Spike: And, yeah, I seriously do need all of this, so hooves off.
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash: Spike?!
//What were you expecting, a -- wait, no; baker actually works in this context. Nevermind.
//Applejack takes a fighting stance, Rainbow Dash lands. Pinkie Pie looks at the cakes glumly while collecting her impossible dolls and putting them into hammerspace.
Spike: So, the guard captain said I needed to defeat all the Avatars in combat to get an audience with the Princess. I don't know if there's any formalities to go through, or if you want time to prepare... but I'm ready whenever you are.
//Fluttershy and Rarity are still lazing about on their couches. Pinkie Pie is eying the pastries beside me furiously, Rainbow Dash shrugs, and Applejack trots over to stand next to Pinkie Pie. I feel like this is a group of ponies who weren't prepared to fight...
RBD: It's Castle stuff. There should be _some_ formalities.
//I thought she wasn't talking to me?
PP: Isn't it traditional to greet a Hero with a big huge scrum-diddly-umptious feast?
AJ: 'Swings, girl, stop thinkin' with your stomach!
PP: Hehehaha, sorry!
//I take a fighting stance next to the cart, looking at a still spot on the floor so I can see all of them if they move. My first action should be Walk of the Third; I need time if I'm going to fight five of them at once...
R: Hero, we haven't yet decided who will be your first opponent.
Spike: ...First?
//...
AJ: Huh huh, you were thinkin' we'd all fight you at once? What's fair about that?
//...Oh.
Spike: Uh... okay.
//I stand straight and look at the cart, recalculating. Plans slide about in chunks in my head, none of them fitting together.
PP: Ooh! Ooh! Should I go first? And can the big cake be the reward for the winner?
AJ: What did I just tell ya, girl?!
FS: Pinkie Pie, if you go first you'll have to wait for everyone else to take their turn. Are you sure you're patient enough for that?
PP: Yeah, you're right. Second it is!
//Rarity hides rolling eyes with a turn of her head.
R: That leaves Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and I. I'd ask who's volunteering, but -- that may as well be assigning the task.
AJ: I've been standin' here waitin' for somethin' to happen. And I'm sure Rainbow Dash is antsy; I mean... she's Rainbow Dash.
PP: But I wanna see Rarity fight! Spike didn't pass a test for her Element, so I wonder if she has some ooky-spooky foolery up her sleeve!
FS: ...But she's not wearing anything.
//Rainbow Dash points at me.
RBD: Why don't we let the Hero decide?
//Everyone falls silent, contemplating this.
RBD: I mean, it is his challenge.
R: Challenger sets the rules... I find it keeps with the traditional spirit of the encounter. Good suggestion, Rainbow Dash!
AJ: It's decided, then. Spike'll pick the fightin' order.
PP: So who's it gonna be? Huh, huh, huh?
\\Think about what you know for each pony. What their capabilities are, if you fought them, how the fight went, what you've heard about them, the Avatars they are and the Elements they carried. The past traumas you can abuse, and how they'll react to it (because let's face it you're not getting out of this without a low blow somewhere). Your moves, the amount of calories here, how far that will take you...

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

>>APPLEJACK
>>FLUTTERSHY
>>PINKIE PIE
>>RAINBOW DASH
>>RARITY

Spike: Fluttershy.
//She sinks lower into the couch and gives off a little squeak eyes wide. A terrifying warrior.
\\It was mentioned Fluttershy is able to deceive someone's senses at will. That's a powerful ability she didn't need to kick your tail last time. She's a pegasus, too; even if she doesn't fly like Rainbow Dash does it's an additional dimension in which you don't have movement capabilities. And the great hall ceiling is high.
AJ: Well, we should move the furniture first and all so nothin' gets broken in the fight.
//Applejack walks over to the cart and starts pushing it with her head. As the rest of the Avatars start dragging couches, taking down banners, and moving rugs, I walk next to her and stabilize the tower of desserts.
AJ: (Spike. You do know, if anypony defeats you in this here challenge, that pony is gonna crawl on top of you faster than--)
Spike: (I don't need a folksy colloquialism for that, thanks.)
AJ: (Just sayin'. I think y'all are underestimatin' Fluttershy. She doesn't need to draw blood to defeat you, if another liquid could do it. And, from what I hear, controllin' the bodies of others is a specialty of hers.)
Spike: (Out of... let's call it 'morbid curiosity', does the 'anypony' include you too?)
//Applejack pauses for a second as we set the cart in a secure place, behind a pillar. As long as a wandering guard doesn't find it...
AJ: (...You'd be a great addition to the Cavalry if y'all were more willin' to take orders. Heck, you should think about it anyways; the military life ain't all that bad. And, maybe this piece is me bein' a little too honest, but I'd have to be mighty noble to pass on a free chance at livin' forever.)
//I turn away and mutter:
Spike: Yeah, but think about how awkward it would make family reunions.
//After a moment watching me walk, Applejack recovers and yells:
AJ: Why you dirty son of a bitch, you ain't got no right talkin' to me like--
Spike: What, are you kidding?
//I stand twenty feet from trembling Fluttershy, taking position in the cleared great hall, fight about to begin.
Spike: Hurting people is what got me here.

