Forecast: A rain of blood will flood the desert and not purify it.

My eye fluttered open, peering out the open window, framed by the faded two-century old wallpaper that coated my parents’ old room. It had been a decidedly odd feeling to come in here and actually curl up in their old bed. Not since my earliest memories had I ever slept in this bed, and even then only on thore rare nights where a nightmare plagued my slumber. Even now, waking up in this place filled me with a dual sensation of the familiar and the foreign. That feeling was compounded slightly by the large warm body that I was pressed up against. A figure large enough to make my sleep-addled brain momentarily conclude that I was a little foal waking up next to her father.

I very quickly chased that listless thought from consciousness, noting that it had still set my cheeks to burning. Ugh...it had been bad enough thinking of Jackboot as my father while pining for him; the last thing I needed was to ever think of Arginine that way too!

I had issues…

My mouth split open in a deep yawn as I rolled over onto my belly and proceeded to stretch out all six of my limbs. I could get used to not being woken up in the middle of the night to take a watch while out in the Wasteland. There were clear advantages to having a member of the team who was some sort of organic-robopony hybrid, or whatever Moonbeam was. I still wasn’t completely clear on all the details of the whole brain-merged-with-an-AI thing. She’d tried to explain it to me a few times during our trek here, dumbing it down a little more with every telling, but I still hadn’t been able to wrap my head around more than the bare essentials: her living body was sustained as a newborn foal that had been wired into a computer. That computer had, in turn, been integrated into the robopony body.

According to Moonbeam, she wasn’t really a part of the robopony any more than I was a part of my barding. It was just a means of locomotion for her. She could be just as easily swapped out of it and into any other piece of industrial equipment. Provided, of course, that the equipment possessed the appropriate interface for her systems to physically plug into.

But, while this meant that she was technically more a living pony than an actual robot, the nature of her augmentations had affected her in ways that normal ponies weren’t. One of those aspects was that she didn’t require any sort of sleep. As long as she was powered up, she could stay awake for weeks, or months, or even years at a time.

That meant that she could take the watch for the whole night, and still be perfectly ready to go the next morning as well. Her robopony body’s built in sensors also made her the perfect sentry during the night, able to see better and farther than any of the rest of us possibly could have. For my part, I’d been rather glad to be able to get a full night of uninterrupted sleep. To say nothing about finally having someplace where Arginine and I could have a little privacy for some...stress relief. We still weren’t having any actual sex, per say―I hadn’t been in Seaddle long enough to talk with Doctor Lancet about getting a contraceptive implant―but that didn’t mean that I still couldn’t avail myself to Arginine’s intimate knowledge of all those sensitive spots on a mare’s body.

Relaxed and rested were two things that I hadn’t been at the same time in what felt like...well, forever! I let out a satisfied sigh and gently nuzzled the large warm hulk in the bed with me before easing myself out of the bed. My mood was ever so slightly dampened by the ghostly expectation of finding my mother cooking breakfast as I made my way downstairs, which was how things had always been as a young filly. The memories were so pervasive that I could actually smell fresh cooking.

...and even hear something sizzling in a pan…?

Wait, what.

I fluttered the rest of the way down to the ground floor and peered around the corner of the stairwell into the kitchen. It turned out that I had not been imagining things after all. Ramparts was working at the stove, dividing his attention between a couple of pans that contained what couldn’t possibly have been anything from our traveling rations. I’d had Cram that was cooked every way imaginable, and it had never smelled or looked like that! There hadn’t been anything left here at the house, so unless somepony had managed to do some rather particular last minute shopping in Seaddle that I hadn’t known about―

“Good morning.”

I jumped with a start at the mechanically synthesized voice of Moonbeam as she stepped past me. She was floating a basket in her telekinetic field, taking it to the kitchen. She presented it to Ramparts, and the earth pony stallion pawed through its contents before selecting a few items from within and setting them on the counter, where he then went about cutting them up with his combat knife while the robopony took over watching the sizzling pans. He spared only a moment to offer his own passing greeting before carrying on with his dicing.

“I didn’t know you could cook,” I said as I approached the pair and lifted myself into the air to get a better look at what was being prepared. It looked like a curious collection of vegetables and tubers liberally sprinkled with flakes of...grass? I had to admit, it smelled absolutely wonderful, whatever it was.

“Sandy’s my sister, remember? She wasn’t the only one who helped our parents run that inn when we were foals. Admittedly, I’m not quite as good as she is, but I’ve been around a stove long enough to know what I’m doing,” he added with a wink.

“Neat. But, uh, where’d you get all of that?” I asked, jabbing a hoof at the basket full of food that Moonbeam had carried in, “don’t tell me a caravan was going by here just now?” I turned my head towards the front door in curiosity.

“Not at all,” the robotic mare replied, “I foraged these from the Wasteland.”

“You-wait-what-now?” I sputtered, doing a double-take as I gaped at Moonbeam, “how?”

The robopony’s rubbery muzzle was split by a smile as her glowing rosie eyes flickered, “there was a mare from the Ministry of Peace who worked at the facility where I was being...treated. Anyway, she was very knowledgeable about Equestrian flora, to include what wild plants could be safely eaten and how to find them. Admittedly, not all of those species survived the end of the world, it seems, but some have endured,” she gestured to the basket.

I thought back to our visit to the Ministry of Awesome bunker where we’d found Starlight Glimmer. I recalled the office that had been identified as hosting a pony from the MoP, “Treehugger, right? That was her name?”

“Correct!” Moonbeam nodded, “I liked her. She was very patient with me while I was learning to communicate through the interface,” her smile faltered somewhat, “Mom told me that nopony else in the facility survived?” there was a questioning note in her voice as she looked up at me. It wasn’t that she doubted what Starlight had told her. She was just...hoping, that maybe Starlight had been mistaken.

“We didn’t find anypony else alive, no,” I confirmed. Not that I could say for certain one way or the other who had been present in the bunker the day the bombs fell and who might have been elsewhere. It was entirely possible that Treehugger had been out and about at the time for all I knew. It wasn’t like we’d gone through and taken a roll call in the place. Not that it mattered, since two hundred years had elapsed since that day. Suffocated in a sleep chamber, baked by balefire, or something as mundane as old age: Treehugger was long dead by now.

“She was a good pony,” Moonbeam sighed, “but, yes; between the two of us, Ramparts and I have managed to put together a decent enough breakfast for everypony.”

“It smells amazing,” I agreed, thankful to be off the topic of long dead friends, “whatever it is?” I stressed the implied question.

“Fried wild tubers and scallions,” Ramparts replied, “with some thistle and something that looks a little like a snap pea,” he glanced over at Moonbeam for confirmation, but the robopony simply shrugged. The earth pony grunted and continued on as he spread out the freshly diced legume he’d just finished working on, “along with parsnips. Seasoned with thyme,” he added, sprinkling some grass shavings over the pans.

“And what’s that?” I asked, poking a hoof at the grass.

“That’s the thyme.”

“Time for what?”

Both Ramparts and Moonbeam turned their heads to look at me. Between them were mirrored synthetic and biological versions of deadpanned expressions, “don’t,” Ramparts stated.

“Don’t what?”

Moonbeam floated up a little sprig of tiny leaves, “here, taste this.”

“Uh, okay,” I took the offered plant and sniffed at it, immediately recognizing it as the dominant odor from the pan of sizzling breakfast. I gave the sprig a lick and my eyes went wide, “this is good!” I plopped it into my mouth and set about sucking on the potent taste, “what’s it called?”

“That’s the thyme,” the ropobony said patiently once more.

“Time for what?” I turned my head as I heard the half-yawned question from Foxglove, who was just stepping into the room.

“Don’t!” Ramparts stressed once more, a bit more loudly as he went back to tending his pans of food.

I rolled my eyes and ignored the stallion, “looks like it’ll be time for breakfast soon,” I informed the violet unicorn mare, gesturing to the pair of ponies working at the stove, “Moonbeam found some food and Ramps is cooking it up,” I drifted over to the mechanic mare and pulled the sprig from my mouth, “here, you have to try this stuff!”

