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Griffon the Heave-ho

by CrowMagnon

Chapter 24: Part 24 - Declaration of War

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Griffon the Heave-ho
by CrowMagnon

Gunther carefully inspected the Knights under his command. Each of them were standing proudly at attention, clad in full armor and awaiting the Knight-Commander's next orders. Eventually, he took his position in front of the line and proclaimed, "Yesterday, the Griffon Empire sought to make fools of us. Their aim was to weaken our hearts and our spines. Today, we shall show them that the fruits of such labors are dead and shriveled. Behind the Emperor and his entourage stand millions of our kind, but today we show them that whether it is ten-thousand Snowheart griffons, or merely ten, or even just one last griffon standing against an unstoppable tide, we shall never forsake our clansmen. That is our honor. It is the vow that we made to our queen and to each other when we took up our knighthood."

Gunther's head slowly panned from side to side before he continued. "They think that we are less than they are. That our loyalty to our former queen means that we are not 'true' griffons. Today, we prove them wrong! Do you stand with me?"

In unison, the gathered knights shouted, "Yes, Knight-Commander!"

"Do you stand with Gertrude Snowheart?"

"Yes, Knight-Commander!"

"And why do we stand with her?"

"Because if we don't, she'll stand alone!"

Gunther nodded once. "Then be prepared to act on my signal. Today, we claim our place in this world! Dismissed!"

As the knights dispersed to take their positions, Rainbow Dash walked up to Gunther. "Nice speech there. You sure you aren't the Element of Loyalty?"

Gunther chuckled at that. "No, but I greatly admired the one who was. And as the Sun Dog did when he took a stand against his oppressors, so too shall we stand against even the most invincible of adversaries. I thank you for taking the time to tell us what we should expect from the Empire."

"Yeah, well... Gilda's the only griffon I really know, but what I learned from her back when we were kids should cover the basic tactics. You sure you guys don't need more time to train, though?"

Gunther shook his snow-white head at that, and grinned down at the colorful pegasus. "Wars are won by strategy and preparation, but battles are quick, brutal, messy things. Never fear, though. Though we knights are few in number, we have the entirety of the clan standing behind us, while their Empire is far away. It is the strength that they give us and our will to win that shall determine the course of this day."

Dash grinned at that. "Now there's some of that good old griffon pride I remember. You knock 'em dead!"

Gunther nodded resolutely. "Indeed... But first, I must meet a pony."

Dash nodded, and turned to walk away. "Yeah. I've got somegriffon to check up on, myself."

-----

Princess Celestia furrowed her brow with concern as she walked alongside her friend. "Gertrude, I am sorry about yesterday's events. The correspondences between the Emperor and myself leading up to these talks... Grigori led me to believe that he wanted to work in good faith with us. While I knew him to be a natural-born politician, I never imagined that he would lie so brazenly in order to set a trap for you. Even with what Cadance told me, I..."

"Rest easy, Celestia," Gertrude replied with a gentle smile. "I'll admit that I was taken by surprise, but we Snowhearts are nothing if not resilient."

That smile took on a mischievous quirk as she cheerfully strode ahead and added, "I just hope that you don't mind me taking a few liberties with the negotiations from this point on."

Celestia raised an eyebrow at that, but before she could ask for elaboration, she saw her adopted niece coming toward them with a bounce in her gait.

"Hi, auntie! Gertrude, it's good to see you, too. Your grandson told me and Shining that you're doing much better." Craning her neck to look around Gertrude, however, Cadance furrowed her brow slightly. "It was strange, though. I didn't peg him as the sort of griffon who'd be interested in hobnobbing with the upper class. Especially now, when I'd expect him to be here with you. Isn't he coming?"

Celestia's eyes widened in surprise at that. "Gunther? Hobnobbing? Back in his day, the 'upper class' was whoever wore the strongest armor. Why would he--?"

Cadance shrugged to her adopted aunt in shared confusion. "I don't know, he wouldn't say. I'm sorry, he caught me before I'd completely woken up, so I just told him where he'd probably find Fancypants at this time of day. Can you tell us what this is all about, Ms. Gertrude?"

At that, Gertrude gave the alicorns an enigmatic smile. "Oh, we'll be seeing him soon enough. Ah, your Eminence! So good to see you again," she chirped as Grigori and his entourage came into view. She also spared a nod to Gustav and Snaketail, who were rather conspicuously keeping to opposite sides of the hallway with their emperor standing between them with a seemingly oblivious grin on his jolly face. "General. Senator. I believe that we will be making a great deal of progress today."