//ROUND ONE... FIGHT!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//Fluttershy stays still, eyes closed.
FS: Just do your best, it'll be okay...
//...Wow, that's very supportive of her.
Spike: Oh, thanks. I'll try to.
PP: Hehehaha *snort* hehehaha, Spike, I think Fluttershy was saying that to herself!
RBD: You're having motivation problems? Spike burnt down the Valley forest!
//That was like, six weeks ago!
PP: He what?
RBD: I didn't tell you? Totally his fault!
Spike: It was an accident!
RBD: Get him, Fluttershy! Only _you_ can prevent forest fires!
FS: Oh my goodness -- you didn't do it on purpose, did you Spike?
//Didn't I just answer that?
//JUST START FIGHTING ALREADY

The Drakeling breathes fire at Fluttershy!
Fluttershy leaps away from the flames!

//As Fluttershy dodges, I look to where she should be.
Spike: Uh.
//I look around. She's nowhere.
PP: Hehehaha *snort* hehehaha, oh man, he has no idea!
AJ: Don't tease him, Pinkie; he's concentratin'.
//And here's where I say 'no idea about what' like a stooge, setting me up for a dramatic--
Fluttershy grabs The Drakeling by the left lower leg from behind with her left front hoof!
Fluttershy grabs The Drakeling by the lower body from behind with her right front hoof!
Fluttershy takes down The Drakeling by the lower body!

//I faceplant into the marble, knocking the wind out of me. With her hoof pressing down on my back, I can't move or twist on the floor.
The Drakeling is pinned!
RBD: What, no quip?
FS: Words are nice. But now our bodies will say all that we need to share between us.
Spike: Is that why no one in this country understands the word 'no'?
The Drakeling struggles in vain against the grip of Fluttershy's right front hoof on The Drakeling's upper body!
//Fluttershy leans her head close to the small of my back. I can feel her breath underneath my scales.
FS: My, my. It seems you talk very much about being a Hero to help everypony. It'd be a shame if your body simply weren't up to the task.
//Her hair brushes against my leg, and a mental strength is sapped from me. Fight? Why fight? It only hurts people...
FS: That's okay. We can always find something to do with our bodies.
//STOP FUCKING LISTENING IT'S A CHARM IDIOT
//But, there's nothing else to do! I can't use any of my moves like this, and even if I could use Blood of the Earth or Touch of Grisly Terror, using them so early means I'd have nothing to work with in the later stages...
//DID I FUCKING TELL YOU TO? NO! SHUT HER UP!
RBD: ...You know, I really didn't expect it to go like this.
PP: Spike's a fighter, not a lover!
AJ: Huh, I guess 'Avatar of Temptation' ain't a misnomer...
//How, if I can't--
//WOULD SHE DARE BE SO RUDE AS TO TALK WHEN YOU'RE TALKING?
FS: Just relax, and everything will feel much better. I'll teach you how to be a lover...
//Silently clearing my throat, I go for shock.
Spike: Fluttershy, you _harlot_, get off of my husband!!

Fluttershy releases the grip of Fluttershy's right front hoof on The Drakeling's lower body.
//Clarity floods back.
AJ: What in--
PP: Did he--
RBD: You little--
The Drakeling elbows Fluttershy in the head with his right elbow, bruising the skin, bruising the muscle and bruising the bone!
//I turn over and breathe fire!
The Drakeling breathes fire!
Fluttershy is caught in the flames! Fluttershy's mane has been burnt!
Fluttershy leaps away from The Drakeling!
//Like a cartoon, she rushes behind a pillar too small for her and disappears.

AJ: --hell's blazin' inferno did y'all do there?!
//Rarity is calm and collected, watching the fight in silence. It's obvious she didn't say that.
Spike: Don't ask.
The Drakeling stands up.
RBD: I can't believe you pulled _that_ out in a fight. ...Good job.
//...You know, I was actually expecting sarcasm from her.
Spike: Come out, come out, wherever you are...
FS: Hmm-hmm. Do you think I'm hiding?
//Left--

The Drakeling breathes fire!
The pillar is caught in the dragonfire! The pillar's stones are unharmed!
//That should have wrapped around and scorched her a little... is Fluttershy a ventriloquist?
\\No, remember in her bedroom, the time when you fought her--
FS: I'm not hiding. Every inch of me is right here to see.
//Her voice comes from both the front and the back. I check behind me, but the Avatars aren't looking close to themselves.
FS: But as they say, hmm-hmm, someponies only see want they want to see.

