Four days had passed since Spike went back to living with Twilight, and the whole place already feels a little empty without him around. By the time I finished relinquishing guardianship back to her, I figured that now would be a great time to ask her about adding a guest room to the house. To show her gratitude, Twilight, along with her friends, went out of their way to contact a construction crew to come in and build an additional room in our house.

I was now standing inside the now fully built guest room. It stood across from our rooms, and it's as long as all three of them put together. It consisted of a large twin size bed, an oval shaped rug colored with violet and heliotrope patterns, a plump green bag on top of the rug, and a small empty bookshelf next to the bed. I kept the furnishing to a bare minimum mainly because Spike would no doubt want to fill it up with things that he'd like if he ever has second thoughts and decides to live with us again.

After staying in the new addition to the house long enough, I made my way down the stairs when the sound of the door slamming shut caused me to look up in a snap and see Andrew and Jonathan standing before it. "Were you two talking to someone?" I asked.

"It was only Pinkie Pie giving us a singing telegram about her pet crocodile's birthday party." Andrew clarified.

"Andrew and I are gonna go and maybe try confessing our feelings to Twilight and Applejack. You wanna come with us? I bet Fluttershy will be there."

"Nah, you two can go on without me," I politely declined Jonathan's offer as I flipped the TV on. "Besides, you know I hate birthday parties."

"I hope you can think up a good excuse to tell Pinkie Pie," said Andrew.

"Don't worry, I already have."

The following day, I wasted no time in paying a visit to Sugarcube Corner. After greeting Mrs. Cake, I made my way up the stairs which led me to Pinkie Pie's room, where I found the pink party pony herself lying on the floor with Gummy nearby. "Hey Pinkie, I came to tell you that I was planning on coming to the party yesterday; but then I took an arrow to the knee, so I had to stay home and let it heal. You understand, right?" upon receiving nothing but silence, it quickly dawned on me that Pinkie Pie is not even aware of my presence. "Hello! Can you hear me?"

Waving my hand in front of her was enough to get the party pony back into reality. "Oh, sorry Jeffrie. It's just that I invited all of my friends to attend Gummy's after party and they're all too busy to come."

"Sounds like they got their hooves full." Not hearing a single peep out of Pinkie's muzzle, I was mildly surprised to see that she quickly moved straight to the window with the cartoon like reflexes that only she can be capable of. "You see something?"

"It's Twilight," she said, "she told me that she had to study, but she's stepping inside all sneaky like."

"Maybe I should go down and see what she's up to." True to my word, I crept down the stairs and stopped halfway so as to not give away my position to Twilight. Letting the whole place echo with the call bell, Mrs. Cake stepped and said, "Ooh! You must be here for..."

The purple unicorn quickly silenced the plump light blue mare before she could finish her sentence. "Is Pinkie Pie around?"

"Oh, I don't think so."

"Good. I don't want her to know anything about this."

"Yes, of course. I'll be right back."

While Mrs. Cake went back in the kitchen, that's when I finally took notice of the red tin can which was hanging right in front of Twilight by a string. It didn't take too long for Mrs. Cake to return while handing over a box to Twilight--possibly containing a cake no doubt. Just as she was about to take her leave, Twilight finally detected the idly hanging tin can which she gave a tug for a closer examination, only to result in it being violently pulled back so hard that the string snapped and made the can go straight into her muzzle! Once the can slid out and gave Twilight's muzzle a goofy looking appearance, I allowed my cover to be blown just to satisfy my need of laughter.

"Hey Twilight, why a long face?!"

"Hello Jeffrie," Twilight let out an annoyed sigh as she made her exit with the box.

With that out of the way, I returned to Pinkie Pie and shared the whole ordeal with her. "So what happened?" she inquired.

"Mrs. Cake gave Twilight a box, and it seems that they're determined to keep this a secret from you."

"What could they possibly not want me to know about?"

"Perhaps the girls have found some buried treasure and sent Twilight to get a cake so they can celebrate without you."

"That does sound like a possibility. But why would they want to exclude me? I'm their friend, aren't I?"

"If you're so curious you can always just follow Twilight and see what she and the others are up to."

My little suggestion was all it took to make Pinkie let out a giddy squeal. "Jeffrie, you're a genius!"

"Thanks for reminding me what I already know."

"You're welcome. Now come on, we've got some spying to do."

