Chapter XIV- Fashion!

The next morning Bastian awoke to a splitting headache, an unforgivably bright sun and the unusual sensation of something scrapping lightly against the back of his gloved hand. He opened a single bleary eye and saw a butter knife applying a ridiculous amount of butter to the back of his hand. He groaned and sat up, jerking his hand away in annoyance. The knife lazily floated away and began to butter an overturned tea cup. Bastian glanced down at the table and saw the remnants of a spent soul gem lying nearby.

“Not again.” The mage muttered pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes.

He rose shakily from the chair he had fallen asleep (passed out) in, pushed his hair back out of his face and surveyed the scene before him. Though nothing had been irreparably damaged last night, Ponyville’s town square looked like a party bomb had gone off, which given Pinkie Pie’s penchant for going all out, was a very real possibility.

The mage shook the butter off of his hand and made his way through the sea of sleeping Nords and Ponies, vaguely aware of where his friends had succumbed to either sleep or alcohol the night before. He didn’t see Lielle anywhere but he did see the Khajiit brothers J’Dado and J’Zargo sleeping in front of a bush with a pink card board box in between the two of them, their sister Ubaarji curled up inside of it, their mouths covered in what Bastian hoped was just the “regular” sugar the ponies seemed to like so much. Heciri had fallen asleep in a more dignified position underneath a nearby oak tree while Shahk and Berry Punch had passed out with their backs against an empty keg. Between snores Bastian could hear the Orc mumbling in his sleep.

“-raise our f-flagon… to ‘nother… ‘nother dead dragon… mmm-mead.”

Bastian scoffed under his breath and grabbed a tankard from the top of the barrel, pouring its contents into the grass as he made his way over to Ponyville’s fountain. He pushed an unconscious Nord out of the way with his foot and dipped the tankard into the fountain’s sparkling clear waters, his eyes wincing from the glare the sun cast on it. He drank some of the water down to level it out and pulled a drawstring pouch from within his robe. He opened the pouch and carefully sniffed its contents.

Nope. Sleeping powder.

The young man stumbled forward, nearly tripping over his own feet and braced himself against the side of the fountain. He vigorously shook his head to remain awake and groaned in frustration as his headache painfully reminded him of its existence. He placed the pouch back into his robes and two bags of alchemical creations later found the one containing the fine white powder he was looking for. He added two generous pinches of the stuff to the tankard and quickly drank it down. In just a few seconds his hangover vanished and Bastian sighed in sweet relief.

Bastian’s mother had introduced him to alchemy at an early age and one of the first things she had taught him to make was a simple cure for hangovers. Since his mother grew most of her reagents in her garden it cost almost nothing to make and it always sold out to the merchants who traveled through Falkreath Hold on the trade routes to the larger cities. He and his mother would spend their evenings by the fire carefully cutting and folding parchment into small envelopes which would then be filled with the powder and sold for just two septims a piece. Bartleby had always told her she should charge more and expand her business but she always refused. The extra fifty septims a week was enough for the simple woman.

As Bastian blinked the last of his hangover away, a nearby pile of empty cups and tankards began to rumble. Cups and bottles clattered down the side of the small mountain as a green hoof shot into the air. The pile of refuse was displaced even further as Wally Melon pulled himself out from underneath it, moaning and groaning like some kind of wretched flower.

“N-no more!” Wally moaned. “No more!”

The pony fell forward and slid down the pile of garbage, coming to a full stop at Bastian’s feet. Wally’s eyes were bloodshot and his face was an unnatural shade of green.

“Wally?” Bastian rasped. “What happened to you?”

“I don- I don’t know!” Wally sobbed.

-What had happened was…-

Shahk drained his tankard and slammed it on the table with a mighty belch.

“Oh oh! I got another one, I got another one!” Pinkie said bouncing in her seat excitedly. “Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work!”

Shahk pounded a fist on the table in laughter.

“That’s very good! I like it!” He chuckled. “I got one for ya, why do Bretons have so many civil wars? So they can win one every once in a while!”

Pinkie snorted and fell out of her chair in laughter but as Shahk refilled his tankard she popped her head back up with a confused look on her face.

“Wait, I don’t get it.”

“Historical context Shahk.” Faendal said feeding his bird a grape.

“You guys should try the fizzy cola stuff with the flin. Ish not bad.” Shahk hicced.

“Shahk? Cutting his drink with something?” J’Dado snickered. “Now I have seen everything!”

