//Spike: Quine?
//Quine: Yes?
//Spike: Have you ever heard of someone named 'Twilight Sparkle'?
//Quine thinks for some time. Smoke rolls out of his nostrils, up into the gloom.
//Quine: I have heard many names and many titles in my long years of life, little Spike. It is possible that may have been one of them. But it does not evoke memories of anyone important.
Inductor: Em, excuse me? Are you Spike?
//Spike: Anyone important? What about 'anyone at all'?
//Quine thinks again, for some time.
//Quine: Once, I did hear that name. Something about a coronation, and a Princess. Nothing more.
//Damn, that's just what Rarity said. But the instinct told me not to talk about that, ever...
//Spike: Are you sure? I heard she was the personal student of Princess Celestia.
//Quine: Celestia has held many betwixt her legs over the years, both front and back. That alone does not make a person special.
//T: (This again. I hate this joke.)
//Spike: Wait, you mean--
Inductor: Em, excuse me? Spike?
//The inductor shakes me by the arm, and I wake up from my daydream, groaning.
Spike: Mmmmm... yeah, wha-aaauoof--
//I fall off the raised bed of rocks, facefirst into the ground. Gaah, this is the worst way to wake up...
//The inductor hops back, eyes wide.
ID: Ohmyskies, I'm so sorry! Are you hurt? Please don't be hurt...
//I spit a rock out of my mouth and say:
Spike: Ptoo -- I'm fine, I just fell. Lemme stand up.
//I stand up.
//The inductor, a unicorn with a golden coat and silver hair, has a veil in front of her face, completely obscuring her identity. She also carries a satchel.
Spike: Are you the inductor?
ID: Yes, I am the Inductor of the Detrot Extension of the Celestian Order of the City on the Hill. Which is too long, so we call ourselves Celestia's Faceless.
Spike: It would be hard to fit the first one on a business card.
ID: We have pamphlets. Much easier.
//I suppose it would be.
Spike: Anyway, I'd like to ask you a few questions about the Faceless, because I'd really like to know more about them.
//'SO I CAN COMPLETELY CHANGE YOUR HIPPIE COMMUNE INTO A BLOODLUST-DRIVEN CULT OF PERSONALITY CENTERED AROUND ME'. ALTHOUGH WHETHER YOU'LL HAVE MORE OR LESS MANDATORY FUCKING THAN OTHER CULTS IS A FUCKING MYSTERY TO EVERYONE.
ID: I'd certainly think so; a drakeling doesn't make his way into Detrot for a vacation.
Spike: You know, I actually had an easier time getting to the city than you'd think.
//Although that new tactics Quine taught me really did help with that... not to mention the full month of training.
ID: Is that so? Did you travel with anyone?
//...Here, she'll eat this up.
Spike: I traveled by myself, but I never did feel alone... I always felt like someone was guiding my footsteps. Someone who wanted me to be here.
//OOH, OOH, WAS IT ME? BECAUSE IT CERTAINLY WASN'T FUCKING ME, KILL THIS SHITTY EXCUSE FOR A NUN AND KEEP MOVING--
ID: We are in agreement, then. What would you like to know about the Faceless?

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

>>Who just exactly are the Faceless?
>>Why are you faceless?
>>Why am I hearing more than one voice in my head?
>>Who is Celestia?
>>What does the Faceless believe about dragon and pony interactions?
>>Do you have any grossulars?

\\Damn it, I always hated these question selection things in video games because I'd always choose the same one and waste time going through it again. That, and who cares about exposition? Let's get to the plot, seriously. The last one has to be a joke, so... uh, let's do...
Spike: Who just exactly are the Faceless?
ID: We are a religious order dedicated to the worship of Celestia. Herr Yyz established our order in Canterlot shortly before the disappearance, and since then ponies who share our piety have established extensions in Detrot, Gloucester, Forlegsandria, and Port Fuscus. (Although the Port Fuscus branch has some interesting ideas about Princess Luna that not many of us share.)
//Princess Luna? Who's that?
ID: We believe that true peace, between peoples and within, can only come by accepting Celestia's love and dedicating ourselves to following her example.
T: (Tack 'true' on anything and you get to redefine it, it seems. Celestia wasn't a pacifist.)
ID: The example she set for us is one of kindliness, charity, hard work and humility. These are the attributes we seek for ourselves. What else would you like to know?

>>Why are you faceless?
>>Why am I hearing more than one voice in my head?
>>Who is Celestia?
>>Who is Princess Luna?
>>What does the Faceless believe about dragon and pony interactions?
>>Do you have any grossulars?

\\That last question is really still there? Well, I have to pick again, and -- crap, one more appeared! I don't really care who Princess Luna is! Just get me to the next section!
Spike: Why are you faceless?
ID: Herr Yyz took on her mask as a mark of shame. The mask she wears was once was a tool of debauchery, vice, and ignorance to the greater world in pursuit of hedonism. One day, she received a revelation from Celestia, who told Herr to don her mask and walk out in the daylight. Herr did so, to her great shame, and others looked upon her in disgust. Celestia instructed Herr to keep the mask but throw away the person behind it, and so the first of Celestia's Faceless was born.
Spike: Why were they disgusted?
ID: The mask represents a part of society most would rather ignore. It is a reminder Equestria is not perfect, and such things are troublesome to the ignorant.
T: (One, calling sexual deviance 'imperfect' is repressive; two, it's a leather zipper-mask with stains on it. Yyz wears it because she's a freak, not some visionary.)
ID: We wear our veils in reverence of Herr Yyz, in reverence of the dead, and as a surrender of identity. Once we no longer consider ourselves, then kindliness, charity, and hard work have no cost, and humility has no alternatives.
Spike: In reverence of the dead?
ID: The Faceless are traditionally gravediggers. Those who are dead have given everything they could to others, so they are respected. And true humility involves realizing no pony in the world can avoid death but Celestia.
Spike: Except, you know, those of us who assault dragons.
//The inductor looks uneasy. She paws at the rocks.
ID: ...Gregor Ponydel's Three-Stage Theory is not yet verified by scientists. What else would you like to know?
T: (_Yes_, yes it _is_, that's why it's called a theory. Sometimes when I hear these crazy ponies talk I see where Rarity is coming from.)