Before she could respond, I popped the herb into the sleepy mare’s mouth. She blinked, sucked on the plant for a few seconds, and then smiled with a satisfied hum, “this is pretty good. What is it?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “they haven’t said yet.”

“It’s thyme!” the former courser snapped.

“Time for what?” Starlight popped her head into the kitchen now, sniffing eagerly at the air wafting through the doorway, “ooh, breakfast! That smells great. Uh…” all four of us were now looking at Ramparts, who was very slowly and deliberately banging his head on the counter next to the stove, “did I miss something?”

“Perhaps if you all wouldn’t mind setting up a place for us to eat?” Moonbeam suggested as the earth pony continued mumbling epithets under his breath.

It took a little bit of doing to get things moved around in the house’s old den, but the pair of unicorns we had helping us saved a lot of time as we gathered appropriate seats and surviving surfaces from the rest of the house in an effort to create a proper dining room. The completion of our assigned task coincided quite timely with Ramparts finishing up breakfast and serving up the initial batch before returning to the kitchen to get the rest. It was at about this time that the last member of our party finally made his own way downstairs, sniffing gingerly at the air.

“I gather that somepony managed to locate a strain of thymus vulgaris?”

I cocked my head at the large gray stallion, “a strain of what?”

“That would be thyme,” Moonbeam informed me from where she was seated, though without a serving of her own. She apparently didn’t actually eat, her organic components maintained by various talismans.

Ramparts returned with the rest of the breakfast he’d made, looking around, “time for what?” then the stallion froze in place, closed his eyes, and began to curse rather loudly while several of the others lost their composure and took up a raucous laugh, leaving only Arginine and I to stare in confusion.

Fortunately, Moonbeam was kind enough to explain the basis for their mirth while we ate, “why would anypony name it that anyway? It’s like they were trying to create confusion!” I then received a rather lengthy lecture on the subject of the ancient ponies of southern Equestria and the dialect of Old Ponish that they spoke at the time and how, while that language was eventually supplanted by modern Equestrian, a lot of the names for things that those ancient ponies had discovered endured.

Or something to that effect. I had honestly faded in and out a few times while she was talking.

Curiously amusing misunderstandings aside, the rest of the meal went by quite pleasantly. It was the perfect follow-up to a comfortable night of uninterrupted sleep, and it touched upon something deep within me that I hadn’t felt in, well...not since leaving home, honestly. Looking around the cobbled together table with all of these ponies enjoying a home-cooked meal and chatting affably with one another I was struck by those bygone sensations of something familiar, yet long lost:

Family. These ponies felt like family.

Well, some of them at any rate. Starlight and Moonbeam were still pretty new faces compared to the others, and I still didn’t know as much about them as the others. Heck, I was still learning new things about Ramparts! Though, I guess that wasn’t so very different from my actual blood relations. I had, after all, only yesterday made some new discoveries regarding my own ancestry. But that was part of growing up and deepening those bonds with your family, wasn’t it? You weren’t born knowing everything about your parents or your siblings. You learned them, slowly, over the course of your lives with them, and grew closer to one another through shared experiences.

I couldn’t think of a better way to describe these other five ponies, and it seemed pretty clear by now that we weren’t going to be leaving each other’s company any time soon.

A family breakfast. The first I’d had in a long, long, time.

“You okay, Windy?” Foxglove asked me in a low voice as she leaned in, looking a little concerned, “is something wrong?”

It was only at that moment that I realized my eye was burning and a little bit of dampness had been seeping out the corner. I quickly wiped away at the burgeoning tear and smiled broadly at the violet unicorn, “just happy,” I told her. Foxglove appeared briefly confused, but then smiled herself and glanced around the table before nodding her understanding.

Then I felt somepony tap me on my shoulder and looked up to see Moonbeam standing behind me, her gaze directed towards the outer wall of the house, “the Steel Rangers are approaching the house. Approximately five hundred meters out and closing,” then she added, “radio chatter suggests a dozen individuals.”

I felt myself tense up reflexively. A dozen Steel Rangers? Considering that all I wanted to do was talk with Hoplite about getting them to help the valley fight off Arginine’s stable, that seemed a bit...excessive. Admittedly, that was about the number of Rangers that I’d encountered every time so far, but both of those prior encounters had been when they were assaulting fortified positions filled with combatants.

Is that what they were expecting this time too, or was that just how the Rangers traveled?

Please, I thought, don’t let it be the former. All I want is to talk. That’s it. Don’t let this become another stupid fight…

With a heavy sigh, I pushed myself back from my nearly finished plate, “everypony gear up,” I announced, “the Rangers are almost here. A lot of them. A lot more than you need for a simple ‘friendly chat’,” all around the table, I could see the concerned expressions of the other ponies, “hopefully they won’t start anything, but…”

“Hope for the best, prepare for the worst,” Ramparts nodded as he too stepped away from the meal and went to secure his gear.

“Right,” I sighed, “Moonbeam, I want you to stay inside and out of sight,” I could think of only one thing that would compel the Rangers to want to take such an aggressive posture with our group: we currently had their ‘stolen property’. I’d been given Hoplite’s personal assurance that the Steel Rangers wouldn’t want anything to do with Moonbeam, knowing that she wasn’t actually technology, but a living pony. However, I also needed to consider that Hoplite didn’t actually command the entirety of the Steel Rangers, and might not even be present here today.

“Ramparts, you too,” I added. Before the earth pony stallion could protest, I continued with, “I don’t want them associating us with the Republic, and your courser barding will undermine that. You too, Starlight,” while not an actual Republic soldier, her barding was still an NLR design, “you three can provide support if things go sideways, but not before.”

All three ponies agreed, if reluctantly. That left myself, Foxglove, and Arginine to be the trio that went out to meet the Rangers. We all donned our respective barding and made certain that our weapons were functional. I noted that my own armament had shifted considerably from what it was during my initial confrontation with the technophile order. Gone were my twin set of submachine guns and their varied assortment of ammunition. I still had the carbine available as an option if I really wanted it, but…

This wasn’t going to be like the fight at the Arc Lightning factory. There wouldn’t be places to set up firing lines and take cover behind overturned desks. If things did go south, and the Steel Rangers started shooting, engaging them from a distance wasn’t going to go well for me. There would be too many of them to effectively dodge their weapons fire. Staying in close and making them hesitate out of fear of hitting their comrades was how they’d need to be fought. I knew that the sharp wing-blades of my Gale Force was capable of slicing through their power armor in its more vulnerable locations. Even my compact pistol was of a high enough caliber to punch through when the muzzle was just about pressed up against it.

My eyes went to the pair of ancient forelimb bracers that I’d found last night. I’d seen what a blast from them could do at range. A tactile hit from one of those things would probably hurt a Ranger pretty good too.

If it came to that. Merciful Celestia, please don’t let it come to that…

“They’re here,” Foxglove said from the doorway of my parent’s old bedroom where I was getting ready, “Arginine and I are as ready as we’ll ever be, and the others have set up barricades along the outer wall of the house. Just in case.”

The violet unicorn was clearly hoping that this wouldn’t turn into a fight either. I secured the last clasp on my new bracers and briefly glanced in the direction that the Rangers were approaching from. I could now see the dozen amber blips that denoted them with my Eyes Forward Sparkle. I noted that, if they were close enough to be picked up by my pipbuck, then that meant that Ramparts, Starlight, and Moonbeam would also be ‘visible’ to the Rangers’ own detection suite that was built into their power armor. That couldn’t be helped.

I looked now to the unicorn mare, noting Arginine’s large bulk standing just beyond her. Both ponies were wearing their barding. Foxglove’s eldritch lance was slung across her back, but her rifle was nowhere in sight. Clearly she’d reasoned that any fight would be at close range as well, and that her lance would prove far more valuable. The gray stallion had his modified energy rifle tucked away neatly at his side.

A mechanic mare, and a scientist stallion; but, for the moment, both of them looked a lot less like the technically-minded ponies that they were, and a lot more like mercenary soldiers. A wan smile tugged at the corner of my lips as I contemplated the pair of ponies. In a better world, neither of them would probably have ever touched a gun of any sort. Even myself who, but for a twist of fate, would have just been a farm pony living a sedentary life, looked as far removed from a ranch hoof as could be imagined.