Fluttershy nuzzles The Drakeling in the upper body with her fuzzy snout!
Spike: Whaaoo--
//As Fluttershy appears in front of me, my legs give out, and I fall to my knees!
//Fluttershy stares down at me, with large, soulful eyes that grow deeper and more inviting the longer I stare into them. Both our heads are enclosed by her hair, wrapping us into a separate world and tickling my back, sharing breath...
FS: ...Why would you trust your eyes, instead of your heart?
\\Don't look at her anymore, don't; think of something else, think of--
Spike: Wuh...
\\Think of bones you broke and the raw shrieking pain and the gore, anything but this--
Spike: The heart just pumps blood!
The Drakeling punches Fluttershy in the upper body with his left hand, bruising the skin, bruising the muscle and bruising the right false rib!
Fluttershy leaps away from The Drakeling!

The Drakeling stands up.
//As Fluttershy stands on the engraved marble floor, she seems to melt into the scenery, blurring and becoming translucent. In less than a moment she fades entirely.
FS: Do you see with your eyes? You'll never be able to see me like that, hmm-hmm.
AJ: Ah, great. She's tryin' to lecture durin' a fight.
RBD: Everyone knows talking is boring! Just kick his tail!
R: Girls, I'm sure Fluttershy has her reasons. Let her work, please.
//See with my eyes? How the hell do people see otherwise?!
FS: I see with my heart. To me, that means your eyes are nice marbles to play with.
//...Northwest, it's been both times--

The Drakeling breathes fire!
//It hits nothing!
//Fluttershy's voice comes from left, right, behind, and in front. Not 'all around'; those directions specifically.
FS: I hear with my soul. Listening to others makes us ponies, instead of animals. ...It ~also~ means your ears are only cute things meant for me to nibble, hmm-hmm.
Spike: Are you hoping I'll keel over and die from stupid metaphors?
//IF IT MEANS I'LL GET TO STOP LISTENING TO THIS FUCKING SHIT THEN I AM
//Two hoofsteps, the second closer, in front of me. Fluttershy's attacked from the front already--
The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Lake of Fire!
Bouts of flame coat the ground!
//That's to my left, so go right--
The Drakeling kicks Fluttershy in the right front leg with his left foot, tearing apart the skin and bruising the muscle!
FS: Oh!
//Before she even attacks, the Avatar of Temptation scrambles away!

//I guess this is the Patatrin-Vikramana Fluttershy is known for, but I never got that good with the technique.
Spike: If we're giving criticism during the fight then I'd like to take a turn.
\\Breathe in through the nose while you're speaking. It should be easy to smell her bleeding leg and burnt hair.
The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and dismisses the fires!
//And maybe she won't concentrate on smell if she's listening to me.
Spike: Have you ever considered thinking for yourself? Or is it easier to dangle on strings than stand up?
RBD: (Wasn't he complaining about metaphors a second ago?)
//Blood, far left and just behind. Staying away, what does she have up her sleeve...
Spike: I get it, you like slaving for others. So much you try to show me how great it is against my will.
FS: I'd never have thought a Hero would dislike the betterment of others.
//Far right, just ahead. Directly opposite, a fearful response... though the smell is getting closer.
Spike: Heroism _is_ the betterment of others--

Fluttershy charges at The Drakeling!
The Drakeling punches Fluttershy in the upper body with his right hand, bruising the skin and bruising the muscle!
Fluttershy headbutts The Drakeling in the head, shattering the scale, bruising the muscle and bruising the nose's cartilage!
Fluttershy collides with The Drakeling! The Drakeling is bowled over!
Fluttershy grabs The Drakeling by the left upper arm with her right front hoof! Fluttershy grabs The Drakeling by the right upper leg with her left rear hoof! Fluttershy grabs The Drakeling by the upper body with her left front hoof!
The Drakeling is pinned!
//Pinned? To hell with that, I've got my--
//Fluttershy places her face just in front of mine, and asks:
FS: Can you say that looking me in the eye?
//Eyes, wide but not unfriendly, with innocent shiny black ovals front and center. Hair, soft pink and curving, falls across my face and tickles my neck, slipping itself through my scales. Breath, sweet and hot that mixes with my own, reminds me of no word I can remember but 'seeds'. In peripheral vision, welcoming wings of this angelic pegasus pass in front of the light. The world grows yellow and still.
//I try to repeat it, but my mouth won't respond.
FS: Spike, when you take big, dramatic actions as a Hero, what you do affects just so many ponies. Nopony can truly know how everything they do will turn out; we just learn afterward. Are you?
//Am I? I look back at her, blankly.
FS: Think about Shinra. Do you know who that is?
//I shake my head the slightest bit as someone, somewhere far away, screams in my head.
FS: She was a secretary working just outside of Canterlot. Please try to remember.
Spike: Ya.
//My voice stumbles out of its cave like an oblivious bear blundering its way through a peaceful brook. Auditory tension releases as Fluttershy speaks again.
FS: Only a few days ago her life was ended because of actions you chose to take. Now, most surprising to me is that you didn't learn from your mistake. Why are you here?
//To... to meet the Princess, and... Fluttershy speaks in a whisper, almost not speaking at all but her words slip into me.
FS: ...It's okay, I won't make you lie to me. I was there when you started your quest, hmm-hmm. You set out to defeat the Princess, because Celestia wanted you to.
//That's... kill was the word, kill was it... screaming comes closer but it's muffled on the other side of an imaginary door.
FS: I hear you told Twilight what happened up there. Celestia wanted it all to happen. But how can you be here today if ponies like Shinra get hurt doing what Celestia says?
//Fluttershy's body is on top of me; I didn't notice it a hint. She's warmer than I am, and it's almost hard to breathe.
FS: You must be here to defeat the Princess. Have you learned from your mistakes? Doing what you thought Celestia told you led to innocent ponies getting hurt. How can such terrible things be the result of the best action to take?
//The screaming gets louder and louder until it bursts through:
\\Your eyes are dry! Stop staring!
FS: ...Maybe you haven't learned. But it's okay. I'll teach you.
//Not wanting to break eye contact, I blink my inner eyelids.
//Fluttershy, surprised, pushes herself off me. Stone pillars and reality come slamming back.
The Drakeling breathes fire!
Fluttershy dodges away from the flames!

