“Anything interesting going on around here?”

I could recall with vivid clarity the first time I knew that I was crazy. That first moment, when my estranged kin began to chide and deride just about everything I ever thought or did.

There was this bar in Megamart, back in Hoofington. At least, it was there when I first arrived. Who could say for sure if it still existed all these years later. When I knew it, it was exactly the sort of place I liked. Quiet, out of the way, and cheap. There was also a steady stream of mares willing to demean themselves for a quick cap, especially if you bought them a few rounds first. Everything that I was looking for when it came to relaxing between Wasteland adventures.

One day, a mare walked in that I hadn't seen there before. Ragged looking thing. It had looked like she'd just stumbled out of the worst parts of the Wastes. She didn't have a cap to her name, naturally. Wasn't particularly cute either, in my estimation. In fact, I would have been completely oblivious to that mare, except that she had born an uncanny resemblance to Whiplash. Her coat had been the right shade of dirty yellow, though most of that was probably the grime. Her mane had been the right color as well; and though her red eyes bore a timidity that had been absent from the sibling I'd seen order my execution, their shade was almost a match too.

That was when I'd first heard the tiny little voice in the back of my mind. So soft at first, but present. It had urged me to approach the mare, buy her a meal, offer her a drink. She'd been hesitant at first. I wasn't exactly the vision of altruism back in that day, when looking like a pony that could hold his own in a fight was what kept you from getting pounced by every two-cap lowlife looking for an easy target. But she hadn't been in much of a position to refuse, not really. So she had accepted the food, and my company along with it.

The voice kept whispering to me, feeding me what to say to the mare. I expressed my condolences when she told me about how the cannibalistic raiders of the Hoofington area had descended on her family's caravan. She'd been the only survivor, and had lost everything in the attack. She didn't know what to do, and was frightened for the future. It was a tragic story, to be sure.

At the urging of that little voice, which was growing ever louder and clearer in my head, I offered her a place to stay until she got on her feet. I'd pay for her meals, provide her with a bed to sleep in. Again she hesitated at first, but a few carefully posed questions about her other available options and a couple more rounds of Wild Pegasus, and the little earth pony mare agreed to follow me home.

That voice became very loud in my head that night; and I was finally able to place it. It had been the voice of my father, and he screamed for me to perform every sort of depravity I could conceive of on the unfortunate mare that looked so much like that bitch who'd destroyed my life. Celestia damn me if I didn't listen to him too.

Damn that mare for being stupid enough to follow me home again the next night. Steel Bit had only just been getting started that first time. The second night, things started to get out of hoof. Before I even knew what I was doing or why, I was actually punching her in the face and screaming Whiplash's name at the top of my lungs. It was a miracle I didn't kill her.

There hadn't been a third night, because that morning I gathered up everything I owned and left for Flank.

The experience had shaken me to my core. Steel Bit had managed to become a constant companion from that moment on. He'd always been there, I realized. I'd always heard a quiet little voice in my head reminding me what my father would expect of me. It had been that little voice that got me through all my arena fights growing up, and let me do what needed to be done to the ponies that bucked the indisputable superiority of the White Hooves.

I just hadn't known what the voice meant until that moment; when I stopped being Jackboot looking to have a good time with a pliant mare; and became Steel Bit, screaming obscenities at the daughter too weak and worthless to resist him.

From that moment on, I knew that I was crazy, and that I needed to keep a close eye on that voice, and the ones that followed.

Then there was this moment right now, when I realized that I had finally snapped completely under the weight of the stress the Wasteland built up in my life.

Like part of some prepubescent little fantasy, Foxglove had wandered into my room and made some rather unexpected—if not unpleasant—sexual advances. Not wanting to disrespect the spirit of what had clearly been a dream, I had cooperated with—what I would look back at in hindsight as—a rather embarrassing amount of enthusiasm. Things had started escalating quickly, as was expected in a purely mental encounter such as this.

Then the moment had come to a rather abrupt halt as my attention was drawn by the two hundred year old picture of a mare that I had just met that evening. Given the context of everything that had been happening up until that moment, such a sight could have been very easily chalked up some underlying portion of my psyche creating a random nonsensical moment; as dreams were often want to do. Of course, even for my rapidly unhinging mind, that picture had been a bit too on the nose.

Frankly, under most conditions, my subconscious had all the wit and creativity of a radroach.

Of course, the picture had just been the beginning of my unraveling. Strike two had been the sound of Foxglove's voice coming from the other side of the door to my temporary quarters. The voice of the same Foxglove that I was currently engaged with in my bed. Neither of these, somehow, prepared me for what strike three was going to be...

There was a brief flash of green light arcing around the edge of the door frame, and then the simple wooden portal fell down. I watched in stunned silence as a doppelganger of the violet unicorn that I had been traveling with for the past few weeks stormed into the room with what at first had been an expression of worry and concern. Her face blanched rather suddenly as her eyes found me and...herself, on the bed. Very quickly, and with a speed that was hard to keep up with, she adopted a rapid string of emotions and sputters that finally ended on something very much like cold fury. The unicorn mare was very silent as she looked at the two of us. Her eldrich lance hovered at her side, the tip of it glowing with a sickly green light.

Who she intended to use it on next seemed rather unclear, even to her, right now.

Without a word, she strode further into the room, dragging something behind her in an emerald telekinetic field. Very few things could have torn my attention away from the furious looking double of the mare that I was mounting. Somehow, this second Foxglove had managed to bring just one of those things with her.

Adding to the list of impossible things that had happened in the last two minutes, I watched, my mouth agape, as Foxglove dragged into the room, a neatly bound and gagged...me. A me that was looking very much just as resigned as the mare that I was sharing a bed with.

“This is the weirdest dream I've ever had in my life,” I mumbled, half in shock.

“It's not a dream, moron,” the lance-wielding Foxglove snapped, looking patently disgusted with what she was seeing, “now would you mind...stopping that, so we can get to the bottom of this?”

I blinked, “this isn't a dream?”

“No. It's not,” Foxglove number two reiterated. I looked down at the unicorn beneath me, who nodded her own head in resigned confirmation.

I blinked again, “what's going on?” I asked weakly, still not moving. I couldn't genuinely be seeing a copy of myself and Foxglove, could I?

“Get off the bed!” the angry Foxglove screamed at the top of her lungs.

It wasn't the most graceful dismount I'd ever executed. Then again, I'd never done so under conditions quite like these before. This was...very much not a dream, I began to realize as my brain stopped grinding its gears and managed to finally start gaining some momentum. The EFS became the focus of my attention now as I looked around the room. Two of the blips in the room were flickering the way they had outside. Only the Foxglove with the lance retained a perpetual solid yellow color; which I took to be a good sign on my part. As furious as she looked, it was immeasurably comforting to know that she wasn't going to dice me up any time soon.

Though that wasn't to say that I hadn't seen such a blip turn crimson at the drop of a bit in the past. So I made a note to remain on my best behavior until the situation had been resolved.

Beyond the room, I noted a second yellow tick that must have been Windfall, as well as an additional flickering dot.

“Windfall?” I asked, that cold wave of concern for the pegasus doing far more to douse me back into complete lucidity than the rather surreal moments earlier.

“She's fine,” the armed unicorn assured me, not taking her eyes off of...herself, “she's keeping an eye on...um...another you.”

“What?” Exactly how many of me were there in this place?

The purple unicorn on the bed groaned in exasperation, adopting an icy glare of her own at the bound stallion on the floor, “you doubled up? What are you, stupid? You never double up!” she grunted with disgust at me. Er, the other me.

The rust colored stallion on the floor wriggled his head in an effort that managed to get him just free enough of the improvised gag so that he could respond. If I thought that seeing a duplicate of myself had been disorienting, that was nothing compared to hearing that double speak with my own voice, “we didn't have a choice,” he insisted defensively. He jerked his head in my direction, “he was the only believable option for both of them.”

“Really?” the mare on the bed said, looking in my—the real me's—direction, “color me impressed.”

“What the fuck is going on here?” I demanded, “who the fuck are you?” more importantly, I suppose, “what are you?”

“Oh, now that would be telling,” the bed borne Foxglove smiled coyly.

“How about 'telling' why we shouldn't kill the both of you right now?” the pony I presumed was the real Foxglove growled, her lance darting over to her twin. The end crackled menacingly with green light as the enraged unicorn threatened to duplicate with the mare, the same trick she had just performed on the door.

“We don't mean you any harm,” the other mare insisted. She kept her tone far cooler than most probably would have under the circumstances. She kept a wary eye on the lance, but otherwise retained an eased composure.

“So then what the fuck was all this about?” Foxglove snarled.

“We just want you, all of you, to feel happy,” the other mare said in a reassuring tone, “to feel loved.

“That's it,” she frowned slightly now, “I'm sorry you found out like this. Most ponies don't catch on so quick,” her glared returned as she briefly glanced back at the bound stallion, “of course, most of the time we don't double up...”

“Hey, it wasn't my fault” the other stallion snapped sourly, “she knew something was up before she saw both of us.”

“Oh?” the other purple unicorn was looking at Foxglove now. I was looking at her curiously as well.

Foxglove glanced in my direction, “you came into the shower and tried to kiss me. So I punched you in the face. I knew it was something you'd never try on me,” her cold gaze looked at her double for a moment and then back at me, “we're going to have to have a talk after this, by the way.”

“I suggest you start with techniques,” the unicorn on the bed smirked, “because he needs to work on his,” her eyes danced in my direction with a pitying glint, “do you even know what you're doing down there?”

Despite herself, the real Foxglove seemed to momentarily laps in her ire and actually let out a short braying laugh that she immediately reined in. For my part, I was rather bewildered by how the conversation had managed to derail so suddenly from discussing why there were ponies pretending to be us to my alleged lack of bedroom prowess. The unicorn with the lance had managed to recompose herself and resume her serious glare at the imposters, but the one on the bed was still smirking with amusement.

“Wha-?” I stammered, caught off guard by the unflattering appraisal, which I felt was a rather unfair one, given that, “we barely even did anything! It'd been less than a minute!”

The mare snorted, “once you've been with as many ponies as I have, you can tell immediately whether they're bringing anything worthwhile.”

“Exactly how many ponies have you slept with?” I cocked my eyebrow, unable to restrain my curiosity.

“Hundreds?” the mare frowned as she mentally tallied her conquests, “hey, Coleo,” she looked at the bound stallion, “what was that monthly average you calculated a while back?”

“Five point three seven,” he replied.

“So, I guess that makes it somewhere around...six hundred?”

“Give or take,” he nodded his confirmation.

“Trust me, there was a lot more taking in there,” the mare frowned sourly, “I feel like I'm always stuck being the mare...”

“Can we focus, please?” I ventured, wondering once more how we'd wandered so far off of what should have been the primary focus of the conversation. We were being attacked after all...weren't we? I mean, I guess if we were, it had to be one of the most underwhelming ambushes that I'd ever been a part of. Yet, also one of the more stimulating too. If, not incredibly flattering.

“Funny, I was wanting you to do the same thing just a few minutes ago...”

“Anyway!” I growled in frustration, focusing my attention on the unicorn standing near the door in an attempt to address our more pressing concerns, “so what's the plan? Shoot our way out?”

Foxglove frowned as she considered the option, “we need to find the others first, and find out if they're in danger or not.”

“Ugh! Nopony's in danger,” the other mare insisted, “we don't want you dead.”

“So...what? You just want to have sex with us because...?” Foxglove prompted.

“Because we want you to feel good,” she assured us, looking genuinely exasperated, “what's so wrong about that?” cautiously, she rose up from the bed and stepped off. The lance continued to hover nearby, but Foxglove allowed her double the leeway to get up. The doppelganger's eyes were on me, “obviously, she doesn't like you being with a pony that looks like her, but that's an easy fix,” she smiled as a wave of jade fire ignited at the tip of her nose and swept through her entire body.

In the blink of an eye, I was no longer staring at a duplicate of Foxglove, but of the lithe ivory flier in the next room. She was a perfect representation of Windfall, down to the little scars that marked her flesh. Blemishes born of a hard and violent life in the Wasteland. One of her wings flipped up and brushed my cheek as those intense blue eyes bore into mine, “oh...” she cooed as she looked up at me, speaking in the same soft voice of the pegasus, “I think you like this one better anyway...”

I pulled away from the pony that wasn't Windfall, swallowing hard as I firmly instructed my body not to react to this mare's advances, “what do you really look like?” I croaked out hoarsely.

The seductive little smile of the pegasus mare's face faltered slightly, “there's no fantasy in that,” she said coolly, “no feelings of longing and desire. You don't want the real me,” she glanced at her outstretched wing as she brought the tip to her mouth and gently nibbled at it, “you want her.”

“There's got to be somepony out there you wouldn't punch for trying to kiss you,” my own double chimed in from his place on the floor, looking up at Foxglove, “I'm perfectly willing to be that pony for you. Stallion, mare, it doesn't matter much to me,” he looked at his hooves, “you can even keep me tired up, if that's what you're into?”

“We need to warn the others,” Foxglove insisted. She didn't seem at all interested in taking my double up on his offer; which inflicted a disappointed frown on the propositioning pony.

“Yeah,” I nodded my head in agreement, not taking my eyes off of the uncanny recreation of Windfall in front of me. The pegasus' face soured at my assent, “we should get out of here.”

Windfall was no longer looking sultry, but disappointed. She let out a defeated sigh, “we could have had a lot of fun, you and I. I could have taught you a lot about making a mare squeal,” then she shrugged, “oh well. I'm sure the others will be enough.”

Before I could work out what the ivory pegasus had meant by that, she lunged at me. It was actually a rather terrifying sight, as the pony diving for me lost many of the features that made her a pegasus and acquired a few that firmly classified her as something...else. Her mouth unhinged to a frighteningly unnatural width, revealing a maw filled with countless black, needle-like, fangs. Flecks of green spittle flew out of her mouth on the cusp of a high-pitched screech that threatened to shatter my eardrums. Her brilliant sapphire eyes clouded to pale cyan orbs that were devoid of pupils.

I was being attacked by something that I could only describe as a demon wearing the skin of a pony. I was also unarmed, and those fangs looked like they could have easily bitten me in half if they got a good hold of me. It didn't look like Foxglove was going to able to use her lance to give me any support either, as the unicorn was dealing with her own problem at the moment. Either here knot tying skills were far less impressive than her mechanical prowess, or my double had been faking this whole time. In either case, he was very much free and rolling around on the floor with Foxglove. She'd managed to get her lance in between them, using it to keep his own gnashing jaws occupied.

Perhaps I held no weapons, but I wasn't without some ability. I met the mare's charge and spun with the momentum of the attack. A quick step and a little pressure with my foreleg, and I managed to send Windfall's double flipping over into the wall, where she collided with a rather pronounced crackling sound. Another burst of emerald flame surrounded her. When it dissipated, I wasn't looking at Windfall anymore.

