The day of my final magic instruction was filled with some pretty intense levitation drills to get me used to casting without having to point at my body and mentally prep myself on where my magic's being channeled to and how. The most important thing I had to do was practice reflex casting, just like anyone would work on their reflexes to be able to defend themselves. It wasn't like a boxer before a main-event situation, just learning to halt certain things and be able to control the things I summon to myself. And to my advantage, we started off with those squishy stress balls Mel brought from a local health store.

If we would've started with books, I would've knocked myself into a coma.

I was given a rack of balls of two different colors, five of which to be thrown at me by someone else. Five others were for me to levitate on my own. The ones I had to call up were blue, the ones thrown at me were green. And for four hours straight, I was essentially playing dodgeball with the pronounced exception that I was instructed not to move. And whichever ones hit me represented something dangerous thrown my way. So if I got hit, I was considered dead.

And they didn't spare me any mercy, pelting me with every opportunity I had. Twilight wasn't intending to show me any kind of leniency, opting to drill me as hard as her brother did in basic training. I originally thought that I could somehow formulate a field that could catch every ball that came my way, but that was as effective as my wanting to teleport from here to the local bakery. So I had a lot of balls thrown at my face because of my own arrogance.

I had magic, but I didn't have it that good.

So for the first two hours, there was a lot of me hitting myself in the face and on the side of my head trying to catch these balls that came my way. The next hour was me learning only how to defend myself from the onslaught of balls hitting me in the face. And the final hour was a culmination of both of those things plus trying to maintain a consistent focus. And even though that last hour was hell on earth, I started to form a pattern after being battered by balls for so long.

It wasn't perfect for the time being, but progress was being made before the lunch hour. Unfortunately for me, my lunch was heavily surveyed under royal instruction. So I was made to eat a dry cucumber sandwich with no condiments with a side of unsalted nuts. All courtesy of the gourmet head chef of Canterlot Castle. Instead of eating all of it, I just picked at it and sent Mel a friendly text to grab me a southwest salad from the nearby Chipoltle. When my food got here, I had another magic flash due to an overload of my taste buds. It wasn't as bad as the initial one, but it was enough to knock my cup of tea off the table.

That was a mess I was sentenced to clean up.

Bypassing the royal supplements, I was thrown back into training. But instead of going back to where I had left off, I was thrusted into a make-shift masterclass of what all I've learned in the past few days. I was given a set of instructions, levitate and balance the books around me, stop any damage from coming my way, and also levitate objects to myself at full velocity while enduring a bunch of screaming and other things proving to be a huge distraction.

That was the fucking worst masterclass I've ever taken. I swear on all creation that was the hardest thing to pull off. She said it would teach me how to be versatile at everyday tasks and prove competence in my multitasking. She also made the guarantee that if I were to make this a morning regiment aside from running my usual miles, I could get to the point where levitation would be as easy as breathing in and out. Five hours after starting the second half of my regiment, my cycles began to stabilize a lot more and I discovered yet another interesting surprise.

White would end up being my magic's color.

White warm flames would flicker on and off of my hand and whatever object I held would still engulfed by an invisible aura. But I did manage to be able to struggle very little while moving an assortment of light objects. Heavier things like ponies were a definite no, but my claymore was a solid yes. The only catch was swinging it safely because my control over magic wasn't as precise as I would need it to be in order to wield one in that style safely. For the time being, it was better to stick to my hands in combat.

My magic regiment was completed for the day and also for the week. At last, I was given the green-light to return back to Canterlot. And when I had arrived, the movers had already brought in a new mattress to sit on top of my new bed. The walls were dry enough to touch and the floors were clean enough to eat off of.

After a long but pretty eventful day, I laid my head to sleep as I formulated the plan I had set out to execute tomorrow.

The Next Day...

I woke up this morning with a drive and passion for the sense of adventure I'd only get to experience on any other day of the week besides today. If this were some seventies flick, it would be the metaphorical raiding the sorority house down the block for some girl's panties. Thankfully, my reason for raiding has an ulterior motive that could be beneficial to both the raider and the raided. Though I understand that this is violating her privacy and I don't really have a way to apologize for it, I can only focus on the ends to justify my means.

And those means required me to do some dirty work.

So I quickly got up and worked my way to the kitchen, eating my increasingly taste-deprived breakfast and making my way towards the barracks. Shining was already there in the hallway, looking at several guards who appeared to be out-of-order when it came to their uniform. There were a few who quickly adjusted themselves before approaching, but there were also others who didn't really pay it no mind. They were the ones who got stopped and inspected for a moment before entering the barracks.