I caught sight of myself in the dingy mirror of my mother’s old vanity, and saw my own dirt-smudged face, covered by a black patch to hide the scarred-over flesh where an eye had once been. What might have once been a smooth white coat speckled with burs in my fur where shrapnel had marred my flesh. My teal-streaked mane was shaggy and unevenly cut where close calls with energy weapons had burned patches away. Once brilliant blue and gold barding was faded and spoiled by dried blood and scorch marks.

Idly, I wondered exactly where that cute little filly that I remembered myself being had gone, and how long ago it had been since she’d been replaced by this mare that I was looking at right now. A mare who looked a lot more like the very raiders that I had spent my life fighting than a ‘Hero of the Wasteland’ that Homily made me sound like in her broadcasts.

Still, I could at least take some small measure of comfort in the knowledge that, while I looked nothing like the plucky young hero I styled myself as being; I did look exactly like the kind of pony who was allowed to think she stand hoof-to-hoof with a group and Steel Rangers and make them flinch before I did. I donned my enclave helmet and turned away from the mirror, “let’s go meet the neighbors.”

It was immediately obvious that Hoplite wasn’t among the Rangers that had come to see us. The Saddle Arabian ghoul was hard to miss with her towering height, slight figure, and her painted green power armor. I took that to be an unfortunate sign. Of all the Rangers in the valley, Star Paladin Hoplite would have been the closest thing to a sympathetic ear that I could have expected within the organization.

That wasn’t to say that there wasn’t a Ranger that didn’t stand out from the group. They weren’t anypony that I recognized, but it was obvious that they were the pony in charge. While every other armored pony looked nearly identical to one another, save for their choice of armament, this pony’s barding was gilded with golden motifs and additions that served a clearly aesthetic purpose, rather than a functional one. Steel plates reinforced their joints, molded to look like the skulls of roaring ponies, each with rubies for eyes that glimmered in the morning overcast.

I felt myself frown as we approached them. This was quite clearly a pony who had a really high opinion of themselves. Whether that sense of grandeur was well deserved or not, I felt like I knew that talking with them was going to be an...unpleasant experience.

Hope for the best, Windfall, I echoed Ramparts’ own earlier mantra as I came to a stop at what I hoped was a reasonable from the Steel Rangers. I didn’t want to march right up on them and come off as confrontational, but nor did I want them to get the sense that I was intimidated. I mean, I was feeling intimidated―one of those Rangers had quad missile launchers!―but I didn’t want it to be too obvious to this pony in the skull barding.

“Good morning,” I began our interaction, trying to gain even the slightest leverage by taking control of the conversation, “I was expecting to speak with Star Paladin Hoplite,” I looked up and down the line of Steel Rangers arrayed opposite us, “and I was also expecting a lot fewer of you,” maybe that’s where I should have ended things, but I was The Wonderbolt, the most badass pegasus in the entire Neighvada Valley, so I smirked at Skull-pony, “don’t tell me you’re so scared of little old me that you need to bring a whole army just for a friendly chat?”

That earned me a few annoyed growls from a few of the Rangers. A couple shied ever-so-slightly away from me though. I suspected that I must have had something of a reputation with these ponies by now, especially with Miss Neighvada bragging about The Wonderbolt’s exploits. Of course, that probably meant that there were more than a few Rangers standing here who were also feeling motivated to knock me down a peg or two. Only Steel Rangers were allowed to be certified badasses, after all.

Well, them and the Enclave.

I had to admit that I was a little surprised to hear a chuckle from Skull-pony in response to my taunt, “Initiate Hoplite was right about you, Wonderbolt,” a rich baritone replied. I didn’t miss the stress that he placed upon the new rank, which I also recognized as a much lower one that she’d had during our last meeting. That struck me as a bad sign, and my hoped that this meeting would end cordially began to wane. That feeling was compounded as his statement, which could easily have ended in a complementary fashion, took a sharp, downward, turn, “your overinflated ego does you a great disservice.

He then abruptly changed tacts, “where is the robot? We know you have it here with you. Surrender it now, and maybe I’ll change my mind about executing you and your friends for your folley.”

It was my turn to growl now, “I’d like to see you try,” I was already pretty sure that this was all going to go sideways any minute, but I tried once more to get things going back the way that I’d hoped, “I had a deal with Hoplite: I get Moonbeam away from the Republic, and you end your war with them. I did my part. Now I’m asking you to hold up your end, and to ask you to help protect the Wasteland from another, bigger, threat.”

“We are not mercenaries to be negotiated with to settle your petty, barbarian, squabbles with one another,” Skull responded indignantly, “ours is a higher calling. A noble crusade for the good of all posterity, and we will not be dissuaded from it. Now,” my attention wavered briefly as I noticed several of the other Rangers training their weapons on the three of us, “this will be the last time I ask: surrender the machine.”

“Her name,” I stressed, “is Moonbeam; and she’s not going anywhere with you.”

Skull was laughing again, but I got no sense that it was a mirthful one. Each cackle oozed with derision, “they named it! You simpleton; you don’t have the faintest idea what that thing is, do you? That weapon is dangerous, and it can absolutely not be trusted in the hooves of barbarians like yourselves!

“Return it to our care, or the lives of you and your friends will be ended here and now.”

Every blip went red.

Why did it have to be like this? It wasn’t fair.

A cold chill ran down my spine as I noticed that the other eleven Rangers had all, by now, leveled their weapons at the three of us. With the Gale Force, I knew that I could move fast enough to take the initiative in the fight and get in a few hits before they could take me out. By then, I’d be right up next to them, and there’d be no way for them to mass their fire like they could now.

The story was different for Foxglove and Arginine though. RG could manifest a magical barrier, I knew, but there was no way that it could endure for long enough to keep himself and the violet unicorn mare alive while they got somewhere safe. There was no way that Ramparts was going to be able to provide nearly enough fire support to suppress the Rangers.

Skull’s smugness turned out to be pretty well justified. I wasn’t seeing a lot of options available to us that ended with all six of us walking away from here with our lives. Maybe if I could stall for time, something would come to me, or I’d catch an opening…

“Keep him talking,” I heard Moonbeam say over my helmet’s headset. I had to fight back an urge to respond to her. While there was little likelihood that anypony but me could have heard what she said, they’d certainly hear any reply I’d make. In lieu of any worthwhile plan of my own, I was perfectly willing to act on somepony else’s.

So, I bottled up my frustration, bit back any one of several antagonizing quips that I would much rather have made, and put on my best ‘let’s come to an arrangement’ face as I looked at the lead Ranger, “you’re right,” I admitted, trying to sound as sincere as I could, “I really don’t know a whole lot about what I’m dealing with when it comes to Moo―er, that robot...thing,” I shrugged, “but I do know that it has this really cool robopony body. One that’s a lot fancier than any of the other toasters rumbling through the ruins around here.”

As I spoke, I noted that a scrolling wall of text had appeared in the upper left corner of my Enclave helmet’s visor, in a similar fashion to what my pipbuck would show me when it had alerts for me. Only these weren’t any sort of alerts that I’d ever seen before. In fact, it was hard to make any sense of most of what I was seeing, it was crawling by so fast. What I could catch was barely readable anyway, seeming like random combinations of letters and numbers that only occasionally resembled awkwards abbreviations of words.
However, there was one bit that I could make out clearly, and it wasn’t moving. It appeared to be the title of whatever program or operation was running:

>>POSEIDON CONTROL

I recognized that word. It had been written on the chamber where that foal had been kept beneath McMaren. It had stood for what again? Project something-or-other Network? I was pretty sure it had a lot to do with the computers that used the brains of foals like Moonbeam. I had to guess that was what the mare was doing now: using that supercomputer in her head to do...something. Whatever it was clearly needed more time, so that meant I had to keep these Rangers talking until it was ready.

“I’m betting it’s got to be pretty advanced,” I went on, my confidence boosted slightly by the fact that none of us had been blown to bits quite yet, “advanced enough that you’re not sure you could catch up with it if you just wiped us out here and spooked her...it,” I waved my hoof around at the gathered Steel Rangers, “isn’t for me...is it?”

