Princess Luna has a thing for Bad OCs
by Mare-ionette
First published
Luna has a bad OC thing. Celestia thinks it's a stage, but Twilight and Cadence aren't too convinced of that.
Ever wonder why you see so many pictures of red and black alicorns with dark and traumatic backstories making out with Princess Luna? Do you know how you always assume that it's just a wishful pony with a Luna fetish?
Well, it's actually exactly the opposite.
Luna has a thing for bad OCs, and even though Celestia thinks it's just a teenage stage, Cadence and Twilight intend to find the source of this weird orientation.
This is my new coltfriend.
The cook smiled nervously as she served the Princess of Friendship her dish. Steam wafted off of the delicious looking lasagna sided with a salad and tomato soup.
Twilight struggled to not begin immediately, but it was a royal dinner with the Gryphon Emperor. All Equestrian Princesses had to be present before eating.
As normal, one pony was late.
As normal, it was Princess Luna.
To anyone else, Celestia would have looked just as calm and composed as normal. But Twilight had been near the Princess long enough to know that she was freaking out by her left hoof rhythmically tapping the tapestry on the table and her eyes darting across the room. Her mane flowed at a quicker pace than normal.
Princess Cadance, who was supposed to be sitting next to Luna, though the chair between Celestia and her was empty, smiled, trying to calm the princess. Celestia sighed, and continued to tap the table with her left hoof rhythmically.
The doors slammed open, startling both the Gryphon Emperor and the princesses. Celestia sighed loudly, her hoof on her forehead.
"Greetings, Gryphon Emperor! We apologize for not being punctual as so expected." She closed her wings, tucking them to her sides. "We hope you do not mind if our new coltfriend joins us." A deep red alicorn with a scraggly mane and a headset followed behind the princess with a cocky grin and a swagger in his step.
Princess Celestia sat up straight and got out of her chair. "My apologies, Emperor. Luna, a word, please?"
Luna raised an eyebrow, a challenging look in her eyes. "Of course, sister." She stepped out of the room and into a large closet.
Twilight, Cadence, Luna's coltfriend and the Gryphon Emperor waited, awkwardly, for them to finish squabbling, pretending they didn't hear every word of what was going on.
"Luna, you can't keep bringing your coltfriends to important meetings."
"You're not my mother! You cannot control me!"
"Luna, if you keep yelling at me, I'm not letting you use the electronic toothbrush that plays that kid's song anymore."
"It's the My Little Human theme song, and it's not for kids! You're treating me like an infant!"
"I know that you're going through one of your little stages, but this-"
"Stages? Ph- STAGES? It's true love!"
"Luna, all of your coltfriends have disturbed our guests with their rude behavior, and you do no better."
"His name is Bleeding Tears, and he's not rude- it's the new trend these days, Celestia! You know nothing about style!"
"Luna, don't fight with me."
The door of the closet burst open. An enraged Princess of the Night walked out in a huff, and Celestia followed, disappointed.
"Babe, I can go, if you want." Luna's coltfriend spoke up.
"That's not necessary, babe." Luna answered, but was cut off by Celestia.
"I think it would be best if you did leave, actually. Luna, you can go with him. I think you've bothered the Emperor enough today, don't you?"
Luna's eyes widened for a moment, then narrowed, menacingly.
"Very well, then. If that's how you want it to be, then that is how it shall be!" Luna turned and stomped out of the door, angrily, Bleeding Tears following shortly behind.
Author's Notes:
Next Chapter: Making out, loudly.
Making out, loudly.
Twilight had asked Princess Luna if she wanted to see a movie with her and her Ponyville friends. Luna had gladly obliged, under one condition.
Her new coltfriend, Shadow Reign, could come, too.
Twilight didn't think it'd be that much of a bother as to whether or not Luna's boyfriend came. I mean, what was the harm in it? Luna was obviously going through a stage, that much was true. But Twilight, the scientist she was, was curious. So she let him come.
Worst. Mistake. EVER.
And Twilight had thought it'd be okay for Spike to keep Peewee. That hadn't lasted long; The baby phoenix had literally burned the pet store down.
So, Luna and Shadow Reign were loudly making out while everypony else really just wanted to see whether or not Captain Equestria lived. And, of course, nopony was brave enough to ask the Goddess of the moon to quiet down, so she continued making out.
Twilight was wondering when Luna was going to come up for air when the movie ended, and the credits showed.
"You're soo hot, babe." Shadow Reign murmured, in between kissing the goddess.
"Oh, you flatterer. You have a very high degree of heat as well, babe."
"Yeah, okay, babe."