And then there was this one guy who endearingly came from a late night out on the town. I say the word endearingly with a sarcastic tone, as his uniform was so out of sorts that he gathered the attention of every guard walking down the hall. And as much as I pitied the hangover he was probably suffering through, I was more into licking my chops for a good screaming session to come along.

Going back to my time in basic training, I could clearly remember being absolutely destroyed by every drill instructor in a thirty yard radius. It was during my first week of training, and it was after I put in a request to change companies. I wanted Charlie Company, hoping to have Rainbow Dash as a drill instructor. Instead of getting my wish fulfilled, I learned the hard way that trying to pick and choose in BT was mocked and frowned upon. Simply put, Shining and six other drill instructors rammed my ears with verbal insults and a cacophony of orders I could not coherently follow. It was like a squadron of demons was given the directive to blow my eardrums into submission while I was doomed to play a game of Simon-Says with no correct answers.

And as vividly my memories were of that moment, I can only imagine the thoughts running through this guard's brain as he gets bombarded by at least five of his superiors, including Shining and myself. His muscles tensed, his eyes bucked wide open, and the only thing he was able to do was repeatedly scream the words 'Yes sir!' ad nauseam. As we were all taking our turn to destroy his ear drums, Shining gave me a tap while he passed right behind me, finding himself a new place to scream from. From the corner of his eye, he directed me to a pillar in the back of the hall. I got through yelling at him for a second and walked away.

I stayed hidden behind a pillar until Shining came walking back to greet me again. More sergeants took over from where the two of us left off and we were left with that little distraction while we quickly ran by our plan. Shining had pulled out his phone and started listing off some of the details.

"Okay, quick review. Blueblood's got our special little actor en route to the princess' bedroom. All he's gotta do is play his part and get out. I'm sure Blue's taking him through the secret passageways. So he should be moving through pretty easily without getting detected until the time is right." He said, looking at the time on his phone.

"From there, we put the castle on lockdown while I inspect the rooms. Shining, you'll keep the princess held up for as long as you can." I added.

"She's usually pretty quick to verify her identity, so I can only give you a total of two minutes from the time she's warned and the time she shows up at her own door."

"Right, meanwhile I'll be sending you the pictures of the scrolls I find. Anything that looks like a magic spell of some sort I can sort through, and when I find the right one, I'll cue you in on it and cancel the search saying that there was no one here. Anypony who made the initial call will be pulled aside for an interview to make it appear that the false alarm is being addressed, and we can continue on from there."

"Sounds solid." Shining said with a nod.

As the matters started to dissipate further down the hall, our window of distraction had come to a close. The two of us split off, going our separate ways. I looked at my phone and went to barracks for my assigned position for the day. From there, I waited until the first sign of trouble.

Unfortunately, standing guard in the middle of a hallway wasn't as awesome as the military promos make them out to be.

A few hours passed before the assigned time where the alert was to take place. Even the captain of the guard wasn't immune to being subject to standing post in a hallway growing bored out of their mind. But then again, my boredom didn't completely come from being uninterested in the mundane scenery of ponies walking by. I had a task to pull off, and that task was to lock these halls down so I could pay a visit to the safe hidden in Celestia's room.

I was already counting down the seconds till the final moment where I was supposed to have someone run up to me urgently with notification that a changeling had been spotted. And with each second I counted off in my head, I grew even more antsy.

I had to be quick and precise. I can only hope my memory doesn't fail me on where I saw that safe. She even explicitly told me where she had that damn thing, so I couldn't afford to be stumbling around. And lord knows what would happen if I were caught in the act by Celestia herself. Not really a consequence I'm looking forward to.

It's go time.

I looked around my surroundings to see which direction a guard would be coming from or at least expecting an alarm. I was more than ready to move. But the only thing I could come to expect for now was the usual hallway chatter among the servants and maids.

Impatient wasn't even describing what I felt while I was sitting here in this one spot like a damn statue in the state capital building. I pulled out my phone and checked the time, seeing that the minute had passed completely.

"Negative one minute, thirty. Negative one minute, thirty-one."

And the frustration completely started to mount as time passed. One minute went to two, two to five, five to ten. I had began to lose all hope that things would go underway. And I felt genuine disappointment until...

"CHANGELING SPOTTED! WE HAVE A CHANGELING ON CASTLE GROUNDS!"

