As far as I was concerned about tonight, there was no continuing on. A lot of what had just happened had me unprepared in every sense of the word. There was no trying to salvage the night for the sake of conversing with a few connections for the sake of my investigation, not when I was clearly being threatened. So without question, I elected to return home until I could get my mind warped around the fact that I may be crossing several lines of no return.

After I had calmed down for a bit, Blue came back with Kalimba standing beside her. The young zebra didn't shy away from me after what happened. In fact, she actually seemed to be a little docile, clingy even. She didn't seem to like our current circumstances any better than I did, and was more than happy to accommodate with my selfish request of a tactical withdrawal. Hell, I'm sure with him knowing her, she'd be ecstatic to sneak out the back door. Alabaster kept himself distanced from me for a while until he notified some of the servers that he'd be retiring for the night, using the secret access as an exit.

He called it 'Protocol Eight'. Blue called it 'Get me the fuck out of here.'

We made our way through the club, reaching the end of the hall where the the press boxes were situated. As soon as we came to the exit, I couldn't help but to stare at the fact that it was just the janitor's closet. But they had a different system that rivaled that of the royals' underground hideout. All they had to do was move the mop to a certain spot, tilt the mop bucket over, tap the broom against the wall three times, reset the mop bucket against the wall, and pull the lever that was used to wring the mop out into the bucket. After that confusing and cumbersome ritual, the door was closed and a seal appeared on the door's center. The door was opened once more, revealing something other than a maintenance closet.

A dark cavern with numerous crystals and gems lined the walls of the ancient hallway that lead to the abandoned mines below the city. The air wasn't nearly as magical as the appearance would heavily imply. From there, the four of us settled onward.

Both Alabaster and Blue took lead while Kalimba carefully looked around every corner to see if we were being followed. And when she confirmed that there were no eavesdroppers, she galloped back to my side before matching my every step. The mare quietly got closer and closer until she lightly brushed her flank against mine. I glanced over to see her stoic face bat an eye to me before focusing on the paths ahead.

When my eyes realigned with the direction I headed towards, I saw Alabaster taking a peek at me, bashfully looking away as soon as he saw me looking back. Of course he pretended he wasn't looking at me, but even his sister gave him a nudge to tell him to pay attention to what was ahead.

I closed my eyes and finally broke the long and awkward silence taking place throughout the group. "So... I'm curious as to know how the two of you initially found out about me."

Blue rolled her eyes as she pointed at her older brother to take point. "Do you really have to ask that right now?"

"I mean, I would like to know why I'm walking in a party of four where all three others seemed to have some interest of sorts. I'm nothing special."

The blue mare quietly murmured to herself as her ears reddened, she was obviously flustered. "...There might've been a picture of you walking around with shorts on."

"Ah, that one." I almost forgot about that little fiasco. "It didn't occur to me that Rarity had initially made me some shorts that were a tad bit too short for my liking. Apparently you ponies have a clothing fetish. My walking around with shorts showing my trimming thighs would do a lot of that for much older women of my species trying to get me to clean their pool before they pick up their kids from school and their husband of twenty years gets off of work."

"That's a fairly specific scenario." Blue replied.

"Happens to be a porn fantasy for many middle-aged women. Always wanting to be the first to teach a young strapping male how to use his... *ahem* equipment."

Kalimba brushed against me once more. "Hmm, you seem to know enough about what you are doing, dat much was brought to all of our viewing."

"Also got his attention too." Blue added, causing me to separate myself from Kalimba instinctively.

"What's with that Umbra guy?" I asked, shuddering at the thought that my tongue dared to move enough to pronounce his name. "I can tell he's bad news with how he talks to everyone, but what exactly is his damage?"

"His damage?" Alabaster looked back at me, unsure as to how to answer my question.

"His whole deal, how he approaches things, the one quirk that makes him dangerous." I simplified.

The group fell silent, almost as if all three of them started contemplating on the things that made him such a threat. It was telling when even Kalimba starts to slow her pace. She instantly shifted her head to see if anyone was following us. She whispered in a cautious voice. "Dere is a reason why dey call him 'Doctor'. And it's not from some degree he earned."

Ah, so that's the infamous doctor I've heard that the others didn't like talking about. I can see why now. "Is it because he directs everyone on what to do and where to go?"

Kalimba then replied. "Dere is a reason why all de names of de VIP members are instantly disclosed upon entry."

"If someone does something wrong. He knows exactly who to seek out. Then he'll call his meeting, and that's when the madness begins." Alabaster explained.

"Like what?" I asked.

"So I'll say this as a warning so you don't have to find out the hard way. If he ever challenges you to a duel, his champion against yours, you will resign before the match even begins." Blue replied with an icy tone. "You won't win. Bottom line."

"How so?" I asked. "His champion's that powerful?"

"They don't call him 'The Doctor' for nothing. His very existence is what you guys in the guard would classify as a Level 9 threat."

I stopped walking for a second, processing what was said. I even took a moment to think about Chrysalis, she was supposedly a Level 8 threat, one who successfully brought Celestia herself down to her knees at a certain point. I was dealing with a being that could summon creatures from various dimensions, take the shape of anyone and anything, blasting a hole in anyone's chest, has an army of over tens of thousands of minions at her disposal with countless others lying in wait, commands memory-altering spells, and she has mind-control magic as a fall-back option. All of those things nearly won her the seat of the Canterlot Throne.

How the hell is this guy any more dangerous than THAT!? "I know he's bad news, but I seriously doubt he's that high of a threat. If he was, Twilight would know about it and take care of it personally. It may be far-fetched to think that she could do it, but I've seen her do some pretty ballsy shit."

"You remember Prod, correct?" Kalimba asked.

"So what, he's dead." I replied with a shrug. "I even did you the honor of offing that asshole yourself."

"Do you remember the assassin that was sent to kill you?" Blue questioned.

"He's dead too." I replied dismissively.

"How about my father?" Alabaster inquired.

I started looking at the three with unease. "...Okay, I'm starting to see a trend. What's with all the dead guys?"

Alabaster continued to look out for what was ahead as he explained. "Remember when I told you that it would be easier if you just went along with what he wanted to do? Well that wasn't just to save your life. I'm sure your family would be horrified if they saw what he would do to you for outright refusing him in front of the others. Even tonight, you saw how he tormented Blue."

The young unicorn clutched onto herself, shivering at the thought of his lips being inches away from her ear. "He plants memories of the deceased into your brain. The only thing you're even able to do is allow for them to consume your thoughts after so long. He plays literal mind games with you, feeding on those who hurt you the most, who caused you immense grief, and he does it for laughs. That kiss he gave you earlier, that wasn't just him looking for some way of getting a taste of what you're capable of. That's how he initializes his curse on you, it's a distraction. And the catalyst for the spell is simply the DNA of whomever he wishes to know about."

"So he's like a voodoo shaman?" I asked.

"A dark zebra enchantment dat is often considered taboo. In usual circumstances it comes in de form of a sickly brew. However he keeps many of de required items in his mouth, just for when it is time for him to bring de curse about. And as much as I wish dat it was untrue, de same method has found it's way onto you." Kalimba answered.

I instinctively placed my fingers on my lips, wiping them and then smelling if there was anything unusual scent. "Why a kiss?"

A small troop of guards numbering at least forty had gathered around one of the entrances of the Corrotto District, namely the main street that lead from the gates of South Canterlot High School. The guards stood silently, as proud as they would in the presence of their two officers. A mare donning silver armor walked to the forefront and announced to the group. "Stand fast! We will not show any faltering!"

The princess who led the group gazed across at an angry crowd that started to plug the entrance with wooden boards for shields and an assortment of swords─some blades being intentionally damaged that they'd resembled serrated edges, bats, boards, pipes, and molotov cocktails. The denizens of the city's underworld rallied in defense of their exotic outlet. Even a few guild members stood on the sidelines, ready to strike at a moment's notice. They shouted a number of obscenities at the princess while smacking their weapons on their improvised shields.

While one group appeared to be as disorderly and chaotic as a horde of barbarians, the other group stood motionless and disciplined. The lieutenant stood by her princess, standing with her spear aimed forward to defend her princess. The other party had no such figure to defend their leader as he walked to the forefront of the barely organized formation. He walked forward, twirling his cane as he bobbed his head back and forth, humming a merry tune, smiling nonchalantly while he got even closer. The mare thrusted her spear shy of the stallion's neck as she commanded him violently. "Make way or you will be forced to answer to pain!"

The stallion smiled in response, looking down to the spearhead and then back to the mare before him. One of the bandits called out from behind him. "Hey boys, check it out! When did the guard start putting eye candy on the field!?"

"Bitch don't know what she's doing! Put her in a brothel!"

"Hey, I got a shaft she can hold!" The crowd started to laugh while the armored mare grew incensed with their taunts. Without fail, she stood forward and challenged the crowd behind the flamboyant stallion.

"How about I shove this down your throat!?" She hollered.

"I got something warm to shove down your throat!" Another voice rang out before wave of laughter ensued on one side.

"Plenty to swallow too!" Umbra replied happily, with absolutely no regard to the blade pointed at his neck. The crowd let out a celebratory 'AAYYYY!' before the mare started to closed the distance between her spearhead and his neck, the point of it's blade starting to dig against his skin.

"I will cut you where you stand!" The mare hissed through her teeth.

The stallion smiled as he tilted his head. "Oh come now, it's just a little fun with the boys."

"Well playtime is over." Celestia announced, standing behind her guard. "Now tell your 'boys' to stand down before I make them stand down."

"Ah, stern as ever, princess." Umbra said with a shrug, taking a step back to remove his neck from the spear against it. "Though I will have to say that this one you have here is just as dry-humored as you are. Do you not have friends?"

The armored lieutenant reintroduced the spear to his neck. "Her private relationships are of no importance or any availability to you. Back off."

The stallion rolled his eyes. "Ugh, always with you loyalist lapdogs. Can you at least show some semblance of a smile when one's thrown at you?"

Celestia then walked forward, advancing no further than the length of the lieutenant's spear and announced to the crowd loudly. "We have reason to believe that you have harbored a dangerous beast within this quadrant of the city, an Arimaspi to be more precise! And as these creatures are deadly and a threat to the populace, I am hereby placing this district under restriction until a method of disposal has been achieved! So you are to stand by and allow us passage to deal with the corresponding threat accordingly! I order you to return to your homes until we have finished our duties!"

The opposing crowd booed loudly, calling the princess an assortment of names. Umbra raised his hoof to silence the residential bandits. The stallion started to pivot back and forth, tugging against his blazer as he spoke. "I'm sure your majesty has been made aware that a municipal report has to be filed from within the district and passed by the district's city council representative to produce a warrant of seizure given our special jurisdiction. Furthermore, in producing this warrant, you are also agreeing to maintaining the health and safety of the citizens within this district. Without a warrant of those specific parameters, then in accordance of Code 231 Section 3F, the citizenry are allowed to manifest a militia for the protection of our homestead against unlawful and unwarranted search, seizure, and blockade. Therefore, we request that you procure this warrant, signed and sealed by our district's representative."

Celestia didn't mince her words. "As I warned you and your so-called militia, I will either conduct a peaceful search, or we will conduct this search by any means necessary. And if that is by force, then I will have no qualms in doing so." She then summoned a sealed scroll and surrendered it to the stallion before her using only her magic.

He broke the wax seal and started reading the warrant to himself. After a few seconds of silence, he nodded slowly and smiled. "I have to admit, I never took you as one who would try to bend the rules!" He replied loudly for his entourage to hear. "According to the signature, it says here that the warrant is for a seizure of an illegal asset proven to be a danger to the residency. However there are three things wrong with your injunction. The first is that it has to be a PROVEN threat to the residential area, the residents of our esteemed capital has apprehended into submission the beast of your inquiry. The second is that this warrant comes with a notary seal but no seal from this district appears on here, so this warrant is moot." He then ripped the scroll into pieces before the princess' eyes. The crowd of bandits cheered in celebration before Umbra silenced them once more to finish. "And lastly, don't you think it's a bit odd that you would choose this night above all others to interfere? Perhaps as if you have some vested interest in what takes place here."

The princess remained stoic, replying to the smirking stallion. "I'm sure you must know that all of my citizens are my vested interest. They couldn't be anything less."

The crowd that once cried out cheers were jeering out boos to the princess' reasoning. Umbra took notice of that and made it his advantage. "Hey boys, has Celestia ever graced our loving community with her presence in the past five years with her sweet words of care and wisdom?"

"NO!" The crowd shouted loudly.

Umbra turned to the crowd and directly spoke to them. "Has she ever thought of providing stimulus to our communities and increasing the property value of our estates?" The same answer was shouted with emphasis. "Has she ever advocated for our plumbing, our lighting, or our schools?" The answer remained, but even louder than the previous. "Look ahead, see that school? That's the school that we low-enders call our own. Do you notice how rusty it's gates have gotten, how the cracks have started to reveal the rebar within the concrete, how the brown tinges flaws the image of it's cream colored facade? How often has money gone the higher classes as opposed to the three districts sitting on the outside? Do you all notice how low our walls are? Where are OUR protections? Invested to the mid-tiers, the high-tiers, the keep of the castle? And we get a measly trickle-down, an impotent amount to the grandeur that is the rest of the city. Tell me, is that fair to you!?"

"HELL NO!" By that point, the crowd started to evolve into a complete roar, many of the unruly defenders getting energized for a bloody fight.

Celestia tried to negotiate with the citizens. "Hear me, Citizens of Corrotto!"

The stallion tilted his head towards the princess, almost as if he was laughing. "Oh don't worry about them, they're just ready for a little entertainment is all. You should really try and come back later when things aren't so... charged."

The princess started to declare her statement when a small stone was pelted at her. Using her magic to deflect the blow, she noticed that others started to join in. The lieutenant raised a shield to protect the princess before another magic bolt came barreling at it. In an instant, the shield she provided was shattered like fragmented glass. For the instant they were open, she jumped before the princess, taking a few sizable stones to her person. The armor did a lot to protect her, but her size wasn't enough to guard the princess from a stray blow. The entire guard platoon rushed in to circle around their princess, some standing on top of one another to protect her.

The one that hit her had boasted on his aim. He shouted triumphantly. "Hear that, you stuck up bitch!"

Without blinking, she dismissed her guard aside. Many of them refused out of their loyalty. She requested that they moved out of the way so she could seek out the one who bragged on their accuracy. Within an instant, it appeared that the entire front line was moved aside, every guard pushed out of the way, including the lieutenant who strove to protect her. The princess stepped forward and singled out the one who hit her, teleporting directly in front of him. Caught by surprise, the stallion started to back away, but found his hooves locked in place. A soft breeze of wind blew past him and he froze in place. The princess parted her opposition as if she were moving foals from out of harms way. As she walked back to her front line, the stallion fell over, his head rolling after her some feet before pivoting to a stop."

Umbra shrugged his shoulders. "Well to be fair, he hit you first. So that's fair game. I take it that will be all for your most unusual visit."

In her Royal Canterlot Voice, she called out to the opposing force. "LISTEN WELL, ALL OF YOU! If I receive any word that this creature brings harm to anyone outside of this jurisdiction, be they resident, visitor, tourist, whatever, I will sack this place." Celestia violently warned with her victim's head being placed before her. "This one has played a terrible game, and the law is laid where any who brings harm to me, my sister, any royal family member, may face execution. I have tried to be fair, I have asked for your cooperation, and I have tried to remain civil. That is done now that I have been struck. So you all will comply, those who resist will answer to force."

Umbra dismissively denied her order. "Oh please, nopony's scared of a little scrum. It's just another Tuesday night for these guys." He then crept a cheesy grin of malevolence to the princess. "So why don't you shack up with your secret suitor and keep your nose out of our business, deal?"

Many of the guards' eyes bulged at the thought of the princess being appealed to. Each one of them, including Solemn Oath, turned to the princess. The high royal didn't even seem to budge. Umbra pressured her further.

"I know who he is, and I just saw him earlier today. Fairly good kisser, I'm sure you know from personal experience."

Meanwhile in the abandoned Canterlot Gem Mines...

"You may not believe it, but he did the same to my father." Alabaster further explained. "My father was staunch against homosexuality, he even believed it was something that could be legally outlawed. But of course the old man had some serious dark marks in his past that allowed for some blackmailing to take place. A politician who did what he could to cover his past, dust his tracks, even change his name, who could hire anyone to take the fall or do the deed on the taxpayers' bits, but had a family history involving the mysterious suicide of his wife and a few stories of some maids he slept around with, rumors of his doings as a professor... all of it lined up perfectly for Umbra. He vowed to protect my father's secrets, preserving his career. But it was all for the low price of absolute loyalty, that and a simple kiss."

Blue then added. "That kiss tells him everything he wants to know about you. He can even find where your loved ones are buried. And that's where the games begin. Just from that one kiss, he knows you, everyone around you, where you're from, who's closest to you, all of it."

...That might mean trouble. "Does that include relationships?"

"All. Things." Alabaster warned.

That means everything between me and Celestia is out there.

"To be fair, I believe dere is some drawback to his trick. It is merely a shot in de dark, but if I'm right, it could be a weak point we can hit." Kalimba suggested, getting all three of our attention.

While much of my mind was focused on the possibility of him knowing about my secret relationship with a certain princess, I was open to her suggestion. "So what do you think we should do next?"