>>Why am I hearing more than one voice in my head?
>>Who is Celestia?
>>Who is Princess Luna?
>>What does the Faceless believe about dragon and pony interactions?
>>Do you have any grossulars?

\\Damnit does it even matter click something.
Spike: What does the Faceless believe about dragon and pony interactions?
//The inductor opens her mouth for a second, and then closes it. Somewhere beyond the rock garden, a door closes.
ID: Em... meaning?
Spike: Well, I was talking about living side-by-side sort of stuff, but sex and romance aren't excluded from that, so... whatever you want to talk about, I guess.
//If dragons and ponies are going to live together, some of them will end up romantically together of their own accord... that will create a lot of problems on its own, but it's better than ponies trying to assault drakelings left and right...
ID: Er... source documents from Herr Yyz use the word 'pony' to refer to a civilized being, but that doesn't mean what she says couldn't apply to all people. Celestia's power and love transcends things like what shape we are.
Spike: Glad to hear it.
ID: What else would you like to know?

>>Why am I hearing more than one voice in my head?
>>Who is Celestia?
>>Who is Princess Luna?
>>Do you have any grossulars?

//Why do I have to go back to this menu I just want to hold the spacebar and fly past this crap!
Spike: Who is Princess Luna?
ID: Em, one of the ex-Princesses. You know, the pony sisters who ruled Equestria?
Spike: Sisters? I've only heard people talk about Princess Celestia ruling the land.
ID: Luna appeared about five years ago, and Celestia made her a co-ruler of the throne. She didn't do too much, though. Celestia was the older sister and Luna was a bit of a night owl. When she was even seen. She disappeared at the same time as Celestia.
T: (There's a lot more to Luna than anyone knows.)
Spike: (Okay, Miss Terious.)
Spike: Where did Luna come from?
ID: Hmm?
Spike: If she just appeared five years ago, where did Princess Luna come from? She can't have just spawned... I don't know, out of someone's forehead.
ID: That's a point of contention for the Fuscus branch. They claim that a creature defeated by Celestia over one thousand years ago, called Nightmare Moon, was actually Princess Luna in a possessed state. For any pony to survive one thousand years, the claim is that they would have to be a deity like Celestia. And raising Luna to the throne certainly seems like an odd decision, if Princess Luna were only a mortal like you and me.
//I feel like Twilight wants to say something, but isn't.
ID: But Princess Celestia did very many odd things near the end of her rule. Who knows what she could have been thinking?
T: (The mare who has access to her personal library?)
ID: What else would you like to know?

>>Why am I hearing more than one voice in my head?
>>Who is Celestia?
>>Do you have any grossulars?

\\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Spike: Who is Celestia?
ID: The goddess who created the world.
Spike: Well, yeah, I got that--
ID: The Faceless believe that statement is literal. The sphere we stand on would not exist without Celestia's intervention before any of ponykind or dragonkind existed. And she is a goddess. Not just 'powerful', or 'righteous', or 'wise'. Celestia is _the_ goddess. Nothing else will do. The Faceless believe Princess Celestia, 'Princess' meaning the pony visible on this planet until recently, is an avatar of Celestia. The two are not significantly different. Calling Celestia and Princess Celestia different people is like calling heads and tails different coins, so we use their names interchangeably.
Spike: I think I have another question, then.

>>Why am I hearing more than one voice in my head?
>>Do you have any grossulars?

\\Good, I don't have to take the reins here wait crap again?!?! Fuck!!
Spike: Why am I hearing more than one voice in my head?
//Is this really the question I'm asking?
//The inductor pauses and lowers her head.
ID: Em... come again?
Spike: Everyone has an internal monologue, right? A train of thoughts going through their head in their own voice?
ID: Well, mine's in the voice of Princess Luna, but yes. You're hearing other voices?
Spike: Yeah. Well, one's the dragon instinct, a dragon thing; wouldn't expect you to know about it, but there are more than just that.
ID: Does one of them sound like your conscience?
//...I suppose Celestia would count as that, if I had to choose...
Spike: I guess so.
ID: Then listen to that, above all others. If it has led you here, it will lead you true. Although I really would get that checked out...
Spike: I also had amnesia at one point. Would that change anything?
ID: Em, how did you get amnesia?
Spike: I hit my head.
//The inductor raises her head and looks at me oddly.
ID: ...Have you seen a doctor?
//...I should really do that at some point.
Spike: ...Don't worry, it was a long time ago.
//Technically true.
ID: ...Okay. Was there anything else?

>>Do you have any grossulars?

