“Let’s have another round of applause for Evergreen!” Spike said.

“I really liked the part when the bear broke into the stadium and started juggling all the ingredients,” Pinkie said.

“Oh, yes, and I enjoyed the creative solution Evergreen came up with to get them all back. I feel sorry for anypony that wasn’t paying attention and missed that.”

“Next up, we have Derpy! Hi, Derpy! Thanks for delivering all those invitations for me last week.”

Derpy stood on stage and waved at the announcing booth. She was smiling even though she felt nervous.

“What are you going to make for us, Derpy?” the judge asked.

“Muffins!”

Derpy looked around at the audience. There were so many ponies she didn’t know. Rather than focus on that, Derpy looked towards the ponies she did know. Princess Celestia was there in disguise. It was good to know Equestria had super heroes looking over it. Miss Twilight and her friends were there too. They were all nice ponies. Further down in the front row was Derpy’s friend, Carrot Top. She smiled when Derpy looked at her. Peeps, the baby chicken, was bouncing on her friend’s head. Derpy giggled at the young chicken then looked at her daughter.

Dinky was waving and shouting. She was too far away to hear, but Derpy knew what she was saying. Derpy’s smile became genuine. She no longer felt nervous. Even though today wasn’t a Second Sunday, Derpy would be baking for Dinky.

“Miss Derpy,” the judge with the stopwatch said. “Are you ready?”

“Ready.”

“Go!”

Derpy rushed forward. This was it. It was time to fight the enemy and win for Dinky. Derpy grabbed a bowl and other utensils first. Speed was important. With how angry the enemy seemed today, she couldn’t waste time hunting for the tools she would need when things started to go bad.

Derpy went to the ingredient rack next and bit onto a small sack of flour. The bottom of the sack tore open as she lifted it, spilling flour all over the stage. She looked around the ingredient rack. That was the only sack of flour. Using her hooves, she scraped some flour between them and then dumped it into her bowl. It was taking a long time, but Derpy didn’t know what else to do. The flour on the floor eventually got spread too thin for her to continue picking it up. She looked at her bowl. It wasn’t enough flour, but it would have to do.

Derpy opened a carton of eggs and selected one. She rapped it on the side of the bowl. The egg didn’t crack so Derpy hit it harder. After a minute of repeatedly trying to crack open the egg, Derpy spat it into the bowl and glared at it.

“It appears Derpy is having some trouble with her egg,” Spike said.

Derpy raised a hoof and hit the egg. She then tried hitting it again and again.

“A whole lot of trouble,” Spike said. “Are those eggs or rocks?”

“They could be rocky eggs.”

“I have no idea what those are, but Derpy is going to have to come up with something, if she’s going to make it through this round.”

Derpy was beginning to sweat. The enemy wasn’t trying to make her bake bad, it was trying not to let her bake at all. That wasn’t fair. She returned to the egg carton and tried for a different egg. The egg she was reaching for exploded with a bang, sending bits of shell and raw egg everywhere except her bowl. Derpy shook her head to try and get the egg off. She heard another bang and watched as, one by one, each of the eggs exploded.

Derpy frowned but didn’t give up. She wasn’t going to fail. She picked up her bowl and dumped the flour onto the countertop on top of the splattered eggs. She moved the flour around until it eventually stuck to enough of the eggs to begin forming a dough. Derpy smiled at her work. One step ahead of the enemy. That’s where she had to be. She returned the dough to her bowl and walked towards the ingredient rack.

“I... don’t think I’ve ever seen a competitor have this much trouble before,” Spike said.

“Me neither, but tha—oh uh! Pinchy knee! Watch out, Derpy!”

The ingredient rack tilted forward and smashed into the stage. Derpy barely had time to move out of the way. All the spilled ingredients were mixed together, and not in a good way. The milk was running off the stage, and she couldn’t find the butter. Derpy pinched what she hoped was sugar between her hooves and dropped it into her bowl.