The pony that rolled up onto its hooves and snapped its maw at me in a vicious snarl was a pony only in the sense that it shared some of the most basic anatomical characteristics. It was possessed of four limbs than ended in hooves, but those limbs, like the rest of its body, were as black as the inside of a gun barrel. The lower sections of those limbs looked like they had been shot away, possessing several holes that penetrated clear through. A pair of sheer blue wings quivered on its back, adding a furious faint buzzing sound to the room. Those pale blue monochrome eyes were framed within a glistening black shell of a skull. A twisted facsimile of a horn protruded from its forehead.

Damn, Whiplash remarked in a deadpanned tone, and you were about to fuck it, too.

“Not helping!” I lashed out with my right hoof and caught the creature in its jaw. When I had caressed this thing as Foxglove, their flesh had felt as soft and pliable as that of any mare. Beneath my hoof now, with its true form revealed, was a cold carapace that reminded me of hitting a Sparkle-Cola bottle. Only, not nearly as fragile.

It reeled at the hit, but shook the blow off rather quickly. Its mouth opened up to that unnatural degree once more and released a braying scream that set my skull vibrating before it lunged a second time. That gaping chasm of ebony daggers looked like they intended to swallow my whole head. I reflexively swept up with my left leg. I heard the sound of grinding metal as those jaws clamped down onto the casing of the old pipbuck strapped around my limb. The force of the collision pitched me onto my back; and suddenly I found myself in a position very similar to the one that I'd seen Foxglove in only a few moments ago.

The difference was that I knew a good deal more than the unicorn about how to turn this fight around.

I relaxed my left arm and let the shape shifting monster get her head to within mere inches of my face. Then I through my right hoof around its neck while simultaneously kicking out with my left hind leg at its own rear limbs. I felt the momentary shift in the creature's weight as it suddenly lost its support for its flank and took the initiative by throwing my weight to my left, using my right hind leg to help propel the roll. Thrown off balance by the sudden shift in their center of gravity as their body was simultaneously pulled forward and without any hind legs for stability, I had little problem in putting them on their back.

Now I was the pony on top in this fight. Their teeth were still clamped around my pipbuck, but that only worked even more in my favor. I leaned my own weight forward, pinning the creature's head to the floor. My free right hoof pummeled them mercilessly in what I knew to be vulnerable portions of the head for a typical breed of pony. They looked vaguely similar enough, so I hoped that there might be a little parallel in that regard as well. My hoof came down again and again on the orbit of their eye socket and the point where their jaw attached to the rest of their skull.

I could feel their own forelegs frantically kicking at me in an attempt to push me away from them; but it was too late. Their mandible cracked with sickening clarity under my vicious strikes, robbing them of their control of their own jaw. Limp fangs caught on the squared edges of my pipbuck, locking it in their mouth and thus fixing me in place close to them. I ignored the hooves raking my ribcage and continued my assault on their skull. The screeching was muffled, and had taken on a rather desperate tone as they desperately thrashed in an effort to dislodge me; but I wasn't going anywhere.

Finally I felt their orbit give way beneath my hoof. A web of cracks exploded across the monster's face as the ebony shell shattered. Pale blue spheres that had once been filled with a desire to kill and rend my flesh from my bones, now glistened with terror as they beheld my own determined snarl. There was an emerald flash of flame as my hoof came down for the killing blow.

My snarl fell away in an instant. A brief glimmer of despair gripped my heart as my mind reacted to what it saw, and not what it truly knew deep down. I would later reflect on this moment, and know what this demon pony had intended. It had simply been too late for their plan to have any meaningful affect. My strike was already committed. I couldn't have recalled it even if I'd been possessed of a desire to.

So it was that I found myself with my rusty red hoof buried in the skull of an alabaster pegasus mare with a short teal striped mane and bright blue eyes. The image held for only the briefest of moments. Whatever magic the monster had used to create its illusions died with its body. The eyes paled, the mane vanished, and the white darkened into black before my eyes. Yet, for that one impossible moment, contrary to everything I knew intellectually; I was haunted by a thought that shook me to my core:

I had killed Windfall.

It was a lie, and I knew that almost as soon as the thought entered my brain. Yet, that did nothing to erase the memory of how I had felt for that single fleeting second. My hoof had dealt a lethal strike to the mare I had spent the better part of a decade protecting and raising. For that fraction of a second...I'd heard Steel Bit laughing with unbridled mirth.

He'd sounded a lot like me.

Did we learn something about ourselves, Brother dear?

“Little help?!”

I looked across the room. Foxglove was still struggling with her own adversary. In the back of my mind, I made a mental note to induct the unicorn into the same unarmed instruction course that I had put Windfall through when I'd taken the pegasus on. If the mare was going to be a permanent fixture in our group, she was going to need to learn how to fight. In the meantime, I dashed over to my discarded barding and drew my knife from its sheath. The monstrous creature trying to sink their fangs into Foxglove's face and didn't even seem to notice my approach.

With a flick of my head, I sank the combat knife clutched in my teeth into the creature's throat. It was a monster that I'd never seen before and I knew nothing about their biology. They did look a lot like ponies though, even when not wearing one of us as a disguise, so I was hoping that they possessed similar critical points. Whether I hit something vital or not, my strike certainly grabbed the creature's attention. It reared up, letting loose a piercing scream whose volume forced me to wince. The reaction was a least enough for Foxglove to free her lance from its grasp. The unicorn wasted little time in turning it from a defensive barrier into an offensive weapon. There was a brief emerald flash and the scream abruptly ended.

I shook the knife, dislodging the severed head and thorax from the blade, letting the chunk of dead flesh fall to the floor and join the other half of the corpse. Only a momentary glance was spared for the unicorn mare before I charged out of the room and sought out Windfall. Both the solid yellow blip that was the pegasus, and the now solid red dot which must have been the third creature were just about on top of each other. The anxiety over what I might find when I arrived drove me to move far more quickly than I would otherwise have thought possible.

That anxiety was immediately proven to have been misplaced. While Foxglove's knowledge of hoof-to-hoof combat was virtually non-existent, Windfall had been practicing such skills for the majority of her life. So while the violet unicorn had been immediately pinned and was only barely able to keep her attacker at bay, the ivory flier was actually the dominant party in the altercation with her opponent.

Which made things a little uncomfortable for myself, as the pony that she currently had restrained in an obviously painful hold was, well, me. A rather fresh memory of a recent altercation between the two of us flashed through my head. Both ponies glanced up from their tussle and locked their eyes on me.

“Feel free to join in at any time,” came the growled invitation.

Except, it hadn't been Windfall who had made the comment. There was a brief moment where I simply stood in the doorway in confusion as to why that impostor could possibly have thought that I was there to help them in the fight. Then I almost immediately recalled that a couple minutes ago, there had been a second disguised version of myself. This doppelganger must have thought that I was their friend come to help them.

Judging from the icy expression on Windfall's face, she had jumped to that same conclusion.

Horseapples.

“No, wait-!”

The garbled words barely even made it out of my mouth before the pegasus was in motion. While my instruction had provided a solid foundation for the flier's knowledge of close quarters brawling, her drastically different physiology had allowed for innovative variations of those techniques that I could never have conceived of, let alone performed. I was restricted to two possible fulcrums during a fight: my shoulders and my hips. Any throw or movement required that at least one of those parts of my body be in contact with something rooted in order to transfer power into a hit or throw. Windfall possessed a third such point: her wings. What was more, these could use the very air itself as a platform to push against.

Everywhere and anywhere was a surface against which she could brace herself, so long as she had room enough to spread her wings. The young pegasus demonstrated this fact now by flipping her whole body around while still maintaining her iron grip on the pony in her grasp, dragging them along for the ride. Windfall wasn't just spinning in mid air either, a flick of her wings had propelled her forward, bringing her hind hooves within reach of my head when they finished arcing around. I managed to get a leg up in time to ward off the brunt of the hit, but the momentum of her flip soon brought my doppelganger around to collide with me as Windfall released her hold and used them as a cudgel against me.

That hit I had not been ready for, and taking the thrown weight of a full-sized pony sent me sailing back out through the doorway into the hall beyond. I hit the far wall with a grunt and felt the knife go flying from my mouth. Judging from the pained sound nearby that closely mirrored my own, my double had not enjoyed the exchange either.

“Damn does that pegasus know how to fight,” I heard somepony nearby mutter in my own voice.

“Tell me about it,” I grumbled in reply as I struggled to my hooves. I soon found myself looking into my own face, which was currently regarding me with an expression that bordered on confused. Familiar brown eyes searched mine for a few brief seconds, then went wide with surprise.

“Wait, you're not...oh fuck!”

The hallway felt a lot more crowded now. Foxglove had emerged from the room that we'd been fighting in, and Windfall was in the doorway that I'd just been thrown through. The unicorn's expression was uncertain, while the flier's was murderous. My double noticed those other two ponies and seemed to draw the correct conclusion about what had happened to their comrades. Then I was surprised when I saw his concern shift to mirth as he lowered his head and snarled at me.

“Come here, you impostor!”

“Wait. What-?”

Then they were upon. I'll admit that the initial charge had surprised me as my brain had tried to make sense of what they had meant by their comment. After all, they were the impostor, not me! It only took a couple of seconds rolling around on the floor to figure out what the plan had been though. I knew which of us was the real Jackboot, and who the monster actually was; but how would either of the other two be able to tell? My double even had a pipbuck on their leg.

We grappled in the hall for several minutes. That wasn't to say that this was a melee that I was in danger of losing any time soon. I maintained a noticeable upper hoof throughout; but it was hard to truly put this other pony down definitively. Every time I was about to get them in a fight-ending hold, they'd slip away at the last moment. I was certain that they were briefly and subtly morphing their form to escape my grasp. However, if they were, it wasn't producing the same sort of obvious visual display that their total metamorphoses produced.

Eventually, my double managed to successfully escape from me completely and put several feet of distance between us. I was about to lunge at them and renew our tussle, but it seemed that Foxglove at least had grown tired of waiting for a victor to emerge. Before I'd even made it half a step, her lance interjected itself between us, flashing a warning flare from its cutting tip. I immediately came to a halt, glancing at the two mares. My doppelganger did the same.

The unicorn exchanged a brief look with Windfall, her expression uncertain, “how do we figure this out?”

Windfall thought for a moment, her eyes shifting between the two Jackboots standing in front of her, “I could ask them something only the real Jackboot would know,” she suggested.

To my mind that sounded like a rather good idea, and I was about to make such a comment when my double spoke up, “what good's that going to do?” he protested irritably, “these things can probably read our minds,” he flashed me a lethal glare, “they did try to make themselves look like ponies that we'd let get close to us. How could they know that?”

“You lying sack of shit,” I spat, “you just don't want her asking the questions because you know it'll find you out!”

“And you want her to ask the questions because you'll just read the answers from her head,” he looked at the pegasus, “and what happens when I get it wrong because I might not remember what happened as well as you do; while all that thing has to do is look in your head?”

I looked on with seething rage as the creature wearing my face appealed to the flier. There was fear in me too, as I could see that Windfall looked like she was buying that load of lies, “you lying fuck,” I snarled, ready to launch at them again and renew our fight. Only Foxglove's hovering lance kept me playing nice as she sent it darting in between us to keep the tentative peace in the hall.

Windfall looked at the unicorn, doubting her suggestion now, “could that be true?”

“I don't know,” she admitted. Her own tone suggested that she was seriously considering the idea to be plausible. I kept my mouth shut, biting back my anger. My doppelganger certainly had a way of playing off of the doubts of other ponies where their friend's identities were concerned. He'd probably been through this sort of stand off before.

Given that he was still standing here; if he had done this before, he was obviously good at it. Probably a lot better than I would be, since I'd never had to convince somepony that I was the real Jackboot before.

“What else could we try?” Windfall asked of the other mare.

“They bleed green blood,” Foxglove pointed out.

“Are you seriously going to shoot us?” Much to my own dour amusement, the both of us managed to asked the same question with nearly identical tones; which did nothing to raise my hopes of winning this competition.

“It'd just be a graze,” Windfall offered helpfully. Neither of us looked amused, “well then what else can we do?!” she said in exasperation, “you both look completely identical!”

She was right about that. Looking at that other rust-colored pony standing beside me felt like a rather unsettling out of body experience. My double had even go so far as to mimic the little scars on my face and limbs. Every little detail had been replicated perfectly, right down to my...

My eyes widened, an a smirk tugged at my lips, “my brand,” I said, softly at first, and then more loudly, “the brand on my back!” I jabbed my hoof in the direction of the other me, “he doesn't have it!”

There was a moment's confusion on the other stallion's face, but he was quick to cover it up, “of course I have it,” he sneered at me.

“Bullshit,” I scoffed, “I can see from here you don't have it,” I looked at Windfall, “have him show you his back!”

The doppelganger met the pegasus mare's gaze, ready with a response, “he just wants to see it clearly so he can mimic it,” he protested, “make that impostor show you his back first!”

“At the same time,” I quickly suggested, “check us both at the same time. You count, and we'll turn around,” I smiled victoriously at the impostor. His mouth was pressed together in a thin line as he likely tried to come up with some reasonable explanation why my suggestion wouldn't solve the riddle of which of us was the real Jackboot. It was clear, however, that the two mares had accepted the simple trial, and I certainly couldn't think of any plausible argument against it.

Windfall nodded her assent, “alright, on three. One. Two. Thr-”

Before the pegasus could finish her count, my double made a break for it. They did not make an attempt to harm either myself or the mares, but instead launched themselves towards the doorway. Jade fire illuminated the corridor as the disguise was shed and a black, winged, demon with a pony's shape darted for the exit. There was no way that I would be able to catch up to them, and even Foxglove's telekinetic field looked to have a limit on the velocity that it could maneuver her lance.

It was not able to outrun bullets however. Where she'd had it hidden, I couldn't have told you. Honestly, I didn't even know that the pegasus had taken to carrying a smaller sidearm at all. It was fortunate that she did though. A trio of forty-five caliber slugs raced down the hall after the fleeing ebony creature. Two caught it in the flank, the third gouged a hole in the ceiling—up and to the left of the target, I noticed. The hits were damaging enough to bring the monster down though. Their landing was less than graceful as the jet form tumbled along the floor and slammed into the frame of an open door. I couldn't tell if it was still alive or not, but it certainly didn't get immediately back up if it was.

The pegasus glared after her target, the pistol still clutched in her mouth. Foxglove's lance was brought to hover near the body in case it hadn't been outright killed by the flier. Only then did Windfall lift up her right wing and expose a small leather holster strapped high and tight near the joint. She tucked the weapon into its hidden carrier and deftly folded the wing down over it. With the limb down, her ivory pinions completely obscured any sign of the weapon or its holster. Even knowing it was there, I couldn't find any sign of its existence.

“When'd you get that?” I asked of the pegasus, nodding at her wing. I'd never even seen her pick up another firearm since she'd adopted her two submachine guns.

She glanced briefly at me, her gaze still rather cold with the same glare that she'd had for the fleeing shape shifter. She didn't hold my gaze for very long. In fact, she looked away rather suddenly. I could have sworn that I'd also seen her tense up when she looked in my direction, “just felt like it was good to be prepared,” she walked towards the creature before I could ask more.