\\This was really the one what the crap I wasted so much time--
Spike: Unless you have any grossulars, no; I think that's all. I'm ready to join the Faceless.
//She laughs.
ID: Well, I don't have any gems, but I do have this.
//Out of the satchel comes a silver, red, and purple cape, sized for a drakeling.
T: (Wow! I wasn't expecting that.)
Spike: Why do you have a clown's outfit?
ID: It's not--
Spike: If I also get the large squeaky shoes you have no idea how happy I will be.
ID: Most ponies get a veil when they join, see. Em, all ponies. But you're not a pony.
Spike: I've noticed that, actually.
T: (She's giving you _this_ and you're being rude?)
ID: Spike, you're a drakeling. And, considering the demographics of the Faceless and most of Equestria right now... a scarred purple drakeling with a black veil is not disguised. Dissolution of identity is one of our central tenets, and it must be achieved by stronger means.
Spike: (Is the cape filled with acid?)
ID: This is a magical cape which will turn you into a blur, like a smudge on the landscape. It also has a few more magical properties (which I don't claim to understand) which mean people don't realize that this happens, and will just treat you as whatever person they expected to be in your place.
Spike: Oh, right! My friend has one of these!
ID: ...It seems I will never cease to learn odd things about you, Spike.
T: (For what it's worth, I'm glad you consider me your friend.)
Spike: (What? No, Quine has one in his hoard.)
T: (...Really?)
Spike: (Messing. Best friends for life?)
T: (Aww, Spike! Of course!)
ID: But it's not up for me to judge. Herr Yyz meets with every person who joins Celestia's Faceless and she wants to meet with you.
Spike: What? She does?
ID: Yes. You'll be meeting in Canterlot in two hours.
//...No, no we won't.
Spike: Er, I'm not exactly sure if you're considering how far away Canterlot is...
ID: Nonsense. Canterlot has a teleportation beacon and I have the power to get you there.
Spike: Wow, you're really willing to do that for me?
//The inductor nods.
Spike: I don't really know what to say, thanks...
ID: You don't need to. Put on the cape, though. Canterlot is home to quite a lot of ponies, and some of them have very odd tastes.
Spike: Wha--
//Liking dragons is an 'odd taste'?
\\Trying to assault and abduct them is.
Spike: ...

The Drakeling puts on the displacement cape, blurring into a vague smudge of purple!

ID: ...Okay then. You're ready to meet Herr Yyz and enter the ranks of Celestia's Faceless officially.
Spike: Let's get going, then.
ID: In exactly ten seconds, I need you both to say, 'I am a moth to the City on the Hill'. I'll be spellcasting, so it will help me locate you. Do you understand?
Spike: Both, what--
T: I understand.
ID: Good! Start counting!

The Inductor closes her eyes and focuses, casting a spell!

Spike: (What are you doing?)
T: (Getting a free ride to Canterlot. Besides, she doesn't know who either of us are now. Just that we're supposed to be initiates.)
Spike: (You could teleport yourself!)
T: (I'm running kind of low on spell energy; this week's been a little rough.)
Spike: (Earlier you said you spent most of it eating cheese.)
T: (Protein helps accelerate magical rejuvenation. Besides, I'm meeting a good friend and I don't want to look stressed.)
Spike: (Won't she understand?)
T: (This girl makes me stressed enough.)
Spike: I am a moth to the City on the Hill!
T: I am a moth to the City on the Hill!

The Inductor speaks a word of power, forming symbols in the air! The Drakeling disappears! Twilight Sparkle disappears!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//I hit the ground, feet bouncing off the stone as I fall backwards. I'm in the middle of a glowing red circle, person-sized, in a dark brown room.
Announcement: PLEASE VACATE THE AREA SO OTHERS CAN TELEPORT IN. MOVE TOWARDS THE EXIT, THANK YOU.
//At the end of this small room, on open door leads to a hallway lit by candlelight. I step out, and a big unicorn with a briefcase immediately runs me over.
Businessicorn: Excuse me!
Spike: Woah!
//He squeezes by and continues down the hallway, towards the exit, outside daylight. I guess that's where I'm supposed to go?
Spike: People are so rude these days...
//IN DAYS PAST THEY WERE MUCH NICER TO DRAGONS. BECAUSE IF YOU WEREN'T YOUR FUCKING HEAD GOT TORN OFF AND WE PISSED DOWN YOUR NECK.
//I walk out into the light.
//People explode into view, from every angle.
Hurried Zebra: I must hasten now, oh dear/Or I will miss tea, I fear!
Visiting Stallion: You know, I'm happy we chose Canterlot. I heard Mountainville has a lot of dragons, and I get spooked easy.
Yellow Pegasus: But he hasn't talked to me in so long! I'm worried about him, I really am.
Loud Businessmare: Did you see the interview Princess Hazel did with the Equestrian Times? Wearing that dress?
Green Pegasus: Thankfully winds kept most of the ashes within the Valley of Death, or the fires could have spread further than they did.
//I'm in the dead middle of a courtyard, all of the sudden, having stepped out of a door that is no longer behind me. Canterlot Castle looms up the mountain. Everything here is made of marble and gold. What is this place?
Suited Pegasus: It would have been nice to still have some of Celestia's weather control.
Visiting Mare: (Darn, I really wanted to see if I could hook up with a dragon...)
Businessicorn: For a filly her age? A dress like that is extremely conservative, if not downright prudish!
Pink Pony: If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you have to trust your friends! He'll come around!
Yellow Pegasus: Ooooh, I hope so...
//Off in the distance, I see a pony with a veil holding a sign that says, 'Spike'. I start working my way towards her.
Yupponie: Where can I get a hay smoothie in this urban jungle?
Tall Zebra: Please forgive my forwardness, I must ask of you/My hotel room holds one, I hope you'd make it two?
Green Pegasus: Hah, yeah, see you Friday! Clear skies!
Pink Pony: Besides, who knows what kind of crazy thoughts somebody like him could have?
Loud Businessmare: Frankly, wearing a dress at all is too risque for a Princess! What happened to modesty through naturality? The body is nonsexual in nature!
//I reach the mare holding up the 'Spike' sign and ask:
Spike: What is it?
Visiting Stallion: And besides, Mountainville doesn't have an opera! I can't wait for tonight!
Visiting Mare: (At least I'll get to bang a singer...)
Veiled Mare with Sign: Sorry, I'm waiting for someone! I can't talk now!
Yellow Pegasus: But I'm worried, I'm worried, that someday I'm going to pick up the paper and see that headline, and I just--
Schoolteacher: Alright, kids! We've made it! Headcount! One, two, three, four...
Suited Pegasus: Clear skies! Say hi to your family for me! And tell me next time your cousin's making goulash!
//I can't hear myself think in this racket! Maybe I have to use that technique Quine taught me...
//Quine: I will teach you a technique, Spike, that you may find very useful to center yourself.
//Spike: Meditation? I already have Terrae Corpus, I'm not sure what else I can add...
//Quine: This is not a technique to mentally focus you, but to do so physically. Your ears, and eyes, and nose will be so sensitive that you will know only how to leave your surroundings exactly as they are -- and sense only what you have done.
//Spike: How is that helpful, shouldn't I hear and see everything?
//Quine: You will, but it will not be as loud. This is a great hunter's technique, as you will know how to move like the stillest air, and hear only your prey's increasing heartbeat. Give in to the flow around you, and breathe...
//Spike: 'Patatrin-Vikramana'?
\\What is that, Sanskrit?
//Quine: It is a technique once used by Bucket James himself, to sneak into Castle Canterlot and slay the last of Celestia's progeny. Use it well.
//Spike: Great...

