"He-yah! Awwrgh!" shouted a man dressed in attire that greatly resembled that of a Japanese ninja, though with an extravagant theme of a poisonous insect and a color of a rustic gold. He was in the midst of an arduous life-or-death struggle against another man in a grassy field in front of the smoldering remains of an unknown building.

"You will pay for the destruction of the temple of my brethren, foul demon!" proclaimed the man who'd just attacked the ninja. This man bore long, shaggy hair, a crimson red headband, spiked wristbands, and stylish black pants with large stripes on the outer sides of them that shared the same shade of crimson as his headband. "WAAAAAAAAWW!!" he shouted in a falsetto voice as he spontaneously launched himself foot-first at the ninja. Evidently, he and this presumably-demonic ninja were locked in kombat for something within the ballpark of revenge.

*THUMP* "AAAWGH!" the demon shouted in agony as he was propelled back from the force of the other man's flying kick. "You cannot harm me, Liu Kang! The wrath of Scorpion burns deeply," the demon known as Scorpion said as he gingerly stood back up. "The White Lotus aided the Lin Kuei in the deaths of my clan, and for that, they paid with their lives! And soon, so will you!!" screamed Scorpion as he disappeared in a flash of fire.

*SMACK* "OHH!" The enraged ninja hit his mark as he appeared behind the bare-chested man and punched him in the face, forcing him to stumble back. Seeming none too hurt, but all the more livid, Liu Kang brushed the blood running from his lip off with his fist. "I do not fear you, demon. You are a fool to believe everything Quan Chi tells you. You may send your treacherous master my regards when I send you back to the Netherrealm where you belong for killing my brothers and burning down my sacred temple!!" With that announcement, Liu Kang launched into action, charging at Scorpion with the intent of tearing the wraith to shreds.

The two interlocked in a heated close-quarters battle, exchanging blow for blow with neither kombatant able to best the other until Scorpion jumped back and threw a tipped kunai linked to a chain at the opposing warrior.

*SKSH* Scorpion had plunged the blade into the sternum of his opponent, stunning him momentarily.

"GET OVER HERE!!" Scorpion shouted as he, with a strong tug, pulled Liu Kang over to him, pulling the knife out in the process. Liu Kang, disoriented by Scorpion's attack, was unable to defend himself. Capitalizing on this, Scorpion delivered a jaw-shattering uppercut to Liu Kang's chin, sending the shirtless fighter barreling into the sky before landing flat on his back.

"TOASTY!" shouted a mysterious man (wearing a shirt that depicted a plate of buttered toast) from out of nowhere before disappearing as quickly as he appeared.

Liu Kang, however, miraculously recovered from the grisly blows, his resolve to defeat Scorpion undeterred. Scorpion tried again to spear Liu Kang, but the headband-adorning man was prepared. He deflected the knife into the ground and in Scorpion's surprise, Liu Kang unleashed a flurry of vicious punches and kicks, screaming like a girl with every attack he launched. The aggressive assault sent Scorpion reeling back and falling onto the ground in severe agony. He motioned to stand, but found keeping his balance hard, as Liu Kang had just beaten him senseless. In a defeated stupor, Scorpion groggily danced around as if he were drunk, thus symbolizing that he had no strength left to fight.

"FINISH HIM!!" demanded a demonic voice from the sky, presumably urging Liu Kang to deliver a finishing move to Scorpion.

"Now you will feel the power of the Shaolin, accursed hell-spawn!" Liu Kang proclaimed to a dizzied and thoroughly-incapacitated Scorpion before leaping into the air to kick him again; only he was pedaling his feet like he were on a bicycle as he levitated toward the defeated specter, shouting incoherent falsetto-toned gibberish.

"YODEOLYONEWIDDAYIBBODEBOAL!" the monk shouted as he delivered six devastating kicks to Scorpion's chest, knocking the specter out cold.

"Liu Kang Wins!" the inexplicable sky voice announced as Liu Kang turned to his left and took a respectful bow toward no one in particular. In that moment, Scorpion's unconscious body vanished in a flash of light...

"Scorpion! Awaken!" shouted an authoritarian voice.

"Uurgh... Wha...?" the golden-armored ninja came to, still feeling discombobulated from the beating he'd just received at the hands of a shirtless, headband-wearing monk who screamed like a frightened child throughout their bout. Nonetheless, he found himself somewhere entirely new. He seemed to be at the top of a mountain where he'd been standing in the middle of a platform, which bore a marking of a dragon in profile. He looked around to see a luminescent starry night sky, pillars with flames burning atop each of them surrounding the platform he'd found himself standing on, and that he was totally alone. Suddenly, in a flash of lightning, a being appeared before him, seeming very displeased.

