It was a beautiful day in the land of Equestria. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and everyone was having a wonderful day.

Except for Celestia and Twilight and Cadence and Rarity and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy and Trixie and whoever else you might have as your waifu kuz they were all getting banged by an alicorn.

A depressed alicorn.

A depressed red and black alicorn.

A depressed red and black alicorn with attitude.

A depressed red and black alicorn with attitude named Emostar Ravenclaw.

He was depressed all the time because he was too powerful and everyone hated him, yet he could have sex with any mare he wanted.

He was just that badass.

In fact, he was so badass, he could use #hashtags on Facebook and nopony cared.

And his cutie mark was the grim reaper riding a T-Rex through a black hole while gunning down a horde of zombies with two unlawfully large guns.

Yeah… that badass.

He had just finished banging your waifu whenever he hopped off and said "I'm gonna go save the world from the oppressive terror of mecha ponies and changelings that haunt this Fallout universe."

"But my body is waiting for you," your waifu said with an extremely orgasmic tone. "I want all five of your horns in me right now."

Emostar had five horns. One for each of the princesses that gave him a blowjob.

"Sorry, but I'm an alicorn, and I've got some wish-fulfilling to do."

With that he took off faster than Rainbow Dash and found an army of changelings and stuff to destroy.

"Oh look, here comes the self-insert," the bad guy leader said.

"PSH, I inserted myself into yo mama last night," Emostar replied.

With that he used his extreme powerful magic to destroy every bad guy, regardless of the consequences it would have.

Seeing how his work was done, he walked back home to Ponyville, where Spike was getting laid by every made and Celestia was in the kitchen making a sandwich for him.

Life was good, but he was depressed so he began to promptly whine and complain about everything wrong. Mainly about how he had a hankering for some waifu behind.

Then Pinkie Pie came in and started murdering every one. She was violent like that.

Then Emostar decided to check the comments on his latest Facebook post, and people were saying he sucked and stuff so he deleted all their comments because it made him feel awesome.

Then, because he was all angsty and stuff, he posted a new blog post:

Why you hate storiesth that are mine, kuz you don’t like them, but they’re good. I thought love tolearnce was here but wrong so I hate you all, read my story dammit kuz it’s better than yours, you all suckk so leave me alone nobody likes you kuz i’m perfect and I don’t need to take yor honest opinions about me to heart because i don’t need to improve heck yeah, blah blah blah baddass whoo!

He then went outside to get some booty, and found a random mare. “Hey, you. Let’s have sex.”

“Umm, no thank you,” said Bon Bon, the mare he was talking to. “I’m not really into stallions. However, it’s my personal choice and I mean no disrespect to anyone else’s personal opinions, just as they should respect mine.” The purple and pink maned, cream colored candy shop owner smiled because she was a nice and productive member of society like everyone else.

“Psh, you need a reality check! Everyone knows lesbians are a nasty product of evil!” Emostar said, asserting his opinion in an offensive and mean and rude and unkind manner that benefited absolutely no one.

He then walked on, asserting his awesomeness until he came across Flash Sentry, who was having sex with Twilight in someone else’s story, so he left them alone. There was nothing wrong with that. Next Chapter: Chapter 2: More Sex and Filler Estimated time remaining: 2 Minutes