The Drakeling breathes in and focuses, casting Patatrin-Vikramana! The Drakeling's step becomes as light as a feather!

//Suddenly, every conversation fades away into a small buzz, leaking away with final words:
Pink Pony: It hasn't happened yet. Trust me, they would have asked me to throw the party...
//Almost like magic, the hustle and bustle of activity around me is no longer registering. There's only me, the sign carrier, and our lack of conversation.
//I tap the carrier on the arm.
Spike: I am Spike.
VMS: What?!
//She's still having trouble hearing. I need to speak louder.
Spike: I am Spike! Why are you holding the sign?
//I feel a disturbance in the air behind me. It's probably nothing.
VMS: Oh! Herr Yyz will meet you at The Snaffler at three o'clock! Your name is on the reservation!
Spike: Uh, okay! Thanks! Is that all?
Blue Pegasus: (Is that)...
VMS: Yes! Now can you hold the sign? I have to repaint it for the next pony coming in!
Spike: Uh, I--

The Blue Pegasus taps The Drakeling on the shoulder with her right front hoof!
The Drakeling leaps away from the Blue Pegasus!

//Gaah what is that?!
\\Oh it's just a pegasus. Wow, this move must really make me jumpy--
//Celestia's wings it's Rainbow Dash!
RBD: Hey! Are you Spike?
Spike: No!

The Drakeling starts to run!

RBD: Hold on!

//Rainbow Dash tries to push through the crowd, but it's too thick to chase me -- this technique lets me see exactly where to step and jump to move through people, like swimming through a river. Eventually, I go too far, and she stops chasing.
RBD: I swear, his body language looked like... but I can't see him now.
//Good! Leave me alone! Crazy stalking bint...