“Oh I’ll drink your fuzzy ass under the table any day of the week cat!” Shahk yelled.

“I’ll take that bet!” Applejack said slamming her own mug onto the table with a wild look in her eye. “Yer on!”

“Eeyup!” Big Mac said his own tankard clenched in his mouth.

“BRING IIIIIIIIT!” Wally yelled slamming two mugs onto the table with a crash.

-Now…-

“I-I think I’m… I think I’m gonna be sick.” Wally groaned.

“What’s wrong Wally?” Pinkie asked bouncing by. “You said you could hang!”

The pink party now pick up pony was accompanied by Fluttershy. Both mares had a burlap sack hanging off of their side and were picking up trash and recyclables as Pinkie Pie hummed tunelessly to herself. Naturally, Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be found. Either Pinkie Pie had very few drinks the night before or she was immune to the effects of alcohol. It was anybody’s guess really. She bounced away cheerfully, almost obnoxiously so, her movements making Wally feel even sicker. He made an unpleasant gurgling noise and threw himself over the side of the fountain.

“No!” Bastian yelled grabbing the back of Wally’s vest. “No no no!”

“No I think- I think I’m good!” Wally stammered. “I think I’m beating it back with sheer force of willpo-

Bastian’s eyes widened in horror as Wally emptied the contents of his stomach onto the bottom of Bastian’s robes with a sickening splatter. Wally fell to the ground and began to shudder and sob pathetically. Fluttershy shook her head at him and frowned.

“Well, I hope you learned a lesson Mr. Melon.” She said. “A pony your age should know better. If you are going to drink adult beverages then you should at least exercise more self-control.”

“N-not the momma.” Wally muttered.

Bastian was quickly learning that cold puke was much, much worse than hot puke. He jammed his tankard back into the fountain, added more of his hangover cure and extended it down to Wally.

“Drink this.” He said shortly.

“N-NO!” Wally cried. “No more! Miss Fluttershy help m-

With a scowl Bastian grabbed the pony’s mouth and held it open. Fluttershy flinched away as Wally screamed, gurgled and thrashed as Bastian poured the drink down his throat with a mad look in his eye. A few seconds later Wally gasped in shock as his hangover vanished.

“T-the rage monkeys are gone! I can drink heavily without fear of and negative consequences for my actions!”

“You’re welcome.” Bastian said blankly feeling the urge to immolate the pony recede ever so slightly. “Just keep it to yourself. I only have about half a pouch of this stuff left.”

Wally nodded and touched a hoof to his nose. Fluttershy shook her head with a sigh and followed Pinkie to collect more trash.

“Hey, have you seen my sister anywhere?” Wally asked.

“No, I haven’t.” Bastian sighed. “I’ve only just woken up myself.”

“Kay.” Wally nodded.

“CAAAAANDY!” Wally yelled at the top of his lungs. “OH BABY SIS-TER~!”

The Nords and Ponies around him clenched their ears and writhed in pain as Wally’s voice boomed out throughout the town square. Several Nords rose shakily to their feet with their hands on their weapons, ready to silence the pony forever. Bastian held up a hand and shook his head.

“We’re right here Wally!” Candy called from behind them. “No need to shout!”

Candy approached them accompanied by her cousins and Lielle. The filly’s mane had been washed and brushed to a shine and a shiny new yellow ribbon had been woven into her mane. Lielle also looked like she had recently bathed and her old college robes had been replaced with a new long sleeved green dress and a dark brown bodice. Her red hair was pulled behind her head and woven into an elaborate knotted pattern that was very popular among the women in High Rock.

“Do you like it?” Lielle smiled at Bastian. “Rarity made it for me last night but she doesn’t seem very fond of it now. I think it’s grand! She said she’s going to make new clothes for all of us and that she wants to see you before you leave with Twilight for Canterlot.”

“Canter- oh. Right.” Bastian said almost forgetting what was supposed to happen that day. “Have any of you seen Miss Sparkle?”

“I reckon she went home last night.” Applejack said. The mare was clearly hungover from the night before but she seemed to be taking it in stride. Her green eyes had dark marks underneath them from lack of sleep and her color was a bit off. “Ya’ll kin- (yawn) Ya’ll kin probably find ‘er at the Golden Oaks Library. Built inside of a tree, cain’t miss it. We’re gonna head on home now. Ya’ll lemme know how things go with the Princesses. Come on Wally, we kin put you ‘n Candy up till ya’ll get yer affairs in order.”

