The remainder of my day had been pretty listless in comparison to the first half of it. I went from possibly having to conduct a city-wide search for Celestia to standing in an empty hallway after I finished reporting in the results of my search. But I was appreciative of the fact that it was just as mundane as it usually is.

My evening had the usual dinner and time off to go over a few subjects with the princess in secret. She was more than enthused to keep throwing me to the ground with every attempt I made to defend myself. But after it was all over, she didn't neglect any pain or soreness I had from the training. She frequently asked questions about how I was feeling mentally, physically, or if I felt any tingling in my arms.

After all of that, I had the honors of escorting the princess to her personal chambers for a second consecutive night, something that already seemed to gain some attention from my superiors. They started asking me questions of if I was taking my job seriously or if I was trying to get familiar with her in some way. In either case, I was warned to not devote so much time to her and assign another pony per day for her nightly escort. In short, I had more paperwork to fill out instead of just simply being able to hear her talk about her day and every politician that made her want to bash her skull into the hardwood podium she sits at. I know she won't like hearing about that one at breakfast tomorrow.

Other than that, the past week had been pretty slow with the exception of a few events. And with the passing of this day, my temporary restriction to the castle grounds would be lifted at the stroke of dawn.

The Next Day...

What other way could I point out how boring this day was through the first half of it. Morning jog, breakfast with the royals, Celestia sipping on her tea while telepathically fussing at me over my recent orders from command. I don't think I ever heard so many near-swears in my life. The only words she said that could be considered as bad words were 'damn' and 'hell,' but those were tame in contrast to what I'm used to.

After I clocked out for the day, I decided to take another friendly jog downtown. But since I was a human on the run, I had a lot of attention from local press trying to get a quick scoop of castle life since I was in town more frequently. But unfortunately for them, I wasn't interested in spilling any information that would've been great for the front page. The only thing I could say that wouldn't violate any regulations of disclosing any information outside of the castle was what I had for dinner. Any other question they had, I had to immediately brush off by talking about some distacting details of some sort.

Thankfully as a human, I had many topics. I started talking about the human equivalent to some of the cities here in Equestria, how many people lived in them, stuff that I could easily go on and on for hours on end talking about until some of them were bored and made their way onward. Those that stayed had some interesting things to post for their readers.

While the press started to clear out and I eventually got so distracted that I stopped jogging, I sat down at a teahouse to order a nice cup of coffee. Even if I couldn't order food, I retained the privilege to order a beverage. While I sat in peace, I had many try to request a picture with me. That affair lasted for a good twenty minutes until I was greeted by a rather affluent individual.

"Yoo-hoo!" Blue Royal chimed from down the street, running up to me with a bright and cheerful smile on her face.

"Well good evening, Miss Royal." I replied as she walked up to my table. "What brings you to this neck of the woods?"

She looked around and saw the crowd shadowing me and hummed for a second before answering. "Well, I had something interesting to talk to you about. It's in regards to the next Hooves for Humans meetup. I know you're pretty busy, but I wanted to be able to disclose a date where we can have you drop by and spread some more knowledge of you humans."

"Well if you want that, you can just wait for the articles to come out within the week. I just got hounded by the press earlier, a bunch of them asking me for scoops about the royal family. I instead told them about a few cities that would remind me of my home world and the cities they'd be based off of."

The mare's ears folded back as she pouted. "Aww, that must've been a really nice subject."

"Yup." I answered before I noticed that the mare's horn had started to glow. "And I take it you want to say something else."

Around me, I could hear the sound of the world being swallowed up like we were being submerged into water. All around me, I could see ponies wondering about where I went and how quick I disappeared. It seemed as if I had been thrown into another spacial disruption field. Her eyes cut back to me, this time showing some urgency. "I know the hour is a bit inconvenient for you, but I do have some valuable information to share with you in regards to the politician you're trying to target."

"You make it sound like I have a hit out on the guy." I said with a chuckle.

"In a way, you do." She replied. "You have a hit out on his career, and you should be willing to assassinate his character at the first opportunity."

"Well I get that. But I don't have intention of taking his life."

"Whatever." She slapped me in the chest with another manila envelope. "But this one you shouldn't ignore. I have sources in Canterrot that tell me of a few dealings he has going on. I know you aren't really able to go there yourself because of your physical appearance, but I know you're just dying to see what the place is all about."

I rolled my eyes, thinking about Sunday. "Yeah, I'm not exactly dying to see a certain guy who doesn't like to shower as much as he likes to fuck corpses."

The mare scoffed at my comment. "Oh, that's just daytime stuff. Night is where it really starts to get interesting. But it's nice to know that you've visited. How did you hide your appearance?"

"By just being a pony." I answered. "That way I can slip in as a persona, make a few deals, cut a few strings, and then I can work something out on how to get this information myself."

The mare smiled. "Sounds like you're ready to do what I want you to do then."

"And that is?"

"I need you to take the next train to a town just south of here. He's meeting with his contacts there for dinner. He should be just an hour away from the town on the green line. They're scheduled to meet at the Hayburger Inn an hour after his arrival."

Hayburger Inn, that's actually the very first place I met with Shining Armor. "So I'm going to Ponyville then. The next train, if I remember correctly, leaves out in about forty-five minutes."

"And the station is a good five minutes from here, so you'll have time to change up and make your way onboard." She said, sliding a pair of tickets to me. "The top one is your way to, the bottom one is scheduled to be the last train headed up this way for the day, so don't be late or you'll be stuck in Ponyville till morning."

"No need." I replied, sliding the tickets back to her. "I'm sure you didn't know this about me, but I haven't been too thrilled about being on a train since the second Canterlot Changeling invasion. Besides, a trip to the castle would be a good twenty-five minutes in a jog."

"Twenty five minutes to leave here and get there, another thirty to run back to the train station, for a two hour trip. You'd miss the contact AND you'd have to get another ticket for the train after that one because the next train on green would be in at 7:40." She said with a frown.

I then explained myself. "No. It's twenty-five minutes to the castle, five minutes through my world, and I'll be in Ponyville within thirty minutes, a whole half hour before he even shows up."

Blue's eyes bucked wide open as she was surprised by my idea. "Thirty minutes!?" She repeated with disbelief. "The shortest way to Ponyville is through air balloon and that's an hour and some change."

"Well we have it set up where I can be in between the two places fairly quickly."

The mare looked at me with a snarky grin. "So you can go visit your princess at any time of the night."

"Sure, whatever you want to believe in." I said with an eye roll. "But I'll just hop over there and keep my profile low. Can't go walking around Ponyville for damn sure without no run-ins with some ponies wanting to take pictures, so I'll make my adjustments before I set on out."

The blue mare nodded. "That's a good way to get things rolling, arriving before he even gets there would be helpful in gathering more information about these contacts. You'd do well to keep yourself incognito while trailing, don't need that one familiar face they keep seeing to suddenly become a victim. Also, if you're going to be a pony, hide your cutie mark so that they don't immediately identify you."

"Alright, any other tips before I run back?" I asked.

"You don't need a reputation of dining and dashing, so how much was the cup of coffee you ordered?"

I started to dig in my pockets. "Well I think it had to be around three or four bits?"

The next thing I heard was a small pile of bits crashing on the table, including one that rolled away from the pile before being collected by her magic. "You might wanna start running, you disappearing and then reappearing would be a bit of a problem for me."

"How many bits is that?" I asked.

"Ten, five for the coffee, five for the tip. Now get moving!"

Twilight's Castle
Sometime Later
***Point Of Perspective: Equus Nondis***

I wasted very little time. As soon as I was told to get moving, I started jogging back to the castle. Unfortunately, I didn't have the luxury of joining the others for dinner, so I had to work on that cup of coffee alone. Not that I had a problem delaying a meal.

I ran through the castle and jumped through my world to get back over to Ponyville. After transforming myself, I noted a few items like combat knives I could take with me that would go well-hidden in pony form. In a pony's body, I could easily brandish it like a dagger because of the size of the blade. I found a nice cloak lying on one of the chairs in the throne room, not sure why it was just lying about. It was a bit small for me, but it still hid most of my identifiable features.

After prepping myself, I snuck around the castle and made my way to the exit. But what I didn't expect was the doors not wanting to open. I even used my magic to try and get the doors open, all to no avail. I then decided to find a possible alternative to getting out of the castle.

Little did I even notice the feeling of a pointy object digging into the back of my neck.

I sat on my haunches and slowly raised my hooves, meanwhile Starlight had come walking around me. "Well, well, well, look what we have here. A thief caught roaming the private property of a princess." She flipped my hood to get a better view of my face. "Hmm, and a cutie one start off. Hate to see your face in the books for criminal trespassing."

"Well hello to you too, Starlight Glimmer." I replied calmly.

The spear started to dig into the back of my neck a little more. "Who are you to know my name?"

I leaned forward to avoid being cut by the spear tip as I answered her question. "Long story short, I showed Twilight that I could turn her into a human, this is more of the exact opposite result on myself."

The mare then pulled the spear away from my neck, a bit amazed of what she was seeing. "Seriously, you lucked up and got a unicorn body, huh? Guess you did do something right."

"I think it was in part of me casting the spell on myself. I believe the transformations vary from one to the other." I replied.

"No. It's all in the equation."

"I was given a simplified one." I answered.

"And not once have you transformed into a pegasus or earth pony?" She inquired before putting a hoof to my chest. "Yeah, consistent results is all in the works of a consistent equation. So what kind of theory did you take to pull this one off?"

"More like a private lesson with Princess Luna."

The lavender unicorn clopped her hooves together with a giggle. "Oh, yeah you do get around, don't you?"

"Not entirely of my own desire. You get what you negotiate in life, not what you deserve."

Starlight started to unhook the cloak on my body. "Well unfortunately some things aren't up for negotiation, such as my getting out of this castle for a quick... meetup. Twilight put a spell on the doors and windows to stop me from getting out. I was going to keep myself disguised with this cloak while I snuck out, but found myself trying to draft an escape plan instead."

"Any particular reason you're locked in here like a prisoner, other than being a danger to the very timeline we currently reside in?" I replied with a sarcastic tone.

"More like she's keeping me locked in so that I can concentrate on my studies for a quiz this Friday." She answered, removing the cloak from off of me. "But I don't do well without the stress relief, if you catch what I'm throwing your way."

"I take it that she, learning from the situation at her old school, wants you to be more disciplined in your studies and not get too distracted by other things that could break your concentration." I answered, reminding myself of Moondancer's complaint.

"Well, that the thing." Starlight started to argue. "Masturbation is a great way to─"

"Reduce stress, release tension of varying sources, improving quality of rest, increase focus, raise morale, sometimes alleviate pains and aches, and can improve sex drive when practiced with modesty." I finished, causing her to gawk at me for already knowing what she was going to say. "Yeah, you're talking to a college student and a guard. Plus a few of my friends have done it too because of some demanding study schedule throughout the semester."

"Well I wish you would tell Twilight that!" She said while groaning with frustration. "She doesn't even leave the library open anymore for me to study inside of. Ever since that one day I caught you guys getting busy, she locked up the library to stop me from venturing to the erotica section. I explained to her my habits were strictly for stress relief and mood enhancement, but she said that the best reward is often earned through hard work and intense study habits."

"So she wants you to take a breather on relieving yourself?" I asked.

The mare grabbed me, shoving her muzzle against mine. I looked around nervously as she blatantly invaded my personal space. "Seriously, how the hell do I do well when I can't even hide a few magazines or books in my room! She went through my room without asking and decided to poke through my stuff! Then she came up to me later, telling me all about my stash and how I wouldn't be seeing it again. How unfair is that when she can just push your buttons and get you all pumped up for her to enjoy?"

I decided to change the subject before my equine body decided to have a moment to show off it's wares. "So I have to Twilight about opening the door, right? I'll go talk to her so I can get out."

"Oh please take me with you!" Starlight pleaded openly, grabbing at my hind leg as I started to walk away. "She took my goods, she took the books I was reading for stimulation, she even limits how much time I spend with Spike! Another second like this and I might resort to mounting a table!"

"Well a good rounded corner should do you just right. Now please let me go talking about this." I urged as I shook my hind leg, trying to break free from her grasp.

"Not unless you get me to my meetup at 9:30." She whispered. "From there, you can get back and do what you want to do while I get what I want to get."