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//For its name, The Snaffler is a fancier restaurant than I thought. Here I imagined a dim inn with cozy, low ceilings. This is an open-air flower garden overlooking most of Canterlot, with dinner tables placed every so often, and cobblestone floor. I think I can see the teleportation courtyard from here. Waiters and waitresses are dressed in suits, and unflinchingly polite.
//And the cape is getting in the way of my tail and how do people sit in these chairs for more than two minutes it's driving me crazy. I'd rather be standing. To distract myself, I start people-watching. Hold on, is that who I think it is?
//A unicorn with a white coat sits alone at a table for six. She is dressed in finery, but not too much of it. The menu is placed to the side, and I think she greeted the waiter by name. Must be a common patron, then. She mutters to herself:
White Unicorn: I did say two thirty, didn't I? I do hope there's not trouble keeping them up...
//Two thirty looks like a popular time to be having lunch. Waiters and waitresses are performing something between a dance and a sprint to keep up with everyone's orders. Everypony's orders; there are only ponies here. A party of four enters, and they start to look around.
\\Why does everyone look so uptight? Do fancy pants come with a stick in the seat?
Elegant Noblemare: Oh, Ms. Rarity! There you are!
//So she is the Avatar of Avarice. Hold on, Ms.? Who uses that anymore?
Rarity: Why, hello, Enola! It is marvelous to see you again; how are your husband and foals?
//The party starts sitting down at the table. The waiters hand them wine selections and scurry off.
EN: As well as could be; each is driving the other out of their minds!
//The laughter seems too practiced, and the smiles fade too quickly.
R: Good, good. There was no trouble on the road, I hope?
//One of the party guests bows her head.
Sorry Equine Looker: I'm afraid our tardiness is completely on me. I saw a design for a necklace in a store window which I would have sworn to Celestia herself was your own, so I just had to look.
R: Oh? What was the piece's name?
SEL: 'Absence in Pearl', also adorned with coral. I considered buying it as a gift, but I'd no idea whom for.
EN: Why, give it to a suitor, Selena.
//Selena blushes.
SEL: I'd need to find one, first.
EN: Nonsense, dear; any stallion in Canterlot would be lucky to have your interest. I'm sure Clark here would certainly agree.
//The one male pony at the table, dressed simply with an insignia hanging off his neck, says:
CLK: Uh, y-yeah--
//He then hastily starts drinking water.
R: Ah, Selena, it must be an impressive piece if it caught your eye, but I simply don't do anything in coral or pearl. My apologies.
SEL: Oh! I didn't know, I'm sorry.
R: Don't be, it's quite alright. I don't work with biological products.
//The bulbous unicorn with quite a few rings to her horn starts talking, slowly and loudly. She looks to be a friend of the Elegant Noblemare.
Drawling Fat Friend: Is that due to the interference effect, Rarity?
R: Yes, partly. I also never took a liking to using remains as a means of art. It seems a little... primitive.
//The waitress comes over and poses a polite question.
EN: We're waiting for one more, would you mind giving us some more time?
R: Actually, while we are waiting for one more, Kim is going to arrive a little late and said not to hold anything up on her account. Is everyone ready to order?
//Orders are taken and the waitress walks (nearly trots; it's busy) away.
R: Why, just a while back a good friend of mine from Port Fuscus sent me a perfume d'ambergris. It stood on my bureau a good long while.
CLK: Where is it now?
R: Improving the scent of the bottom of my trash bin!
//Laughter all around. It still sounds fake.
SEL: I just thought the name sounded so much like your recent work. 'Absence in Pearl'... it evokes the sea, a long voyage away from the comforts of home in search of a greater wealth. Like the pearls, open ocean is a common romantic symbol for beauty, but both are, up close, inhospitable and hostile wastelands...
R: Have you ever been on the ocean, dear?
SEL: No, but I'd very much love to.
EN: I believe our stallion here can tell you about it. Isn't it true that you spent most of your squirehood in the service of the Neighvy, Clark?
//He pulls on his heavy cape, looking a little hot. A scar under his wing can be seen briefly.
Cool Looking Knight: Yes, but I spent a lot of time in Castle Hipocam. I was only, uh, out to sea for about a year.
EN: A year! Why, I couldn't imagine what it could possibly be like to not see land for an entire year!
SEL: You meant cumulative, right?
//The Knight nods with an unsure movement and picks up his water again.
//A waiter coughs next to me. How long has he been standing there?
Waiter: Sir, would you like to order?
//The menu has been in my hands for about ten minutes and I haven't looked at it once.
Spike: Uh... do you have anything with meat in it?
//He pauses, and lowers his eyebrows.
\\Oh yeah, I'm still wearing the cape, he probably thinks I'm a pony... whoops!
Waiter: Rest assured, sir, this is a vegan restaurant. We offer no animal products of any sort.
Spike: Oh. I'll have the soup, then.
//I put the menu a little bit higher and try to listen again.
//The waiter coughs.
Waiter: _Which_ soup, sir?
Spike: Uh... forget it, just get me a coffee.
Waiter: How would you like your coffee, sir?
Spike: Black and boiling hot.
//The waiter closes his eyes and trots off somewhere. Finally.
DFF: I found your use of simplex noise to bypass the implications of leMoyne's secondary theorem in the infrared spectrum inspiring. I wanted to ask: would it be possible to shorten the targeted wavelength?
R: Ah, you mean, for some sort of scentless invisibility?
DFF: Or its equivalent. Traditional invisibility spells come with significant tells.
R: Lower the wavelength... I suppose it could be done, but with energy investment going as inverse of wavelength to the fifth...
DFF: Fifth? Forget I asked, then; I had thought your algorithm would be at most squared.
R: At first it was, but a close friend and associate showed me significant artifacts in the 5-F structure, and I simply couldn't have that.
DFF: I don't blame you! That's just a mage having pride in her work.
SEL: (Do you have any idea what they're talking about?)
CLK: (Not one bit.)
SEL: (Heheheh.)
EN: I did see the auction for the vest you are talking about, and I thought it fetched a very reasonable price. Four hundred thousand bits, all in all. Were you there?
DFF: Four hundred thousand, for one of Rarity's works? Better it stay unsold than attract that level of interest! Don't you agree?
R: I simply can't find the time or interest to attend auctions anymore.
EN: Oh, my! Has the Avatar of Avarice turned into the Avatar of Apathy?
R: If you're offering to make a small donation to raise my spirits, Enola, I'd kindly oblige...
//More laughter. Rarity checks a clock, and then looks over to the entrance of the restaurant.
R: I do believe that's her. Kim! Over here, Kim, this is our table!
//A small purple pony sees Rarity's waving hoof and smiles.
\\That's no Kim, that's Twilight!
Nervous Mare: Y-your coffee, s-sir. Hck.
//She drops the coffee on the table and turns away.
Spike: Get well soon, that sounds like a nasty--
//Hold the hell on--
Spike: Na-Mira?!
//Na-Mira, dressed in a waitress's outfit, turns back quickly.
Na-Mira: S-sir, how do you know my name?
Spike: Na-Mira, it's me, Spike!
//She widens her eyes, and steps closer by a little, wiggling her fangs. I take off the cape.
Na-Mira: Spike! It's you!
//She grabs me and gives me a hug. I'm still halfway through taking off the cape...
Spike: Gee, thanks! I never thought you'd miss me this much.
//I extract myself from the hug. 'Swings, she's still as cold as ice...
N-M: Of course I missed you, hihihihi! But I knew you'd come back for me!
Spike: Na-Mira, I'm here to meet someone important, but until then I want to keep a low profile. Is it okay if we talk after that?
N-M: Of course! My shift ends at three thirty. I'll be waiting for you outside!
Spike: You really work here?
N-M: Hck, duh! You were gone for a month, so I had to find something to do!
//She trots off, fangs wiggling happily. I guess if I were more sensitive, I'd feel bad for throwing myself boldly into danger when people like Na-Mira care about me so much...
//BUT YOU ARE TOTALLY OKAY WITH HURTING THEM IN THE NAME OF GETTING FUCKED. DO YOU REALIZE WHAT A TERRIBLE PERSON YOU ARE?
R: Selena, Enola, Clark, Daffi, this is Kim. She's a very good friend of mine.
Twilight: Nice to meet all of you!
DFF: We were just talking about one of Rarity's works, a vest that distorts the infrared emanations of its wearer.
T: Oh? I've been having trouble with some snakes recently.
//Rarity chuckles.
EN: Do you dabble in the magical arts, dear?
//Twilight gives Rarity a quick glance.
T: Ha-ha, I've been known to cast a spell or two. Nothing on Rarity's level, though.
R: You flatter me, Kim! Enola, if it weren't for Kim I wouldn't know half of what I do about artifact design.
T: (That makes me sound like a teacher.)
R: (You are a teacher, Twilight.)
DFF: A unicorn who advises Rarity in magical matters is a unicorn to know. Well met, Mrs. Kim.
T: Oh, just Miss.
SEL: Sorry for asking, but could I ask where you're from, Miss Kim?
T: ...Any reason why?
SEL: You know, never mind. I thought you looked familiar.
T: Oh, it's no problem! I grew up here in Canterlot, but I lived in the Forlegsandria area for some time.
CLK: Forlegsandria? I'm from Forlegsandria!
SEL: Maybe that's where I recognized both of you from. I've never been the best with names, but I never forget a face...
//Selena leans in, inspecting Twilight as the conversation goes on.
R: (Sometimes I wish I could.)
T: (Enough.)
R: (Yet you should know how it feels, Twilight, for a Princess to give you shining wings and then for her to tear them away from you--)
T: So? Have you ordered yet?
EN: Yes, my dear, we've decided to have the piments au safran. Wild food for wild company, I say!
//Laughter all around.
T: O? Parlez-vous fancais?
EN: Non, I'm afraid, it's just a little habit I've picked up.
R: I understand how that tale goes, Enola; Kim here certainly influenced more than my fashion sense when I was younger.
T: (Now you're making me sound old!)
R: (Twilight, dear, you are old.)
T: That's a funny story, actually. If you look through my dresser, it's a perfect chronological ordering of Rarity's fashion tastes over time.
R: Oh, dear, please don't embarrass me! Let those dreadful things gather dust, trapped in the highest room of the tallest tower of Castle Canterlot, where they belong!
//Laughter around the table, but Selena leans in further.
SEL: That's it! I think I've seen you in the Castle before. I know I have.
//Twilight shrugs.
T: When I was a filly, I loitered around the Castle for hours after school, trying to get a glimpse of Princess Celestia. ...But that's the last time I can remember I was there. Sorry.
R: (I'm still unclear to whether you have an infatuation with princesses, or just Celestia. Recent events have not helped clarify.)
T: ('Swings, I haven't heard this before. Shove it up your wid--)
CLK: Hey, the food's here!
//Two servers put down a long serving plate, and distribute smaller plates to everyone. I try to keep listening, but can't hear anything over the clatter of dishes and the commotion of eating. Oh well.
//As I turn back to my full coffee, I hear what sounds like the voice of a haughty yuppie.
Haughty Yuppie: Excuse me? Are you Spike?
Spike: Huh?
//A pony with black fur sits down across from me. A small cloth square covers her cutie mark, and a leather mask with zippers covers her face. Regions of it are discolored.
//...Ew.
Spike: Are you, uh, Herr Yyz?
//I hope I pronounced that right.
Herr Yyz: I am. I see you have the inductor's cape. Wise of her to give it to you.
Spike: No, I'm just borrowing it. You can send it back, right?
HY: It's a gift. Keep it.
//Uh, okay, that's kind of forward...
Spike: So, uh, I was told I needed to meet you to enter Celestia's Faceless.
HY: Yes. Do you want to join Celestia's Faceless?
Spike: Yeah.
HY: Good. You are now one of the Faceless.
//...What?
Spike: Is that it?
HY: Usually I have a speech prepared for when groups join. You don't seem like one for speeches.
Spike: I meant, is that all I really have to do? I thought there'd be, I don't know, some sort of test?
HY: If you understand what the Faceless is about and want to join, those are the only tests. Membership is voluntary.
Spike: ...Okay, then.
HY: Why is it, though, that you wanted to join the Faceless? Dragons aren't our usual fare.
//...This pony is extremely straightforward. It's like subtlety and tact are just words in the dictionary that have two of the letter t.
Spike: ...I want all civilized people to understand Celestia's power, and I want that understanding to be the dominant force in Equestria, before anything else.
//IS THAT HOW YOU DECIDED TO PUT "EQUALITY AND REGICIDE" BECAUSE THAT'S A BITCH WAY OUT YOU SORRY SHITHEAD
HY: ...Really? It seems like you've thought about how to say that.
//...Every damn person in this world has lie-detecting powers!
\\Or maybe you're a terrible liar.
HY: You look hardened.
//...Excuse me?
HY: Tell me about your battles. Maybe then, I'll figure out what we can do together.
Spike: ...
HY: No, I don't mean sex. I left that life behind me.
//After a bit of hesitation, I start telling Herr Yyz my story. She does nothing but listen.

