"This is the worst plan you've ever had." complained David.

"What's not to like? I'll be disguised as Iron and infiltrate the dormant volcano they call a base."

"What are you going to do when you infiltrate the volcano?" asked Niko.

"You see. I'm going to show them my prisoners and then they will escort me to the cells, I get Luna, and leave."

"Prisoners?" asked David.

"Yeah. You and Niko."

"Oh hell no! I can't do that!" said David.

"Showtime." I said tapping his shoulder and walking to the door where the doctor ponies where making the fake costume that would cover my appearance. It was a magical outfit that even the face showed emotion. All I had to do was put on some fake black armor and put on a voice changer and BLAM instant Cold Iron.

40 minutes later

We met up outside of the castle for a carriage to take us to the outskirts of the base where no one would see us.

"What do you guys think?" I asked them.

"Considering I want to stab your ass... pretty good." said Niko.

"Don't talk to your commander that way!" I yelled at him.

"How do you know he's a commander?" asked David.

"Didn't you see the white and red stamp on his armor?"

"No."

"It meant commander. I know. I was a mercenary once."

We got in the carriage and it took a good 10 minutes till we stopped. The mic/ map I had displayed that Cold Iron just left the base.

"Alright guys." I said still in my new voice. "Hooves out. I need to cuff you."

"Aw... not cool."

"Stop whining David." said Niko. "It's only a potential death. Nothing more."

"Uh..." We both stopped to think about it. I couldn't move the fake steel wings I had on my back so we had to walk it. Outside a large group of griffon and pony soldiers greeted us. They spread out left and right and formed a path for us to walk in. I pulled my 'prisoners' till we got to the entrance.

[This is so fucking rad.]
<Is it me or do I feel more like an asshole?>
{I want to kick a puppy now because I'm a sophisticated evil assfMEOWk.}
[Ooh! Look! A bitch who thinks he's tough! Well not when we kick his ass for taking Luna!]
<Quiet. I want to hear what they tell us. We need information.>
{I'll keep an eye out.}

"Commander." said a pony who meet us outside. Mare by the sound. She had a grey coat and short military cut hair. Kinda pretty though... hmm... the oddest things you think of when your undercover.

"Wassup?" I asked her.

"Uh..." she responded. "I see you got more prisoners. We'll escort them to the jail cells." Two guards came up and grabbed the cuffs on David and Niko.

"You asshole!" cried David. A guard smacked him and yelled "Don't look at the commander!"

I shrugged my shoulders and mouthed 'Sorry.'

"Come with me Iron. I need to show you something." she said escorting me inside. When we walked in I was just blown away by how organized they were. They had a futuristic base on the inside of a volcano! This is so cool! It'd be a shame to blow up.

"Permission to speak?" she asked.

"Uh... uh... Permission acknowledged."

"I really need to speak with you in private." We continued walking around the base. "Don't be nervous around me. What happened that night should continue my love."

<Let's totally fuck with him.>
{I know just what to say to ruin his reputation.}

"I like men." I told her.

"Oh..." Her mouth immediately shuttered up and closed.

"Have you broken the prisoner yet?" I asked her.

"She hasn't spoken sir."

"Good girl."

"Excuse me?"

"Huh?"

"Did you say good girl?"

"Oh... uh... Yeah I want to talk to her myself."

"Understood sir." We walked upstairs. "How did you capture those 2?"

"I found them spying so I took the measures upon myself to... uphold them."

"Excellent job... sir." I don't feel sorry worth a damn Iron is a douche! I hope she dumps his ass.

[Tell me about it. Iron is a total dick.]
<I hate him more than Jersey Shore.>
{Oh snap! Oh... Beta! You had better pick it up man. Alpha just set a new low.}
[I'll think of one.]

We made our way outside of the prison blocks and she pressed her hoof against the scanner to open it. Before we went in she got a call and a hologram appeared from the wall.

"Break. I'm on my way home. Meet me later okay? Love ya." It sounded like Iron.

"So that's your name." She pulled a gun on me and fired lasers at me. "Lasers? Really! I need to step my game up!" I twisted and gave her a back smack. When she was down I grabbed her and picked her up to carry with me.

