The story starts at a familiar hack at night. The scene looks deliberately monochrome as the logo is shown.

"Sonic's Cars Toons: Mario's Tall Tales"

The usual horn honking is heard as the door fell once more Mario came out, looking noir like as he spoke like Edward G. Robinson, "If I'm-a lying, I'm-a crying, see?"

Mario Mario: Private Eye

It was afternoon in Ancient Springs. Sonic and Emerl drove their vehicles up to Daisy as the hedgehog spoke, "Morning, Daisy. All right if I can get some air? My tires are going flat."

Suddenly without warning, Mario jumps near the two friends, causing them to jump in alarm. Emerl yells out, "Gah! Hey, don't do that!"

"Oh, sorry. Did I-a save you two?" Mario ask his pals sheepishly.

"Yeah, you did." Sonic said with a sigh as Mario pulls out an Ipod to watch Blazing Scales. "So what do you want?"

"Flat-a Tires, you say? I-a believed I-a solved that crime."

"Wait, what?"

The clip shows Twilight giving out some papers to Spike. In concern, the unicorn spoke, "Sheriff, while you were - out - we got this writ demanding Big Mac's release."

"Really?" Spike ask as she looks at it. "Yeah. Signed by the Flim Flams themselves. Though why high rollers like the Flim Flam Brothers would be interested in Big Mac - no offense, Applejack."

"None taken, Sheriff." Applejack said, assuring Spike that no offense is given here.

"Anyway, why THEY would be interested in him is beyond me. Still," Splash then takes a bucket of water, comes over and splashes a chained up Big Mac, "wake up, big guy. I just got this writ demanding your release."

Big Mac manages to remove himself from his chains: as he yawns. The stallion spoke, "Nope. I'm staying here. You, Mister Maregillian and Miss Fluttershy beat me fair and square and your other deputies rescued my sisters. I have developed WAY too much respect AND gratitude to bail on you."

"I hope you don't plan on cheating on Miss Cheerilee, Mac." Applejack said to Big Macintosh, concerned for his relationship with Cheerilee.

"Heck no. I wouldn't do that, AJ."

As Big Macintosh sat down in a chair, stretching, Spike curiously spoke, "Well, could you give us a clue as to why the Flim Flams are interested in you. No offense intended."

"None taken. Anyway, I don't know. I know they gang I was forced to work for until recently worked for the railroad, but I don't know how the Flim Flams are involved." Big Macintosh said with a big frown on his face. "After all, I'm just a pawn in the game of life."

"Well, time for us to do some snooping. Twilight, you and I will head for the railroad workers camp. Pinkie and Rainbow, you two are the fastest among us. You two head for the state capitol and find out what you can over there. The rest of you keep the peace around here, just in case."

Mario, the one watching the clip, spoke, "You know. This clip is reminding me about my days as a detective."

"You, a private eye?" Emerl ask Mario in surprise, not realizing what he was on about earlier.

"No way!" Sonic exclaims in disbelief.

"Yes-a way!" Mario exclaims with a chuckle. "It was 7:1 on a Friday Night..."

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Our story begins at some sort of motel. Inside is an office with a window that has the logo "M.M. Private Eye on it. Mario narrates, "I-a was working downtown doing mostly-a small jobs. But this-a time, I was onto something-a big. It was all right there-a in black and white."

Sonic's voice ask confused, "So wait, why is it in black and white?'

"Because colors wasn't-a invented yet of course!" Mario's voice explains snappishly to his best friend.

Inside the office, Mario is in Sam Spade like clothing as the detective checks out papers which has these articles "Accidents Caused by Bad Tires", "Blowouts Everywhere" and "Counterfeit Tire Ring". He frowns while slapping the stuff onto the ground.

"There-a was blowouts all over. There-a was some kind of counterfeit tire ring involved..."

Mario glances at something in interest, sort of: a small ad on the bottom.

"As well-a as wee a sale on trailer hitches down-a at Rusty Rod's."

Mario grabs a cigar, preparing to smoke a bit as he ponders.

"I-a was preparing to-a hit the bricks...when she came in..."

Mario spots someone coming into the officer, a girl named Tessa James and she looks sad and upset.

"She-a was wearing some whitewall-a rings...that ones that-a would've drive me-a crazy."

"Hey Mario." Tessa said to Mario in concern.

"Tessa? What-a you doing here and-a without your sister?" Mario ask Tessa in concern as he knows of her sister, Vanessa, whom she is never without.

"I missed you."

"Like-a how you-a missed your last smog check!" Mario snaps sternly as he heads to window to smoke hbis cigar.

"Come on, you don't have to play poker with me. I'm too good for that." Tessa said with a hopeful sly grin to Mario.

"Well, no surprise since-a you were the wild card. So what-a you want?"

"I need your help to find my sister. She has been...kidnapped!" Tessa begins to say as she cry a bit, apparently worried over what happened to her sister Vanessa.

"Awww, no-a more waterworks. So where-a did you last saw her?" Mario ask Tessa with an annoyed frown on his face. Perhaps he could help her, just so she can stop crying!

