"Look, I just want to--"

"Sam please." Celestia begged, nuzzling my back, "Please...?"

I snarled like an animal. "As entertaining as it is to look through Able's head, dig around his fucked up memories...god damn it's like a fucked up war film, but I need some fucking time to take care of myself!" I snapped, charging through the streets of Canterlot towards my hotel. "I just need like an hour, some painkillers, take care of some things okay!?"

Celestia trailed after me as I walked, bare hooves clicking loudly against the street. "Can you like...not." I muttered, turning around to face her. "Can you just stop and let me take care of some things!?"

Celestia stared at me, stepping left and right like a frantic filly. "I just- I- okay...I'll- I'm going to come get you- him, Able I mean, I'll come get him in an hour."

"Fine, just let me take care of my fucking body!" I screamed, nearly lunging at her, "Fucking throwing me down the stairs isn't okay! Now I'm gonna go ruin a bottle of pills, buy an ass load of room service and...change out of this stupid jacket!"

No you're not, fucking love this jacket.

"Shut up!" I snapped, "It's my body, I choose the outfit!" I turned back towards the hotel, walking as fast as possible without being conspicuous. I walked down the crowded Canterlot street, brushing past a plethora of races as I went. Most were ponies, some were humans, a few other griffons dotted the street.

I ignored a few ponies trying to converse with me and hurried into the hotel. The unremarkable five story affair was nestled in the more urban part of the town, away from the more spaced out and richer areas along the cliffs and the lead up to the castle.

Hey...Sam, does it ever bother you that they basically live on a cliff?

I let out a long groan as I started up the stairs to my room, skipping the elevator once again. "What does that even mean?"

Canterlot. I mean, it's on a fucking mountain, which is fine. But they built it into the cliffs! Not the base, not into the mountain, but on the freaking cliffs!

I scratched my head as I slowed to a normal walk through the bright white stairwell, my body aching from my previous encounter with stairs, "Is that a joke? Like, I haven't been here--"

Fucker you've been in my head, Luna walked me through Canterlot in that weird dream shit she does, and I called her out on the same freaking thing! I mean, I'm not a mechanic or an engineer, but I can recognize bad structural des- wait...why can I recognize bad structural design?

I scratched my head as I reached my floor. I took a left into the hall and started off towards my room. "Uh...I'm an architect, dumb ass."

...I'm ashamed I know what that is. I'm also ashamed you're not a soldier or something, fucking Canadian bitch.

I rubbed my face as Able continued to berate me, "Look...can you not? Please? I really just wanna stop feeling this terrible." I found my room and started patting down my pockets. "Alright...come on--"

I put it in the left coat pocket, it kept falling out of the pants one.

I started searching the pockets of my coat, finding the small silver key and jamming it inside. "Alright...." I threw the door open, revealing my calm, serene and clean hotel room. "Thank, god." I hurried over to the stack of bags and started looking for my pain meds. "Come on...come on- there they are!"

I popped two pills and downed a bottle of water. "Jesus...thank god." I sat down on my bags and wiped off my face, "Able, why did you let her throw me down the stairs?"

She threw, me, down the stairs, not you.

"It's my body!" I screamed, quickly soliciting a loud knock from the hotel door.

"Sir, do you need help in there?!"

I jumped upright, "I'm fine! Go away!" I ran over and kicked the door, "Fuck off!"

Well that's not nice.

"Shut--"

I stopped before I could continue to yell. I pulled the door open and looked around. A small pony in a maid's outfit was standing across the hall. "Uh, hi there. Sorry about that."

The pony walked up to me and looked me over, her auburn mane rather appealing when contrasted with her beige coat. "It's not okay for you to be yelling like that, you're going to disturb--"

"I know, I'm gonna be checking out right now."

What!?

The maid looked into my room, "But...you've barely used it."

I smiled wryly. "Been checking up on me?"

The maid took a step back, lifting a hoof and making her frilly dress jostle slightly, "What are you implying?"

I took a step out of the room, "I think you know exactly what I'm implying. But...I'm taken."

The mare looked me up and down, slowly, calculatingly. "I bet I could change your mind...."

I snickered softly, "I'm sorry to say that's gonna be about impossible, Princess of the Sun is an excellent lay."

The maid went beet red and started backing up. "I uh- uh...uuuuuh...." She walked down the hall, leaving me to start packing.

I started packing the bags in the room, making a mental checklist of the things Sam had brought.

You know you're not going to do it, right?

I finished packing and started loading up the bags, "I have no idea what you mean."

You're not fucking Celestia with my body!

I hoisted my new bags up, turning to the door of the rather hoity hotel room and stepping out. "No, I'm gonna go on a train ride, I'm going to spend some time with her, I'm going to deposit something inside of her and then I'm gonna show you my little Silver Spoon."

No, no no no! Dude, no! I'm not about to fucking impregnate a horse!

I locked up the room and started off towards the stairs, "Impregnate? What the fuck are you talking about?"

You fucking idiot, if you screw that horse you're gonna--

"Man you're fucking crazy. I mean, I might be dumb, but I know biology!" I started down towards the lobby, "Ponies and humans having babies, that's crazy shi--"

Satyrs, you, dumb, fuck! If you cum inside that god damn horse I will actually kill you!

"Bitch don't get my hopes up!" Next Chapter: The Option Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 5 Minutes