[Yeah let's hit a bitch. Great plan.]
{Shut up and scan her gun! We could use lasers!}
<On it.>

I summoned the guitar and I turned Beta into a trench knife and kept him in my pocket. I turned Alpha into a laser pistol and made my way into the prison cells.

"Turn yourself in!" commanded a griffon at the end of the hall. I stuck my head out to see and he fired at me. I twisted around and shot him in the head.

"That's 1." I walked in deeper and found Niko in a cell. I took the unconscious mare's hoof and pressed it against the scanner releasing him.

"About damn time." said Niko walking to the dead griffon and taking the rifle. "Let's get the others."

We walked further in and one tried to ambush me. I quickly drew Beta and stabbed him in the upper part of his head.

"Damn!" said Niko.

"How about you do something?" I asked him. He twisted around and started gunning down an army. I saw about 17 fall dead.

"Oh shit... You got this!" I left him and found David in another cell. I put Break's hoof on the scanner and freed him.

"Thank god your here Dustin. They were about to figure out who I was."

"Do you know where Luna is?"

"Upstairs in the torture room." he said. "Do you have an idea or do we kill all these fuckers?"

"That is my idea." Only us humans dare to get our hands dirty. For a better future.
<I don't see a pony killing.>
[Didn't we read Fallout: Equestria?]
{Yeah we did. Are you comparing me to Little Pip?}
<Not at all.>

I made my way upstairs and found the large room where Luna was waiting by herself in. She looked fine. I used the scanner and dropped Break of so I could move around some more.

"You again?" she asked. "I told you once I'm not saying anything."

"Luna it's me! Niko, David, and I came in to get you out."

"Oh thank the moon its you Dustin."

"Yeah now let's get you out of there." She ran out and we all regrouped.

'Warning. Warning. We have an intruder.' said the intercom. 'The intruder is disguised as commander Cold Iron. Repeat shoot Cold Iron on sight. Except the real Iron. Let's keep him alive please. Thank you.' It sounded like Nightmare.

"Let's kill her now while we're here." said Niko.

"We didn't come here for that. We got what we did come here for though so let's leave." said David.

"He's right Niko. Let's go home!" We ran into the garage and locked the door behind us so they couldn't come in. I looked around and saw a bunch of human vehicles built for ponies and griffons. "No way..." we were all surprised. "Scan some stuff guys!"

[Like what?]
{Like the motorcycle and the jet.}
<Just those two? Okay.>

"What do we take?" asked David.

"How about this one?" asked Luna. She pointed to the large jet with a large back for holding many troops.

"Alright! Good eye!" I got in the cockpit with Niko. David got in the back with Luna.

"You know how to fly this?" asked David.

"Yeah!" both Niko and I said. He had control of the guns and I had the jet.

"Alright Niko! Blow those doors down!" I pointed to the hanger doors. He shot the cannon ripping the entire wall out.

"Okay. Not the door. But it will do." he said.

"They have this much firepower?!" I asked grabbing the throttle stick. I flew out of the building and we looked at the screen on our right that showed what was behind us. I saw a bunch of soldiers, Break, Iron, and Nightmare running and stopping cold in our tracks. Niko handed me the speaker microphone. "Suck on that you bastards! FMEOWk you!"

"Did you just meow like a kitten?" asked Niko.

"Don't want to talk about it. David hows it going back there?" I asked. No respond.

"We did close the door back there right?"

"Yeah. Don't worry. We got a camera." I switched between the different screens and we stopped on the one of both of them making out in the back. "Oh!"

"Jeez! Isn't he already dating her sister?!"

"Oh my god!" I grabbed the microphone. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Ah!" they both jumped.

"Don't tell my sister please!"

"She can read minds!" Niko said in it. "I know. She's done it before."

"Me too. She gave me a curse so when ever I say the f-word I... you know... fMEOWk."

"That is too cute to be a curse." said David.

"Your in no position to flatter me mister." I told him. Then I cut off the radio and watched as they went right on back to making out.

[What if he marries both Luna and Celestia?]
<Never gonna happen.>
{Don't tell me they do... incest...}
<Aw don't put that image in our head bro!>

"Dustin." said Niko tapping me no the shoulder. "What if the sisters do incest?"