Spike: And, well, that's that. I came here.
//I was vague about the parts with Twilight, the forest fire, and Osto Bacchus, but besides that I basically just told someone my life story. Now that it's out there... it sounds kind of dumb.
//Herr Yyz nods her head.
HY: Celestia really did tell you to overthrow the Princess?
Spike: Yeah. What does that mean?
HY: It means you have to overthrow the Princess.
Spike: Hold on, you're--
HY: Encouraging you? Yes. I believe Celestia really did tell you that, and her decrees are the orders of a goddess. They cannot be ignored.
Spike: So what do I do?
HY: You should go to Ponyville, as Quine advised you. Wear the cape when you are there, and only refer to yourself as a Hero. This will remove your identity, and you will be a better Hero for it.
Spike: I still confront Fluttershy?
HY: Why not? She can, if Quine is correct, cure your dying curse. And she is one of the Avatars, holder of the Element of Kindness. You will be twenty percent closer to your goal of meeting with Hazel. And if you cure your friend Kezno as well, you'll advance dragonkind.
Spike: ...Okay. I think I understand now.
//Herr Yyz smiles. It would look odd even without the mask.
HY: It must seem like I'm rushing you. I'm sorry for that.
Spike: Rushing me? I just spent an hour telling you my life story. We're not rushing anywhere.
//The table where Rarity and Twilight sat is empty now. The Snaffler is a lot less busy.
HY: Yes, but I would like to give you a proper initiation soon, instead of just your acceptance of our mantle. After you receive the Element of Kindness, come back to Canterlot. We can discuss more then.
//Herr Yyz stands up. Neither of us actually ordered more than coffee, but she tosses down a few bits.
Spike: Wait! You're leaving?
HY: It is a busy week. Now that Celestia is no longer in Equestria, her duties fall to us. I will see you again, Spike.
//She trots off, head held high. Several of the waiters glance at her, and secretly make faces.
Spike: ...Huh. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't that.
//I take a sip of the coffee, finally, even though it's cold.
Spike: Blech ttpppb--
//And spit it out.
Spike: What the crap, people drink this for fun? It's terrible!
//I walk out of the restaurant, disappointed.

