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"ARE YOU INSANE!!!"

by Dontaskaboutit

Chapter 1: Can't decide.

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"Hell ya today is the day!". There I was yelling in my bathroom, excited as all hell. Today is the day of the anime convention around where I live and I was defiantly ready. I worked my ass off saving up for it, spent a lot on my cosplay, and got all my buddy's to come along with... *BANG BANG BANG *


"JOHN GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW, WE'RE READY TO GO!!!" ... speak of the demons.


"Just come in I'm almost done!" three seconds later I hear my door being opened then followed
by, what sounded like, a small bull stamped going threw my house.


"Hey John what's up!"


"Nothing much just putting on the finishing touches on my costume, how about you Josh, and what's with the German accent?"


"O, you vwill see!"


"OK ... you four are in my fridge aren't you?"


"You can only blame yourself!!!" said a voice with a crack at the end.


"We'll sorry you know how picky I am about details!" it was at this time i finished up and came out to see my ... very strange group of friends all different characters from a variety of franchises.


"I can tell." said Alec who was dressed in a butler outfit with VERY dark black hair that is mostly on his right side, two small chains that connected to his lower most left jacket pocket and button with one hanging lower than the other and he had red contacts that complemented his Sebastian Michaels cosplay very nicely along with the single lock of hair in front of his face.


"Same goes to you demon."


"Yeas, Yeas very good indeed." when I heard the thick (fake) German accent I looked to the right of Alec ... and almost died of laughter. There was Josh wearing a white suit with gloves, glasses, blonde hair, and had the biggest grin. He was a perfect Major.


“Hahahaha, it works so well, Ahahaha!” I thought his cosplay was just fantastic, but I then saw Jimmy… holy shit I think I’m going to bust a gut. No lie, he looked just like Scooter from Borderlands. Short hair, dirty mechanic cloths, everything. “Jim-Ji-Jimmy,are you- are you trying to kill me!” I say in between my giggling fit.


“Wha’dia mean? Really whatsta the difference between me know an what I look like daily?”


“It’s because my thoughts are now materialized into reality.” I say wiping the tear from left eye. I then glance over to chad wearing nice looking red suit with round glasses and a lizard's tail. “Shit dude, nice job on the Demiurge cosplay, you know I love Overlord.” I compliment him.


“Right back at you Shounen fanboy.” he replies with mischief in his voice.


“Oi! I’m not a Shonen fanboy, but I love this character too much not to cosplay as him!” I heft my jagged edged (fake) sword onto my right shoulder With a huge, excited grin on my face. As I do so the bells in my hair jingle as I shift under my black shihakusho and torn sleeveless white haori. I adjust the bandages underneath on my stomach. All while still trying to get used to the tabi, which are a lot more comfortable than I’m used to. I even had a fake scar on my left eye that looks so real. and I couldn’t be more proud of myself.


“But there is one problem with it… where’s the eye patch?” he asks pointing to his right eye.


I put my hand up to my right eye… I forgot the god damn eyepatch… “Dammit!” I yell feeling more and more pissed by the second.


Josh saved the day though, “Calm down dear friend, Imz sure they havez at least one at der convention.” I just grumble to myself. Also when did he get so good at that character?


“Fine.”


Alec got into character real quick, “Then shall we get going, if we dilly dally here any longer we will miss out on all the goods being sold.” he put his arm across his abdomen and bowed. “Right this way please.” Chad joined him on the bow as well.


I smile at that and jimmy thought it was a golden opportunity to get into character too, “CATCHA RIIIIIIIDE!!!” making us all burst out laughing.


Damn this has been fun. We mostly just spent most of the day taking pictures with other cosplayers, random people, even ran into some other friends, ate, joked around, and even went and bought some stuff. Well everyone else bought some stuff, I just want to wait before we leave to shop around, I’m lazy like that. Which is around this time since it’s closing in an hour.


“Oi, guys I’m going to going do some rounds and finally buy some shit, I’ll meet you back at jimmy's truck, alright?” I tell them, with Alec taking a picture with some girls because he is sebastian and that’s what happens.


“Just make sure you’re there within the hour, I ain’t waitin for you for too long yahere?” Jimmy tells me, giving me a smile again because of how much he is like Scooter, I still can’t get over it.


I start walking away waving my hand in the air, “Ya, ya, I know MOM!” Josh laughed at that.


So here I am walking around and checking out the stalls, I see some cool stuff, but nothing really catching my eye. Eye… I forgot about the eye patch. “Well I know what I’m getting first.” I say out loud.


I’ve checked about every stall bleach related, and I havn’t found a single eyepatch for Kenpachi, you gotta be kidding me! *sigh* what time is it… shit I’ve only got fifteen minutes! I’m not leaving here without that eye patch! I start scanning the stalls from a distance, I have pretty good eyes, grr can’t see anything even remotely related, and what’s tugging on my haori? I turn around and see some guy in a damn good Resident Evil Merchant cosplay, hell even his eyes look cool as well, are they some kind of contacts or something. He let’s go of my clothes and take’s a few steps back, looking pleased he got my attention, I think, hard to tell with the get up. “Yo.” I greet him.


He put his hands together, “Hello stranger.” damn, voice on point too, props to you dude, “I see you are lookin for some ware’s there, wadda ya buyin? Does have something to do with your outfit? I see you are missing a key component.” he points to my right eye, being bare and patchless.


I smile, “Ya I am, but I can’t seem to find an eyepatch anywhere here, it’s actually pissing me off a little.” I tell him with some irk in my voice.


He chuckles a little, “Fear not, dear captain, follow me, i think I have the ware’s you speak of.” he gestures me to follow him to some table with green cloth on it, having all sorts of random junk on them. Ok, I have some serious red flags going off in my head right now, this guy seems… I don’t know, mischievous maybe? Untrustworthy? I’m not sure, but he says he might have what I need.. damn it greed, you win over instinct yet again.


