"What. Is. This?!"

Twilight stared in shock at the...thing in front of her. It didn't take a genius to figure out what the exit was reminiscent of. A quick flick of her hoof confirmed that, yes, it did cover her anatomy quite well.

"Um, the note says that it's a 'Bad Dragon Artificial Twi-hole.' Any idea what that's supposed to mean?"

"I don't want to think about it. Why would Celestia send me something like this?"

"Because it's a strange, magical artifact that we need to assess to be sure it isn't dangerous?"

"I've already scanned this thing for any magical curses and have yet to find anything. I think it's just a...toy." Twilight shuddered.

"You know, now that I think about it 'Twi-hole' almost sounds like it's-"

"No."

"But it's even the same color as-"

"No."

"B-but it even looks like-"

"Looks like what, Spike?"

"It almost looks like your..."

"My what?" Twilight asked, scowling. She wasn't born yesterday, and she knew exactly what it was. Still, she wasn't about to give the makers the satisfaction of acknowledging that fact.

"Um, your....l-lips?"

"Gah!"

"Um, sorry?"

"First of all, it's called my 'labia' and second of all, how do you even know what my genitals look like in the first place?!"

"Twilight, you're naked."

She looked down in surprise before noticing the fact that she was very much in the nude. With a sigh, she turned back to the task at hand. Hoof. Fuck you.

"Well I do suppose that there are some other uses for this thing," she said before smirking and slipping the toy over her horn. "It does make a good looking hat, don't you think?"

Spike started choking on his own spit, trying hard not to laugh. Twilight tried not to smile, but ultimately failed and ended up joining her assistant on the floor, the two of them rolling around in a fit of giggles.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I still hate you and I'm very glad you're dead. I'm totally not completing my backlog out of nostalgia or anything like that. Also thanks for the new headwear!

Sincerely,

Twilight Sparkle.

There was a bright flash of light as the letter landed on top of Celestia's newly embalmed body. It sat there, waiting for its owner to open it. Of course, that wasn't likely to happen anytime soon. Right?