"It was interesting." I let the hot water drip over my scarred skin. "I mean, just the way you had to operate it." I took a deep breath, steam and hot air rushing towards me as I drew in. Celestia sat across from me, joining me in the massive tub that spanned half the room. "I remember being jammed up in a tree with my legs scrunched up, and they told me to peg a target half a mile out in a snowstorm." I refilled my bucket with the warm water. "And I mean, I did it." I poured more water over my head and down across my shoulders. "What else was I going to do?"

Celestia nodded slowly. "Is that what you were carrying?"

I rubbed my arm, a deep gash only recently healed was still tender and pained. "My rifle? The soviet? No, no. Hell, that wasn't even my standard rifle." I rubbed the back of my neck. "That was what I had when I started. Back when I lived in Ontario." I shook my head. "Do you even know what it is? Do you know what it does?"

Celestia shook her head gently, mane weight down with water. "I can't say that I do."

I huffed softly and rubbed my face. "Why exactly did you--"

"To keep you company, to help you feel at ease. I did the same for my other pupils." She smiled at me. "And because why not? You seemed fine shedding clothes around me."

I pointed my hand out towards her. "You're a horse. Why would it be weird?" I slapped myself across the forehead. "I mean, it can't get weirder. And there's nothing there that I haven't seen on you, and again, you're a horse."

Celestia stared at me. "I'm still a pony. A-- sorry, provincial terminology. I'm still a person, no?"

I rubbed my eyes. "No-- I-- Look, don't make this weird."

Celestia shook her head. "I'm not. But I've met other species who wear clothes, and they seem to value modesty quite a bit."

I leaned against the wall of the tub, my ass starting to hurt from the hard stone seat underwater. "It's more about not freezing to death. But if you were a real lady, I probably--"

Celestia tapped her hoof on the stone side of the tub. "Not a lady? What exactly makes me not a lady?"

I put my hands up. "Being a horse."

Celestia cocked an eyebrow. "That simple?"

"Yeah." I stood up and floated the bucket across the tub. "Again, I'm a soldier. Terms will be quick, simple, and vulgar." I stretched my neck until it cracked. "Like that fucking thing." I pointed to the bucket. "Or that fucking thing." I pointed to the water spout. "They're all fucking things."

Celestia's lip quivered. "Hmm. Maybe a bit more description would help."

"Missing the fucking point." I scratched my head. "Now I can hear it every time I say it." I let out a tired groan and stood up, standing before Celestia who remained resting in the tub. The air was warm, but the deep chill the difference in temperature caused was rather uncomfortable. "Anyways, the rifle. You know what it is?"

Celestia stood up and forced water out of her mane with her magic. The loud trickle shook my bones and sent a tingle into the muscles in my back. "It's a weapon I take it?"

"The great equalizer." I let out a tired huff and flopped my arms against my sides. "Turning poor kids from the ice into husks fighting for days at a time." I rubbed my eyes. "God I'm so tired." I laughed jankily. "I can't remember the last time I slept."

Celestia stepped out of the tub, shaking off her fetlocks before walking over to me. "Battles?"

I shook my head. "The sieges were worse."

Celestia nodded and walked past me. "They always are. So much more smoke and fire."

I licked my lips. "No--no no the noise is the worst." I followed her as she walked towards a small cabinet. "The noise is always the worst."

Celestia sighed loudly. "Hmm, differences in opinions." She opened the cabinet and levitated out a pair of towels, sending one to me. "So, single kills? You were an assassin?"

I frowned hard and slung the towel over my shoulder. "Marksman. It's a bit different." I rubbed my eyes. "I only ever assassinated one person, and even then it was through a tank." I rubbed my cheek, my beard extremely rough. "Never even saw him directly."

Celestia put her towel over her back like a saddle blanket. "I understand." She nodded a few times, bouncing her head like a horse. She laughed gently. "You know, not many of my subjects even know I've killed."

I turned to her with a quick swivel of my right foot. "Then why tell me?"

Celestia smiled at me. "Because not many would understand what I've done, or the reasons. It's been a century since we had a major war, and even longer since we had something on the scale that you're projecting." She smiled and turned to the door. "And who would believe you speaking out against me? Calling me a murderer. Nopony would believe you."

I rubbed my chest. "Murder? It's not really murder if it's--"

"Simply using an example." She frowned hard and hung her head low. "But you're right. There's something different in war, lives feel lighter." She shook her head. "Numbers. Ponies reduced to numbers. I think that is the point where I was the most violent."

I shook my head ever so gently. "Because they're not people, they're numbers. They're--"

Celestia tapped her hoof against the ground. "No.... For me, thinking like that felt horrid. And at that point I just wanted it to be over. She shook her head hard. "The sooner it was over, the sooner I could think of them like I did once before."

I flinched away and took the towel off my shoulder. "You were command, weren't you?"

Celestia nodded and walked up to me. "I was. I was recently appointed princess, and young enough to take up the offer to lead."

I rubbed my mouth. "I was rank and file. Then I was just let loose. They gave me jobs they wanted done, some times I had a team, some times it was just me." I scratched my head. "They never really deserve it."

Celestia took my towel from me and started to dry off my hair. "It's a terrible thing. A truly terrible thing." Her voice peeked towards the tail end of her words.

I had completely expected her to continue talking. "Did I hit a nerve." I yanked the towel away from her.

Celestia frowned softly and turned away from me. "To some extent." She pulled in a long breath. "How many have you killed?"

I shook my head. "They didn't tell me how big the city was." I started to dry off with the soft towel. "Hundred thousand?"

Celestia's face twitched. "That many?"

"Bomb." I rubbed my arm, the creeping pain starting at my fingertips had started to crawl up my arm again. "Why? That a high number?"

Celestia lowered her head. "Personally my numbers are rather low. As a head of state-- I'd rather not think about it." She jammed her eyes shut and turned away. "Generally speaking I like to think it was for the greater good."

"That's a dangerous game." I finished drying off and turned to face her. "How many have to die before it starts to overshadow the message?"

Celestia turned to me with an absolutely muted expression. "How big is the message? How many lives depend on it?"

I bit my lip. "Best answer you could have given me." I rubbed my right hand, the middle finger missing. "Fight for the people you care about, not against anyone."

Celestia turned her head softly. She smiled kindly and nodded. "Indeed."

I took a deep breath and turned to the door. "I'm stuck here, aren't I?" I turned back to Celestia. "We're not in public, don't lie to me."

Celestia's eyes jammed shut. She stayed dipped down for a few moments before coming back up. "My guards found a book in your pack." Celestia smiled at me. "She's beautiful."

I nodded my chin briskly. "She's gone now, isn't she?" I felt my skin crawl. "...I need to get some god damn sleep."

Celestia slowly walked up to my side. "I'll show you to a room. We can talk more tomorrow." Celestia cupped me in her wing again and walked me out into the hall. "Is she safe? Will she be okay without you?"

I felt my heart jump. "Yeah-- Yeah she'll be fine." I tugged my mouth. "I didn't expect to come back from the fighting anyways." I ran my fingers through my hair. "She's safe. Maybe not gonna be too happy with me, but she'll...." I felt a smile come over my face. "She'll be okay." I rubbed my chest. "I think.... I think the people I fought for are gonna be okay." I forced myself to stop smiling as soon as I realized I had. "God I hope they're okay." Next Chapter: Night Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 49 Minutes