Umbra’s POV

So there I was, minding my own business as I normally do, not meddling like I also normally do, when I came upon a familiar face that I had not seen in quite some time.

“Lady Fausticorn! Long time no see! How’ve you been, oh favorite mentor figure of mine?”

Oddly enough the old girl just sat there staring off into the distance for moment before turning back to me. “Hm? Oh, Umbra. Apologies, I did not notice thou approach.”

“Huh, you must’ve been pretty distracted to not notice little ‘ol me. Especially since I didn’t mask my presence at all. So, what’cha been doin’, Auntie F?”

She groaned for a moment, annoyed at that nickname, before turning back to gaze at one of the Equestria realms. “My attention hath once again been garnered by an individual I find most peculiar.”

“‘Zat so? Ya don’t normally take such an interest in most people or ponies…. might I ask who it is?”

“Him,” she pointed towards the universe. “I believe he doth claim the name of ‘Gilgamesh’. ‘Tis not the first time his actions hath intrigued me.”

Umbra stared into the Universe before him, switching from the incredibly disorientating ‘Code Vision’ to ‘Normal Vision’, “..... Gilgamesh, eh? Eh, I guess the bloke’s alright. Bit of an idiot, but he’s got his heart in the right place.”

“Indeed. ‘Tis one of the reasons we hath taken interest in him. His antics are quite whimsical and foalish, and in truth I believe him to be quite hedonistic, and yet he takes great pains to aid others.”

“So? Not like we don’t got a billion other blokes just like that.”

“True, and yet… I hath done research on his past. Though by no means the harshest in terms of lifestyle it seems to have quite the devastating effect on his mentality. In truth, despite his knowledge and wisdom he still hath not matured, even before his departure from his universe. And yet, I see boundless potential in him. He could be a remarkable leader, but refuses and instead wishes to be a carefree spirit. It would seem he is trying to act as foalish as possible.”

“Well, I do suppose that the older one gets, the more childish they act at times…. But this guy…. Wow. I ain’t got nothin’ on the immaturity of this guy. And me, I’m pretty immature myself sometimes, as you have seen. Still, I suppose the best way to learn about someone is to meet them in person, so….. I’mma make a quick dive in. You keep watching, Sensei. This’ll be good.” And with that, Umbra flew backwards and took a sprinting leap into the bubble, executing a perfect swimmer’s dive, sinking into the Universe with nary a ripple on its surface.

Inside the Universe

Umbra fell. Umbra fell very quickly. And as he plummeted, he changed. Shifting from incorporeal, smoky shadow-mass to solid, but paler than Edward Cullen, human flesh, Umbra took on the form of one of his favorite disguises in a human form: The ‘Displaced’ known only as “Crow”.

As he fell, he flared his newly formed trenchcoat behind him with a metallic jingling, pulling a knife from its internal recesses and flinging it out with a message imprinted upon it.

And the knife disappeared in a flurry of pitch black feathers, he himself dissolving as well, only to reform in a tree far below.

“And now, we wait.”

Gilgamesh’s POV

Vinyl slammed down the cider mug and then folded her forehooves with a smile. “What did I tell ya!? Six mugs, sixty seconds! Top that!”

I smirked in response, the other ponies looking to me in anticipation, all wondering if the big warrior that smacked around the human girl who could shoot lighting had a liver to match.

“Easy peasy.”

I stood up and grabbed a whole barrel of AJ’s hard cider and lifted it above my head before punching a hole in the bottom. I then quickly began to guzzle the contents, making sure not to let a single drop spill, and emptied it in half the time. The room was quiet as everypony stared and I then pressed the barrel to my forehead until it broke.

“Top thAAAARP!” I tried to say before a burp cut me off.

“Whoa nelly! Ah don’t think even Big Mac coulda done that!” AJ exclaimed.

“The winner of the chug-a-lug is Gilgy!” Pinkie shouted, the partygoers cheering in response. “Second place is Vinyl!” More cheers. “And Jenny Eriman-”

All eyes turned to the teenaged girl who hiccupped as her head lay on the table, giggling as a half empty cup of cider rested next to her.

“-dead last.” The ponies lightly stomped their hooves in respect.

“Well, ‘scuse me for a second everypony,” I began before walking towards the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner. “Digestion is about to run its course.”

I found and then managed to squeeze my way into the bathroom to do my business. Just as I finished I turned around only for something to whiz by my face and implant itself in the wall.

“WHOA! What the hell?”

I took a closer look and found it to be a knife, one with a rather interesting description on it.

Is this a Displaced token?

I pulled it out of the wall, considering my options, before shrugging.

