Day 10 - Morning

I had a bad dream and overslept this morning. Running late for work. After that dream, I've never been more determined. I'm asking Cherilee on that date. Even if I make a fool out of myself doing it. I'll tell you everything tonight, Journal.

Day 11 - Morning

I feel like I haven't slept that well in days, Journal. Fluttershy seems like she stopped teasing me about Cherilee. Which is good, or else Dad would have to get out his patented tickle attack.

It's at times like this that I really just feel, serene. My date... Erm. Evening I guess.

...

Wait a second. Should I get her a babysitter on that night?

...

She should be old enough to take care of herself. I think.

Crap, I better ask around at work.

Day 11 - Evening

Alright, so I asked around at work. It seems like Fluttershy is old enough to be left on her own for a few hours. Heck, the town is so trusting, they let most of the fillies run around on their own most of the time. I have zero concerns about leaving Fluttershy alone.I mean, she's so well behaved! Clearly a result of my good parenting.

...

Let me live in denial, Journal. It feels great.

OH! Fluttershy brought home her arts and crafts project from school. She made me a macaroni necklace. She painted it yellow with pink stripes down it. There are also little flowers on every other noodle. I'll quote her:

"I wanted you to have something pretty to wear all the time so you look pretty for Cherilee."

If I didn't know better, I'd say this filly is trying to play matchmaker here. Little squirt. I wore it for her all night.

Now I got it sitting here on my desk. She wants me to wear it on my date. Heh.

I'm sure Cherilee will understand if I wear it out the door for her. She said she has a new arts and crafts project coming up soon, this time they are doing painting. I'm pretty excited to see the new picture. I think I stress myself out too much, Journal. I'm gunna get some rest. Just a few more days.

P. S. SHIT WHERE AM I TAKING HER FOR DINNER.

Day 12 - Morning

I shouldn't be this nervous. I can't afford to be this nervous. But I am.

I feel like I have butterflies that are eating out my stomach from the insides. The best thing I can do right now is internalize it and don't let it rub off to Fluttershy. She seems to be more focused on getting her bunny this weekend. The way she bounds down the steps every morning and goes "It's dry, Daddy!" never fails to bring a smile to my lips.

I'm so proud of her.

I've been digging through my book more and more to find anything about differences between raising children as a single parent versus a couple. So far I've found absolutely nothing. Which, I have to admit, is really disappointing. At the end of the day, I have to take this book back this weekend anyway. I might as well see if there is anything else I can find while I'm there. See you tonight, Journal.

Day 12 - Evening

Another quiet day at work giving massages to customers. My hands are really sore today. I swear, I dunno what some of these ponies do, but they really get locked up sometimes. Especially the earth ponies. After a few of them in a row today, I had to take a break and let them rest for a little bit.

While I was in the break room, I overheard a weird conversation. I heard my boss in the other room talking privately with one of my coworkers. I know I probably shouldn't have listened in... but curiosity got the better of me. As I approached, I listened carefully.

My coworker was getting a scolding. At first, I didn't really understand what they were talking about. Something about "How you spend your time outside of work is your business." Blah, blah, blah.

I was about to walk away, since I shouldn't have been listening anyway, until something caught my ear. "You have to break it off with him. We can't let you date a customer," My boss commanded. Instantly my throat seized up and I got out of there.

What am I going to do, Journal? If work finds out that I'm going to go on a date with Cherilee... Ugh. This isn't going to be easy. I'll figure something out. I always do. I just need to think carefully about my decisions.

Anyway, on a brighter note, I think I've finally got everything I need out of this book. Tomorrow I'm going to turn it back in to the library and see if I can find something more specific to my situation. I know I'll think of something. Fluttershy seemed extremely tired today when she got home from school. She even got home a little late. I asked her if everything was okay and she said she was just sleepy. She even went to bed without supper.

I hope that filly is okay...

I need that new book. I'm worried I'm messing up somewhere. Everything has been going great so far, so I've thought. Good meals. Strict bedtime. Healthy snacks. Playing outside. Bedtime stories. Positive reinforcement. I should be -nailing- this!

...

But I still have this gut feeling I'm doing something wrong. Well, no sense brooding over it. I better get some rest.

Night, Journal.

Day 13 - Morning

No appointments this morning! Hooray! I'm going to take the time to get some cleaning and errands done. I had to wake lazyflank up this morning. She seemed... almost delirious. Is she not getting enough sleep? She slept so long last night...

I asked her if she was feeling sick and she said no. I trust that if she were sick, that she would have told me. It's official. Time to find that other book. If there is one.

See ya, Journal.

Day 13 - Evening

I'm a bundle of stress right now, Journal. It's probably pathetic. Sincerely, it's probably is. Thank god you can't judge me. Or, at least I don't think a book can judge me. This -is- ponyland anyway. I wouldn't be surprised if it could happen.

None of that is the point.

Tomorrow night is the date with Cherilee. I've got everything all planned out. Appointment. Dinner. Walk. Simple.Yet, now I'm worried about if my boss finds out. After what I overheard the other day... I just don't want to put my job at stake.

It was hard enough finding a job here in town that the ponies would give me. It's not like I have a special talent like all the others. I'm just a human. Jack of all trades and master of none.

...

I just have to have faith that it will all turn out okay. I've hardily had any time to think about that though. Fluttershy collapsed on her way inside today. She said it was because of how tired she was. I instantly picked her up and tucked her in bed. I'm so concerned, Journal.

Should I cancel tomorrow? If she's sick, then I won't be able to stop thinking about her. I don't know if I can find a sitter on such short notice either. What am I supposed to do?

