After that, things got… fuzzy… and disjointed… I’ll relate it in the order I remember.

The sun was shining its morning light softly through the window; it struck my eyes in just such a way that I woke up almost instantly albeit groggily. I grumbled a bit and ducked my head under the covers, trying in vain to hide from the light, it hurt my eyes and I was desperate for a few more moments of blissful and uninterrupted sleep. There was nothing for it though, I was awake and I was staying that way it seemed. I kicked the covers off and slid drowsily onto the floor with a dull and melodramatic *thump*. I heard something creak in the background as I indulged my petulance a little longer and lay there on my belly, unwilling to move after being roused so suddenly before giggling softly to myself as imagined what my friends would think if they walked in and saw me sulking on the floor like a filly who didn’t want to go to school. I snorted with derision and lifted myself to my hooves, the day would wait for no mare as the saying went, and went into the bathroom.

The door creaked noisily as I entered and I reminded myself to oil the hinges, I swore one of these days I would actually get around to it. I drew myself a bath, humming softly as I did, I couldn’t really remember what it was I was humming, it was one of those songs that just sort of sticks even after the name is long since decayed in your memory. The mirror was cracked, it had been for as long as I could remember, hadn’t it? I thought so anyway, I wasn’t entirely sure for some reason.

There was that creaking sound again, ‘how odd’ I thought, and slipped into the bath, enjoying the warm water, it would have to be a quick bath though; after all I had things to do today, so very many things. I couldn’t really remember what they were though. Still, that’s what to-do lists are for right? I finished my bath and stepped out, drying myself with magic, I knew Celestia disapproved of using magic frivolously, but it didn’t really matter, she was gone now. Right? Or… was she? I couldn’t remember, I lifted a hoof to my head as a powerful twinge came out of nowhere, setting my eye twitching as I blinked away the pain. It was gone in a moment. I went downstairs, everything was kind of a mess but that was ok, it was just how things were… right? Something was blocking my desk though, I huffed and kinetically lifted it out of the way, I considered just tossing it behind me but for some reason it felt wrong. I sat it gently off to the side and stepped up to the desk.

“Oh my, I really need to clean this place up…” I muttered and I leafed through the mess of papers littering my desk a lot of them were badly… damaged? The twinge came again, pain deep in my head brought tears to my eyes it hurt, then a there was a flash of light, it hurt, the light hurt my eyes.

A tree, stained with black blood, a figure hung from it, brutalized and torn, its body a twisted mockery of a pony, its lower jaw gone and in its place a nest of curved and wickedly serrated fangs, its forelegs were impossibly long and malformed, they looked incapable of supporting any weight at all but I knew they could somehow. I knew that they carried their owner with a sort of malign grace. An owner that was now pinned to a tree, bloodily torn in half. Why? What… what was it? It felt familiar but…

I clutched my head and leaned against the desk, the pain had subsided and the nightmarish vision with it, I wrote a note to myself to visit Nurse Redheart before remembering she was gone too, I couldn’t remember why though. I shook my head, “It doesn’t matter,” I muttered to myself and turned back to the library itself, it was a disaster, books falling off of their shelves, trash littering the floor. I shook my head dejectedly; of course they would leave me a mess. I always have to clean things up. I blinked. Then blinked again. Where had that thought come from? Whose mess was this? What had caused it? I tried to ask myself the question but it made my head hurt more. I shook the pain away and went about cleaning it up. I was reluctant to look at the garbage, it was disturbing to me for some reason, and there was something about it that felt off. I couldn’t put my hoof on it though so I ignored it and got to sweeping up.

I lifted my hoof to move some papers out of the way, it came away from the floor with a wet *schlick* sound. I looked down, my hoof was damp with blood, fresh and crimson. I could suddenly smell smoke and ash, and a choking, cloying stink like a charnel house. My vision trebled and I swayed on the spot, I felt woozy and uncentered, when my vision finally cleared I was no longer standing in my library, I was…

That smell, the smell of terrible sins and the kind of insanity that drives other ponies mad wafted out. Panic struck, my heart started racing as old primal fears welled up, fear of the abnormal, the dangerous, the truly and terrifyingly insane things that haunt the edges of our worst nightmares. My legs shook even though I didn’t know why at the time…

Memories came unbidden as my heart started trying to beat its way out of my chest. I was in the basement at Sugarcube Corner, the stink of fresh viscera and gore-slick surgical metal stung my nostrils. “no no no no no” I whispered to myself.

“P-p-pinkie?” I whispered softly, my voice weak as a filly’s, “Are y-you in here?”

My own voice echoed out of the past, I could almost hear it. That horrible creaking came again, it raked at my mind as I remembered why it unnerved me so, I wondered how I’d ever forgotten.

Pinkamena Diane Pie hung lifelessly from a rafter, swinging to and fro with a steady pendulum-like balance.

“No no no no no…” the word streamed from my lips as quickly as the hot tears of terror rolled down my face, I could feel my innards clench and my mouth go dry, my knee’s shaking. I didn’t want to see this place again. I didn’t want to see the-

-rubbery streamers hanging from the ceiling, vile looking cupcakes that stank to Canterlot and gone, something else on a slanted slab in the corner. Something with cyan fur and multicolored…

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I screamed as I slammed my eyelids shut and clamped my hooves over my ears, desperate to shut out the memories, desperate to be anywhere but this place. I could see it all anyway, despite my closed eyes and shut ears I could hear the grinding of freshly sterilized metal slicing at bones, I could see the blood-soaked granite floor, stained over and over until it was a permanent sickly brown color save for those times it was daubed with a fresh coat. I could see the figure of a mare wearing a grisly parody of a party dress, and a pegasus tied brutally to a surgical slab, I didn’t want to see it, I didn’t-

Suddenly the noise was gone. The images, the memories, they faded. All except…

Cross my heart…

I opened my eyes and screamed, I sat bolt upright but immediately dropped back onto the soft surface. I was lying in a bed, it was ratty and a little foul-smelling but it was a bed. I had bandages covering most of my body including my head, I looked to the side and…

“Rarity?” I croaked, my voice was a pale whisper of its former self.