Blithely ignoring the caustic glares from his companions at this comment, Grigori pulled off his glasses and took a moment to polish the lenses. "Well, then I look forward to seeing what you bring to the table. Shall we go inside?"

"No, I don't think so," Gertrude casually replied, catching the alicorns at her side by surprise. Drawing herself up to her full regal height, the griffoness told the Imperials, "After all, I am no longer queen. Therefore, it is not my place to unilaterally decide the fate of an entire clan in some closed room. If you wish to make your case, then you are welcome to join me in our encampment so that we can debate the matter publicly."

General Airstrike scoffed. "And what makes you think that you can dictate terms to us? You would be wise to--"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Grigori cheerfully interrupted. "It's been too long since I had the opportunity for some grass-roots politics with my fellow griffons, and I think the morning air would be quite refreshing."

While the general sputtered, turning a frustrated glare toward his emperor, Senator Snaketail smirked at him and added, "I concur. If the freaks want to join our Empire, then they should know exactly what to expect."

Celestia and Cadance looked to each other from behind Gertrude during this exchange. When the younger alicorn shrugged in confusion, Celestia took a deep breath and decided, "Very well. Since the Emperor and Gertrude are in agreement, we'll reconvene at the Snowheart camp in fifteen minutes."

"Well I'm not agreeing to this," Gustav snapped, pointing a talon at the senator. "We all know that she is going to use this as an opportunity to rile a mob. If we take these talks public, there could be a riot!"

"Then by all means, general, bring your soldiers with you for security," Gertrude casually replied. "Whether to protect you from my people, or my people from the senator, whichever you prefer. You won't need them, but the more the merrier."

With that, the snow-white griffoness bowed in respect toward the imperials and turned to leave. As soon as she had turned the corner and gone out of sight, her keen hearing picked up the general's voice asking, "Is this what you wanted the whole time, Grigori? Or have you gone over to Snaketail's side?"

"Well, I suppose we'll find out. Don't tell me that you're afraid of a little lively debate, Gustav? Back home, they still tell the tale of when you challenged the high school argument team after downing six pints of--"

So you've really decided to go through with this. But will it lead to what you want for your people? That's the question, mused a voice close to Gertrude's heart.

Her response was merely a smile as she stepped out onto a terrace and spread her wings to glide back down to her people.

-----

"Armor up, you mangy feather dusters! General Airstrike wants you suited up to escort His Eminence to the freaks' camp, and he wants it done five minutes ago!"

Gilda groaned, her body feeling even more sore than it had the day before. Her muscles just didn't want to do what they were told, but she gave it everything she had to push herself out of her cot and keep her legs under her. An effort that failed miserably when her superior's voice shouted right into her ear, "Not you, Buckbeak!"

Startled and sent off balance, Gilda lost her footing and felt herself tumble to the floor. Looking up, she groaned, "Gah! What gives?!"

"What 'gives', is you skipped out on your punishment and went AWOL," the officer replied, leaning over her with a sneer. "The general might be fine playing along with His Eminence, but don't think I'm gonna be so nice just 'cause you're a relative of the Emperor's! Every griffon carries their own weight, Buckbeak, and as soon as we get back to the Empire, you'll be scrubbing latrines for the next two months. Without a brush!"

Gilda felt a growl forming in the back of her throat, and only barely swallowed it back before she told him what she would do with a brush, given the opportunity. Instead, she snarled, "I did every single lap... Every. Single. One. You'd know that if you'd done your job and stuck around to watch instead of flapping off with your poker buddies, so don't just assume I'm as lame as you are!"

Her superior's eyes widened, turning bloodshot as his feathers puffed up in anger. "Like I'm supposed to believe that! Who do you think you are? One of the Stormriders? You're just a loudmouth who ducks out of her punishment to go have prissy little tea parties with ponies and Winterborn, then tries to hide behind her family's connections! But this is the Empire, Buckbeak, and who you're related to doesn't mean squat!"

"Sure seems to matter to you, dork..." she muttered, but no matter how much she wanted to fight with the officer, going any further would have sparked a struggle for dominance that her body simply wasn't able to handle after everything she'd put it through the day before. Instead, as much as she wanted to do anything else, Gilda hung her head to signify that she was giving up the fight.

When her superior saw her back down, he smirked down at her and turned around to address the rest of the soldiers who were now in their armor. "Form up and move out!"