The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Walk of the Third!
//Okay. That was a powerful charm and I need time to compose myself.
The Drakeling stands up.
//Fluttershy is nowhere to be found, as expected. No significant damage has been done to either of us. I've revealed Lake of Fire, Walk of the Third, and... that's it. The Avatars stand, most politely looking away, twenty feet from where we lay. Almost lay.
//She said I shouldn't follow Celestia's orders because they led to some people getting hurt. The reasoning was... some people getting hurt is unacceptable in the extreme. Which is unreasonable.
Spike: So, first things first.
//I take a big sniff. Blood and burnt hair southeast, strong. I take one step that way and a running Fluttershy slides into view, like she was hiding behind a borderless painting.
The Drakeling's Walk of the Third ends.

The Drakeling charges at Fluttershy!
The Drakeling punches Fluttershy in the lower body with his left hand, bruising the muscle, bruising the left kidney and bruising the guts!
Fluttershy counterattacks!
Fluttershy kicks The Drakeling in the first finger, right hand with her right rear hoof, shattering the bone! Fluttershy kicks The Drakeling in the second finger, right hand with her right rear hoof, shattering the bone!
The Drakeling collides with Fluttershy and bounces backwards!
//Fluttershy disappears again as I blink from the pain.

//THERE WE GO SOME FUCKING SIGNIFICANT DAMAGE
//I got the worse end of it!
Spike: Gah... you're wrong. About everything. Your kindness makes you shortsighted.
//I test my fingers. Can't move them at all... right hand is down for the count.
//WHICH ONLY GOES UP TO THREE NOW
Spike: It's too easy to say 'I'll only take actions that have negative consequences for nobody'. You end up doing nothing!
The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Walk of the Third!
//Again, I step to the left and the Avatar reforms. Her power must work on my eyes, not on her body... when I step outside targeting, Fluttershy is there as normal.
//Still... if she's able to do it at will, I don't want to keep dropping into Walk of the Third for every initiation. If I pay attention and place it right this will work:
The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Lake of Fire!
\\Hey that's the checkerboard sentry pattern from Strategy!
//That's the point...
The Drakeling's Walk of the Third ends.

//After a second dodging the flames, Fluttershy disappears again.
RBD: Finally. What took him so long?
AJ: Uh, what'd he do?
RBD: It's a grid pattern. If Fluttershy runs, it'll give her away 'cause of the fires behind her, and she'll overheat in there before too long.
PP: What if she flies?
RBD: Then it's obvious where she is.
R: Her sole option is to attack, which is her least favored.
//I have to believe I'm a better fighter than Fluttershy, as long as I can resist the charms.
Spike: I mean, failing me on the test because one non-person got hurt? Now I get why you stopped being an official Avatar, stopped trying to -- do anything! Because if you do anything, there's a chance someone loses!
//Which leads to plans like 'trying to romance the Aquinatic Conflict's prime agitator to convince him to end it', and other such garbage that will never work.
Spike: But people lose out if you choose to do nothing, too. Someone like me... I can't stay paralyzed in fear of making a mistake.
//Fires dance to my right, and I dive that way, swiping through them. But a cough comes from far behind, quickly muffled, so I turn around and walk.
Spike: If no one is brave enough to fail, the world's problems will stay with us forever!
//Trail of air pulls fires to the north, and I chase after them, one good hand balled into a fist.
FS: This might hurt a little...
//Fluttershy appears a few feet in front of me, closing her eyes, concentrating. She's dismissed the visual illusion. I don't care why.