"Scorpion! Your relentless, unbridled wrath has landed you in tremendous disfavor with the Elder Gods," admonished the being, a man dressed in ceremonial white garb with a blue cloth over the middle of it and wearing a straw hat.

"Raiden...?" Scorpion inquired in surprise as he rose to his feet. "Why have you summoned me here? Where is Liu Kang?"

"You need not worry about Liu Kang, Scorpion," Raiden answered in stark anger. "You should be more worried about the temple you burned down in your fit of rage. You have transgressed against the rules of Mortal Kombat and you will be punished, so decree the Elder Gods!"

"Transgression? I have done nothing of--!"

"Silence! You slaughtered countless innocents of Earthrealm and dared to assault the Mortal Kombat Champion without formally challenging him to battle in your torrent of blind hatred. This is the fifth time I've had to bring you up here, and I've all but lost my patience with you, specter! It is clear you are in need of some training in terms of self-restraint."

"You cannot subject me to your frivolous admonishments, God of Thunder! I am a resident of the Netherrealm!"

"I can when you repeatedly invade Earthrealm with the help of your master Quan Chi!" Raiden fervently countered. "Your punishment will be one totally unique in its quality, but one you desperately need. You are to be sent to an entirely different realm to learn how to control yourself and you may not return to the Netherrealm until you do."

"You will not subjugate me to your judgments!!" Scorpion angrily yelled, already losing his temper. "RAAAGH!!" he tried to attack the Thunder God, only to have him electrically teleport himself behind him. Before Scorpion could react, Raiden dove at Scorpion.

"JONNYGOTACAWWWW!!" Raiden incoherently hollered, goring Scorpion in the back and carrying him toward a swirling mass of magic and sorcery with a black hole in the middle that had been conjured up as the two men were talking. With a mighty electrified push, Raiden sent the ninja specter hurtling into the portal, where it closed after he was forced in.

"Hopefully, a stay in a land that prides itself on peace will set him straight," Raiden mused.

"WAAARGH!!" Scorpion shouted in a mixture of surprise and anguish as he was ejected from the portal Raiden forced him into. He flew from the entry point and barreled across the ground a few feet. As he slowly picked himself up and looked around, he realized he had no idea where he was. The landscape looked recognizable enough, as he'd been standing in the middle of a meadow where the sun shone brightly, animals were frolicking in the distance, and the air was fresh and cooling. It seemed as if he'd been sent back to Earthrealm. Just when he was about to make an effort to explore...

"Hello! I've been expecting you," greeted a new voice as its owner approached him. Scorpion turned to see that he was being approached by a tall, white winged unicorn with effervescent, multicolored hair that flowed seemingly in-tune with the breeze. This creature was wearing jewelry and bore a disarming smile that made her seem like she may have been someone of importance.

"Who are you, beast!?" Scorpion hastily asked in alarm, taking a stance of battle. "Do you intend to do battle?"

"At ease, friend. You must be Hanzo Hasashi," the horse-like creature said as she looked him in his pupil-less glowering white eyes. "I am Princess Celestia. I was made aware of your visitation into Equestria by the Gods of universe MK-10892. Apparently, you're here to... Hmm, let's see your transcript here..." the creature known as Princess Celestia trailed off. In an instant, however, her horn began to glow a brilliant gold and within seconds, a sheet of parchment materialized in front of her. "Humility... Patience... Pyromania..."

"What business do you have with me, beast!?" Scorpion rudely asked, never leaving his battle stance due to his wariness.

"...not to mention Manners," Celestia concluded as she made the list she'd been reading disappear as she focused her attention back on the already-irritated ninja. "As I was saying, you're apparently in need of some sort of domestication training. According to the God of Thunder in your world, you have an explosive temper, a dangerous penchant for starting massive fires, and an unhealthy obsession with revenge. My, you're quite the hothead, aren't you?" she joked, incurring the specter's wrath.

"You dare ridicule me!?" Scorpion indignantly shouted as his fists went aflame, thus proving all of Celestia's points in a matter of two seconds. "You will regret your impulsiveness! I challenge you to Mortal Kombat! FIGHT!!" Scorpion charged at Princess Celeatia with murderous intent. Celestia seemed unfazed however, as she expected such hostility, thanks to Raiden's warning. Scorpion tried to punch Celestia in the face, only for her to conjure up a magic shield to block his vicious onslaught. His determination unhindered, Scorpion tried again and again to attack the horse that just injured his pride. However, no matter how hard he fought, he couldn't breach her impregnable magical defenses. So, the reserves of his patience thoroughly dried out, Scorpion tried to teleport punch Celestia. Just before he could reach his target once he got behind her, however, she enveloped him in her aura and suspended him in the air. "What sorcery is this!? Release me this instant, foul creature!" Scorpion demanded as he tried vehemently to free himself by flailing around like a fish out of water.