Before long, Gilda was left alone. A few of her fellow soldiers actually cast sympathetic glances her way, but she didn't pay any attention. Instead, she pulled herself back into her cot in order to rest her aching body while muttering increasingly colorful expletives.

Even this could only keep her mind distracted for a while, though, and when the quiet began to seep in like a cold draft, so did more introspective thoughts.

What am I even doing here? I got what I wanted... kinda.

Despite everything else, the memory of trading blows with Dash brought a smile to her beak. As much as she hated the fatigue from her 'punishment', every bruise her friend had given her was a gift. Something to remind her of what a strong mare her old friend had grown up to become.

Strong enough to find another dream. What'd I do? Just lay around, thinking about how to get her to kill the "me" that hurt her. That was the plan, right? Then we'd both get on with our lives... except she went and started up a whole new life years ago without getting stuck in that whiny 'woe is me, my life is so lame' garbage.

So, now what...? she asked herself as she stared up at the ceiling. It was supposed to be over after I met Dash. I was supposed to get back on track, but I don't feel like I am.

"I feel like I'm stuck in a story that doesn't know how it's supposed to end..." she muttered.

Gilda then blinked a few times as she heard her own words and started retching over the side of the bed. "Ugh! Lame! That sounded like something that Gothick dweeb down the street would say!"

In the midst of her griping, she caught the sound of snickering from the doorway. "That was pretty bad, G. You want me to pick up some black eyeliner for you?"

Gilda's head immediately snapped toward the door. "Dash?! What're you doing here?"

Rainbow Dash grinned as she walked over and rhymed, "Just happened to be in town to help out some friends, and wanted to check in on you before your visit ends." Upon reaching Gilda's bedside, she asked, "So, are you okay? I hoped you'd be feeling better after yesterday."

"What, this? Psssh, I hurt worse than this all through basic training," Gilda replied with a dismissive shrug, which only made her wince a little. After a brief pause, she asked, "Wouldn't have anything to do with why everygriffon else scrammed out of here, huh?"

Dash nodded with a grin on her face, then looked her friend over. "Speaking of, there's something I can't miss. You think you can come with? Trust me... you're gonna want in on this."

Gilda scoffed. "I feel like a chimera's scratching post, my superior had it in for me even before my little side-trip to Dweebville, and you want me to drag myself to who-knows-where for who-knows-why, where I'll probably just mess things up and make even more trouble."

Dash's ears flattened somewhat as she mulled it over. "Well, when you put it like that..."

"Dude, stop. Of course I'm in," Gilda interrupted, shoving Dash aside so that she could push herself out of the cot. Once her paws were on the floor again, she hobbled a few steps toward the door before stopping to looked back over her shoulder. "I wasted years of my life working out how to get you to kill our friendship. Instead, you killed the idiot who wanted you to. Whatever it is, I'm with you, Dash, so just tell me what you need me to do."

Dash's ears perked up again, her grin widening as she joined her friend. "Well, for starters... you could tell me when you picked up that sweet ice magic while we walk."

-----

As the princesses rode their sky chariots down to the base of the mountain, Celestia looked down at the gathering that had already formed in the Snowhearts' camp. Gertrude and Gunther were easy to pick out by their white plumage, grandmother and grandson standing between their people and the thundersteel-clad Imperial Guard who were backing the Emperor and his entourage.

Representing an unexpected third group was a colorful herd of her little ponies who were standing off to the side and watching the two griffon factions with a wary nervousness. Even from such a distance, Celestia could hear discontented muttering reaching her ears, but nopony dared leave... or rather, nopony dared letting anypony else see them leave so long as the stallion in the center remained present.

"Set us down by the ponies, please," she said to the guards pulling her chariot, and they immediately adjusted their course to do so. It helped that, upon seeing her impending arrival, everypony immediately cleared out a patch of ground in the middle of the herd for herself and Cadance before bowing.

Once the chariots landed, Celestia stepped off and walked between the prostrate ponies. Nodding in gratitude to them, she continued for a few steps until reaching a certain stallion. "Hello, Fancypants. Would you be a dear and please explain what this is all about?"

So prompted, Fancypants stood back up to his full height. As was their nature, the rest of the society ponies surrounding them followed his lead. "Of course, Princess. I had just finished a lovely breakfast this morning when master Gunther arrived to tell me that the Snowhearts will be moving on, soon, and that there would be some sort of performance to express their gratitude for Canterlot's hospitality. I'm afraid he was rather sparse on the details, but I couldn't possibly say no."