As the two of us trailed behind Twilight Sparkle (with the song "Secret Agent Man" playing in my head), we watched as the purple unicorn sneaked all over Ponyville until passing the box to Rarity, who then proceeded to creep along and only stopped to exchange the box to Fluttershy, all the while we heard each of them say some pretty questionable things concerning Pinkie Pie that would no doubt confirm her suspicions. Throughout all of this, Pinkie would put on disguise, after disguise, after disguise, until she made herself look like a bale of hay wearing a grey coat, a baseball cap, and some funny glasses; but even that didn't prevent Rainbow Dash of all ponies from recognizing her. And no sooner did she spot the pink pony did the blue pegasus shot off like a bullet. And just as fast as Rainbow Dash flew off did I notice that Pinkie Pie just flat out vanished from my sight! I just stood there all confused until an orange portal appeared on a nearby wall and I saw Pinkie Pie pop out with a real portal gun in her hoof!

"Come on, Jeffrie, we gotta get moving!"

Aiming the gun in a random angle, Pinkie fired a blue portal up to the sky and pulled me in with her until we both jumped out and landed on the top of a mountain. Standing around and doing absolutely nothing at the moment, I decided to go ahead and address the obvious elephant in the room.

"Where did you get that portal gun?"

"I don't know." Said Pinkie. "I just stumbled upon it one day and have been using it to jump from one location to another ever since--though I'm still trying to find the cake that's suppose to come with it."

"So this is how you manage to go places so quickly?"

"Well duh! How else did you think I did it? With magic?" her Pinkie Sense, must've been tingling, because she immediately held her hoof out and pulled up a surprised Rainbow Dash; and that's when she took notice of the saddlebags on the blue pegasus' back. "What's in those bags?!"

The second Rainbow Dash tried to escape, instead of having us jump through another portal, Pinkie made me clutch her tail as she ran after her pegasus friend with the speed of The Flash, until we saw her and Applejack hide inside a barn in Sweet Apple Acres. Coming to a complete halt which caused my shoes to have some smoke on them, Pinkie used her head as a knocker until Applejack poked her head out the door.

"Oh, howdy partner!"

"Mind if I...take a look inside the barn?"

"No! Uh, I mean, yes, I mean...you can't come in here!"

"Rainbow Dash just went in there."

"Oh, well, she was just bringin' in some...supplies! Yup, supplies fer the...renovation! Fixin' up the whole thing, top to bottom...uh," that's when the cowgirl turned back to address whoever was inside, "lots of construction' goin' on in there right now."

That's when I picked up the hushed voice of Rainbow Dash. "You heard her! Construction!" what followed next was a series of laughably bad construction tool imitations.

Pinkie and I weren't buying any of this, of course, but Applejack was pretty adamant on keeping either of us from digging deeper that she downright almost crush Pinkie's face with the door. "Yup! Construction! That's my story, and I'm stickin' ta it!"

Hearing her uneasy laugh, seeing her nervous smile as well as all the sweat that's sliding down her face, I didn't hesitate the slightest to call her out. "She's lying, Pinkie. I mean look at her; the nervous smile, the downpour of sweat, even that gulp she just made makes it pretty obvious."

"Me, lie? Don't be ridiculous, I never lie."

"Good, then you can tell us what's really going on back there. You are the Element of Honesty after all."

"I already told y'all what we're doin'."

Knowing that she'll never willingly fess up, I figured that I just might be able trick the truth out of her be resorting to another Jedi mind trick. "You want to tell us what's really going on in there."

"No, I don't."

"So you admit that you're not really doing any construction in there!"

Applejack found herself completely off guard when she heard my conclusion. "Well, uh...no, I mean yes, but no, I...!"

Satisfied enough to see Applejack's frantic reaction, I decided to feign fatigue as I said to the suspicious party pony, "Boy Pinkie, I'm feeling a little beat. Why don't we head back to Sugarcube Corner and take a break?"

Keeping her suspicious gaze locked onto the cowgirl, Pinkie said, "Okey...dokey...lokey."

As soon as we got far away from Sweet Apple Acres, Pinkie and I stopped in the center of the town before I said, "I guess we can rule out expecting them to be straight forward with us. Whatever it is they're doing they certainly don't want you to know about it."

"Oh, I'm gonna know about it!" Pinkie declared. "I'm gonna know about it big time! And I know just who's gonna tell me all about it. Tell me all about it big time!"

Boy, who would've thought that feeling left out is all it took to make Pinkie be redundant in her sentences? I thought to myself while watching the pink pony gallop in the direction of Twilight's place.

"Wow! Nice spread!" Spike marveled at the plate of gems that are placed in front of him.

"It's all yours, Spike." Without any warning Pinkie pulls in a lamp and has Gummy bite down on Spike's tail, forcing the kid to sit down while being blinded by a bright light. "All you have to do is talk." And talk he did, only not in the way she was expecting. Spike prattle on about nothing in particular as his claws were inching themselves closer to the gems, only to be stopped by an interrogative Pinkie. "No, no, no. Talk about our friends." Much like the last time, Spike doesn't exactly give her specific details and instead settled on giving her brief biographies of each of her friends, which only fed the flames that were building up in the pink pony. "Grr! No! You're not understanding me! I want you to confess!"