The Drakeling charges!
//Before I can take two steps, a force grabs me internally, near the stomach, and squeezes.
Spike: Ough--
//I come to a halt, doubling over without another word. Flames dance around me.
//The pain, this pain, I've never felt anything like it before, tears well up in my eyes--
The flames are dismissed.
//Fires in the checkerboard pattern fade away, smoke dissipating. Fluttershy opens her eyes, and the pain pulses.
//Damn... damnit, what did she do, I can't think for the pain; it's rooting itself in my stomach, growing tendrils up into my chest and down my arms and legs. Nausea, fatigue and heat echo after the pain, amplifying and chasing it.
PP: Huh? What's happening?
R: ...Fluttershy is giving it her all.
\\I'm a dragon. How am I feeling hot?
FS: ...I'm sorry.
//The pain flips off. After it, fire works its way up my stomach, past my lungs, and out my nose and mouth like vomit, tasting of bile.
//KILL THIS FUCKING BITCH HOW DARE SHE
Spike: What... did you do...
FS: Hmm-hmm, I know your body better than you do.
//THOSE GLANDS ARE MY PROPERTY
//She... Fluttershy forced the fire glands, dismissed the flames... and I couldn't do anything about it.
FS: How does it feel when your body betrays you?
//Pressures, in waves, start inside different parts of me, shaking my chest and making it hard to breathe. Like in Quine's blizzard, ice digs under my scales, surrounds me, compels me to sleep and close my eyes... at least that's what I feel.
FS: Our bodies give us signals. Good and bad are some of these signals too. We feel what is right and wrong in our hearts, whether or not we acknowledge that in our minds.
//The world slides away, data from eyes and ears and nose disregarded as unimportant. At the same time as I retreat within my own mind, adrenaline surges, and my heart pumps wildly -- I should be paying attention but I'm losing it!
FS: In the same way vomit reflexes trigger when something we do brings us ill; guilt, sadness, anguish, and empathy reflexes trigger when what we do brings others ill.
//How can she do this?! How does she have the right to make me feel however she wants me to?!
//Anger reaches a peak and bursts, but like a balloon it all escapes, replaced by weariness. I never was a match to any of the Avatars. Fluttershy can fight the least of them, and here I am bowing to her. I'm worthless...
//NO SHIT, ASSHOLE. YOU CAN'T EVEN FEND OFF YOUR OWN SHITBALL CHEMICALS.
//Hunger drags my stomach in, sapping strength from my bones. Acid kicks up in my throat, looking for something to burn. And a confusion as well, but that's about the dragon instinct.
\\You mean, she's forcing _all_ my glands and such to activate? That's what's making me feel all these things?
//ISN'T THE MIND JUST A CHEMICAL FUCKING WONDERLAND?
//My leg seizes, and blood flow is restricted to it.
//Whoa, _that_ is too far--
PP: Hehehaha *snort* hehehaha, I guess she really _does_ know his body!
//The other waiting Avatars are silent. In embarrassment or patience, I can't tell.
FS: Hmm-hmm. Glad to see you too, Spike.
Spike: It's... you're doing it, this isn't--
FS: I am? I'm so sorry. Let me help you with that.
//What can I do against this assault? Every part of my body is telling me radically different things; she has strings around each part and I can't defend myself.
Spike: No! I planned on fighting today. My mind is already made! I should be proving myself with -- uurrgh --
FS: You must have seen the terror and pain of those who you've hurt. Did it feel something like this to you? What about to them?
//No, nothing's felt like this ever, because this cocktail of emotion isn't a possible thing to feel--
FS: How can hurting others be the best path for your mind to choose, when your _unconscious_ body rejects it? Shouldn't you listen to how you feel?
//That's -- that's it! I don't care anymore, this has to stop!

The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Blood of the Earth!
Snaking through the marble, streams of magma flow around The Drakeling's scales and into his veins!
//As molten iron and nickel replaces my glands, emotion rolls off, washing away. Anger, terror, bitterness, lust burn off cleanly -- everything but hunger. Pressure waves might be there, but I can no longer feel them.
//Fluttershy takes a step or two away, sensing a change. Fingers healed, I stand up. Marble beneath my feet is warping and burning.
Spike: No. I shouldn't.
FS: Wh-- what do you mean?
//I don't know if she was counting on Blood of the Earth being this, instead of the paltry heal-faster move.
Spike: _Feeling_ bad when others are hurt... maybe that's how you are. So you can trust your feelings. But I learned, on my own journey and from the words of the wisest person I know, that dragons are built to be remorseless killers. That's something I'd like to override.
//Of course social herbivorous prey animals would have glands and instincts that reward cooperative, beneficial actions. And solitary, carnivorous predator animals have glands and instincts that reward tearing others apart limb by bloody limb. Use of the mind is what separates me from dragons like the one who burnt down the Olfrus's farm, and what separates us from insects.
Spike: I've never felt good or evil, not even a little bit. I've always thought it. And that means good and evil don't change when I'm having a bad day!
The Drakeling's Blood of the Earth ends.
Spike: I'm going to take a chance! I'm going to believe that I can do better for the world! And I'll repay any injury I've caused a dozen times over with my successes! That's where I see good, and I'm chasing it!
//I take a fighting stance. Finally, maybe now the battle can begin!
Spike: So come on! Fight me for real!
//Fluttershy, a growing sadness in her eyes, lowers her head and lets hair conceal her face.
FS: ...No.