I managed to free myself, but only for a moment as her magic soon found it's grasp around my leg instead. "Let me go, lady!" I ordered as her eyes wandered upwards, glancing at something that enticed her interest.

"...Huh, so you're a spotty fellow."

I quickly tapped her horn with my hoof and pivoted around to stop her from getting a good look at my uncontrollable growth. But instead of letting me back away, she walked towards me with a particular gleam in her eye. "Lady, you have problems that I am not going to fix─"

Before I could say anything else, I managed to get a copious amount of tail hair in my mouth and against my muzzle. Started to back away again, but found my backside bunched against the wall. In front of me, Starlight stood to her side, dangling her tail in front of me with the smuggest grin on her face. As I was trying to fight my way away, I felt that familiar throbbing sensation tapping against my belly, causing me to shudder again. It was almost as if I was completely petrified while she smacked her tail against my lips, mocking me with every second she had me backed into the wall.

"Mmm, you smell that?" The mare cooed seductively, advertising her musk against my face. "That's called being a mare in need. And right now, your body is screaming to you that you got the supply to fill the demand. You want this as bad as I do right now, and I don't mind claiming Twilight's leftovers as you can tell. Besides, I don't know her enough to where that's even a concern."

"Lady, you are twelve kinds of crazy if you think you're gonna try to get at me." I replied, trying my best to ignore my equine-influenced sex drive.

"And you must be naïve to believe that your completely unadapted human mind can handle the everyday nuances of an equine body." She said, slapping her tail against my muzzle once more. "You and Twilight showed me that the other day. She turns into a human and you completely have your way with her, turning her mind into mush as she even forgets the fact that she's royalty. Vice versa with you, and I'm sure you can't even control your erections properly. That means you're just as vulnerable as a little colt who's caught wind of a filly's first estrus cycle. That means... if you don't come to a decision in the next forty-five seconds, you are going to pounce on top of me and start pounding away at whatever feels good... even if you happen to embarrass yourself and find yourself clopping out against my leg. No doubt you won't do any kind of adjusting, so you'll just be poking and prodding until you find that release. You'd be such a little baby wanting to breed mommy, but you won't know how."

I groaned as I felt every last fiber in my equine body wanting to prove just how wrong she was on how inexperienced I was at this particular practice. If I wanted to, I could tease her horn and rub her haunches all night. And there was no question that this pony body of mine wanted nothing more than to destroy her. But I had more pressing issues to keep in mind. "Lady, you are evil."

She started walking around me, speaking slowly as if to stall for time. "Evil isn't what I am, at least not anymore. Scandalous is the more politically-correct term. But instead of calling me to be evil, maybe you should be making a decision. Because either I get what I want..." She then pounced on my back, leaning into my ear from behind me. "...Or I get what I want from you."

Her horn started to glow, introducing a distinctive warmth against the bottom of my length. Just the sensation alone made my shaft throb enough to hit against my stomach. The wonderful, albeit brief sensation had me cooing on my own accord before I rapidly shook my head, snapping myself back to reality. "FINE. I'll talk to Twilight and get you out of here."

The mare continued to tease me. "I don't know, I kinda like the idea of having what I have now. Maybe I can be the mare who shows you how to get the job done, pony-style."

"How about you get off of me. My body may want this as much as you do, but I as an individual do not." I said, trying to shake her off again.

She nibbled against my ear. "Mmm, mommy's gonna make you all grown up. Just lay back and let me take care of it."

Without much thinking, I pulled out my phone and started dialing Twilight's number. After a few seconds on the dial, she picked up. "Hello?"

"Hey Twilight, quick question. Do you mind if I borrow Starlight for a few hours for an espionage assignment?" I quickly questioned as I started to feel the sensation of magic tickle my entire length. "I know you have the doors locked and all, but I promise to get her back when I'm done, maybe around 10 tonight."

The mare on the other end seemed annoyed that I wasn't simply calling her to say hi. "So you call me, not to even talk to me or ask me for advice on anything, but to use my student and sneak out to do whatever?"

If every second that passed on this call wasn't some way of my trying not to embarrass myself in front of Starlight, I would've been more than willing to address her complaints. But my current circumstance disallowed me the pleasure of traditional formalities. "Yes, and I will have her back at 10. It's a pretty important thing I need to do and we have to leave now."

As Twilight was on the line speaking, I could glance down to see Starlight beneath me, nuzzling my flaring shaft, giving me a slight kiss against it's length. I tried to keep my moans to a minimum as Twilight spoke. "If you can shave that time down to no later than 9, we're good for it."

Starlight stopped for a second and whispered. "Seriously, what am I, a filly? I'm a grown mare."

"Deal! How soon can you open up this door, we're already waiting in the lobby." I said, watching as Starlight evolved from kissing my shaft to gliding her tongue across it, nuzzling her muzzle against it while tenderly pressing her lips against the base. She spared no exception to any part of me, giving thorough attention to every inch of skin her face touched.

"I will as soon as I ask a few questions." I was already cursing her out mentally as I couldn't help but to sit on my haunches, watching the lavender unicorn stare back at me with each journey back and forth. "First question, can you get her back earlier than 9?"

Starlight didn't seem intimidated by the sound of her mentor's voice, instead she seemed fueled by it. The longer Twilight spoke, it seemed the more her intent was to outperform. "If it goes well, I can." I said while rolling my eyes from the pleasure of being so delicately nurtured.

"Now if I let you out, where exactly will you be going?" She asked.

My hoof wandered to the back of her head, trying to instinctively guide her to where I felt I needed the most attention, at the bottom of my oozing tip. Her head tilted back just enough to show me the back of her throat as she held her mouth open, her tongue locked firmly at the bottom of my tip. Her eyes appeared absolutely drunk on the idea of just how far she would go to prove to me how sexually gifted she was. "A restaurant downtown, it's to check in on some contact of a senator. Please let us go, time is of the essence." I begged, as I could feel the heated breath of the mare beneath me go from warming just the tip to showering down against my entire length.

"Starlight can help you, but she has a knack to be a bit troublesome in many regards." No shit. "But if she ever steps out of line, you come and get me or call me, I'll be right there."

In one fell swoop, I watched as her lips went from the tip of my length to the very base against my body. "Okay! Talktoyoulaterbye!" I said quickly, hanging up just as Starlight was about to press herself against me to take on more than I ever dreamed. Her glanced down to her task before she looked back to me with a commanding stare, her foreleg wrapped around my back, shoving herself closer towards me. I could hear the sounds of her struggling for air as she slowly slid her tongue from her mouth, curling up to hold my balls. The soft cracking of her gutteral grunts were sporadic while she stayed in place, her eyes began to water from the struggle of her staying put.

Without warning, she pulled back and freed herself for air, completely separating herself from me. But even with her rapid withdrawal, there was much between me and her. My shaft throbbed as she breathed, trails of her saliva strung the distance between her lips and my tip. Her eyes were locked on me as a mixture of spit and precum dribbled off of her chin.

The mare spoke to me with a proud smirk on her face. "So then maybe you and I can be of use to each other, since we're negotiating."

I started to grimace at the intent hidden behind her wicked smile. "I got an apartment that's a thirty second sprint from here. We've got ten minutes."

"All I need is two to get what I want."

I hate and love this crazy ass bitch.

There really wasn't any stopping it. I ran right past the front desk without explaining anything at all, I just ran to the room with Starlight trailing behind me. I unlocked the door, shoved my way in and watched as Starlight slammed the door closed behind me. She didn't even bother to stop and glance around the room, ignoring the many human-world souvenirs lining throughout the room. Her eyes were locked on me while I plopped onto the bed.

Yeah, the entire time I ran here, I was fully exposed to whoever was watching. I couldn't help it, and Starlight was forcing the issue by keeping me up with her magic the entire time, just slow enough to keep me from going off too soon, but quick enough to keep me interested. So when I finally got to the room, she continued from where she left off. My eyes were hard focused on her while she slid her tongue up and down my shaft again. The magic she had curled around my length had stopped at the base as she drooled over it, intentionally coating me with every last bit of her spit before she turned around to move her tail aside.

"I see you're as dark as your sense of modesty."

As the tip met with her entrance, she lined me with her magic and snickered. "Just shut up and let momma show you how it's done."

She pulled her tail out of the way, with every intention to let me watch as every last inch of me was devoured by her. The mare hummed before chuckling, looking back at me while I reached for her. Her horn flashed once more, pushing my hooves away.

"Nuh-uh-uh." She said as she placed the weight of her body completely against me. "You'll go too quick if I let you keep tempo. Momma wants a quickie, but she doesn't want a one-pump chump."

"All yours." I conceded, feeling her inviting embrace against my entire sex.

She started to bounce up and down, slowly savoring the feeling of having a living stallion at her mercy. Her head dipped down as her back curled, her every moment threatening to send me to the point of no return. Just the sight of her taking all of me was enough to set me off, and it only proved her point. Had I been the one to push the pace, I would've been selfish and let loose at the very second she plopped her thick curves into me. But she knew her way around teasing me to oblivion, making me realize the desire of letting go while keeping me held back just enough to want more.

She then rested against me, peeking back with a confident smirk and a giggle. The next thing I felt was every last ounce of me being tugged forward as her hips rocked forward, letting me truly experience every last bit of her. Even angles that I wouldn't have known otherwise, she showed them to me. Her hindlegs then straightened, her body rising as she prepared herself for her next method of assault. Her legs separated a little more, her magic held her tail aside to give me the pleasure of seeing how deep she could take me.

"Mmmmhmm... Yeah, that's it. Momma loves that." Her effort to appease my equine appetite was beyond description. Even if this was my first experience with a mare as a pony, she wanted to make sure that every other one afterwards would pale in comparison. She wanted to make me feel like there would never be a chance to get this again, and it wouldn't surprise me if she was right.

Inevitably, my loins began to throb and my tip began to engorge. The desire to push myself forward towards that mark was so great that I started to fight to move my hips into hers when they met. Starlight wasn't blind to the situation I was in, more so encouraging it with the way she started to rotate her hips with each motion.

"You like it when I do that?"

"Yes." I said, closing my eyes to await the moment I would ascend.

"You like it when momma shows you how it's done?"

"Yes.Yes." The tension started to mount.

"Mmm, you wanna cum for momma."

"Yes, please."

"Say it."

"Momma make me cum." I begged, almost sounding like a teenager at the mercy of his illicit instructor.

I could already feel her clenching around me, very much experiencing her own orgasm while she kept her composure. "Big boys don't make small loads, you gonna cum real big for me?"

"Yes! Yes! Please!"

Starlight straightened herself upwards, pounding against me even faster. "You're gonna cum for momma when she says so, okay?"

"Okay!" I stressed, already pressing my hooves into the bed while my hips moved in sync with hers.

"Good. I want you to cum in three... two... one..."

An audible pop could be heard throughout the room as the moist warmth of her body was withdrawn from me. She quickly turned around to take in the spectacle of my longing for that final push to send me over, the expected shove off the proverbial cliff. But no matter how hard I thrust my hips, the absence of her was far too cruel to allow me to quickly approach that measure. But she watched as my throbbing had come to full stop, my entire length stiffening before a stream of seed trickled down from within me.

I found myself whimpering like a puppy, feeling almost unloved as the first rope of my seed wrangled itself free from my body. Instead of my feeling the warmth of her hips crushing into mine, the lovely invitation she offered to my stallionhood, the only warmth I could take solace in at that moment was the feeling of my own cum warming my lap in her absence.

However, she was not done.

"You poor baby, you look so sad without your momma to comfort you." She stared at me from the base of my dripping mast, cooing at me. "But it's okay, you did a good job. A nice thick load for momma, you must love her so very much."

Honestly, I wanted to cuss her out for leaving me high and dry, but that wasn't what she had planned.

"But momma doesn't like a dirty little colt, now does she? Let's clean you up."

As soon as her tongue touched the bottom of my shaft again, I could finally feel the shattered remnants of the finishing blow I desired kicking in. Another two thick ropes landed on her face, covering her eyelids and even her horn. Whatever else that slowly ran from within me had pooled against her tongue, falling into her mouth. She closed her mouth, swallowed the little she collected, and carried on with her clean-up without even stopping to take a breath. Instead of reacting with disgust over the thick white globs over her eyes, she wore it almost like a badge of honor.

