The sounds of gunfire lit up the park as several of the decoy soldiers had turned their weapons on the servicemen, gunning them down mercilessly as the single iron-man suited attacker stormed through the civilians in their attempt to scare them off or kill those that remained.

"Get the choppers in here for the extraction before the fucking cops show up!" one of the attackers bellowed, throwing down a green smoke grenade before moving over to the other tanks "We don't need the jets, they're tracked!"

"Aye boss!" another attacker yelled.

"Um, excuse me?" came the familiar cartoonish New York accent from a nearby street lamp "These things are parked legally, there's no reason to ticket and tow them officers!" Spider-Man's Spider-Sense went off again and he threw himself forwards as another bullet was fired from a building outside the park.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed "And I used to wonder why nobody liked parking wardens, now I know why"

"Can somebody shut this mother fucker up?" the attacker asked "He's giving me a headache and I don't wanna have to put up with that annoying voice any more" Spider-Man put a hand to his face and gasped loudly.

"I am offended at the merest insinuation of my vocal emissions even being perceived as less than something joyous to partake in!" he hollered in a posh British accent.

"What?" the attacker asked in confusion. Spider-Man launched forward and slammed his fist into the man's jaw, knocking him to the floor in an unconscious state.

"I said don't you fucking call me annoying" Spider-Man spat.

"Eric, Marcel, you two in the tanks, we're gonna smear this bastard all over the park!" one of the other attackers barked before turning to the man in the Iron Man armour and pointing at him "You hold him in place, we need these things as stocked for the boss as possible!"

"Now, now, I think we can all work this out like reasonable adults... right?" Spider-Man asked, holding his hands up. The Iron Man armour then blasted towards him, holding out its arms in an attempt to grab him. He knew that no matter what direction he went it would clip at least some part of him and that it would cause him major damage.

Luckily though, there came something much tougher than both of them in between the two of them.

A woman with flowing blonde hair dressed in a black unitard with a yellow lightning bolt, red sash around her hips, black elbows gloves with black thigh high boots and a thin, black eye mask. She held out her hands and caught the armour in mid-flight, her arms containing much more strength than at first sight.

"Alright!" Spider-Man exclaimed happily "I have a tag team partner... ooh, can we have a team name too?!" She turned her head to look at him with a raised eyebrow and Spider-Man lowered his hands from the spot he held them above his head.

"Right... I'll shut up now" he mumbled. The woman let go of the armour with one hand, the armour now using the full power of the jets to no avail, and with one quick punch she crushed the helmet of the grey suit, the sound of metal tearing and bones breaking as her fist punched straight through the other side of the helmet with blood and brain matter sticking to it.

"Holy hell lady, that's a bit excessive isn't it?" Spider-Man asked in horror.

"They're attempting to steal military technology and have slaughtered servicemen and civilians" she said, removing her fist from the cavity of the dead man's skull and throwing the dead weight to the side "Don't expect me to pull punches"

"I... I'm not asking you to but, Jesus, do you need a tissue or some baby wipes for that mess?" he asked, pointing at her gore-smeared hand.

"It'll come out in the wash" she shrugged "Can we get back to work please?"

"Why does it sound like you know that from experience?" he asked quickly.

"Move!" she snapped, grabbing hold of him and throwing him over to one of the tanks, Spider-Man's flailing form knocking off one of the attackers while the second one had already entered the tank and had begun piloting it "Damn it" The second tank's cannon whirled round to face her, the sound of a shell being loaded into the cannon followed by the cannon firing.

There was a moment of suspense as the shell was blasted towards the blonde woman who made no attempt to move, instead she held out her hand and caught the shell, closing her hand around it and stopping it in mid-air.

"Whoa" Spider-Man said in an amazed tone, pushing himself up off the unconscious man he'd been thrown out.

"Light her up!" one of the decoy soldiers yelled. There was another loud clanging sound followed by the machine gun on the front of the tank firing wildly, each round hitting its mark but leaving no impact on this seemingly-indestructible woman.

"She's able to catch tank shells and is immune to gunfire..." Spider-Man mumbled, leaping over to the other tank and pulling the lid off it "And I get to stick to walls and tell bad jokes? How the hell is that fair?" The man inside the tank struggled briefly before Spider-Man socked him in the face and dragged his unconscious form out of the tank, throwing him to the side.

"And that takes care of that" Spider-Man nodded, hopping down off the tank and dusting off his hands as the woman walked over to him.

"Who are you exactly?" she asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"I, uh, I'm Spider-Man" he said "You haven't been around for the past month have you?"

"No, I was dealing with a few things in Siberia" she answered "Who do you work for?"

"Nobody" he shrugged "I do freelance work"

"He works for us" a familiar female voice said. The two of them turned around to see Black Widow standing with her arms crossed, once again wearing her civilian garb.

"No I don't" Spider-Man said quickly "I don't work for anybody"

"You're gonna have to pick a side sooner or later Web-Head" Widow said quickly.

"Maybe, but for now I quite like the fence I'm sitting on" Spider-Man shrugged "Its got a good coat of paint on it"

"Right, whatever" Widow said "Fury wants to see you tomorrow about the Electro ordeal and you have another session with the Cap too"

"Right... why does Fury wanna see me?" Spider-Man asked "He already gave me the case study to fill in"

"He wants to hear it in person as well as writing" Widow responded.

"Why?" Spider-Man questioned in a puzzled tone.

"Don't ask questions above your pay grade kid" Widow said with a sigh.

"I don't have a pay grade" Spider-Man said curtly.

"Then shut up and do as you're told" Widow said simply before going on to talk to the blonde woman "Ms. Marvel, I trust that you've been keeping an eye on our little friend here?"

"Um... I believe so" she said in a confused tone "Was I supposed to be?"

"Not really, but since the two of you have met you might as well get to know each other" Widow shrugged "Spider-Man this is Ms. Marvel, Ms. Marvel this is Spider-Man" The two of them shook hands before Widow spoke up again.

"If you don't mind Ms. Marvel, Fury wants to get a SITREP about your mission in Siberia right about now, he sent me to come get you and I was just lucky to run into the kid" she explained.

"Right, I'll meet you back at the Triskellion" Ms. Marvel nodded before flying off into the air and leaving the two of them behind.

"So... are we gonna stay here for the sake of public appearances?" Spider-Man asked "Because I've got somewhere else to be" Black Widow looked at him for a long second before turning away without answering the question. Seconds passed before Spider-Man yelled a response out to her.

"I'll take that as a yes!" he called before falling silent "And now I have to go back into that fucking toilet and change again... I don't wanna be Spider-Man any more" Next Chapter: Arranging The Date-That-Is-A-Date-This-Time-Though Estimated time remaining: 8 Hours, 21 Minutes