Fluttershy was defeated!
Spike earned 25000 experience points!
Spike is now level 37!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

Spike: Uh... what?
//If this is the second stage of the fight, at least I gained a level out of it...
FS: Hurting each other doesn't prove anything, Spike. I tried to talk to you, and you disagreed.
Spike: ...I'm supposed to go through combat with each Avatar before seeing the Princess.
FS: I don't want to hurt you. And I don't want to see what it would do to you if you hurt me. Because you're my friend, and I'm your friend.
//Is this a trick? She might be telling the truth...
FS: We can agree to disagree. That doesn't mean we should hurt each other over it.
//...Fluttershy's master is her own emotion. She still likes me even though I'm a mostly different person, one who's only brought her trouble my entire life.
Spike: Sometimes, we have to hurt each other over it.
//Every war is the result of a difference of opinion. Sometimes, the biggest questions can only be answered by the greatest of conflicts.
FS: ...But not right now.
//Turning her side to me, Fluttershy returns to the gathered Avatars, head shrouded in burnt, bloodstained mane.

//The Avatars, gathered and quiet, shift to absorb Fluttershy into their standing bunch. Rarity looks over her hair sadly and tuts.
//My stomach gurgles. The oranges felt more filling than that...
RBD: So, thought about your next opponent yet?
AJ: The fight ended not two moments ago, Rainbow Dash. Give him a second, will ya?
//Time to think isn't Rainbow Dash's style, heh.
Spike: Thanks, Applejack.
R: Hero, I do believe her concern is the knightly honor of fighting a prepared opponent. Less so you.
//I walk to the cart, protected behind a marble pillar, and yank a pie off it. Here's the stuff!
PP: Hey! It's rude to eat in front of others without sharing!
//Gravy and crust falls to the ground beside me as I eat. Not aiming for decorum so much as highest calories-per-second right now...
FS: ...Oh my goodness.
R: (It is rather rude.)
//In only seconds the pie is gone, stomach full. As greedy, fire-based digestion kicks in, I lick my face clean.
RBD: (That's impressive.)
FS: But where did he get a meat pie around here?
//I rub my face dry with the back of my hand, retaking my place in the middle of the hall.
Spike: You wouldn't believe what I had to say to the chefs so they'd bake that for me.
//Because it was 'please'. Surprisingly accommodating.

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

>>APPLEJACK
>>FLUTTERSHY
>>PINKIE PIE
>>RAINBOW DASH
>>RARITY

Spike: Fluttershy.
FS: ...Yes?
//Oh. Wait. I've already fought her. Then why is she still in the menu?! Who coded this crap?!
Spike: Nevermind.
//She hides again behind her mane, whispering:
FS: Okay...

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

>>APPLEJACK
>>FLUTTERSHY
>>PINKIE PIE
>>RAINBOW DASH
>>RARITY

Spike: I think--
PP: Ooh! Choose me! Choose me!
Spike: Oh, why not. Pinkie Pie.
PP: Ohmyskies yes! I'm so excited! Have you ever been so excited?
Spike: Uh, yes.
PP: Well I've never been so excited! Except for those two times, but apart from that!
//Would she just stop talking and get ready to fight?
PP: We're going to have the bestest fight ever! I'm so jealous you guys get to watch, this is going to be great!
AJ: Go on, girl, get!
//Applejack shoves Pinkie Pie by the flank, sliding her out to the middle of the hall, eyes open in surprise. Once there (after her head bobs stop), she leaps up on her rear hooves and takes a fighting pose!
PP: Grrr!
//Wow. Scary.

//ROUND TWO... FIGHT!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

Pinkie Pie charges at The Drakeling!
Pinkie Pie headbutts The Drakeling in the upper body, but the attack is deflected by The Drakeling's scales!
Pinkie Pie collides with The Drakeling! The Drakeling is bowled over!
//How does that combination happen?! No damage, but knocked over?
Pinkie Pie kicks at The Drakeling with her right front hoof, but The Drakeling rolls away!
//I mean, the charge wasn't even that fast!

The Drakeling stands up.
Spike: 'Swings, I must be off today.
PP: Hehehaha *snort* hehehaha! Why do you say that?
Spike: I'm sure I could have dodged that.
PP: Nope!
//...Excuse me?
Spike: What do you mean, 'nope'?
PP: Well, duh! Of course the boss is unavoidable on the first hit! How else would you know how strong I am?
\\What is this, a video game?

The Drakeling breathes fire!
Pinkie Pie dodges away from the flames!
//Yeah, not expecting that to work. Hold up--
Pinkie Pie charges at The Drakeling!
Pinkie Pie bites The Drakeling in the left upper arm! Pinkie Pie latches on firmly!
Pinkie Pie throws The Drakeling by the left upper arm with her front teeth!
//I was too used to Fluttershy disappearing!
The Drakeling's tail skids along the ground, tearing the scale and bruising the muscle!
The Drakeling's right foot skids along the ground, bruising the scale!
The Drakeling slams into the pillar!
The Drakeling's upper body takes the full force of the impact, shattering the scale and tearing apart the first dorsal ridge!
//Kyaaa that hurt! It's for decoration, anyway; why does it sting so bad?!
The Drakeling stands up.