Kalimba shrugged. "We make our next move. Continue on as normal, make de moves he'll likely predict, den reconvene for a change in plans. From dere, we continue to play around de idea of what he knows and subvert his expectations. Dat is about de best I can think of for now."

The two siblings glanced to one another and then back to me. "Well she's gotten farther than we would've suggested." Blue replied.

"A tactical thinker... Nondis, how did you find her?" Alabaster questioned.

"Back alley, couldn't get a member from the guild, she offered her services. Rest is history." I said glancing to the zebracorn. "I honestly didn't take her for the thinker she is, more of the fighter I saw her as."

"You should've known dat when I told you how to rile Prod into taking our bait." She said with a quiet hum, brushing her flank against mine again. "Living on dese streets teaches you to think on your hooves. One wrong move or answer, and you die."

Blue glanced forward, quickly taking lead. "The junction should be just ahead. We should get moving." I also noticed that her way of speaking was faster and had a harsher tone.

Alabaster didn't even get close to his sister, just glanced at me and rolled his eyes. As we continued on, he quietly murmured. "You know, she's always been the personality that likes attention."

"You think so?" I asked.

Without warning, I was teleported up front. I looked over to see Blue brushing her flank against mine, but also coiling her tail around mine as we walked. "You should remember who the client is here. Now try to keep your eyes peeled." She said while undercutting my chin with her muzzle. The mare turned back to see a disapproving Kalimba and shrugged. "Sorry, mind if I take this one since you had him all night?"

"You make it as if I have something to be jealous for." The zebracorn responded begrudgingly. "He's all yours."

"Great." Blue replied.

"Besides, we already gave you a show." The zebra replied with a proud strut.

...I think I hear the sound of two cats hissing in a back alley.

Streets of Canterlot
Five Minutes Later...

"What do you mean 'withdraw'!?" The regiment all stood quietly as they appeared as confused and perplexed as their lieutenant. Solemn Oath continued to hold her spear outward to the stallion's neck as she questioned the decision of her princess. "Your highness, he tore apart a search warrant. We should be pursuing this as an act of self-incrimination. All we have to do is search the area and─"

"I shouldn't have to say it again. Withdraw." The princess sternly ordered without so much of a muscle moving on her face.

The guards started to look among themselves and quietly think to themselves of the threat Umbra posed to the princess. Solemn Oath continued to plead with her princess. "Your highness, I know he is bluffing. We can make our move to clean Canterlot here and now! All you have to do is give us the order and we'll do it."

"I gave you an order already." Celestia replied, turning her back on the belligerent crowd. "The warrant was unsatisfactory to commence to a search, so we are to withdraw for now."

"Your highness, please─"

"My orders are final." Celestia stressed once more, walking away from the front line.

As she walked, the rowdy crowd all cheered and mocked the princess with laughs and several explicit jokes indicting her of an adulterous relationship. The princess held her tongue, already looking at the scene around her. As the crowd started to thin down a bit, Umbra walked over to her, almost ghosting past her lieutenant. "I promise, as long as he plays by the rules, nothing bad happens. But if he tries a move, you'll know what to expect."

Celestia's eyes narrowed for a brief moment, she simply closed them and disallowed anyone to see the anger welling within them. "I have no such suitor. Every stallion who comes near me knows the consequence." She turned back with a fake smile, pretending to laugh at herself. "After all, who would even try to settle for an old hag like myself?"

Solemn tried to swing her spear at the stallion, who easily blocked it with his cane. "Miss guard lady, I mean the princess no harm. Just keep that in mind. I want nothing more than to see her safe and sound. She is the ruler of our nation anyhow." He turned to the princess one more time and bowed his head with a smirk. "Your highness, thank you for your understanding. Do come again, but as a patron this time."

Without so much of a flash of magic, he suddenly stood at the end of the alleyway leading to Canterrot. The stallion waved and walked off with his army of brutes. The guards stood quietly as the princess allowed them to depart. The only thing that seemed to remain as evidence of the encounter was the body laying in the alleyway, the blood trailing from the dirtied path, and the head of the one stallion who brought bodily harm to the princess. The princess took a gander at the eyes of her victim, acknowledging that he was long gone. She muttered to herself. "It came out again."

The lieutenant approached from the side, looking down to the departed victim. "Your highness should've allowed me to dispose of such an insolence. At least your captain should've been here to take the brunt of the blows aimed for you. His not being here is nothing short of dishonorable."

"Solemn Oath, he is my captain because he is efficient at his work. Our differences aside, I do not cast away his strengths. If his shift ends at a certain time and he leaves for his home world, then it is what it is." The princess replied.

"All I'm saying is that he should take his role seriously. Standing by for a moment's notice is the hallmark of the job."

"I know you're upset you didn't get the position. But you are still as valuable to me as any other." Celestia argued quietly. "And as such, I cannot allow the weight of something like this to fall upon you. Taking the life of a citizen is not something that is taken lightly. I am more saddened that it had to end like this. But I am relieved in seeing that there is only one body to clean after. Cold to think about, I know... But I do not want a war in our streets."

The princess flagged down two of her guards and pointed to the body left behind. The princess walked back to the small platoon and started issuing more of her orders. Solemn glanced back to the alleyway and whispered to herself.

"A suitor, for Princess Celestia? There's no way..."

In a nearby alleyway next to the school, a dim flash of light quickly sliced down the middle of a brick wall. The bricks started to quietly flush into the wall and pull themselves aside to reveal a doorway. Upon revealing itself, the four of us were left looking at a darkened corridor behind us. The four of us stepped out and took notice of the border wall surrounding the school. I especially noticed that we were just a few yards away from the main street that lead us back into the more normal parts of civilization, but the only thing that blocked our path was the sight of several boxes clogging up the alley. Alabaster walked up to the boxes and informed me of their intent.

"Don't be too alarmed about the cargo. It's a facade. It's mainly to keep them from looking over here while we make our way out. They don't know it's just an illusion, but we do."

"How does it work?" I asked.

"It's a series of enchantments, akin to a doorway being hidden in a tree's trunk. Even though there are some real boxes chocking up the access, the fake ones are lined up in the middle to make it appear that this is a no-access area. Just far ahead leads to another backway intersection." Blue added as she walked beside me. "You remember that one alleyway you and your hussy friend got caught meeting up at?"

I rolled my eyes at the fact that she had just called Celestia a hussy. "Let me guess, that's just out here?"

"You'd think the straightaway was a dead end, but those boxes are where we take observation of who roams around and when we'd be clear to pass. So in short, I watched the two of you walk back there and stuck around to see you transform from your pony form to your human self."

So that's how she was able to catch us so easily. I guess that's to the advantage of those avoiding a raid. Alabaster took point again, walking into the facade of boxes. As he did, their appearance faded enough to let us see him pass through. But he quickly popped back out and halted us from following him. "Wait. It seems Princess Celestia is paying an unexpected visit to the area. There's a number of guards, forty at least."

"So it is a raid." Blue muttered. "That explains why Umbra was so quick to respond the way he did."

"We'll have to take another way out." Alabaster suggested.

"Dere is another way through de back, I presume." Kalimba said with a low tone.

I walked into the facade of boxes, looking to experience the method for myself. When I was swallowed up by the row of 'boxes' I realized that I could see the other side as clear as day. I poked my head out a little further, breaking past the facade for a moment to look up at the facade. While one side appeared to be ghostly when you enter it, the side facing the street appeared a lot more solid, as if I was a ghost phasing through a wall. I hid my head again, not looking to scare any potential onlookers. While I went back into hiding, I saw a few guards appear as if they were running in the direction of our alleyway. They briefly searched the area before reporting back to the princess. As they did so, Celestia dismissed them.

Alabaster maintained some distance as he approached me. "We're gonna have to find another way out."

I didn't feel that way, if anything I could easily walk away from this while walking the main road. All I had to do was just show my face to Celestia and she'd vouch for me immediately. The only catch was that I had to get Kalimba back to Ponyville safely as soon as the sun came up. I already knew a place, I already had the funds to make it happen, and all the cards lined up in my favor if something bad were to happen as a result. "Actually, I might head out this way."

Blue appeared incredulous. "Are you nuts!? They'll interrogate you the moment you step out there."

"I can talk my way through those guys. Just stick with me and we can play it off cool."

The two siblings disagreed. "In case you forgot, I'm a member of the City Council, she's a billionaire landowner with a lot of businesses looking to her for patronage. We get caught, all of that gets compromised."

I couldn't really argue against that. It would be fair to assume that any one of those guards, much less the princess, could identify either of them at first glance. But as far as Kalimba and I are concerned, that wouldn't be as risky of a maneuver. I accepted their excuse. "Well in that case, I guess we can part ways here. You two head back home on the back end, Kalimba and I will be off getting a room someplace."

Blue didn't appear too thrilled at my suggestion. Kalimba on the other hoof was much more open to the idea. "A room for de two of us, I should probably take it as business per usual."

"Fine. But I'll speak with my brother a little more often before the next time we meet." She walked up to me and whispered in my ear. "Just remember, you two had your fun while I had to watch tonight. I'm expecting a little more attention next time."

Alabaster shrugged. "Told you."

Blue and her brother started heading the opposite way while Kalimba and I started to make our way through the facade. Our exit was unnoticed by the many guards who seemed to be speaking among themselves. As we moved along, I started to mentally formulate a plan on how I was going to get Kalimba back home safely, at least flipping the script on where she stayed at for the time being.

While we walked, a number of guards were too busy talking about rumors to notice that we had walked right past them. It seemed to be an easy breeze, at least before a familiar voice hailed out to us. "Halt!" Kalimba glanced over to me while I remained compliant. "Remove your hoods and state your business!"

We both removed our hoods and turned around slowly to face the mare who called at us. I couldn't help but to laugh to myself as it was Solemn Oath trying to question us. Without skipping a beat, I started weaving together a story while lightening my voice. "Oh! I am so sorry. Are we of any trouble to you, ma'am?"

The mare glanced up at the clock tower in the distance, noting the time. "It's an hour past midnight. Most citizens are very much asleep at this hour. State your business."

I smiled as I continued on with my story. "I'm so sorry, I'm actually new around here. This young lady said that she knew the way around and opted to help me find my way to someplace called the Sun Cryst Resort. Unfortunately, our evening was spent going in circles trying to avoid a measure of unsavory elements trying to rob us blind. If you could help us get to where we're looking for, we will actively pursue our destination."

The lieutenant didn't seem as open to that idea, taking a closer look to Kalimba. "A unicorn zebra, I don't remember those being a thing. Are you sure that you two weren't lingering round for body modifications? Those are illegal here."

I then pleaded with the mare. "Please ma'am. I swear we've seen the same school at least six times already in the past four hours."

And just like clockwork, Celestia walked up to see the two of us pretending to be confused on our whereabouts. The high princess glanced over to me and asked me. "Where do you visit from, if I may ask?"

"Zebrabwe." Kalimba replied. "While his family is an outsider looking into our culture, dey are originally from Fillydelphia. I am here with him to celebrate our one-year anniversary. But dis one here, he do not listen, Ah! I told him to talk to a guide, he refused and said dat he remembered de map. So we wandered here for four hours trying to find where we had mailed our reservations."

Celestia gave me a once over, but then smiled. "Well I'm sorry to hear that. Perhaps it would be better to take this main street to reach the place you desire. It's not located in the lower parts of the city, you're looking to be among the inside tier."

"Oh well, thank you. Thank you so much, your excellency!" I said, bowing down.

As I did so, I felt something brushing against my horn. I looked up to see Celestia glaring down at me as her horn tapped against mine. I heard a voice in my head. "Let's see what all have you told him." I then realized that she was looking through my memories for something. As she did so, her appearance softened. A look of sadness came on her face as her voice came up again. "I see now... I was wrong to distrust you..." She backed away and announced to her lieutenant. "What they speak is truth. I have seen it. Let them be."

The two of us walked away, thanking the princess for her assistance. But her voice still boomed through my head as I was walking away.

"...You mustn't return to this place."

Sun Cryst Resort
Room 0742
Two Hours Later...

After a little less than an hour getting to the luxury hotel, we started to gather our ideas and come up with a measure for our next move. I thought to myself of ways on how we could get back to our relative bases without being figured out too easily. Kalimba didn't really mind the idea of being temporarily displaced from the place I provided to her, at least for a while. I also gave her the stipend I promised for her visit and started getting myself ready for bed.

She spent a good minute in the bath, possibly to soak away the day. Meanwhile I was trying to find some way to digest the ill-favored encounter, all while trying to manage the mess that was my psyche. It went without saying that I wasn't really going to sleep peacefully tonight. So I set my alarm for the dawn hour, gathering the little amount of funds I needed for her train ticket... and also mine.

It would be safer if I rode along to make sure nothing went wrong.

I laid myself in my bed, waiting for Kalimba to relieve the bathroom. She never did. I knocked on the door, seeing if she would answer. I had noticed that she had left the door unlocked, so I walked in to see her convulsing, her head almost sinking beneath the water. I quickly rushed over to check in on her, but as soon as I called out her name, she stopped.

It was like looking right back in the past for me. My grandfather had a few of these episodes coming out of his sleep. His eyes would roll back, he'd sometimes scream, he'd even try to move but to no success. It scared me when it first happened, I didn't know whether or not it was a nightmare, a seizure, or what. But I knew that when he came to, he never knew what happened to him.

Similarly, Kalimba came back and saw me standing over her. She clenched her eyes shut and grabbed my foreleg and started shaking. "...I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to see dat." Her face remained firm.

"I know you're still battling a fever, take it easy."

"It is not de fever. Tis my mudda's disease." She slowly opened her eyes, taking several deep breaths as her body stabilized. "It happens not often, striking suddenly."

I grabbed a few towels and pulled her from the tub. She leaned against me, trying not to pressure herself to moving too much. "I'm gonna get you to bed, alright?"

She looked around the room and nodded.

As soon as we got to the bed, she laid there quietly until I had finished with my shower. When I came out, she was sitting up on her own power, taking all awareness of the room. A feeling of unease fell on her as she spoke to me. "My earliest signs was when I was much younger. My mudda explained to my faddah dat what was occurring was merely hereditary. So he'd have to hold me as I slept, to put me at ease. My mudda would do de same, but she would cry, saying how sorry she was for letting me have dis curse. Sometimes when I sleep, I still hear her voice, telling me... 'I'm sorry, rose yangu ndogo (my little rose). I'm going to give you de best you deserve.' After so many years of hearing it, I would sometimes cry."

"What about nowadays?" I asked.

She looked at her hooves. "Nowadays, they just keep me going. De day I don't hear dose words is de day I truly know death has come."

I sat on the bed adjacent to hers. "So what about now? I know you've been with Prod for at least three years and you're no older than I am."

"I have learned to deal with it."

"You're strong." I noted. "Stronger than me."

She looked around the room and gave a light smile. "Not once had I ever thought of my being in a luxury hotel. I heard stories from Prod of how he dined with de rich clients, eating de finest foods and drinking de most storied wines. But you even give me dat experience, no matter how short of a night it is."

"Think nothing of it. I just know the security of this place took an upturn in recent months." I replied, thinking back to an incident involving a stolen dress.

She flopped back in her bed, placing one of her pillows over her face as she screamed. Her muffled cry initially startled me until she removed the pillow from her face, staring at the ceiling. Her eyes tilted to me as she spoke. "I know I should not ask much of you. I know dat you have your preferences, but I want to ask it."

I chuckled as she almost seemed childish with the way she acted just then. "Let me guess, you want me to sleep with you tonight."

She once again covered her face. "Ah, I swear I am not asking you for anything more. Just a moment of rest, but to feel like I once did."

"You mean when you were younger."

She sat up and tossed a pillow at me. "Do not say it out loud, mjinga (idiot)! I am already trying not to let my emotions get in de way of our work."

I scoffed at her statement. "Lady, if you talk to some mares in Ponyville, namely Twilight's friends, you'd know I'm nothing but trouble."

"Pinkie Pie said as much." She confirmed, causing me to glance back at her. "So would you be willing or not?"

I groaned as I gave her another warning. "It's better not to expect anything from me."

She glanced over at me for a second before hopping out of her bed, moving the pillows from her bed to mine, pushing me down, and laying next to me. She levitated my hoof around her as she settled in the sheets. "I guess I have to just simply do it instead of asking."

"You make a lot of demands for someone who's used to not having much." I noted.

She snuggled into her pillows. "No more talk. We sleep, Ah."

I shook my head, cut the light out, and leaned into the mare, whispering. "Your dad's pretty fucked in the head for leaving someone like you to the wolves."

"I became stronger dat way." She replied.

From there, we had a brief conversation in the darkness of the room, the dim lights of the streets below glowing outside of our room. "What do you do when all this is over?"

"You tell me."

"...I'd think you'd be a great guard."

"What would I find in de guard dat I cannot find here?"

"Opportunities to live an honest life, chance to meet a few others who actually like you for who you are, maybe even find that someone who sparks you, settle down, makes some babies, sit on the porch till your hair turns gray. Maybe share dentures in a glass."

"If I live dat long."

"Stick with me, you will."

She flipped herself around, allowing her crimson eyes to shimmer against the pale light beaming in from the moon above. A moment like that was all it took for her to appear like a child. She grimaced. "I do not like liars."

"Then don't look at me." I simply replied, closing my eyes.

She nuzzled into me. "Some liars feel good."