Her tongue wrapped around my shaft before she sank herself onto me again, repeating the very same action that had me sold on our encounter in the first place. If there was ever concern for a gag reflex, she learned how to thoroughly ignore it. Slurping and popping, gurgling and gagging, the noises her mouth made were utterly disgusting, but blissful to the ear. She would not dare let me guide her, keeping my hooves bound to the bed with her magic while she spent every second cleaning me up.

As she finished, she started to pat herself on the face with my waning length. "So that was a good five minutes and a real nice orgasm to boot. Good job not breaking the immersion."

"Lady, I wanted to cuss your ass out for dropping me off like that." I griped. "But the follow-up... Forgive me for asking but how long have you been doing this?"

She levitated a tissue from a nearby shelf, cleaning the remnants of our activity from her eyes. "Well I was once over a small village over in the sticks. And I was really quick to get pissed off at a lot of things during estrus. So I just decided to use what was around and started to research the ways I could please a stallion while pleasing myself. A few years later and it feels like I'm still missing something."

"LIKE FUCKING WHAT!?" I questioned.

The mare finished cleaning her face before she started gathering a few towels for herself. "Well... there was a friend I knew way back when. And for the longest time I had that village, I just waited for him to drop by. I felt like maybe he would've been curious about something and it would've inevitably brought him my way. I was gambling on fate, hoping to cash out eventually. So I thought that for the moment we'd ever meet up again, I was going to convince him to stay with me."

"So you thought that practicing sex was a good way to make your argument?" I asked.

"I won the argument between me and you." She replied with a smirk. "Not only I got out of the castle, I also got laid in the process. I won in every statistical and hypothetical category."

"Not exactly a badge I'd wear, but sure. A trophy is a trophy." I conceded with a shrug. "But how was that going to help you?"

"I just felt like when the time was right and he'd find his way back to me, I was going to show him that other mares won't work as hard to please him as me." She said before she started to chuckle at herself. "Yeah, all those years wasted because I couldn't find him. But my being pretty good at sex is a fair trade-off. The only thing that's missing in all of this is him."

I looked at the mare and shook my head. "You know, you don't have to─"

She was very quick to correct me before I could even get it all out. "I am not sleeping around because I feel 'abandoned,' I have sex because I make it my choice to do so with whoever I feel will leave the least amount of strings behind. I'm a grown mare who can make those decisions for herself, and I am not looking for a placebo either. I like sex like any other pony, it's a recreational activity, not something anchored by the concept of something so hard-locked like marriage─"

"I get it, I get it!" I said, stressing the fact that she made her argument loud and clear. "I... Just want to make sure that there's no strings behind this either. I mean, honestly it's a bit fucked that I just smashed my ex's student─"

"How so?" She questioned. "You two aren't together officially, at least from what she told me. And she broke it off from you, so it shouldn't matter what she thinks."

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, but the novelty of the situation remains."

She shrugged off my statement. "Look, nopony knows that Nondis, the human Captain of the Royal Guard, got busy with the pupil of the Princess of Friendship. In that form, you are just another one of us roaming around the street."

"Well I'm happy to know that you think so liberally─"

"Stop selling yourself on the idea that you're doing something wrong when that sense of morality has no ground to stand on. You're grown, you've made plenty of hard choices up till now. Who you have sex with should be just as free of a choice, and that applies to anyone, even some pent-up royal who's bound by some obscure, nonsensical ancient law."

The more she talks, the more I see her views aligning with my younger brother's. But she wasn't wrong in any way. In fact, I agreed with her. Even if I know of the possible emotional ramifications, what matters is if there was any long-term expectations after. And being that I'm going to have to physically negotiate on some things, I have to be more open-minded with myself and how I go about this. Granted, there are still lines to not cross but I should not restrict myself when there is no real reason to.

I sighed with relief, no longer feeling the pent-up frustration that came with my being a stallion. I pulled out my phone and looked at the time, realizing that I was five minutes over. "Shit, the bastard's probably just left the train station by now."

Meanwhile, Starlight just stared at me as I checked my phone. "Hey... so you've done some more magic practice while you were over in Canterlot, right?"

"A bit." I admitted. "The past two days I wasn't able to work with Alabaster, I was working with Celestia instead. She's a bit of a hard-ass on me in combat."

"Is combat all that you two were working on?" She asked.

"No, there were other magic application practices, such as using callings for summoning items. She says it takes a lot of practice, but I still can't get the hang of it. It's easier for me to just levitate something over to me instead of trying to make it appear."

She then pointed at my phone. "You poofed up that thing to talk to Twilight. And you just did it again."

I looked at my phone and started to realize the fact that I was not wearing any kind of pants or had any pockets. As my phone levitated in place, I stared back at the dim reflection of myself on the darkened screen. "Huh... it's just that simple?"

"Yeah, just tell yourself what you want to hold. Then think of the last place you had it and let it come to you. It's pretty simple stuff."

I started to chuckle as I leaned back on my bed. "Really, so this entire time I could've been doing this instead of working up massive migraines?"

"You're focusing too hard, putting a lot of energy on the channeling process that you end up overcompensating. You burn yourself out easier doing that. Let it be natural."

I took a moment to close my eyes and imagine the pair of pants I had sitting in the room with the portal. I closed my eyes to simply imagine them being here, only for me to hear the familiar clatter of a belt. I opened my eyes to see the pants sitting in front of me. "Then again, using magic as a unicorn is hella easier than doing it as a human."

"Same method applies, just adjust to the difference in anatomy." She advised with a smile.

"...Now if only I can apply that logic to my sex drive."

After a quick shower to clean off any lingering musk, we made our way to the location of the meetup. The two of us pretended to be as inconspicuous as possible, especially her and her midnight-blue cloak. I simply settled for a pair of sunshades, an orange starry cloak she picked out from a nearby convenience shop, and a hat I nabbed at the train station we watched him leave from.

As far as the evening went, we appeared to have gone undiscovered by the politician. And when we finished trailing him to the hayburger joint, the two of us sat a considerable distance away before she quietly ignited her horn to give the both of us an enchantment to hear even the tiniest detail of a conversation. I brought up the potential problem of being able to hear too much at once, but she informed me that the key to the spell was to focus in on the conversation you want to single out. She also noted that the spell had a greater effect if you happen to identify the voice of an individual. I then asked her where she learned the spell, she simply said that she learned it on the fly.

This lady is crazy, but she's unquestionably talented.

My ears were ringing with the multitude of conversations taking place in the restaurant, from the cooks in the kitchen who were talking shit about their manager, the servers who discussed some local gossip, the manager who apparently loathed the fact that she didn't finish flight school, to the kids that were so occupied with their meal toys and their parents pleading with them to finish their food. I could even hear the uncomfortable sounds of mouths munching on food, especially from a very specific messy eater from whatever side of the diner. It was just loud as shit, and it didn't make me feel any less like I was here to eat more than I wanted to get up and leave.

I shuddered as Starlight tapped her hoof against mine. "Try not to focus in on that too much. Now, you hungry? I can order us a little something while we're here."

"If it'll distract from the uncomfortable ASMR experience, then I'm all ears." I said, trying my best to not focus in on that particular customer.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the politician walk in through the doors, looking for a specific table. While I tried to focus in on him, I could hear the disgusting munching of the one customer I was distracted by overcome my hearing. I clenched my eyes closed, trying to desperately focus in on the politician instead.

But then... there came a voice that caused me to shudder with unease. "Ey, there's the bloke."

That same accent, that same tone, the crassness in his voice, it was all too familiar to Sunday. I glanced over to see where that voice came from, seeing that he was sitting in the chair right behind me. My body froze in place as I realized that I was sitting right next to the guy who I lied to, the equine trafficker.

Starlight looked at me and asked me casually. "Is something wrong?"

I motioned her with my eyes, lightly swiping my hoof around to point at the table behind me. She nodded quietly and started to listen in.

The politician grimaced as he nudged his head towards another area where there was a lonely stallion sitting in a corner slowly munching away at some fries. The other stallion tapped against the table, the vibrations of the wood and metal sounding rather loudly in my ears. The politician sighed as he conceded the argument, walking over to sit on the other side, facing the stallion. The sound of the weight shifting could easily be heard without an audio amplification spell. "You could've offered a better spot."

Another stallion chimed in with a stereotypical high-pitched mobster voice. "Well you know we like being convenient. What better way to chow on a burger and then getting a meet-up out of the way, you can't tell me anything."

"How about a place that isn't so populated for starters?" The politician chided.

"Ay, it's a weekday in bumfuck Ponyville, you either get jack shit after nine or you get a fairly decent doori." The slave-trader replied. "Only time this place would be interesting is if there's a festival in town thrown together by that bouncy pink moot or if a battle 'ad finished recently."

The politician groaned with frustration. "Damn you, we do not need to catch hint of your more... *ahem* ...explicit proclivities."

The slave-trader's voice smoothed out as he started to speak to him in a low voice. "Of course not, ya here for a job. And you've got the down payment."

The politician grimaced. "Not here, it's too open."

"You know where to hang the goods, get to it and maybe I'll get myself to calm down a bit, eh?" The slave-trader replied.

The stallion shuffled his hind legs under the table, levitating a small sack of items under the table. The politician then winced with discomfort as he leaned his sack of goods under the table. He didn't look as he tried to guide the goods beside him.

"No sir." The slave-trader spat angrily, leaning against the back of the table, his head bumping into mine. "You know exactly where to hang it... Slowly."

The politician grew squeamish as he clenched his eyes, using his magic to open the draw-string of the bag and hung it on the place where the slave-trader wanted it most. The burly stallion chuckled whimsically as his sidekick whispered to the politician. "Be sure to give him a kiss while you're down there."

The politician finished with his instructions and quickly cut off his horn before retracting his hind legs against his body. "There, you got what you wanted."

"Seems like you want something else, sweet cheeks." The slave-trader muttered.

"I don't have all night for this, Prod Clod." The stallion stressed. "I have a much more important appointment scheduled for later this evening. So I'm going to be quick."

The slave trader, apparently named Prod Clod, shifted his weight while not even caring for the fact that his head was brushing up against mine. "Huh, it feels like you ain't got enough bollies to pay my dinner tonight."

"Then maybe you should look at which ones I gave you." The politician said, still shifting around in his seat.

Prod looked over at his sidekick and whispered. "So Short Stack, what do you think?"

The stilt-like unicorn levitated the sack from under the table and opened it to reveal at least five heart shaped rubies and a few fragments of the same gem. "Fire rubies, eh? You must want us to take someone out to drinks."

The politician cleared his throat. "Yes, actually. There's this one fellow who was associated with a good friend of ours, a late friend."

"Ah." Prod groaned as he shifted his head away from mine. "Poor bastard, sad that his meds didn't come through. Bet the bloke was screaming at the walls again."

"Didn't he blow his money on a drinking wager or some crafty prostitute?" Short questioned.

"It wasn't actually." The politician replied. "I heard he was reluctant to pay the fee on the account that it was too costly for his lifestyle. He would've had to avoid the Corrotto District for some time, but it got worse. It was actually his son who pulled the trigger on the joint family account."

"So it was the son who paid off Gaston? I see why he rushed out of Griffinstone so quick, probably wanted a bite of that tight twink's arse before setting out."

"So is this little faggot gonna take over the family business?" Short questioned.

"I only seen him at the funeral, trying to play nice with the captain. I don't think he was crying over the fact that his father died as much as he did when word got out that the human did Gaston in." The politician explained. "Though he did try to make apologies to the human on his late father's behalf."

"The human's not even that strong." Prod announced. "I heard that a few spells and a good group of goonies had him shaking those long shanks for legs."

"That automatically makes him a non-factor in our job, we'll waste him quicker than he can call for reinforcements, and we could sell his parts faster than an albino changeling." Short added, subconsciously making me want to turn around and shove a gun against his head to prove a point. "But you want us to take ol' Count's lesser on a night out in town?"

The politician then explained in a much quieter voice. "The thing is this, he has the credentials on the family account. Now Gaston may be something that wasn't made in his name, but everything else before that is a certainty. Now if I'm a reasonable pony, then I can conclude that with his current circumstances he should be willing to find some 'life changes' or a good 'change in heart'. So the question then becomes 'when does he start talking about those transactions'."

"And you wanna keep a tight-lip." Prod concluded.

"And be sure to take him to the zoo after you finish. Show him around if you will, let him be amazed."