My eyes were drawn back to my display as the stream of letters and numbers ended, replaced now by a message:

>>INTERFACING COMPLETE.

>>MWT OS OVERRIDE PROTOCOLS ONLINE.

>>ZAP_APPLE_JAM.EXE VIRUS READY FOR UPLOAD.

Then Moonbeam’s voice was back in my ear. Only, this time it sounded...flat; disinterested, “Electronic warfare countermeasures ready for distribution. Limitations in local relay data transmission systems restrict upload to one target at a time. Twelve targets identified. Estimated time to completion of upload to all targets: seventeen minutes.”

“seventeen min―!” I somehow managed to catch myself mid outburst and forced myself into a coughing fit to cover the rest of what I’d been about to say out loud. I finished up with a few pounds to my chest and offered an apologetic grin to Skull, “sorry. All the dust. I should probably invest in a respirator like you’ve got, Mister…?” I prompted, realizing he’d yet to give his name, and that seemed like a sure-fire way to get him to keep talking.

I still had no idea how I was going to be able to stall these guys for seventeen minutes! Moonbeam had to be out of her half-computer mind! And what was with that weird monotone voice of hers?

“Star Paladin Achilles,” the Ranger sneered through his armor’s speaker system, “and you are correct, you are not regarded as nearly enough of a threat to our order to warrant a team this size. If all we wanted was to kill you, I’d have just come here on my own to do the deed,” he chuckled again, “I’d have already been on my way back to the stronghold by now, in fact…”

I very nearly pulled a muscle keeping my eye from rolling at the comment; and almost popped a blood vessel as I noted the progress bar that had appeared on my visor’s display to denote the upload process was at 0.2% and crawling upward with agonizing slowness. Horse. Fucking. Apples.

“But,” the Star Paladin went on, seemingly irritated at the thought of conceding any point to me, “you are mostly correct also as to why we’ve spared your lives thus far. The Elder advised me that if there was a chance to make you see reason and give up the AI willingly, I should at least make the attempt. It is quite dangerous, as you pointed out.

“To that end: what would it take to convince you to return the AI?”

There we go! I had him negotiating. This was something that might be able to be drawn out long enough to buy Moonbeam the time she needed for that upload of hers. If I made the right combination of concessions and demands to keep us talking, while making Achilles feel like actual progress was being made, we might actually pull this off!

“In addition to the obvious guarantee that you let me and my friends leave unharmed?” I prompted.

“Windy, you’re not serious?!” Foxglove hissed at me, but I held up a hoof and glared briefly at the mare. She huffed but quieted down.

“Naturally,” the Star Paladin nodded, “you barbarians like caps and guns, isn’t that right? I’m certain the Steel Rangers can adequately compensate you with both. Name a price, and we’ll see what can be done from there.”

I frowned slightly, feigning thinking of a number. The Steel Rangers were huge players in the Wasteland, and they’d been at war for the better part of two decades trying to get Moonbeam back. I couldn’t really even comprehend the staggering cost in lives, weapons, ammunition, supplies and powered barding that must have been expended over that time. I could spit out a number in the millions and that probably wouldn’t be a drop in the bucket compared to what they’d already wasted trying to do what I accomplished in an evening.

While that thought prompted a chortle that needed to be stifled, it did leave me with a bit of a conundrum: what demand could I possibly make that Achilles wouldn’t just accept out of hoof and totally destroy my plan to draw this out? I mean, I was sure he’d try to haggle me down on any amount of caps that was indecently large, if only on principal, but the bottom line was that the pockets of the Steel Rangers were so deep that the two of us would inevitably reach an agreement far too quickly. After that, there’d be no way I could stall for time without being obvious about it. He might have an ego on him, but whether it was justified or not, this was the kind of pony who wasn’t going to shy away from pulling the trigger first if he decided I was trying to play him.

I smiled broadly at the armored stallion, “I’ve got plenty of caps. A lifetime of bounty hunting will do that,” I said dismissively, “and this is the Wasteland. You can’t take three steps through some ruins without tripping over a rifle or a box of grenades. I mean, the whole world was a warzone after all,” both of those statements were true enough, and helped me justify the lead in to my initial demand, “what I’m a lot more interested in is services in lieu of payment,” I sat myself down on the hard scrabble, adopting a relaxed pose and suggesting that we might be talking for a while.

“I’ve already told you that we are not mercenaries,” Achilles stressed, sounding obviously irritated.

“So? You can do other things for me besides fight,” I pointed out, “information, connections, technology; the Steel Rangers have a lot that they can offer me that will go a lot farther than some measly caps and a stack of rifles.”

The Star Paladin was silent for several long moments, and I found myself wondering if maybe I’d already managed to push to hard. I stole a glance at the progress bar: 4.3%. I mentally screamed. Then, much to my relief, the Steel Ranger said, “and what, precisely, do you have in mind then?”

Alright, I had him negotiating, and for something that I hopefully would have to fight pretty hard to get out of him. Now all I had to do was reach farther than he was willing to go, listen to his counter-offer and draw things out from there, “I want the location or every Old World Ministry facility in the entire Neighvada Valley,” I began, “Wartime Tech, Awesome, Peace, Morale, all of them. Stables too. Everything from the Great War that you guys know about, whether you’ve already investigated them or not. Along with all of the information you have about them.”

Again, Achilles was silent for a few more seconds before speaking, “I assume you intend to raid such places for equipment. I’ve already offered you money and arms. Why not take the easy payout?”

“I already told you: I’ve got money, and weapons are everywhere. I’m interested in fortified installations and advanced tech from the Great War,” I replied, hoping that my emphasis on the latter would help to trigger his inherent Steel Ranger impulse to deny my request. After all, one of their chief tenets was keeping tech out of the hooves of other ponies, right?

“I don’t know if Hoplite mentioned this, but the Valley is facing a bit of an invasion. To fight that, I’m going to need access to fortified bunkers to use as safehouses and staging areas to combat them, and I’m going to want as much of what Old Equestria used to fight the zebras as I can get my hooves on. Bonus points if you know about any megaspells that the MAS had stashed in the valley that were never used in the war,” I was hoping that I hadn’t pushed things too far with that last bit. If nothing else, it gave Achilles a pretty obvious place to start pushing back.

The counter hit 8.4%. At the same time, one of the hash marks on my EFS flipped from crimson to amber. One down, but still a whole lot to go. Now I just needed to be ready to pick out a few parts of the Steel Ranger’s counter offer to insist on to keep us talking. I’d let him keep any megaspell locations secret, of course, and any places he insisted had technology too powerful for ‘barbarian’ ponies, but I should be able to insist that he―

“Agreed.”

My brain tripped over itself, “wait, what.”

“I agree to your demands,” Achilles amended, sounding a little annoyed. Though there was also a note of resignation in his tone as well, as though he recognized that the price was rather steep, but not wholly unreasonable somehow, and a price worth paying for what they were getting out of the deal. Was he crazy?! I just asked for access to Old Equeatia super-weapons! He’d just reminded me, like, five minutes ago that the Steel Rangers were explictly tasked with stopping ponies like me from getting their hooves on those!

No. no, he wasn’t crazy, I realized. But I’d clearly misjudged something. I just didn’t know what it was yet. I narrowed my eyes at the Star Paladin, “I mean it: every Old World government installation in the valley, no matter how small or what’s inside it.”

“I understand completely,” the armored stallion insisted, “I will fully comply with that request. Here.”

I received a smattering of update notifications on my EFS. Incredulous, I whipped up my pipbuck and flicked over to the map. There were seven new locations on it that hadn’t been there a moment ago. The regional hubs for the Ministries of Morale, Peace, Wartime Technology, and Image, as well as two stables, and one marker which bore the name: Shetland Base Annex. I noted in the back of my head that none of these markers were anywhere near where I knew the Ministry of Awesome weapons cache to be. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to take this as a good sign that it meant the Steel Rangers hadn’t already raided it themselves, or an indication that, as the group most likely to have come across information about the cache in their own records, that it demonstrated Achilles was holding back.

“How do I know this is everything?” I asked, favoring the armored stallion with a suspicious glare. This was going way too well. So well, in fact, that it was a complete disaster! The upload wasn’t even a tenth of the way done!