"She was working for Constantine."

Thunder flashed the room a bit, making Mario ponders. He knows of Constantine, the most dangerous criminal in the city. No one has ever caught him as he avoids evaded capture. If Constantine is indeed up to something, then time for Mario to finally catch him and put him behind bars.

"Constantine, did-a you say?" Mario ask puzzled as he takes a whiff of his cigar...then coughs like mad. "Ugh! Gotta cut back!"

Tessa didn't waste time in tossing a paper to the desk. It shows an article with a green frog with a mole on his face under the words "Constantine Opens Night Club". The girl explains, "My sister worked at his club, the "Cococabana".

--------------

Mario didn't waste time in heading down to the nighttime, preparing for some answers. Inside the place, a Mariachi Band with three kids named Manny Rivera, Frida Suárez, and Davi Roccco were performing instruments while a Brazilian woman named Aurora who is singing to the crowd.

Mario is in the crowd watching he performance. As the "cha cha cha" words were heard, the song came to an end. The crowd cheers to the crowd as Aurora calls out, "Oooh! Mucho gracia! Ha ha!" Aurora hops the stage as she spots Mario was watching. As she came over, the woman ask, "You wanted to see me, senor?"

"Yes. I-a am looking for Vanessa James. You seen her?" Mario ask Aurora curiously.

"Aurora, that ragtop. Can't remember."

"Perhaps, this-a will help you remember."

Mario slams an item onto the place which Aurora looks at carefully. She hums, "Hmmm...maybe..." The detective sighs as he put the rest of the valuables right onto the table, making her gasp, "Ooooh! Oh yes. I remember now. Heh heh." The woman leans to Mario as she continues, "I saw her a couple of days ago with Constantine."

"Any-a chance you can tell me where-a they go?" Mario ask Aurora anxiously.

"Not sure and don't care. But she does smell salty...like the ocean."

"Hey!" An annoyed voice exclaims as the two turns to see a man glaring. "This bum bugging ya?

"Nope, but a girl can hope." Aurora said to the man, giving a sly grin to Mario, much to his discomfort. He didn't come here, looking for a date!

Suddenly a monster named Sweetums appears, growling at Mario, "Well, he's bugging me, the nosy fatso!"

Without warning, Mario was tossed right out of the building, hitting a weasel. Sweetums came up and snatches the plumber up, making him snaps, "Whoa! Hello, Sweetums. Still doing-a underling jobs?"

"You're being a very nosy guy, aren't ya?"

"So what-a if I am?"

"Do you know who happened to bums who sticks their noises into the wrong places?" Sweetums ask Mario with a growl. "Wanna guess, place?"

"I-a don't know." Mario said, blinking and not sure if he will like where this is going. "A mudbath?"

"They lose this!"

Mario yelps as Sweetums pulls his hat off and grabs his hair hard. The detective screams as the monster pulls part of it right off. That gotta hurt!

"Next time, it will be the mustache, got it?!" Sweetums snaps as he tosses Mario to the ground, heading off.

"I-a was down to bits of-a my hair. But I still-a continue just fine."

Mario came down the alley, fixing his hair a bit. He looks around and spots a moleman named Harry operating a dump struck as he's putting trash in it.

"Hey-a Harry. What's-a the word on the street?" Mario ask Harry hopefully. If anyone got any information on certain criminal activities, it should be this moleman.

"I don't know." Harry remarks with a shrug.

"Don't know?"

"Nope! They got me working the alleys, dumping all these blowout tires."

"Blowouts, you-a say?" Mario ask, pondering on what Harry just said.

"Right, very odd if you ask me." Harry remarks with a shrug, getting Mario's attention.

"Odd? How-a so?"

"They got this weird smell."

"Smell?"

"They-a smell salty." Harry remarks, sniffing the tires and gagging a bit.

"Salty?" Mario ask in surprise upon hearing that. Just like Vanessa from how Aurora described her back at the club! Interesting.

"Right, like the ocean."

"Ocean?"

"Yep. Haven't smelled that since I worked down at the docks." Harry remarks, recalling the last time he smells something from the ocean which is salty.

"Rocks?" Mario ask, misunderstanding what Harry said at first.

"No, no. Docks!"

"Ducks?"

"No, no, Docks!" Harry exclaims impatiently to Mario.

"Right, docks! Thanks-a, Harry!" Mario exclaims as he quickly heads off. Looks like Constantine is up to something at the docks, the tires and Vanessa are connected!

"No problem. Not sure what I did, but oh well."

-----------

Mario arrives at the docks where a few Muppet workers were working the operation. Mario was peeking behind his hiding place then gagged upon seeing a familiar girl tied up and gagged.

"Vanessa!" Mario gasps quickly. He put some boxes onto himself as he begins heading off, going past some men who were working and unaware of his presence.

"Hey, come on! Put a little hustle into it!" A voice exclaims quickly.

A noise is heard, getting the attention of the villains who are playing cards. As they look around and spotted something, one of them whistles to a villain named Angel Marie working the crane.