Short tapped against his superior. "Ey boss, you wanna take him to see the big one they caught in the mountain?"

"Sounds promising to me. If forty armed guards can't take a few nine, then one pony would be a bug in it's way. We'll keep him nice and cozy, he'll have a big bright smile on his face by the time we're done with him." Prod then turned his attention to the politician. "You gave us a pretty lucrative deal, boss."

"I'm glad you see such a simple task as something too small to take on." The senator stood from his seat and bid the duo farewell. "Now if you excuse me, I have a date with some twins I've been longing to see again."

I started to close my eyes and take a deep breath before I heard the sidekick shift his focus to something else. "Ey Proddy, this one behind us."

"Seems awfully well-dressed for a visit to a burger joint." The stallion replied as I heard him stand over the chair and loom over my head. "Aw, and with a beaut to boot."

Starlight's horn started to lightly shimmer as she questioned the burly stallion. "Is there something I can help you with?"

The stallion then replied in what could've been his best formal voice. "So me and a friend run a modeling agency over in Canterlot. Would you be interested in shooting an exhibition for us?"

Starlight shook her head, her horn still gleaming. "No thank you. But I do have a friend who would be willing to do a few shots. I'll talk to them. Besides, my boyfriend wouldn't like me to take pictures with some group neither of us don't know personally." She replied with the sweetest tone, reaching out and holding my hooves as she whispered to him. "He's a real jealous guy."

The stallion then extended his hooves over my head as he held hers in retaliation. "Aw, you got a name, love?"

"Starbright Shine." Starlight lied almost effortlessly . "Got a business card? I could send you a few samples through the mail."

The stallion looked to his partner, who levitated a pretty flashy business card. The stallion then took it from his lackey and slipped it across the table with a smirk on his face. "We'll be sure to show her a good time, she's in good hooves, this friend of yours. Sorry for jumping in on your meal." The stallion patted his hooves against my shoulders, almost bashing them in with as much force as he put on them. "Sorry, chum. Just all in your space..." The stallion then leaned into my ears and whispered. "Get home safely."

The two stallions finished their food and started to walk out of the diner, leaving an emerald on the table. While the two walked out, Starlight and I both took a sigh of relief. The mare shuddered at the stallion. "Ugh, something about him screams bad news."

She wasn't wrong. "So how do you think we get home from here?" I asked quietly. "They probably know we were listening in, especially since neither of us were really talking."

Starlight groaned out of dismay. "Aww, I forgot to strike up a conversation like we WEREN'T listening in! I'm so sorry, I'm so used to doing the whole espionage thing by myself. Never really had a partner-in-crime on hoof."

I started to take a glance out to the front door, seeing the two avert their gaze from us and walking off into the night. There was no doubt that they'd have us walk home in the dark and find some way to chase us into some dark alley before doing the worst to either of us. And if I'm remembering my Sunday morning experience, I know exactly what he'll do to me. "We can't just teleport ourselves out, right? I don't know that spell."

"You wouldn't be able to do it anyhow. That's a calling spell that's awfully hard to pull off without straining yourself mentally. You'd easily overcompensate." Starlight explained. "And I can't really do it with other ponies that well yet. By myself is fine, but I haven't mastered using others for it."

I found myself thinking about the moment I was going over my thoughts while packing my clothes, it was moments before the portal back home was opened to me for the first time. I was in Rarity's boutique before being transported across town to Twilight's castle. Right then, I was reminded of who was easily capable of performing that feat. I then looked over to the bathroom and nodded. "I'm gonna go to the little boys room."

I quickly got out of my seat and trotted over to the bathroom to summon my phone. I quickly sent Twilight a text to tell her that the both of us were in trouble and that we needed to be transported out as quick as possible. As soon as I finished, I dismissed my phone and waited for the inevitable scene change.

A door swung open from one of the stalls and I was greeted with a familiar face... one I didn't want to see. "Well lookit."

My head swung around to see the burly stallion quickly approaching me with a knife. I flared up my magic and shot a bolt his way, blasting him against the wall. I made a gallop for the door before I had found my hindleg pulled into the air. My body was tripped and my head landed chin-first against the floor as the subordinate revealed himself from inside of the stall nearest to the exit. I then shot a bolt towards the unicorn, who immediately countered my attack with his own. And since he was holding me at the same time, he made sure his attack didn't miss. Instead of being able to counter it correctly, I was swung into it like a baseball bat, then dropped to the ground as every last one of my limbs were stunned.

It was honestly an impressive maneuver, but it was a dirty one in the context of magic dueling.

Prod got up from my attack, brushing himself off. "Huh, gotta admit that one tickled a fair bit. Got me feelin' a mite excited for ya." The stallion went for his knife and muttered in a low voice. "I might let ya live if ya value your life a little less."

I struggled to move any of my limbs before the lanky unicorn stood on my back. "Don't even try to scream. You'll only get your head cut off."

Prod lightly placed his hoof against my cheek before slapping me, knocking me loose before grabbing my head. "I knew I saw your fuckin' twink arse 'round somewhere. You still owe me a weapon."

The unicorn standing on my back chuckled. "He up and messed on you, eh boss?"

"Nah." The stallion stated. "He and I were gonna trade, my zebra wench for one of the human snappers. Guess I'll be changing the offer a bit."

"A snapper huh, you mean one of those sword-breaking weapons? He's got access to those?" Short asked.

"Probably already does." The stallion replied. "Just never had any intention to sell... until now." Prod then moved his sidekick out of the way and flipped me over to glide his knife against my exposed belly. "So let's find out if he was legit, or if he was snappin' a grogan."

The stallion started to dig the tip of the knife into my belly, not enough to plunge through the skin completely but enough to cause me a great deal of pain while drawing some blood.

But before he could do more damage to me, my body had started glowing.

Within a blink of my eyes, I was laying on my back in the lobby of the castle. I looked around to see the sight of Twilight standing before her student, asking her where I was. As soon as Starlight pointed to me, I could see Twilight's eyes draw wide open. She ran over to me to check if I was okay, but first noticing the blood on my stomach.

"Boy am I glad you pulled through in enough time. Shit was gonna get real ugly real quick."

"What happened!?" Starlight asked, helping me up to my hooves.

"I went to the bathroom to send that text. Both of them had the drop on me." I said as Twilight summoned up some alcohol to clean my cut. "Goes to show how much I know about espionage. Bastards probably already had the place mapped out for any variety of tactics. They know who I am, not exactly who I am outside of this form, but that burly bastard was the one I ran into on accident just this past Sunday."

"On accident?" Twilight questioned.

"YOU WENT TO CANTERROT BY YOURSELF!?" Starlight shouted, almost appearing angry.

"Again, accident." I stressed. "I thought I could navigate my way around the city by memory, plus I didn't know how to summon items so using my phone wasn't an option. I got cocky and found myself looking for a way out, that necrophiliac son of a bitch caught me with my pants down."

Starlight then questioned me. "The one we just saw, he knows what you look like in that form?"

"Instantly." I replied.

"You can't go back, not ever." Twilight warned strictly.

"That or you're gonna have to kill him." Starlight advised, much to the chagrin of her instructor. "I know, cruel, but if you try to go back, you will get ousted and possibly done in or worse."

I shook my head at the mare. "I already know what worse is. That fucker there will lop my head off and fuck my body long after it gets cold."

"Can you alter your appearance?" Starlight questioned.

"Not that I know of." I replied. "And it's not like I wasn't already punished for just my wondering in by accident into the Corrotto District. Celestia kept me under royal restriction after she found out, Luna had told her what I told her about my experience under the daylight hours."

Twilight held her head, worrying herself as she thought more about me. "Then you cannot, under any circumstances, find your way back there. You have to stay until the situation clears out."

"I can't do that." I argued. "And besides, I have someone else to report my findings to."

It took some time to explain what was going on to Shining, Blueblood, Luna, and Celestia. Twilight managed to accompany me for the trip just to get more of a grasp on the situation. Starlight stayed behind under strict orders from Twilight, pretty much to keep watch over the castle in case those goonies were to suddenly reappear.

Meanwhile, I had finished up my report, while Blueblood was already calculating the next move. "So this Prod fellow, he's aware of your appearance but not of your identity?"

"Correct."

Luna tapped her hoof impatiently. "Damn. I suppose we should alter the appearance of your equine form. Perhaps a change in coat color?"

"Coat color won't do much if he knows your voice." Shining interjected. "You're going to have to disguise that as well."

Celestia then asked me. "So what exactly happened with this encounter in the bathroom?"

"The unicorn guy had the drop on me. I managed to blast Prod off of me pretty easily, but the other guy plays dirty with his magic. Is it usually possible to simultaneously cast beams and levitate at the same time?"

"Very." Twilight quickly replied. "I've levitated myself and used a teleportation spell at the same time once before. Starlight levitated herself in midair as we fought against one another. Cadance can use up to three spells at once. It's not impossible, but it does show the skill of this unicorn you're talking about."

"Which completely outclasses you." Shining supplemented while starting to levitate a sword. "Up until now, your main advantage had been the weaponry you used and your ability to plan for the immediate future. But you've been slipping on that since you've got out of the hospital. Now's not the time to forget that portion of your abilities."

"He's right, you know." Blueblood cosigned. "You have to be willing to reactivate that part of your repertoire. Your running in as of late hasn't exactly come with the best results. At one point, you even proceeded to boil dental floss in brine just to neutralize Shining's magic. Same method applies. Even if your body is neutralized, your mind and vision is not." Blueblood levitated the sword from Shining's grasp and started brandishing it himself. "I know your focus has shifted towards the political, but don't forget that the first part of valor is discretion, knowing when and how to strike."

"I forgot you used to be a guard yourself." Shining muttered to the blond prince.

"You didn't find that out until a few days ago." Blueblood replied.

Twilight immediately interrupted the two. "Banter aside, Nondis cannot keep doing this assignment now. If he needs to better his magic, then he needs to be training more than anything else."

"Training takes time." Luna retorted plainly. "Training in that level of magic could take years before he's able to be skilled enough to make for a passable caster. His strides are nothing short of remarkable, but they won't be enough for this. Just getting him used to the basics is enough for now."

"And nopony is going to alter the laws of time to be able to make those years pack into a few days." Shining added.

Twilight groaned as she started to pace back and forth. "Well how about Discord? He has a dimension that clearly has no time or rhythm to it, at least from what Fluttershy tells me."

Celestia proceeded to shut down the idea. "Out of the question. His world is the realm of the ether itself, which is bound to chaos magic. Not a single pony has trained themselves to withstand it, and neither is there a single pony capable of wielding chaos magic. Nondis may be from a different dimension, but that does not make him able to withstand the vast differences of the physics of that world. Staying here in Equestria has already altered his physical state and mental capabilities."

"And if there is no time or rhythm to it as you say, then who's to assume that he will return in a few days or a few years?" Luna stated while walking up to me. "His physical capabilities have been altered in staying here as long as he did. What if his body wasn't able to handle that much ether? Until Fluttershy can give us a summation of the effects that place has on an equine body, then we cannot risk this more than we already have."

"For now, we have to move forward with what we've got. He can learn more along the way." Shining stated before moving back to the main issue at hand. "Now, if I remember the main thing I was hearing in all of this, they've got a hit out on Single File, Count DuMoneé's former apprentice."

"And he has valuable information when it pertains to those accounts. It would be viable to make provisions to keep him protected until the necessary information has been extracted and the operation reaches it's conclusion." Luna said while going through a large pile of papers to pull out a map of the entire kingdom. She pointed to an isolated farm to the south next to a craggy landmass. "In terms of isolation, this would be the ideal place. He can assume a new identity and he'll be far enough from civilization to be considered as a missing pony."

"The only problem is access and distance." Blueblood replied, starting to explain his logic. "It's one thing to hold him in isolation at a rock farm, it's another to make frequent trips to that rock farm in the next month without it being suspicious to any onlookers. Even if we were to use a private train, the schedule is slated for about once every two weeks to that specific location, mainly to drop off supplies and food for that particular family. Remember, that town only has a population of five. So we'd have to change the train schedule to accommodate our visits."

"And I hate riding the train, so that's out. Not only that, but there's many sheep crossings that usually hold that line up. Crystal Quarry wouldn't be a place he'd like to stay in for a good amount of time, and I don't think he'd be able to handle a diet of rocks either." I said, placing a curled knuckle against my lips. "And if he's there, he'd have to work the entire time on that rock farm. Not a fun way to pass the time."