“Frankly, you don’t,” the Star Paladin responded nonchalantly, “but I can’t think of any way to prove that’s all we have in any way that you couldn’t reasonably dispute. Suffice it to say that there is a reason that the Steel Rangers never had a permanent presence in the Neighvada Valley prior to the theft of our property by the Commonwealth. Simply put: there is nothing of consequence here for us, and never has been. What few facilities are here that we deemed of value, we have thoroughly stripped during the last twenty years.”

Now, I knew that wasn’t true. The Rangers hadn’t touched that bunker beneath McMaren after all…

Then I remembered that Hoplite had admitted to not knowing about the bunker beneath the military complex. They’d thought they were just scouring an old ruin on the surface. Everything I’d learned so far during my own travels had suggested that, yeah, the Ministry of Wartime Technology hadn’t had a huge presence in the valley, save for a couple of civilian contractors and factories. Most of the region’s secrets seemed to connect to the Ministry of Awesome, and I’d discovered that that ministry had been bending over backwards to hide its activities from everypony, even their sister ministries.

Achilles probably had just given me everything that I’d asked for. Ministry hubs, bases, stables―

My eyes went wide and my head whipped around to look at RG, “what number was your stable?”

“126,” the somber stallion replied simply.

I stared down at the map. The number 126 hovered above a cogwheel icon that denoted one of the ancient fortified bunkers built during the Great War. We had it. We had the precise location of Arginine’s stable.

“Now then,” Achilles cleared his throat, “since your demands have been satisfied to your own satisfaction, give over the AI.”

Not even 15% yet. I needed more time, but there was none left to have. Not really. How long could I possibly stall?

Stall? Who was I kidding? This Star Paladin wasn’t going to have any of that. But that didn’t mean that I couldn’t still buy at least buy a few more minutes. After that...well, we’d have to hope for a miracle, “Foxglove, go back and get the robopony. Bring it out here.”

“What?!” the mare blurted once more, “Windfall―”

I turned and fixed the mare with a hard stare, “the nice Steel Ranger just gave us everything we asked for. All he wants in return is a dumb robot. So go back to the house and send out the dumb robot that he wants to see.”

The emphasis on the last word was subtle, and I hoped that it sounded to the Rangers like I was scolding the unicorn mare. I hoped as well that Foxglove had caught my meaning. It was hard to tell from her expression, because she was still quite incredulous at the thought that I appeared to be giving up Starlight Glimmer’s daughter to the Steel Rangers. Obviously, she was quite right to believe that this was not something that I would, in my right mind, ever do. Whether or not she grasped that I was trying to hint at my desire to do something else was up in the air.

As an added measure, I stood up and approached the mare, maintaining my annoyed demeanor, “now get your flank back there and bring back that piece of two-hundred year old junk,” I jabbed the mare stiffly in the chest with my hoof. At about the precise point where the control gem on the holographic rig would have been when it was being worn. Again, I stressed, “he wants to see that robot.”

Finally I saw realization dawn in the unicorn’s eyes. Slowly, she nodded her head, her eyes darting between me and the Star Paladin, “right...I’ll go and get her. It,” she corrected before turning and trotting off back towards the house. I suppressed a frown as I saw her moving at such a brisk pace. Of course, Foxglove didn’t know about whatever it was that Moonbeam was doing to the Steel Rangers or the little progress timer that only I could see; so she couldn’t possibly have known about my desire for everything to move along at as slow a pace as was excusable.

This left me and Arginine with the dozen power-armored ponies. Two of which now identified as amber on my EFS. Watching that little golden bar in silence was going to drive me out of what was left of my mind. So, “you’re pretty determined to get that robot back,” I observed. As long as these Rangers were feeling like talking instead of shooting, I might as well try to get as much information as I could out of them. What harm could it do, “I don’t understand why though. Sure, it’s pretty advanced,” even a mechanically ignorant pony like myself could clearly see that Moonbeam’s chassis was on a completely different level from your run-of-the-mill robopony, “but is it really worth all this?” I waved a hoof at the gathered Rangers, “it’s just a little robopony.”

“A barbarian like you could never hope to comprehend how powerful such technology is,” Achilles scoffed. I grit my teeth and resisted the urge to retort. I wanted him to keep talking, “the affair at Seaddle all those years ago was a mere fraction of its potential. Left unchecked, it could devastate the entire Wasteland a hundred times over; more damaging than even a rampant megaspell.

“If it were up to me, I would just as soon destroy the blasted thing and be rid of the threat it poses,” the Star Paladin continued, prompting me to take careful note of what he was saying now, “but the Elder insists such treasures must be sequestered and protected. Our mandate is to protect the treasures of our ancestors, not destroy them. As their instructions aren’t for me to question, I will comply with those orders.”

“It’s just one little robot,” I pointed out again, my face contorted in confusion, “how dangerous could it be?” Moonbeam? More dangerous than a megaspell? I couldn’t see it.

“It’s not my job to educate you on ancient Equestrian history. Suffice it to say that the AI in that robopony was the culmination of a strategy being developed to counter the dragons being employed by the zebras and finally secure Equestrian airspace against future incursions.

“That’s the kind of power that’s being discussed here, and why we want it back.”

Okay, so, yeah, that sounded like something that was pretty dangerous to trust in the hooves of just anypony. Then a thought occurred to me, “wait a minute...if that thing was supposed to be so ultra powerful that dragons couldn’t win against it, then how come four Republican soldiers were able to take it down so easily?” this question I posed to Arginine, hoping that the much smarter pony would be able to answer such a question, because I couldn’t fathom it. Yeah, the Princess Luna robot had certainly been tough, no argument there, but secure-all-of-Equestria tough? Not likely…

Before I could get an answer though, there was a, “Sir!” and one of the Steel Rangers pointed, getting the attention of their commander and indicating behind us. We all reflexively looked in that direction, and I saw Moonbeam approaching us. Or, rather, I saw what I really hoped was Foxglove in the holographic rig disguised as Moonbeam…

“It’s refreshing to have something go smoothly for once,” the Star Paladin said in a bemused tone.

I’ll admit, that triggered the mildest of guilty feelings deep down within me, hearing that. How many times in my life had I wanted something to go nice and easy, only to have it not? I mean, this very interaction with these Steel Rangers was the latest in a long line of disappointing encounters. And now the metaphorical rug was about to be yanked right out from under these Rangers, and to me benefit to boot!

Frankly, it was karmic justice for the wrench they’d just thrown into my own plans, but I couldn’t help but empathize. Just a little.

The progress bar in the corner of my visor went into overdrive, speeding to completion in a matter of seconds, and suddenly I saw nothing but soothing amber blips beneath all of the Steel Rangers. I blinked in surprise, but didn’t even have time to fully appreciate the miraculous stroke of luck before my brain once more experienced a jarring lurch as the approaching robopony spoke in Moonbeam’s voice. Still retaining that flat monotone that teased at the hackles on the back of my neck.

Speaking of plans not going smoothly...

“You are advised to withdraw from this area,” the metallic mare instructed, her dispassion sending a shiver through my spine. I experienced a vivid flashback to my time beneath McMaren and the roboponies I’d encountered there. This wasn’t the same Moonbeam that I’d just been having breakfast with, I realized. This was...something else.

This was the AI. This was, “Poseidon…?”

I hadn’t even known that I asked the question aloud, but it managed to escape my lips in my surprise. The robopony’s head turned, favoring me with a look from the pinprick pupils of its rosy pink eyes, “assessment correctness: marginal. Primary control node of Poseidon Initiative retains unique network ID: Selene,” she then returned her attention to the gathered Steel Rangers, “order repeats: withdraw to a distance of one kilometer, or face elimination. You have five minutes to comply.”

“Woah, hey, Moonbeam!” I hopped in between the robopony and the Rangers, again feeling that foreboding sense of deja vu, “let’s not go eliminating anypony okay! They’re leaving,” I turned my head to the gathered Rangers, “right? Please?”

They weren’t going to leave. Nor did any of them seem to be particularly phased by what the robopony was saying, “let’s not make this difficult,” Achilles sighed, “or I’ll be forced to deactivate you and drag your metal rump back to the bunker. I received a briefing on your schematics, and I know for a fact you down have any weapons built into your chassis, so let’s not pretend you’re any kind of threat us like this.