"Confess?"

"Confess!"

With the look of a frightened puppy, Spike made his confession. "I'm the one who spilled juice all over Twilight's copy of Magical Mysteries and Practical Potions!"

"And?"

"And I'm the one who used up all the hot water in Ponyville yesterday when I took a seven-hour bubble bath!"

"Aaand?"

"And sometimes... when no one's around... I do this." That's when the kid pulled a mirror from out of nowhere and started flexing in front of it. "Lookin' good, Spike! Lookin' real good!" the dumbfounded expression on Pinkie Pie's face was priceless, only her agitation didn't allow it to last longer and made her shove the mirror aside.

"Take it easy, Pinkie," I spoke up, "you're scaring him. He probably doesn't even know anything."

"Know what?" said Spike. "What does she want to hear?"

"She's noticed that Twilight and the others are keeping some kind of secret from her, and she thinks you might know what's going on."

"Twilight never mentioned any secret to me." Spike gave his honest answer. "She just had me pick up a bunch of books lying around and then left."

"Don't lie to me!" Pinkie hissed. "I know what they're up to, and you're not leaving until you tell me that my friends are all lying to me and avoiding me because they don't like my parties and they don't want to be my friends anymore!" not wanting to delve deeper into this dark new side of hers, the little dragon told her exactly what she wanted to hear. "Aha! I knew it!" this realization, however, caused her puffy mane to deflate like a balloon and turned her once bright coat of pink to a somber grayish tone. "Oh no, my friends don't like my parties and they don't want to be my friends anymore." The now heartbroken pony could nothing but mope while the relieved dragon gorged himself on the plate of gems.

"Thank you all so much for coming! It means so much to Gummy."

Through the past twenty minutes, Pinkie Pie went ahead and set up a big table with a large cake at the end where I'm sitting. Gummy sat across from me, and sitting on each opposite side were a bunch of inanimate objects which I'm guessing are suppose to take the place of Pinkie's friends; there was a bucket of turnips (Applejack), a pile of rocks (Rainbow Dash), a piece of lint (Rarity), and a bag of flour (Fluttershy). There didn't seem to be one which represented Twilight Sparkle, so I assumed that Pinkie Pie never really like her that much.

"Could I have some more punch?" she made the bucket of turnips speak with a dopey voice.

"Well, of course you can have some more punch, Mr. Turnip." Pinkie obliged her new friend's request before giving off an uncomfortable twitch in her eye.

"This is one great pahty! You really outdone yourself!" she gave the pile of rocks a stereotypical Brooklyn accent.

"Why, thank you, Rocky."

"I'm having a delightful time as well." She made the piece of lint speak with a fancy accent.

"I'm so glad, Sir Lintsalot."

"Might I trouble you for anozer slice of cake?" the party pony made the bag of flour request with the soft voice that's either German or Swedish.

"Anything for you, Madame le Flour."

"I'm just glad none o' them ponies showed up." Pinkie reached under the table to make the pile of rocks move and talk at the same time.

"Oh, they're not so bad."

Once she said that, I watched in horror as Pinkie Pie kept a creepy grin glued to her face while both her pupils shrunk slowly move away in a sign that shows that she's about to fall deeper into the pit of insanity that she dug up. The more she allowed these objects to plant seeds of doubt in her subconscious, the more she decided that she might be better off never talking with any of the ponies ever again; and throughout this mad episode, I just sat still and not dared to interrupt her--mostly in fear that she might snap to the point of hacking me with an axe and shouting "Here's Pinkie!" luckily, however, she was able to get out of her mad state long enough to take notice of the knocking door and a certain blue pegasus who stepped inside.

"Hey there, Pinkie Pie! Sorry I was in such a rush earlier. Had some place to be and couldn't slow down and say, "Hello." You know how it goes."

"I know how it goes, all right!" Pinkie replied through clenched teeth.

"Yeah... so, why don't you come with me over to Sweet Apple Acres?"

"No thanks. I'm spending time with my real friends. Isn't that right, Madame le Flour?"

Pinkie's eyes once again went apart as she made her flour bag's personality take hold. "Oui! Zat iz correct, madame."

Rainbow Dash did nothing but stand still as she allowed this unsettling atmosphere to slowly sink in before she heard me say, "Yeah, she's been keeping herself pretty occupied for some time."

"Aaallrighty." Rainbow Dash found the urge to speak once more. "What do you say we get on out of Creepytown and head over to Applejack's..."