Pinkie Pie charges at The Drakeling!
Pinkie Pie kicks The Drakeling in the right upper arm with her Dashing Rogue Kick, but the attack is deflected by The Drakeling's scales!
The Drakeling counterattacks!
The Drakeling punches at Pinkie Pie with his right hand, but Pinkie Pie dodges away!
Pinkie Pie rushes past The Drakeling!

\\She must be a brawler. With no wings or spells, the only way she's hurting you is through hoof-to-hand combat. Prepare for close and personal, maybe?
Spike: Screw it!
The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Walk of the Third!
//The Avatar of Luck, looking doofily at me, freezes in place.
The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Lake of Fire!
Bouts of flame coat the ground!
//With careful consideration, I set a ring of fire tightly enclosing Pinkie, twice her height. The rest of it, I use to set my left arm alight. Useful for any pin scenarios.
\\Why don't you do that more often?
//...The crackling and light make it hard to concentrate.
The Drakeling's Walk of the Third ends.
PP: Woah-ho-ho-hoah!
Spike: What's it going to be? The scorching flames, or trying to hold on through the waning oxygen?
AJ: (Does dragonfire use oxygen like a regular fire?)
RBD: (Heck if I know. Who says that's even dragonfire? It didn't come from his mouth.)
R: (Then where did it come from?)
RBD: (As far as I can tell, he pulls it out of--)
PP: Oh man, that would be an absolutely _awful_ decision to make!
//That came from the pillar behind me--
//Pinkie Pie steps out, licks her hoof, and--
Pinkie Pie touches The Drakeling in the left hand with her right front hoof!
The flames are dismissed.
//The flames on my arm disappear!
//BULLSHIT
The Drakeling punches Pinkie Pie in the upper body with his right hand, bruising the skin, bruising the muscle and bruising the left true ribs!
Pinkie Pie tackles The Drakeling, taking him down by the upper body with her left front hoof!
Pinkie Pie grabs The Drakeling by the right upper arm with her left front hoof! Pinkie Pie grabs The Drakeling by the left upper arm with her right front hoof!
//Standing over me, she giggles and says:
PP: I never knew this could be so much fun!

//THERE ARE TOO FEW DISEMBOWELMENTS FOR MY TASTE
The Drakeling kicks Pinkie Pie in the lower body with his right foot, bruising the muscle, bruising the guts and bruising the pancreas!
Pinkie Pie looks sick!
//Queasy, she leaps off me!
The Drakeling stands up.
Pinkie Pie starts to run!
//She disappears behind a pillar too small for her. I doubt she's actually there anymore.
Spike: See, this is just boring to me. I'm not in any real danger from you.
FS: ...That's a very bold statement, Spike.
Spike: You can keep your strange omnipresence, silly first hits, and weird zany antics. They're well and great.

//From the pillar hiding the pies and cakes, a great crashing echoes!
AJ: _'Swings_ Pinkie--
RBD: Can't you concentrate?!
FS: Pinkie Pie, those have meat in them! You'll get sick!
//I turn around.
Pinkie Pie throws the cart by the steel!
//The cart tumbles end over end, bouncing off the ground once! Pastries fly off everywhere!
The tumbling cart strikes The Drakeling in the upper body, bruising the muscle and bruising the right false rib!
//Oof!
The flying *steak and kidney pie* strikes The Drakeling in the left foot, but the attack is deflected by The Drakeling's scales!
//Great, now I have gravy under the scales. It'll smell like that for days... I start circling left, strafing around the pillar.
Spike: Every living thing has a breaking point, where if it gets hit anymore it'll roll over and die.
//A squeaking. The cart's over here, what could...
Spike: And you'll reach that point before I do!
//I keep walking and see Pinkie Pie, behind a -- a what? Is that a _cannon_?
//BOOM!
The speeding *steak and kidney pie* strikes The Drakeling in the upper body, shattering the scale, bruising the muscle, bruising the right true ribs and bruising the right lung!
The Drakeling is sent flying by the force of the blow!

The Drakeling's tail skids along the ground, tearing apart the scale!
//What the hell?!
The Drakeling slams into the ground!
//Covered in flaky dough and gravy and meat, pie tin making a din off behind me, I lean invisibly forwards. That was a cannon!
Spike: Hhhhh... ooh...
//Lungs rebooting, please stand by...
//Pinkie Pie stows the cannon away in some impossible nowhere, and then charges!
The Drakeling stands up.
Pinkie Pie charges at The Drakeling!
The Drakeling charges at Pinkie Pie!
The Drakeling punches Pinkie Pie in the nose with his left hand, bruising the skin and tearing apart the cartilage!
A minor artery has been opened by the attack!
Pinkie Pie kicks The Drakeling in the right lower leg with her right hoof! The attack glances away!
Pinkie Pie collides with The Drakeling! They tumble together and fall over!
//We descend into a big ball of violence!
The Drakeling kicks Pinkie Pie in the left rear leg with his right foot, bruising the skin and bruising the muscle!
Pinkie Pie headbutts The Drakeling in the head, bruising the scale and bruising the muscle!
The Drakeling bites at Pinkie Pie in the ear, but the blow is deflected by Pinkie Pie's hair!
Pinkie Pie kicks The Drakeling in the lower body with her left front hoof, bruising the muscle and bruising the pancreas!
//I think that thing has taken more hits than any organ ever should--
The Drakeling punches Pinkie Pie in the upper body with his left hand, but the attack glances away!
The Drakeling breathes fire!
Pinkie Pie dodges away from the flames!
The Drakeling stands up.