Eleven minutes, forty-one seconds late, but I'll take what we can get. I sprung into action, issuing orders to the guards around the halls. "FIND THAT CHANGELING, I DON'T CARE IF IT'S THE LAST THING YOU DO BEFORE YOUR LUNCH BREAK OR ON IT! LOCK THIS CASTLE DOWN, SECURE THE PRINCESSES. GATHER ALL STAFF INTO ROOMS AND HAVE THEM INSPECTED! NO ONE LEAVES THESE GROUNDS UNTIL I KNOW FOR CERTAIN EVERY ROOM, NOOK, AND CRANNY HAS BEEN CHECKED!"

Almost with a mechanical response, all the guards saluted and dispersed into gathering every maid, servant, politician, tourist, appointed visitor, and even royal into rooms where we could verify their identity. It took all but fifteen minutes to clear the halls of the entire castle grounds, leaving only armor-plated guards keeping a close eye on every window and door leading to the outside. Every pegasi guard flew outside and surrounded the perimeter, ensuring that there were no escapees, especially considering the events of recent times.

And it was because of those recent events, I was working with the advantage of having every single guard taking their role seriously. Of course I had to verify my own identity, but it didn't take me long at all to do just that, as no random intruder impersonating me would have access to the secret passageways like I would.

As per my role in the security check, I would go by each room and check with the guards within them, ensuring that the changeling was either apprehended or the room was clear. And for the rooms that had no one in them, I issued guards to inspect them with a quick search procedure, involving a specially-trained unicorn to scan the room for unusual magic fields commonly found in magical or enchanted disguises.

I quickly bypassed most of my strife by assigning the other guards all the rooms of lower importance. Meanwhile, I was given the exclusive task of inspecting the princesses' quarters. But the only caveat was that I was allowed only two minutes within the room, as to appease many laws regarding espionage against the higher command. There's also a privacy law in place that was implemented by Princess Celestia a decade back to prevent some perverted guards getting a little too invested in her wares, opting to find items of her former use and using it as an aid to what was to be called 'lecherous and immoral practices of a most private affair'.

It also explains why ALL of her laundry staff happens to be elderly mares.

By the time I got to her room, I gave a nod to two of the other guards accompanying me. They were there to make sure I didn't violate my time inside and move to the next room without carrying any contraband.

The entire setup was almost like a breaching method, I get the nod and I move in. Celestia's door is sat on a slight tilt, allowing it to close itself. One of the guards, instead of allowing it to close completely, they hold the door open with a hoof. But either of the two were strictly forbidden from viewing the room─again, the privacy law in effect─while the individual entrusted with her personal security was allowed to inspect the area.

Admittedly, the restraints are quite extensive to the process of security, but I understood her reasoning.

I quickly beamed in on the bookshelf sitting in front of her bed. For a few seconds, I had to quickly ponder the events of when I was shown that safe. The first thing that came to mind was her unleashing a misty hell upon me sneezing like she did with that cold. Then a painful jolt running up my arm when she enchanted my finger. Then it was her pointing out a book on the shelf. I skimmed through the books, pulling at whichever ones seemed the most familiar to me. The first place I remembered was that I looked in the section of M's. Something with mixes.

Then I suddenly remembered upon looking at it. A book titled 'Mega-Mixtures and Plentiful Potions' that stood a bit further into the shelf. I pulled on it and promptly received my secret reward. I ran over to the small square safe and removed the pendant from off of my neck, putting it at the tip of my finger before placing it inside. The mechanisms clicked quietly and
the safe was opened. I craned my head down to get a good look inside...

...nothing.

I felt my heart drop as I felt my opportunity quickly ticking away. I turned back around to see if what I was looking for was hidden somewhere else in the room, but only to be greeted by a pair of aquamarine eyes staring back at me. I couldn't help but feel my heart rate skyrocket. Meanwhile, Luna was tapping her hoof against the floor with a most unenthusiastic expression.

I had been caught red-handed.

"And what little thing did you think you were going to find in there?" She asked quietly.

"I'm on a search for changelings." I replied, trying to keep to my lie.

Luna shrugged her shoulders, almost carelessly as she looked to walk to the balcony. "Well then. I suppose you won't be needing this then." She said, summoning a scroll by her side."

"Hey what is that?" I asked very quietly, trying not to alert the other guards outside of the room.

She gave me a smirk and turned her back on me. "Well it sure isn't a changeling. So I suggest you get to wrapping up your search, captain. You have forty seconds."