//Na-Mira is waiting for me as I walk out, cape over my arm.
N-M: Spike, it's rude to keep a lady waiting.
Spike: Oh, sorry, who's waiting for me?
//I smile and hug Na-Mira, as she snorts (how does she do that?).
N-M: After I was sent here, I couldn't find out what happened to you at all.
Spike: I was training with Quine. I only got there because of your help, so, thanks, Na-Mira.
N-M: Hihi, it was nothing.
Spike: You work for The Snaffler now, as a waitress?
N-M: Yeah! At first, they kept me in the back cleaning dishes because... I think the word they used was 'freak'? But now I'm a waitress! (Every so often.) I never even knew a fancy thing like a restaurant existed, and now I'm working in one! Whoever made Canterlot knew what they were doing.
//Oh yeah, Na-Mira is from the past. I forgot about that.
Spike: ...I don't think they planned what restaurants would be like seven hundred years in the past, Na-Mira.
N-M: Their loss! The future is so cool!
Spike: This isn't the future, it's the present.
N-M: Hck, to you.
Spike: So, what did you want to talk to me about?
N-M: After we got separated, I thought the pony who cast that spell would try to come after me, since she did try to kill me before.
Spike: It was just a misunderstanding.
N-M: Hck, excuse me if I don't think so! I did some digging about that pony, Twilight Sparkle, to try to figure out who she was.
//What?!
Spike: You did?!
N-M: ...Should I not have?
Spike: Na-Mira, that's amazing! I've been asking everyone who she is!
//Maybe now I can figure out if what Rarity said in Longbridge Nights is true or not.
N-M: You were traveling with her, and you don't know who she is?
Spike: Uh... no. I mean, I know a little, but...
N-M: Twilight Sparkle is a unicorn from Canterlot, who moved to Ponyville under the command of Princess Celestia. She had a purple dragon with her when she was a student, but I haven't heard anything more about that.
Spike: Uh, yeah, that was me.
N-M: ...Then shouldn't you be telling me this?
Spike: Na-Mira, I lost my memory.
//Does she not remember anything?
N-M: ...Oh yeah.
//Silly fanged bint.
N-M: Eventually, she got a doctorate's degree in something or other which I don't remember. It was mathy and magicky and long. Her thesis was... oh, what was it... 'Thaumically-Chained Spheres in Flat Banach Spaces'?
//She can remember that but not that I have amnesia?
N-M: After that, the trail kind of goes dark. I mean, the general idea is there: she has powerful friends and adventures and is close to Princess Celestia in some way, shape, or form.
Spike: 'Close'? Is that what she was complaining about...
N-M: Like I said, there's no information. Rumors even mention she had wings at some point, but--
Spike: _Wings_?!
//Like a pegasus? That just sounds dumb!
N-M: They say her wings disappeared along with Celestia.
//Why would that be true?
Spike: That rumor must be false.
N-M: Anyway, there's no documents on her until a few weeks after Celestia disappears. The dragon Opterix attacked Ponyville, a town with no defenses at the time.
//No documents? That can't be right... Quine said there was a coronation of some sort.
Spike: And she defeated it?
N-M: Battle records list four people killed at Ponyville on that day. Three of them have the last name 'Sparkle', and one is Opterix.
Spike: What?!
//No way, no damn way, not in hell--
//I FUCKING TOLD YOU YOU SHIT NOW LISTEN TO ME
Spike: But Twilight isn't dead!
N-M: Right, so I looked for family. But she only has a brother, who's captain of the guard at Canterlot Castle, so... it had to be her and her parents. They were known as powerful magicians in their time.
//How can this be true? Even a powerful dragon couldn't take on Twilight with two other mages...
Spike: So she faked her death.
N-M: I think so. And I think the rumor she had wings is a little more significant than just a rumor.
Spike: What?
N-M: Think about it. How rare are alicorns?
Spike: Uh...
//I don't know. I have amnesia.
Spike: Rare, I guess?
N-M: Right. Who's the only pony known or rumored to have wings after being born otherwise? Twilight Sparkle. Who is a unicorn of immeasurable power on battle record as dying nineteen months ago but is clearly not dead? Twilight Sparkle. What alicorn appears only three days after the fake death of Twilight Sparkle? _Princess Hazel_.
//...
Spike: Na-Mira--
N-M: Immensely powerful sorceress? Known as a strict organizer and leader? Alicorn from out of nowhere? Knows the Princess's knights by name? Remember when you burnt down--
Spike: Yeah, skip that part--
N-M: And what she cared about was the big picture, how it would impact all of Equestria?
Spike: She also cared about the dead people.
N-M: This is the only explanation that makes sense, Spike. Your friend, Twilight Sparkle, is really Princess Hazel! She has been all along!
//That's impossible.
//WHO CARES KILL THEM BOTH.
Spike: No. I refuse to believe it.
//I just asked Twilight to be best friends with me forever. Even if it was a joke, I consider her a good friend... maybe the only friend I have. Besides Na-Mira. I don't want to imagine she's the person Celestia told me I have to kill...
//WHY IS IT 'KILL' WHEN IT'S YOUR FRIEND AND 'DEFEAT' WHEN IT'S YOUR OPPONENT?
//You?! What do you know about this?
//I KNOW YOU'RE AN IDIOTIC ASSHOLE AND THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME. GET FUCKING GOING.
//I can't believe the person I'm traveling with is the one I'm destined to defeat...
N-M: Believe it or don't. I'm not completely sure myself, but it's something you should keep in mind. You're in the presence of royalty! Isn't that amazing?!
Spike: Uh, yeah, pretty amazing. Listen, Na-Mira, if you could not tell anyone else about this--
N-M: Well, yeah, no one else knows who your friend is anyway.
Spike: Na-Mira, thanks. I'll think about this, I promise, but now I have to go back to Hero things. The life of a drakeling is in danger and I'm the only one who can save him.
N-M: Wait! Don't you want me to find out something else?
//...I forgot about that too! Wow, I've been away for a long time.
Spike: You have a life now. You have a job and... I'm sure friends.
N-M: Not really. Not besides you. All my friends are dead, remember?
Spike: Still, I don't want to take this away from you.
N-M: Are you kidding? How am I going to see the world from the inside of a kitchen?! You're still a Hero, and as long as you can use my help I'm here for you.
//HOW FUCKING SWEET. GET HER KILLED WITH YOUR INSANE DESIRES, WHY DON'T YOU.
Spike: Uh, okay. Rainbow Dash seems to be following me. Can you find out more about her? I want to know who I'm up against.
N-M: Sure! Information gatherer Na-Mira is on the job!
//She drops her waitress uniform at her hooves and gallops off, leaving me alone with my cape and train ticket to Ponyville (Herr Yyz gave me it). The afternoon bell strikes, welcoming in the darkness.
//...Time to get moving, I guess.