Prepared for what?

She carries a secret gun that she never told you about, Whiplash tapped her hoof to her chin as she feigned pondering a tough riddle, that she didn't let you see her buy; or ever took out and cleaned while you were around. I wonder who she felt like she needed to be prepared for...

“You fuck it up, and I'll end you myself.”

That was the promise that Windfall had made to me.

She's ready for you to turn on her at a moment's notice, the idea sounded as though it filled my sister's specter with glee, I guess it's going to take you a while to earn back her trust, huh?

Whatever. I trotted over to join the other two mares.

“It's still alive,” Foxglove informed us, motioning to the creature. I looked down and saw that green froth was bubbling around the corners of its open mouth, and I could indeed hear a faint wheezing sound as it struggled for breath, “we should question it. Find out what they're really after.”

“Can we trust anything it says?” I didn't bother to hide the skepticism in my tone. These things seemed very adept at deception, “we should get out of here as quickly as possible.”

“Homily and her friends could be in danger right now too,” Windfall pointed out, “we can't just leave them behind.”

“Do you think we can really fight all of these things?” I asked, dubious, “there're dozens of them.”

“And they could look like anypony,” Foxglove admitted reluctantly, “how would we know if we found the real Homily?”

I only just barely managed to bite back the words that threatened to spill out of my mouth. Neither of them knew that my pipbuck reacted rather uniquely when it came to identifying these creatures. I would know at a glance which pony was the real deal and which one was an impostor. Of course, if I said anything, that would only compel the others to want to stay and make an attempt at fighting these things to save those other ponies. Ponies we had only just recently finished rescuing once already, I might add.

Our contract had been to rescue Homily and her crew from those bandits and then get them to McMaren, that was it. Nothing had been mentioned about fighting an army of shapeshifting doppelganger monsters once we'd gotten there. If our employer wanted to set up a follow-up contract, that was another matter; but I'd already risked my life saving those ponies once this week. There was a limit to my kindness.

I mentally glared in defiance at the yellow pegasus in my head.

Of course, she wasn't alone in here, was she? An additional tenant had taken up residence in recent weeks. While not telling the others about how my Stable-Tec device perceived these creatures wasn't an outright lie, per say; that other little orange cunt didn't seem particularly found about lies of omission either. Between Yellow Bitch's pleas for altruism, and the now formally christened Orange Cunt's insistence on telling the whole truth, I felt forced to finally capitulate.

“I'd know,” I sighed in exasperation.

Both mares looked at me in surprise, “what? How?” Foxglove asked, curious.

I held up the Old World device on my fetlock, “the Eyes Forward Sparkle,” I explained, “it does weird things when I see them. Like it doesn't know what to make of these things.”

The pegasus mare frowned at me, “and you never thought to mention this when we first got here because...?”

“I didn't know what it fucking meant,” I snapped at the violet mare, none too fond of the accusing tone in her voice, “it's not like I can look at somepony with this thing and immediately know their name and species!” that wasn't to say that it wouldn't be incredibly convenient to have it show me that information, “all that happens is the dot flickers between yellow and red really fast. I see that happen with regular ponies sometimes too; just never quite like this.”

Windfall didn't look to be very pleased with the notion that I'd had a method of seeing through their deceptions this whole time, but at least Foxglove seemed to be more understanding. Since she was the pony that knew a thing or two about how pipbucks work, I felt confident that she'd be willing to speak up in my defense if the flier continued to prove dubious with regards to my claims.

“So we have a way to see through their disguise,” the unicorn nodded, “there are still a lot of them though,” she shared a look with the pegasus, “if we just go in shooting, we might get overwhelmed.”

Despite the well justified argument in favor of exercising caution, it was clear from the expression on Windfall's face that she was still rather firmly in favor of taking overt action in order to solve our current dilemma. I wasn't in favor of an open confrontation either. While what I would have strongly preferred was to just make a run for the gate, I knew full well that the others would be against it. Trying to leave on my own was too risky; but fighting all these monsters, even a few at a time, would be a challenge.

On the other hoof, “they don't know that we know,” I pointed out. I took another look around, making a note of the visible dots being displayed on my EFS. None of them seemed to be making their way here to investigate the gunshots. Of course, we were the only ponies in the building, and everypony else had headed off to either check out the radio tower of or get some food; which were a fair distance from here, “we can either act like we don't know anything about them until we can get word to the others; or even pretend we're those creatures in disguise.”

“He's right,” Foxglove agreed, “as long as they all think we don't know anything, there's no reason for them to not act all friendly like they have been.”

“How does that help us get everypony away safely?” the pegasus demanded, “they're not just going to let us up and leave.”

“It'll let us get a look around,” I insisted, not keen on provoking a fight if I didn't have to, “we can find their weak points, get everypony organized quietly, and then make our move when the time is right.”

“That might be our best bet,” Foxglove looked at the younger pegasus mare.

Windfall was silent, obviously considering the options before us. Her gaze migrated between the building's exit, and the wheezing black monster nearby. After several seconds, she stepped over to the incapacitated creature and stared down at it. I watched as she lifted a hoof and set it upon the carapace covered neck. She grit her teeth, and then the hallway echoed with a sound akin to that of somepony crushing a full can of Cram.

The creature's form lay still.

“Everypony get dressed. We'll warn Homily first,” the pegasus mare went back to her room to retrieve her gear.

It was fascinating how much less inviting our surroundings felt now. When we'd first been invited into McMaren, there'd been this feeling of security and safety. As much as anypony could feel such things in the Wasteland of course. Colonel Bivouac and the other soldiers had immediately come across as being decent ponies doing their best to make the Equestrian hellscape a better place.

Now that feeling was gone. My hackles rose every time one of the McMaren ponies came into view as the three of us headed towards the radio tower. Their expressions were all quite amiable, and a few offered passing waves. The gestures were easy to return. The smiles less so; at least genuinely. It wasn't that I found it difficult to feign enjoying the company of a pony I actually despised. I'd done that for many years. The issue now was that it was hard for me to actually think of these ponies as...well, ponies. They were monsters, the very likenesses of demons and devils walking the Wasteland in the guise of equines.

I don't care what those three had said about desiring for us all to feel 'happy' and 'loved'. I didn't know what they really wanted from us, but Celestia fuck me if I intended to find out.

At least they were easy enough to kill. Bullets, knives, and even hooves seemed to hurt them about as much as they hurt real ponies. That was something at least. There were some points of concern that I made a note to consider though. They obviously possessed some magical ability, at least as far as changing their physical appearances and voices went. I'd need to be on the look out for additional spells as well. They also had the ability to fly while in their true form. I grimaced at the thought of having to face down a swarm of flying magical pony-like creatures. I really hoped that we managed to get through this without having to fight them all at once.

Now that I was being reminded of the numbers that these monsters had on their side, I was also straining my brain for some means by which to gather up Homily's crew and get away without much of a confrontation at all. We genuinely didn't have the ammunition to deal with all of these things. It was a military base though. Maybe if we could get to an armory or something...

“I thought the three of you were going to turn in for the day?”

How I managed not to jump in surprise, I'll never know. Judging how Windfall's downy chest had puffed in kind, it looked like I wasn't the only one who was running a little high strung. I whipped my head around and felt my chest tighten slightly. Bivouac and one of her subordinates had come up from behind us without any of us noticing. Their expressions suggested that neither of them was anything but indifferently curious, but I wasn't about to trust the expressions of ponies that could apparently look like anypony they wanted to. Even ponies that had been dead for two hundred years.

“We are,” I replied simply, internally relieved to hear myself managing to speak in a calm tone, “we just wanted to let Homily know where she could find us if she needed anything,” I nodded my head in the direction of the radio tower, forcing a smirk, “pony like her, doubt she'd even think to look for a place to sleep tonight, what with that radio to mess with.”

The base's commander returned a knowing smile of her own, “she's passionate, that one,” the green mare agreed, “loves her work. I can tell,” despite her complimentary tone, the words made my flesh crawl. Knowing what I knew now put them in anything but an innocent light. It was all I could do not to shudder. Colonel Bivouac nodded, “well, carry on then. Stop by the mess on your way back. We're serving something special in honor of your arrival.”

“What's that?” I heard Windfall ask is a tone that was almost accusatory.

The crimson-maned mare grinned, “it's a surprise.”

“Sounds great!” Foxglove interjected before the pegasus could offer up a less-than-complimentary retort, “we'll be there in a few minutes.”

“We look forward to having you,” the other pony with Bivouac said as the two departed.

We watched the two not-ponies head towards the mess hall. My stomach clenched as I recalled that a significant portion of Homily's party had headed in that direction when we'd first arrived. Images of the gaping black maws rimmed with sharp fangs flashed through my mind. They seemed to me to be ideally suited to rending pony flesh from bone.

How many of the ponies that had gone to the mess hall were even still alive? Was Homily?

“Let's go,” Windfall broke into a hurried trot, the two of us following close behind.

The radio tower actually looked to be in worse condition up close than it had been at a distance. Now that I could clearly see the extent of the patchwork repairs that had been slapped on over the decades. I could clearly see where portions of the tower had rotted and rusted away and been supplemented with the remains of what had once been barracks buildings, judging by the color of the paint that was still flaking off the old wooden slats. Parts of the transmitter even looked to have been replaced with...cleaning rods?

“How many are in there?” I heard Windfall hiss from beside me, her eyes intent on the closed door that served as the only entrance to the tower's broadcast room.

I swept my gaze across the whole of the building, focused intently on the pipbuck's Eyes Forward Sparkle, “seven blips,” I informed them, “three ponies...and four whatever those things are,” I probably did need to come up with something to call them other than 'monster'. Doppelgangers? Doppels? Eh. Worked for me.

The pegasus nodded and crept to the door, placing her ear to it. Foxglove followed suit. Myself, I perched near the doorjamb in anticipation of a rather sudden entry. I opted for my knife, in the interest of reducing the chance of any errant gunfire being heard by the base's other residents. My head remained turned towards the interior of the building, giving the others as much detail about what was inside as the mere blips hovering before my eyes would allow.

“Looks like they're paired off,” I went on, “one solid and one flickering blip...except for the two flickers at the far end of the room. They're spread out pretty evenly,” my ear twitched, and my eyes narrowed, “they're not moving...and the blips are almost on top of each other. Almost like...” my ear twitched again. Was I hearing...?

I looked at the other two mares, about to ask them what they thought the sounds were, but I could immediately tell from their expressions that they had interpreted those sounds as being the same thing that I had. Foxglove's face was rather stoic, while the flier's cheeks had taken on an every-so-slight rose hue. For myself...I was no longer sure what our next course of action was supposed to be.

The easy answer was to burst in and use the element of surprise that we had. Of course, with Homily and her two companions in such close proximity, there was a rather large risk of friendly casualties. We'd also seen that these doppels did not respond well to being found out.

They still didn't know that we were on to them, I rationalized. Everything we'd seen up to this point suggested that they did everything they could to maintain the ruse until the last possible moment. So...

I reached out and knocked on the door with my hoof, drawing surprised looks from the other two mares, “hey, Homily, you in there?”

Windfall glared at me and hissed under her breath, “what are you doing?!”

“Oh! Um...yeah,” came a voice from the other side of the door. Then there was a slight pause and the muffled sounds of some furniture being moved, “the door's unlocked.”

I held the pegasus mare's gaze until she relaxed enough to at least not make Homily and the others think that anything was wrong, “we're all happy and calm,” I quietly reminded her through a faux smile. Then I opened the door and strode inside, “sorry if we're interrupting your work.”

My nostrils immediately filled with several odors that kindled some rather pointed feelings. I'd spent enough time in enough whore houses to know what a room smelled like when ponies had been getting...frisky, with one another; and that described the scent to a tee. The disheveled clothing of a couple of the ponies that were suddenly far too intent on their work only further supported the mounting evidence.

Heh. Mounting.

Yes, Whiplash, thanks for that.

Homily and the pony that had been identified earlier as one Sergeant Cypher, were huddled together beneath one of the consoles. There was a dangling tangle of wires that suggested that at one point the two of them had embarked on a mission to rewire the device. The fact that the yellow earth pony mare was presently a lot more concerned with straightening her inexplicably tangled mane implied that something had distracted her rather recently.

She peered up at me, doing a rather poor job of looking like the three of us hadn't interrupted anything, “so, what's up?”

I kept the pleasant smile I'd been cultivating plastered on my face, forcing myself to look as though I was completely oblivious to every pony in the room having rather blatantly paired off with at least one doppel. The events in my room were still very fresh in my mind, so I could certainly appreciate what had been going on here. Homily and her crew had been through a lot these last few weeks, and the ponies of McMaren were more than they could have hoped for. Stalwart defenders of a dead nation faithfully looking after the very machinery they'd come to find and use. What's more, they were attractive and flirty! Why wouldn't they get in a quick bump while everypony was in the mood?

Some more than others, it looked like. I noted that while Homily seemed to be faintly abashed at the prospect of having had somepony not invited to the party nearly walk in on her; the sergeant she'd been sharing that moment with looked subtly more...aggrieved. It was a faint thing, that look of irritation in his eye. I could empathize with a stallion that had been cock-blocked on a sealed deal, but there was more than that there. I could see it in his eyes, whatever his bored lips might imply. I hadn't just stopped a pony from getting some. That was the hunger of a predator that had nearly trapped its prey.

Beneath the pony visage, I could see those glistening black teeth coated in green bile, ready to strike. The moment we left, Homily and the others were doomed.

“We found our bunks, and just wanted to get an idea of how long it'd take you to get this thing up and running,” I gestured at the console mounted into the wall, “the sooner you get word back to our employer that you've arrived safe and sound, the sooner we can leave and get paid.”

“Right...right!” the mare straightened herself and became very interested in the nobs and switches on the panel, “I'm, um, still assessing the situation; but it looks good so far. A couple of days, at the outside?” she looked over at her MacMaren counterpart, as though for confirmation.

The other pony looked back at us, a more genuine smile on his face this time, “well, that's to get the electronics in working order; there's still a lot to do on the tower itself if we want to get a decent range out of the system. That could take a week, or even two,” he paused for a moment of reflection, and then added, “then we'd need to address the power situation.”

“Power situation?” Foxglove pressed, not sounding as suspicious as she could have.

“Oh yeah,” the doppel went on, the smile shifting into a grin, “a tower like this takes a lot of watts to create a clear signal. We'll need to up the base's reactor output quite a bit to accommodate that.

“Another two weeks there alone.”

“Oh, wow,” Homily's comment didn't sound nearly as shocked as she had probably intended. She certainly didn't seem to be disappointed by the news when she looked back at the three of us, “we'll be here nearly a month.”

“Minimum,” the doppel amended.

“Minimum,” the yellow mare echoed, still not sounding like she hated the idea. She was also very pointedly trying not to keep glancing at the nearby stallion out of the corner of her eye. She wasn't doing a very good job, “and that's if nothing else comes up,” her eyes widened suddenly, “goes long—goes wrong!” she cleared her throat and shifted in her hooves.

