, and getting ready to make a general nuisance of themselves in New Vanhoover (formerly Vancouver). The smoldering remains of Mount Rainier in the distance gave some pause, but most considered that just a fluke.

"We don't need Newfoals to teach us how to live at harmony with nature," the leader shouted, "We are ponies, Celestia's true supporters." Murmurs of assent filled the grove.

The pack of bears had closed in on these noisy things, they'd raided the food supplies the ponies had laid out. The smell of food had attracted more bears. While these were black bears, not grizzlies, they still were bears. So the boldest of them wandering in to get the food that had been incautiously stored provoked a response.

"Hey you! Get away from there!" the pony shouted as it charged, waving a foreleg.

The bear ran back towards its fellows with a pack of shouting ponies in pursuit.

Bears aren't good at math, but even they realized that 10 ponies against 15 bears gave them the advantage. The bears proved marvelously skilled at subtraction, and division.
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Discord had a much harder time summoning the Titans of Chaos than he'd expected. "So, are you chaos-glutted maniacs ready to accept our new home and . . . why are you all crying?" Discord asked.

Discord facepalmed. "What do you mean it's 'too good'?" Discord's jaw dropped as they explained. "Do you know what I had to go through to get us here after Celly went nuts? If Finagle and Murphy are kicking your butts then either kick back, or sit back and learn!" Discord threw his hands in the air, they floated down on little parachutes. "You wanna WHAT?!" Discord took his ears off and shook them. "Say that again, I can't believe what I just heard."

Discord facepalmed again. "Why would you ever want to go back there?" he asked, "I took all the good parts, all that's left there is Canterlot and little Miss Harmony-uber-alles." Discord sat down as his legs collapsed beneath him. "You - people - make me want to cry. You want back, I'll send you back, but once you're there, even I can't get you out." He cast the spell and the massive power of the chaos titans suffused him, as their essence returned to Canterlot. "I thought they'd never leave." He cracked his knuckles and summoned a chaise lounge, and umbrella drink and sat back to watch the chaos. "If you can't sit back and accept someone is better and either learn or be entertained, you just go back to your safe zone."
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Dash flew over the land, and was disturbed by the vastness of the place. You could see Canterlot from Ponyville, heck with a decent telescope you could see it from Vanhoover. That moon was bigger than Equestria! she thought, And that's a moon! She saw she had a companion as Tank pulled into formation with her.

"Any trouble Big Guy?" she asked. The girliness of her squeaks made her cringe a little, but she could live with it.

The answering shriek told her all was well.

She smiled as she gave her wings a bit of a rest so her friend could keep up with her.

Arriving back at Newfoal Island, she was overjoyed to see Twilight and Fleetfoot again. "Everything going good?" she asked.

"Luna's linked up with the astronauts in the space station," both of them said together, it creeped Rainbow out a little, but she accepted that it was necessary, "Discord has been behaving himself, sort of. And the negotiations are going well."

"How come we never realized how BIG this place is?" Rainbow asked, "Oh, right, we were doing her will. No other thoughts necessary."

"I'm more worried about the increase in wildlife attacks, and a few natural disasters cropping up in clusters," Twilight and Fleetfoot said, then looked at Rainbow, "You're tied in with the spirit of the Earth, have you felt anything?"

Rainbow considered, but it was Tank who answered that it was just 'growing pains' as the spirit of Earth and the spirit of Harmony came to an understanding.

"Woah, you're starting to talk like Twilight!" Rainbow said, and chuckled at her pet's embarrassment, and Twilight's slight outrage.

"So, do we wait it out, or do something?" Rainbow asked.

"I'm plotting the occurrences, their location, frequency and area of effect versus ponies affected," Twilight said alone.

"She sure is," Fleetfoot said, without Twilight.

"Well, that proves we aren't mirrors," they said together and both laughed.

Rainbow missed being able to roll her eyes or face hoof, face-winging would knock too many ponies over. "Well, I for one am gonna take a nap, then check in with the weather team. The clouds here are a lot more resistant to pegasi than in Equestria, why didn't I say 'back home'?" She shook her head. "Any way, they can still predict weather, and I saw a couple of storms headed this way, so we might need to watch them over the next few days."

Twilight and Fleetfoot nodded.

Rainbow flew off a short distance, a short distance for her, a day's flight for most, and began settling down. Tank landed nearby and stared at her. "Yeah, sure," she said and raised a wing. Tank snuggled in beside her. Content, she was soon asleep.
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"No you idiot! Don't eat the garbage dump!" Celestia shrieked as her marvelous new creature dove head, well sort of head, first into the garbage. Not the relatively clean midden, but the food garbage and sewer runoff waste.

Celestia looked around for a moment, certain somepony, or several someponies were laughing at her, but even the strongest detection spell had found nothing. What rose out of the garbage dump was everything she'd hoped for, except it was looking at her.

"I am your queen, I am your creator, you will -"

The blob of sludge forced her to dodge instead of pontificate.

"Eeeek!" came the cry as the noisome projectile nearly missed her. Celestia fled. "It's too big now to enter the corridors." A quick glance back told her what a lie that was. She shrieked, rather shouted her outrage, and fled back towards her lab. Followed the entire time by the certainty that somepony was laughing at her.