I'm going to talk to the next door neighbor tomorrow and see if she would mind checking in on her now and then. Hopefully she won't mind. The only real positive thing was that I was able to head to the bookstore today and pick up a new book. It turns out they dohave a book on filly adoption. Yet, I haven't even had the chance to crack it open yet. I'm just so bundled up in this decision.

...

If I don't get some rest, I'll be miserable tomorrow no matter what happens.

Good Night, Journal. Wish me luck.

Day 14 - Morning

Fluttershy is staying home sick from school today. My neighbor said she would check in on her occasionally. I owe her so much. I gotta get to work and try to stay calm about tonight. I'll tell you everything when I get back, Journal.

I promise.

The following is a condensed police report, made on [Day 15] at 1:03 AM.

Anonymous, the human who lives in town, ran into the station in distress at 11:18 PM on [Day 14] reporting a missing filly by the name of Fluttershy. Reportedly, he had been out on a date earlier in the evening with a Miss Cherilee, who works as a teacher at the local schoolhouse.

The search began through town at 11:30 PM, but no reports have been made to have seen the missing filly. Anonymous informed us that his neighbor, a Miss Rosemary, informed him that she would check on his sick child throughout the day while he went to work. Miss Rosemary reported that she checked consistently on the top of the hour until 7PM when she accidentally fell asleep reading a book. When she awoke around 10:30 PM, she ran into the home of Anonymous and the filly was missing from her bed.There are no signs of forced entry and the front door was not locked throughout the day. Evidence shows no sign of a kidnapping. We informed Anonymous to return to his home until further evidence arises.

As of this moment, we believe the filly may have entered the Everfree Forest, due to Anonymous informing us that she had a fascination for the inside of the forest, in part of her love for animals. We are readying an armed search party to search the forest for signs of the filly. More information will be delivered to Anonymous on a need to know basis.

Day 15, I think - Really Early.

I don't know who to talk to, Journal. The police won't tell me anything.

Cherilee left about an ho- -r ago. I can't sleep. She's gone and I have no idea where she went. When I got home she was just... gone, and my neighbor was in a panic, screaming she was sorry. I just want to know where she is right now... Maybe the Eve- -ee Forest.

...

I'm shaking, Jo- -rnal. I'm getting tears all over your pages. I don't k- -ow what to do. I just wish there was something I can do to help. What if some- -ne took her, Journal? What if she's out in the woods, alone, with nobody to protect her? Yelling out in vain for me, as she's tired, hun- -ry and cold.

I can't bear the the thought of it.

I can't concentrate.

I can barely form co- -ant sentences to tell you what's going on.

... I have to do something.

The following is a condensed police report, made on [Day 15] at 6:27 AM.

As our squad prepared to enter the Everfree Forest in search of the missing filly, Fluttershy, they stopped as a creature exited the forest with the missing party. They prepared their magic to attack the creature, but on closer inspection it was the human, Anonymous. He was covered in scratches and bruises, but no life threatening injuries. The filly reportedly went into the forest to play with her animal friends, which she had been doing every night for nearly a week and fell asleep. As of 6:10 AM, the case of the missing filly is closed.

Day 15 - Evening.

I'm very disappointed. In fact, that phrase doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how I feel right now. When we got home, I sat her down on the couch and scolded her. I had to.

She had no idea how worried sick I was. I'll tell you what happened, Journal. I entered the Everfree forest with my fists balled and adrenaline coursing through my veins. The thick foliage made it near black, but once my eyes adjusted, I could see a little bit.
Finally, after what felt like hours, I found a small clearing where dozens of animals were sleeping. Then, there she was, curled up in a little ball. Beside a goddamn bear.

I thought she was hurt. Or worse.

I sprinted to her, not thinking about the animals surrounding her. I was too worried Kneeling down beside her, I picked her up in my arms and she gently woke up.

"Daddy?" She said in a daze.

I instantly broke into tears and held her close to my chest.I thought I might have lost her for forever. That's when I whispered that we were going to go home. I turned around and began to walk out of the forest.

What I didn't expect was to be attacked by the fucking bear.

The bear, or Beary, as Fluttershy called him when she told him not to hurt me, was worried I was kidnapping her from him. I suppose there is something ironic in there, but I was too busy being attacked by a bear to notice. Once she said goodbye to all of her little animal friends, we made our way out of the woods.

I was furious.

Relieved, but furious.

We saw the police on the way out of the forest. After informing them of what happened, I took her home. Which brings us back to here. I had to scold her, even when her little face turned to the ground and tears welled in her eyes. I can't let her run off like that. No more nightly play time. She can play with her animal friends, but only during the day and in the back yard.

We are lucky that Miss Rosemary still lives quite a bit away from the cottage or else she might faint that I'm letting my daughter play with a goddamn bear.

I mean seriously. A bear. How did that even happen.

She tried to explain it, but she was halfway in-between sobbing and choking out apologies. I did my best to stay resolute and be strong, but that's when she said it.

"You aren't going to take me back," She sniffed. "Are you, Daddy?"

That's when I lost it. I just about cried on the spot. I sat down on the couch and held her in my arms.

"I would never take you back, Shy," I reassured my little filly. "I'm setting rules because I care about you, and I don't want to worry about losing you."

"I love you, Daddy," She choked out.

"I love you too, Fluttershy," I said in a calm tone, stroking her mane.

I'm so tired, we are both going to bed early tonight. She wants to sleep in my bed tonight. Honestly, I kind of want her too as well, for my own paranoia. I better not keep her waiting. I'll tell you about my failure of a date tomorrow morning.

Night, Journal.