Hey, might as well find out.

“Uh… Crow, you are being addressed by the Mighty Gilgamesh. Wanna chat?”

Wow, and I thought I got too much into character.

I took a look at the knife, ready to throw it, before giving a quick look at the toilet. I then looked back to the blade.

Should I?... Nah, I don’t feel like being a dick right now.

I tossed the blade at the floor a good two yards from me.

And with a flurry of feathers and a whirling buzzsaw of flashing steel, a human appeared, clad in a black trench coat and a black, bird themed mask.

“And here I thought I said throw the knife at your enemy. So, what’d the ground do to you to make you summon me here to shred its pitiful dirt into dust for?”

I just stared for a moment. “Jeez, maybe it wasn’t such a great idea to call you. I was just trying to get to know a fellow Displaced that I hadn’t even heard of before. You know, hopes, dreams, methods, that sort of thing.”

“..... I can respect that. Well, since there’s nothing here for me to kill–,” The new Displaced removed his mask, revealing a pair of startlingly green eyes, “– I guess I could hang out for a while. So, who are you and where am I? …. and is there any place I can go to get birdseed?”

I was about to answer before I stopped to process that last bit. “Uh, well, I suppose I could go to Fluttershy and ask for something. As for me, I, good sir, am the Mighty Gilgamesh! Defeater of armies, gods, and demons alike! Dragons cower at the mere mention of my name! ‘Tis I who traverses the multiverse to smite evil!... And do whatever else I want to have fun.”

The Displaced stared, “.....I found this tumbleweed…. I think I should let this roll around….”

“Oh yeah, he comes and goes.”

“Well, I’m Crow. Uh… I kill things when I’m called. Like dragons, manticores, demons, hydras, mob bosses, ninja warlords, heroes, villains, nutjobs, mad scientists….. I think I’ve killed just about one of everything, really.”

“Unless you mean ‘fallen heroes’ I’m not entirely sure we’re going to get along,” I replied, a spark of anger rising in me. “I especially don’t like those who think of killing the same way one thinks of ordering takeout.”

“Well, yes fallen heroes, why else would I kill them? I’m a Lawful Evil aligned assassin, not a psychopath. I just prefer not to inject emotions into my list of kills. Now, if I did inject a little emotion, well, I deeply regret a great number of those kills. But I’m not sorry for them. Well, I guess that was a shitty introduction. Lemme start over.” He unsheathed a longsword from who-knows-where and planted it into the ground,

“I am Crow Murder, servant of the highest crown of the land. I am he who works in the shadows to ensure the light stays safe. I am the silent assassin with over six million kills to my name. I am Crow Murder, and I serve my mistress, Queen Sparkle, until my dying breath.”
I suppressed a growl, processing what he said.

‘Lawful Evil?’ “Queen Sparkle?’ I may have to pay this universe a visit in the future and-

I shook my head.

No. You can’t try and fix the whole damn multiverse. Even Auric probably wouldn’t be able to do that.

“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t get along with anyone who has an evil alignment. The only reasons I haven’t punched you through a wall right now is because there’s a party going on right now and I don’t want to disturb it, and that if nothing else you seem to have standards. I’m afraid calling you here may have been a waste of both our times.”

“Hmph. Tried to get the Queen to change my official alignment, but nooooooo, she just had to read the D&D 3.5 Dungeon Master’s manual and say that an assassin couldn’t be Chaotic Good. As if Discord is any better in that slot.” He crossed his arms and muttered to himself, then continued, “Ugh. Fuck all. I was hoping to have a decent chat, but whatever. Is there any trouble on this planet, or is this a mostly peaceful Equestria like so many others are? Because if it’s a peaceful one, I’m going to need a lot of alcohol to deal with this. Haven’t had a good conversation in years with anyone other than the Queen… and with all due respect to the crown, she’s about as dry as the Encyclopedia Britannica.”

“Wait, your alignment is a title?” I asked. “Um… I think I may have made some faulty assumptions.”

“Most people do. It’s fine. Our system is really odd anyways. We have true alignments and occupational alignments, and sometimes those conflict. My true alignment is Chaotic Good. Which is exactly why I’m a heroic assassin….. and yes, that does mean I will give money to a hobo on the street.”

I chuckled a bit. “I see. I guess I’d also fall into the Chaotic Good category myself, though in the past I guess I was more a Chaotic Neutral. And I’m a bit confused on how Twilight Sparkle is queen where you’re from. Also, I may have assumed she was evil with that title as well. I guess that’s the storybook bias for ya.”