“Are you sure?” Candy asked. “We don’t want to be any trouble.”

“Nonsense.” AJ said giving her cousin a sleepy smile as she ruffled her mane. “Ya’ll ‘er family and we got plenty a’ room at Sweet Apple Acres. Ain’t that right Big Mac?”

“Eeyup.” Her brother swayed a little on the spot before righting himself up and nodding furiously.

“You kin stay in my room!” Applebloom said grabbing her cousin excitedly. “I cain’t wait to show you our clubhouse! This is gonna be the best summer ever!”

“Yeah!” Wally cheered but stopped abrubtly. “But uh, actually AJ, I’ll catch you guys later. I wanna see Bastian and Lielle off to Canterlot.”

“You don’t have to do that!” Bastian said quickly. “Er, really it’s fine.”

“No, no!” Wally said jamming a hoof into Bastian’s mouth. The mage struggled furiously to remember whether or not that that was the hoof the pony had used to hold in his puke a few moments ago. “I insist. I was the one who found you guys so I feel responsible for you! I’ll just see that you make it into Canterlot okay and then I’ll meet up with AJ and my sister later.”

“Wow, that’s really responsible of you Wally.” Candy said, proud that her big brother was finally starting to act his age.

“Yeah, and then there’s this HUGE comic shop in Canterlot that I’ve always wanted to go to! They’re supposed to have every comic ever printed and only those who are deemed worthy may enter!”

Candy’s head fell down and she groaned in frustration.

“Well, uh we’ll see ya later uh guess.” AJ said. “You remember how ta git ta the farm right?”

“I’ll manage.” Wally said. “See ya later!

They left and Bastian turned to Lielle.

“Let’s just find Twilight.” He said. “We don’t have time for any more distractions.”

“Um, Bas? You realize that you’re covered in sick right?” Lielle asked.

Bastian glanced down at his robes.

“Oh yeah, uh, sorry about that buddy.” Wally said sheepishly.

Bastian sighed.

“Where’s Rarity?”

-The Pony Scrolls-

Bastian shifted uncomfortably on the modeling platform of The Carousel Boutique, the top of his head lightly brushing against the light fixture above. Apparently the Boutique was a shop owned by Rarity who was a “fashionista” by trade, which was apparently Equestrian for a seamstress. The alabaster pony was wearing her red designing glasses and examining several different bolts of silken cloth, each a different shade of blue. Lielle was sitting on a chaise longue while Sweetie Belle and Wally used a pair of scissors to but lengths of ribbon to “help”.

“Really Lielle dear, you have to let me make you another dress.” Rarity said holding up a bolt of cloth next to Bastian. “I mean chartreuse? What on earth was I thinking? The things I make while tipsy! That is the last time I sew while under the influence let me tell you.”

“Chartreuse?” Wally scoffed. “Rarity you were DRUNK!”

Rarity scowled at him and he grinned nervously. She smacked his flank with a ruler and sent him scuttling off and “whooping”.

“Ladies do not get “drunk” Wallace.” Rarity said sternly. “At the most we get tipsy. And you are hardly in any position to be giving critiques on fashion in that vest of yours.”

“But this was my pee-paws!” Wally exclaimed. “It saw him through… the war.”

“I think that it’s beautiful Rarity.” Lielle said smoothing out her dress. “Honestly, you don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“Well that’s very kind of you to say dear and I am glad you like it but I have a reputation to uphold! Emerald would look so much better. You should consider yourself lucky darling. Red hair can be a blessing or a curse.”

Rarity ran a hoof along a bolt of dark blue silk cloth and levitated it up to Bastian.

“It really is a shame about your cloak.” She hummed thoughtfully. “Blue is definitely your color, unlike that er, interesting shade of brown you have on now.”

Bastian frowned and looked down at his robes while Lielle snorted behind her hand. He had received his robes years ago when he first began his apprenticeship at the College and Lielle had done her best to keep them going over the years but at this point the mud stains, dried dragon’s blood, pony vomit and magic that was woven into the fabric was the only thing keeping them together.

“They were- they were blue when I got them.” Bastian muttered.

Rarity’s face twisted in disgust and horror as though Bastian had told her that they were spun from filth instead of cloth.

“Yuck!” Sweetie said making a similar face.

“This will not stand!” Rarity said firmly stamping a hoof to the ground. “Bastian Bellrend you are going to be representing the whole of your people! In Canterlot! In the Princesses own castle! You are not going to be leaving here looking anything short of fabulous, I forbid it! Now strip down!”