"And yet, you call ME the beast..." Celestia mused. "Hanzo, calm down. You are here because Raiden thought it necessary for you to take a small vacation from the brutish, barbaric toils of your universe. I will explain further if you agree to stop fighting." Hearing that convinced Scorpion to relax, prompting Princess Celestia to gently put him down.

"Vacation? What is this talk of 'vacations'?" asked a reasonably-out-of-the-loop Scorpion.

"Simply put, Raiden informed me that he was sending you here for today so you'd spend some time learning how to control yourself. Anger Management, if you will."

"Damn that treacherous Thunder God... He will pay for his insolence...!"

"I know you're upset, but the sooner we talk about your assignment, the sooner you can go back home."

"...Elaborate, beast. Where am I? What am I to do in order to return to my realm of origin?"

"My name is Princess Celestia," the royal creature chided. "You are in a magical land known as Equestria. This world, Equestria included, is dominated by what you may know as 'horses' in your world. Here, we call ourselves 'ponies.' As I mentioned before, you are here because, from what information I was given, you need to learn some self-restraint, and Raiden thought there'd be no better place for you to learn such a quality than here. So, as your assignment, you are to tag along with a graceful volunteer and learn everything they have to teach you about patience, consideration, humility, and respect."

"And if I do not comply?" the specter dared to ask.

"Then, by decree of the Elder Gods in your world, your immortal soul is to forever suffer in the deepest, darkest pits of Tartarus, wallowing in unrelenting despair." Scorpion merely shrugged.

"I already know eternal suffering. As you may not know, I am a denizen of my universe's Netherrealm. I am no stranger to torment."

"Ah, but you will also be stripped of your special abilities and forced to become a chew toy for the guardian of Tartartus, named Cerberus." At that, the ninja weighed his options... Be forced to learn how to control himself better with the aid of ponies at the behest of the Elder Gods, or lose his powers and be stranded in this arcane world for eternity as the chew toy for the guardian of this realm's Hell? If his memory served to recall anything given the guardian's name, said guardian was most likely a colossal, ferocious three-headed demon dog.

"...I... accept your challenge," Scorpion complied, although he didn't like the circumstances of his stay in Equestria. However, if he was to return to the world of Kombat to exact his vengeance on Liu Kang and the Elder Gods, he'd obey this strange talking winged horse.

"Good," Celestia commended. "The pony I'm sending you with has graciously volunteered to help you and is very enthusiastic about making new friends. Her name is Pinkie Pie." Hearing the name of his newest comrade sent a wave of dread into the ninja wraith's gut.

"Fine. Take me to this... 'Pinkie Pie,'" Scorpion acquiesced in a tone of high disdain. Nonetheless, Celestia touched a hoof to the hell-spawn's shoulder and with a *POOF*, the two were off...

*POOF* The Princess and the specter instantaneously arrived in front of a structure that seemed to be a giant gingerbread house. Scorpion was notably displeased, as his clenched fist had been engulfed in flame.

"I do not like jokes, equine creature...!" Scorpion spat in annoyance.

"I assure you, this is no joke," Celestia let him know as she approached the door and knocked. Soon enough, another equine creature, much smaller in stature than Celestia and bearing no wings or a horn, answered. The pony was pink in color with hair far too tangled and messy for it to be considered normal by any means.

"Hiya, Princess! Did you bring our new friend?" the pink horse brightly asked.

"That I did, Pinkie. He's right over there," Celestia answered, turning and pointing a hoof at the irritable ninja. Pinkie Pie was instantly enraptured by Scorpion's look and made it known by approaching him without fear. Scorpion, of course, glared fiery death at her, but his glare went unnoticed as Pinkie inspected the ninja with utmost curiosity. She climbed onto him and sat atop his head to get an idea of what he was, which caused the specter to wrathfully try to harm her. He ignited his hands and tried to clamp the mare's head in between them, only to find that he'd hit nothing.

"Wow, you can set your claws on fire?? Neato-Mosquito!" Pinkie complimented, safely on the ground.

"These 'claws' will find your heart, filthy a--!" Scorpion almost warned, his rage building as he approached the space-encroaching pink mare with the intent of strangling her with his spear chain.

"Hanzo!" Celestia shouted, bringing the ninja's attention to her.

"Hanzo is dead! I am Scorpion!" he proclaimed.

