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The Strange Case Of Doctor Pinkie And Miss Diane

by Arreis Of Avalon

Chapter 1: Laughter

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Pinkamena Diane Pie was her full name. She went by a better name, however, a more laughable name - Pinkie Pie, party planner extraordinaire. She always enjoyed a good laugh – But that was so hard to come by sometimes. She struggled to make ponies laugh, every day. But as time went on, Pinkie Pie realized something – What if she could make ponies laugh naturally? Bring out a part of them that makes them laugh, makes them happy?

To do so would be hard, certainly. She thought about it night and day for years. Ever since she came to Ponyville, ever since she had left her home after struggling to bring laughter, she had thought about that fact. How could she make ponies laugh without physically making them laugh? It didn’t take long for her to form a plan.

She had gone to school, and she knew the science behind it all. Emotions all come from chemicals in the mind. So what if she could mix up a potion, a drug, that made those chemicals stand out forever? Then they could be like her forever – She could be the Element of Laughter every day. She would ALWAYS be laughing – Nopony would ever be sad again!

After she came to Ponyville, she met as many ponies as she could. She asked for things that nopony had ever asked for at one time – But all were given to her in time. Nopony came to question her in time – It was always just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. Chemicals were taken without anypony truly caring – Just so long as she didn’t blow up town hall (Which only happened once, and Madam Mayor forgave her just as soon as the ash cleared up and the building was re-built).

Everything that was given to her was used up in various potions and elixars. She combined them in ways she never thought possible, experimenting in the basement of Sugarcube Corner. Nopony came to look for her down there. Nopony ever came to the basement. (And this way, Pinkie noted, town hall was left undamaged).

She combined chemicals without truly knowing what said chemicals did. She made duds often – strangely enough, sometimes they ever turned into cupcakes. Ponies had many stories what she did down there – again, strangely enough, mostly about cupcakes. “Why do they always go for the cupcakes,” Pinkie asked herself. “I don’t get it either, miss narrator lady.”

Despite the strangeness she found from drinking said potions – one such example as hearing voices that were not there, narrating her every action – she continued her experiments. She knew she could create something that would bring out the other side of a pony, the smiling, bubbly side. It became her obsession – Her Element took over her entire life. She was always bubbly and happy, trying to see if she could elicit the same feelings from others.

However, it might have been seen as a façade by some, if they could see what she did in her basement, alone. She was bubbly, yes. She was laughter, yes. But she was also something else. When she experimented, she became somepony else entirely. Doctor Pinkie would experiment, and the universe itself bowed at her hooves as she bent it’s laws for her purposes.

It was one such night that the story of Pinkie Pie truly began. Deep in her lab in the dark of night, she mixed potions haphazardly, hoping beyond hope that she was close. Her last few potions had certainly made her a bit gigglier, but had come with a bitter aftertaste. That happiness had quickly faded. “Just a few more formulas,” Pinkie said softly to herself, ignoring the tiredness weighing her down.

Careful as ever, Pinkie gently poured together two potions. She smiled at the mixture turned a sort of purple-pink. “That’s a good sign… I think…” With a small smile, she began to stir up the potion. “I suppose I can try it soon…” She set down the beaker, sighing. She had mixed up so many potions. She was beginning to lose hope. “Perhaps… Perhaps I should end this madness soon…”

She turned, looking into the mirror. She had dark circles under her eyes – Too many late nights. Her mane was poofed up, as it always was, but it seemed to hang tiredly on her head. Her fur was stained with various potions. She saw this and washed herself off a bit while she let her formula rest. As she finished, her eyes were drawn once more to the mirror.

Another side-effect of all this potion tasting was strange music, seemingly from nowhere, beginning to play. Pinkie heard it now, a questioning little chord starting the music.

Is all my work - all my effort in vain, she asked the mare in the mirror, glad for the soundproofing on the walls around her.

Are these trials to end in my pain?

These potions failing, turning black

Just tell me… What’s the thing my Laughter lacks?

Pinkie turned, looking at her journal. In it, all her failures at potions over the years had been written. Explosions, mane changes, even color swaps had happened. I’ve worked so hard, in the darkest night

Deep in my labs, down below…

The tale of Doctor Pinkie Pie, she said with a small chuckle,

Must remain secret… Only I must know.

They’d only see my failures and regrets…

They’d scorn and judge me so…

And so, here I’ll stay, I guess

And simply know… It isn’t so…

My potions… She sighed. They’re all a mess…

She turned once more to the mirror. She smiled softly, and the mare smiled back, as though to ask, ‘Why so downy and frowny, Pinkie Pie?’

“That’s right,” she said softly, smiling. “I AM Pinkie Pie… It’s my duty, not only to make other ponies laugh, but to make myself happy as well… And what would make me the most happy right now… is to make that potion!” With a large grin, she spun to the potion waiting for her.
Iiiiiii’ll

Confess, I digress, put this ‘mess’ to the test!

It’s my time to shine, the best of the best!

Everypony around will smile in glee

All because of ME!

Doctor Pinkiiiiiie

Grinning, Pinkie picked up the beaker. This is the moment, the die will be cast

As I drink of this potion, I’ll drink of the past!

My failures have led me to this, my victory

And noooow~

Pinkie laughed out loud as she poured the potion into a sterile glass. Now is my chance…

To show them

How far I’ve advanced!

From forever before, and henceforth hereafter,

The name to remember

Pinkie – The one full of Laughter!

With almost a mad cackle, Pinkie lifted her glass. “To Laughter,” she toasted to nopony in particular. Tilting the glass back, she finished the drink in a single gulp, the magenta liquid tinting her already pink lips a darker magenta. She licked off the sweet mixture as though it were honey. “Now… To record my findings…”

Author's Notes:

Edited mostly by DrakeFang (He edited the original draft~)
Also, I counted - Other than lyrics, there are EXACTLY 1,001 words in this, so hopefully that didn't break any rules this time
All of the music is done originally by me, so you can't find a recording of it anywhere. Terribly sorry.

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