The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Party by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Rarity-dragon, disguised as a pony, sat beside Princess Cadence, just down the table from Prince Shining Armor and Princess Celestia herself. The horror, this is. The. Worst. Possible. Thing. I'm bored. These, the glittering jewels of Equestrian Royalty, are boring! Where is the refined thrust and riposte of conversation and wit? Even Applejack at her mulish 'down home'ness can still hold her own with the linguistic give and take, jab and parry, even the kick and gouge. But these ponies are dull!

Applejack looking entirely pony was barely picking at her meal, and she was returning the occasional glare from Princess Cadence with one of greater intensity of her own.

I can't for the life of me understand what they're fighting over. Even Prince Armor is boring, Rarity thought, And I had so hoped Prince Blueblood was an anomaly.

Even Pinkie Pie is being well behaved, she thought, It's as if everyone is afraid of saying the wrong thing. That's it! Celestial may have proven her power, but she's also proven her ruthlessness. Our transformation may be kept secret from the populace, but those whose business it is to be in the know probably have enough facts to sift through the rumors. The nobles are wondering if they're next.

"Prince Blueblood, what do you think of the events of the last few days?" Rarity asked the stallion sitting across the table and a few chairs down. By some signal Rarity for all her social climbing prowess couldn't detect, the entire hall fell silent.

Blueblood looked from Rarity, to Armor, and finally settled on Celestia. "A brilliant campaign, masterfully planned, and superbly executed. A perfect mix of diplomacy and military skill." He chuckled nervously, but the diners returned to their meals and conversations.

Rarity felt eyes upon her, for once she treasured the fact she was regarded as a parvenu. She giggled. "Of course, I knew that. I was referring to the dreadful action over the Western Sea. The expedition to wipe out the emigres on the open sea, then had to rely on them for rescue."

Blueblood was visibly sweating now. His eyes went straight to Celestia this time, and all but the hardiest stared at their plates. Pinkie helped herself to Applejack's untouched food and happily, though mannerly, gobbled it down.

Blueblood cleared his throat. "We must take stock of what has happened and be prepared for two courses: first, to throw another team across the sea immediately, to remind them that where they are squatting is pony property."

"Aren't they ponies?" Rarity asked.

Embarrassed silence answered her more eloquently than any orator. "Forgive my ignorance, please do go on. Step two?". Her stomach sank as the others forgave her faux pas and awaited Blueblood.

"The second is to improve the capabilities of our ships, to either evade the creature, or batter through. I'm certain their Highnesses and Captain Armor are hard at work, or already have a strategy. But lose lips sink ships," he said and chuckled again, with the nervousness of a colt awaiting his final grades.

Celestia gave him a passing one, barely. She also gave a sympathetic look at Rarity, as if her new condition explained her intellectual or social incapacity. Applejack looked at Rarity as if she'd just wrestled a Timberwolf with her bare hooves.

Rarity made her decision. There is no place for me here anymore, she thought, and realized that Applejack seemed to have come to the same conclusion. I wonder if she realizes she's thinking those thoughts about Equestrian, or is she just thinking of Canterlot?
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Twilight looked over the 'barricade' formed by Unicorn-Spike's protectively coiled tail at the crowds of ponies below. "I don't think they're happy to see us."

"Oh pish-tosh," Discord said, "People are never happy to see me, but their lives are always so much better for having met me."

"Really," Rainbow Dash asked.

"Oh come now, a stained-glass window in Canterlot, finding how much your friends care for you, what's not to love?" Discord said, and looked over the edge of Godzilla's palm. "Wow, what a long way down. And you're right Sparkle, they don't look happy. You could send Spike down, no he looks too much like an Alicorn now."

"Never thought there'd be a time that would be an insult," Spike said. "I think I'll trust where our chauffeur is taking us."

Godzilla set them down among a crowd of otherwise ordinary Newfoals. Then Twilight looked into their eyes and saw a fire there usually missing from Newfoals, rare among ponies, but the humans she had begun to remember fighting had it without exception.

"If our courts had standing, you would all be tried for war crimes," the leader said. The surreal calmness of the Newfoal made him infinitely more frightening. He had passed through the rage that Newfoals were denied, and would logically and dispassionately dispense justice. No species subjected to what ponies had done would have any other reaction, but death.

"Point of order," Discord said, "While I fully understand 'I was only following orders' is not considered a defense, the accused must be able to understand that their crimes are wrong, or at least unacceptable to the 'common man' at the time they were committed. Everyone here has felt the effect of Equestrian alchemy, none of you have faced the Elements of Harmony, nor Celestia's powers. As one who has suffered both, I can assure you that temporary insanity should be taken into consideration."