"I was just thinking that. There's no way that would happen."

"Wanna bet?"

"No. If I do bet it's going to be that they do."

"I bet 40 bits that they don't."

"Your on."

[Vinyl spent most of our money!]
{No she didn't! We didn't have much to begin with and all she got was some materials to build a new sound board.}
<And those glasses.>
{She had hers repaired. She just picked them up.}
<Oh... Than... Celestia should pay us more!>
[Let's hope we win this bet first.]

"Passengers..." said Niko on the intercom "We are landing in Canterlot. Please make sure all your belongings are with you when you leave. Thank you."

"How do I cut this off?" I asked him.

"How did you cut it on?"

"I just flicked switches up."

"Flick them down." I did as was told and the engine stopped. "Was that hard?"

"Yeah... it's still on." We looked around and noticed that all the lights were still on. "Here we go. Off button." I pushed it and the engine died.

"Whatever." We left and were surrounded by a crowd of people. "Whoa!"

"Easy easy." I pushed them away gently and walked to the back. I opened it and let David and Luna out. Still can't believe what I saw though...

"Great job David!" said Celestia. Niko and I stood their without getting noticed by anybody. We did all the work!

"We did all the work!" said Niko.

"I know!"

"Now boys. Calm down." said Twilight.

"What?" we asked in unison.
[<What?>]

"Don't be jealous." said Applejack.

"Fine..." We both crossed our arms and looked between David and Luna. "We still can blackmail them."

"Aw yeah." He said offering a bro-hoof.

"You two... can you keep the secret to yourselves?" asked David turning away from the cameras.

"I don't know... How about you Red?" We still have to keep our identity in public.

"Anything could happen Bass. Anything."

"We might end up putting it in Red's paper."

"Great idea! Wouldn't you agree Luna?"

"No..."

"Yes? Okay. You said so." Niko and I chuckled silently.

"What do you want?" asked Celestia. "I'm already aware of what happened."

"Your pretty rude.for a princess. Always digging in people's heads."

"I don't have a problem sharing Sight with my sister. Right Luna?"

"Not at all Tia." We both remained quiet. I held my left hoof out and he placed 40 bits in it. I put it in my pocket and noticed why the crowd kept on staring at me awkwardly.

"Oh yeah!" I grabbed the mask and ripped it off. "It's me!" They all smiled and took pictures of me.

"Bass!" yelled Vinyl. "What were you doing!"

"Saving the princess sweetie." She pinned me against the jet.

"My my... what a hero."

"Does the hero get a reward?"

"Yes, love." She said pressing her lips against mine. It was a victory kiss! Whoo!

"I need a girl." said Niko. I pointed to Octavia. "What? Why would someone as nice and fancy as her go out with a monster like me?" I pointed to her again still not breaking the kiss. "Should I try?" I pointed again. "Alright." He walked over and started talking to her. Brave fella.

<Let's make this night even better!>
[Oh yeah. Gonna make some music!]
{Yeah? Just like that?}
[...]
<...ass...>

Vinyl and I turned to see Celestia and Luna leave. Soon the crowd left and a bunch of pegasus guards wrapped chains around the jet and took it to engineering to be taken apart and scanned.

"Hey Vinyl. Wanna try something out?"

"What?" I turned the guitar into a futuristic motorcycle without wheels. I got on it and she sat on my lap.

"I also scanned a jet." The cycle started flying and we went up above the castle.

"Whoa!"

"You ever fly before?"

"Yeah but not like this!"

"Just kiss me." She smiled and wrapped around me. I felt her ripping all the armor off of me and opening the suit.

"Can't stand to see you dressed like him." she said.

"Neither can I. Wanna go home?"

"It's cold up here."

"Hahaha.... Alright. To bed!" I grabbed the handlebars and flew to our window. She used her magic to open it from the inside and we got off the cycle and went in. I turned Clementine back into the guitar and placed it against the wall.

"Ready?"

"Ready." One last kiss till I killed the lamp light. Hell of a night. Right? See what I did there? I rhymed like... 3 times! Yeah!