"...I have a girl I'm seeing, you know."

"Do you think I care? How many marriages have I violated for merely existing?"

"Lady, you're trouble." I mumbled.

"You silly boy, you have no idea." She said as she buried her muzzle into my chest, taking a deep breath. "I've broken five marriages before my thirteenth birthday."

That made me open my eyes, glaring down at the zebracorn. "Thirteenth?"

The mare levitated my hoof to the back of her head, queuing me to rub her. "I told you dat I was sold off at a young age."

"I'm sorry." I muttered.

She smiled. "Do not apologize for my life. You've done enough."

As I petted her, I felt her body loosen against mine. It appears that she was already starting to drift off. So I remained quiet, letting her close her eyes and experience the peace of knowing a good night's rest, no matter how short it would be. She finally tapered off, drifting to sleep, leaving me in the dark room as the only conscious person. I leaned in and closed my eyes, experiencing a moment of peace after many wandering thoughts of the mare I held. Before I fell off myself, I heard the young mare whisper in her sleep.

"Mama, i kupatikana mtu (Mom, I found someone.)"

The Next Day...
***Point of Perspective: NONDIS***

The both of us woke up at the sound of my alarm. I had an instinctual response to hearing it, put my hand out grab the phone, slide my finger down the screen and place my alarm on snooze. I realized why that wasn't as effective after the first few attempts, I was still in pony form. So the first thing that greeted me on waking up was a fairly scratched screen with quite the crack on it. I used my magic from that point on to operate my phone.

Yeah, it was time for me to upgrade.

After we got up, the first thing we did was throw on our cloaks and made a beeline for the station. We got on the first train smoking, the 5:30 Green Line, running from Canterlot straight to Dodge Junction, Ponyville being it's first stop. While the sun was still slowly pattering above the snowy horizon, I had very little comfort in the scenery. Couldn't say the same for Kalimba, she appeared quite serene. As soon as she grabbed the window seat, she proudly took in the freedom of leaving Canterlot of her own volition. As the rails clattered, she started tracing the distant mountains with her hoof in the condensation that gathered on the glass. She looked over to me after she finished, and did the unthinkable.

She smiled.

While I wasn't as calm as her, she took the opportunity to try and offer me comfort instead. She urged me to sit beside her, patting the cushion next to me. I followed her suggestion, sat on down, and she laid me onto her haunches, rubbing my head softly as I did to her.

From there, we talked about what happened earlier with my phone, my plan for getting a new one, and even what I would do with my old one. I couldn't just throw it out anymore, it had at least a good ten-thousand dollars worth of jewels on the back of it. We also talked more on her past, namely the one point she brought up before drifting off to sleep. She felt comfortable enough to tell me a few of her stories on what happened to her on that first day of her being pawned off for drug money. She wasn't afraid of telling me how it made her feel at the time, or how badly she was beaten.

Before we knew it, one chapter of her life had taken the entire trip of our ride to town. We stepped off the train and got her settled over in Twilight's Castle. From there, I told her to keep her company for the week, at least until Friday evening. getting that knocked out of the way, I slipped through to my world, transformed back, called an Uber, got myself to a nearby Apple store, and browsed some of the phones and tablets. I came across a pretty sleek-looking device. I pulled out my phone, noticing the massive crack and several scratch marks on the screen from earlier this morning.

I walked up to a dealer, seeing first if they offered repairs. They did, but I had to set in a reservation for hardware support, then submit the device, then get an estimated time of labor, including the shipping of parts, which easily took two days to a week depending on the traffic. And since they had a new device that was high in demand, they stopped ordering parts for older phones. So I'd be left with a scratched up device for a good while. And then they gave me the estimate for a repair...

In short, my old phone was the iPhone 5, now I have an iPhone 6 Plus.

It didn't take me long to figure it out, most of everything was pretty standard, except the fact that I could put my thumb over my home button and it registered my thumbprint to unlock the screen. This phone was a lot faster, smoother, and even had a bigger screen. Sporting a 5.5 inch display, holding 128 gigs of memory, I was set to transfer everything from my old phone to the new. Once I got that out of the way, I got myself a safety case to reduce any chance of damage as well as a screen protector. All of that for the low price of $812.84.

...I had to be the sucker on that one.

I headed back out to the frat house, going through Cliff's portal and made my way into the royal dining hall. It appeared that Celestia was by herself. As soon as I walked in, I was greeted with a sad frown, almost as if she was concerned. I greeted her for the first time today. "Morning, Princess."

She didn't immediately return the greeting. "What exactly are you doing there?"

"Doing where?" I asked.

"You went to Canterrot by yourself the first time, you planned on doing it again but I had to intervene the second time, now you're traveling with some mare on another visit. And apparently you've gotten yourself mixed in with the wrong kind of trouble, trouble that has compromised the both of us. What are you doing over there?"

I couldn't blame her for being straight forward, this was a legitimate concern. She deserved an explanation considering the circumstances. "I'm looking some ponies up. And I seem to have gotten a pretty big lead on who I can track down."

Celestia rose from her seat, walking up to me. "I should be able to understand that you've gone there to make good on your investigation. But I didn't intend on you going so far down that back alley. What is your status there?"

I didn't hesitate to tell her of my situation. "Long story short, I'm in with the VIP network."

The princess shook her head. "Mother damn it, you work fast."

"I have help and connections."

"Where did you get the money?" She asked.

"One of those connections, who's also sending a few lobbyists our way to turn the tide of an impending vote. You said I had two months, well I'm already a month in."

Celestia looked around and checked for any eavesdroppers. After confirming that there were no listeners, she finally broke out the main question. "So being that you're in the VIP network, they must've done their research on you as well. Apparently someone informed their head of our relationship. Who do you think that could've been?"

"From what my sources gathered, that guy is named Umbra Sanctus, interesting name. He apparently did some delving around in magic, zebra magic to be exact. And unfortunately for me, he didn't like playing fair. He has some sort of zebra concoction he mixes in his mouth so when he kisses you, he knows everything about you."

"You... kissed him?" She asked, stepping back with some obvious disgust.

"Absolutely not. My contacts didn't make me aware that this asshole was gonna drop by, so he paid me an unexpected visit with the intent that he'd discover why I was made a suitor. I refused his initial proposal, deciding to use my safety escort. It went well, until it didn't..."

The princess questioned me on the matter. "What went wrong?"

"He wanted in on the act. He broke us two apart, got one of his goons to play enforcer, and forced his tongue down my throat."

The princess showed her disgust. "Eww... That's not good."

"It wasn't until later when I was told what he was doing. The kiss is a method of distraction, the brew is how he finds out everything about you, and I guess that's how he knows everything about everyone there. I know the names of everyone there, but not their histories. The Inner Circle knows everything, from names of family members, friends, loved ones, to what you do, what you have planned, and even where your family is buried. He obviously knows everything about me, including why I'm there."

The princess placed a hoof to her chin. "That's even worse. Now he knows what we're about and how to place us in a bind. I tried to lead the effort of having that arimaspi removed from the city, but they keep changing the requirements with every visit. Even I paid a visit myself with the intent of at least gathering some information on their capture operation. But of course with him knowing the legal side of things, not to mention our status. All he has to do is spread the rumor, and that's exactly what he did last night."

"We're working against time then. I need to shorten this to two weeks." I muttered to myself.

"Rushing the matter won't help." Celestia warned. "If you dive into something like this, there is a very good chance that you will either fail or die."

"I have some means of getting what I want." I rebutted. "I also happen to have a connect in the Inner Circle who can get us the ear of the City Council. We can operate quickly as long as the intel is actionable. What he knows cannot be confirmed with hard evidence. We can dispute it as rumor, and that's that. All we have to do is pull off a chance play, we leak the rumor from one of those checkout-aisle tabloids before he can play that card for his benefit."

"Are you crazy?" She asked worriedly.

"I mean think about it, that gets out, we play the denial. We can keep some separation for the time being up until it's time for that vote to come through. You said it yourself, we have three months before our next date, you gave me two months to fool around almost a month after our agreement to conclude our investigation. All we have to do is play the hand for him to play it against him."

"And how do you imagine we pull that off?" She questioned.

"I hate to do this, but we're gonna have to actively lie about our relationships. That means I'm gonna have to play the celebrity card and get a relationship with someone I can easily trust."

"You do realize that you would be playing with someone's emotions."

"Not unless I can explain that to them. I'm sure I can find someone who can fit the bill, who wouldn't mind going along with it, and who'd be willing to perform some impromptu PDA for the cameras."

"You realize you're going to have to hurt someone dearly over this."

"Cella, I warned you. I can be a terrible asshole, but only if I need to be."

"Who would you even consider?" She asked vehemently. "Neither of us know anyone that could do that. It would have to be someone we BOTH can trust."

"...I'm gonna have to ship this girl a whole rose garden for an apology."

Carousel Boutique
Ponyville
One Hour Later...

After my breakfast, I was given the green light to take a leave for Ponyville before the appointment with my therapist. I simply marched into the barracks, grabbed my bike, got on, and rode the streets of Canterlot another time. After a good fifty minutes of steady travel, I landed over in Ponyville to meet with the one Celestia and I saw as our only feasible option for our publicity stunt.

"You want what!?"

Rarity was more upset with the idea, especially since I was doing this to distract from another relationship in pending. I was at least thoroughly honest with her on many details except for the very specific catalyst that made it an important issue. "Rarity, I know this sounds crazy, but I'm in a bind. And I'm gonna need to play this angle to pull it off."

"And cause some controversy with my friends while I'm at it?" The mare added angrily.

I continued to plead with the seamstress, planting my hands together. "It's for two months, tops. After that, you can throw a drink at my face and be done with it, never talk to me again. Call me out for being the worst guy ever, tell the world I'm the biggest douchebag. Hell, it would be warranted for what I'm asking you to do. You don't have to say yes, but I would like for you to."

The mare leaned against her door frame, crossing her forelegs as she spoke. "Exactly why are you asking me to do this, who are you trying to hide from the world?"

"Rarity, I need you to tell me you'll do it before I can tell you."

The mare rolled her eyes, adjusting the curls of her mane. "Faust damn you Nondis, you know I'm your best bet. That's why you came to me first, because you knew I would do it, you knew I could be trusted with the role, and you knew I would do it because it was for you and only you, because of my feelings for you. Now since you're going to take advantage of me, tell me who it is you're trying to hide."

I could feel the scathing ire coming from the mare's eyes. She was staring me down something fierce. I initially wondered if she would do anything to spite the fact that I was doing this to her. I couldn't blame her for it either, she has every right to be upset. But I whispered to myself the very words I was instructed to heed. "Someone we both can trust..." I took a deep breath and pointed to the inside of the boutique. "Let's get inside."

The mare stepped out of the way, allowing me into her home. While I was walking in, she guided me into the kitchen. She pulled out a chair and sat herself, pointing to another chair for me to sit in. While I parked myself, she continued to show her displeasure of the matter. "So who is it?"

I then reluctantly informed her of the reason of importance. "...Celestia and I are talking."

The mare started to laugh sarcastically. "Oh as if the two of you are actually mutually interested in one another. That's a publicity stunt all by itself, darling. It doesn't check out. She knows Twilight loves you and she wouldn't get in the way of that, she'd also cite her age which would automatically eliminate you from contention, and you're her Captain of the Royal Guard. That would be violating the professional relationship the two of you are supposed to have."

I rebutted her points by bringing up a simple fact. "If that's all the case, then why is it that Twilight hasn't told you and the others who I was seeing?"

"Why that's simply because she was trying... to protect..." Just watching her face as she started to piece it together, it was like seeing her emotions change in slow motion. "NO!"

"Yeah. Twilight agreed to keep us secret."

"BUT THE TWO OF YOU ARE ILLEGAL! YOU CAN'T BE A SUITOR AFTER FAILING TO BE A SUITOR TO ANOTHER ROYAL! THAT GETS OUT AND YOU'RE BANISHED FOR LIFE!"

"Walls have ears, you know." I motioned my hands, trying to get her to lower her volume. "Someone may be on to us, and they already started the rumor among the guards just last night. She and I have made an agreement that after we eliminated the Approval Process Law, I would be her next suitor, or at least her introductory course for dating in the current century. Cella herself suggested we'd start dating, but at the caveat of us being upfront with Twilight during the whole process. And because of that issue you highlighted, she wants to make sure that we kept our secret from anyone to prevent something like this from happening."

"And because of your work in Canterrot, someone now knows of it." She concluded. "How did that happen?"

"Some bastard in the deep circuit went magic diving in my mind and found it out, namely the guy running the whole operation." I replied. "He knows about me, where I'm from, how I get home, who I'm related to, I assume all of everything up to that night.

"That means Kalimba is in danger too." Rarity added. "So now Celestia is at risk of being found out for breaking the marriage law."

"Yeah. I proposed that since the rumor was already out there among the staff, we would leak it to the public, counter that with a fake relationship, and play it safe with one another. She approved of it, but wanted me to do this with someone we both could trust. Since she could trust you─along with Twilight and the others─to save the country a number of times, we felt that you were our absolute best wager."

The mare dropped her head. "A wager?"

"It's absolutely dogshit, I know. I promise you I'll make it up to you somehow. Just tell me what you want and I'll get it done."

She didn't raise her head, just squeaking through a response."...Anything?"

"Yes, anything. Jewel hunting, pack mule for another few months, shopping on my dime, you name it."

Rarity raised her head partially and looked at me with a pout. "...And you will not refuse me?"

"Not a fucking chance in hell."

She glanced to the side and hopped off her seat. "I want to travel, darling."

"Where?" I asked.

"Your world." She replied rather quickly.

I started thinking aloud to myself. "My hometown, that's pretty easy to pull off─"

"Wait!" She interrupted, plugging a hoof against my lips. She used her magic to drag me down by my collar, just a few inches shy of her own face. "I remember you telling me that there was a Manehattan equivalent in your world."

Dread. Dread was the only thing that ran though my mind. Not at the fact that she was making such a demand, but the fact that I knew it was going to be an expensive trip. Plane tickets, taxi fare, overpriced amenities, much less a possible hotel, and then dinner, all of that in a city I only hear of from other students and see on TV. Austin was already big, Dallas is more than huge. New York City, the concrete jungle, I'd probably get lost at a moment's notice, much less Rarity getting lost wandering about. And then to start, there's teaching her how to be a human, walk like one, eat like one, all of the above. "Oh, Rarity."

The mare was finally playing hardball with me, something she'd usually save for some of her more stubborn clients. Today was my day to be on the receiving end of that side of the fashionista. She eased in, whispering at me. "Make those arrangements for me and we can do with the faking it."

To be real, I left myself wide open for this. I told her that I'd do anything, and she's looking for me to deliver. The only thing I could do was acknowledge my word. "...That's a tough draw, but I guess I can pull it off."

"And I want to be there for a week."

Yup, murder. "Oh my God."

Rarity began to explain herself. "I know a city as large as that one would easily be considered as one of the fashion capitals of the world. Just the idea of being in a place like that drives me wild with ideas. I just want to digest the world of human fashion and couture, that and see how it signs against the backdrop of your world's civilization. I can already see the bright lights now, and I can more than understand the idea of you treating me to a luxury hotel, a fine dining experience, and a night out to experience the culture of your world's theater." I was already running my fingers through my scalp, wondering which hairs would turn gray first. "You wanted this, dear. Now you'll make my heartbreak as memorable for me as it will be for you."

Oh yeah, that price tag is looking like a solid $20,000 without question. I'm gonna have to yank some playground funds and trade them in for cash. At least I won't have to worry too much about first-class tickets on the plane. But seriously, Celestia was way easier to impress than she is at this point. "Okay, New York City it is."

The mare finally smiled, giving me a quick peck on the lips before leaving her hoof to linger on my chin upon walking off. "I'll have to talk with Twilight on this as well. Once we're done with that, I can put some time into giving us some matching costumes for our walk in Canterlot tomorrow."

Already? I'm impressed she willing to hit the ground running, but the timing of it would be off if we just dove in for it. "Can't we wait for the leak to come in first? That was kinda the whole gambit."

"Fine." She said, her mind already fast-forwarding to the trip. "Oh a day in the big city, OF HUMANS NO LESS!"

I immediately pulled out my phone, going to Google for more information. "I'll start looking up reservations and prices."

Rarity took notice of the black device in my hand, looking vastly different from the white one I usually used. "Darling, what is that?"

"This, it's my new phone." I explained.

"What happened to the one I decorated?" She asked, appearing disappointed.

"I mean I still have it, but..." I pulled it out of my pocket and showed it to her. She quickly deduced the issue at the first glance.

"Oh, there's a gaping crack."

"Yeah. I discovered that this morning." I said, cursing myself out internally.

She took a glance at the screen and applied her magic to it. Within a few seconds, she managed to restore the screen to it's former glory. The multitude of scratches in the quartz screen was all but erased, the crack completely undone. She then eyed my new phone and held out her hoof. "Alright, give it here."

"Give what here?"

"Don't test me, you." She quickly snatched the phone from my hand and started looking at it, summoning a box of small jewels. "If we're doing this, it's on my terms. That means I want a device that matches this one, I suppose I'll have the first crack at my skills in human attire today. I'll design my own dresses and gowns with my human form. I heard that you once turned Twilight into a human, so I'll be needing you to do that for me today so I can get my measurements."