The white pony turned and smiled, it was my friend sitting just to my right tending a small but strongly-burning fire, she was here, she was safe and just as I remembered her, coiffed hair that was well formed if slightly mussed, bright sapphire eyes-

-her thin and dagger-like teeth-

I shook my head as the memories came back slowly. We had been walking away from the dead… thing… that had been masquerading as Rainbow Dash except…

…An immense force, hooves, slammed into the back of my head as we walked away from the scene of the carnage, throwing me forward and into the ground. I tried to rise but I couldn’t move, I was stunned and exhausted, my legs wouldn’t obey my will, I turned so I could see it though, the thing that wasn’t Rainbow Dash had pried itself off the tree and was moving forward with jerking unnatural gyrations. Its internal organs were writhing like pseudopods, helping to propel it forward, the girls were screaming, I was screaming. It dragged itself on its half-destroyed ribcage hissing and snarling pure hatred at us. I knew we were all going to die. I had failed. I had failed Celestia. I had failed Applejack. I had failed the girls. The thing dragged itself forward with one more shuddering gyration and then… something came down on it. Something white and furious, its eyes burned with malignance and as it bit viciously into the creatures neck. I heard a dull crunch as vertebrae snapped apart under the creatures jaw strength. Still it fought on, driving hard-edged and ragged hooves into the white fury’s side, throwing her to the ground. Another sickening snap and her neck slid back into place albeit lacking a great deal of flesh the white one rose and hissed maliciously at the thing that wasn’t Rainbow Dash as it backed up, drawing her brutalized opponent forward, I didn’t know why until… Out of the shadows another one charged, I saw a glimpse of six rancid-looking wings and a strange necklace bouncing against a pink chest, there was a brief sound like a wood-axe cutting through an apple and the creature’s head tumbled from its shoulders. I heard voices then…

One was soft but definitely a mare, it said “Help me with them, we still have time.” The other didn’t respond right away, but when it did…

“Ok, I’ll get the girls”, its voice carried an infinite sadness, a sadness I recognized.

“P-pinkie?”, my final words before I lost consciousness completely.

I gripped my head, it was pounding, it seemed that Granny Smith hadn’t been joking about the side-effects of that drink she’d offered me. Rarity trotted over to me and put her hoof on my shoulder, gently pushing me downward back to the bed.

“Rest more Twilight darling, you’ve over-exerted yourself,” she said, I’d never been more glad to hear that mildly patronizing tone and I smiled.

“H-how are the…” I was afraid to ask.

Rarity just smiled and nodded, “Applebloom and Sweetie Belle are just fine, as is Applejack.” Rarity pointed my prone form to my left and I looked, sure enough there was Applejack, looking just as mangled as I probably did but she was alive and, relatively speaking, well. I let out a sigh of relief that felt like took a few hundred pounds with it and leaned back into the bed.

A thought struck me as I glanced back at my friend, “Rarity, was that… really you? Back in the clearing and again after I got hit by that… thing?”

Rarity looked sad and hesitant but she nodded, “Yes Twilight, I… I’m afraid it was, she turned away from me and started tending the fire.

I hesitated too, I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer but…

“W-what…” I started, I tried to find the right words but all I got was the obvious so I decided to just ask, “What are you?”

She flinched as if I’d struck her and I immediately regretted my question, still she turned to face me.

“I don’t know, not really, I’m like the things are here I guess, but I’m only like this when I’m…”

“Here here?” I ventured, a dry half-grin working its way onto my face, Rarity giggled softly, mostly dry but with a touch of real humor, and nodded. I shook my head, “But what do you mean ‘Only like this when I’m here?’ exactly?”

“I don’t want to get into it, I’m sorry, but it’s not the right time,” she answered, turning away slightly. I breathed out slowly and nodded, I had to trust her.

“So how did you… get this way exactly?” I ventured.

She shook her head, “I only know a few details about it, some I can’t share right now but… ultimately it was Pinkie who made me this way.”

I felt my eyes go wide and my mouth working for a few seconds before processing it. “Pinkie did this to you?” I asked, aghast at the idea, Rarity immediately started shaking her head and put up her hooves.

“No, no it isn’t like that, I asked her to do this, it was my choice, Pinkie told me things. Told me about something that was coming, a disaster,” Rarity paused for a moment, shifting around uncomfortable before continuing. “She was different from when we saw her in the Castle, I think part of her was… better… like her old self, before… before she lost her mind.” I nodded at that, remembering how she had spoken to me back in the alternate version of my library. “At first I didn’t believe her, I was terrified of her, I ran and ran but… eventually I realized it was really her, it was really Pinkie. That was when we started talking, she told me things, that after she had died… something had pulled her back, you probably.” I grimaced but nodded, Princess Celestia had theorized as much. “After she came back the madness wasn’t as strong and after the Castle it was even less so, and that was when she started to remember…”

“Remember what?” I asked, dreading the answer.

Rarity opened her mouth to answer but shut it again, as if she didn’t want to say it out loud.

“Rarity…” I pleaded, “Remember what?”

A voice shattered the silence.

“I started to remember why I lost my mind,” Pinkie said as she entered.

She looked up with a grim expression on her face.

“Do you want to know?”