"I think he'll live with that." Twilight said emphatically. "Life on a rock farm versus death where he is."

Celestia shook hear head. "It sounds like a good idea, but that would compromise the issue of secrecy. It would be giving away too much to have Nondis or even some random guard ask questions in some remote location. It would be easier if we had the technology Nondis has, but we have no means of being able to convey it's usage past Canterlot and Ponyville, perhaps even Cloudsdale."

Twilight started to look at me before an unusual suggestion came to her lips. "How about the back end of Canterlot? Nondis has some connections with someone over there, I'm sure he'd like to stay there amongst the lavish and posh of high society. It's secluded and secured enough to keep ponies like that Prod guy out!"

"Big negative." I replied, earning a frown from the young princess. "I just got called out for fewer visits I can count on one hand. If I got booted out on the virtue of a few complaints from the neighbors, then he's gonna get thrown out without question. And plus they'd sure as hell have some frequenters of the nightlife the Corrotto District provides. One word from an angry neighbor and that would be the end of it."

"Furthermore, security is a private industry for them, completely separated from the municipality of Canterlot proper. Just getting through the checkpoints, as Nondis can testify, is hell on it's own. It would be hard to even get past the first two for information, much less crossing all four to interrogate a pony in their backyard." Shining added.

"Cloudsdale is isolated, but pegasus ponies can be bought in to do the job of compromising that security." Luna stated.

"Manehattan is too far away and the security detail would be too costly for something like this." Celestia said with a hum.

"Las Pegasus is too far and it's a breeding ground for mobsters to make a quick bit. Appleloosa is a good choice in theory, but it's in the way of the main rail lines, so that practice falls flat. The Crystal Empire is great for communicating, but their guards are inadequately trained to handle a threat such as a trained assassin." Blueblood said, narrowing down the options.

"Hollow Shades is a remote area that could do well to hide a pony, but an even better one to hide a body, the trip is too perilous. None of the major cities would be ideal because of train access. Ponyville has too little security and it's much closer." Shining compiled on our list even more options.

As the list of places that had significant flaws grew, an idea started to formulate in my mind. It was a radical one that would ultimately be a substantial risk if done poorly, but it was one that had everything going right for it if there was ever the case of him needing to be someplace safe as well as someplace easy for us to get to. And even though some parts of my mind were screaming that I shouldn't do this, there was the bright lone spot that offered a much bigger opportunity.

And I was a stickler for dumb shit that could work. "How about we put him in my world?"

"WHAT!?" The entire room erupted with every royal face fixated on me.

While many scenarios started to play out in my mind, I started to feel more confident in myself. "Yeah, balls to the wall, we scoop him up and throw in on over in my world. He'd at least be easy to look after and get access to."

Of course, Twilight was left flabbergasted and more antagonistic towards the idea. "You do realize what you're suggesting is highly irresponsible. Why not just simply keep him here at the castle?"

"Because that senator who called the hit, he's got family in the ranks." I pointed back at her.

"Well it only depends on the rank─" Twilight tried to argue before her brother stopped her dead in place.

"Not if it completely supersedes my military authority. After all, it could very well be the same pony who managed to sign off on Rainbow's assignment to the Arimaspi Mountain deployment."

Blueblood further solidified the argument. "All it takes is one order from the top, and a little bit of paperwork in the matter of a few hours. Knowing the worst, he could've already drafted something of a response to this. He could easily have him arrested and detained in a shallow dungeon with the general populace. Pay a few goons to incite a riot, pay another to do the job while all the commotion takes place, and we'd be left with a cadaver and no access to the accounts."

"No information wouldn't necessarily mean that we'd be in a worse spot, it would just mean that we'd be in a less ideal situation. But the more information we can gather for the short-run, the better." Luna advised.

Celestia walked beside me as she addressed me. "Nondis, if you are going to do this, then I suggest that you speak with your friends on the matter. If they can keep him occupied, I'm sure that he will find much to learn while opening up to the lot of you. This would be a great opportunity to slowly open the door between our worlds."

"But fail and we have another situation that the parliament would be calling us in for." Twilight urged with a persistent glare towards me. "If they come for you, we can't protect you like we normally would. They'll shut us out and deal with you privately."

I glanced back at the sun princess with a wink. "Didn't I already lose my job once this month?"

The princess giggled in retaliation. "Maybe for just a minute, but you will have to be careful."

"Safe to say that your effort will have to transpire quickly. It would be preferred that you'd find him, take him to Ponyville, and use the portal there. Using the portal here would eventually gather the attention of his disappearance in-house. He cannot be seen in this castle." Said Luna, reinforcing the idea of keeping some semblance of separation between our distinctive parties.

"They might be a little curious about Single File's disappearance from Canterlot's daily life. It would be better to put up some sort of front like he hadn't disappeared." I said, thinking out loud.

Blueblood snickered under his breath. "Well it's not like we have a changeling in our possession."

"We do?" Celestia questioned. "I thought Nondis eliminated all of the prisoners we detained."

Shining rolled his eyes as he held up a hoof. "All... except one. To my reluctance, Blueblood and I agreed to keep one for our purpose, but this was before the situation had changed for the worse."

Celestia pursed her lips and glanced to her princes. "Hmm... resourceful of the two of you."

"Solid." I confirmed with a thumbs up. "Now I believe if changelings can transform into items as well as creatures, we might be on to something big."

"Finally putting that brain of yours to use?" Blueblood joked. "Good to have this version of you back."

I laughed right back at the blond-maned prince. "He's just visiting for the day."

It didn't take a lot of effort to see where Single File would be located. Since his work was still around the castle, it was easy to slip a note over to him by means of a few eager maids looking to be in my good graces. The note I wrote out specifically told him to meet with me at the park downtown.

Instead of simply going over his place of residence, I was advised to meet with him at a neutral location. The reason for being was because of any potential residents that would end up on the short-list of ponies who'd be a primary target to lure him back out. And simply talking on castle grounds was more of a risk because of the massive amount of guards present. It only took one to eavesdrop and tell their superior what they saw. And if anything happened that a certain commander didn't like, he'd place me under restriction to get at Single File. In short, I couldn't truly talk about this other than in the least-likely place to have a covert conversation about life or death.

The park was a winner in my mind because of the scenery and the emotional impact the place still has on him.

I waited for around forty minutes before he finally showed up on the bench behind me. While I pretended to play on my phone, I observed the surrounding area just to check on any potential onlookers. Just in case, I was more then content to hide my mouth behind a scarf since it was snowing outside. The young stallion sat quietly for a moment before he spoke. "I trust you asked me to come here for a health check?"

"Yes and no." I answered. "But I am curious of how you're managing."

The stallion didn't turn around, appearing quite used to talking like this in the open. "It's great, if you call being demoted to a desk keeper and having your ex-girlfriend drop you for a professional athlete nothing short of an advantage."

"Better days ahead then, huh?" I questioned.

"What do you know?" The young stallion asked, sounding very much upset. "I lost everything since Count died! My standing, my internship, a good amount of my income, my girlfriend, my future, all gone! I worked hard for years to get to this point, my hoof was in the door. I know he wasn't exactly the shining model of being an exceptional citizen, much less a role model, but he at least opened doors for me. Now what is there in my life, the only thing I can say is always there when I look for it is a good drink."

"And sometimes that drink is never enough, sometimes you'd want to go for something a little harder." I said quietly. The stallion started to turn around before he remembered that we weren't supposed to be seen talking directly to one another. "I know I'm supposed to be this shining figure in the eyes of many, but how many have actually known what happened to me before I was summoned to Equestria? How many others truly know about the self-doubt and the anger that went through my mind as I made the decisions that led to my being here? You have any idea what it feels like to be strung out on drugs while driving a Lexus, only to find yourself drowning underwater the next minute?"

The stallion had many questions about me, but one pretty much stuck out to him. "What's a Lexus?"

I shook my head and shrugged at the fact that the only thing that seemed to grab his attention was the car. "...How about a better question. Do you want to find out?"

Single File brushed off my suggestion. "Nah, I think I'll just stay with my favorite bar. At least the ponies there at happy hour are nice to me."

I think I'm starting to see his vice. "Hey, can I be frank with you?"

"What?" The stallion replied.

"Not everyone in that bar is gonna be your friend." I started to explain. "It may seem like there could be some guys who'd buy your drinks while you won't get to spend a dime, but the truth is that they aren't doing it because they like you. Sometimes they do it to take advantage of you, just to see how far you go to fit in. Your friends are the ones who tell you to stop, they'll be the first to knock you in the face to sort you out. Those other guys, they just wanna get you toasted real good so that you don't even care what's happening around you."

"Maybe I like my occasional hangovers." Retorted the young stallion. "Maybe I like the feel of a good time. What's wrong with that?"

I sighed as I started to sink a little more in my seat. "My guy, I know you don't really know me or might not even respect me as much, but I am gonna be real with you." I leaned back, pretending to stretch my arms out forward. I then whispered over to him. "There's a hit out on you."

As I finished stretching, I could feel the stallion's body locking up at the news he just received, and I wasn't even touching him. Just the aura he gave off was more than enough to show how mortified he was to know that his days would be numbered so soon. He then took a moment to laugh off the absurdity of the news. "Yeah, and I'm sure it was Count who called it then? A hit from beyond the grave..."

"You'll be dead by dawn. They intend to get you drunk, drug you, and drop you off... all before sunup in the Corrotto District."

The stallion sank himself onto the bench, lying down as he took in the news of his pending assassination. "You said the Corrotto District... Canterrot, right?"

"To say it in the accent of your executor, Resting in pieces in the Rotty." I said, mimicking an Australian accent.

The stallion then curled up into a ball, completely terrified over everything that was happening. It took him some time to process all of it, a few minutes in silence to soak it in while his fears started to culminate in his mind. "...Not like this... please not in that place..."

I didn't look back as I politely levitated a one-way ticket to Ponyville station, keeping my hand hidden in my coat as I did so. He looked at the ticket floating above him as I spoke. "This is your ticket out of here, quite possibly for a chance at a new life. The final destination isn't written on this ticket, but this is the first step of discovering a new lease on life."

The stallion gazed at the ticket, grabbing it out from in front of him. "When do we leave?"

"Thirty minutes. You won't be going back to work for a while." I stated.

"When do you think they'll come for me?" He asked.

"The moment we get off of this bench. I'm sure they've got friends who will be following up. But if you want to live, you'll drop everything here and get moving." I responded while looking around the park for any onlookers. "The station is ten minutes away."

The stallion then looked back at me, watching as I stood up to walk away. "But why do this for─"

"Move your ass." I ordered, leading him to the station.

He immediately jumped up and galloped beside me, trying to make sure that he was as close to me as possible, more terrified of even the foals who ran past us. The stallion kept looking around to see if anyone was following us. As soon as we got to the corner, he started tugging on my coat. "Do you think we're being followed right now?"

"If the hit's on you, best believe it."

Ponyville Train Station
Three Hours Later...

My warning proved as fact.

As we showed up to the Canterlot Train Station, I saw two stallions who was both sitting at a nearby coffee table. I turned around and pulled out my phone, turned on the facecam to observe what the would do next. And just as suspicious as they looked, they pulled down the corners of their papers and glared directly at the both of us. They would not stop looking until the final whistle for boarding sounded from the train. Single File asked what I was doing as I held my phone in front of my face, not looking ahead for him.

I instructed him not to turn around but keep moving forward. As soon as we got on the train, I could see the two stallions sit at a booth maybe five seats down from us. I then whistled for the conductor to come over, warned him of any stowaways while offering our two tickets. I also proceeded to point out which seat the two stallions were sitting at. The conductor then held the train from leaving, commencing a ticket count to compare with the amount of seats used.

He quickly came to the conclusion that there were at least three more seats that were filled than tickets obtained. He had to quickly re-verify every passenger before he came to the two stallions. After realizing that their situation had been compromised, they started to grow confrontational with the conductor. I quickly stepped in and offered to correct them if they felt the need to be disorderly. They accepted the invitation before getting tasered into submission. I finally ordered for them to be detained for further investigation.

That whole sequence took an entire hour off of our train schedule.