"You're doing all of that today?" I questioned her, she completely ignored me as she went on with her desired schedule.

"After we do all of that, you will schedule lunch with me everyday at 12:30, just to get some of the paparazzi buzzing. Well share a brief moment of PDA for the hidden cameras. And then we'll plan an evening at the park to really steam up the tabloids. The headlines will read 'NONITY!' Or perhaps 'RARINON!' Maybe even... hmm... Raridis, Captain Fashion, celebrity pairings always have these unusual mash-up names, I guess I'll let them decide that. But imagine the sight, 'Equestria's Newest Power Couple!' A rising Captain of the Royal Guard who can do away with criminals in the blink of an eye, a fashion new-blood who designed the hottest attire of the season, the perfect relationship between model and designer. Why I could easily say it would be all I've ever dreamed of outside of my business thriving!" Rarity spun around as she raised her hooves in the air, declaring to the air of the boutique. "LOOK OUT WORLD, RARITY ANDALUSIA BELLE AND NONDIS HAINES ARE YOUR NEWEST. CELEBRITY. HOT TOPIC!"

I shook my head. "I really don't know who'll kill me first at this rate, your friends or those goons in Corrotto."

"Applejack's got first dibs, darling." Rarity replied plainly.

Yeah I figured as much.

After a while, Rarity finally settled down enough to let me do what she wanted me to have done for well over a month. I finally transformed her into a human. Once more, I gave her a fair warning of what the side effects were and how her body would initially respond to the transformation. She didn't care too much, citing that she'd learn as much as she could in the very little time I had available to me before my appointment. The spell worked without any unforeseen consequences aside from the fact that she was absolutely staunch naked. The moment she looked down at herself, she noticed her unusual features. She also noticed that I had intentionally turned away from her. She tried to do whatever it took to get me to look her way, but I refused.

Unfortunately, I had to give in sometime. And that time came when she had another one of her melodramatic spats. "Ugh, I'm hideous! Just admit it, I'm an absolute sham!" She initially took my trying to avert my eyes as her being unsightly.

"Rarity, for the third time already, you're not ugly." I answered, trying to keep my head turned away, but rapidly becoming frustrated at her trying to get me to do otherwise.

"Then look at me." I sighed in submission, turned around and saw the young seamstress in all of her pale-skinned glory.

I tried my best not to let my eyes wander to her exposed breasts or her tightly-tucked cleft. I didn't take in the fact that she actually had a black mole seated on the bottom right side of her left breast. I didn't look at the fact that her nipples were a perky pair packed on the peak of a pair of C-cups. I didn't entertain the idea of running my fingers down the shapes on her neck. I didn't want to wrap my hand around it and run my thumb across her thin but supple lips. The thought of running my hands across her thighs, the vivid imagination of watching her stand there helplessly, slowly revealing the drooling traces her arousal while I did whatever I could to her, teaching the many methods of human procreation, none of that came to mind. Not once did I instinctively adjusted the front of my pants with the bottom of my palm, acting like I was scratching the itch of my inner right thigh. I did none of those things, I'm a gentleman.

As if.

And much like a lady, Rarity would never call out such things, even if she saw them. "...Oh my. I see I am not as unappealing as I once imagined."

Then again, even ladies entertain the idea of being humbled by a strong man looking to put them in their place. Rarity was that kind of lady, she never shied away from the idea of letting a male lead her. In fact, she welcomed it. Usually most of her stature would pose to be the dominant, they own everything, they're economically independent, mentally strong, educated, and filled with ambition. But she liked being tossed around, a rag doll cast to the sheets. She enjoys both dominance and submission. But her dominance comes in the form of instruction, the instruction of how to make her melt. If you did what she told you, the night would last for a while. If not, then of course you'd leave unsatisfied.

"Come here."

I could tell with that tone, she had more than thoughts of commencing with that first mating lesson. But I instead offered her an arm to grab while she learned how to balance herself on both of her feet. Thankfully, that lesson was the only one I had to teach her at that time. Any other distractions and I would've had to borrow her shower for a moment. After several minutes of trying to balance herself, I gave her a few tips and hints on how to walk, how to grab things, how to use her magic in that form, as well as how to put on some of the human attire that she had set aside for Melanie, namely a white corset-like dress that Mel didn't like because of the exposed cut revealing her cleavage. Rarity wore it for herself for the time being.

With many of the bodily distractions set aside, I finally had the opportunity to measure out her appearance. And I'd had to admit, she had a lot of qualities that would've been great in a girlfriend. Cute face, pretty smile, natural beauty, an intriguing trait that on many would prove to be unhealthy that works in her favor, and her hands were small but very elegant. Her body is a perfect hourglass, top and bottom equally symmetrical with enough mid to pass as a child bearer. Even as she moved a few curls out of the way using the back of her knuckles, there was that beauty that separated her from the pack. She would be the perfect image of an independent woman, an entrepreneur of her own brand.

Now thinking about it, she would be the perfect Manhattanite.

The mare continued to work out her measurements as she cultivated her image. She even grabbed a white hat accented with black trim, lace, and peacock feathers. I was honestly stunned silent with the outfit she originally intended for Mel to wear. But in reality, Mel couldn't have worn this, not with the same confidence Rarity has. I mean she could put it on and look nice, but I'll be damned if Rarity didn't wear that shit with the same passion she had in making it. That would be comparing a lunch box to a four-star meal. I love Mel to death, but this dress as of now wouldn't be her finest hour.

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out and noticed that one of my notifications had gone off. It was my schedule reminding me of my appointment. I had to pack my opinions and the like away, hop on my bike, and ride back north to Canterlot. I told the fashionista that I would drop by later to change her back. She agreed, but she still wanted me to bring her back a phone like my new one.

I'm probably being a little too liberal with my distribution of human technology.

Canterlot Castle...

Around an hour later and I was in my doctor's office on time for our usual discussion. The timer started and I started going through how I was feeling for the past week. I started to explain to him some of the mechanisms I've implemented in my resting periods to keep myself from having those nightly attacks. And the doctor praised me for finding some means of comfort outside of relying on Princess Luna's talents.

But still, there was the other thing that managed to unnerve me.

"I'm facing some confusion, doc."

The doctor, who usually leaned back in his recliner, stopped jotting notes and leaned forward. He sat himself upwards. "So what is it that you're facing that could be the cause of your confusion."

I continued to lean back on the chaise that was provided, albeit with my legs dangling over the end. "Well, I know that there's this thing I do, namely a girl I like to talk to, but for the longest time, I've been trying to keep it distant. And the thing is that I know she isn't the only one that likes me like this."

The doctor started jotting things down again. "So you're dealing with a personal struggle, is that it?"

"To an extent." I answered.

He scribbled a few more notes. "Do you know in what way this girl likes you?"

"Well, we've been trying to spend time together, but a lot of things get in the way of it. It's like the both of us are pretty busy with our schedules. There's hardly any time for us. If I'm not busy, then she's swamped. If she's not busy, then I'm on assignment. And the worst thing of it all is that I have more than one who looks at me like I've made a drastic change in their lives."

"Alright then." Doctor Schoen nodded slowly, again jotting more things down. "So, do the two of you work closely together?"

I took a deep breath as I confessed to him. "We do, but I feel like it's veering off the course of professionalism that we're supposed to be maintaining. She has her laundry list of things to do, I have mine. But it's like we've been getting closer and closer over the past month. Now I can't stop thinking about her, even if it hurts the others I know are invested in me emotionally."

"So you are aware of these other girls who are emotionally invested in you?"

"Yes." I replied, causing him to jot our conversation down.

"How often do you speak to them?"

"Whenever I see them, which is every other day for some, a few days apart for others."

He made a note of my response. "Does your former fiancée knows of your emotional developments for these other girls?"

"She knows of some, not others." I replied.

"And do you intend on informing her of these engagements?"

"I'm not sure."

He quickly jotted that bit of the conversation down. "Have any of these relationships of yours yielded in any physical interactions?"

"Yes." I confessed.

He hummed in confirmation. "And what all have you done with them?"

"I've slept with one of them."

He temporarily stopped jotting things down to ask me the question directly. "And by 'slept with' do you mean that you engaged in any form of intercourse with them?"

"Yes."

He jotted down some more notes. "Is your former fiancée attached to you in any way?"

"To an extent, yeah." I answered.

"So she is also one of these emotionally-invested beings that you speak of?"

I took a deep breath, admitting to myself how cold my series of replies were in hindsight. "Yeah, I know. I'm an asshole."

As per usual, more notes were taken of our interaction. "Are the two of you seeing each other?"

"No. We're just friends for the time being."

"But she is still invested in you emotionally in a way where she desires your company exclusively?"

"She can be like that sometimes." I answered.

"Have you checked in with her on how she's doing?"

"I do sometimes. We keep in touch."

He took a break from the notes and folded his forelegs. "Do you feel like the relationship the two of you once had could be reignited in any way?"

"Can't. It's illegal." I bluntly retorted.

"Barring the legal ramifications, if this were a completely free decision, would you entertain the idea of reconnecting with her, in a way to reciprocate the exclusive desire of her company?"

"You kinda lost me, doc." I knew what he was asking, I was more surprised of the fact that he asked me that so quickly. I wanted to make sure that he didn't have any double meaning behind it.

"Would you consider being with her again?"

I stretched my hands to the ceiling. "That's... that's a tough call."

"Do you not have feelings for her still?" I feel he was genuinely curious at this point.

"I mean it's still there, just not as strong as it once was." I stated.

"Was there anything in particular that had might have led you to that decision?"

"The marriage law." That was my best answer.

"Is that the only reason?"

"Back then, yes. As of now, no."

After a brief hiatus from taking notes, he got back into the groove of his work. "So what event caused you to reconsider your options and choose this path instead?"

"A quiet little dinner date. I came in late one evening for dinner and found the kitchen was closed. She offered to make me a meal, and I agreed to it."

"And that's what changed your mind?" He asked.

"It's a big factor because of how long we stayed up talking."

"And this is your current interest, correct?"

"Yup."

He quickly took note of my answer. "How did the two of you meet?"

"She's been there from day one. Waking up in Equestria for the first time, I saw her face right then."

Another hum of confirmation. "So with all that being said, is your current interest knowledgeable of the other girls you may have had contact with?"

"Not all of them, no."

He placed his notes aside for his next question. "So the two of you are sexually active?"

"We are, but not completely. As far as sex is concerned, I was mainly on the giving end."

He wanted me to specify my answer. "Giving as in what exactly?"

I sat myself up, already thinking of our encounter on New Years. In the back of my mind, the memory of her looking down to me from above, that smile on her face, those eyes, the sensation of her hoof pressing against the back of my head, the warmth of her haunches while anchoring my head in place. The very memory stirred many lingering ideas of how our next encounter would be like in the coming months. And it also awoke a sense of arousal. That was the primary reason why I had to sit up before I spoke. "Oral."

"So you had oral sex with this girl?" He questioned.

The whispers of her enjoyment plagued the inner recesses of my mind. My fingers remembered her warm embrace. "Yes."

"Is this the one you say you've engaged in intercourse with?"

More thoughts of lust entered into my brain. Namely another three encounters. Starlight showing me just how adept she was in the art of pleasing the opposing sex. The feel of my delving deeper in Twilight while in human form. The broken memory of my first overnight in Corrotto, the sight of two mares tending to my equine libido. Even Princess Luna's bid for my temporary relief came to mind. "No."

"So you did engaged in an unrequited oral exchange with this girl, but you did not achieve penile intercourse with the girl you're primarily speaking to?"

If my own imagination was fueling the burning wildfire that was my arousal, his choice of words for the line of questioning was doing wonders to counter that. "Correct."

"When was the last time you had intercourse?" He asked.

I closed my eyes, remembering how Kalimba flipped the roles with me by proxy. Even her demonstration of a belly ride was burned into my growing list of ideas. "Last night."

"This was with one of the other girls?"

Honestly if I was anything of the brute Stanton is, I'd probably call her up for another demonstration. Then again, my thoughts of lust and recounting of past sexual experiences are what's driving me to such ideas. "Yes."

"How often do you and this other girl talk?"

"Perhaps twice a week." Though if I spend more time in Ponyville, it could easily be more. Not to mention the possibility of getting caught up with Rarity. Plus Pinkie's pretty lonely with Cheese setting out to do his usual party planning thing, and she already threw the hint out there for me to come on by.... Yeah, I have way too many options with my oversexualized brain as of the moment. I need to find a way to dial it back to a simmer.

"Do you assume that this particular tertiary party as an outlet?"

"I don't know what you're asking." The way he worded it initially went over my head, especially with all the sex running through it.

"Do you see this other girl as a pursuit of pleasure for when you are unsatisfied?"

"Yes." I openly confessed.

"Is it because of the nature of both your job and the job of your primary interest that causes you to seek satisfaction in a third party?"

"Yes." Again, I confessed.

"How heavily does that weigh on your relationship?" He asked.

I leaned forward, a means to remove some of the pressure off of the tense soldier down below. "I mean, I'm happy with her. We just don't have time to knock it down, and I kinda want that too. She says it's better if we stay distant, but I feel like we do enough of that, we're gonna drift apart anyhow."

"So is she trying to maintain a professional relationship with you?"

"Yes." I answered.

"But she also desires a personal relationship?"

"Yes."

The notes came back up, and he started scribbling away, jotting down that entire exchange while glancing over at the clock. "And how often does she advocate for your being together?"

I had to admit, that was an unusual question. But I answered him regardless. "Everyday, when we talk during breakfast, dinner, whenever."

"Does she know of this third party and you sleeping together?"

"No." I replied.

"Are you going to reveal to her this information?"

I did think about the question he asked. And in doing so, I remembered a key detail Celestia told me that I should take advantage of while I was working. In fact, she made it perfectly clear that I could get my work-around sessions out of the way before she came back around to solidify her place. And I'm sure any mare or woman would prefer not to hear about the sexual exploits of their interest, much less from the interest in question. I'm pretty certain Cella wouldn't like to hear me talking about who all I've entertained during our trial period. "...No."

The doctor placed his notes aside for good this time, removing his glasses, and sat up in his seat. "Do you feel that what you are doing now is breeding mistrust for the near future?"

"It can." But for Celestia, it won't.

The doctor seemed clued in to whom I was referring to, standing to his hooves and started to do his usual assessment of our conversation while adding in some of his advice. "It can, and it also does. If you are not honest with her, I believe you've started to sabotage the relationship you two are cultivating. Even if the relationship you two have is considered taboo in the close association you share, it's without question that you will cause irreparable damage to your reputation, as well as hers." He seemed stern with his message, calmly telling me to change my ways. He glanced to the clock on the wall and walked over to the door, holding it closed for a short moment. "Our time has run out for this week, but I want to take another minute to remind you of the possible dangers you place yourself in by doing what you are doing. I want you to know that if you need to talk about these issues, you can come to me and I will set aside the time. But don't place yourself in danger of losing all that you've worked hard to achieve. If what you're telling me is true, then I can only recommend that the two of you separate until further notice."

"I'll keep that in mind, doc."

As I was shown the exit, I walked out to the lobby leading to his office. While no one seemed they were coming in, I took advantage of my moment alone to perform a fist pump at myself. The first phase of my plan had worked out smoothly. He didn't ask the questions of who, and neither was I going to give him the answer. All of what I had set up was for him to jot down everything for the evaluation to be sent onward to the deciding parties.

After getting myself to lower the mast down yonder, I settled outwards to the hallway. I walked over to the office that was often used to house many of the files that would be sent to the princesses. Upon my entrance, I saw Princess Celestia going through a few of the items with a quiet frown on her face. I quietly closed the door behind me. She didn't even glance up, almost knowing who I was as soon as I walked in. "So how'd the session go?"

"I clued him in." I whispered.

The princess sighed, placing the paperwork on the table. "No names, correct?"

"Of course. I kept the harder details in without compromising any identities."

The princess stood from her seat, walked up to me, and sat herself before me. "My hooves will be off of this report. That means one of your superiors will gain knowledge of this."

"And when they start bringing that up, I'll be out to lunch with the mediary, gaining all the tabloid press in the world." I said confidently.

The princess appeared nervous, unsure if what we were doing was a good idea. "This is such a risk. All eyes will be on us."

I leaned against the door, folding my arms. "In my world, there are people who get looked at just for the color of their skin. Too dark, they assume you've stolen something. So of course, all eyes of the staff are on them, following them around the store, play like they're checking inventory when in reality they're just prejudging a person's actions based on stereotypes. But they never really look at the ones who swap the bar codes for everything in the self-checkout line, never the elderly who seem feeble. And they're the main ones who are experienced enough to know how to cheat the system. They steal with a smile on their face, greeting everyone with handshakes, walking away paying for less than half of what they walk away with. In short, we'll use that red herring to swap a few things so we can leave with nothing less than what we want."

Celestia took a second to consider what I've said. She had herself a light chuckle. "You have a criminal's mind. I have to watch you."

I leaned down to the princess, smiling all the while. "Careful, princess. Stare at the light too much and you'll go blind."

"I raise the sun." She paid the equal amount of my sarcasm back to me.

"Not the only thing you raise up in the mornings." I teased.

The princess took my double meaning and used her magic to pull me in closer to her face. "You're so perverted."

"Says the one who threatened to break my bed." I replied with an eye roll.

"You are asking for trouble." Her muzzle brushed against my nose.