“I uh- I don’t-

“Uh, Rarity? Nudity is something of a taboo for us.” Lielle said with light blush.

“Ah.” Rarity said. “I see. Well then, that explains why everyone in your party is dressed in, uh “clothes”, I suppose if I didn’t have a coat I’d be embarrassed to walk around myself. Clothes are a bit more of a luxury to us ponies but not something that any self-respecting pony would do without. At any rate Mister Bellrend I can’t take your measurements is you are fully clothed. Come, come! It’s not as though you have anything I haven’t seen before.”

Bastian raised an eyebrow at her and Rarity’s cheeks flushed a deep scarlet.

“Uh- w-what I mean to say is that, er, it’s not as though I LOOK at- uh-

Her stammering trailed off and Sweetie Belle frowned at her sister. Wally defensively covered his groin with his tail.

“But Rarity, Bastian is something you’ve never seen before.” Sweetie said.

“I know what you meant.” Bastian sighed peeling off his gloves. “Let’s get it over with.”

He cast a frown at Lielle, who blushed again, cleared her throat and stood up.

“I’ll uh, just find Twilight and let her know where we are shall I?”

“Sweetie Belle, why don’t you go and play with your little friends?” Rarity asked motioning with her hoof. “You too Wally, run along!”

“Aw but I wanted to help make the dress!” Sweetie whined as Rarity pushed her out of the door with her magic.

“Me too!” Wally whined in a similar tone.

“We are not making a dress Sweetie Belle.” Rarity sighed patiently. “Males do not wear dresses.”

“That things a guy?!” Sweetie exclaimed.

Bastian threw his gloves down with a scowl while Lielle howled with laughter. The door closed on them with a slam and Rarity turned back to Bastian.

“Er, you- you ARE a male right?” She asked uncertainly.

“Yes!”

“Sorry, sorry! Can’t quite tell you all apart just yet!” Rarity said. “Would you like a cup of tea or anything?”

“No thanks.” He said shortly. “Just get on with it.”

Sheepishly, he let his robes fall away and he was left standing there in nothing but his woolen braies. His robes glowed with a pale light and Rarity scooped them up in her magic and dropped them into a garbage bag.

“I’ll just get these washed and get them back to you later.” She said turning back to Bastian. “Now then, I was thinking- Oh!”

The Unicorn gasped at the sight of Bastian’s exposed body. While the mage stood several inches shorter than any of his pure blooded Nordic kinsmen and a full head shorter than Shahk, he wasn’t considered small by pony standards. Standing nearly twice the height of a stallion with only a hint of lean muscles, his pale skin was covered in several scars from the years of fighting and hardship in Skyrim but the worst by far was his back which was reflected in the mirror behind him. The burns started at his neck, ran down his arm and the entire length of his back, down his pants and continued to just below the back of his knee. The flesh was in various shades of red, some areas darker than others depending on how badly the area had been burned. Then there was his right foot. The front half of it was missing and in its place was a prosthetic made out of a gold colored metal, held in place by a leather strap wrapped around his ankle. Rarity looked at him nervously and Bastian looked down at her indifferently.

“Well?” He said blankly.

“I-I’m sorry!” She stammered. “I didn’t mean to-

“It’s fine. Just take your measurements.”

Rarity nodded and quickly went to work. Her measuring tape levitated around Bastian’s body and she did her best not to stare at his wounds, silently mourning what might have otherwise been an immaculate complexion. She paused as she noticed what seemed to be a tattoo on his right hand in between his thumb and index finger. It was a strange symbol she had never seen before. It reminded her of an O but the bottom of it was missing and it was flat on the top and had a dot in the center. She started to ask him about it but decided against it, not wanting to offend the mage any more than she felt she had. She wrapped the tape around his waist and thought she saw him shift uncomfortably.

“Does it… does it hurt?” She asked removing the tape. “We can stop if you’d like?”

“It’s fine.”

She nodded and continued.

“At first I was thinking Bleu de Prance but now that I get a good look at your… at your skin in the light I’m thinking something darker to compliment your fair tone, perhaps something like a midnight? I have plenty of Saddle Arabian silk left over from a previous order that would look stunning with silver accents. I can give it a higher collar if you like to er, cover the marks and I could sew you a new pair of gloves as well.”