"She's not going anywhere." The party pony pushed the bucket of turnips in front of the blue pegasus.

"I most certainly am not. I'm having a wonderful time right here."

"You should really just come with me."

"You heard the lady!" Pinkie made the pile of rocks talk. "She ain't goin' nowheres, chump!"

I then witnessed Rainbow Dash do the funniest thing I've seen today, and that's literally responding to a pile of rocks insult. "Who you calling a chump, chump?!"

She shoved her muzzle up to the hunk of rocks, which resulted in it crumbling to the floor, and I in turn fell flat to the floor on my back, laughing my ass off. "Did you seriously just talk to that pile of rocks?! Oh God, I don't even think Derpy would go this far!"

The only thing I received from the blue pegasus was a groan as she turned her attention back to Pinkie Pie. "That's it. Party's over. Come on, Pinkie Pie!"

"No!"

"Pinkie Pie, let's go!"

"I said no!"

At this point, Rainbow Dash butted her head against Pinkie's flank in attempt to get her moving. "You...have to...come with...me!"

"No...I...Don't!"

And that's when Pinkie raised her flank up which made the blue Pegasus lose her balance and positioned her face to squashed by Pinkie's butt! Pulling her head from out of it only resulted in Rainbow Dash crashing against the table and having a slice of cake fall on her head.

"Oh, you wanna do this the hard way?! We'll do this the hard way!"

Forty five minutes was how long it took for Rainbow Dash to drag Pinkie Pie all the way to Applejack's barn; luckily for her I chose to walk by myself instead of lying on Pinkie's back, otherwise it would've taken much longer. The moment we all stepped inside, we were all greeted with a combine shout of "Surprise!" from Pinkie's friends and mine.

It immediately dawned on me that the reason why these ponies were being so secretive was because they were merely setting up a surprise birthday party for Pinkie Pie. This realization caused me to remain stunned long enough for Pinkie to let out her frustration, hear her friend's lame ass excuse for avoiding her, and immediately revert back to her typical perky self. But before any of them could start enjoying themselves, my sanity felt like giving them a piece of my mind.

"THAT'S IT?! You mean to tell me that you were are being so secretive was just so you can let her birthday party come as a surprise?! You were all seriously going to risk losing your friendship with Pinkie over a lousy surprise party?! Gees, I was thinking that you all found buried treasure, or hiding a dead body; or at least creating a mutated monster! But no, you were all just throwing a stupid surprise party!"

"Well we had to, darling," Rarity insisted. "It just wouldn't be as fun if she already knew about it."

"Besides, it ain't like this scarred her in anyway." Applejack added.

"Didn't scar her?!" I exclaimed. "Then how the fuck do you explain her turning grey, and thinking that you all didn't want to be her friends anymore, and having a party with a bunch of inanimate objects?! You're seriously going to look me in the eye and tell me that nearly making into depression and insanity was worth it?!"

Everyone stood silent until Fluttershy said, "Um...would you be angry if we said yes?"

Since I didn't feel like losing my temper on her, I turned my attention to the guys. "And you two were in on it as well?!"

"Well we didn't exactly have anything to do," Andrew explained, "so we figured we lend a hand."

"What the Hell, Twilight?!" we all turned to the sound of a very pissed off Spike. "You were throwing a birthday party for Pinkie Pie and you didn't tell me?! Am I even invited?"

"Well of course you're invited, silly!" Pinkie Pie assured him.

"Actually, Pinkie, I think the library probably still needs some cleaning."

"Twilight," I said sternly while crossing my arms. "You promised that you weren't gonna leave Spike behind and have fun with your friends without him, remember?" Twilight didn't dare to push this further; she let her head sink down in shame as a sign of relenting. "All right, you all have fun, I'll see myself out."

"Don't you wanna stay and have fun?" Pinkie asked.

"No Pinkie, I'm afraid I already have my fill of insanity today. I don't really feel like cracking again."

The moment I was gone Jonathan pulled out his Ipod from his vest and said, "Anyone mind if I played a little music?"

"Go ahead, sugarcube." Applejack gave him permission.

Letting his fingers scroll down the list, Jonathan decided to settle with "I Want You Back." While the whole Mane 6 joined together in a Conga Line, Andrew tried joining in while Jonathan helped himself to a slice of cake and sat himself on a bale of hay. While he was eating, Spike stood in front of him while letting his body surrender itself to the music. The little dragon did a few pelvic thrust and started performing the hustle, until Jonathan quickly looked at the dragon while holding a piece of cake close to his face. Spike could feel his eyes gazing on him, and he--for some reason--couldn't help but remain still in a pose. Slowly turning his head slightly away from the kid, Jonathan let his eyes dart back to the cake while Spike continued to dance on.