“Especially not when I have the command codes,” the Star Paladin snorted dismissively.

“You now have four minutes and forty seconds to vacate the area to a distance of one kilometer,” was all that Moonbeam―er, Selene, I guess, said in response.

“Fine, have it your way,” Achilles sighed, “voice command: program termination. Authorization code: Light’s out.”

The stylishly armored stallion looked at the robopony expectantly for several seconds. I looked between the both of them. Clearly he had expected something to happen and, honestly, I’d been afraid that something would too. However, nothing really seemed to. Selene continued to stand there, staring down the Rangers arrayed against her.

Soon, the Star Paladin gave a frustrated grunt and repeated in a more pronounced tone, “I said: program terminate; authorization code: Light’s out. Comply! What is wrong with this stupid thing,” he grumbled.

“You now have four minutes and twenty seconds to vacate the area to a distance of one kilometer.”

“Terminate! Light’s out!” Achilles screamed at the robopony through his helmet.

Then the robopony snorted. A moment later, it did it again, and then a spurt of laughter followed as the flat voice melted away, replaced by the much more vibrant synthesized vocals that I’d come to associate with Moonbeam. Considering that the reaction resulted even RG’s eyebrows, I could only assume that Achilles’ eyes were as wide as my own, “wow, I wish I could see your faces!” the robopony cackled. Then, she quipped, “oh, wait; I can!”

She sat back on her haunches and clopped her metal hooves together. On cue, all twelve of the helmets of the Steel Rangers hissed and parted, revealing the stunned faces of the living ponies beneath. They immediately recoiled and looked around, gaping between their barding and their fellows. Except for the bronze-coated furious Achilles, who recovered enough of his composure to equip a suitably furious glare at Moonbeam, which only made her laugh even harder.

“Why aren’t you offline?!” he blurted, “and why are you laughing? Robots don’t laugh!”

“But ponies do,” Moonbeam fired back in a mirthful tone, “and to answer your first question: Selene is offline,” the robopony rubbed her chin pensively, “I didn’t think anypony but Ebony Song had those codes. Good to know. I’ll have to see if there’s any way I can change them, or this is just going to get inconvenient…”

Achilles opened and closed his mouth several times in consternation. His golden brown complexion was growing steadily more crimson, so I took the initiative and interjected myself into the conversation in the hopes of defusing things, “Star Paladin Achilles? I’d like to introduce you to Moonbeam. She’s the actual―living―pony at this thing’s heart. She’s not a program.”

“Correct,” Moonbeam nodded, her synthetic lips spreading in a broad smile, “though, in fairness, you were speaking with a program just a minute ago,” she glanced over at me, “I brought Selene out for a bit to hack their barding. The Ministry of Awesome was ever so naughty back in the day,” she winked, “they didn’t limit themselves to developing electronic countermeasures against just enemy computer systems.”

She straightened up and fixed the Rangers with a much sterner look now, “I have full access to the operating systems of your power armor. My range is limited, I will admit, but at this moment―and while I’m this close―you are less than powerless against me,” even though I wasn’t the target of Moonbeam’s ire, I could still feel myself cringing away from the ice in her voice. I suppose that I could understand her animosity. These ponies had effectively kept her locked up in a cupboard, unconscious, for a long time; and they were only here now to do it again.

I’d be a little put out too, if I was in her place.

“So,” her lips pulled themselves into a sneer, “all of you are in fact, going to turn your happy flanks around and leave. Is that clear?”

While the rest of the unmasked Rangers were looking appropriately worried, Achilles had managed to retain his scowl this whole while, “I am under orders to bring you back to the Elder, and I will―”

“Have to find a way to explain to the Elder that that’s not going to happen,” Moonbeam finished for him, “ever.”

“We are not leaving without you,” the Star Paladin stated flatly.

The robopony cocked her head and thought for a moment. Then, “okay. I accept,” he closed her eyes for a moment, bobbed her head, and then opened them again.

“Wait, what?” I asked, puzzled by what had just happened.

“I agree to their terms,” Moonbeam said matter-of-factly, “they’re never leaving.”

It was at that moment that I realized that the expressions of the faces of several of the Steel Rangers were indicative of ponies straining with valiant, yet futile, effort to move. Yet their barding remained rooted soundly in place. Those expressions began to shift very quickly to panic as they soon discovered that even the systems that I assumed existed to allow them to extract themselves from a suit of unpowered barding weren’t functional either.

Achilles was looking worried now.

“So, there’s some funny little hurdles involved in building a robot body that is designed to support a living organic core,” Moonbeam began, as though giving a lecture in a classroom, much to the chagrin of the Rangers, and my own bafflement. This felt like quite the non-sequenture, “chief among them: how do you keep that living core alive? I mean, I’ve got a brain―well, most of one, anyway―and you can’t just stuff a brain in a jar of saline and expect it to function like it always did. That’d just be silly!

“My living body needs sugars, and oxygen, and amino acids,” she went on, “just like anypony else. But eating and mechanical parts don’t mix all that well. Not that my body can eat all that much anyway,” she amended with a shrug, “I didn’t even have teeth when they stuck me in here!”

Then Moonbeam did something I didn’t think I’d ever see a robot do: she took a deep breath. At least, that’s what it sounded like, “nothing like a breath of fresh air,” she smiled, “and it turns out that’s all it takes; because air has everything you need for life: hydrogen, oxygen, carbon, nitrogen―all the building blocks for the sugars and proteins that ponies need to live!”

“What I’m getting at is that, thanks to an absurdly sophisticate array of conversion talismans, and a prototype arcane reactor that I think might run on just a tiny bit of Impelled Metamorphosis Potion, as long as there’s air for me to breath, I can just squat my shiny metal ass out here in the middle of nowhere and be perfectly fine for several weeks. I mean, I’ll eventually need to either swap out a couple spark batteries or find a generator to plug into for a bit, but that’s a long way off right about now.”

Moonbeam hesitated and looked between all of the Steel Rangers, “how long can you sit in that barding of yours and be perfectly okay?”

Once again, Achilles was the only one who managed to maintain their composure, but even I could spot the cracks in his otherwise stoic expression, “more will come for us when we don’t report back,” he warned.

“...and the moment they get close, I’ll infect their power armor with the same virus that’s locking up yours,” she said in a bored tone, then, “now, here’s the thing: I’ll let you know right now that I am well aware that your suits have anti-virus suites, and that they’re even now working on getting everything moving again. I know this because I’ve been re-uploading that virus the whole time we’ve been talking. I may have needed Selene to open the door initially, and do all the heavy lifting at first, but even the organic part of me can just hit the mental equivalent of ‘ctrl+v’ on whatever it was that the AI did the first time.

“As long as I’m right here, you’re all stuck, exactly where you are, until I chose to leave,” again the robopony was regarding the Steel Rangers with a cold stare, “and I’m not going anywhere until you’ve agreed to leave me alone. Forever.

“I’m not your property. I never was, and I never will be.

“So what’ll it be?” she finished, regarding Achilles expectantly. He was silent. After a few seconds, Moonbeam looked at me, “you can all go back inside and finish breakfast. I’ve got things covered out here. It looks like it might be a while. On the bright side: I only need to keep this up for, like, three or four days. They’ll all have died of thirst by then…”

“Fine,” the Star Paladin growled reluctantly, “we’ll withdraw. For now.”

“‘For now’ doesn’t sound like ‘forever’,” Moonbeam noted, “and I think that’s what I said,” before the stallion could reply, she shrugged, “but whatever. You can tell your fellow Rangers what I said, or not. That’s up to you. Just keep in mind I’m not going to be this forgiving next time,” the robopony narrowed her glowing pink eyes at the Star Paladin. Just then, his barding finally moved, in the form of his right hind leg jerking. However, the motion happened with such sudden speed, and to such an extreme degree that I winced when I heard the decidedly not mechanical crunching sound echoing from within.

Achilles screamed.