I mentally rolled my eyes. It hadn't even been that much of an innuendo. My mind drifted to the four equine mimics in the room with us, and how each of them was regarding us with a mote of impatience. They wanted us to leave so that they could get back to doing what they had been before we'd interrupted. What was more, Homily's two pony companions were looking equally eager for us to depart. Fucking morons. If something seemed too good to be true, then it was obviously a fucking trap!

Somewhere in my head, Whiplash feel over laughing as she gleefully directed my thoughts to what I had been doing not fifteen minutes ago. Or, more specifically, who I had thought I had been doing. Because wetting your dick is exactly what Foxglove has been alluding to ever since you met her.

I couldn't argue that point, but I'd never claimed not to be a hypocrite.

The question now, was how to extract Homily and her crew without riling up the doppels too much. If I concocted some story about an issue some other members of her crew were encountering...but if one of the doppels insisted on coming with us, our deception would raise too many questions. Besides, what we really needed was for some way to not only explain, but to prove, to Homily what these things really were. Getting her to follow us back to the barracks wasn't likely to work, since she'd expressed no desire to anypony to find a bed yet.

My gaze darted to the violet unicorn beside me in a silent gesture for help. The mare picked up on it, and seemed to have a more agile mind than I did, “where's your generator at?” she posed to the nearby doppel.

“Hm?” the question caught the disguised pony off guard, “why?”

My eyes brightened and I threw a hoof around the unicorn's neck as I flashed a broad grin of my own. She was a smart pony, this one, “because our little Foxglove here's a prodigal mechanic! If anypony can fix your power situation in record time, it's her,” it gladdened my spirits to see the corner of the doppel's mouth twitch into a faint grimace. I looked at Homily, “you should come too.”

“I should?” she blinked, surprised at my proposition.

“You'd know best how much power Foxy here'd need to get out of those old generators,” beneath my hoof draped over the unicorn's neck, I could feel her tense at my use of a nickname. I was likely going to pay for this later somehow. Probably while she 'talked' with me about what she'd seen me doing in my room earlier. And, frankly, she could make all the ruckus she wanted to about today. Later.

For now, she just had to play along, “I'd just need the two of you to give me an idea of where to start,” the unicorn even managed a warm smile, “it'll just take a minute or two.”

The doppel glanced at Homily and then at the three of us, “well, then I guess we'd better get along then so we can get back to work here,” to the others in the control room, he said, “we'll be back in a bit.”

I could tell that Windfall wasn't happy about the prospect of leaving Homily's two companion's behind. They'd been kept alive thus far; so we could hope that they'd be alright for a few minutes longer. All that we needed to do was get the yellow earth pony to see the danger that we were all in, and then get her input on how best to go about rallying her ponies. I shared a stern look with the pegasus to make sure she kept her composure, and then stepped aside to allow Homily and the McMaren pony through.

Once the five of us were outside, Sergeant Cypher took the lead, directing our little group towards one of the military base's many bunkers. A number of thick cables running from the structure suggested that this was indeed the hub for the facility's power. A short flight of stairs later, and we found ourselves in a rather expansive basement level with three rows of very large spark-generators. Several dim lights provided illumination in the dingy interior of the generator room; exposing the wear, corrosion, and the rust that coated nearly everything.

At one point in the distant past, I was fairly confident that this had once been a rather noisy chamber. No fewer than a dozen and a half spark-generators existed down here. At the moment though, only two of them seemed to be in operation, and even then only just barely.

For a moment, it seemed like Foxglove let our present peril slip her mind as she found herself drawn to the ancient reactors. Her head ducked in and around several of the nearer units, making mental notations about what was and wasn't salvageable. The unicorn's expression suggested that she wasn't holding up a very optimistic prediction for how much good even she could do down here. Then I guess it finally dawned on her that we weren't actually planning to stick around long enough to need to worry about such things.

“Do any of these others actually start?” Foxglove directed the question at our doppel chaperoned as she bent in to examine one of the nearer generators.

The sergeant shrugged, “we haven't tried to start most of these in a while.”

“That's probably a good thing,” the violet mare noted as what seemed like a rather gentle touch of one of her hooves snapped off a knob on the control panel for the generator she was looking at, “these things would probably just explode anyway,” her expression creased with a frown as she continued her appraisal. What I noticed were her faint glance at myself, “I might be able to cannibalize most of these to get one or two more online. Homily, how much power would we need to reach New Reino?”

The yellow earth pony thought for a long moment, her hoof tracing out numbers in the air as she performed a few rough calculations, “sixty kilosparks?”

“Hmm,” Foxglove looked at one of the readings on an operational generator, “and these are putting out thirty each. So, we'd need to more.”

“Can you do it?” Sergeant Cypher asked, the prospect of having a signal that was capable of reaching out all the way to one of the larger pony settlements in the area seemed to be genuinely appealing to him.

“Maybe,” Foxglove replied with a thoughtful expression, “come here a minute and show me where the central breaker is,” she nodded for the doppel to follow her between two rows of the generators. Another quick glance at me, and I readied to act, “I'll need to see how these are all wired together...”

I waited until the doppel was both in front of me, and trapped between the hulking machinery to either side of him. I drew the knife from my sheath, ignoring the bitter taste of the ichor that had dribbled down the grip from the last of these monsters that I killed. With the faintest of grunts, I threw myself onto the sergeant's back and wrapped my right hoof around his neck so that I could plunge my knife into the left side of his head and end this fight quickly.

Whether it had been Homily's surprised yelp at seeing my unexpected attack, or if the shape-shifting monster was merely that good; my initial assault was a complete failure. Before I managed to get a tight grip around his neck, the doppel's own right hoof managed to snake upwards and thwart my attempt to achieve a true stranglehold. Meanwhile, he reared up and threw his left elbow into my face, deflecting what could have been a killing strike into a glancing scratch along his shoulder. Then he clamped down on my pipbuck and bucked me up and over his shoulder.

I collided rather unceremoniously into Foxglove, only barely noting that my pipbuck was making a rather irritating racket now. A message flashed across my vision that suggested the reason was because the dial had been twisted to a frequency that just blasted white noise all the time.

“What are you doing?!” Homily was screaming at me, rather aghast that I had launched an unprovoked attack at our host.

Ignoring her surprise, I gathered myself back up onto my hooves and charged the doppel once more. The not-pony sneered at my effort and I saw a flash of sickly green light in his eyes. The next thing I knew, I was sailing over his head, and careening into one of the running generators. The collision itself wasn't really all that bad. I'd certainly taken worse hits in my lifetime.

Rarely though, had those hits been up against the side of high-voltage equipment though. Whatever my pipbuck ended up hitting, only Foxglove knew the word for. However, the result when the steel casing of my fetlock-mounted device connected with it was very...evident.

For my part, and that or every other pony in the room, the reaction was more annoying than harmful. A good sized portion of the charge had apparently reacted with the radio in my pipbuck and cause the noise that had been coming from it to reach rather irksome volumes. It wasn't exactly pleasant to my ears, but hardly crippling.

For Sergeant Cypher, on the other hoof...

It was as though he had suddenly lost on control of his abilities and his composure. The not-pony flared green, and then the guise was gone; leaving only the monster beneath for all four of us to see. Homily's reaction was instantaneous. Her cries went from protests and demands for us to cease, swiftly to gasps of shock and surprise.

For his part, Cypher doubtfully even noticed, as his now pocked hooves were clutched at either side of his head and he was screaming incoherently. It was like somepony was physically tormenting him.

Windfall capitalized on the suffering and ended the yelling with a single gunshot to the back of his head.

A moment later, every light in the room went dark, and the generators shut down. The grating noise that my pipbuck had been making died away until it was just a buzz of soft static in the darkness. I groped around on my arm until I found the device and turned off the radio. Then my hoof went over to one of the other controls, and a soft white light flooded the room.

It was joined almost simultaneously by a green glow from the center of Foxglove's forehead. The unicorn mare darted to the generators nearby and immediately launched into an assessment of the damage. In the back of my mind, I recognized the danger that we were in now. If the unicorn couldn't get them back in operation soon, the base's residents would doubtless be here soon to find out what the issue was. If they found us gathered around one of their dead comrades...

There wasn't anything I could do to help with that situation though. That was something best left in the hooves of an expert like Foxglove. My attention was directed at Homily, and the mare's reaction to what she had just seen. We needed her to understand what was going on, and devise a plan to get her and the others—and ourselves—away from here safely.

“Wha...what is that thing?”

“We don't know,” I admitted, directing the light over the glistening black carapace so that the earth pony mare could get a good look at our adversary, “but they can look like anypony. We need to get everypony out of here.”

Windfall poked the corpse with her hoof to reassure herself of the monster's lack of life before she holstered the pistol once more. The she turned to the two of us, her features set in a determined scowl, “running isn't going to be an option,” she insisted, “these things need to be destroyed for good.”

I grimaced, “we're outnumbered here, Windy,” I pointed out, not liking the way that the pegasus was thinking, “and they know this place a lot better than us. We need to save as many as we can and get out before they catch on.”

The alabaster flier wasn't to be swayed though, “do you really think they won't chase us? Nopony's known about them for, what? Decades? Why do you think that is?”

I wanted to think that was because nopony up to this point had managed to figure out that they weren't really ponies until it was too late. Of course, I recognized that it was highly unlikely that nopony else in all that time had managed to figure out what I did. It wasn't like I was any sort of genius.

That didn't change the fact that, “we can't take them all on and hope to survive. There's got to be a hundred of them, or more.”

“Maybe we can.”

Both myself and the pegasus looked at Foxglove with equal amounts of surprise. The unicorn depressed a button on the generator that she had been tinkering with and it roared to life. A moment later, the lights in the room flickered to life. In the lit room, I could see that the violet mare was looking rather thoughtfully at my pipbuck. In my mind, I was trying to understand why this unicorn had suddenly gotten it into her head that charging into a fight with an overwhelming force was suddenly a good idea. Windfall seemed to be equally surprised that Foxglove had sided with her.

“Let me look at your pipbuck for a minute,” the unicorn gestured towards the device. Curious, I extended my left hoof towards the unicorn and watcher her as she tapped a series of buttons. Then she waved over at Homily, and drew the earth pony's attention to the screen, “can you set the tower to broadcast at this frequency?”

The yellow mare stared at the pipbuck for a few seconds, and then nodded, “yeah, that's no problem.”

“Okay, next question,” Foxglove continued, “how much power will we need for it to be audible?”

“What?” the question seemed to genuinely perplex the earth pony, “you mean like through a speaker?”

“Sort of,” the unicorn shrugged, “but I mean even if the speaker is turned off. How much power would the signal need to create sound so long as the speaker was grounded?”

The question sounded preposterous to me. How could a radio transmission just create noise from something at was turned off? Surely Foxglove was asking an impossibly desperate question to make some sort of point, right? That notion of mine was mildly thwarted by the genuinely thoughtful expression on Homily's face as she seemed to actually consider the suggestion.

“A hundred and twenty kilosparks,” she finally replied, “assuming you're talking about reaching every speaker within a quarter mile.”

“That many?” Foxglove sounded as though she had been hoping for a much smaller number from the earth pony.

“Most speaker systems have a lot of resistance built into them,” Homily explained, “since their crystal components are naturally receptive to radio waves. We'd have to overcome a lot of design safeties to do it. That frequency is way outside the normal range.”

Foxglove looked once more to the generators for a long moment before shaking her head in resignation, “that's too much. It'd take me days to get more of these online, and these two are barely working at half capacity as it is. What can thirty get us?”

“Not much,” Homily shrugged. Then the yellow mare thought a little longer about it, “if I set the equipment to feed back in on itself, I might be able to get a good burst every minute or so.”

That seemed to encourage the violet unicorn a little and she looked back at me, “do you think we can take them if they're brought to their knees every minute?”

“If we get as many of her crew to help as we can when it happens the first time,” I admitted with a jerk of my head towards Homily. If memory served, most of the ponies with her had gathered in the base's mess hall; which meant that if we could get word to them about what the plan was, we could launch our attack from a single coordinated point. If the rest of those creatures reacted the way Cypher had, then we really would have a good chance at getting the upper hoof early on in the fight.

“Then we have a plan,” Windfall summed up for the rest of us. She regarded the unicorn, “you and Homily get back to the radio tower and set things up. Jackboot and I will organize the others.”

“What about the four...whatevers in the radio room already?” Homily ventured.

“Just act casual,” I urged her, “they don't know that you know. Set things up like its part of fixing the tower, and Foxglove can handle them when the first burst hits.”

“We'll be fine,” the unicorn assured the yellow earth pony.

Maybe they even would at that, so long as they could remain calm and not let any of those doppels catch on. Honestly, Windfall and I had the harder job of quietly getting the others ready for the moment to strike without alerting any of the doppels to what we were doing. We also had to do it without weapons. Well, I guess that wasn't entirely true. Windfall still had her little pistol, and I had my knife. Foxglove also had her lance. Maybe there was time to sneak back to the barracks and get the rest of our gear?

No. We wouldn't have anywhere to hide it while we worked on organizing the others. The less we did to tip off the doppels, the better off we'd be in the long run.

“Then let's go,” the pegasus nodded at the corpse laying on the floor in a pool of green blood and blue brains, “before anypony notices this.”

Homily and Foxglove dashed back towards the radio tower and its control room. Windfall hovered nearby while I trotted towards the distant mess hall. The sky was growing dark rather swiftly beneath the overcast skies. Great. Fighting these things in the dark wasn't going to be a particularly enjoyable experience. At least my pipbuck would let me get a general idea of where they were.

Speaking of which, a pair of flickering blips lay directly ahead of us even now. I noticed the pair of ponies heading our way, making a direct line for the generator room that we had just come from. The sound of hooves softly touching down to the ground next to me suggested that Windfall had landed. I glance at her out of the corner of my eye and saw her rather busily tucking her wings snugly to her side to cover up her pistol and its holster. The downy fur on the back of her neck was standing up. Relax, I thought at both her and myself, nothing's gone wrong yet.

“Hey fellas, what's up?” I began by way of greeting.

“Power flickered out for a bit,” one of the McMaren 'ponies' said, as she and her companion stopped in front of us, “know anything about it?”

“Oh, right,” I clapped a hoof to my forehead and snorted, “Homily and Foxglove had to rewire the breaker panel to help boost the range on the tower. Cypher said we should let y'all know, but Foxy was all, 'it'll only be a second, nopony'll know!',” I cast an aside at Windfall, “I guess she owes me ten caps. Somepony noticed.”

I looked back at the pair of doppels, noting that their expressions weren't particularly dubious and decided that they were buying everything up to this point at least, “everything's good now,” I assured them, “but Foxy'll still need to take them off line later when she's ready to brink more of the generators online. Can you ask Bivouac when a good time will be to do that? Don't want to get y'all in a tizzy again.”

“Yeah...sure,” the mare said, then glanced briefly at her stallion companion and then at one of the nearby lights, “I guess we're good now. Just let us know next time.”