"Says the one who wanted a relationship with the troublemaker of the century." I noted quietly with a fiendish grin and a playful shrug.

The princess glanced down to my lips, then looked back into my eyes. "You have ten seconds to leave before I shove you into a wall."

"And destroy me?" I leaned in, trying to sneak a kiss.

"On a molecular level." She replied, slipping a wing in between us. Instead of my kissing her, I ended up kissing the feathers of her wing. I took what she gave me and kissed each one of her primaries, causing her to giggle fondly and bite her lips. She slipped her wing out of the way, letting our faces becoming mere milometers apart. Her cheeks and ears flushed red while her wings began to spread on their own accord.

"Sounds like a good time to be had. But I'll take that on the three-month back-order." I whispered, giving her a quick peck on the lips. I reached in my back pocket and pulled out my old phone, introducing it to her. "Take this."

She appeared confused at what I offered as I was about to make my way out of the room. "But this is your phone."

"Was my phone, now it's how you'll keep in contact with me. I downloaded an app called Instagram. Your account is private, you're already friends with me, and you can use the wifi to keep yourself connected. However, don't friend anyone who you don't know in person, don't go starting trouble, and don't lose sight of the battery level."

She levitated the device in front of her, already somewhat savvy to how it works. She quickly bypassed the lock screen and was greeted with a photo of me posing up in my ceremonial uniform. "How will you be able to stay in touch with me if you don't have a phone?"

"I upgraded." I said as I pulled out my new phone and waved it to her.

She looked at the device, namely the back and immediately expressed her disposition. She appeared to be little upset. "Huh..."

"What?" I asked.

"The back." She said, quirking an eyebrow.

I flipped it around to see the new exterior Rarity threw together. The Apple logo was coated in expensive fire ruby fragments. The exterior was coated in a gradient of diamonds, top being the purest natural blue and the bottom being the purest natural green. Written across the back was a scripted 'HERS' outlined in gold with pink diamonds filling in the letters. Not my original idea, but Rarity was insistent that she'd leave her mark on it. Knowing her, she'd probably used the most expensive items for the dress up, valuing my device from the $800 price tag up to a monstrous $250,000. My old phone wasn't no slouch to quality either, it was probably sitting in a range between $80,000 to $175,000.

Still, the phone has 'Property of Rarity Andalusia Belle' metaphorically written all over it. And she wanted the world to know that she had me for however long this stunt was going to take. "Right, that."

Celestia levitated the phone from my hand into my side pocket, her lavender eyes glowed slightly as she spoke. "Don't get too lost in your fake relationship where you forget about the real one with me."

"That's a deal." I confirmed.

Almost immediately, she started going through the device, possibly through my pictures because that what she liked to do the most. It was almost as if the paperwork she had set aside was given a temporary back seat. "Now go along. I've got work to do."

I chuckled at her motions, seeing her skim through the phone I gave her. She almost appeared to be like a young teenage girl getting her first real phone. I muttered under my breath, just to see if she was even paying any attention to me. "I'll be sure to do a lot of practicing for you."

She stopped going through her phone and glanced over at me. In the blink of an eye, she disappeared from in front of me. The next thing I noticed was that I had suddenly been knocked down and pressed against the wall. The high princess emphatically pressed her lips against mine, reintroducing her tongue to my own, and panting greedily upon our separation. Right there, that look in her eyes, it was the same monster that paid me a visit when I was in between her legs. Her hoof traveled up my shirt, feeling against the core of my abdomen. A greedy lust-driven smile appeared on her lips as she whispered down my throat. "I'll be looking forward to what you've learned."

...You know, I have to keep in mind that she's been practicing restraint for a thousand years, all of that while brewing up to be the horniest being in existence. And my breaking that dam probably destroyed any prior practice of said restraint. And seeing her look at me like this was terrifying, but also exciting and promising.

In three months, I'm going to need an orthopedic.

The morning was waning as the sun started to crest towards it's highest point. The barracks were mostly silent with the exception of a few drills being done outside. No guards stayed in barracks throughout the day unless they were either assigned a desk job, or they were assigned a security post at the front desk. But for many, they saw it as the one place their commanding officers could go about their day without needing to yell at anyone for the slightest show of incompetence. After all, most weren't really interested in micromanaging.

This especially included Colonel Crackdown, who's personality happened to be the exact opposite of what his name would heavily imply. He was a mellow individual with very little desire for cracking down on anything other than paperwork, and even that was done mainly so he could kick back in his chair and take a nap. Not much paperwork had been sent directly to him other than a few documents, some workplace grievances, some reports of misconduct, and psychological evaluations of guards who went through counseling.

The colonel look at the clock above the door and read the time to himself. He knew it was the usual hour for more of the psych evaluations to drop on his desk. "Come in."

And on cue, a young mare sporting a pair of glasses, a white coat, and a dark gray mane, and a red scrunchy at the base of her tail entered into the office. "Morning, Colonel."

He looked at what appeared to be another twenty folders of documents and groaned with disgust. "Ugh, more paperwork?"

"Just more of the recent psych evals." She replied with a cheerful smile. "Gotta make sure the guards are in top shape before sending them off to the lines."

"Drop 'em in the bin." He ordered, starting to open one of his drawers for a highlighter and a quill.

"Coffee, sir?" She asked, trying to offer the colonel some method of motivation.

"Just bring me the damn pot." He requested.

The mare walked out of the office while quickly noting his request. "I'll make it a double espresso."

As soon as the door closed, he glanced over to the pile of folders he had to carefully read through. His ear flicked, listening to the platoon outside in their drills, they all suddenly burst out in laughter. The stallion clenched his jaw in frustration. "I hate desk work."

He wouldn't bat an eye towards the door as he picked up the first folder off the top of the pile. "Bring it on in."

Another mare entered the office, this one sporting a Wonderbolts ceremonial uniform. Her raspy voice called out to the stallion anchored behind his desk. "Top of it to ya, Colonel."

He looked up to acknowledge the mare's presence and went back to work. "Captain Spitfire, I take it you're visiting for the results of your promotion evaluation."

"That and the other thing." She said.

He looked at his in-bin and shrugged. "Well on both items, that would be a 'wait and see'."

The mare closed the door behind her, sitting in one of his chairs. "So nothing since I applied for Dash to get filed in?"

"You know how this stuff goes, Spits." He answered in a monotone manner.

"You can't possibly say that there isn't any hope that she isn't getting on my squad. That Arimaspi Mountain deployment was a deal-sealer, if her various achievements in saving Equestria wasn't already considered."

The colonel agreed with her sentiment. "She's shown a lot of moxie, and of course loyalty to our country. I want her to get in as much as you do. But that can't happen as long as the higher ups don't approve it. And if you think my stack of paperwork ain't big enough, then head into one of their offices."

She glanced over, seeing that his pile paled in comparison to the many applications she had to go through for Wonderbolt candidates. She didn't seem too impressed by his relatively lean load. "You know with the uptick in activity, namely national threats, it would be ideal to up our numbers. I can't keep sending in recruits who'll try to win on style points, only just to get their wings broken or worse."

"I know, preaching to the choir. Take it to the higher-ups."

She stood from her seat and walked over to the pile of folders. She took a peak at some of the names on each tab. One name quickly stood out to her. "Huh, didn't know the rookie would be getting a psych eval."

"Rookie?" He questioned, not certain of whom she was addressing.

"Captain Nondis may have that rank cause of Shining's field promotion, but I still see him as the snot-nosed kid walking fresh on the line." She clarified, picking up the folder and dropping it on his desk.

That very same folder that just landed on his desk was the very thing that grabbed his attention. He quickly snatched the file and popped it open to the first page, almost as if he was looking for the next big scoop in entertainment. "The captain, that knucklehead got a file? Hell, it's about time."

As soon as he looked at the first page, the two ponies saw a black wax seal with the royal emblem on it. "Looks like a royal seal alright, seems to be a deferment." Spitfire pointed out.

"Well what the princess doesn't see, I look at in her place." He said, running through the file with vested interest.

"I see. Guess you wouldn't mind if I took a peek over and see what the rookie's been up to then." She said, leering over the desk, at least until his foreleg fell over the documents.

"That's not your paygrade. Stick to your game-day flyovers." He said.

Spitfire rolled her eyes and started slowly pacing around the office. "Gotta admit, I'm pretty curious on if the captain would actually say anything that could be outlined."

"Of course, the humans are always so damn perfect in the princess' eyes. I'm surprised she hadn't made a suitor of one of them like Princess Twilight did." He said as he skimmed through the first few pages towards the middle of the report.

While he was reading up, the Wonderbolt thought about what the young captain said to her in the midst of her own advances towards him. "Probably got beat to the punch. I know Princess Twilight was pretty possessive of him once he beat Shining Armor."

The colonel stopped talking, reading a passage a little more in depth. While he continued to skim through a few statements, he noticed a few that quickly grabbed his attention. He quickly grabbed his highlighter and started striking statements that appeared to alarm him. Once he was finished, he started reading the details around them. He then highlighted many more answers and questions that were brought up. "...Spits."

"What's up?" She asked.

The colonel glanced over to her and slid the open folder across the table. "Read this out loud, just so I know that I'm not going crazy."

"I thought this was supposed to be above my paygrade." She mockingly replied, all while snagging the folder to read off what he had highlighted. "Ongoing relationship with close associate, converses with her every breakfast and dinner, engaged in oral sex... sounds like a good time to me. Glad to know the rook's a cheerful giver."

The colonel brought up an important fact to consider in the context of what was reported. "The captain is issued orders to attend the dinner in the Royal Dining Hall."

"Yeah, and he's still the ex-suitor to Princess Twilight. Wouldn't be surprised if those two are just hitting it off in secret."

"Look at it again." He said.

She read up on the following details and then started to sit herself down, looking at the following pages for some confirmation of the colonel's suspicions. "Huh, says that Princess Twilight knows that he's seeing the other mare in question... That don't sound right, not Little-Miss-Possessive."

"The only ones who see the captain that frequently in those allotted time slots are royals. And Princess Luna is usually on the move at that time."

"Princess Cadance is married." Spitfire also pointed out. She narrowed down the choices in her head as she started to list off the mares who would normally be seen in that room. She started going down the list of Blueblood's wives, remembering that they weren't too interested in the human in any way that could be considered an attraction. She was left with one choice, the only one that would matter. "...So what's that about you being surprised that Princess Celestia hasn't already found a suitor?"

"That ain't the only thing. Look a little more." He said again, trying to nail the point home.

"Says here that he has another party whom he had sex with. Lucky bitch. And here he was talking to me like he was Mr. Modest while he's out there dipping flavors." Spitfire replied, continuing to read the statements that were highlighted.

"Seems to me that he might've entertained the princess a bit too much on his semi-nightly escorts to her quarters." Crackdown added. "I know that rumors started to circulate on yesterday morning about the princess being reported to have a secret suitor, someone who was seen lurking about the Corrotto District. But this really couldn't be him, could it?"

"This says he engaged in oral sex, are you sure that's THE Princess Celestia he did this to?" Spitfire questioned.

"Close associate, professional relationship turned personal, schedule that intervenes with their time together? The breakfast and dinner times is the main catalyst for what I'm thinking here. The captain is mandated to attend the dinner in the Royal Dining Hall every evening for security. And then I have to keep in mind that he─"

"I know I remember him having to take care of the princess while she was sick once. She sneezed on him that one time and she took him into her private quarters to make an apology. He was in and out of the room that day." Spitfire added. "But that was when he was still assigned under Little-Miss-Possessive."

"That's not the only time she's been under the weather this year." Colonel commented. "Usually her being ill takes place every few decades, her immune system is legendary for fending off diseases. But have you known the princess to ever be sick twice in a year, let alone three separate incidents?"

"I know she was sick on the eve of the New Year." Spitfire noted.

"A day she also assigned Captain Nondis a day off for a 'family holiday' that happened to fall on that same day. And it appeared that she was reportedly sick for twice in the previous month. One was with a sore throat so severe that she was unable to speak. The other was reported to be a bout of weakness, she said she was so tired that she couldn't even move from her bed. And Luna was very adamant that we did not disturb her or offer to check in on her. Remember the chaos that caused for us on New Year's Eve?"

"I remember that clunky and awkward speech Princess Luna gave. Should've just asked for a copy of the one Celestia usually made."

The two took a moment to think about what to do next. For the colonel, he felt that he had to act fast if what he believed was true, especially with the rumor circulating around the castle. "I'm gonna have the call that son of a bitch in."

Spitfire questioned the colonel one last time, making sure that he was certain of his suspicions before going out to commence a summons. "Are you sure the Princess may be romantically engaged with the captain? It could all be a coincidence."

"We called for his head after that joint meeting he tuned in late for, remember that? She was the first one to say that we should keep him locked in his position. That isn't a coincidence, that's taking one for the team."

The mare from earlier knocked on the door, entered the room, and placed a small cup on his desk. "Sir, your double espresso."

Crackdown took a sip and started sending out his orders. "Thank you. Now get me Captain Nondis. I want him in here before he can even think about enjoying his lunch break."

"Sir, he's already headed out into town. Checkpoint Alpha confirmed his departure." Raven answered.

Crackdown and Spitfire both looked at Raven. While she was assigned to send paperwork from the desk of the royal office directly to the barracks, she was seen as a dependable presence for the princess. At least once in the week, she would be by Princess Celestia's side, taking notes and making sure that she kept to her schedule. Spitfire took advantage of the opportunity. "Hey, have you been hearing rumors of the princess having a secret suitor lately?"

Raven shook her head. "I wouldn't know of any suitors that Princess Celestia would openly accept. I do know that she talks a lot about the humans and their world. She even suggested a few infrastructure changes that would revolutionize Canterlot as we know it. But as far as romance is concerned..." She paused for a second to think back on her time with her. "...Well in all honesty, I always wanted to see how she'd be with Captain Nondis or his older brother. I hear that Mr. Alex is particularly frequent with his ideas and exchanges with her, but I also hear that he's married."

Spitfire inquired the mare further. "Does she ever take a moment to dismiss you when the captain comes around?"

"I mean she does that with every guard she has a few choice words for."

"Okay, so there's nothing to you that stands out for those two in particular?" Crackdown questioned.

The mare started thinking off the top of her head. "...Actually, now that you mention it. I know he was assigned to her quarters for an early-morning wake-up patrol on Monday. He didn't like the early hours too much, but he was singled out for his rudeness. The other guards on that patrol for the morning were dismissed. And he was the only one there when I came to escort her to the dining hall."

"She assigned him to that patrol, not me." Crackdown quickly closed the folder.

"Holy hell, it's like watching the stars align." Spitfire whispered to herself.

Crackdown glanced between the two mares and ordered the two. "For now, the information you provided stays in this room. If he's in town, you get him back here before the end of the hour. This is a mandatory performance evaluation, and I will not take no for an answer. Raven, if you find anyone else that may have some similar experiences, you refer them to me. I know this isn't your field, but your cooperation is very much appreciated."

"I do what I can for Equestria and her majesty." She said, acknowledging his orders before leaving.

"Spits, can you send First Lieutenant Solemn Oath to my office? She's one of the first ones who dispelled the rumors going about. I need to know what she may know and how it was brought to her attention. I'll reread her status report and see if there's any changes in her story."

"Ah, there's the old Crackdown I remember."

Canterlot Row Teahouse
Meanwhile...

It was never a doubt in my mind that my plan would start to stir results. I'm sure by now the rumors would intensify, and with the block of evidence I so charitably distributed, it should grab the attention of one of the higher-ups. At least by doing this, I knew I could counter the possible play of Umbra throwing our business to the streets. I'm sure he wouldn't expect any of that to already be in circulation, at least not to the level that it should be reaching right about now. With that confidence, I took a stroll into town to meet with Rarity for our part of the plan to fall into play.

But something was off today. As I walked, I had gotten some looks from those I passed by. And very seldom am I stared down so often without a single word to greet me. It was very off-putting. Even when I had an occasional stroll through the streets, it wasn't without at least one single tabloid trying to get some information out of me. And they were a huge buyer of any comments I would've had about the royal family, or even some stuff about my world.

That was the strange part. Even when I sat down at the table, I couldn't help but to think to myself over what could've happened between yesterday and today. Perhaps the rumor had gotten much further than I had anticipated, maybe he even played the card that I offered to sabotage in his place. But still, that would easily drive many outlets to question me about it, asking if it was true or something that could be discredited.

Rarity soon approached the table, wearing her outing shades and an elegant hat to hide her face. On her back was a set of pink frilly saddlebags. She took notice of my demeanor. "My dear, you look distracted."

I continued to survey the area, seeing not a solitary head hiding in the bushes or at the tables nearby. "I'm a little curious. Usually there'd be everyone in the press trying to run up to me with every question in the book."

She removed the saddlebags and placed them on the table, a few magazines started to spill from within. "In speaking of questions, have you read the tabloids recently?"

Looking down, I could see my face littering a good amount of the headlines. "No, why?"

"Perhaps you need to take a gander at these then. All of this came out this morning." She urged, flipping the bags upside down to empty the contents all over the table.