I walk over to the table and look over what’s on the table while the guy fumbles with something underneath the table. There is quite a variety here, and it all looks to be of good quality. He even has a Yachiru doll too. My little niece would love this! He seemed to have found what he was looking for and came back up.


“Is this whatcha lookin for?” he holds out a perfect replica of Kenpachi’s eyepatch, even looks to be some kind of high quality leather! But it seems almost too perfect, “I really want this, but what’s the catch? You're not going to abduct me or something?” I ask him with a very questioning tone and look.


“You’re talking about the disappearances at the cons as of the past few years aincha? Boy I may be a great actor, but I’m not young enough to take on some young spark like you, stranger. Now, the price for this is fifty bucks, whaddya say, you buyin?”


I take a look into his eyes, “How much for the Yachiru doll as well?”


He looked down at the table and saw the doll, right next to a replica of the alicorn amulet from My Little Pony… what, I have a niece you know. “Heh, forgot I even had that, just take it, I don’t want it.” he picked up the doll and handed it to me.


“Hmm, alright then…” I’m still feeling on edge with this guy, but I think that’s just my paranoia of anyone I don’t know kicking in, I hand him the fifty bucks and take the eye patch. I was about to walk away, only having little under a minute to leave before he stops me.


“Hey, if you wouldn’t mind, could you put on the eye patch before you go, I like you outfit and would love to see it complete.” he asks me, sounding very genuine.


I sigh and turn back around, “Sure, why not.” I put the little Yachiru doll on my shoulder, and i start putting on the eyepatch, but something feels off with in on… I feel weaker, so much so I can’t hold myself up, “Wh-what’s happening?!?!” The world around me started to fade away, like some sort of black fog forming around me, I hear the Merchant laughing slightly, I look up and see him waving at me before everything faded to black.


“Farewell stranger.”


“K- an!”


“Ken--an!”


Ugh, who is that?


“K-n-chan!”


A little girl? I think so, but who is she talking to?


“Ken-chan!”


I feel something on top of me, ugh what happened, what the hell did that merchant do? I should sit up a little. I do so, but instantly get pushed back down a little by someone.


“Ken-chan you're awake!” the one hugging me exclaims, right in my ear.


I open my eyes and push this little girl away slightly, “What?” It’s Yachiru, it’s actually Yachiru. Little girl, pink hair, lieutenant outfit and all. I look around me to see I’m in a clearing within some forest, my sword is in the ground, tip down, next to my head. What’s going on, where am I, why is she so close to my face?


She looks worried, “Are you okay Ken-chan?” ok I should be worried that there is some little girl, sitting on top of my chest, close to my face, and roleplaying, but something inside me told me this was alright and that I know her.


“I’m fine Yachiru, what about you, what’s with my voice!” it’s deeper, and it sounds just like Kenpachi.


“I’m ok ken-chan, and what do you mean? You sound like you!” she giggles cutely before getting off me, allowing me to stand up, and holy hell am I taller! I was six foot, but now I’m probably around six seven and a half, maybe even six eight! My body is also a lot bulkier too, but it feels much easier to move as well. What the hell is going on? I hear some growling and look around, seeing green sickly eyes in the foliage.


Yachiru jumped on my left shoulder, “Ooh, looks like there is some competition Ken-chan, should be a fun exercise!” she exclaimed cutely, after that some kind of… things, wolves maybe? I don’t know, because wolves aren't typically MADE OF WOOD! They start coming out of the brush, there is seven of them all circling around me.


Ok normally I would be freaking out right now since I’m about to get mauled by some fantasy beasts made of timber, but I’m not. I actually feel a little excited. I reach out to my right and pull my zanpakuto out of the ground and feel a surge of adrenaline thrash through me. “Let’s go!”


Two of the wolve’s jump at me from the right, so I reacted, and quicker than I thought possible, I cleaved both in half, sending the pieces flying across the clearing. Another one tries from the left but my reaction time was impeccable as I snatch it out of the air by its upper jaw and send it hurdling into the wooden wolf directly behind me. The last o0ne reached as soon as I released the one wolf, and I couldn’t react quick enough to catch it or block it with my sword, so I blocked it with my left arm… and it did nothing to hurt me. It’s teeth didn't puncture my skin, and I kick it so hard it hurdled towards a tree and shattered on impact.


I feel Yachiru slouch and pout on my shoulder, “Well that wasn’t any fun!” damn is she cute when she pouts.


“Yea it was, let’s find somewhere to stay shall we?” I turn around and start walking away and the clearing start forming some kind of green mist. Wood flies past me, almost hitting my head.


“Ken-chan look!”


I turn around and see a giant version of the things I just fought, standing about eight feet tall on all fours. Again I should be scared, but all I can do it smile. “Let’s see if you are any stronger than the others!” I charge at the beast, and it did so in return, and quicker than I wanted it to, the fight was over as the thing shattered in one hit. I look up at the sky, “*sigh* That was disappointing.”


“Yea… I guess we should find some shelter huh?”


I nod and start walking in some random direction.


I hear a gurgling noise from my left, “Ken-chan I’m hungry.” Yachiru wines in her adorable nature.


Not to far away a zebra watch from some bushes as some weird creatures left a clearing in the Everfree after the bigger one destroyed an entire pack of timberwolves and an alpha wolf.

“An intriguing one, you are, and in the future you will not be far. But until that day comes, may the skies watch you and the little one.”

Author's Notes:

And down the rabbit hole I go.

Next Chapter: Let's Fight! Estimated time remaining: 49 Minutes
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"ARE YOU INSANE!!!"

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