“Will do!” I forced a grin and swept my right hoof out in a salute, “come on, Windy. I'm hungry,” I nodded at the pegasus and headed for the mess hall. The younger white mare fell into step behind me at a trot, casting parting wary glances at the other two ponies.

As long as they didn't go into the generator room, we were in the clear. I wasn't keen on being too overt about watching where those two went either, lest I make them more suspicious than they might already be.

Just have faith, Jackboot. There was a slim chance that this could all work and you'll make it out of here alive.

There's a slim chance that Windfall will ask you for a quick fuck on your way to the others, Whiplash snickered in the back of my head, wanna place bets?

I shook my head fiercely and directed my gaze towards our destination. I tried not to let the dozens of flickering blips that were quickly saturating my Eyes Forward Sparkle distract me. It was difficult. There were so many of them that they blotted out the relatively few solid yellow bars that identified Homily's crew. At least there were still yellow bars at all; which meant that they were alive.

For the moment...

At the door, I looked hard at the flier by my side, “stay calm, stay collected. We just need to mingle and spread the word...quietly. Make sure the others know to keep cool too,” Windfall nodded and I watched her take a deep breath. She was still grinding her teeth a little, but it looked like it was the best that I was going to get out of her. Frankly, knowing the pegasus, I counted myself lucky that she didn't have her pistol drawn and cocked right now.

I pushed the door open and peered into the massive dinning hall beyond. The two of us were immediately pelted by the sound of raucous laughter and the off-tune singing of several groups of ponies chanting the lyrics to various popular songs. It was a veritable party. To my genuine astonishment, I even saw actual food gracing the tables. Some of it even looked a lot better than the typical Wasteland fair. There were the plates of Cram and bowls of Sugar Apple Bombs, of course; but mingled in with them were platters of some sort of root vegetable and pitchers of what looked like milk but smelled of alcohol.

It was a few seconds before I recognized that I was staring and that my jaw had gone slack. I guessed that I hadn't really known what I was expecting to find when I opened the door; but it certainly hadn't been this. If I didn't know for a fact that three out of four ponies in this room were actually monsters in reality, I could easily have forgotten that all of us were in danger.

Windfall prodded me into the room and I regained my composure. The truth was that this was all an act, I reminded myself. A good act, to be sure; but that didn't change things. I nodded at the filly and started making my way around the left side of the room while the flier went right. My eyes took in as much as I could as I slowly made my way past the tables. That was when I started to notice all of the little details that screamed 'wrong'. They were subtle, and could have easily been missed by anypony that wasn't trying to find them.

The first thing that I noticed was that only Homily's crew were actually eating any of the food. The McMaren ponies gathered up a plate on occasion, but I never saw them actually eat any of it; they were always grabbing something to give it to somepony else. They weren't even drinking anything either.

Did they only consume pony flesh or something?

I also noticed that there was also at least one doppel clinging to every one of Homily's crew. That was going to be a problem when it came to trying to get word to everypony; but it also raised a rather pointed red flag in my head. Homily and her ponies had been together for at least a few weeks, but I couldn't find any two of them talking with one another. They were all separated and carousing happily with at least several doppels. No two actual ponies were anywhere near one another.

Fuck.

My eyes caught Windfall's on the other side of the room. She had noticed the lack of unattended ponies as well, and was silently asking for an alternate plan. I hadn't expected the doppels to have so thoroughly occupied the other ponies like this. Somehow I kept the contented expression on my face as I snagged a seat at a table and gathered together a small plate of food. A steady stare at Windfall coaxed her into doing the same on the other side of the room. This was a dinning hall after all. Ponies came here to dine, not walk laps around the perimeter.

The plan was now to wait for Homily and Foxglove to get that signal broadcast and let things sort themselves out once the truth was revealed. It was going to be a shock to the ponies here, and I imagined that things were going to be messy to boot; but it was all we had left. Maybe most of them would be quick on their hooves and know how to react when the pony they were kissing on suddenly morphed into a carapace-clad monster.

Somepony sat next to me. I glanced in their direction and noticed a blue earth pony mare with golden eyes and a rather sultry expression as she nestled in close. A sudden application of warmth from the other side announced the arrival of a second pony. This one was a light green unicorn with orange eyes. Hovering in front of me was a pitcher of the milky alcohol that was currently pouring itself into a generously sized glass.

“Care for a drink?” the blue mare asked, “you look like you could use it.”

“You're so tense,” her companion added as she floated the glass that was surrounded in a green aura to my lips, “take a sip and relax. You've had a rough trip.”

“We can tell you all have,” blue continued, not missing a beat. It was like the two of them were having the same conversation with me, but were just trading off every few words, “but you're safe here.”

“So why not have a little fun while you can?”

I cleared my throat, noticing that Windfall had been accosted by a trio of stallions herself that were also bearing food and drink. I mentally begged for her not to shoot any of them before the broadcast went out. Meanwhile, I had doppels of my own to deal with. So I put on my best smile and took a sip of the drink. It wasn't poisoned, I reasoned, or everypony else here would have already been long dead.

It was strong. Damn, was it strong, “what is this stuff?” I gasped after I somehow managed to swallow the searing liquid.

The two mares giggled, “we call it Nettle Water.”

“It's brewed from a cactus that grows around the base.”

“It warms us up during those colder nights.”

“Tonight's pretty cold, come to think of it.”

“Want to help keep us warm?”

A delicate hoof wandered over my leg and started rubbing the inside of my thigh. Oh, Celestia, why did they have to be monsters? Out loud, I said, “not sure if Foxy'd like that,” they didn't know we weren't an item, did they?

“The more the merrier,” the green mare pointed out.

“We could just watch at first if you'd prefer,” blue suggested, leaning her head in front of me.

The unicorn mare leaned in too, until their heads were nearly touching, “or you could watch us,” then she gave her companion a peck on the cheek. The cheek peck was met with a lip tap. Then it turned into a rather intimate kiss that devolved from there.

Of course, all I could see through a mind's eye that knew better were two of those black things rubbing their jagged fangs together. Which was a shame, since this should have been really erotic in all the best ways.

Celestia? I hate you.

Then my attention was stolen by two other ponies arriving on the scene. I felt myself grow instantly tense in my shoulders, and rather relaxed in my nethers simultaneously as I recognized Foxglove and Windfall standing nearby. The pegasus was looking rather sternly at the pair of mares still making out right in what was essentially my lap. The purple unicorn was looking a good deal more concerned; which made me concerned.

Wasn't she supposed to be setting up the signal?

“There's a problem,” Windfall said, gravely, and nodded at the exit.

Shit! I gingerly extracted myself from the mares and looked to Foxglove, “what's wrong?”

“Not here,” she whispered, nodding at the other ponies around us.

I nodded and followed the two mares through the dinning hall. This was bad. I didn't know exactly what the problem was, but it couldn't possibly be good. Whatever the hold up was with the signal, the longer we waited, the greater the chance that we would be discovered. We were already pretty much surrounded by flashing red blips as it was. If we were caught, there'd be nowhere to hide.

Whiplash cleared her throat in the head.

What was she on about now? I didn't need her bullshit at a time like this. My EFS was going nuts, and I had to stay alert for any sign that we'd...been...

We were already outside the mess hall. All of the flickering blips should have been behind us.

And Foxglove's should have been a solid yellow.

I hadn't noticed inside; what with so many blips everywhere, and most of them flickering anyway. It hadn't occurred to me that the unicorn's should have been a solid yellow line like Windfall's was. Out here though, not only should her's have been solid, but all the other blips my pipboy was detecting should have been behind me.

They weren't.

Fuck!

“Trap!”

My cry was chorused with Windfall's. How she had managed to pick up on it without the benefit of a pipbuck, I would have to ask her about later. That presumed that we both lived long enough to do so of course.

'Foxglove' wheeled about and charged me, a dangerous glint in her eyes. Her horn flared a sickly green color; which I easily recognized in the darkness as being very different from how the real Foxglove's magic looked when she wielded it. There was a brilliant sweeping flame that engulfed the unicorn, and then I found myself facing off against a black monster that I had come to know as a doppel.

My head dipped for only a brief moment to my fetlock, coming up a second later to meet the charging creature with my knife gripped tight in my teeth. The monster's maw opened in a piercing screech that I could feel deep in my joints, but I refused to flinch away this time. If my pipbuck was right, then this one was but a single adversary of dozens that had Windfall and I surrounded. Hesitation was just going to get the both of us killed.

A jet hoof struck out at me in an attempt to land a blow to my head. I pulled back slightly, and weaved to the side. My right hoof curled up and around the outstretched limb and trapped it. Then my left slipped over the creature's shoulder and brought then in close. I could see a brief glimmer of fear in the doppel's pale blue eyes, focused upon the tip of the blade clutched in my mouth. That sharp edge soon vanished from view as I plunged it into the nearby exposed neck. The monster gurgled and thrashed for a brief moment. A jerk of my neck twisted the blade, and then the creature went limp and fell off my weapon.

I dropped the corpse and planted myself in anticipation of another attack. Above me, I heard a pair of gunshots and the tussling of bodies as Windfall grappled with an opponent of her own. Faint light from the windows of the nearby mess hall provided a dim corona of illumination around the edges of nearly a half dozen pony-shaped figures standing a few paces away from me.

One of them I was able to recognize as Bivouac.

The base's commander cast her gaze at the dead creature at my hooves, and I saw the corner of her mouth dip in a brief frown before she returned her gaze to me. For a brief moment, I entertained the notion of pressing an attack, as I had my doubts about winning out if all of these doppel's charged me at once. On the other hoof, only a couple of these other ponies seemed to currently be poised for any sort of offensive actions. Bivouac and those nearest her actually looked to be rather calm, all things considered.

“You're being very difficult, right now,” the older mare said.

There was the pained cry of a mare from above me, drawing my gaze instinctively upwards. Unfortunately, I couldn't make out much against the dark clouds; just faint shadows of movement as at least three ponies fought it out in the sky above me. Then a sudden noise to my left caught my attention, and I glimpsed a small pistol laying in the dirt nearby. I swallowed as I recognized that it was Windfall's pistol. Another look skyward, still wary of the ponies on the ground with me. The pegasus was obviously in trouble, but there wasn't anything that I could do about it from down here. Not when I couldn't even tell which blur was her. The blips were so close together that they blended into one on my EFS.

So I looked back at Bivouac. She seemed willing to talk. An effort to negotiate for our voluntary surrender no doubt. It was an offer that I had no intention of ever accepting, but if I could buy time, then...I didn't know. Something...

“You're not giving me a lot of reasons to cooperate,” I growled back at the mare around the hilt still clutched firmly in my jaw.

“Haven't we?” she scoffed with a snort, “we have offered food, and beds, and companionship; and what have we asked for in return?”

“You're monsters,” I sneered, “you're not even real ponies. Why deceive us like that if you've got nothing to hide?”

A smile touched her lips now, “because revealing our true selves doesn't get us what we need.”

“So you admit that you do want something?”

“Of course not,” Bivouac replied easily, “I said that we need something,” her smile expanded into a half-grin, “and if you give it to us; then you and your little mare friends get to live.”

“You expect me to trust your word, when I can't even trust your face?”

The mare thought over my words for a moment, and then shrugged her shoulders, “that's fair,” she took a deep breath, and emerald flames swept over her, starting from the base of her hooves, and crawling upwards. As the fire progressed, the average-sized green earth pony mare grew into a form that was easily twice the height of any pony that I had even seen. Her form was slim and graceful; and though she was clearly a doppel, there were several notable difference between her and the others that I had seen up to this point.

Most of her body was formed of the same black carapace that the other were, save for her dull verdant torso. Her wings were long and sweeping, and tendrils of wispy mane were draped over the side of her head. A long, crooked, horn adorned the crown of her forehead.

Even though I was prepared for the mare to transform into something other than what she appeared to be; I hadn't quite been prepared for that! At the side of the larger doppel, her other minions followed suit and reverted to their true selves as well. I took an unconscious step back, and felt the knife nearly fall from my slack jaw.

Fuck me.

“Satisfied?” even Bivouac's voice was different now. The words of this doppel sounded scratchy and deep, when compared to those of the mature green mare that I had met at the gate of Camp McMaren earlier that day.

“What are you?” I heard myself asking with a tremble in my voice that I hadn't expected.

“Desperate refugees, doing what we can to survive in the hellscape that your ancestors left for us,” Bivouac replied tersely, all guise of her previous gentleness gone now, “it has not been easy.”

I cleared my throat and took a more firm stance with my hooves. They still weren't moving to strike, so I had some time left to try and come up with a plan to get out of this. My eyes darted to the gun that still lay on the ground. The slide wasn't cocked back, so it still had rounds left unfired. Perhaps if I put one of two into Bivouac's head, the others would think twice. She was their leader, after all. My gaze went to the lithe black creature in front of me, “preaching to the choir, lady. Wasteland's rough on everypony,” then I jutted my chin in the direction of the mess hall, “I saw that spread in there; you look to be doing better than most.”

The lanky doppel scoffed at my assessment, “that food may as well be dirt to us,” she sneered, “it's not what keeps my children alive,” her eyes shifted to me, a hungry glint in their slit-pupil gaze, “it's your kind,” I felt myself swallow and take a step back in response, “the emotional bond that you have with one another,” she went on, and I felt my steps hesitate for a brief moment as my mind worked to make sense of that last statement.

“Even now,” Bivouac inhaled deeply, as though she were scenting out a delicious aroma, “I sense how much you care for that pegasus of yours,” she sighed and fixed her cold eyes upon me, “so if you drop your weapon, I will ensure that she does not come to any harm.”

“What's to stop you from killing us all anyway?”

“Because we don't want you dead,” she insisted, sounding a little impatient now, “dead ponies can't be happy.”

I brushed a hoof at the nearby corpse that had pretended to be Foxglove, “you'd let me live after I killed your friends?”

Bivouac clicked her tongue dismissively, “please; I have hundreds of children, and each of them is willing to lay down their lives for the good of the hive. I would not deprive the rest of them of what they so desperately need just to punish you for exhibiting exactly the traits we need you to have.

“So put down that knife, come along inside, have a few drinks, and enjoy yourself.”

“You expect me to believe there isn't a catch?”

“The catch is that we won't kill you and your friends,” the tall doppel snapped.

“And what about everypony else that's ever come through here?” I asked, “you don't expect me to believe we're the first.”

The taller doppel narrowed her eyes, her lip twitching in a near snarl, “they were happy...while they lasted. They lived for months, some of them.”

“Months?”

“It's an eternity compared to the two seconds you'll survive if you refuse,” she nodded her head at her nearby minions.

“I suggest you take the offer while it still exists.

“The compassion of a queen is nothing to be taken lightly, and neither is it eternal,” her eyes glared down at me now, “so decide quickly,” she seethed, her ear twitching slightly.

My eyes scanned the other doppels, noticing now that they were slowly circling to close in around me. Their stance was tense, ready to pounce at a moment's notice, and their eyes were glued to me. I carefully edged around in a circle, doing my best to move closer to the gun on the ground while not allowing any one of them into my blind spots for very long. My ear twitched at the sound of their hoofsteps on the ground as they crept around me in the darkness.