I started to spread some of them out evenly, as if I was looking at a hand of cards. I started reading the headlines, the subtexts, and where the articles could be found. The first one had a picture of my profile, some of it covered in shadow. "Reprimanded: Captain Publicly Chastised by Princess. Is the honeymoon over for his adventurous escapades? Page 14." Another had my face after the changeling executions. "Good Boy Gone Bad: Captain Nondis More Frequently Called Out By Superiors. How hot is his seat? Page 31." The next one had a picture of Princess Celestia turning back to chastise me, namely it was the moment when I had snapped back at Blueblood for something he said. "Crumbling in Chaos: Captain Seen Harassing Princess. Page 21." I shook my head as I sat the three magazines aside. "This is all nuts."

"That's not even the worst of it." Rarity said, bringing up the ones that painted me in a darker perspective.

The picture was one of me approaching the doctor's office, looking somewhat distressed. "Captain Seeking Mental Therapy: Rapidly Deteriorating. Page 24." The next one was me taking a book off of a shelf during my visit to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. "Delusional: Captain Seen Reading Magic Books. Page 19." Next was a picture of me in the downtown park, sitting next to Single File. In atypical fashion, they blurred out the face of the young unicorn while keeping mine highlighted. "A True Threat: Non-magical being studying magic theory. Is there a hostile takeover in the works?" Another picture seemed to have me standing guard at a funeral, staring down at the casket of Count DuMoneé. A sneering smile seemed superimposed on my face. "Captain Coup: Speaks of System That Could Disenfranchise The Royal Family. Is Equestria safe? Page 35."

"That last one I don't believe." Rarity vehemently stated as I started to open that magazine to the suggested page.

"Captain Nondis spoke of a political ideology that could undermine the efforts of retaining the already dwindling royal influence and replace it with a three-branch system that highly favors legislators─the fuck. Many pundits believe such a system would create political instability, social unrest, and a system that limits the voting powers of the public─who the fuck wrote this bullshit, this is so out of context. The captain also advocates for the unlimited reelection of many controversial political mavericks, a system where the late Senator Count DuMoneé could keep his seat for a lifetime, or as long as he could redraw the districts."

Rarity pointed out the obvious. "In the means of getting the attention of the press, it seems somepony has already beaten you to the punch."

Goddammit. So that's why I'm being stared down to hell and back. This is more than just a play to make a measly dig at Celestia's expense, it's a complete attempt to assassinate my character in the idea to discredit me further in the eyes of my peers in the guard. This whole thing is designed to destroy any chance I may have to defend myself by attacking me from every possible angle. Not only that, it's to keep me isolated from the press by painting me as some criminal mastermind looking to close in on the royal family. The worst thing that comes from this is the fact that I'm supposed to be playing as if I don't like the royals. This gives too much of a red herring that many outlets would point to as some sort of motive. He's not trying to play the blackmail card like I thought. Instead, he played my own hand against me.

I'm in trouble.

I looked around and stuck my hand under my coat, summoning a black box. I slid it across the table and told Rarity what it was. "You said you wanted the same device as mine? I got you one. It's the newest model and it's under warranty. You studied the manual I gave you?"

"There's a lot of confusing language in it, but I got by with what I know."

"It's easier than it looks. Just make sure you keep this little tool on you." I said, introducing a stylus to her. "Don't be like me and wake up trying to use hooves to navigate a home screen.

"Hooves?" She questioned.

"Look, it was a long night." I simply explained.

Rarity quickly set herself up on her new phone and went straight for the camera. She took notice of how she could use it as a mirror, also pointing out the much improved quality the device had in contrast to my older phone. While she went rummaging through her custom settings, a voice called out from across the street. "Captain!"

Honestly, that was the first time anyone called out to me today. "Blue?" Even more surprising, the recognizable unicorn heiress trotted towards me, not wearing the usual smile indicating that she was thoroughly happy to see me wandering about. It seems that there is still some mode of nervousness about how our last interaction went.

"Captain, it's good to see you!" She glanced over to see the fashionista sitting across from me. The corners of her mouth shaped to a false smile. "And miss Rarity, how's the spot you've purchased?"

"A bit shaky at the front, but I suppose I'll take care of that when I start to expand a little more." Rarity replied.

"That's great!" She quickly dropped her facade and grabbed at my arm with her magic. "So... could you kindly let me borrow the captain for a moment? I need a few words with him, we'll be right back."

In seeing the sudden neediness of the mare, Rarity grew confused. "I... um..."

Looking around, I tried to keep up the appearance of the two of us being a couple. Allowing Blue to rip me away would compromise that to a significant degree. "Actually, Rarity and I were just having lunch together."

The heiress looked to the table, noticing the magazines strewn all over. "So you've read the headlines, huh? Not exactly what you were expecting?"

She levitated the one with the most damning allegations, easily capable of confirming multiple rumors that may be circulating around. "Yeah, these people are complete idiots if they believe all of this."

"But when multiple headlines come out about you, then there has to be some truth in it, right?" She said, waving the magazine around.

"It's all a bunch of lies, that's what it is." Rarity replied, seeming upset at the sudden media barrage aimed at me.

She slid the magazine back to the table while picking up another with yet another allegation against me. "I mean, the magic-book-reading thing is what you do. And anyone worth their salt in the field can tell you're as potent as any other unicorn."

"Dearie, there's no possible way that Nondis can use magic." Said Rarity, who tried to make the defense of my being naturally incapable to using magic as a means to deny the rumors, despite being one of the first ones to know of my advancement.

Blue, however, perceived the fashionista as incompetent to the situation. "Ms. Rarity, I would like for you to be excused."

Again, with good intentions, Rarity raised from her seat and walked by my side, grabbing my other arm with her magic as she leaned against me. "And while I do have appreciation for your business, Ms. Royal, I do have my special somepony to consider."

The look on Blue's face told me everything at that moment. She was about done with me, everything from the other night with Kalimba serving as an example to my sexual endurance, up to the way Kalimba joked about her upstaging her in that field, her growing jealousy on the matter, combined with Rarity looking to take the public press' attention, all of it was bringing her to a boil. One mare cut her eyes towards the other, Rarity smiled as she nuzzled me. I tried to quietly diffuse the tension. "Ladies, can we not be like this out here, in public?"

Blue was wasting no time with me. She was vehement, and it showed in the way she turned around. "Then I suppose our conversation has finished then."

Growing frustrated myself, I wanted her to understand that this wasn't anything against her and our partnership. "No, it hasn't. Just take a moment to listen to me."

Rarity stopped nuzzling me for a moment and asked me in an aggravated manner. "Alright, what are you two on about?"

"Goodbye, captain." She said, starting to storm off.

"Blue, wait." She stopped for a moment, just long enough to hear my response. "Rarity's in on it."

"In on what, darling?" The seamstress questioned.

Blue was not convinced. "She's not in on anything. I'm going to take my leave now."

At that point, Rarity suddenly confirmed some evidence of what I was talking about. "Oh, do you mean that zebra mare you have staying in Ponyville?"

The heiress looked back for a moment as I pleaded with her. "Blue, let's just talk here."

The mare started walking off again. "I will contact you later."

Before she could get too far away, I reached my hand out and grasped at one of her hind legs. She looked down to see a white aura tugging against her leg, all being traced back to the glowing hand I reached out with. "Blue... please."

Seeing how far I was about to compromise my secret, she turned around and quickly dispelled the hold I had on her. Marching up to me, she angrily chided me for being reckless. "You're a bold one to be using that in public."

I pointed back to Rarity. "She knows of my magic training, she knows of Kalimba, she knows what I'm doing as an extension to all of this."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Oh, you mean that little stint. Why didn't you say that from the start?"

Blue narrowly glared at me before trotting over to Rarity. "And? I'm supposed to trust you?"

I vouched for the seamstress' presence in our talks. "She's my friend, and she's helped me along the way throughout all of this, she makes my clothes, she cooks me food sometimes, I even stayed with her for a little while. She got me connected with some of the high-class members of society. Without her, we would've never met. She's on our side."

She aimed her attention back to me momentarily, giving me a firm warning. "None of that matters, she's going to get hurt messing around with us."

"If you two are talking about your stint in Corrotto, I was let in on it by Kalimba. All of the girls were." Rarity quietly chimed in to verify her knowledge.

The real estate mogul approached the up-and-coming seamstress, thinking of her connection to the wealth and influential members of Canterlot society. She was already seen as a national hero to quite a few, but Blue had her suspicions of how she really thought of any of this. Oddly enough, she decided to question her on a topic that was more personal to her own experience. "What is your opinion of Count DuMoneé?"

In many high-class social circles, Count was often seen as a gray topic of discussion. Even in death, they would refuse to speak on him loudly or publicly, especially of his track record. Anyone who would be seen talking ill of him felt that their status could be compromised. It wasn't because of his political stance, but rather the favors and association they had with him in life. Each of them had at least one encounter with the deceased senator. So anything as much as a peep about how they didn't like the guy, it could be countered with some of their competitors or adversaries making mention of a past interaction. In honesty, that fact alone made me curious as to just how deep the rabbit hole goes with that asshole.

As far as Rarity was concerned, she took a deep breath and loudly called him out. "That arrogant, manipulative, sadistic son of a bitch, tainting my poor little Spikey-wikey into trying to murder Nondis in his sleep! I hope his hell is the most unpleasant experience his soul will have to endure!" ...She had no prior attachments to anchor her down, she even made her ire known to him in person, in front of several witnesses. Not only that, but her affection towards me and her friendship with Spike was a pressing motive to her response.

And Blue took an outstanding observation of that. "...I like your answer." She replied with a growing smirk.

"Look, we all have a hate boner for that asshole. What else is new?" I said with a dismissive shrug.

Rarity sat back at the table, pulling one of the magazines up to read the contents. "So since we're talking Corrotto business, I take it that the recent rush of media railing has something to do with it."

"Yes. More than." Blue confirmed, taking a seat at the table along with us.

"That's not a good thing. So let's look at what might have caused this." Rarity suggested.

I already had an answer. "That son of a bitch Umb─"

Blue jumped up and stretched herself across the table, planting a hoof against my mouth to stop me from speaking. "Not. Here." She replied, having that same stressful terror in her eyes as she did when Umbra was harassing her. "Look, there's a golden rule to being in the club. And that's to never say his name in the open street. No matter who you are, he'll find you, and he'll make you wish you were never born."

I waited for her hoof to raise from my lips before speaking. "What happened to the last guy who did?"

She slouched back into her chair, starting to shudder as she glanced to me with those same eyes. "...Just don't. Please."

I shook my head, pulled out my phone, and began to type his name in a notepad app. "Well you said we can't speak his name, what about writing it?"

She continued to plead with me. "Even then. Don't."

I looked around and I grabbed Rarity's phone, texted myself her number, sent the message back to her and instructed Rarity to read the screen to herself silently. "Well what he can't control or knows about won't set his alarm off."

"I see now." Rarity nodded, acknowledging that the name had been noted for future reference. "So what's the plan?"

"Ms. Rarity, I truly don't feel comfortable getting you involved in this." Blue tried to warn her before a sudden voice caused all three of us to startle.

I looked to the street, seeing a trio of guards marching up. One guard approached me directly. Just their immediate appearance had me clutching at my chest, thinking about Blue's warning. I took a quick breath and addressed the trio. "Hey boys, what's the deal from the castle?"

The guard who approached then notified me of their purpose for being here. "Captain Nondis, you are to report to Colonel Crackdown's office effective immediately."

"Can I ask what for?"

"Matters pertaining to your current status. You're being investigated."

While the three of us were looking at one another, Blue clenched her eyes, already imagining what consequences could be in store for me. Rarity had asked herself quietly. "What in Equestria is this?"

I held my hands in the air, showing no weapons and submitting myself to avoid confrontation. "What am I being investigated for?"

"Classified." The guard announced.

The other two mares stared in dead silence as I started walking off. I briefly turned to them and informed them of my next course of action. "Rarity, I'll shoot you a text later. For now, you two can talk about it while I take a little walk to the barracks. Don't worry about me too much, I'll be fine."

As I walked off, Blue was already sulking on the situation, shivering and whimpering to herself. "...Not again. He's gonna make us watch that again. I don't want to see that again."

Rarity grew concerned and questioned the mare. "Darling... what did he make you see?"

"...Please don't ask."

My escort only consisted of two other guards, who quietly marched me directly to the office of the Colonel. As soon as I arrived outside of this door, I could see a certain mare donning silver armor. Her head slowly turned to me before she smirked and chuckled to herself. As soon as the other two escorts were dismissed, she took the liberty to speak her peace.

"Another performance evaluation? It's almost as if you don't want the job."

Honestly, I don't even know why she's so abrasive with me in particular. Even most of the guys who felt my job could've went to someone else isn't even this ugly in the attitude department. I shook my head at her. "Another time you're sitting here railing me? It's almost as if you're mad that you weren't given the job."

The mare extended her neck, poking her head out to me in a condescending manner, squinting her eyes all the while. "You keep this up, the princess will have a captain who will actually be there when it's truly needed."

As she did that, I couldn't help but to notice a purple mark hiding under the side plating of her helmet. It appeared quite sizable, too big to indicate a measure of kinky foreplay. A training accident, perhaps. "What happened to your neck?"

She withdrew from how close she was getting to me. Turning herself around, she denied me any further views of her bruise. "I was protecting the princess last night from a group of thugs. They threw rocks at her. If you were on your job, maybe you'd know what it's like to stand in the line of duty when it really matters."

...Sometimes she really tests my patience. "Any of them hit her?"

She wouldn't let me see her face as she slowly confessed her answer. "One."

I wagged my finger at her. "Then you ain't doing your job right."

The mare appeared highly offended that I had disqualified her efforts. "I had a magic shield─"

I then proceeded to explain to her what should've been done in any exercise. "No excuses, First Lieutenant Oath. If you were on your job, maybe the princess wouldn't have gotten hit when it really matters. Hostile crowd, phalanx formation around the princess at all times. If you can't follow basic protocol, then don't start talking like you know how to do my job and get the fuck out of my face." That latter part was more of my anger taking hold.

"You don't know what it's like to operate in the moment." She launched back.

"Yeah, sure." I sarcastically replied, thinking of the few skirmishes I've managed to survive.

Before our volume could get any higher between us, the colonel's voice boomed from behind the door. "Captain! In my office, NOW!"

As I opened the door, I could hear her whisper next to me. "Sounds like unemployment's just around the corner."

"You're obsessed, lady." I said before closing the door on her.

Upon entering, I notice that there was not a seat to be offered. The only thing that seemed to stand between the door and the colonel was his desk and the rug laying on the floor. The only think I could do was approach quietly and await any questions he may have about my evaluation.

While I stood there, a lot started to wander through my mind. Everything starting from the conversation I had with Rarity and Blue in town, to even the mare outside of the room, waiting for her next chance to gloat about my current circumstance. And since she was the freshest thing on my mind, I couldn't help but to let my anger come to a soft boil while waiting for the colonel to say something. For a while he stared back at me, seeing how tall I was and how quiet I had become since entering. He opened a drawer on his desk and pulled out a small vial of special blue ink alongside a black quill. He also laid out a sheet of parchment with a series of open boxes to put down notes. He glanced over to the right side of his desk, slid a manila folder in front of him next to the report he was filing.

"Alright, let's get this over with." He said, flipping the folder open. "I read your recent psych eval. Apparently you have some problems that need some intervention. I don't know about you, but I don't take too fondly that you're sitting around here keeping tally of who all you're getting involved with. That's not the conduct we approve of in our establishment, and it sure as hell isn't one of an officer of your stature."

I wanted to breath a sigh of relief, it was only about what I wanted this to be. Though I admit that even this was a bit much in the grand scheme of things. One wrong answer and my plan could backfire into a garage filled with kerosene vapors. I had to play safe. "With all due respect, sir. This issue is why I've talked to the counselor about it. I'm trying to get myself to a more stable place."

He dipped his quill into the ink and talked a little more. "The reason for your original request of submission was because of any psychological problems you had dealing with your deployments. Any personal problems like this are an example of what we call auxiliary issues. We're trying to keep you on your job."

For something like this, it's not even considered a topic worth discussion. I've seen many mares and stallions─guards of course─get a few run-ins with the hospitality staff in the castle. Even sometimes catch a quiet couple or two chatting it up while on watch. As long as it isn't sexual harassment, the higher-ups don't give two shits who you're fucking. Of course that changes in the officer's bracket, where I stand currently towards the bottom. Even then, the prestige that came with this job in particular is something the higher officers don't want being tarnished in any way. But even then, I'm seeing help. That only means one thing, he's taking the bait. "Well sir, then I don't see how this is worth calling me to your office over."

Colonel stressed his point. "It's what you're doing, it's the scandal that could ensue, it's the idea of this getting out that could hurt the image of the princess' decisions, thus a reflection on her judgement to keep you in this position."

"Well even then, my talking to the doctor on it is my first step to resolving the issue." I answered, feigning oblivion to what he's suggesting.

"Admirable choice, but I can't help but to observe the language that was used and what was said on the matter."

I feigned confusion. "Sir, I request that you clarify your accusation."

He quickly sifted through the documents that were in the folder, lifting up a single page of findings before explaining himself. "It says here that you said that you had gotten into a personal relationship with someone you stated to also have a professional relationship with."

He bit. "To be fair, I started in that situation with my being a suitor. My job was to protect the princess, I was dating one of them at the time. As you can recall, the two of us have separated in November."

"It also noted that your ex, Princess Twilight herself, had approved of the relationship." And just like that, he's hooked in like a bass.

"She does." I confessed.