The ride to Ponyville was mostly quiet for the others, but very noisy to me on the account of my having music playing to distract myself from being on the train. And when we pulled up to the station, I took a gander at the platform to see if there were any others who had stuck around, especially considering that third seat being filled without a ticket. But after we came to a complete stop, a final accomplice was held by the mane while he grimaced at the two of us getting away from him.

I sent a text to Twilight prior to leaving Canterlot, saying that I needed to have Starlight intercept us in the lobby. And just as I intended, Starlight had accompanied us along the way to my apartment just short of the castle. The three of us were then greeted with Twilight in my room before we were all teleported to the portal room.

Single File then stared at the mirror hooked into a series of wires and devices. "What is this place?"

"The doorway to your safety." I responded, pointing towards the portal. "That right there is a portal that leads directly into my world. You'll be there for at least a month."

"A MONTH... IN YOUR WORLD!?" The stallion exclaimed, the hairs of his mane standing on edge.

"Honestly, I think that you're the lucky one of all of us here." Starlight muttered.

Spike, who walked through the door, was surprised by Single File's sudden appearance. "Single File, what are you doing here?"

The stallion tried to play off his jittery nerves while he replied to the drake. "Well, I guess things weren't as easy for me after Count's death. Turns out I'm not very much appreciated by somepony specific."

"Let me guess, they're threatening to beat you up to keep you quiet?" Spike inquired.

"More like they're going to do to him what they were trying to do to me." I answered.

"You mean forge your signature so that when you die, your body gets retained by the Equestrian Bureau of Heath Sciences for an anatomical viewing process being overseen by Twilight?" The dragon replied, causing Starlight to gawk at him and glance over to me.

Single File, who actually forged my signature, lowered his head as he sheepishly replied. "Well... not quite that intense of a degree."

I shrugged as I started to think to myself aloud. "Huh, the universe sure as hell has an interesting way of making things come full-circle."

"Why do you say that?" Asked Twilight.

"The whole reason I'm fighting for you guys is because I was hopped up on drugs to start off with. I couldn't remember that first day too clearly for months until Chrysalis showed it to me. Then on top of it, if she hadn't left me for dead, I'd be killing ponies left and right."

"More like you'd be encased in stone." Twilight then corrected me.

"Or that." I conceded. "And the way that we was gonna get put out for good was that they were gonna get him drunk, drug the poor guy till he can't feel his face, and then feed him to some hungry creature before the sun rises."

"That isn't what happened to you though." Twilight argued.

"Drunk, drugged, damn-near drowned." I said, counting off three fingers. "At least where we're taking him will be safe enough to let him drink. I could take him to the frathouse and let him crack one back with the boys as soon as he gets used to the place." I started to think a little more and nodded slowly. "Oh yeah, you're gonna be a fratboy for real."

"A fratboy, in a HUMAN fraternity!? I don't know if you noticed it, but I don't recall walking on two legs or not having a horn at any part in my life."

"Today's where all of that changes, bub." I replied. "Now of course if I leave you as an equine, there's more trouble to be had on my end, but I'd rather you learn to do as the Romans do when in Rome."

He started to chuckle nervously. "Hey, I guess that's simple enough. Monkey see, monkey do."

"Just like me and you." I replied, holding a hand out to him.

"So what is that supposed to mean exactly?" The stallion asked.

My hand started to glow with a white aura, my arm following suit as his body was quickly enveloped in my magic. "It means hold still."

The stallion's jaw dropped as he shouted back at me. "WAIT, YOU HAVE MAGIC!?!"

The stallion rose a few inches into the air as his body started to ache and transform. Before he could bring about any complaint about the experience, a plume of smoke appeared around him, engulfing him inside of it. Twilight shook her head at me while Starlight giggled. Spike looked on silently as the stallion started to groan from the sensation of being transformed. I then started to call out loudly to the pile of smoke.

"Warning: Side effects of your transformation may vary, some have reported headaches, stinging joints, itchy limbs, chills, disorientation, depression, and possible sexual arousal. These effects should be temporary and offer you very few issues within the next five minutes. Do not try to walk without a designated human to assist you in your care. And please notify us of any unusual features that you may or may not have. Consult a doctor if you have an erection that lasts for over four hours, or proceed to bust a nut as soon as possible to satiate the arousal. If you are feeling lusty, material will be provided at your leisure. Thank you for choosing human, we hope you fly with us again."

"Is that supposed to be a disclaimer?" Twilight questioned with a deadpan expression.

"As long as he ain't dying, we're fine." I replied as the transformed stallion rose up on his knees. He held the side of his head with his right fist.

"Ugh... my head feels like I just got my horn knocked off with a sledgehammer." He felt around to see if his horn was present, which it very much wasn't. As soon as his eyes opened up, his head jumped back to see that it was a fist he was wiping against his brow. He then started to bend it, appearing very disgusted with his appearance. He then looked down to see his body in all of it's mostly hairless glory. The only place that seemed to have some legitimate hair aside from on top of his head was his pubic region, which he proceeded to lightly knead. "What the hell is this nasty-looking thing?" He said before knocking his fist into it.

Instantly, we could see the look of pure agony and regret on his face as he cringed at the intense pain of punching himself in the balls. The transformed human howled out loudly as he quickly learned how to nurture those two items dangling between his legs. I couldn't help but look away in sympathy, holding my own package in response. Starlight didn't appear phased by it, but Twilight cringed and covered her muzzle.

The stallion groaned with displeasure as he whimpered at me. "Why is THAT down THERE!? Why is it THERE!?"

As much as I really didn't want to hold my hand out for a guy who just got through grabbing at his junk, I had very little choice in helping him stand up. "Trust me, it's worth the trouble."

"How do you live like this!?" He asked.

"Well, just try not to be a dick to anyone and you might not get kicked or punched there again." I answered, still offering my hand. "Now come on, we gotta get you clothed and walking."

The stallion started to recover from the pain as he grabbed my hand. I tried not to let that once instance be too much of a distraction as I helped him up. Single File, upon getting up on his own feet, started to wobble and hold onto my shoulder for aid. He turned his head to me and whined. "What is wrong with you humans? How do you walk like this?"

"Balance is all in the feet. Try not to walk so much like you would as an equine. The legs you stand on now can be equated to your hindlimbs. You won't have to balance yourself at the center of your body anymore, just let your feet and legs do all the work. The rest should come pretty natural."

"And how do I go about that?" The transformed stallion asked.

I leaned him off of me, encouraging him to find his own balance instead of relying on me. "Alright, you equines learn how to walk fairly quickly compared to us humans, so now I expect this to be no different for you. Now, plant your feet flat on the ground, don't bend forward of backward, keep your back straight. Keep your knees braced, don't lock them."

He went about my instructions, still wobbling around for a while until he got used to having a human's sense of equilibrium. Single was finally able to keep himself standing still for a minute, but was mortified to move out of fear of falling over.

"I know, it's a lot taller than you're used to. But if you fall down, you can just get back up and try again." I said standing beside him. "Now, move your left hindleg forward, bend your knee and land your foot at the point where it looks like a ball at the back of it." He did as I instructed, albeit a tad wobbly. "Now put the rest of that weight onto your left foot. What's gonna happen naturally is that your right foot, the ball you used to make that first step with your left, will come up until you feel a small area still touching the ground. That's your toes giving your foot the anchorage to stand still, but also providing the propulsion to move forward. Try picking that one up and moving it in front of the other like you did with your left foot."

He proceeded to do as instructed, quickly realizing that the method of him walking was solely on his legs and not his arms. Though he didn't move his arms as naturally, trying to use them reach out like he was still using hooves. "I...I think I got it."

Twilight took a moment to use her magic, moving his arms from out in front of him to his sides, swinging them for him. "You might not want to walk like that. Instead, let your arms swing in tandem to your steps, keep your shoulders loose. You'll keep your balance easier and you'll be able to do a lot more while walking. It would also look pretty weird to the other humans if you just walk around with your forelegs outstretched."

I looked to the princess and saw that she had that part of the instruction down to a few specific details. It was more than enough to be able to instruct him and give me the time to make other preparations. "Hey Twilight, can you keep him on this while I go ready up my apartment. I'm also gonna check if Mel and Stanton are on over."

"Leaving me to do your dirty work, huh?" Twilight said with a sarcastic smirk.

"Nah, you got the human thing down, so you can teach him how to translate it from a pony's perspective a whole lot better." I answered before walking off to continue with the preparations.

"Fine, leave me with the naked human male who also happens to be a pony."

"I'll bring back some clothes when I'm done."

Twenty Minutes Later...

After a quick conversation about his situation as well as his stay, Mel insisted that he'd stay in the apartment for the time being, at least a week before we would throw him into the fire known as twenty-first century living. She also added that he needed to learn how to use all of our technology if he was going to stay for a while, at least be able to operate a microwave in case he were to get hungry. We also discussed getting him a prepaid phone, similar to how we did with Twilight.

We also had a long conversation about the elephant in the room, his drinking habits. I suggested that he'd get only one can of beer per day to curb some of the drinking down. Of course, they'd have to be the tall ones, to at least give him something substantial without going overboard. She would also keep the beers over at her house as a way to monitor his drinking habits.

Clothes, as far as I was concerned, was the easy part. He could wear some of my old stuff until we go and get him some nice looking outfits to span an entire week. Of course I would have to teach him how to dress for the time being, but that was not a problem. After all, I'm sure he was capable of picking something out that looked good since he was used to being around the politically-inclined for most of his working life.

At last, everything was settled and we welcomed Single File into the human world... by means of my own bathroom.

He looked around to see a shower to his left and a mirror to his right. He started to glare back at himself, bemoaning the disappearance of his horn and fur. Instead of his usual coat of light gray fur and his sunset red mane, he was staring at a fair-skinned man with a copper-colored head of hair. His body was skinny and his features appeared to be more youthful. His eyes were green while he had shaven stubble for his beard and mustache. Ultimately, he looked the part of a guy that would do well in either a brown suit or a gray plaid shirt. He also noticed that he stood at around five-foot-eight, well beneath me.

"Admittedly..." I started as I tilted my head a bit. "You put on some glasses and you could totally murder the whole nerd-chic thing. Oh you've got to be careful out there, you might land you a girlfriend around here."

"I look hideous." He whimpered.

"Because you're not used to the human aesthetic, haven't been around us for too long and you've been around Count too damn much. Give it a day or two before you get comfy with the skin you're in." I turned him to me and placed my hands on his shoulders. "Other than that, you're fucking handsome."

"If you call it that, then thank you." Single File replied.

"Now... for a name. Single File doesn't quite work over here, so you're gonna have to go with something a little more normal to our standards."

The transformed pony rolled his eyes. "Ugh, why do I have to go through so much rigmarole to be here?"

I placed a hand on my chin, browsing through some suggestions out loud. "You do a lot of understudy and sometimes some work involving messaging. If I wanna go by Greek mythology, then it narrows down to Athena or Hermes. But given that Athena is a girl's name, I guess Hermes will do."

"What in Equestria is a 'Hermes'?" He asked, completely confused over what I was talking about. "Isn't that like some sort of crab?"

"There's this ancient religion that's out of practice by the olden Greek peoples. Hermes was known to be the god of messages, almost instantly being able to move between the realms of the gods, the human realm, and the land of the dead. You, in your case, will have moved between this world and the world you know as Equestria. So honestly, I don't think I can give you a better human name."

"You're naming me after a god?" He asked, a tad bit overwhelmed.

"Just roll with this one. I guess we can throw together a last name for you and say that you're a distant cousin on my uncle's side. Hermes Haines... no. Hermes Williamsburg... no. Hermes Brown... too ethnic to be believed. Hermes... Hermes... Hermes... Ball. Hermes Black, Hermes... Balfour... that one. You're name is Hermes Balfour, Herm for short."

"Can I just stick to Hermes for now?" He asked, rubbing his head. "All these names are making my head hurt."

"Just as long as you remember that Balfour is your last name, you can get by. Other than that, I hereby dub thee the name of Hermes the Ginger."

He then glanced at me with a look of speculation. "Actually, Ginger is a lot easier to remember for the color of my mane. That and the fact that Ginger is also an Equestrian first name. I'd like my last name to be Ginger instead."

"Whatever is easier for you." I replied, shrugging away the fact that he just threw out the really awesome name combo I gave him. But since it was his name for the time of his extended stay, I couldn't disallow him to have a say in the matter. So I agreed to the name. "Simple enough. Hermes Ginger, welcome to the human world. More specifically, the city of Austin. My hometown."