The air filled with the sound of hissing and crackling from the doppels as they surrounded me. No...wait, that wasn't quite right. That wasn't coming from the doppels...

I glanced at my pipbuck, noting that the radio was still on.

The plan!

My eyes went briefly towards the sky, and widened slightly when I noticed that the Eyes Forward Sparkle indicated that there were neither doppels nor pegasi above me. They hadn't come down to the ground at any point that I'd known of. So...

I turned my attention to the larger doppel, who had not moved closer to me. Her ear was quivering, and the corner of her mouth was scrunched up in an irritated grimace, as though she had recently tasted something unpleasant. My own lip curled into a smirk, “actually, I think you're right,” I said, and allowed the knife to drop from my mouth, “life out there hasn't been easy. Hell, I could be dead in a week even I do make it out of here.

“A few months of paradise might be worth it,” I leveled my gaze at the lanky doppel leader, “can you arrange it so that I always have somepony that looks like the pegasus and the unicorn down for a fuck at a moment's notice?”

The sneer on Bivouac's face dissolved into a satisfied grin, that was only slightly marred by whatever sensation was clawing at her ear, “of course,” she assured me, “whatever makes you happy,” she nodded her head, and I suddenly saw a young white pegasus mare with a teal streaked mane on my left, and a sultry purple unicorn with emerald eyes on my right, “how about a drink?” she said, gesturing back towards the dining hall.

“That sounds perfect,” I nodded, sitting down on my haunches and bringing up my pipbuck, “but first let me pick out some good 'mood music',” I put my hoof to the volume dial, “there's this one station that I really like. Want to hear it?”

I spun the volume dial up to its highest setting.

At first, there was nothing but the faintest static. There was a sickly heavy ball of fear in my gut as the longest seconds I'd ever known ticked by in my head. After all, I was taking a pretty big leap of faith here, with hardly any evidence to back it up. Maybe Windfall had managed to evade her opponents and get to Foxglove and Homily. Maybe she'd even managed to sort out whatever had happened to the pair and get them back to work. Maybe those two ponies had even managed to make the changes they said they could to the radio tower.

Maybe I was completely wrong, and this bluff was going to come crashing down around my ears in another five seconds when they decided that I was just stalling for more time and killed me to save themselves any future grief.

You're putting a lot of faith in a pegasus that bought a pistol specifically to kill you if she thought she needed to...

I didn't have faith that Windfall was going to save me, if that's what Whiplash was getting at. The pegasus wasn't going to go out of her way to risk her life for my sake. I knew that perfectly well.

But to save the lives of everypony else here? That little pegasus would move the whole of the world itself. That was just the sort of mare a pony like her was. Unlike myself, she was a good pony.

Static roared forth from the pipbuck. A burst of screeching and buzzing that sounded to have no form or function to it. Of course, function was exactly what it truly did have. Every doppel around me reared up and clamped their hooves over their ears in an effort to dull the sound that was tearing at their brains and would give them no peace.

I threw my hooves around the creature that had only a second before been wearing Windfall's face and gave the head a violent twist while my right hind leg shot out and caught Foxglove's impostor in the jaw. Then I dove for the forty-five caliber pistol laying in the dirt nearby. I scooped it up into my mouth and leveled the weapon at the cringing Bivouac. I depressed the trigger with my tongue as rapidly as I could...

...only to feel the slide lock back after just a single round, which looked to only catch the larger doppel in her shoulder without inflicting any perceptible injury.

Oh, for fuck's sake!

I spit the useless weapon out of my mouth and went for my knife again. It didn't look like that burst of radio noise was having the same level of effect upon Bivouac that it had on the others though. Where the smaller black creatures were writhing around in paralyzing agony, their larger matriarch seemed merely annoyed by the sound and had simply been made to pause by the unexpectedness of it.

She opened up her mouth in a vicious snarl which morphed quickly into an outraged roar that sent flecks of green spittle in my direction. Her wings buzzed to life and lifted her into the air. Then she dove for me with a murderous glint in her eye. My knife was ready to meet her, but I had little faith that I was going to be able to take on the larger equine monster.

Then the air cackled with a roar of gunfire and ricochets. A hail of lead slugs tore into the large black creature, transforming her aggravated roar into a pained scream. She slammed into the ground off to the side. I tore my eyes away from her corpse, and turned them towards the sky, and the brilliant yellow blip that darted across my EFS. Windfall!

Another burst of gunfire ripped through the air and splattered a pair of the nearby doppels into even holier messes than they had already been. I took the opportunity that presented itself and jumped onto a third with my knife, making short work of the creature. It was good that I had, as the screeching cacophony crackling from my pipbuck died away a second later. The remaining doppels were slow to shake off their disorientation, but they were still many in number; and I was reluctant to engage them up close, lest I be swarmed by their superior numbers.

“Jackboot,” a voice called down from on high. I risked a quick glance upward just in time to see a tiny bundle falling towards me, “catch!”

My eyes widened as I recognized the shape of my old pistol's holster. I spat the knife from my mouth and leaped to snag the firearm out of the air. The weight of the weapon testified to it's loaded status, so I flicked off the safety and turned to face the nearest of the doppels. My tongue depressed the trigger three times in quick succession, eliciting a scream as two of those rounds found the beast's chest and inflicted oozing green pock marks upon it. The third shot caught it in the head and silenced those screams. I turned my head slightly in an effort to line up my next target.

Before I could fire though, something massive and black leaped into my line of fire. Furious blue eyes with thin pupils glared down at me. I froze as my mind processed what I was seeing yet again. Part of me suggested that it couldn't have been possible, as I had just watched Bivouac get cut down by a barrage of bullets from Windfall's twin automatic weapons. Yet, the giant doppel seemed for more irritated than maimed by the attack.

Her mouth parted and she screeched in my direction as several of her minions dashed past her.

For my part, I backpedaled as quickly as my legs would allow, firing far more wildly than I perhaps should have. If was hard to force myself to take the necessary time to line up my shots though, as I was still trying to wonder at how I was going to take down something that had shrugged off the pegasus' efforts like Bivouac had.

It seemed that Windfall was intent of confirming the effectiveness of her weapons as she executed another pass at the enemy with both barrels blazing. She wasn't firing normal slugs this time though. Green pellets rained from the sky as the flier employed her limited supply of magically explosive ammunition against the monster that had refused to die with her first run.

Bivouac was ready this time though, as she glared towards the pegasus. Her horn flare to life, and an emerald sheen glimmered around her. The darkening sky became very illuminated as Windfall's round struck the manifested barrier. Magic met magic, and the results were a wave of brilliant green orbs of light as the round detonated short of their primary target. Some strays did managed to strike down a smaller doppel or two They others scattered in an effort to avoid dying in the exchange.

I continued to withdraw while I found myself no long the center of attention. Then I saw Bivouac's reprisal in the form of a jade bolt launching into the sky. There was a flash in the darkness and a feminine grunt. My eyes tracked the yellow blip that I knew to be Windfall as it dropped to the ground.

“Windy!” I charged in her direction, disregarding the other doppels nearby. The blip remained solid on my Eyes Forward Sparkle, so I knew at least that the flier hadn't been killed by the magical attack; but the pegasus had obviously been taken out of the fight by Bivouac's attack.

I neared the fallen Windfall, and saw could see that her alabaster coat was marred by...something. The pegasus was conscious and clearly struggling against whatever the substance was that was covering most of her body, but it was fairly clear that she was not going to be able to free herself on her own. I mentally winced as I realized that I'd left my knife behind. Perhaps I'd be able to bite through whatever that stuff was and-

There was an emerald flash and my legs became suddenly bound up beneath me, sending me plowing into the hard scrabble ground. My pistol clattered out of my teeth as I hit with a rather painful amount of force. Cognizant of the nearby threats, I pushed the pain into the back of my mind and rolled to get a look at what had brought me down so suddenly. I snarled at the sight of some sort of stick green ichor that had appeared around my legs. I strained against the substance, but it seemed to possess an elasticity that belied its strength.

Heedless of the numerous doppels closing in, I continued to struggle against the unusual bonds. That they stretched at all suggested that there would be a point at which they would break. I yet to find that point though. Windfall's own frustrated growls suggested that she hadn't either. Then the flier's tone shifted very suddenly to own of outrage.

I ceased my own struggles and craned my head around so that I could see what was happening to her. Two doppels had clamped their jaws on the green bonds and were proceeding to drag her away into the darkness, “hey, you fuckers, let her go!” I strained harder against my bonds.

“Oh my,” Bivouac's voice sounded so close to me was startling, and caused me to involuntarily whip my head around to stare at the lanky black creature standing over me. Her tongue ran over her lips, which had wound their way into a satisfied smile, “aren't we just the little buffet of emotions? Rage, frustration, and terror; but, beneath it all, is the root cause...” she inhaled deeply though her nose, as though she might be inhaling an enticing aroma, “...love. An awkward, bittersweet, love; but love all the same.”

She nodded her head, and I heard the sounds of dragging stop. Then Bivouac stepped closer to Windfall, ignoring the string of epithets and curses being flung at her by the flier. The larger doppel stood over the pegasus for a few moments, and then glanced back at me, completely oblivious to the winged pony. Bivouac locked her eyes on me, “hmm...is it unrequited? Let's find out.”

The doppel craned her head down closer to the cursing pegasus, “quiet...” it didn't even appear that Windfall cared in the slightest that Bivouac was saying, as her swearing endeavored to become even more creative and colorful, “...or I'll snap his neck,” she nodded her head in my direction.

To my surprise, Windfall fell instantly silent. The pegasus was very much doing everything in her power to make the larger doppel explode with her baleful glare, but not a single sound escaped her lips. Again the creature inhaled and smiled, “my...so stale, this love. Scorned, were we?

“You two are clearly a package deal,” she continued as she straightened and returned to my side, “it's been a while since we've had ponies as close as you two,” she stood over me once more. Her tongue traced over her lips, dribbles of bile oozing down her chin as she brought her jaws near to my face, “what a meal you'll make!”

“You leave him alone, you bitch!” Windfall screamed.

“Patience, darling,” Bivouac murmured, though I doubted that the pegasus could actually hear the soft words, “I'll leave room for desert,” then her jaws opened up far wider than I had ever thought they would be capable of. I cringed away from the gaping maw of jagged black teeth...

I was curled up next to something warm. There was the sound of humming. A steady beating pulsed through my whole body, as though it were in time with my own little heart. A fire crackled nearby, and the scent of spices filled the air. Nothing was cooking though. That was just how my mother smelled. This was my favorite spot; curled right up next to her like this. My mother's singing washed away every bad memory that I had about what my father had put me through that day.

This was a moment that I wanted to have last forever.

...Something was wrong. The humming had stopped. The fire had gone out. No longer was I pressed up against something warm, but a hard cold shell. The air smelled of rot and decay. I craned my tiny head upward to see what had gone wrong, and found myself looking into the face of terror itself. Black jagged teeth, baleful blue eyes, and a sickly green glow.

I screamed.

Something warm was curled up next to me. I was humming a whimsical little tune that I only vaguely remembered. I could feel my heart beating against a slightly smaller body. There was a faint scent of sweat and the rancid stench of a stallion's dirty work. Tremors periodically flooded back into my body. It was okay though. I ignored the trembling and the sour smell. A bath could wait for later. Right now, my sister needed to know that not everypony in the world was out to get her.

She needed to know that somepony cared. Maybe her big brother couldn't stop what was happening to her, but I could be there to help put her back together afterwards.

...Something was wrong. She wasn't trembling any longer, but it wasn't because she had finally finished crying. The cold body that I was leaning against stirred, and I opened my eyes, the song from my memory dying away. I was looking once more into the face of horror.

I screamed.

The only source of warmth around me was a tiny little furnace that blazed beneath my neck. Every other part of me was soaked to the bone and freezing. A tuft of pinions from a minuscule wingtip occasionally twitched and poked me in the eye. How the little pegasus filly had managed to fall asleep in this storm, I doubted that I would ever understand. Still...I remained at my post as her shelter and source of comfort. She'd had a rough day, like all too many of the days she'd seen since losing her family.

She worked hard though, this little filly. Always did as she was told, and took everything I taught her to heart. I'd never given much though to ever becoming a father; not after the shining example I'd had to model off of. That and never really finding myself fancying a mare enough to want to hang around for as long as it'd take to raise a family.

But this though...this was nice.

…Something was wrong. My little furnace was gone, and that soft pinion was now an insecticide monstrosity. I pulled back and looked down at the twisted form of a creature that was not quite a pony.

I screamed.

There was a deep, regretful, sigh from somewhere nearby. A grating voice that I had begun to associate fully with the colonel that had greeted our group at the gates of McMaren spoke in wistful tones, “that's the trouble with ponies these days: so little to hold onto. I remember when I barely got through all of a pony's foalhood memories in a single gulp,” my eyes fluttered open, and I saw the tall, lanky, doppel standing over me, wiping something from her mouth. A faint verdant aura emanated from her, drifting to the smaller creatures nearby. They basked in this dim glow, as though it was a soothing shower of bliss.

I looked past the scene and saw Windfall looking at me in wide-eyed concern. I had no idea what she'd just witnessed, but from the looks of things, she had found it quite frightening. Hard to imagine, given the sorts of horrors that we'd faced regularly in the Wasteland. It'd be interesting to see how she reacted to what was going to happen next. I recalled Bivouac having previously mentioning 'desert'.

Something else caught my attention too, as I looked tiredly at the young white mare: she'd brought more with her than just my pistol. A familiar pair of saddlebags that did not belong to the pegasus were slung across her back beneath the sticky bindings that had caught her. I mentally went through a list of what those bags would contain.

Done with me, the taller black monster turned from me and headed for the pegasus. In the back of my mind, there the temptation to simply lay there and watch what was about to happen. On the other hoof, this would be the first time that Bivouac's attention wouldn't be focused on me. Indeed, it looked as though most of the doppels were intent upon the ivory flier and the fate that was about to befall her. A quick glance all around me provided some other enlightening insight as well. If I was going to make good on an escape, now was the time.

My eyes darted to my bound up limbs. Struggling alone against whatever this substance was had proved futile, but perhaps something else would work. I craned my neck downward and grabbed a wad of the material in my mouth. It tasted rancid and foul, but I somehow managed to keep myself from retching too loudly. I ground my teeth together, pinching as much of the substance as I could between my molars, and felt it start to fray apart. Strands snapped one by one as I continued to chew my way through my bonds. Meanwhile, my ears kept track of Windfall and Bivouac's nearby exchange.

“Aren't you a feisty little filly,” the lanky doppel cooed, “I like that. The feisty ones always have so much that they care about.”

Finally, I felt the bindings wrapped around my legs give way with a muffled snap. I extracted my legs from the loosened bonds and looked around. All eyes were focused on Bivouac and Windfall. None were looking at the stallion that had finished with. Odd, I thought in the back of my head, that they hadn't seemed to want all that much from me in the first place. I had expected that they would either physically devour me or drain the life from me in some other fashion; but aside from a mild headache, I felt fine.