A moment later, the weapons attached to the barding of every Steel Ranger dismounted themselves and clattered to the ground. Then a few Rangers fell over as well as they found themselves unexpectedly having to support themselves now that their barding was no longer frozen in place. The Star Paladin was one of those who fell over, hissing through grinding teeth, his leg cocked out at an unnatural angle.

“Huh,” Moonbeam said, feigning disinterest as she brushed a bit of dirt off her hoof, “imagine that: I can freeze your barding or move it. Fascinating,” she looked down at the crippled Star Paladin, “did you know that the range of motion on power armor was greater than the range of motion of the average pony? I mean, I’m sure you know that now…

“Just something to keep in mind,” she looked to Arginine, “hey, big and tall; be a dear and collect their weapons? We’ll call it a ‘stupid tax’,” the large gray stallion nodded and an amber glow surrounded the scattered weapons and levitated them towards us, “you two head back,” Moonbeam said, “I’ll make sure they don’t loiter.”

I looked first to the robopony, and then to RG. He regarded me questioningly, but I bobbed my head in the direction of the house. He paused for a moment, and then walked away, floating the weapons in a loose cloud around him as he headed back to the others. I chose to remain with Moonbeam and watch as the Steel Rangers collected themselves, and their hobbling commander, and eventually started making their way back in the direction that they had came. The look that Achilles gave the both of us could be summed up rather succinctly in a single word:

Hate.

This wasn’t going to be the last that the two of us heard from that stallion. Of that, I felt sure.

When they were finally gone from sight, I heard Moonbeam’s resigned sigh. Which, I now knew was more than just a simple affectation, “well,” she said with a wan smile, “that could have gone better…”

“It sure couldn’t have gone much worse,” I agreed as the two of us finally started making our way back to the house, “we’re lucky you were here,” I noted to the robopony.

“If I hadn’t been, they wouldn’t have either,” she pointed out, “this was the least that Selene and I could do,” the frown was there only briefly before the robopony hid it behind a weary smile, but I still caught it.

“How does that work, exactly: the whole AI thing?” I remembered Trellis, and how it had been clear that she was acting separate from the computer program that had been controlling the underground facility. Then again in the throne room in Seaddle, and dealing with the Princess Luna robot that I could now see didn’t seem to possess anywhere near the awareness that Moonbeam obviously did, “do you really control it, or…?”

“No, not really,” the robopony shook her head, “the computer uses my brain, but it’s not a part of me. Not like you’re thinking. Whenever it’s in control, it’s like I’m dreaming. I’m kind of aware of what’s going on, but it’s...distant. Like everything I’m seeing is happening to somepony else. I can’t control what Selene does.”

“But you can turn it on and off at will,” I noted.

“Ehhh…” she said, hesitantly, “on? Yeah. That’s as easy as blinking. Off? Well…” she frowned, “if I can catch it while it’s not doing anything important I can usually get control back pretty easily.”

“Wow. That’s gotta suck,” it was my turn to frown now, “but I thought the AI was supposed to be there to help you? Why would they make it so it’s hard to get control of your own body back?” then another thought occurred to me, “wait...why can it even take over at all?!”

Moonbeam smiled and lightly booped me on the nose, “give the mare a prize!” then the smile faded slightly, “the ponies that could answer those questions all died a long time ago. I certainly don’t have them. Though, given what I know about the MoA and the stuff they had their hooves in, I’ve concluded that their whole ‘Egghead’ thing to help foals like me wasn’t as altruistic as the brochures made it out to be.”

Again I thought of Trellis. What had their parents been told was happening to their child? When we’d first revived Starlight Glimmer, she railed about the Ministry of Awesome scientists running that facility as having lied to her about where her daughter really was and what they’d been doing to her. If the bombs hadn’t fallen when they had, I wondered what Moonbeam’s ultimate fate would have ended up being?

“Should I keep that ‘light’s out’ thing in mind then? As a way to snap you out of robo-mode?” I offered.

Moonbeam grimaced, “I’ve already changed the protocols,” the mare said tersely, “and I’ll be keeping the new pass phrases to myself. No offense.”

“Oh. Right, sure,” I didn’t press the issue, but I’d be lying if I said I was put completely at easy by her statements. If she found it difficult to reassert herself on her own, then why wouldn’t she want me or somepony else to be able to snap her back to herself for her? Maybe it was a robopony thing...or whatever she was. Cyberpony? It was hard to think of her that way, since there wasn’t all that much ‘meat’ in her makeup; and what there was...well, I couldn’t honestly bring myself to call that...thing that I’d seen in the tank a ‘pony’. I felt a little guilty thinking that way, and I wouldn’t―under pain of death―ever reveal that thought out loud, but the instinctive reluctance was still there.

‘Moonbeam’, to me, wasn’t that blob of disfigured limbs in the tank, speaking through a robopony body. She was a robopony who had a very unique processor. Whether that was the right or wrong way to think about it, I didn’t much care. I still liked her, regardless.

What I most certainly didn’t like was our overall situation. We were very quickly running out of places that I could turn to for help. Knowing the precise location of our target didn’t do us any good if we could muster the forces to actually do anything about it. The Republic wasn’t going to spare me anything more than a trip to the gallows if I went anywhere near them. Now it seemed that I’d lost whatever support I’d been building with the Steel Rangers too.

It turned my stomach a little to hear what had happened to Hoplite. I idly wondered if merely mentioning my offer to her superiors had been enough to earn her such a drastic demotion. From our last couple of meetings, I certainly couldn’t see her as being the type to stick her neck out there for me on anything, let alone something that would get her punished like that. Could she have had more integrity than I gave most Rangers credit for? She’d been around long enough to have known the original leadership that headed the Ministry of Wartime Technology, so I supposed that it was possible her sense of duty and what was ‘right’ didn’t completely jive with modern Ranger doctrine.

After all, as long as she’d been a part of the Steel Rangers, I suspected that there had to be a reason the ghoul hadn’t been elevated to the position of Elder…

So, two of the big super-powers in the Valley were now, officially, a wash. I could think of only three other major factions in the area:

Obviously, there was the Grand Pegasus Enlcave. Though, their inclusion on this short list was purely for academic reasons. The xenophobic fliers didn’t involved themselves with ‘surface matters’ as a rule. Even if I could figure out some way to get into contact with them, I couldn’t think of any way to get them to help us. They wouldn’t lift a feather unless they felt that Arginine’s stable represented a threat to them too, and even I couldn’t see how those ponies could possibly pose any sort of danger to the cloud-bound nation.

Another non-starter was the White Hooves. Even assuming that they’d gotten their act together after Jackboot killed their leader, I’d genuinely rather die than go crawling to them for help.

That left a group that, really, wasn’t all that bad of an option: the casino barons of New Reino. I wasn’t convinced that I’d be able to get them to help out of any sense of duty or altruism like the Republic or Rangers might have, but those ponies were at least forward-thinking enough to recognize that they weren’t going to stay in business for very long if all of their customers were dead. New Reino didn’t have a standing army, per say, that was true, but the barons had close ties with every major mercenary outfit in Neighvada. If I couldn’t convince them to put together something on their own, then I could at least use those connections to hire a suitable force of my own.

All that I’d need is enough liquid capital.

I did have a decent nest-egg for myself built up, sure; but nowhere even close to what it would take to bankroll a whole army!

But...I might no where I could get my hooves on enough merchandise to sell for what I’d need. If Achilles had really been telling me the truth about giving me the locations to all the pre-war sites that the Steel Rangers knew about, and the MoA cache hadn’t been among them, then that meant that there was a stockpile of advanced weaponry just laying around out there in the Wasteland. More than enough to cover the forces I’d need to hire.

First things first though: I needed to get to McMaren and prove to Homily that I hadn’t, in fact, murdered Princess Luna. Even if they weren’t part of the New Lunar Republic, the rulers of New Reino weren’t going to be very receptive towards the pony who’d destabilized their biggest trading partner and certainly impacted both their trade economy and their primary source of tourists.

Bounty hunters were going to be a problem too, now that I thought about it. Pritchel and Medica knew enough not to try and come after me, sure, but I doubted that they’d be doing much to get the word out that I was more trouble than any amount offered for my head could possibly cover. After all, the more hunters I took out, the less competition they’d have for future work.