"I'll make note of that, but I'll have you know that you are not to harm any of my subjects during your stay here. If I find a hair on any pony out of place and find that you were the cause of it, it's off to Tartarus for you. Understand?"

"...Yes," the demon built up the nerve to calmly say, his rage curbing for the time-being at the mention of his punishment.

"Good. Pinkie Pie, make sure our new friend learns how to handle himself. He's quite the hothead."

"Okie Dokie Lokie, Princess! I won't let you down!" Pinkie confidently assured. With an affirming nod, Princess Celestia charged her horn and within a second, disappeared in a flash of golden light.

"So... Hi!" Pinkie addressed Scorpion. "My name is Pinkie Pie! But you can just call me 'Pinkie'. All my friends do!"

"I have no desire to make your acquaintance, horse woman. I must return to Earthrealm to have my revenge," he coldly informed, hurting Pinkie's feelings.

"Revenge? That's no fun. Holding grudges never makes anypony happy, you know. But you know what does make ponies happy?"

"..." Scorpion said nothing, as he'd already been getting annoyed.

"Partying! And making friends! And baking things! And going on adventures, and..." As Pinkie continued to ramble on about what they could do other than get revenge, Scorpion ran out of patience yet again.

"Enough of your useless prattling, mare! You will teach me how to sublimate my aggression or your soul will burn in an endless swirl of agony and despair!"

"Oh yeah!" Pinkie cheerfully said, being reminded of the task assigned to her. "I was supposed to teach you how to be happy and not such a Sourpuss McRageyPants!" she unwittingly insulted him. Knowing he was not to harm anyone in this strange, horse-ridden world, he steeled his resolve and resisted the urge to stab his comrade to death with the swords sheathed on his back.

"...Fine. What must we do?"

"Well I've got a list of errands to run and judging by what I need to get done today, I think each one is supposed to give you some sort of lesson in... um... what did Princess Celestia say...? Gimme a sec..." she contemplated, scratching her head with a foreleg until a rolled-up sheet of parchment fell from her mane. She picked it up and unfurled it. Scorpion, clueless, impatiently waited for her to explain his tasks to him. The bright, jovial smile on Pinkie's face communicated to him that his wait wouldn't be long.

"...Well, horse woman?"

"Seriously, just call me Pinkie. But yeah, you're supposed to learn humiliation, respect, conspiracies... and pastries!" Scorpion eyed the mare as if she were illiterate, as what she said to him made no sense whatsoever.

"Let me see that," he commanded, prompting Pinkie to give him the parchment. The list was as followed:

Hanzo Hasashi's "Scorpion's" To-Do List:

1. Assist Applejack at Sweet Apple Acres to Understand Patience

2. Help Rarity Find Jewels to Learn Humility

3. Cheer up Scootaloo to Comprehend Consideration & Compassion

4. Spend Quality Time with Pinkie Pie to Gain Respect

Postscript: Failure of Any One of These Tasks Results in Automatic Punishment. In Addition, They Must be Completed Within the Span of 24 Hours, Starting at the Time of His Arrival in Equestria.

Reading the small to-do list made Scorpion instantly burn the parchment in his grasp, as he was infuriated that he'd been commanded to do such namby-pamby deeds in order to fulfill his accomplishments.

"Uh-oh! Looks like somepony had an accident!" Pinkie remarked as she watched the ashes of the list litter the ground. "Good thing I made a spare!" she cheerily informed as she took another sheet of parchment from out of her mane that presumably contained the same writing as the first. "Seeing as you read it for yourself, let's get cracking like some firecrackers, huh?"

"...As you wish... Pinkie..." Scorpion disdainfully acquiesced, as his only hope for escape from this eccentric plane of existence came in the form of a scatterbrained, hyperactive talking horse with colorful balloons branded on her backside.

"That's the spirit, um... Hans... Sorry, what was your name again?"

"I am Scorpion, ninja wraith from the Netherrealm, former member of the Shirai Ryu clan of assassins, embodiment of vengea--!"

"I'll just call you Scorpie!" Pinkie interrupted the demon's monologue. Hearing his new nickname made his eye twitch and a vein protrude ever-so-slightly from his forehead as he growled in contempt, his fists catching fire again. "You should probably do something about that flaming claw thing, Scorpie. That looks like it hurts. Anyway, enough lollygagging! Let's go see Applejack!" With that decree, Pinkie grabbed Scorpion by his flaming appendage and dragged him off with unprecedented strength. It took all the power in him not to rip his own face off and burn this perturbing pony alive where she stood. He had a mission to accomplish, and failure was not an option...

Author's Notes:

Why? Because fuck it, that's why.