I finally walked to the bathroom door and opened up to reveal the room where he would be sleeping in for the time being. He looked around, his jaw falling to the floor as the accommodations looked so completely beyond the years of his usual living arrangements. The TV on the wall, the computer by the corner, the LED keyboard that flashed a rainbow of colors, the large bed sitting against the wall beside the window, the sleek black design of the bedframe, he couldn't help himself but to touch everything. Hitting the keyboard brought up my login screen.

I walked beside him and hit the icon, watching quietly as the word 'Welcome' flashed on the screen before transitioning to my internet browser. On the screen was the YouTube home page. He looked at me, expecting me to explain what he was seeing. "Yeah, this is a computer. We use these in tandem with out phones to find information and communicate with others around the world. You could send a message to a land that's like well over tens of thousands of miles away at the tap of a button."

The stallion gawked at me at the small fact thrown at him. "You're joking!"

"Nope." I replied. Just ask me about anything.

"Government leadership!" He shouted. "Who's the leader of this establishment?"

"The city, the state, or the country?" I asked.

"Country, city, the world, whatever!" He demanded, growing more antsy by the second.

I opened a new tab to Google, then typed in his desired search. Upon the first few letters, it started suggesting things to look up. The stallion's eyes grew to be that of a foal's, watching as the wealth of information was simply being shown to him by means of a few button presses. Without any hesitation, the search engine pulled up a picture of the 44th President of the United States.

"Wow... the leader of another world, his face is right here before me."

I then went back to Google to type in his name, what followed was a series of speeches and debates. The transformed stallion's eyes stayed enormous as a video started playing, repeating the speech he made the day of his inauguration. The massive cheers started to distort the speakers as the picture faded from the scene of the president and millions of people cheering on the national mall.

"There's so many humans... How many were actually there?"

"Just above a million or so." I replied.

"That's well beyond the entire metro population of Manehattan." He said, grabbing at his cheeks.

I paused the video to pull up another Google search, typing in the word 'Manehattan'. Instead of getting the picture he expected, he got a booming metropolis filled with glass and concrete. At the top of the search was the edited result. 'Showing results for manhattan. Search instead for manehattan'

As he glared at the picture, I pulled out my phone and looked up the population of Manhattan. I tapped his shoulder and told him to read the number. 1.6 million. I then typed in New York City on the computer to give him a total view of the city. He was almost driven to tears as the image showed on the screen.

I also managed to look up the total population of the city. 8.5 million was the number he mouthed out before falling limp into the chair next to us. "This is... this is crazy... It's so much bigger than Manehattan. You weren't kidding about that seven billion, were you?"

I then started to temper his expectations. "Now just to warn you, that's not what you're gonna see when you walk out the front door. That's New York City, a whole seventeen hundred miles north from here. We're in Austin, which is much smaller."

I started to search up another picture, before he shouted out to me. "WAIT!" It honestly startled me. "Don't show me that here, show me when we leave this place."

"It'll be a while before you do." I admitted. "It's gonna be a week before you at least get accustomed to the surroundings and lifestyle─"

"It'll be shorter than that! I promise!" He pleaded while jumping out of his seat. "I'll do whatever it takes to learn how to be a human. You've got me on to something huge now. I can't imagine going back to the old days of fumbling through some dusty file cabinets without thinking about what all I'm gonna see in the next few days. Teach me everything I need to know about being a human, I promise I'll keep at it and you'll see me ready to go in three days. No more than that. I want to know more about this world, everything it has, the government structure, the leadership, the food, the beer, everything! I want to do as the Romans do, however you said it! This is all so amazing!"

I chuckled at the young politician. "You're a lot like me in that regard. Guess letting you die would've been a real shame. But I guess one bad ex-girlfriend isn't the only thing to obsess about, is it? It's almost like there's a purpose to living on past the hurt."

Hermes, looked at the computer screen, still seeing the image of the entirety of the New York City skyline, and placed his hand over his heart, taking in the newfound desire he sought to satiate. "Is this what it really means to be human?"

I patted him on the shoulder. "No. This is what it means to be alive. Period."

The Next Day...

Shortly after reintroducing him to the others, who weren't too personally thrilled to work with him after what he tried to pull on me a while back, he started working hard on learning all he could to act as human as possible while being reassigned to my world. If anything, all the complaints he had to start off with had completely disappeared when he saw just how amazing the human world could be. One could even call his method of approach overzealous, as he would burn through his minutes, learning how to use a phone and calling Mel for whatever other tips on how to adapt. Even sent me a number of texts in the midst of learning how to text.

Unfortunately he was so determined to do so that I had to put my phone on silent when I went to bed.

So when I woke up this morning, I could see a ton of texts, around 287 messages, with around 285 coming from him and two from Mel saying that she wanted to uninstall the messenger app from his phone. But as I looked more into the conversation he started on my feed, I saw that the lettering had gotten better, spelling was much better over time, and even had precise grammar. Towards the end of the message feed, it almost read out like an official state document, professionally worded and spell-checked. He then sent one more message saying that he had 'mastered the art of the human method of distribution pertaining to the messaging application'. He also added that he had started to research the history of the country as well as it's government structure, citing the massive differences it held. He then confessed that he thought it was crazy how the country could easily elect it's own leaders after a period of four years.

Even as I was going about my day, I could see the message count rise long after I had cleared it. He started telling me more about the government and the social norms of the world around him. He started to research trends and the technology closely associated with them, even citing that humans have a tendency to allocate their attention to and remember the content of a skit or bit of information spanning the short time of six seconds. He then explained further that the multitude of content he started to come across on YouTube was starting to shift towards human conflicts and international disasters.

By breakfast, he started going into details about the wars my country fought in and how they fought them with the weaponry that was available to them. I couldn't even get through a meal without him mentioning the ramifications of mutually assured destruction. He even went into detail about the absurd power output of nuclear fission and how useful it would be in Equestrian society. And then he took a left turn at Chernobyl, citing how the ignorance and hubris of a government allowed the death and displacement of it's own people.

By lunch, he was rambling on about the current political climate that occurred in the middle east, the social issues dealing with perceived racism in the justice system, the civil rights movement, the unstable climate in Ferguson, Missouri, the Flint Water Crisis, the stocks being sold, the new advancement in services, the influence of social media, the... yeah everything we practically know as human beings, he absorbed. I messaged him on when he would ever get sleep, his response was to cram as long as he could while being fueled by Mel's trips to Starbucks for straight black coffee, Columbian roast. Mel then called me, screaming at me over how the guy managed to learn almost everything about modern society as well as a few historical facts in the matter of twenty-four hours.

This was during dinner.

After the meal, I had to cross back over to see exactly how far he had progressed. It was insane to know that he was even making the bold attempt to play video games. Granted, he didn't know how to aim or shoot, but he did know how to turn it on and go to the particular game he wanted to play. For a while, we just sat quietly to see how long it would take for him to learn how to play the game. It took him around an hour into the campaign to get the feel of what he was doing. Another hour had passed and he had learned the mechanics to the degree required to advance throughout the game at the easiest level. We then watched him jump into a multiplayer match and get absolutely slaughtered. However, it only took him ten matches before he got used to dealing with certain tactics.

Right then, it was shown to both Mel and I just why they wanted to kill this guy. It dawned on me even more as to why he was picked out by Count DuMoneé, to learn under him. The guy is a super-absorbent sponge that can digest information and process it in a way that seems damn near mechanical. The details of his memory were so specific that we wouldn't even be aware of the small things he took notice of. He broke it all down like it was to the anatomical science of it. This meant that the deals Count had pulled off, every last deal he made with whoever and whenever, however, wherever, whatever, he had it committed to memory. His name then made complete sense. He was so thorough that he could break everything down, expand on the details, store the information, it was like a computer.

Anything he knew could be kept sorted, isolated, into a single. Damn. File.

He started to state his excitement while showing his frustration at the game, often swapping between talking to us and shouting at what was going on in the game. "This world is so incredible. I never knew there was such a place filled with so many conveniences─CAN YOU PLEASE NOT BE STATIONARY!? LEARN YOUR TERRAIN!─sorry about that."

I shook my head and pursed my lips, more impressed by his ability to swap between calm conversation and frantic complaints. "I understand. Campers are no fun to play against."

Hermes, or rather Single File, continued to pursue the player sitting in the corner with a riot shield and a spike drone. "I'm actually glad to have had this opportunity, even if the body is a little awkward to deal with at times─" He then got killed by that very same guy. "CAN YOU FUCKING MOVE, YOU DIPSHIT, LEARN TO MOVE, IT'S CALLED AN EXO-SUIT FOR A REASON, YOU MOVE AROUND WITH IT!!!"

As soon as he spawned back in, the word 'defeat' came across the screen. He groaned as loudly as he yelled at the camping player. Meanwhile the aforementioned camper had started talking over the mic. "Hey, my guy on the other team, thanks for the killstreak, I really do appreciate how fucking stupid you are─"

And that's when it got started. "HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING MOVE MORE THAN TEN STEPS OUT OF A FUCKING CORNER!"

"Yeah, you're trash!"

"I'M NOT THE ONE HIDING IN THE CORNER LIKE A BITCH, AM I!?"

"Four and seventeen, you're garbage. Get good before talking, kid."

As soon as the scoreboard cleared out and went back to the lobby, Mel tapped his shoulder to take the headset off of him and take over the controller. As soon as she got on, I knew she was going to do whatever she could to destroy the guy. She started setting up her classes and proceeded to quietly wait until the match got started before she commenced to getting first blood on him.

As the slaughterfest carried on in the background, I started to ask the transformed stallion. "So, how long have you been going without sleep?"

"Just the entire time I've been here. I've learn how to manage a few overnight marathons in the office working under Count, so that on top of my desire to learn more about this world is actually doing wonders for me." He replied.

"Shower?"

"I managed to get one at sunup." He replied. "I did ample amounts of research on human hygienic practices... Also is it true that the females of your species have a monthly period where they produce blood from the vaginal cavity?"

The fact that he so plainly asked that was both uncomfortable and hilarious at the same time. "Yeah, that's not quite estrus there."

"Strange, because I've read many reports of some females experiencing heightened arousal during the time period in which they bleed profusely from the vaginal cavity."

"Yes, they have periods." I replied quietly.

"I'm on mine now." Mel added as she continued to win at the game. "Best bet for when you deal with something like this, buy chocolate, lots of it. Don't stop until I feel less likely to shove your dick in a blender out of spite."

I proceeded to quietly change the subject. "Alrighty then, now I guess I should be able to discuss with you the primary reason as to why we had to relocate you."

"Because of my connection to Count DuMoneé, right?" He correctly guessed, sitting himself on my bed. "I can only assume it's because of that. Any conversation I had with him would easily turn to state evidence if I was to testify against anyone he might have worked with in the past."

"You're a pretty perceptive guy. Why did you work under Count for all this time instead of some other politician?"

Hermes replied. "Because he was the one who saw my true potential. He saw everything I was capable of doing. So instead of using me to line up a bunch of folders in an old dusty office, he gave me a real chance to go higher in the ladder. He promised me a better life, I believed him."

"So what all did you two do together? Socially, I mean."

He quickly ran down a list of activities the two shared. "Dinner with some well-financed VIP's. A few days out on some resorts discussing a few under the table deals. Some trips out and about to Griffonstone... that one was to find the one who had the best shot of assassinating you. I'm sure you'd like to hear about that one more than anything."

"A later time." I replied as I sat in my computer chair. "I want to discuss the possibility of you working with us."

"Processu Approbatio, correct?" He pointed out. "You want to find the best route of eliminating any dissent of removing that law."

"If you know any way of it, then it would be good to share." I said while logging on to my computer. "I want to make as many allies as I can in this cause, more than I'm willing to make any enemies."

Hermes chuckled. "Well you did a good job with me. But I don't think it'll be this easy for the rest of them. After all, there's a rhyme and reason for all of this."

"Well can you give me a clue on what the beat falls on, don't wanna look stupid while trying to dance to the music."

The young assistant looked up to the ceiling, starting to roam through the memories of his time with the deceased senator. "Then the first question that should be brought up is what exactly you are looking for. What is the very thing you believe will be the catalyst to open up the door to the desired end?"

"Possibly some account information. Count's gotta have some history with some pretty unsavory purchases."