Twilight was stunned that Discord of all people had come to their aid.

"That is not to say that actions here in Equestria and on Earth don't deserve punishment. But I think community service will satisfy the judicial part, and the specific community service will more than fulfill any desire for revenge."

"What community service could do that?" the leader asked, "The populace is rather peeved, and even more upset they can only be peeved at such an outrage against the mind, body and soul of an entire species."

"A full and comprehensive understanding of the crime committed, not just against Humanity, but against the Harmony of the entire Earth," Discord said, "And she was the leader of the Element Bearers. Rainbow Dash was a member."

Twilight began wondering if Discord had saved them from the fire, merely to throw them to the wolves. Then she realized that Cadence and Fleetfoot were not garnering the looks she and Dash were. He told them about Fleetfoot and Cadence? Twilight wondered, How did I never know about Cadence?

The leader nodded and the ponies withdrew to canvas among themselves.

"Discord, we don't have -" Twilight started, only for Discord to shush her.

"There are things it is better not to know," Discord said.

A pony approached Discord with what looked like a portfolio. Several other ponies with portfolios or sketchbooks waited in the wings. "Come, come, she won't bite. Except me, and I kind of like it," Discord said, nauseating Twilight.

"We've got some designs for the columns for the museum, Discord, sir," the filly said as she opened her portfolio. Several others approached and displayed their work. Discord suddenly started whining and dancing like a duck in a skillet.

"Oh, Sparkley Poo, they're all so good, I just can't decide!" he Discord said.

Twilight looked at them and realized these kids all had real talent. Despite being blank flanks to a pony. The drawing, and even photos of sculptures were all Discord either as or interacting with a pillar. They went from Discord in thoughtful contemplation, to him blowing a raspberry at someone. Twilight smirked. "Why not use them all," she said, "There's only got to be a few hundred."

"Oh Sparkley Poo, that's why I love you," Discord said as he looked at every sketchbook and portfolio and tried to absorb all the designs. Then he gestured. If not for the flash of his magic, she wouldn't have seen it. A mountain was suddenly cleared of snow and ice, and a huge building appeared atop it. In the distance, it looked vaguely like a pair of octopuses on a termite mount, limbs draped seemingly at random on the flanks of the mountain. "There. One museum. Nobody can say Discord does not deliver."

A couple of the ponies gasped. Some fell at his feet and cry happy tears. Some galloped a short distance towards the build before they realized how far away it was. A couple kept cantering, some galloped off in all directions. Cadence looked into the distance and cantered along with one group. No one tried to stop her. Not so when Spike tried to follow.

"So, Discord, what's the real point of this 'community service'?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Just a moment, guards, relax." Discord looked at his wrist. "Three, two, one."

Pinkie, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy all appeared in their midst. The guards tensed, but on Discord's glance and pointing his thumb at the 100,000 ton 'elephant' in the room, they relaxed.

Fluttershy squealed with delight, became an Alicorn-stallion from her disguise as pegasus mare, and raced up the side of Godzilla. She landed on his head and let out a sigh. "Thank you for looking after my friends."

Twilight's jaw dropped as Fluttershy had a conversation with the monster.

"Yes, I know they are prisoners, but I think we can still be glad they are being treated well." Fluttershy paused to 'listen', then replied, "Well, I do." She snuggled down on top of the creature's head. "I haven't felt this safe and loved since the butterfly swarm. Maybe my community service can be as your interpreter."

Discord grumped. "It's always the famous movie star who gets the prettiest girl."

"Discord?" Fluttershy called down, "What are buy-planes? And who is Fay Rae?"

Twilight giggled as Discord facepalmed. "What I really mind is she's going to ask me to be one of the maids of honor," Discord said.

Twilight was back to being stunned.

"Them?" Rarity said as she stared up at Godzilla's head and his talking hat, "Fluttershy seems to enjoy his company, but I don't even see as how they'd be compatible."

"Rarity," Appleling said to the dragon, "Immortal, master spellcaster?"

Rarity blushed. "Oh, dear," Rarity said softly.

Rainbow shook her head to try to discard the image there. "Okay, can we get back to the community service?"

"You want your wings back?" Discord asked.

Rainbow Dash stared at him like a starving door at a steak.

"You want to really understand flying in a way that you never could before?" Discord asked.

"How is any of that a punishment?" Rainbow asked.

"Simple, you're tied in with the Earth, and I don't mean dirt. Mind, body and soul," Discord said, "You stop being a pony."

"If I can fly, that's okay. What's the real catch?" Rainbow asked.

"There is an egg involved," Discord said.

A low rumble shook the area, like a weak earthquake. It took most of them a moment to realize that Godzilla was laughing.