Didn't change the fact that I still considered them a threat that needed to be dealt with.

A quick glance to my left confirmed that my pistol hadn't fallen far from where I'd gone down. Not that I thought for a moment that it would be enough to take down the sort of creature that could shrug off Windfall's own assault. Regular bullets seemed to work well enough on her minions though. As for Bivouac herself, I had a few notions of what might be able to bring her down.

I got to my hooves and collected the pistol in my mouth. Compared to how the bindings had tasted, the dirt covered bitter steel of the firearm was a welcome respite. Now I just needed an opening...

My ear twitched.

Good timing there, Homily.

I confirmed that the volume dial on the pipbuck's radio was turned up to the highest setting and then started walking towards the group of doppel's surrounding Windfall with careful, quiet, steps. I lined up the barrel of my weapon on the closest of the smaller creatures and waited for the burst of static that would cripple them.

A few seconds later, I was rewarded by said cacophonous squealing from the little fetlock-mounted device. As before, Bivouac herself was more annoyed than truly pained by the noise, but her fellows were outright tortured by it. I fired a pair of shots into the back of one of the doppel's heads, ending its misery, and then put down a second. The gunfire got the taller creature's full attention, and she whipped her head around, genuinely surprised to see me up and about.

My face broke out into a broad smile around the grip of the pistol in my mouth, “s'up?”

I fired a round into her forehead.

The shot didn't kill her of course, I hadn't expected it to. Of course, just because small caliber bullets wouldn't pierce her carapace didn't mean that they still didn't have a fair amount of kick behind them. At the very least, it would still feel like she'd been bucked in the head by a rowdy mule. All I needed was for that brief moment of pain and shock to make it past the doppel leader and get to Windfall.

“Jackboot, cut me free!” the pegasus cried, her eyes scanning the surrounding doppels that were still writhing on the ground nearby.

“Maybe later,” I mumbled and I flipped open the flap of one of my saddlebags and grabbed out a thin red stick, “busy now.”

“Jackboot!”

Ignoring the outraged flier, I turned to face a very annoyed looking Bivouac. Her eyes darted to the object clutched in the crook of my fetlock, and her lips twisted into a cruel smile, “dynamite? As though such a simple weapon could possibly be enough to take down me,” she actually sounded a little insulted by the prospect, “I once defeated the pony that your kind now reveres as a goddess in single combat.

“What hope do you have?”

“Hope?” I snorted, “hope ain't never helped anypony in the Wasteland,” even now the sound of the static burst was dying away, and all around us the remaining doppels were struggling back to their hooves and shaking off the effects of the errant signal. They didn't seem very pleased at me for having inflicted it upon them for a second time.

“And this ain't dynamite,” I slammed the crimson stick into the ground and reflexively winced as the ancient flare sputtered to life after two centuries of dormancy. The brilliant scarlet flame turned night into day for about twenty feet in every direction, casting everything in a reddish-orange light that twinkled off of the doppels' carapaces as the flare spit and flickered in a desperate effort to remain lit despite the passage of time.

Bivouac stared at the flare for several seconds, as did the other doppels with her. Then she snarled and looked back at me, “less than useless,” she spat, “that pathetic little fire won't save you. We don't fear the light!”

“Never thought you did,” I shrugged and rolled my eyes, “but back to that whole 'hope' thing you were talking about,” I cleared my throat and slung the pistol off to the side of my mouth to make speaking a little easier, “as I was saying: hope is useless. It never did nothin' for nopony.

“Reinforcements on the other hoof...they help out a good bit. Especially when they have some way for finding you in the middle of the night,” I once more smiled at Bivouac in a broad grin, “you see, this little gadget does more than make noise,” I tapped the pipbuck on my leg, “it's what let me see all of you for what you really are. Y'all look mighty particular to me compared to regular ponies. You fellas look like flickering red dots. Normal ponies are a solid yellow.

“I tell y'all this because I feel you've been neglecting the larger battlefield in favor of this little skirmish.

“And because I'm seeing a lot of yellow out there.”

Bivouac blinked at me, her expression losing nearly all trace of malice and intimidation; replaced instead by worry and concern. She glanced about briefly at the half dozen minions near her, and then cast her gaze further out. The smaller doppels around their leader likewise looked less sure of themselves. My own eyes briefly flicked in a narrow arc around Windfall and I, taking note of the dozen solid yellow blips that were now close enough to be detected. Blips that had ceased to traverse my vision as they had been before I lit the flare. Now they appeared still, suggesting that they were heading either towards or away from us; and with a brilliant beacon like the one that I had just provided that showed clearly the positions of the monsters around us, I could think of no reason why those ponies should be withdrawing.

A few brief seconds later, ponies emerged into view at the edges of the flare's glow. All of them were armed, and most were covered in smears of green blood that testified to the many doppels they had slain up to this point in the evening. I could only imagine how rough those first moments of fighting must have been, even with those monsters indisposed they way they had been. They initial shock would have cost Homily's ponies precious seconds during the revelation. Nor would the doppels have been inclined to restrain themselves very much once they'd been exposed like they had. It had obviously been a very bloody affair.

Yet it seemed that the ponies had won out in the end.

My eyes locked onto a purple unicorn at the head of the group. Her hair was matted with a mixture of green and red blood. At her side hovered her eldrich lance, thrumming with power. Foxglove's eyes flickered briefly to Windfall and myself to make sure than the two of use were relatively unharmed, and then returned their focus to the doppels.

“Looks like you have a choice to make, Bivouac,” I said, turning away from the tall black carapace-clad monster and her concerned expression. I sought out a small utility knife from the saddlebags and passed it to Windfall so that she could begin freeing herself, “run or die,” I poked my head back into the bags for another brief moment and came out with an ampule of Dash in my mouth. Calmly, I depressed the small canister and took a long pull on the aerosol that flooded into my lungs.

Time seemed to slow as I let out a deep breath and allowed the inhaler to fall to the ground, spent. I turned back to face the doppels and craned my head from one side to the other, feeling the gratifying crack of my neck as I did so. Bivouac leveled a very irritated sneer in my direction. Around her, her remaining servants backed into a protective circle as they faced down the superior force being arrayed against them.

“Your still here?” I cocked my head to the side, intrigued. Then I shrugged, “die it is.”

I launched myself at the group of doppels. Bivouac's horn flared, and a bolt of green light arced towards me. I bound to the right, and let the magical ball of energy hurl itself uselessly into the ground. A deft hop put me into the air, and a twist of my hips swung my hind legs into one of the smaller doppels surrounding their leader. Its head snapped around far quicker then whatever musculature existed in its neck had been designed to tolerate, and the creature's head wound up facing backwards before the beast fell over dead. Not before I used the body as a fulcrum to push off of and give me the altitude that I needed to finally get eye level with Bivouac.

My forelegs wrapped around her head. My left swung beneath her jaw while my right grabbed her gnarled horn. I anchored my hind legs around her shoulders and then arched my back as far back as I could. Bivouac's head and neck strained against me, but her magical strength belied her physical prowess, and she soon found her head pulled back as far as I could get it, to the point where she was even able to glare right back at me; albeit upside-down.

“Didn't anypony ever tell you that it's important to keep your head in a fight?” I chuckled.

Bivouac's outraged scowl flickered in confusion for a brief moment. Then her eyes went wide for a terrified, pained, fraction of a second. The next thing I knew, I was off balance and falling backwards off of the tall doppel's back, her head still clutched in my hooves. I was able to roll over at the last moment and use the severed head and neck to break my fall as I hit the ground. The rest of the larger doppel's body crumpled down next to me in almost the same instant. In front of me stood Foxglove, her lance hovering at her side.

Small caliber rounds were one thing, magically powered cutting torches were another, I reasoned.

A quick glance confirmed that the remaining smaller doppels had been dispatched with little issue by the other ponies. I looked back at the blood-splattered unicorn, “took you long enough.”

Foxglove was not amused by the comment, “they caught us almost immediately when we got back to the radio tower,” she sighed, shaking her head, “Homily is not good under pressure. I think these things can literally sense fear. The moment she stepped through the door, all the McMaren ponies...er, whatever, looked right at her and pounced.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, “great. How'd you get away?”

“Me,” Windfall announced from behind me, having finally freed herself from her bonds. She was still fishing errant strands out of her wings though, “when I get away from the ambush, I figured something had to have gone wrong at the tower.”

“Yeah, about that,” I glanced at the young flier, “I knew that it wasn't the real Foxglove when we got outside because of my Eyes Forward Sparkle. How'd you figure it out?”

Windfall cocked her brow, “I knew the moment she approached me in the mess hall,” she blinked, “wait, you didn't know until we were already outside?”

“How could you have possibly have known then?” I asked incredulously. They looked identical!

“Um, no lance? Duh.”

I blinked and thought back over the encounter. Sure enough, there had been no lance with the mare that had come to get us in the mess hall; and given the situation that we knew ourselves to be in at the time, there would have been no way that the real Foxglove would have ventured out unarmed, “oh. Right.”

“So, yeah,” Windfall went on, “I darted back to our rooms, collected our gear, and then rescued the ponies at the tower.”

“So, is this the last of them?” I asked, nodding at the pile of corpses nearby.

“Pretty sure,” Foxglove replied with a nod, “we don't exactly know how many of them there were to begin with, but I got the impression that they all wanted to be near us all night. Did we ever figure out what they wanted to do to us?”

“Bivouac did something to Jackboot,” Windfall informed the unicorn, a note of concern coloring her tone. Both mares looked at me, “are you alright?”

“I'm fine,” I frowned at the pair, “just a little headache.”

“You're sure?”

“Of course I'm sure,” I curled my lip in a sneer as I jerked my head towards the beheaded carcass nearby, “I did just help kill their leader or whatever. Whatever she did to me, it didn't last very long. Fuck if I know what it was all about. A couple bad dreams and it was all over.

“Now, since the crisis is over with; I'm feeling kind of hungry, and I could use a shower,” I stepped past the pair of mares and headed for the mess hall. As I stepped past an orange earth pony mare that was part of Homily's crew, I brushed up against her and murmured in her ear, “I could use some help with those hard-to-reach places, honey,” she drew back in surprise and I winked at her, “think on it.

“And Windy, put my crap back in my room, would ya? Thanks!”

It had been a long night, and a bitter fight. Fortunately, it was finally over, and I could relax again. It had felt like weeks since I'd been in a position to do that. The thought that this was much the way I had felt only a few hours ago did occur to me, and it had proven to be an erroneous observation. On the other hoof, most, if not all, of the McMaren monsters were dead now; and I was through with worrying about what they had been up to. Whatever Bivouac had done to me hadn't seemed to have any real affect anyway, and I was feeling like I'd allowed myself to get all wound up for nothing.

A little food, a lot of alcohol, and a warm bed were the order of the—sweet mother of Celestia!

I nearly jumped out of my hide as a burst of deafening static burst out of my leg. I scrambled for the volume knob on the pipbuck and turned it all the way down. Then I smack the 'Off' button several times, but that didn't do very much. Then Homily and Foxglove's explanation about how the signal didn't care whether the receivers had power or not crept back into my memory. Hopefully somepony dealt with that before it pissed me off enough to do something about it.

The sound of movement coming from behind me drew my attention, and I turned my head only to see the orange mare I'd whispered to earlier coming up behind me. A smile tugged at my lips, and I slowed my pace to allow her to catch up. It looked like she'd opted to take me up on my offer after all.

“Foxglove said we shouldn't let anypony be alone in case there are more of those things out there,” the Orange mare said, by way or explaining her presence.

“Smart mare, that one,” I nodded, brushing up against the mare as she came up beside me, “we shouldn't be alone for even a moment,” I agreed, “not even when we're in bed. Have you got one yet, by the way? Because mine's pretty big.”

The mare frowned slightly and stepped further to the side, “I'm...not sure I'm really in the mood for that sort of thing. Not after what I just went through.”

“I understand,” I said with a nod as we neared the mess hall, “it can be pretty stressful for anypony that's not used to that sort of thing. You know what helps?”

“What?”

“A drink,” I shrugged. The mare flashed a dubious look in my direction. I shook my head and smiled warmly, “I'm not saying get drunk,” I explained, “just have one drink. Enough of a buzz to make you a little numb and put what you went through into perspective. Trust me, it works. This isn't my first brush with long odds.

“We were the ponies that took on a whole raider den to rescue you, remember?”

The orange mare thought about this for a moment and then nodded, “alright,” she conceded, “but just the one drink.”

We arrived at the door to the mess hall and I opened it and waved the mare inside, “it's all you'll need,” I assured her, and followed the earth pony's red tail inside.

“Jackboot?”

I winced hard at the sound of my name. Honestly, the fact that the sound was my name had very little to do with what had induced the wince. That it was a sound at all had been enough. It was far too early in the morning for anypony to be speaking that loudly while they were standing in the same room that I was. Didn't anypony have an ounce of respect for sleeping ponies anymore?

“Jackboot?”

A grumbled garble of sounds that I had intended to be a sternly worded rebuke and insistence that this intruder leave was the response that they got as I rolled away from the sound and covered my head with my pillow. Learn to take a hint, whoever you were. And, for the love of Celestia, stop yelling!

“Jackboot!”

Oh, for pony's sake, “what?!” I shot up out of bed and glared at the intruder; and I immediately regretted everything that I had just done. The bright light of what I took to be the noon day overcast, combined with the rapid movements, only served to announce to myself that I did indeed have the mother of all hangovers. My brains started to throb with unparalleled pain. I was simultaneously overcome with a wave of nausea, which cascade up through my throat and out of my mouth and onto the floor beside the bed in a very unexpected fashion.

At least it was over quickly. Now if the pony in the room with me would be so kind as to pick up Full Stop and put a bullet through my head so that I wouldn't be forced to suffer any more, that would be wonderful.

My visitor was silent for a long moment while I finished retching and spiting out the contents of my stomach. After a few unproductive dry heaves, she continued speaking once more, “feeling better?”

“No,” I groaned, feeling my stomach threatening to rally for another bout of puking; despite its very empty state, “go away, Foxy.”

“Stop calling me that,” the lavender mare said in a dry tone, “we're not on pet name terms. Which brings me to why I'm here.”

“It's too early for this shit,” I grumbled and rolled back over in bed to face away from the mare.

“It's three in the afternoon.”

“Like I said: too early.”

“Tough. We're having this discussion, so make peace with it. You and I are going to get some things straightened out here and now.”

“You really need to get laid.”

The mare seemed to balk at the comment, “excuse me?”

“You heard me,” I tugged the covers up more over my shoulders and shifted to make myself more comfortable in the bed, “go get yourself a nice pony ride and then we can 'talk' about whatever's still bothering you about last night.