"Huh?" Angel Marie growls then he quickly works on using the hook to grab something that his pals just spotted...a certain box disguise which was pulled off of Mario!

"Huh? Uh oh." Mario yelps as he saw the crowd surrounding Mario. Not good, he has been exposed. The detective looks at the worried gagged Vanessa...then up came a familiar frog with a mole on his face. "Mama mia! It's-a Constantine! Wait until I tell-a the DA!"

"You aren't telling anything, detective." Constantine spoke sternly. Suddenly, without warning Mario was snatched by the crane, causing him to yelp as Angel Marie pulls him upward.

"Mama mia! What?! I-a being shanghaied!"

"No, stop!" A familiar voice exclaims in horror. Mario saw Tessa rushing onto the scene in shock. Of course, it makes sense now!

"Tessa! You-a double-crossing double-crosser!" Mario exclaims angrily to Tessa. The girl has set him up to be killed by Constantine!

"I'm sorry, I didn't have a choice! It was the only way to save my sister."

"Well, you-a always did the right thing. Too-a bad it was just the wrong way."

Angel Marie turns his crane around, preparing to make a big killing onto Mario. Tessa gasps in horror, "No!" She didn't wanted this to happen, especially when the hero is being taken towards the ocean.

One drop and it's all over!

---------

"Whoa!" Sonic exclaims in surprise and amazement back in reality. "So what did you do?"

Mario comment, "Don't you remember, Lieutenant Hedgehog? I mean, not only did you save my bacon with the help of the police, but Doc Garrick was there as the Flash with some of his Justice Society teammates."

-----------------

The flashback shows Sonic arriving with several cops, the Flash, the Alan Scott Green Lantern, the Al Pratt Atom, Wildcat, Doctor Mid-Nite, Hourman and Hawkman. The hedgehog, in Eddie Valiant type clothing, snaps in determination, "Looks like we got you this time, Constantine!"

The villains turns to see the newcomers, much to Constantine's shock as he yells out, "What?! Hedgehog?! How did that blasted rodent found out?!'

"First off, I'm a hedgehog, not a rodent. Second, Mario's GPS signal before coming here, that's how!"

"Ugh, stupid men! Why did I worked with losers?!' Constantine groans out as the heroes rushes over to the ship. "Get them!"

The villains didn't waste time in working to attack, tossing barrels at the heroes who yelped and dodged. Sonic exclaims, "Whoa!"

"Mario!" Tessa exclaims as she quickly got to work on the controls that Angel Marie has overlooked which are on the bottom. The girl taps the reverse, which send Mario crashing to the ground, hard but safe.

"Whoa!" Mario exclaims. As he recovers, he looks at the edge of the crane and smirks, having an idea. The detectives grabs some ropes, somehow tied the crane with it and run, amazingly strong enough to twirl it and Angel Marie Around. "YAHOO!!!"

Constantine didn't have time to dodge as the crane hook with the box broke right off, sending it crashing right onto the villainous frog. He groans, knocked out and defeated.

Some boxes opens up during the struggle, causing Mario to take a look. In a smirk of triumph, he spoke, "Aha! I-a thought so! Counterfeit tires. This-a proves that Constantine is-a behind the blowouts!"

As Sonic and the heroes came over, the hedgehog smiles as he said, "You led us right to him, Mario. All right, guys, take him away."

As the police and heroes drove off with the prisoners to take them to prisoner, Mario glares at the one who got him into this mess: Tessa peeking from an alley, obviously feeling bad that he almost got killed.

"Well, it-a was a fine mess you-a got me into, Tessa." Mario said sternly to Vanessa.

"Aww, I am not bad, Mario. I am just born that way." Tessa said as she prepares to leave. "So, how about this: we can pick up where we left off?"

But when Tessa turns back around, she gasps as Mario is nowhere in sight. Looks like the detective has left, a job well done.

---------

Back in reality, Emerl comments in amazement, "Wow, did that really happen?"

Sonic comment, "Hey. Come on, I wasn't even BORN in the 1940s, much less a police lieutenant. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard so far."

Suddenly as noise is heard as the trio turns to see three familiar kids playing their instruments. Aurora, leading a conga line, spoke up, "Come on, Mario! Everyone, conga!"

"All right-a, right behind you!" Mario exclaims with a smirk to the woman.

Mario rushes off to join the conga line. Emerl smirks as he follows, much to Mario's further shock as the two heads off to the conga line. What in the world?

---------

We see the trio, Aurora and the El Tigre kids chanting and posing as they sing, "Cha cha cha."

The End

Author's note
All right, weird but it works. In the next chapter, Mario heads to Tokyo, Japan for the first time (before the sequel) and gets into a drift race with a robot named Knockout. Can he win this thing? Read, review and suggest.

Constantine is the main villain of "The Muppets' Most Wanted".

Harry the Moleman is the loser from the Sam and Max franchise.

Aurora is actually what I named the Brazilian woman that Donald fell for in "The Three Caballeros".

Manny Rivera, Frida Suárez, and Davi Roccco are from "El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera".