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The Worst Bakers in Equestria

by Bob From Bottles

Chapter 14: Chapter Fourteen - The Preliminaries - Above All Else, Be Happy

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Luna made an attempt to stop chewing on her lip. It was finally her group's turn for the preliminary testing, and she was next in line. The pony up on stage wasn’t doing well. She kept making mistakes. Not the ‘Ops, my dough spilled and I’m now stuck to the floor’ mistakes, but rather the ‘I forgot where I put my spoon and spent the past five minutes looking for it before realizing it was still in my mouth’ mistakes. The three judges had stopped taking notes and were waiting patiently—with only a minimal amount of sighing and rolling of their eyes—for the pony to finish.

Still, she was probably doing better than how Luna would fare.

Luna’s aura, or rather her lack of one, still worried her. Sweet had said, ‘No aura means you’re a normal pony that bakes normally.’ However, Luna didn’t bake normally. At least, not normally. It was confusing. It was like there was a thousand rules that were always changing and everypony else knew them but wouldn’t tell her.

At least something had turned out right today. The royal guards had come and arrested the beaten up Snuggle Cakes, the caged ponies had been set free, and the preliminaries had resumed. Everything was great except for the whispering that Princess Luna had made an appearance. That news would definitely get to Canterlot sooner rather than later.

Luna wondered what she was going to tell her sister about Snuggle Cakes and how she had stopped him. What if she said she had learned of a plot against Equestria and acted on her own? No, too irresponsible. She had a vision in a dream and came to check it out? Too unlikely. She had developed a sixth sense where by observing various little niggly feelings in her body, she could predict the future? No. Her sister would more likely believe that a talking dog had told her. Luna knew she couldn’t lie to her sister. Not anymore. She would go along with her plan of confessing tonight. More likely even sooner when she completely blew her test in a few minutes.

‘Stop trying so hard, and above all else, be happy,’ Sweet had said. Good advice for anypony. Perhaps it was the secret to the auras? Do you just have to not try hard and be happy for it to work? Luna wasn’t trying hard. She didn’t even know how one was supposed to try hard at baking bad. Emotions could often be used in magic. Maybe the aura only worked while a pony was happy? That didn’t seem likely. Many ponies here didn’t exactly seem happy, but they still passed the pre-test to get in. Besides, Luna was happy. Wasn’t she?

Luna wasn’t feeling sad, but happy wasn’t really the emotion she felt either. Today had been... frustrating. Yesterday had been a happier day. She had spent yesterday... combing the library for a history book on the WBEs she had read once and then getting frustrated when she learned it had been checked out a week ago. Okay, bad example, but the day before that had been... No. Surely earlier this week... Luna didn’t like where this train of thought was going. How many days of frustration had she put herself through? How long had it been since she was last truly happy? Sometime before all this competition nonsense started for sure.

“Thank you for waiting, Morning Dew. It’s your turn now,” one of the judges said to Luna.

Luna began to walk towards the stage and kept thinking about when she was truly happy last. She was usually happy when she was with her sister. Like that time they had gone to the theatre together. That was a truly happy day.

Luna stepped up to the baking station.

Or the time they had a picnic in the forests beneath Canterlot, and the ants had carried away their last cupcake. That had also been a truly happy day.

Luna started moving some of the ingredients around the counter top.

Or the time they had visited that candy factory, and her sister had insisted that they try the new magical soda with the carbonation that let you float. That had been a very weird day, but it had been a truly happy day too.

Luna poured some flour into the bowl.

There were so many days. So many happy times. Which one was she looking for? Which one would help her now? What was the secret between happiness and the aura? Was there even a secret, or was Luna just trying hard to find something that wasn’t even there?

Stop trying so hard! Every truly happy day she had remembered had one thing in common.

Luna stopped herself in mid-reach for her spoon.

Luna suddenly missed her sister. That feeling of togetherness, of not having to worry about what someone else thinks, of just being yourself, of love. She couldn’t wait for tonight. Luna let her magic flow into Equestria. She didn’t want to hide anymore. She spread her magic wide, searching for that familiar feeling. Almost instantly she found her sister’s magic. They spoke wordlessly.

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

I’m sorry.

Don’t be. I forgive you.

They embraced. It wasn’t a physical embrace, but it carried the same meaning. Luna smiled. She reluctantly let go of her sister’s magic and drew her own magic back towards her. They were going to have a lot to talk about tonight. As Luna began pulling the last of her magic out of Equestria, she sensed it: the bad luck magic, still full of energy from the earlier use of the null-stone. Luna had found its hiding place. She reached for it.

Luna gasped as the waves of magic washed over her. She feared she would be overwhelmed again, but the magic was different this time. She didn’t feel like she was drowning, more like riding a giant wave. This was... this was... what was this? Why was it so familiar?

This power. This was where the bad baking aura came from? Did her sister know? How could she not? How was any non-alicorn able to touch this? Why could only some ponies use it? Why did it only affect baking? What was that judge saying?

“Morning Dew! If you are not going to continue, then I suggest you withdraw and exit the stage.”

The test! Luna reigned in the magic to a more controllable level. It was time to give these ponies a show they’ll never forget.

~~~

It was cheating. Luna knew this, but she didn’t care. It was far too much fun. The magic had its limits. It couldn’t be forced, but it could be directed. She could tell the batter to burst and write a message on the wall, but she couldn't control what was written. That the magic had chosen to write something obscene was a little embarrassing.

Luna added sugar and made the batter flash like a strobe light. The eggs shattered as full-grown doves flew out and around the room. The batter erupted from the bowl like a water spout. Luna laughed as she tried to push it back in. She felt like a filly playing in a puddle of mud, which, truthfully, was a fairly accurate description of her current actions.

When she felt she had done enough, Luna poured the batter into a baking dish and placed it in the oven. She made sure the magic would cause fungus to grow on it. Hopefully, a big mushroom would be in the center. Luna turned and smiled at the judges.

The judges stared at Luna, mouths agape. Luna looked down at herself and realized she was almost completely covered in batter. She shook herself the best she could, then returned to smiling.

“Th-thank you, Morning Dew. You may return with the others to the waiting area.”

~~~

“How was it?” Derpy asked as Luna came back to the waiting area.

“It was fun,” Luna said.

“I wish my baking was fun instead of mean. I really hope we both get chosen!”

“Yeah, uh... so do I.”

Luna realized that her little stunt likely guaranteed her a spot in the finals. She was worried about that. There were so many ponies here. Some were just in it for the glory, but some had had very good reasons to compete. Like Derpy and her daughter. If Luna got picked instead of Derpy... well, she’d just have to compete and see if she could give the prize away.

The waiting room was filled with the chatter of ponies discussing their test. A few had been asked to come back for a second trial. The atmosphere was that of nervous excitement. Very soon the judges would return and announce the finalists.

Derpy was humming the song from earlier. Luna knew she would never be able to get that tune out of her head. It was nice to know she at least had a beautiful singing voice.

The doors opened and the three judges from the test as well as the two from outside stepped through. The noise stopped as all the competitors watched the judges assemble along the wall.

“Attention, competitors!” the judge in the center said loudly. “We would like to thank each and every one of you for your patience during today’s testing and the little... mishap earlier. We have deliberated long and hard and in the end, we have come to a decision on this year’s finalists!

“Fillies and Gentlecolts, be sure to give a big round of applause as I present to you, in no particular order, our finalists!

“Rainbow Dash!”

Rainbow Dash took to the air, did a flip, and landed by the judges. “Alright,” she said. “I hope all of you are ready because I won’t be making it easy this year.”

“Royal Blue!”

A unicorn stallion calmly stepped forward and took a spot next to Rainbow Dash. There were a couple quiet giggles in the crowd about bunnies. Rainbow Dash gave Royal Blue a nervous grin. Royal Blue just turned up his head and looked away.

“Evergreen!”

A green earth pony mare shouted in excitement and stepped forward.

“Trixie!”

Trixie walked forward. Rainbow Dash shot her an angry look that only caused Trixie to smirk.

“Morning Dew!”

Luna walked forward and smiled the best she could.

“Fair Breeze!”

A white pegasus stallion flapped gently through the air and took his place in line.

“Sunny Lights!”

An orange earth pony with a long red mane gasped, looked around nervously then slowly took her place in line.

“Derpy!”

Luna let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. Derpy trotted into line, her face beaming proudly.