//Night train to Forlegsandria. I'm sitting across from an old mare who is getting on my nerves.
Old Mare: Hoof! It smells like one o' them scalescum in here. They could do a better job o' cleaning these compartments, I say.
Spike: I'm going to try to get some sleep.
//Though mostly I hope she just shuts up.
//I put my brown cloak over myself and lie down on the seat. I can already tell I'm not going to get any...
//...

C: Spike.
//Huh. With the rumbling, this must be that dream everyone talks about of the train going through the tunnel. Am I supposed to be inside the train? That seems kind of weird.
Spike: Go away, puberty fairy.
C: You've passed that mark. And I am no creature of whimsy.
//Wait...
Spike: Celestia!
C: Yes. It is I.
Spike: Oh, Celestia, I have dedicated myself to your worship, and want to work to advance your glory through all of Equestria!
C: For that I am glad, my Spike. If you see to it that you are loyal to me, and not to others, reward can be your only end.
Spike: Not to others? You mean I shouldn't work with the Faceless?
C: It is as Quine said, little one. Religious organizations can be helmed by different captains, and sailed in different directions. You mean to do this in my name, as I see it; Herr Yyz would lead them by what she believes me to be. But there are more important topics now.
Spike: What is it, O Celestia?
C: You must awaken. Buffalo mean to take the train and abduct its passengers for ransom. These radicals have blocked the train's path with tree trunks. They will kill you, or worse, if they find you here. There are too many for you to deal with, so you must escape.
Spike: What? I can't just run away! The crash will kill people, and the survivors will be kidnapped!
C: If I told you how to save them and yourself, would the act hold any meaning?
//...I guess not.
C: Awaken, Hero. Learn what 'fight or flight' means.