Derpy looked up at the audience, at Dinky. Her daughter was watching her but no longer smiling. She looked worried. Dinky shouldn’t be worried. She should be happy. Derpy began grabbing what she could and adding it to her bowl. She would not fail.

Derpy grabbed a wooden spoon and began to stir. The spoon broke in two. She picked out the broken spoon and began stirring by hoof. The bowl shattered. Derpy pulled the dough out of the broken bowl and picked pieces of glass out of the dough. She continued mixing on the countertop. Why was the enemy doing this? Derpy dropped the dough onto the muffin tin. She pushed at it and got it inside the circles the best she could.

With the muffin tin of dough in mouth, Derpy walked towards the oven. She stepped onto a patch of egg and slipped, landing on her stomach. The tray fell from her mouth and began sliding towards the edge of the stage. Derpy pulled herself forward and flapped her wings for extra speed. She bit onto the tray just before it went over the edge, but her forward momentum sent her body flying off the stage. The audience gasped. Derpy flapped her wings fiercely to stop herself. She looked back. One of her hooves was still on the stage. She slowly and carefully flew backwards until she was standing on the stage again. The muffin tray was still level and hadn’t spilled. Derpy carefully approached the oven.

The oven door was stuck. Derpy wrapped her hooves around the handle and pulled as hard as she could. The door began to open slightly, only to shut again when she stopped pulling. Derpy breathed heavily and grabbed on tighter. She pulled with all of her might and flapped her wings. Slowly, the oven opened. Derpy looked down, and when she had the oven door opened enough, she spat the tray inside. The oven door slammed shut.

“D-done,” Derpy said wearily, then twisted the oven timer.

Derpy panted and let her eyes look around the stadium. The audience was cheering and applauding. Dinky was smiling again. Derpy began to smile too. The battle was hard, and she would have to do it two more times tonight, but it would be worth it.

She then heard a hissing sound coming from the oven. She looked that way and gasped.

A thin stream of dough was shooting out of a crack on top of the oven. Derpy quickly placed a hoof over it. Another crack appeared, and more dough began to spray out. The enemy was still trying to stop her. Derpy plugged the second crack with a hoof. More cracks appeared each time she plugged one. Hoof, wing tip, wing tip, tail, hoof, chin. Derpy’s body was stretched around the oven, but she was keeping the dough inside. She would remain like this until the muffins finished cooking. She would not fail.

The oven began to groan. The enemy was trying to scare her. Derpy held on. She would finish.

The oven began to rumble. The enemy wanted Derpy to give up. It wanted to see Dinky unhappy. Derpy wouldn’t allow it.

The oven began to bulge and expand under pressure. Derpy held on, even with her grip becoming harder to maintain. There was nothing the enemy could do to stop her.

The oven felt like it was about to explode. The enemy was angry. It didn’t like Derpy to succeed. She closed her eyes. Dinky was counting on her. She wasn’t afraid of the enemy. She would. Not. Fail.

The oven's timer dinged.

The stadium was quiet. The oven no longer rumbled. Derpy knew something had just gone wrong. She slowly opened one eye then the other. The oven was still in one piece. It wasn’t bulging or misshapen. She removed her body from it. There were no cracks along the surface of the oven. She looked around the stage. The ingredient rack was still standing. There was no mess on the floor or countertop. Nothing was broken.

Derpy looked at the oven timer. It had run out and dinged to let her know the muffins were ready. She looked around at the audience. They were clearly confused by the change of events. Everypony was waiting, though. What was in the oven?

Derpy bit into a mouth mit and opened the oven. She looked inside, and a feeling of dread came over her. Something hadn’t gone wrong. It was worse. Something had gone right. Horribly, horribly right. Derpy bit onto the muffin tray and pulled it out.

“Wow!” Pinkie said. “Those are some amazing looking muffins!”

“Yes, Pinkie, but you have to remember, it’s very easy for a baked bad to look like a baked good. With that in mind, send in the taste tester!”