//She appears to the left of me, suddenly, confused as to what even she's doing.
PP: Bhuh?
Pinkie Pie kicks The Drakeling in the left lower arm with her right rear hoof, shattering the scale, bruising the muscle and bruising the bone!
//Rushes over to the other side in an instant -- no one is that quick!
Pinkie Pie kicks at The Drakeling with her left rear hoof, but The Drakeling dodges away!
//She moves behind me before I can react!
Pinkie Pie bites The Drakeling in the tail, chipping the scale and tearing the muscle! Pinkie Pie latches on firmly!
Pinkie Pie takes The Drakeling down by the tail with her front lower teeth!
//She lifts me over her head and slams me down on my back!
The Drakeling's lower body takes the full force of the blow, bruising the muscle and tearing apart the third dorsal ridge!
//Kyaaa that hurt! Again! Again, why do I need these hurty bastard things?!
Pinkie Pie grabs The Drakeling by the left upper leg with her right rear leg! Pinkie Pie grabs The Drakeling by the right upper leg with her left rear leg!
The Drakeling is pinned!
//I can't move, but my arms are free -- how is that pinned?! Who's writing these combat logs?!
PP: Phehehaha, wheeeeeeee!
//A spray of blood specks covers my chest as she laughs. That can't be sanitary, her nose is bleeding everywhere... and that's before the gravy, which is all over us now.
Spike: What in Celestia's name just happened?!
PP: Whad did you egspegd? I'm ad half hid poinds!
//You know what? I'm tired of this crazy pink bint with her stupid antics and impossibilities and nonsense. This is ending right now!
Spike: For a mental patient like you, electroshock therapy is just the thing!
The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Hand of Judgment!
The Drakeling punches Pinkie Pie in the head from below with his right hand, tearing apart the skin, bruising the muscle, bruising the jaw, and shattering the lower front teeth! The severed parts fly off in arcs!
//My scales stick on end, fuzzy electricity gathering on their ends--
The Bolt of Judgment strikes Pinkie Pie in the upper body, charring the fur!
//She spasms wildly, hair standing on end! A glow surrounds her!
The Drakeling grabs Pinkie Pie by the upper body with his right hand! The Drakeling grabs Pinkie Pie by the upper body with his left hand!
The Drakeling throws Pinkie Pie by the upper body!
Pinkie Pie's right front leg skids across the ground, tearing apart the skin and bruising the muscle!
Pinkie Pie slams into the ground!
The Drakeling stands up.

//I watch the Avatar of Luck, breathing heavily. Smoke rises from her back, trailing up to the ceiling.
\\...You still smell like gravy.
RBD: How did he not get shocked by that?
Spike: I guess, of the two of us... I'm more grounded.
//OH COME THE FUCK ON
//Sue me, I deserve a one-liner every now and then.
//Pinkie Pie groans, tries to push herself up on one hoof, and then gives up. I take that as a surrender.
PP: Derrible... pun...
//...

Pinkie Pie was defeated!
Spike earned 25000 experience points!
Spike is now level 38!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

FS: Oh my goodness, Pinkie--!
//Fluttershy gallops over to the defeated Avatar, closely followed by Rarity. I wander to the pillar which once hid pastries. Those were mine, damnit!
FS: Are you okay? Can you talk? Oh, please talk...
PP: ...I bant... ice cream...
//Sigh. Nothing. Not one pastry is left intact at all; every single one has been demolished. That puts a tight constraint on my options...
R: Ice cream? What kind, dear?
PP: ...ebery kind.
AJ: 'Every-kind' ice cream sounds right terrible.
RBD: She probably means one of each, not one with all of the flavors in it.
AJ: Oh, shucks. Yeah.
//Pinkie Pie, eyes closed, weakly sucks gravy out of her hair.
R: Hero, Pinkie Pie is a right mess, as you can see. We'll have to clean her up elsewhere -- not Fluttershy alone, either; those chipped teeth require magical attention.
Spike: Okay. So, break 'till then?
FS: We don't know how long this will take. She's in a bad way. Was that... lightning?
//Fluttershy inspects a lightning web pattern in Pinkie's fur where the bolt hit her. Pinkie is grumbling in response.
Spike: No. It was just what I had to do.
//I burn blood off my chest and tail with dragonfire, then turn to Rainbow Dash and Applejack. The other three make sounds of leaving behind me.
Spike: So... who's next?