He started jotting notes of his on, the colonel. Before I could ad any further detail, he went on to question me all while writing down my answers. "This individual you seem to have mixed relations with is also someone you talk to during the breakfast and dinner hours. I should note that you are stationed in the royal dining hall during those hours."

In the nature of a snagged fish, he began to pull at my line. "That I am."

He then pulled out another folder, this one being brown with the crinkles down the sides. He seemed to pull out something that looked like a medical report. "And apparently this started over a dinner date. I also highlighted the fact that the ones you came to recognize first were the princesses. Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance and Princess Twilight. You were a suitor to Princess Twilight, broke off from her, and now you're involved with another one of the first individuals you've met."

At that point, it was time to start pulling the line in. "Sir, are you insinuating that I am seeing another royal? That seems to be the clues you're giving me."

The colonel started to speak in a quiet voice, standing from his desk as he gave me a strong warning. "Son, don't nopony around here get as much access to the princess as you often do. You take her to her quarters every other night, you stay by her side when she falls ill, the only creature to have done that twice in their LIFETIME, and she has exclusive access to your world. If I can see the writing on the wall, I'm gonna call it like it is. You cited that you two had crazy schedules, the princess' schedule is hectic. You were often left alone with her for disciplinary measures, frequently called out by her, frequently escorting her, and most frequently engaging in a back-to-back sequence with her. And from other reports I've called in, they all say the same thing."

I couldn't act in any way that would've been disrespectful, but I couldn't help but to stifle a chuckle or two. "So are you saying that I could be dating a princess?"

"Not saying, knowing." He correctly deduced. "Having that said, it also says that you've engaged in oral sex with her. It also notes that you had another mare you've slept with in the past forty-eight hours. To me, that sounds like you're acting on the Saving Grace Clause implemented to allow a suitor any extramarital engagements to alleviate their frustrations."

"Yeah, that's a thing." I easily confirmed. "But from what I've gathered, they don't like to actively allow that privilege."

The quill carried on and on with it's notations. The colonel walked in front of me, even standing on his desk to get a better chance of looking me in my eye while he spoke. "So... with all of that being said and done, I'm going to order that you cease and desist this relationship effective immediately, or face a summons that will immediately terminate your employment."

One final scrape on the paper behind him indicated the final scribble of his signature. With the ink still wet, he showed me the parchment he wrote out. Looking at it, I then realized that what he signed was a misconduct report, something given to those who were accused of sexual harassment. And given that he quietly issued this to me was pretty much his way of saying that I could quietly put an end to it before it gets worse. He seems to be trying to protect the image of the guard by doing this, but he's really trying to cover me by offering it to me without a word to the higher-ups.

I took the paper and read it to myself as he whispers. "You want my honest opinion, you're quite possibly the most powerful guard we've had in the ranks since the first captain himself. Though even he got took out when shit got too big for him to deal with. Son, you are bright. You have a future. The words and the way you speak, you could lead a whole country to war even if your only weapon was a paper clip. But I can't let you waste this. Believe me, kid. A lot of us dream of having a princess to come home to. But this is the trouble you don't want. You'd sooner spend a night in Canterrot than get caught fucking around with a royal AFTER getting placed on the restriction list. But it don't have to be this way, just sign that, I'll relocate you to wherever you want. I'd rather keep you where you are, than to have that knucklehead outside taking your place."

I looked at the parchment another time, feeling genuinely disappointed in myself to an extent. Here's the corporal trying to do whatever he could to salvage my career, and I'm gonna have to lie to his face. But it's too late to think on that level of morality. I know what I'm fighting, I know what I'm against, and I fear disappointing the princess more than I do disappointing him. I continued to commit to my act. "You know, I can't really agree to do this because of the fact that the princess you think I'm dating has no interest in me."

The stallion levitated the brown folder up to my chin. "These accounts beg to differ."

I took the folder and quickly glanced through some of the documents. "What accounts?"

"Unnamed guards who have seen you two together on frequent occasion."

"And I take it that Solemn Oath happened to be one of these accounts." The folder was indeed filled with a few anonymous reports, but there weren't that many to initiate an investigation, basically three guards who might have seen me get in trouble and get pulled aside. But all that meant is that I should be a little more careful about how I interact with Celestia and how frequently I do so. Unfortunately that part would be a bit hard if wasn't for the fact that Celestia was so damn insatiable behind closed doors, not to mention how often I'm isolated per her own instruction.

"I ask you again, captain. Cease and desist."

I glanced over to the table and pointed at the manila folder sitting next to the ink vial. "Could I possibly read the eval for myself?"

He levitated it to me. "It's your eval, I can't refuse."

I immediately went to the parts that he had highlighted and nodded in confirmation at my own statements. And just as I rehearsed with myself throughout the course of the past twenty-four hours, I weaved my net of lies to discredit the findings. "Oh, okay. I see why you would think that. But allow me to clarify a misunderstanding. I have a device called a cell phone that can be used to communicate with anyone of my choosing at any time I so wish. So if I wanted to call one of my friends to talk with them, I can. If I can shoot a text to someone, almost like I'm sending a letter in the mail to someone, I can. They could respond to me in less than a minute, sometimes within seconds. And if I wanted to shoot anyone a text during a certain time of day, I can."

While colonel was savvy to the statements I gave, he was also made aware of the potency of human technology. He even watched from within the barracks my demonstration on the motorcycle. And the barebones of my phone's capabilities have been documented to the media. In short, anything I say can be taken at face value as long as it involves human technology. "So you're saying that you don't talk to the princess?"

I then proceeded to lie in his face apologetically, but not really. "With all due respect, she's like a thousand years old. I don't even see myself going down on something that ancient. We're talking about dust, cobwebs, mummies, and booby traps. That is a certified negative from me. Second, my girlfriend and I have been talking about spending time together for months, but because she's often so busy with her growing business in Ponyville, we can't connect like we want to. Today was the first time in a while where we could actually meet up in person and enjoy each other's company, but this whole process just put a nix on that."

Even though my phone argument had merit, he didn't believe that I was actually out on a lunch date. "I'm sure it has."

Once more, I played to my strengths, weaving more webs to entangle my future self. "Also, I'm a known womanizer. My brothers and I have been notorious for womanizing throughout our lives. I'm learning slowly how to drop out of it since the options are actually there this time. My being Twilight's suitor had me locked away with so many restrictions, so many rules and guidelines, I couldn't even activate my Saving Grace Clause because both Princess Celestia and Princess Cadance had intervened in our relationship so frequently. It just so happens that Cadance was more of the enforcer than Princess Celestia was."

Another lie buried in a truth pie. "I see."

"Look, in my world, we date who we wanna date. We don't have marriage laws that prevent us from dating who we love. We don't have guidelines on who we can fuck, as long as they're above a certain age. We don't have laws telling us we have to love a certain kind of way. We live in a society that's free of that. Our founding principles are the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. None of this extra marriage bullshit would fly in our country, so it was already hard enough to get me to even agree to that bullshit of a marriage law. And having gone through that shit once before, I'm not doing it again. I don't care how cute Twilight can be at times, I'd rather fuck her friends than go through all that bullshit again. I nearly lost my fucking legs from all of that shit, I'm not down to wasting another year of my life trying to feel sorry for someone in that royal position. Loving a royal is way too much trouble, I tried it, and I walked away with the message loud and clear: It's not worth it."

The way I worded my reasoning had come from a mix of experience and a tad bit of observed douchebaggery... mainly from my old self. As long as I can continue to play my feigned role of disliking the royals while working with them in the shadows, it works. Me putting my love life of the princess out there was originally meant to counter Umbra possibly starting the rumor to get me to do whatever he wanted. It didn't work the way I wanted, and now I had to play damage control much faster than anticipated. "Well then. You're verifying that you're actually dating..."

And now I pull him out of the water. "Rarity, I'm dating Rarity. The reason Twilight approved was because Rarity and I had liked each other for a time. The reason why I wanted this to be a quiet affair was because I didn't want it to be a distraction from her work."

At that moment, he seemed uncertain and confused. Crackdown was anticipating that I'd just confess to my secret relationship with the high princess, but my curve ball caught him swinging. "But I thought it was you and Princess Celestia. All the clues lined up for that, the busy schedule, the period you could talk to one another, the first ones you met─"

I also pointed out what I said in the report, something he failed to highlight completely. "I said that she was there from day one. Rarity was there on day one, not the first one I've met, but she was there from the first day I woke up to being in this world. She made my clothes from the second week on out. The first outfit she made was a tunic and a pair of pants that didn't take my anatomy into consideration. I walked around Ponyville naked that one day. The next outfit she made was a tux, Twilight threw up on it after she had gotten drunk. I served as her model, her errand boy, and we grew as friends from that moment on. Rarity made dinner for me that day too, she rewarded me on a job well done. We started exchanging ideas on what I could wear, how it could express who I was. We grew from that."

As I continued on and on, I drew him from the water and up into the air, dangling right above my net. "Hmm... But those accounts─"

I placed both folders onto the table. "Every girl I do something nice for, it always turned into something like that. I was nice enough to console Twilight after losing out on Flash Sentry, she wanted me then. I stood up for Pinkie Pie against her ex-boyfriend, she wanted me then. A mare I helped get out of a troublesome situation recently, she jumped on top of me that night. Hell, I save my best friend from a shitty abusive relationship, Melanie... For years it was me wanting her while she had no interest, and now it's her wanting me while I have no interest. That's just the game, man. As far as what the other guards are seeing, I'm just doing my job while trying to keep the princess awake and alive."

"And you didn't tell Ms. Rarity that you got involved with this other mare?" He pointed out.

"We started talking about it during lunch, but then you guys came along. You may not believe me, but I can call her up and see if you'd like to talk to her right now." I replied, pulling out my phone. I dialed up Rarity's number and placed it on speaker.

In the matter of seconds, she answer. "Hello, dear?"

"Hey, sweetheart, how's the tea?"

The mare replied on the other end. "Cold. I have not partaken since you've left me in the Square. I'm beginning to feel neglected. What's going on over there?"

"It's me and the colonel having a quick chit-chat. Are you heading to the station anytime soon? I can try to walk you back if it's okay for you."

"Nondis darling, I wanted time and tea. Now all I have is tea, but no time or you to go with it." She angrily replied.

"Sorry, business stuff." I explained.

The mare sighed on the other side of the line. "I guess we'll try again some other time."

"I'll be there to escort you to the station shortly. Might even give you an express ride over there." I suggested, offering her a motorcycle ride.

Even if she was upset, she wasn't going to refuse the idea. "...Fine. I'll see you when I see you."

"Alright then. Bye."

Three beeps indicated the end of the call. And just like that, he was convinced of my relationship status. "Well I sure hate that I interrupted your date."

I pretended to shrug it off, relieved that he took what I gave him. "Sir, shit happens. I know the game and how it goes, that's life. But to clarify, no I'm not dating Princess Celestia. She warm to my older brother anyhow. Only reason why she won't go for him is because he's already married." Another bit of the status quo to go around. That should seal the deal with all of the superiors. And a submitted report would actually take some of the heat off of me, at least until they decide to investigate the other rumors circulating the tabloids.

The colonel extended a hoof for me to shake. "Captain, I believe an apology is in order."

I gave him his hoof shake and picked him up off of the table, sitting him to the floor. "Nah. Tell you what, Saturday, I'll bring around a few beers from my world. We'll sit around and talk about our differences in structure, military, family, knock back a few cold ones, maybe even explain a little something about the weapons I use."

The colonel was left speechless for a moment, staring at me after I had removed the foundation from under his hooves. He stared and blinked at me for a few seconds before shaking himself out of it. "Look, just try to stay out of trouble, captain."

"That's not the problem sir. It's the trouble that finds me." I replied jokingly to lighten the mood.

With everything that was said, he closed the folders and resumed his usual load of paperwork. He summoned a pair of reading glasses and motioned for my dismissal. "Alright, get back to work." I saluted him, he saluted back, I left the room.

Exiting the room, I could see Solemn Oath salute towards the passing party of Princess Celestia and an entourage of city council members. Along with them was a muted Alabaster, who only shifted his eyes to acknowledge my presence. But once he saw me and looked back off, he went back to casually laughing with the crowd. I was impressed by his inability to miss a single beat of the conversation. The princess glanced over to me and saw me coming out of the room. I gave a quick salute to the princess, who appeared stern to me. "Captain, I see you are present and accounted for."

"Not a moment late, your highness." I said, faking a lack of enthusiasm.

She looked at my wardrobe and clicked her tongue. "Your daily wardrobe inconsistencies do not allow you to look the part of the position I've assigned you. What happened to the uniform I commissioned for you?"

"Your highness, I was informed that uniform was a CDU." Ceremonial dress uniform.

"Then perhaps armor would be more suitable to your purpose." The other guests covered their muzzles as they watched the princess express her dissatisfaction. Alabaster just quietly watched as the princess continued to chide me. "So I will commission for a suit of armor for you to wear around the castle. I cannot allow you to not appear the part of a distinguished member of my military."

"Yes, your highness." I said quietly.

The princess stared at me a little while longer before taking two steps towards me. "I expect more enthusiasm, captain."

"I could not be more honored, your highness." I said a little louder.

My phone dinged like a glass, telling me that I was sent a message on Instragram. I maintained my discipline to not pay it any mind. The princess' voice popped in my head. "You should read that one when you are alone. Hang in there."

She stepped away from me and went back to chatting with her party. The group slowly faded down the hall, seemingly talking about some security measures for an upcoming ball taking place the next week. I wonder what the hell they got piped in for next week anyways.

"I guess you've been warned." Declared little miss annoying.

I turned to her and knelt down. "You know, I heard a few mumblings on Celestia having a suitor, I just never thought that I'd be the first accusation. Funny thing is, he's actually a pony." I pointed out, further fanning the flames of mystery.

The mare narrowed her eyes as she pointed a hoof at me. "...I've seen the rumors of you studying magic books, learning our source material. I've got my eye on you."

"Keep your eyes on the princess, maybe she won't find another rock barreling her way. Just try doing that much, please." I replied.

"At least I was present and accounted for in that situation. What does that make you?" She asked mokingly.

"The final solution. Now get the fuck out of my way, I've got a train to catch."

I walked off, leaving the condescending mare behind. As I left the barracks, I pulled out my phone and immediately scrolled to my inbox. The princess left me a message on my DM, one that particularly her brand of teasing me.

God knows the can of worms I've opened with this one. She looked as if she was trying her best to entice me. The look in her eye was subtle, but the blush on her face was telling. That mare knew what she was doing in taking this picture, she probably had thoughts of me taking another dive on her as she took this picture. If yesterday's wall-pressing was any indication, I was going to need to schedule that orthopedic appointment a few months in advance.

On that note, I walked my bike outside, started the engine, kicked up dirt and hauled ass out of the checkpoint.

I scooped up Rarity and dropped her off at the train station, only to find that my timing was a bit off. As a result of my departure from the barracks, we both arrived at the platform to see the train smoking and chugging along to Ponyville. Rarity didn't like the idea of having to wait another two hours for the next train, so I offered to give her a ride there myself. She looked at me and assumed that I was crazy to be offering her a ride on the purring monster we rode in on. She also made a quiet glance at me, telling me that I should keep the ride as smooth as possible.

I looked back at the cobblestone street and shook my head, not a chance.

She and I rode off, jolting off at the entrance of the station. As she hollered at our sudden acceleration, she grasped at my coat, holding on to whatever pocket she could latch herself into. I did my best to pay her little mind outside of keeping her onboard, that and making sure that I didn't run into anyone or anything. After leaving the main entrance to the city, the road soon became a bit smoother. The dirt path was just fine for me to kick in the fourth gear.

As for her reaction, Rarity was screaming and hollering throughout the first few minutes until she saw the world closest to us wiping by her, all while the scenery of the distance remained almost stationary. But the shriveled weeds and dying grass that lined the path had been but a blur to us. For a time, she was silent, just watching as the world zip by. We looked over and saw the train coming to a complete stop on one of the rail lines leading to the lower mountainside. Along with the train was a troop of worker ponies, hauling rocks from within the tunnel it was about to pass through. She taped me on my side, yelling into my ear in an attempt to ensure she was heard. "That's the train that just left!"

"Yeah, that would've took you two hours on a good day anyhow." I loudly replied over the engine.

As we continued, we ran into a tunnel filled with enchanted crystals lighting the way of the path. Each side was closed off until a certain point where white-painted stone columns started to grant us a peak to the outside world. So while one side was revealing brilliant crystals hidden within the rocks on the mountainside, the other gave us a view of what it was like to be so far up. The guided rails were welded steel to ensure any travelers would not stumble and meet with an unwanted demise.

Seeing the wrought rods in between appear as a hazy blur, she gazed out to take in the sight of a few pegasi flying far overhead, swooping down to dare themselves against the mountain, an entourage of thrill-seeking fliers gambling their lives for the rush of adrenaline of narrowly avoiding death and injury. As the air opened above us, the painted stone archway revealed the clear winter sky. The world below was a beautiful sight, snow decorated the cities off in the distance while the world around them was just just a little less brown. Even the paths on the mountain was spared from the snow and ice. And in the distance, I could see Cloudsdale hovering high into the air, pumping out white fluffy clouds in it's wake. The clouds above almost resembled that of what was sitting on the ground. The mare behind me giggled with glee, tapping my sides like an excited child. "Nondis! Look over there!"