She reached her lab and closed the hermetically sealed door. Nothing could ooze in, not if this hermit had anything to say about it. She pulled out a jar full of anaerobic bacteria. "Let's see how you deal with these!" she said and plied her magic. She ignored the impression of giggling, and the almost aroma of popcorn as she worked. Steadfastly ignoring that the walls around the door were starting to melt.
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"Skin sample, blood sample, marrow sample, semen sample," the commander complained. With only the doctor to hear, it was permitted, even expected.

"It's for the restoration of the human race," the doctor said, "They need uncontaminated samples from the only humans they have left."

"Yes, but what if they need more, say a sample for every human down there," the Commander said, "And the ponies who want to become humans?" He looked at the doctor. "I can live with this, but don't enjoy it. If it goes that far, I think we'll all run out of samples."

The doctor nodded, and made a note. "What worries me is the assertion that we can't live in the new magic environment, oh course one theory is that the current environment is higher in magic than Equestria. That's why their ordinary forces were so much stronger."

"That's a disturbing thought," the captain said, "That magic wasn't 'real' because there was so much of it. I wonder if the 'new and improved' humans will be able to use magic . . . "

"We have to warn Luna!" they said together and dashed from the infirmary.
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Pinkiecord stole a pawful of Discord's popcorn as they floated outside the space station anchored to Luna's moon. "But all the humans I met are nice," she said as they watched the frantic explanation to the increasingly aghast pony princess.

"You don't really remember encountering humans. Just Newfoals. The power of Celestia's lie about humans wasn't that it was wrong, it was that it was incomplete. Like saying Mr. Cake was always off with some mare while Pound and Pumpkin were in the oven."

"He used the mirror pond?" Pinkiecord asked, "To cheat on Mrs. Cake?!" Then Pinkiecord face-pawed. " The 'mare' was Mrs. Cake, I get it."

"So humans are every bit and dangerous as Celestia said, she just never mentioned that only within specific circumstances, only the worst individuals, and she completely left out their good side. But there's also the human aspect of doing something because it's 'fun.'"

"What's wrong with fun?" Pinkiecord asked as an entire party formed around them.

A decommissioned communications satellite took out the buffet table. "Take Rainbow Crash's attitude towards safety versus coolness, and marry it to Sparklette's cavalier attitude towards experimentation. Now imagine the reception."

Pinkiecord cringed. "Now imagine the honeymoon."

Discord cringed.

"Got it." Pinkie sat and thought. "What's happening with Celestia? Are we going to have to fight her again?"

"Only if we look in on her," Discord said, "And don't get curious. Unlike her, when I seal evil in a can, I leave the means to destroy themselves, but not the means to break out of the can."

"You did?" Pinkiecord asked.

"Okay, I had a bunch of SF authors and guys at JPL vet the process, before they got ponified," Discord said, and sighed, "That John DeLancie was such a brilliant, handsome fellow."

Pinkie decided not to tease him about his man-crush. "So we don't have to worry about her."

"You can worry about her all you like. But nothing she does can effect us," Discord said.

"What about the Titans of Chaos?" Pinkie asked, "Without the Elements, they could cause all of us a problem."

"Nope," Discord said, "They all ran back crying to their safe space, Canterlot. Although I kept their power here."

Pinkie stared at him. "That was your plan all along," she said.

"Of course. Getting rid of all my rivals was part of the plan," Discord said.

"What about us?" Pinkie asked, looking at Discord with big liquid eyes.

"I need to teach you about the uncanny valley. Yes, much better. Quit overdoing things, that was my mistake," Discord said, "First, you're my friends, not my rivals. Two, none of you want the games to end, so we agree on that. Three, the Newfoals already created a blend of Chaos and Harmony, they can create additional 'monsters' to counter anything you or I do, and the planet is stronger than any of us, but not all of us. Four, I needed the power to deal with cosmic disasters, and there have been a bunch of them in the past."

Pinkie nodded. "What about Shining Mouse?"

Discord suddenly looked around, then smiled worriedly. "Oops."
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The scuttling, crablike creatures fired their beams of micro-oxygen into the wall of sludge, until only the glowing crystal remained. Celestia stomped that underhoof herself.

"Well, that's done," she said, but turned suddenly at the flash of light.

Where there'd been 10, now there was one. A much larger one. A much larger and very unhappy one. Celestia grabbed the remains of the crystal and raced for the Royal Rose Garden. "You won't catch me that easily!" she shouted as she dodged the blast.

If I can get to the potion vault, that will take care of things! she thought as she raced through the palace corridors, zigzagging all the way, And who is laughing at me? I didn't make that thing smart enough to think, let alone laugh. I'll have to make the next servitors have less of a sense of humor!
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Godzilla was enjoying the swim through the waters outside where the negotiations were coming to a close. His tranquility came to an end as Discord appeared, on his head.

"Ah, here," Discord said and set a mouse down on Godzilla's head, "I couldn't find Candy Floss, and Sparklettes was, ah, otherwise engaged. Not what a brother should see. See to it he gets back to them will you?" And Discord was gone, leaving a very angry mouse behind.

While most of the mouse's cursing involved Discord, that worthy's parentage, mating and eating habits, and not a few speculations about the Draconequus' intelligence, the erudite turn of phrase intrigued Godzilla.

Is there any animal on Equestria who can't talk? Godzilla asked.

The mouse replied with the nearly cliched 'you can talk?!'

Godzilla sighed. No, I'm a giant hallucination, he thought, You're imagining this all. Godzilla considered the near-comatose mouse and decided to head for shore. Fluttershy might be of help. At least she'll have a guess who 'Candy Floss' is.