Celestia smiled at that, but her brow furrowed ever so slightly. "I see." Turning her body to face the griffons as Gertrude and Emperor Buckbeak approached one another, she wryly muttered, "Well... let's see what my dear friends are planning..."

-----

As casually as if they were meeting over afternoon tea, Gertrude stepped forward to greet the Imperial retinue. When she and the Emperor were within a few feet of each other, her eyes and Grigori's met, holding each other's gaze.

"Your companions seem rather nervous, Your Eminence. Did you not tell them why we're here?"

Grigori grinned and waved it off. "And ruin the surprise? Perish the thought! Besides, Gustav here works best under pressure, isn't that right?"

"I have to with you in charge. What the hail are you up to, here?"

"The same as always, looking out for the Empire's best interests. Now, Ms. Snowheart, would you care to lay out your terms?"

Gertrude smiled and nodded once. "I have also been thinking about the best interests of my people. And, to be honest, if the Snowheart clan had nowhere else to go, then I would happily give up my status as a living being to see them integrate into the Empire and share in the prosperity of your nation."

Gunther's smile was more of a confident smirk as he added, "But that is far from our only option. We've been away for quite a long time, so we had a great deal of history to catch up on, but it's come to our attention that the region of the northern mountains that once belonged to the Crystal Empire are currently vacant."

General Airstrike scoffed in disbelief. "What? You must be joking! The northern mountains are completely uninhabitable!"

"Hardly, General," Gertrude replied with the gentle tone of a schoolteacher correcting a child. "You forget that we are Snowhearts. We were born of the Winter long before my ascension, and the memories of surviving such unforgiving climates are still very fresh to us. Still, it may be that the Empire will be slightly more accommodating than the frozen north, so I propose that we determine the best course of action with a public contest."

Senator Snaketail narrowed her eyes and asked, "What sort of contest?"

Gunther's smirk widened as he drew himself up and raised a talon. "Knights! Present arms!"

In an instant, the temperature in the area dropped several degrees as a line of Snowheart knights summoned their armor and spears. The thundersteel-armed Imperial soldiers squawked and looked ready to fight, forcing General Airstrike to frantically shout, "Stand down! Flaming tornadoes, stand down!"

Undeterred by the reaction of their Imperial brethren, Gunther calmly commanded, "Knights! Provide us with a rhythm!"

On command, the knights began to bring the butt-ends of their spears down against the ground in a simple, but coordinated beat.

While the pounding rhythm echoed throughout the area, Gertrude turned to address the ponies in attendance. "My friends, I thank you all for coming! The ponies of Canterlot have made us feel very welcome, but the time has come for us to move on! Before we go, however, we would like to share with you a piece of our culture. A friendly duel of rapier poetry!"

There was some stomping of applause from the ponies, some genuinely intrigued while others seemed rather confused. Gertrude looked to Celestia and smiled, silently asking for her friend's trust. The aged princess seemed unsure, but after taking a deep breath, she gave a single nod.

Gertrude beamed, then turned back to Grigori and his entourage. Under the cover of the beat provided by her knights, she said, "Here is how I propose we handle this. Each side will have three rounds to make their case. Afterwards, we will call upon the audience to declare the victors. If you win, then the Snowheart clan will become Imperial citizens under whatever terms you decide. If we win, then we will depart for the frozen north, where you will never find us. Are these terms acceptable?"

Senator Snaketail arched an eyebrow. "Haven't you rigged the judging pool? The ponies will just go whichever way their princess says."

Gunther replied, "Most of those ponies there have business connections in the Empire. Stuck between offending Princess Celestia and losing their profits, they're as close to impartial as I could find."

Gustav turned to stare at Grigori after hearing this, and when the Emperor looked back at him with a cheeky grin, the general chuckled under his breath. "I can't believe this. Alright, kid... I'm in."

Snaketail nodded with a calculating look on her face. "Me too."

With a jolly laugh, Grigori replied, "It sounds like we have an agreement! By all means, let's get this show started."

Author's Notes:

Griffons don't have debate teams, they have argument teams. Instead of discouraging ad hominem attacks, they refine insults into an art form. Naturally, this translates into rapier battles as well.

Next Chapter: Part 25 - Epic Rapier Battle of History, Round 1 Estimated time remaining: 9 Minutes
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