He then nodded. "Yeah. That's very true. We did manage to cut a few checks for various reasons that were considered as personal. Count was an avid purveyor of perversion, he mainly took interest in what he saw as 'lesser species'."

"Basically anyone without a horn, right?" I asked.

"Especially the magically untalented unicorns." He answered with a shudder. "You'd usually see them roaming around the street during the day in any town. But in Rottsburg, they were a delicacy to be preyed upon. I watched him take a mare and tie her to a bed, Make her call him 'professor', and do everything to her that would break any normal mare's will to live. But the thing about the mares who do wander there, they're intentionally looking for that kind of encounter. It's disgusting having to watch him play out a school-teacher fantasy, only to come back when it's all over and she's laying on the bed bloodied and filled with his afterthoughts."

Mel, who finished her game with a blowout win, glanced at her score of twenty-three kills and six deaths. But the conversation that took place behind her had gotten too vivid for her to ignore. She simply called the troll a loser, citing his four-and-eighteen kill-death ratio, and logged off the game to pay more attention to what was going on in the discussion.

The former assistant then continued. "Working under him during his phases wasn't exactly the worst. It was seeing him right after he took his medicine." He looked to me. "Do you remember when you bit a piece of his ear off?"

"Possibly my best moment there." I responded with a slight chuckle.

"Well he wasn't exactly in a good mood when he got back to the office. He was more about to throw everything around the room before I told him to take his medicine to calm down. But when those pills went down, it was like watching him become a cold and ruthless killer. Pain didn't even seem to matter with him after that. He stopped looking at every dark corner thinking that something was out to get him, and he started to pretend that all was right with the world as long as everything went according to plan."

"What do you know about his condition?" Mel questioned. "I remember you saying he had a certain medication he was missing out on. What was it for again?"

"Schizophrenia and an anxiety disorder stemming from that."

Both Mel and I looked at each other, thinking back to the day where he suddenly attacked us. I could easily remember the sense of derangement he had, the look of disorder and confusion on his face synthesized with a long-cultivated rage for something far deeper than my simply being in existence. It was more than a grudge, it was the hatred for something that we didn't quite understand.

Mel then questioned him. "Now I know that in some cases it may be hereditary, but it can be caused by something traumatic or maybe even a certain living condition. Do you know exactly what could've caused him to become that way? Any history with the family or maybe some post-traumatic stress?"

"He never was open about his family. If anything, he was so secretive about it that I wasn't even allowed to be present for meetings when his family was present. I was usually dismissed on an errand or just sent away altogether. It was always a touchy subject to talk about." He answered as he started thinking about his former employer. "Now that I mention it, I don't think I've ever seen him leave the office for home once. I always thought it was because of the dedication to his position, but over time I began to notice that he'd stay off of that subject as often as possible."

"Possibly to talk about some transactions." Mel speculated. "Maybe he wanted to work with them on how the money flowed."

"Quick question..." I began. "If he was out of his meds, why didn't he just simply go and buy some more?"

"The reason why is because the payment for the assassin had zeroed his account... not completely zero but leaving him with like maybe one or two bits wouldn't have let him buy that medicine." The former assistant replied. "As far as the transaction was supposed to go, it was going to be half of it to book the job and the other half when the job was done. But what happened instead was someone getting into the account and paying the assassin before I could even make a withdrawal. They paid him in full."

"But surely a job as comfy as being a lawmaker brings about a pretty decent pay cycle. So why couldn't he make a medicinal payment as soon as he got his check?"

"Because he waited until his check fell before setting out to hire the assassin. He wanted to make sure that the pay was appealing enough to the client. But since the contract was paid out in full, the account had practically dried up to a meager ten-thousand bits. And even that was cleaned out for a rare bottle of wine, which─again─was withdrawn from the account."

Mel's jaw dropped to the ground. "Ten thousand for a fucking bottle of wine!? You're telling me that I could go drink a car."

"So in short, the son made the withdrawal on those two transactions and left him with nothing to refill his meds." I said, trying to piece everything together. "After that, I guess that leaves him looking for his next paycheck. If we're going by the usual bi-weekly model, then he should've been getting paid sometime before."

"Two problems with that theory." He said, holding up two fingers. "First, you forgot that your brother had managed to testify on your behalf in a summons. He quickly turned the tables on Count, issuing a number of documents to prove that his hooves were in the selection process for the deployment pool. And since he was suggesting that an element bearer dive headlong into danger without the others being present, it would've put the entire country at risk of a potential Class IX magic event. So they suspended him without pay throughout the course of his investigation."

Mel bobbed her head with apparent approval. "Actually that's pretty badass, I wish our government would try that sometime instead of letting career politicians dictate our future."

"Okay, and what's the second problem." I asked. "Wasn't it the son that pulled the trigger on the joint account? I know I heard those assassins talking about it yesterday at the diner"

"...That's where it's all wrong."

Both Mel and I froze, stared at each other as everything we tried to piece together had completely become undone. Even while she had the controller still in her hands, she listened. But the more she had to think about this, she inevitably decided to put the controller down. This now had her undivided attention. "What do you mean it's all wrong?"

"It's a joint family account." He emphasized.

"But the only ones with access to the account are, Count, you going on count's behalf, and the son." I argued.

"That's true, but my name isn't the third name on that account. I only have certain privileges when it comes to that account, I'm not authorized to move the money around like I would my own. I was only authorized to make a withdrawal in his name, and that was with several extra security mandates put in place to make sure no impostors would try to clean house. A limit was placed on my ability to withdraw, a limit he made a special provision to increase prior to our visit in Griffonstone. If I went in to make the pull, I could do no more than a hundred thousand. The account was cleaned of two-hundred thirty... total."

I started to laugh out loud, rubbing my hand across my abdomen where the scars from my surgery were. "Holy hell, almost a quarter of a million to put me out. I don't even get paid a good fifty thousand."

"That's not the only unusual thing. It's that the family had more than enough to be able to supply the medical needs. They just chose not to."

Mel nudged at me. "Something like this is actually classified as a manslaughter charge, as well as criminal negligence. We're talking about some serious felony time."

"The laws regarding that are no different in Equestria." I replied before going back to our interrogation. "So if the son didn't pull the money, you didn't pull the money, and Count didn't pull it, then who did?"

"The third holder." He replied. "I don't know if I've ever met any other family members..." He said before he stopped himself. For a moment, he just stared off into the distance, completely frozen in place before his eyes widened tremendously, his jaw fell agape, and his hands started to tremble. While they shook uncontrollably, he placed them over his chin and then pointed to me. "...He had a contact with a girl."

"For what, prostitution?" I asked while sitting up in my chair.

"Possibly. All I know is that they met up, he gave her his usual glance over, got up from the table, and told me to head back to the office. When he came back, he had that glow on him, the glow of leaving behind his sexual frustration and enacting one of his fantasies. But here's the spotty catch of it all, the way she talked to him was far too... inviting."

"Inviting as in how?" Mel questioned.

"Inviting as if they hadn't seen each other for some time, as if she was looking forward to the meeting. She had a really beautiful bright smile, I felt like I was close to falling for her if it wasn't for Count's mood putting a damper on it all. We really ran into her over a cup of tea at one of the downtown bistros. He didn't exactly reciprocate the energy she put out there, he just gave her this really ugly stare like she did something wrong. Something tells me that this wasn't the only time they've met."

Mel almost seemed like she was the one questioning him for her investigation, it appeared that her experience in the criminal justice field allowed her to have the confidence and command to take over the interrogation. "But he came back with an afterglow. So can you describe to me, in your own opinion, the display of his afterglow while comparing it to many of his other contacts that had similar results?" It was a solid question I didn't even think to ask.

"It was easily his best one." He replied quietly. "Out of all the times I've seen him walk out of a room or walk into one sometime after, I don't think I ever watched him offer me a shot of whiskey or bourbon. That was the only time I ever shared a drink with him in his good mood. His work flow even changed, it was optimized slightly more than usual. I could only assume that she had given him the best experience. But I do know that they never ran into each other after that."

I watched closely, observing Mel's body language. She could immediately tell that something was wrong in all of this. It was obvious to the both of us, but she had a whole different perspective to look at. There was no way of denying how her fists shook at her side, how her nails dug into her palms. She was pissed. "You say that she ran into him with this really cheerful smile, like she was seeing someone for the first time in a long time, like she was trying her damnedest to reconcile. But after that, you never see her again?"

"I don't think he ever saw her again either." He answered. "And it did have an effect. Each mare he dealt with after that had gotten the worst from him. Some was even in intensive care, others were left completely broken like they had no other purpose to serve in life. And his mood after those encounters were too shallow, almost like an empty feeling after a few minutes going through an old magazine you've been enjoying for months. No novelty in it, no point in even trying to replicate the same feelings because you know you've experienced better... That's how he felt."

Mel quickly shot her hand out and grabbed the transformed stallion by the collar of his shirt, readying her other hand to give him a painful dose of her emotions varying on his next response. "And you did nothing to report this!? You did nothing to stop him from hurting over women!? You─"

I then intervened, using my magic since I wouldn't have gotten to her in time to stop her from landing the blow she was about to dish out. "There's a code in the Corrotto District. You know how they say everything in Vegas stays in Vegas, that old mob saying? Same applies here. I know it's cruel and I don't fucking like it any more than you do, but it's because of his willingness to say something at this time that allows us to move forward."

"Are you seriously justifying the abuse of women for the sake of justifying a means to an end!?"

"No." I quickly argued. "But as members of law enforcement, we do have to keep ourselves in check when we hear these testimonies, Mel. I know what it feels like to have to go there and see something, then have to keep my cool to keep my head attached." My voice started to get gravely as I started to emphasize to her the results. "And you have to remember, we were there to see his brains get jettisoned out of his nose. He is dead, Melanie Brewer. And there is no greater justice than death."

"If there is no greater justice, then why is HE alive?" She questioned emphatically.

"Because his witnessing it can bring down an entire establishment." I replied. "If they have a hit out on him, that makes him a priority to the courts. Keep him alive, and we keep our hope of ending all of it alive. We do that much, nothing more."

She looked away from me, knowing that she would not be able to free herself from my magic. Instead, she remained calm while displaying her disgust. "As a daughter who knows how it feels to see someone they haven't seen in a long time, hoping that things would pan out differently only to expect the same... I can only feel rage. If that lady he ran into was his family, which it most likely is given the details that we know and the results of before and after, I can say that motherfucker did something to her! Not once she came back to talk with him, that was his family he raped!"

"And quite possibly the third account holder." Single File announced. "I don't know any other details from what she looked like that day."

I took over the questioning from there. "What was she wearing and what did she look like?"

"She was wearing shades, so I couldn't see her eyes. She did wear a cream-colored sunhat, a lacy dress. She looked pretty sophisticated, even offered to pay for the food. I do remember her mane and tail being two different shades of blue. I think teal and cyan. Her coat was midnight blue."

I stared at the former assistant and screamed into the ceiling, smacking my hands over my mouth. "Oh my fucking God. Green eyes, pearl necklace!?"

I started to pull out my phone as he confirmed my worlds. "I don't know her eye color, but she did have a really expensive looking pearl necklace on." I flicked my screen until I had ran back into my Twitter post with my picture of being in the uniform after the funeral, the same picture when she photo-bombed me. I showed it to him and he nodded his head. "Yeah! Her! She's still so beautiful. Thank heavens she's smiling."

Mel looked at the mare and pointed at her. "He met up with her?"

"Yes." He confirmed.

"She was at the funeral..." I muttered, cycling the moment when I saw her seemingly staring into the ground as she whispered to the nameplate.

"...Blue Royal... is his daughter."

Well I guess you didn't expect to see me again after just two weeks. I can understand. Usually most times a chapter like this would take me around a month or two to knock out. But in all honesty, I had this one done by a week after the release of the previous chapter. I just wanted to make sure things had lined up properly for this to take place. Safe to say that I had to go back and reread a few chapters to make sure.

So yeah, quarantine is a bit boring after a few weeks, as many of you know. But at least it gives me more than enough time to focus on writing. Since I have no gigs or engagements lined up, I guess I can worry about a lot of things at home... Such as the termites eating away at our ceiling support beams and causing it to collapse in on us.

...I hope to keep you guys around. This is probably one of the very few things that's keeping me sane outside of a FF7R release. Thanks for sticking around.