The taste tester climbed up on stage. He looked at Derpy. Derpy grinned nervously and placed a muffin on a plate. The taste tester took the plate and sat on his haunches. He looked at the muffin from all angles and then raised a questioning eyebrow at Derpy. Derpy continued grinning nervously. The taste tester took a few calming breaths, then took a bite out of the muffin.

The audience was silent again as they watched the taste tester chew. After a few seconds, the taste tester closed his eyes and swallowed, then gasped. His eyes shot open wide, and his body stopped moving. The plate and muffin tumbled to the stage. Derpy sighed in relief. Her muffin had caused a pony’s body to lock up. That was good. Actually, that was very bad and this pony would need immediate medical attention. However, it was good for Derpy. She might be able to move on to the semi-finals now.

The taste tester whispered something.

Everypony in the audience seemed to be leaning forward to try and hear better. The taste tester’s lips started to quiver, and his eyes scrunched up. Tears began to flow down his face.

“Delicious!” the taste tester yelled. “Delicious! Never in my life have I tasted something so delicious! How could something this good exist? I was blind. I tasted so many bad things that I began to hate myself. Hate this world. But I was wrong. How could any world in which something this delicious exists be anything but a paradise?”

The taste tester stood up. His body shook as if he had just been dunked into a tank of ice water. “What am I doing here? Tonight is my wedding anniversary. Why am I here instead of at home with my loving wife and two foals? Crystal Dream! I’m so sorry! I’m coming home!”

With that, the taste tester leapt from the stage and galloped out of the stadium. Derpy could only stare in horror.

“I don’t believe it,” Spike said. “The muffins somehow turned out good. Better than good even. What happened?”

“Weeelll... this is only a theory of mine, but I think it’s possible for a baker to be so bad that their aura loops around back into itself. This causes a negative resistance feedback that creates an inverse amplification of the bad baking matrix through the terminal output resulting in a positive flow across their primary culinary channel. Of course, I have no evidence to back any of this up...”

“...What?”

“Miss Derpy,” one of the judges said. “Edible food is not allowed in this competition. I am sorry, but you are disqualified.”

It hurt for Derpy to breathe. She looked around at the audience. Some ponies looked concerned. Some were shaking their heads. A few ponies were even laughing. Derpy looked at Dinky, and her heart ached. The contest was over for her. The prize was gone. Derpy lowered her head. She had failed.

A murmur from the audience began to grow louder. Derpy looked up, and her eyes opened wide. Dinky was there, tears streaming down her face as she ran across the field as fast as her legs could carry her.

“Dinky,” Derpy whispered as she stepped from stage and began moving towards her daughter.

Dinky tackled her mom, knocking her back onto her haunches. Dinky began to rub her tear-soaked face into Derpy’s mane.

“It’s alright, Mommy. It’s alright. I still love you.”

Derpy held her daughter. “Shhh,” she whispered. “I know.”

The stadium was silent, then a sound began. It started softly, but the sound grew louder and louder. Derpy looked up at every pony in the stadium cheering and stamping their hooves in applause. She smiled and looked down at Dinky, who was trying hard to smile too. She crouched and let Dinky climb up onto her back. Derpy stood proudly and waved to the audience.

“Aww, I think this was my favorite performance yet. Don’t you think so, Spike?”

“What? Uh, y-yeah. Don’t mind me... I just have some dust in my eyes.”

“I have a feeling this isn’t the last we’ve seen of Derpy. Maybe she’ll compete in the Best Baker in Equestria Competition later this year.”

Spike sniffed loudly. “She can bake good now?”

“Uh, duhhh. Didn’t you listen to my theory? With how bad her bad luck was before, she just might have become the greatest baker ever.”

Derpy listened to the announcers. They were right. She couldn’t feel it anymore. The enemy was gone. That meant she could bake. She could bake well for Dinky. Every day. Derpy smiled as she nuzzled Dinky. This was the best prize ever.