Twilight couldn't help but roll her eyes at the ridiculous sweet talk. This was getting out of hoof. She led Luna and her exceedingly rude and shady coltfriend out of the cinema, apologizing to other ponies as she did, and offering to buy everypony tickets for another night.
Luna and her coltfriend were nibbling eachother's ears and giggling when the castle carriage arrived for Luna.
"My chariot has arrived, babe. I must leave, but I will think of you until we meet again."
"About that, babe... I think we should start seein' other ponies."
"Are you... suggesting that we no longer see eachother romantically?"
"No, I telling you we're breaking up. Sorry, babe."
Shadow Reign spread his black bat wings and bolted into the sky. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, and most of Twilight's ponyville friends followed suit, but Twilight sympathized Luna.
"Luna, are you okay?"
Nothing.
"Luna?"
The princess burst into a puddle of tears, bellowing in agony.
Twilight ushered Luna to her hooves and bought her a cherry garcia ice cream cone with chocolate sauce.
The Ponyville friends tried to comfort the hysterical alicorn.
"It's okay, Princess Luna. He wasn't good enough for you anyway."
"Y'all right, sugah cube? You'll be fahn, it'll hurt less after ah whalle."
"Oh, don't be sad, Princess! You are a toooon better than that loser! Put a smile on that face, moony!"
"Stop crying, Princess, it makes you look uncool."
"Rainbow Dash! That is no way to talk to royalty in her very time of need!"
Rarity was scolding the cerulean pegasus when a dark red alicorn with a black mohalk swaggered by.
Luna was up on her hooves and making out again in less than half an hour.
Author's Notes:
Next Chapter: The Counselor's Office.
The Counselor's Office.
Princess Luna looked out the window, refusing to speak.
Twilight sighed and looked at the counselor, hopelessly. The pink unicorn, Dr. Sparkler, daughter of Derpy Hooves, smiled, pearly teeth glimmering with faith in her psychology training.
"So, Princess Luna, when did you start dating again?" She asked, cocking her head, curiously. Twilight had wondered the same. She had, of course, seen Luna wandering around Ponyville with some blood red alicorns before, but she hadn't known then that they were romantically involved.
"What makes you think you have the right to question us, subordinate?" The Princess spat in reply, lip raised in disgust.
Dr. Sparkler frowned. "My PhD, for one." She muttered. Luna raised her eyebrow, challengingly.
"Doth thou expect thy college degree to intimidate us? Obviously you are painfully unaware of the fact that we sat alone on the moon for a millennium whilst you puny equines enjoyed one thousand years of utter peace! Are you aware that I was one of the two who transformed a wicked draconequus from a living being, flesh and blood, into a stone statue?!" Princess Luna bellowed, making Twilight clench her teeth and look away and cause Dr. Sparkler to widen her eyes in fear and step back.
"Princess Luna, you're being incredibly rude! Apologize to Dr. Sparkler right now!" Twilight scolded. Luna simply sat back down on the light green divan and continued to look at the window and refuse to reply.
"Well," started Dr. Sparkler. "Princess Twilight here tells me that you've been putting off your duties so that you may 'dilly-dally' with your coltfriends... Would you agree, with this, Prin-"
"Twilight Sparkle would never say that about us! Twilight is our best friend! Twilight taught us how to fit in! You're lying, aren't you? Aren't you?" She bellowed, angrily, then desperately. Twilight looked away, looking pale.
"Actually, I did say that, Princess." Twilight murmured, apologetically. Luna stared at the young royal in astonishment. "Luna, you lowered the moon half an hour late last week. You returned only for us to find out you were at Donut Joe's with Night Trauma or whoever! Luna, you know it's much too soon after your banishment for you to have any delays in your lowering the moon. Rumors spread like wildfire!"
Luna's eyes widened in fury. Twilight stared at her, looking guilty. Dr. Sparkler just looked concerned. For a minute, the only sound in the room was Luna's deep breaths that drowned out anypony else. Twilight looked down at the floor, unable to hold Luna's furious stare any longer.
A voice called at the back of Luna's mind. Maybe they do just want you to be careful. The tip of her horn fizzed with cerulean light as she snarled in anger. Of course not! They're just envious.
"Blasphemy! You should know better than to lie to your very gods! You know not what forces you are tampering with!" She yelled, spreading her wings and jumping off of the divan and onto the cedar floor, alarming both Twilight and Dr. Sparkler. "You're just jealous that I'm in love and you're still writing stories about fictional characters falling in love with you and watching foal's shows!"
Stomping one hoof angrily and unfurling her wings, light flared around Luna's horn, and she vanished.
Author's Notes:
Next Chapter: Getting out of Hoof.