"Yeah, I see it. It's pretty strange to me." I said.

"Howcome?" She asked.

"Well in my world, we don't control the weather, remember?" I replied. "If it snows, everyone's getting it."

The mare shook her head. "Well it can't be everywhere at once!, a snowstorm covering an entire continent doesn't seem likely!"

"Yeah, but here it looks like each town is it's own little snow globe. We don't get that over in our world."

"Maybe you haven't taken the step back to see what it looks like from a distance." Rarity replied.

"Still doesn't change anything. A snowstorm in my world would blanket Canterlot, Ponyville, Everfree, Cloudsdale, and possibly make it's way to Manehattan if the wind's pushing it right." I rebutted.

The mare scoffed. "Well I don't believe you."

"Well you'll find out eventually." I answered back to her disbelief.

Riding along, we reached the base of the mountain far quicker than the train normally would. Along our straight shot to Ponyville, Rarity bundled in a little closer to me. Her hooves wrapped around my waist as much as she could as she held on to me, especially since I was pushing a good sixty on the relatively smooth path. But the closer to town we got, the rougher the road started to become, the more I had to slow down.

And because the road was particularly rough there, we were experiencing a few more bumps. For a while, Rarity didn't complain about it. In fact, she didn't seem to react to it much. But as the road got closer to home, she started clenching her hooves around me. I glanced back to see her leaning into me, but she was nudging slightly forward. Her haunches were bouncing against the vibrating seat, her hips rocking back and forth. When she noticed I was paying attention, her ears turned a shade of red before she gave me a playful glance.

That moment on, she held very little reservations of how she moved herself in public outside of ourselves coming to a standstill. And to her purpose, the roads in Ponyville were pretty uneven. Some bumps managed to entice her a bit, while others caused her to bite her lip at the thought of finally getting home. Knowing her, she'd probably calculate the extra hour
she now had at home instead of riding on the train. She knows we have a moment to ourselves as soon as the ride stops at her boutique.

And she jumped at it.

Keys slid out the ignition, my collar was dragged in, Rarity slammed the front door, she jumped in my arms like a cat, pinned me down with her lips, quickly undid my pants, laid me out onto the floor, and invested the time we had in reconnecting. Of course, her version of reconnecting was more of her showing me just how much she missed me.

I won't even lie, I missed her too. I missed being able to slap her on her cutie marks, watching her gasp in reaction to it and ride me even harder, I missed when she told me to coil her mane around my forearm and make her self-destruct. I missed the interaction she had with me as soon as I started pleasing her horn. She probably missed me for some other things as well, I bet she hadn't had the company of a stallion since we last explored one another. I'm sure the idea of my being in another relationship was motivation to her. I know she was very competitive with Pinkie and Twilight when it came to me, but she was another vixen today.

We were cold from the ride in, the boutique was cold from the air being off, no one was home to start and watch a fire, and she left a creamy white stain on my upholstery. We didn't waste any time on the foreplay, we were already heated. To her, our ride here was more than enough to turn her on. Just the idea of her grinding on my seat had given rise to my already-charged sex drive. It was just us walking in and making a mess right there on the checkered tile of the foyer.

The best thing about Rarity is that she communicates to me what gives her the best outcome for the situation. With the others, I'm usually left guessing. Sometimes I may be a bit much on some things, and my partner may not say if it hurts too much or if they want something a little more tame. Starlight is all about coddling you and taking charge, she'd probably preferred it if you just keep quiet. Kalimba likes dominating, she calls the shots, she makes things up on the go, but she also likes tenderness in between. Luna likes to see what she can get away with, that's it for her. Celestia, I'm sure she has a lot she wants to show me about herself. But from what I know with these past few days, I beginning to think she likes the unavailability of the moment, the wait, the anticipation, the mounting frustration of being so close and yet so far. Twilight, she's willing to explore, but she's new, just as I am. The only difference between me and her is solely on Rarity.

Each of our sessions are a learning experience. Today's was matching the rhythm of the rider. If her hips dropped, I raise mine. If she retracted, then I ease off. If I fall out, we realign and slow the tempo. And once we have a good consistency, we get back up to speed. When she rocks her hips forward, it means she's recovering. If she stops, she's calming herself down. And if she leans in against my chest, she's close to the breaking point. If she says this... "Don't stop." Then I've gotten the tempo right, don't get excited and try to rush her to the moment, she wants that same speed. Even if I felt close, keep that pace.

...I also learned when she hops off of me in a panic, she'll embed both hindlegs into my stomach. That part wasn't fun.

Rarity rushed to the door as I caught glimpse of her younger sister walking away from the window. At that point, I was enacting the same fight-or-flight measure to hide my goods from the view of the young filly. That was a whole moment of understanding just why Rarity was using my torso as a rug. Even though I was still wearing my clothes, the rush almost had me fumbling over my belt loop.

Rarity at least made sure I was good to go before opening the door. "Oh, um... Sweetie Belle, what a pleasant surprise."

The young filly trotted inside, explaining her sudden appearance to her older sister. "Dad dropped me off, he says that I should spend some time with you today because of my anestrus ending. He says something about you teaching me about my newfound sense of smell." While she sniffed around, the young filly recoiled from a certain scent. "And now I know why the whole hygiene thing is so important."

"Oh fuck me." The seamstress whispered to herself before fixing her mane back into some resemblance of her daily appearance. "Nondis, I'm afraid we'll have to get your measurements some other day. It seems that Sweetie and I need to have a bit of girl time."

I appeared conflicted, more confused over the language the young filly spoke. "Anestrus? What the hell is that? Heard of estrus, but not that."

Rarity was about to speak before Sweetie Belle shoved her over with seemingly the strength of a linebacker. The young filly spoke proudly as she slowly walked towards me. "Anestrus is the period where a young foal is inactive to the reproductive features they're to soon grow into. The end of that cycle is where one discovers some of the features of their body either grow uncontrollably, or ache and itch constantly, namely for me, it's my─."

Rarity teleported next to her sister, covering her mouth with a hoof as she frantically staved me away. "Nondis, you should take a leave on that note."

I looked down to see the young filly opening her mouth to bite the foreleg of her older sister. "Gotcha."

While the two started to fight and argue over I guess their disapproval of one another, I quickly gathered my shit and popped back on my bike, hit the road, and didn't look back. With the way Sweetie acted, there was no doubt in my mind she was watching. But I wasn't gonna ask about it. And like hell I was gonna stick around for that fight to end. I sure as hell didn't want to find out if anyone else had watched us.

Especially her dad, I hope he didn't see us going at it.

Later That Evening...

After I got back to Canterlot, I regained my focus on my assignments. My shift went on as per usual, if not a little later to make up for lost time. I immediately went to dinner, hear from the others how their day went, and went about my own way. I went to my room, laid out, started thinking about my day. I got a few more messages from Celestia, and we had a brief exchange with one another. I'll admit, this was probably the easiest option to speak with her since we could easily express ourselves without any evidence to the common pony's knowledge.

We went on for another hour, just tossing messages between one another. And of course, I started thinking about her again. Eventually our conversations started veering off into other subjects, our past, our relationships, even a hint of our own desires. She inevitably started dwelling on the past, quietly tossing in some of the things that her first had done to mold her into who she was. That included a few other topics.

I gave her a warning that we should probably turn it over before the chat got a little too robust. She quietly agreed, stating that she needed to take another bath after our conversation. I asked her what she needed a bath for, she answered that she would soil her sheets if she went to bed as she was. I asked her what was the reason, she simply replied that she was thinking about me.

I didn't get to finish my session earlier, that reason alone was more than enough to let my imagination drive me.

One hand stayed on my phone, the other wandered beneath my boxers. I could feel myself entangled and confined, and I was determined to alleviate that. I replied that I was thinking of her as well, she said that I was probably up to no good. I admitted that I was a bit rowdy. And then she asked me what I was doing at the moment. I played coy and told her that I was just thinking about her. She correctly called me out for being nasty. I didn't apologize for it. There was a momentary pause before her next response.

On that note, she never replied to me after that. I knew what she went to do, and that only pushed me even further. Before I knew it, I had her name on my lips, my hips tensed, I sat up and watched as my rapidly moving hand was covered in the pent-up delivery that was supposed to be a deposit. One spurt in particular dressed my chest in seed, the others coated my fingers and the back of my hand. I had to stifle my moans, ensuring that any guard out on patrol couldn't hear me.

After that, I grabbed a tissue off the night stand, cleaned my mess, took a quick shower, and carried off into bed.

The next morning was a bit different. Celestia had a busy schedule today, so she got her breakfast on the go as opposed to sitting in. Shining and Blueblood on the other hand were present and accounted for. Shining was having a bit of fun on his phone, apparently discovering the sector of human entertainment and our own brand of stupidity exhibited for the world's viewing pleasure.

The young prince found much amusement in the newfound vein of comedy. I only shook my head realizing he was well on his way to embarking on the perilous sea known as the internet. There was no saving him, I can only assume it'll take him a matter of days before he finds the porn.... No... hours.

Fair winds and following seas, my friend.

Blueblood wasn't as distracted, and questioned me on my recent trips to the place often known as Canterrot. "So what's the status of your underground run?" He asked.

"Met the guy in charge. He gave me an unwanted hug, and now he's expecting me to show up later tonight." I replied begrudgingly.

Thankfully Shining wasn't too distracted by what was on the screen. "Celestia tried to work her way into Corrotto on Tuesday. Had a warrant and everything set up."

"You know how that goes, Shining. They change the rules just before a warrant is signed, it's like they stay a step ahead." Blueblood stated, taking a sip of his morning coffee.

I shrugged at the two princes. "I don't see why you guys don't just bust in the place and clean house."

Blueblood then explained. "Most of the mercs there would easily give you a field day. I'm sure you wouldn't want to play cards in a game where they hold the deck."

"You got me." I replied confidently.

Shining offered his own rebuttal. "And you're our most vital piece in all of this. Worst happens to you, we're done here. Worst happens to them, they're expendable. Can't put you in that kind of bind, your brothers would raise hell with us."

"Apparently one of them hit Celestia with a rock." Blueblood mentioned, appearing upset at that bit of news.

"Oh, I've read that incident report." I replied. "The guy who did it got knocked off. First Lieutenant Solemn Oath made that very clear to me, also saying that if I took my job seriously, I would've been there."

Blueblood chuckled. "Ah, the infamous ice queen. Always loyal to the crown, Celestia in particular is her favorite. Many a young stallion called their shots in trying to tame her, but none would ever get the chance of capturing her. She apparently has a disdain for males, never allowing the opportunity to rise for one to claim the fame of being the tamer of her frosty disposition. She's a strict one, not often loved by her subordinates and equals. She does her job well, it's just that she's so abrasive towards command that they forgo on giving her promotions."

Shining sighed dismissively. "I made the jump from Captain to Brigadier General, she lost all of her shit until she realized that she could have the position I gave you. But when I gave it to you in a battlefield promotion, she went─to borrow an adjective you humans use─absolutely nuclear."

"Good use." I commended the stallion for his understanding of human lingo. "But yeah, she had her pom-poms out, cheering over the idea that I could lose my job."

"Oh that's typical. She feels almost every stallion above her short-cut the ranks while she worked twenty years and couldn't get past second lieutenant for five of them." Shining also explained.

"Has anyone ever explained to her that it requires the approval of your peers to get a promotion after a bare minimum of two years?" I asked.

Blueblood made fun of my ironic inquiry. "Well, Mr. Kettle, I do believe Ms. Pot simply doesn't give a damn."

The three of us shared a brief laugh before the doors flung open to reveal a human woman marching over to me. I turned around and grew pleasantly surprised in seeing the sudden visitor. "Mel? Hey, haven't seen you in a few da─"

Without warning, she grabbed my collarbone and started pulling in the opposite direction, her nails dug into my shoulders while she seethed. "Get your ass over here."

The brief sting of her nails digging in caused me to duck down and break her arm off of me. I backed up and pointed to her, giving her a mild warning. "Hey, now you wait a minute. You're my friend and all, but don't come out the blue and snatch my shoulder like that. That's not what we're gonna do after not talking for a few days."

She shuddered and grabbed my shoulder again. Her voice trembled as she made her point awfully clear. "There is a fucking coffin in my den. And it smells putrid."

I was initially perplexed, but looking into her eyes had told me she was not fucking around. Mel was genuinely terrified, and she looked like she had seen a ghost. I looked to the other princes and saw that they didn't take her statement lightly. I looked down to see her hand shaking on my shoulder. Her breathing was heavy, almost as if she had ran here. The sweat on her forehead was a dead giveaway of her physical stress.

I called to the two princes. "...Guys, let's go."

We crossed over to our world through Mel's portal. And as soon as we crossed, it hit us. The pungent smell of decay, the obnoxious miasma of flesh well past it's expiration date. To all three of us, that smell was very familiar. To Mel, it was a red flag. We quickly walked into the hallway, citing the increase in the strength of the smell. As soon as we reached the den, that's were we saw a brown wooden casket blocking the front door. At the bottom of the casket was a speaker, beneath it was a small white envelope.

"Ugh, putrid's about right." Shining pointed out.

"Mel, when did this show up?" I asked the terrified woman.

"I woke up to my mirror facing the other fucking way, I go in the bathroom thinking I might have a sewage problem, then I step into hallway, only to find the smell got even STRONGER. Now here's the fucking thing sitting in my den, and I'm supposed to not grab your attention?"

Shining and Blueblood didn't even bother covering their muzzles, meanwhile Mel and I were trying to filter out the smell as best as we could to prevent the nausea from overwhelming us. "Who the fuck is in there?" I asked.

"It's a basic wooden finish. Could be anyone." Blueblood pointed out.

"This ain't what we doing today." I replied, walking over to the casket, completely pinching my nose shut.

Shining levitated the envelope, ripping it open to reveal a card hiding in a plastic wrapper. "There's a card inside."

Mel proceeded to beg the two stallions. "Shining, Blueblood, this thing is obviously pony sized. So can you please ship this thing back to wherever it came from?"

I looked at the card, seeing that the front and back were completely blank. I didn't bother touching it, instead using my magic to handle the item. "At least whoever brought the card was hygienic enough to wrap this in plastic." Opening the card, I saw the words Happy Birthday circled numerous times. On the outside trimmings were hand-drawn hearts and arrows. I started reading the card aloud. "Happy Birthday to our most esteemed escape artist. I know you've been feeling a little upset with the news lately, so I gave you a surprise gift for good cheer. I give this to you with all of my being, I offer it to you with you running through my mind. The affection I have for you can only be described as eternal. With love and kisses in mind, Ummie."

Suddenly the speaker at the bottom of the casket started to slowly rev up some music, almost as if we were listening to a record from the roaring twenties. Mel looked around the room and back at us slowly. "What the fuck is going on?" After she asked that very question, there was a barbershop quartet singing in a very rich timber that was greatly distorted by the audio quality.

The lid of the coffin busted wide open, the body inside was pistoned up to appear that the corpse inside was sitting up as if they were about to turn their head to me and climb out. All of us screamed in bone-chilling horror.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"JESUS FUCKING..." I was petrified. Mel grabbed me and hid behind my back.

"Holy shit!" Shining jumped back placing a hoof to his muzzle.

Blueblood stared wide-eyed at the corpse, giving a slow nod. "Well that's a new one."

Shining sat on his haunches, placing both hooves against his lips. "This is not okay."

On the chest of the corpse was a sign, on it was written one word in sloppy red paint: YOU.

As much as we didn't like looking at the decaying pony corpse, it was there for all of us to see. But the main thing that truly sent shivers down my spine, the primary reason my stomach turned like a pinwheel, was the shape of the incisions of it's head. The broken horn, the rusted staples that once held the damaged cranium together, the pieces of flesh that fell from it's maggot-infested face, the rotten sludge that dripped from it's eye sockets, the misshapen jawline, the wilting mane, it's face reconfigured in my mind. And it was often that he would smile at me, waiting in anticipation for the moment I'd fail.

I ran to the nearest sink and puked out the breakfast I just ate. Meanwhile Blueblood examined the body and covered his muzzle. "That's Count."

Mel quickly ran to the bedroom, crying as she hid away from the scene. "Oh my God, please God, please get it the fuck out of here!"

After I had finished, I couldn't help but to slink down against the counter, sliding down to the floor. As I was sitting in that room, the pungent smell was permanently etched into my brain. The sight of his rotting face smiling back at me, like he had paid an old friend a visit from the depths of hell, it was a unearthly reminder of my fate. There was nowhere to run, no place I can retire to and experience peace. Even if I had stopped now, who's to stop them from hunting me down? Who cares if I have a doctor to vent to? Who cares if I resort to belief as a way to alleviate my problems? It didn't even matter if I came back home or not.

In fact, this was a testament to tell me that there was no leaving it all behind. They know where I live, they know where Mel lives, they know about the frat house, where Kalimba stays, where all my hideaways are. And if I tried to leave, who's to say that they won't target them next? The door is closed, permanently. I had to accept it. "Nowhere is safe."

Mel screamed from the comfort of her own bedroom, which was now a nightmare to stay in because of the smell and what she just saw. "I don't know who the fuck you pissed off Nondis, but this shit does not happen in MY home!"

The young prince didn't waste any time, he got on the phone and called Alex. "Hello?"

"Shining Armor here. Emergency meeting. Now."

Rough start...