“Now if you'll excuse me, I struck out pretty hard last night, and I'm still very hung over,” go figure that orange mare was gay. A fact that didn't come to light until we were both already half drunk and Homily walked in. Gay, and attached...who knew? At least she and Homily got in a fair amount of passionate kissing before shuffling off to find someplace more private. I wasn't much for the whole 'watching' thing, but at least I'd known they weren't weird insectoid monsters that time. It did give me a little material for some personal time when I'd finally stumbled back to my own bed later that night.

Very suddenly, I was no longer on the bed. The sheet had been ripped away with such force that it had landed me on the floor with a very unceremonious thunk. If I wasn't too hung over to stand up, I'd probably have tried to take a swing at Foxglove. As it was, all I could do was voice my protest and glare at her, “what the fuck!”

“We're talking about this,” the purple unicorn insisted, “because it's about Windfall too.”

“Ugh,” I groaned, “why? That thing didn't turn into Windfall until after you came in the room...”

“Jackboot,” she hissed through gritted teeth, “one of those things was in Windfall's room too, you know?”

Oh, that was right, wasn't it? I remembered that now. It had lead to the little predicament where shooting me to make sure I still bled red blood was a viable option. Still, that didn't explain why it had this mare so wound up, “so? She had things pretty well in hoof when I got there,” she'd had my double rather expertly subdued as I recalled.

“Yeah, but when I found her before that, things were...different,” Foxglove stressed the word uncomfortably.

I looked up at the mare and cocked a brow, “different how?”

The unicorn only glared at me in silence. It was a genuinely amused smile on the face of a piss-yellow mare that live in my head and a rather lewd gesture with her hooves that started the gears turning, “oh. Oh! Really?”

Foxglove did not seem to care for the way that my lips curled into a smile around that last word. She shot me a very fiery glare, “it's not okay, Jackboot,” she insisted, “she can't think you'd really do something like that.”

“Why not?” I asked with a frown, “it's not like I'm her real father or anything, and she's a grown mare,” my response seemed to take Foxglove aback. The unicorn blinked at me in stark shock, “hell, I've saved her life like a hundred times or something. The least I deserve from her's a good fuck or two-”

I was very much not prepared for the smack across my face that my presumption earned me, “what the fuck?!” I yelled at the unicorn. Cold fury pushed aside most of my alcohol related impairments, and I finally found the balance necessary to get up onto my hooves and square off against the mare. I wasn't quite so sure of how competent I'd be in any sort of physical altercation, so I held my own hoof from a retaliatory strike; but I did keep Foxglove fixed with a deathly stare, “the hell was that for?!”

“I thought you raised her from a filly,” the unicorn seethed, “a couple weeks ago you were ready to give up everything to protect her, and wouldn't dreamed of touching her like that.

“What changed?”

“Call it an epiphany,” I shrugged. More of return to my roots really, if I was going to be honest. This had been the plan from the beginning: groom a fiercely loyal pawn that would defend me to the death, and provide comfort on demand. I had lost sight of that over the last few years, sure, but things were back in focus once more, “our relationship's changed quite a bit recently, if you'll recall. Windy knows I'm a White Hoof; the whole 'dad' angle's out the window. I'm just some stallion to her now.

“According to you, I'm a stallion she fancies, too. So why pretend?”

Foxglove looked shocked at my admission, “how could you even think to do that to a filly-”

“Because she ain't a filly no more,” I spat back at the purple mare, “and she's fucking hot, and I ain't had any in like ten years or something. You don't get to tell me who I can fuck; and her neither.”

“She's not old enough for that sort of thing, Jackboot. You touch one feather on her and I'll-”

“Oh, finish that threat,” I growled at the mare, “I dare you,” whatever else Foxglove had been about to say died in her throat beneath my cold gaze. She took a step back from me, and I saw her horn start to glow. My eyes flickered to the eldrich lance strapped to her back, and the faint emerald aura that it had taken on. I suppressed the impulse to take a step back of my own. She's have the upper hoof in a fight right now, and if I was the one that attacked her, she could very easily claim self defense when she explained things to Windfall.

Of course, now that I had access to some very interesting information...

I smiled at the unicorn and then looked past her, “hey, Windy? You mind coming in here for a second,” my gaze flickered back to the unicorn, who was now looking very concerned about what I was up to. The lance stayed affixed to her back though.

A few moments later, the pegasus stepped into the room, performing some minor adjustments to the straps of her modified battle-saddle, “hey, you're up,” she noted, “welcome back to the land of the living. Next time leave a little booze for the rest of us, I've only got the one bottle of Special Reserve left.”

“Ha, ha, Very funny,” I responded with a rather obviously feigned laugh to demonstrate my lack of amusement about what had transpired last night, “speaking of last night,” I cast a side glance at Foxglove, “Foxy here was telling me about who you thought was paying you a night-time visit,” I saw the young flier's cheeks instantly start to burn pink beneath her white downy fur, “you like older stallions, eh?” the glower from the unicorn was hard to ignore, but I was mostly sure she wouldn't cut me in half in front of Windfall like this.

Mostly.

For her part, the pegasus was looking a little uncomfortable with the direction of this conversation, and very embarrassed about the topic at large. I noticed a glare of betrayal being cast in the unicorn's direction as well, “Foxy here didn't go into details; care to share some?”

“I...” the pegasus began, shifting nervously from one hoof to the other, “...think we should get going. It's a long walk back to New Reino,” Windfall very suddenly and very quickly found a need to adjust her straps further as she turned and left the room at a brisk trot.

Foxglove and I were once more alone in the room, staring each other down. The unicorn's horn wasn't glowing anymore, her lance tucked neatly in its sling. It was clear from Foxglove's expression that she wanted very much to smack the satisfied expression I was wearing off of my face. I wasn't done toying with this bitch yet, though, and tapped a hoof on my chin thoughtfully, “there are actually quite a few nice bars in New Reino, now that I think of it. I should take Windy to one of them; buy her a few rounds. See where the night takes us...”

“Jackboot, don't,” the unicorn's tone was less threatening this time around, and leaning more towards a near-desperate plea, “she's confused. She's learned a lot about you recently, and she's still trying to figure things out.”

“Sounds to me like she's figured out a thing or two,” I noted, “out of curiosity, was she on her belly or does she take it on her back?”

“What is wrong with you?!” Foxglove hissed, making a cautious glance over her shoulder to see if the pegasus was still anywhere nearby, “Jackboot, please, don't! Not to her.”

I seized on those last three words, as they gave me a very new and interesting direction to take this conversation that might even work about better for me, all things considered, “alright.”

The violet mare was about to say more in an effort to make her case, but drew up short with a confused blink, “what. Really?”

“Well, why not?” I shrugged, and started poking around my barding and gear, “I mean, sure she's cute; but I've had 'cute' before. An older buck like myself needs more than just a pretty face,” I nuzzled the worn leather armor up and over my head and onto my back, “besides, she's never fucked, like, ever. I don't think she's ever even touched a dick before.

“I'd have to teach her everything. Hoofjobs, dick sucking, reverse pony-rides,” I idly fiddled with the straps of the barding, keeping my expression rather bored and neutral even as I watched Foxglove grow more flustered in the doorway, “I'd probably have to stop her every ten seconds to tell her what she's doing wrong. You're not a stallion, so you can't imagine how frustrating that'd be.

“It'd be the worst sex ever, like, the first three times, at least,” With the barding now fastened securely, I set about lifting my saddlebags onto my back and getting them tightened down.

“Well...it's not the reason I'd prefer,” Foxglove mumbled in a deadpan tone, “but I'll take the result. Thanks for agreeing to keep your hooves off of Windfall, Jackboot. I'll talk with her over the next few days, get her set straight.”

I nodded my accord, “that sounds fine,” I checked my pistol and Full Stop, and made certain that they were snug in their holsters. When I headed for the door, I drew up short just in front of Foxglove, making her take a half step back in surprise at my sudden proximity. A smirk appeared on my face at the sight of her perplexed expression, “I think the two of us should try out a quick kiss first; just to break the ice.”

“Wh-what?!” the unicorn took another, much larger, step back from me. It was very clear from her expression that she had no clue what I was talking about, which just encouraged my smile to grow a little broader, “have you lost your Celesta-given mind? Why would I ever kiss you?”

I shrugged, “ I mean, I guess we can go right to the sex, but I think that would just make those first moments kind of awkward, don't you?”

“What?!” Foxglove somehow manged to catch herself halfway through the outraged burst and rein it in to a loud whisper so as not to draw Windfall's attention to our conversation, “sex?! What could possibly make you think that I would ever have sex with you?!”

With a bored matter-of-factly look, I sighed, “hey, you're the one taking Windfall's slit off the menu; I think it's only fair that you provide the stand-in. Don't you?”

The unicorn's ears flattened to her head, and her eyes went hard once more, “you touch me and I'll castrate you right here and now,” she snarled in a low tone that suggested she wasn't exaggerating in the least.

I took a step back from her and raised a hoof in surrender, “alright, alright,” I conceded, “you're sending a lot of mixed signals my way, but fine. I'll stick with Windfall,” at a renewed glared from Foxglove, “but I'll take things slow, I promise. Tonight it'll be all about hoofjobs. I'll even be a gentlecolt and try not to cum in her eyes,” unfortunately, I wasn't able to keep my face straight for the entirety, and finished the promise a wry smile, “but if any gets on me, I'm going to make her lick it up, of course.

“I want her taught proper etiquette, after all.”

At this moment, I decided that Foxglove actually did have a phenomenal amount of self control when all was said and done. I could see in her eyes that she desired nothing more than to chop me up into manageable portions with her eldrich lance and then feed me morsel by morsel to as wide a variety of Wasteland critters as she could find until there was no trace left of me to soil this world. As it was, she just charged up into my face and growled. She didn't even hit me this time. For my part, I kept a level head and maintained my sly smile as I stared down the infuriated unicorn.

“Unless you'd like volunteer again?”

“You're a monster,” the mare informed me, as she glared up at me with seething emerald eyes.

“Never claimed to be anything else,” I said with a slight incline of my head, “shall we discuss terms?”

Foxglove said nothing, merely continuing to glare at me. I took her lack of an explicit refusal as a tacit agreement, “alright, I'll start: I get to take you whenever and however I want for as long as you're with us. Counter-offer?”

For several seconds, the unicorn was silent. Then she finally deigned to speak, “Once a week. Hoofjobs.”

“Ooh,” I shook my head and flashed the mare a frown, “we're going to have to meet in the middle on this one, Foxy. Once a day. Vaginal and oral, and you have to pretend to like it.”

“Vaginal or oral,” Foxglove growled in a low tone, “and you stop calling me 'Foxy'.”

“Vaginal or oral,” I conceded, “but I get to call you whatever I want. How else will I make Windy jealous while we're going at it?”

“Never in front of Windfall,” the unicorn was very emphatic about that point, and I let it slide. I was already making out better on this deal than I had honestly expected too. Foxglove was surprisingly protective of the young flier.

“Fine,” I said with a nod, “so we have a deal then? Once a day, vaginal or oral, I get to call you pet names, and never around the pegasus. Any other clauses you'd like to add?”

“You lay one hoof on Windfall, and I'll cut you in half.”

“Terms accepted,” I grinned at the unicorn. Then I leaned my head forward and casually ran my tongue over my lips, “let's kiss on it.”

Once again, Foxglove said nothing, but nor did she retract her head from my close proximity as she had the last time I leaned in. So, acting on a hunch, I pursed my lips and leaned the rest of the way in. It was hardly a passionate affair, and the unicorn kept her lips stubbornly closed, but I was still able to get a decent taste of the younger mare, and my nostrils filled with her scent.

I didn't let it last very long though. Already, after just a few seconds, I could feel myself starting to...anticipate...our first night; and I didn't want to start something that I wasn't going to have the chance to finish yet. I pulled back and took in a deep, satisfied, breath, “until tonight then.”

“You don't get to touch me until we reach New Reino,” Foxglove stated firmly, “like I said: not in front of Windfall.”

“A last minute addendum,” I softly chided, taking the liberty of once more extending my head and nuzzling the unicorn; mostly just to see if she'd balk at the intimate touch. To her credit, she did not. And why shouldn't she? I didn't know every detail about the mare's past, but I knew about her tenure in New Reino, and the gist of how she had spent her time in the city, “you're a shrewd negotiator,” this was how I should have approached things with Foxglove from the beginning, I reasoned. She was used to this: setting terms with clients for sex. Maybe it wasn't a straight up exchange for caps like I'd had with Saffron back in Flank, but services for promises was close enough.

“But that's going to cost you an addendum of my own,” I purred in her ear. My lips curled upward as I delivered the final little caveat, “I want to see some tears the first time,” I could feel Steel Bit sitting in the back of my head, and see his jagged grin, “and I want you to call me, 'Daddy'.”

Foxglove pulled away now, her face a mask of concern, and even a little revulsion. For a moment, I half expected her to back out of our arrangement, but she kept silent. I saw her eyes search mine for a few brief moments. When she didn't see any sign of whatever it was that she had been hoping to find, she turned and left. I watch her leave, my own gaze focusing on the supple little flank that was going to be all mine in just a few days time. My father's ghost was giving me a few suggestions for how best to abuse it during our inaugural rut.

It was going to be a lot of fun using that mare. If she felt good, I might even make an effort to let her enjoy things too and keep her around. If she was going to be as tight with her cunt as she had been with her lips though, I'd have to go ahead and make things rough for her. Enough so that I got her to renege on our deal or outright leave. Then I'd have an open go at Windfall with nopony to stand in my way. Steel Bit was all too ready to suggest a whole list of what to teach the little pegasus to do. A blank canvas like her would take a lot of work at first, but in the end I would have a mare that didn't have anypony else's bad habits to draw on.

You push that unicorn too far, and she might just kill you anyway, you know, my sister pointed out.

That was a possibility, yes. I'd take things slow with her at first. Make her think I was given fully to abiding by our contract. At least until I'd come up with some way of getting her out of the picture without further destroying the flier's trust. Maybe I could even arrange it in such a way that Windfall was driven into my bed for consolation. It was something to ponder on while we headed back for New Reino.

With the final bit of packing out of the way in terms of food and supplies, the three of us had one final meeting with Homily before we headed off. It was mostly just to confirm that things were as established at the ancient military base as we could have made them. I'd completed one final scan of the base with my Eyes Forward Sparkle, and confirmed that there was no sign of any other dopples. I very much doubted that every single one of them had been killed; but those that had survived had clearly fled. Hopefully for good. Though the suggestion had been made to Homily and her crew to keep a pass phrase system in place for the next few weeks just in case.

It would be weeks, if not months, before the radio tower was fit to make broadcasts with any meaningful range in the valley; but I was given leave to inform our benefactor that the mission had been accomplished, along with a message from Homily that would confirm as much and allow us to collect our payment. Frankly, that was all that I really wanted from these ponies, after eveything that I'd been through on their behalf. If there was any way to swing it, I was going to fish a bonus out of the pony that'd put out this contract for clearing out McMaren.

Footnote:
Level Up!: Quick Recovery - Getting up after being knocked down requires 1 less AP!
Unarmed Skill: 75

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