“Queen Sparkle is as good a queen as one can get, methinks. Fair and just, but not above a little bit of manipulation and assassination if it’ll keep the country safe and happy. And also ridiculously, ludicrously powerful. Ah…. you heard of a demon named Tirek?”

“Afraid I haven’t.”

“Hmm, then spoilers. Well, suffice to say, as with all things involving the Elements, there are rainbows at his defeat normally. Ah…. I threw off the timeline a lot when I arrived by killing him. Shit happened. I’ll tell you later. He probably won’t be much of a challenge to you as long as you go straight for the kill and don’t fuck around too much.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. So, if she’s queen, where are the Princesses? Don’t tell me they’re-”

“Alive. Mostly happy too. Remember when I said that shit happened? Yeah. My arrival directly ties into the ascension of the Queen…. and the Princesses are just kinda living the rest of their immortal lives somewhere in the palace. I don’t see them much. I’m usually only in the palace for a few hours at most, even if her Majesty tries to force me to stay in my barracks and relax. Tch. I can relax when I’m dead and dust on the wind. Or if I’m not in my home Universe.”

“Well, I guess that’s good to hear. I couldn’t imagine an Equestria without those three as Twilight. And I’ll admit to wanting an exciting life as well, but you’ve got to appreciate the lulls too. Sometimes there just isn’t something goin’ on.”

Crow stretched and looked around, “..... Are we in a bathroom?”

“Yeah, sorry. I had to do my business and I didn’t want to disturb everypony else. These ponies are slightly more panicky in this realm than in a lot of the others. I don’t think they’d react well to you. Unless, I don’t know, you came dressed in a clown outfit or something.”

“I don’t do clown outfits unless it’s Scootaloo’s birthday, and only then because they scare the crap outta her and Regent Dash always makes me do it.”

“‘Regent Dash’? Ok, wow, your Equestria is different. I mean, I already knew that, but I didn’t think Rainbow Dash of all ponies would be given a political office. And I guess that includes the rest of the Elements. Oh man I can just picture Regent Fluttershy. ‘Um, today I decree that it will be Animal Appreciation day! Um, if that’s alright.’”

“That almost happened, but got shot down. I think they’re still debating over it right now…”

I was about to continue when a voice came from outside.

“HEY GILGY, DID YOU FALL IN!? RAINBOW WANTS TO CHALLENGE YOU TO A HOOF-WRESTLING MATCH!”

“GIVE ME A SEC, PINKIE!” I called back. “Hey listen, I gotta go. I appreciate meeting you. Someone to tell me how crazy things can get out there.”

“What, you gotta go now? Can… can I meet your friends? I haven’t really had any real ones in a while…. mostly since I just slaughter evil things and leave when I’m summoned.”

I winced at that. I felt pretty bad, but...

“Sorry, I think there’s enough to deal with right now. A lot of crazy and deadly stuff is happening in this world, and I’m only staying here long enough to convey a message. But I’ll tell you what.” I extended my hand and created one of my medallions. “Here’s my token. Just give me a call and I promise I’ll do what I can to make some time for you. I’ll even introduce you to some of my friends back in my home dimension. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done it.”

Though it would only be the second.

“Tss. Well, I guess that’s fine. Keep the knife though, it’ll help…. maybe. Never know when you might need a random throwing knife.”

“Or an assassin, though honestly I hope I don’t. I’d really like to just hang with people, or better yet have a sparring match with them. Well, take care Mr. Murder.”

“I’ll take you up on that spar later… haven’t really had much of a chance to practice my fighting skills lately. Just the assassin ones.”

And with that, he vanished into a flurry of feathers and glimmering steel, the echoes of a murder of crows sounding faintly in the background.

Well, that was thing. I thought as I left the bathroom.

“Ok, Dash, prepare to be crushed by my mighty arms!”

Far away, in a cave in the Everfree

Crow materialized in his signature flash of feathers and steel, and promptly faded back into Umbra Shadow-Walker.

“Well then, that was interesting…. though I do wish I could have gotten to know him further.”

Umbra grinned, already excited by future prospects of shenanigans. As he prepared a portal out of the Universe, he didn’t notice a small rock in his path, and being the clumsy idiot he sometimes is, he promptly tripped forward and launched the portal over the horizon directly at Ponyville.

“.....Aaaahhh shit.”

And we all know how that turned out. Bye Gilgy, say hi to Ben for Umbra!

Author's Notes:

So... I finally got that crossover with shinigamisparda's The Mighty Warrior of Epicness.... And I love that. But there wasn't much we could actually do, so I did this.

And now we know how Gilgy got to Ben