“These are this year’s finalists. Each of them is an exceptionally bad baker, but, after tonight, only one of them will get to call themselves the Worst Baker in Equestria! Let’s give them all another round of applause!”

~~~

Luna stood outside enjoying the fresh air. Some of the ponies not picked had been disappointed but most had been happy when they received free tickets to the runner-up section in the stadium. It had been a crazy day. Luna still wasn’t sure what to do about being in the competition tonight.

“Hello,” a friendly voice called.

Luna turned to look at a unicorn mare with a pink mane and a white coat. She was smiling happily and levitating a notepad and pencil.

“Hi,” Luna said then watched the pad and pencil float next to her face.

“Can I get your autograph?”

“Oh! Ah... sure.” Luna balanced the pad on a hoof and took the pencil in her mouth.

“I’m your biggest fan, Princess Luna!”

Luna’s jaw clenched, causing her to bite the pencil in two. She spat out the broken wood and graphite. How did this keep happening to her? She felt her ears pop as a soundproof bubble of magic surrounded her and the unicorn. Luna hadn’t cast that spell. She looked at the unicorn. Pink mane, white coat, and a... yep... sun for a cutie mark.

“Sister?” Luna ventured.

“Oh-uh. Looks like you’ve seen through my disguise,” Celestia said with a smirk.

“Disguise? My illusion is a disguise. This is a full body transformation. What are you doing here?”

“Do you honestly think you’re the only princess who enjoys sneaking out of the castle?” Celestia said with a mischievous grin.

“But... what about your meetings, and the petitions?”

“The meetings went quick and there were only a few petitions thanks to so many ponies going to the WBEs tonight. I just had to come and cheer you on.”

“About that. I’m, well... I’m not sure I’ll be competing.”

“Oh?”

“It seems unfair. I can sort of control the bad baking magic.”

“And you think the others can’t?”

“Huh?”

“Every pony that makes it into the finals has at least some control over the magic, even if it’s done subconsciously. Remember your soup? If you’re really worried about an unfair advantage then just grab onto the magic, but don’t tell it to do anything. Let your subconscious direct it.”

“I suppose I could—the magic! I need to tell you about the source and—” Luna sighed. Her sister’s face said everything. “You already know. Don’t you?”

“I do.”

“You’ve had to have seen me researching this. I know you’ve seen the dents in the library’s tables. Didn’t you think I would have liked a clue?”

“I wanted to tell you, I really did, but I know how you get when you start obsessing over something, and I didn’t want to ruin your efforts.”

“I was not obsessing!”

Celestia raised an eyebrow.

“Okay... I was obsessing. Sorry.”

“Don’t start this again. If anyone should be sorry, it’s me for watching you get so caught up in your research and not saying anything about it.”

“Yeah... well. Anyway, now you can answer all my questions.”

“Where the magic came from, why it affects only baking, how some ponies can manipulate it?”

“Yes!”

“It’s a secret.” Celestia laughed. “Oh! If only you could see the look on your face!”

Luna did her best to scowl at her sister.

Celestia smiled and shook her head. “You’re this close to figuring it all out on your own. Do you really want me to spoil it for you?”

“Well... I guess not...”

“Tell you what. Tonight, after the competition is over, we’ll have a talk. I’ll tell you everything you want to know about the magic, and in return, you need to tell me all the stories about the adventures you’ve been going on.”

Luna laughed nervously. “You, um... you know about those?”

“You’ve never been very good at keeping secrets from me. By the way. You forgot to create that illusion of you sleeping in your bed this morning. Don’t worry, I covered for you. So, do we have a deal?”

So many careless mistakes lately. Luna knew she would have to get some real sleep once this was over. “Deal,” she said.

“Good. I can’t wait to see you compete. Just remember, it isn’t about winning, it’s about giving the audience a show they’ll talk about for the rest of their lives.”

“I’ll be sure to do just that.” Luna smiled and looked at the position of the sun. “There are still a couple of hours before the competition. Would you like to get something to eat?”

“Of course,” Celestia said happily. “Though, I hope you don’t mind if an old friend of mine joins us.” Celestia nodded into the distance at Sweet Soufflé, who nodded back.

“Not as long as you don’t mind if a new friend of mine joins us.” Luna looked at Derpy, who was trying her hardest to look nonchalant while still trying to bounce like a fanfilly meeting her second super hero of the day.

Next Chapter: Chapter Fifteen - The Preliminaries - This Makes about as Much Sense as Anything Else That Has Happened Today Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 3 Minutes
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