“You don’t need to go to so much trouble.” Bastian said. “Besides, I don’t have any money to-

“Nonsense.” Rarity scolded him as if he had insulted her. “You can forget all about that. Just consider them a welcoming gift from me if you must. Besides, I’d be lying if I said my generosity was completely selfless. I’ve never had the opportunity to design any clothes for bipeds before. We don’t have very many of them in Equestria you see. Well, there are the Minotaurs I suppose but most of them would just as soon strut around shirtless flexing those big muscles of theirs. I mean really, who are they trying to impress?”

“Minotaurs?”

“Yes.” Rarity nodded. “They are creatures with bodies similar enough to yours but with bovine features, horns and hooves you know? You hear stories about them all the time, forming bandit gangs in the mountains and plains, robbing travelers. You do see them in some of the more populated areas every once in a while but even then they are little more than brutes for hire.”

“We had them in Tamriel but I never saw them myself. They were just monsters as far as I can tell.” Bastian said.

“The way that some behave. It’s repulsive is what it is.” Rarity sighed. “But as I was saying, Fluttershy and I were talking about clothes for bipedal creatures just the other day and poof! You all appear and we’re up to our manes in them! That’s not to say we haven’t enjoyed your company so far of course!”

“You should speak to Taarie and Endarie.” Bastian said. “They’re both tailors themselves. They had a shop in the city of Solitude before they were kicked out.”

“Kicked out? Whatever for?”

“They’re Altmer. High Elves. A popular rumor going around at the time was that it was the Elves that were responsible for the dragon’s return.”

He scoffed.

“They were lucky. There were others who got it a lot worse.”

Rarity removed her glasses and frowned sadly as Bastian as she snipped a final thread. Hearing everything that his people had been through made her heart ache and it certainly made her grateful for what she had. She didn’t even want to think about where she would be if she was in their horseshoes. It was easy to take what you had for granted but meeting someone who has nothing made a mare grateful for everything.

“There we are.” Rarity said taking a step back and admiring her work. “All finished. What do you think?”

Bastian looked down at himself, unaware that the Unicorn had been working the entire time they had been talking. He turned around to see his reflection in the mirror and was immediately uncomfortable. He was wearing something akin to a fine black doublet made of quilted cloth and lined with silver threads over a dark blue silk shirt and black trousers. In addition to his new suit of clothes Rarity had also apparently cleaned him with magic. His hair was no longer greasy and his nails actually shined in a way he was not used to.

“Typically I prefer to sew my garments by hoof, to add a personal touch you know, but magic is much, much faster. It’s a bit of a rush job I know but it should get you through your first trip to Canterlot.” Rarity said as Bastian stared at his new clothes. “Now, the stitching should hold, just do be careful not to get caught on anything. Saddle Arabian silk is divine but sharp objects and corners are its worst enemy. I imagine that you’ll be in and out of Canterlot a lot in the near future so I’d like to tailor you a few suits to have on hoof- er, hand. I do quite enjoy the renaissance look you lot have going for you but I was thinking something a bit more modern. A tailcoat perhaps? Oh, a nice waist jacket would look very strapping I think!”

“Rarity this is too much.” Bastian said.

It was true; the most expensive thing that the mage owned clothing wise was a thick wool coat he had purchased from a pawn shop in the Grey Quarter in Windhelm. Clothes such as these would be something only the absurdly rich would wear and the mage felt more awkward in them than when he was naked a few moments ago.

“Up up up!” Rarity said holding up a hoof. “I don’t want to hear it. As I said they are a gift and if you protest anymore I shall be insulted.”

Bastian smiled uncomfortably. This didn’t seem like a battle he’d be able to win. He could only thank Rarity as he stepped down from the platform to put on his boots which she had apparently cleaned with magic while she worked.

“Don’t mention it darling.” Rarity said waving a hoof. “Generosity is my middle name, or my element at the very least. You mind your manners in Canterlot and do be sure to send Twilight my regards.”

“I will. And thanks again.”

She waved to him as he left and closed the door behind him. She turned back to her studio and gazed over her supplies and tools. Her glasses slowly lowered onto her face and her eyes narrowed in determination. There were two hundred aliens outside dressed in clothes she didn’t deem fit for a pig and she was determined to do her part.

“Let’s do this…”

Author's Notes:

Okay, been a long time now. Obviously I have a problem with updating regularly but this story is not dead. It lays there on the ground but it does twitch every now and again. To make up for it I should have another chapter or two posted within a few days. In the mean time, enjoy this picture of Regnbue Dash.

Girl's been hanging out with the Nord's a bit too much.