Even if I cleared my name to the satisfaction of ‘Miss Neighvada’, and even the ponies of New Reino, Ebony Song was going to keep insisting on the narrative he’d built, and keep a bounty up there for my capture or death. Nothing I could do would change his mind on that.

Maybe I was better off keeping my nose out of public places…

When Moonbeam and I finally returned to the house, I’d put together a tentative plan to suggest to the smarter ponies of our little band. Which was to say: everypony who wasn’t me.

“We’re splitting up,” I began, and I could already see more than a few dubious expressions being shared among the others, “we have a lot to get done, and not a lot of time to do it in. Foxglove, I want you, Ramparts, and Arginine to head to New Reino. You know the casino barons and who we need to talk to about hiring mercenaries. Start sniffing out groups that you think we’ll be able to rely on, and what price they’re asking for. Arginine’ll be able to give you an idea of the approximate numbers we’ll be up against at his stable.

“Ramparts,” I turned to the earth pony, and flashed him a wry smile, “help out Foxglove as much as you can, but feel free to spend time with Yatima and you foal too.”

“What about you?” the violet unicorn mare asked.

“Starlight, Moonbeam, and I will be going to McMaren,” I informed her, “once I’ve cleared everything up with Homily, we’re going to track down that weapons cache. We’ll use it to bankroll the mercenaries you find.

“From there...well, we’ll figure out what needs to be done to strike at Arginine’s stable,” I knew nothing about coordinating large scale assaults or anything like that. Organizing a strike with a couple of ponies against a band of bandits or monsters? Sure. Jackboot and I had done that a hundred times. But massive military actions involving hundreds, or even thousands of ponies? I didn’t know the first thing about that. That would be solely in the hooves of whatever ponies were in charge of the mercenaries that we hired. All I should need to do is point them at the stable and say ‘go’. Then pay them when everything was done.

There were still a couple of unsure expressions from the other ponies. Foxglove and Arginine among them. Ramparts seemed to be perfectly content with going to new Reino, and Starlight was happy as long as she got to remain with her daughter. Moonbeam hardly cared where she was going, of course. The violet unicorn was simply very uneasy about leaving my side. I had to admit that the last few times that had happened, she’d returned to find me a little worse for wear, so I could understand her trepidation. Still, of all of us, she knew New Reino the best.

Arginine’s hesitancy was a little harder to parse. He shouldn’t really care where he was going or who he’d be with. I decided to talk with him about it later. For now, “everypony get packed up. The sooner we get our jobs done, the sooner we can meet back up again,” I tapped my pipbuck and gestured to Ramparts, “we can keep each other updated if anything comes up.”

Starlight Glimmer groaned, “we’re really going to leave already? Can’t we take a day or two to rest or something?”

“You can ride on my back if you want,” Moonbeam offered, her pink eyes sparkling with a hint of mirth, “not many fillies get to give their mother a ponyback ride before ever getting one.”

I could see how that was meant to be funny, and even found myself smiling at the joke, but the pink unicorn winced and looked away. Obviously, her history with her daughter would be a sore topic for a while longer yet. I cleared my throat and spoke up quickly before the awkwardness of the ensuing silence got too cumbersome, “we’ll spend some time in McMaren,” I assured her, then I looked at the robopony, “I want you to look over that underground facility we found there last time,” at Moonbeam’s questioning glance, “it was full of roboponies that were at least as advanced looking as you,” I added in a more somber tone, “and there was a filly there who was like you. Maybe there will be some answers.”

“‘Was’?” Moonbeam pressed, catching the tense that I had used.

It was my turn to wince now, “she…” my voice caught for a moment, and I felt it tighten as I relieved the memories of what I’d done, even if I hadn’t meant to, “she wasn’t asleep the whole time like you were,” I finally managed, “she was tired. She wanted to...she tricked me into turning her...off,” I couldn’t bring myself to use the k-word, even if that’s what it had really been.

“I see,” was all the reply that I got from Moonbeam. Not that I was sure what else I would have wanted her to say. Honestly, the less I had to talk about the event, the better.

“So...yeah,” I cleared my throat and did myself to perk myself up, “let’s get going. We have a Wasteland to save!” Much to my own surprise, I even managed to sound excited at the prospect. Everypony nodded and we bent to our tasks.

It worked out that Arginine and I had spent the night in my parents’ old bedroom, because that meant that was where we both headed to pack up our respective gear. Arginine was being his usual stoic, silent, self as he reviewed his own meager possessions, so it fell to me to initiate a dialogue, “you didn’t look happy downstairs,” I noted, in an attempt to draw something out of him.

“I never look happy,” was his flat reply, “nor angry, nor sad.”

“You know what I mean,” I said, rolling my eyes, “and you’re avoiding the question. I know you better than you think, and something’s bothering you. If you can be my shoulder to cry on, I can be yours. What’s wrong?”

The stallion was silent for a moment, then, “you are sending me away.”

I paused in my packing and looked around at the large grey stallion, my lips curled up in a smile, “are you...are you going to miss me, RG?” the stallion snorted, evoking a giggle from me as I continued, “and I’m not ‘sending you away’. I’m splitting the group us so that we get get twice as much done.

“Foxy knows New Reino and the ponies to talk to. Ramparts knows military stuff, and will be able to help her talk ‘soldier’ with the any mercenaries we try to hire, and you can give Ramparts an idea of how many ponies we’ll need to bring to the fight,” I pointed out, “Starlight and Moonbeam wouldn’t be any help there, and I need Moonbeam with me to convince Homily of what happened anyway. I don’t need any of you though,” I winced at the way that had sounded, noting the stallion’s own sour look, “I didn’t mean it like that!”

I flitted over and leaned up against the stallion, “all I’m saying is that is that this is the way that I can see to get the best results in the least amount of time. Can you tell me honestly that you’d be more help to us in McMaren than New Reino?”

“No,” Arginine admitted, “I cannot,” after another moment’s thought, he looked down at me, “my initial concern was for how best to maintain your emotional stability without access to physical stimulation as a means of stress relief,” and with that, my coat shifted from white to red, the feathers on my wings frizzing out in a rather undignified fashion. If Arginine noted my reaction, he said nothing, though I couldn’t see how he’d have missed it, “though, I must concede that, in light of recent events, you do seem to be taking the setbacks you have suffered rather well.”

That little reminder quelled my embarrassment just as quickly as it had flared. He wasn’t wrong. A younger me―that is to say: me from a month ago―would probably have had a full on mental breakdown over seeing all of her plans shattered so utterly in less than a week. However, for better or worse, present me was growing some rather thick mental calluses in the wake of such monumental setbacks in recent history. The sad truth was that is wasn’t that I wasn’t taking how things with the Republic and the Rangers had gone hard; it was just that...well, I was sort of used to it by now.

Of course things hadn’t worked out with them. Why should they have? Things hadn’t with out with the Lancers. Or the ponies of Santa Mara. Notel. Jackboot…

My life at this point could be boiled down to a string of unending disappointments. If I broke down and cried every single time I took another blow just like this, well, I’d just be crying all the damn time. Truth to tell: I was all cried out.

“It is what it is,” I shrugged, “but we’re not out of options yet,” I looked up at the stallion and managed to conjure up a wry smirk, “if things in New Reino didn’t pan out, or it turns out there is no secret weapon’s cache, then I’ll probably need some of that ‘physical stimulation’,” if either of those things went bust, all hope of saving the valley―and the wider Wasteland―would go up in flames with them. At that point, knowing that everypony was doomed to die, I was probably going to need a lot of ‘stimulation’...

“But, until then,” I fluttered up and gave the stallion a peck on the lips before drifting back to my gear, “let’s hope for the best. Heck, if things actually do work out, maybe we can try out some genuine celebratory sex! I’m told that some ponies actually do it when they’re really happy too, after all,” I winked at the stallion.

Yeah, fooling around because I felt too good not to want to struck me as something to look forward to.

Positive waves, Winfall; positive waves...

Footnote: Level Up!
Perk Added: Robotics Expert - Some of your best friends are robots(sort of?); 25% bonus to damage to roboponies and a chance to shut them down when you sneak up on them.
Sneak skill at 50

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