I tried to quickly approach her, but she turned around, swiping the scroll out of my reach. "What's on the scroll?"

"Nothing that would help you. Unless you were looking to use it for some odd reason. Perhaps for something quite nefarious. You're not quite as stealthy as the changeling that was in here earlier."

...Oh shit. "What happened with the changeling?"

"I exterminated him. Though I'm sure you will do better to be more thorough with your bombastic displays the next time you decide to put on a show for the viewing audience." She glanced back over to the ledge, now dangling the scroll over the railing to the city streets below. "So for now, I suppose this scroll can join the changeling down below."

Dammit. I could've used that changeling. Fuck. Twenty seconds left. "Give me the scroll." I kindly requested through clenched teeth, trying to smile. "Please?"

"Contraband, remember?" She answered smugly before slowly walking up to me, circling me with a Cheshire grin. "Though I'm sure you can find it in your world later this evening at around 7."

"Where?" I asked, pressed for time. Ten seconds left.

"Where we once shared breakfast." She said with a suppressed giggle. "Though you should move to inspect my quarters for more information."

"Why?" I asked, not even paying attention.

I could hear the door swing a bit wider as a voice called out to me. "Captain! Time's up!"

"Clear!" I was forced to yell, staring at the night princess. She cheerfully motioned her hooves to her room with a boastful smirk before teleporting away. I couldn't help but grumble as I walked out of the room empty-handed. As soon as I walked out, the door was closed behind me and we started to set up for the next room. Before I could get a nod to go in, the door opened and Princess Luna called to me.

"Captain, there's no changeling in here. But you may check if I am truly myself inside of here. Enter."

As per usual, I was given my two minutes to inspect. She waited quietly while I started to look around the room for the scroll. I started to look on her shelf, only to find it barren. Then I looked at her nightstand, only to find a picture of her gathered around a bunch of foals in what appeared to be Halloween costumes. The princess remained quiet until started to look under her bed.

"What you are looking for is not in here."

Out of frustration, I paid the princess no mind before I noticed something round and cylindrical. Hoping that it was just the thing I was looking for, I reached out and pulled it into the open, only to gawk at what I was holding. I was holding what appeared to be a blue vibrator... a HUMAN-shaped phallus with rotating beads at the center of the shaft, complete with a dolphin-shaped clitoral stimulant. "...Lucy?" I mouthed to myself, thinking of Mel's sex toy in her apartment.

The princess giggled as she levitated the item away from my possession. "I am sure you would be willing to understand that mares have specific needs that require intense attention to detail."

"Where's the scroll?" I asked.

"One minute into your check and you've only found the key to my morning ritual." Instinctively, I had started wiping my hand against my shirt. She giggled while she waved the dildo in my face like a magic wand. "Now tell me why a newly-anointed magic user is inquiring about a transformation spell beyond his casting capabilities."

Ain't no questioning it's the real Luna, I could tell that from the jump. Fifty seconds. "Well let's just say that I had a growing curiosity of being a pony."

"And who is going to supervise you and your proactive approach to casting a spell you are clearly not ready to utilize on your own self, or have any awareness to the side-effects of said spell?"

Thirty-five seconds. "Twilight." I lied.

"And exactly why would you need that spell in Ponyville?" She asked.

"Because I didn't want Twilight trying to transform me without having a proper equation in place."

"And who told you of the spell?"

"Alex. Alex said he was a pony, so I wanted to try my hand at it."

Luna smirked as her horn flared with magic. "I see. So what if I was to tell you that I already know the spell, and that I could cast it on you this instant? But you would have to take the place of this little device here, and I would report you as the changeling. So when I go to interrogate you, I'd have my way with you... trapped in my dungeon... closed off from all others... my little... toy..." The night princess whispered with a smirk before yanking me down and quietly mouthing in my ear each and every syllable. "Just. Kidding."

The princess backed off of me completely as she left me absolutely flustered, once again inattentive to my time limit.

"Captain, time's up."

The princess waved her 'magic wand' almost innocently while she walked over to the shared bathroom she and her sister owned before looking back to me with another winning smirk. "Now if you excuse me, I do have to freshen up. Have a good day captain, we shall speak later."

I walked out of the room, the guards beside me stared for a moment and carried on with their search.

...Meanwhile, Luna entered into the bathroom and placed the toy on the counter before eyeing the massive swimming-pool sized bathtub. She illuminated her horn, using her magic to lift an object submerged under the surface. A changeling soaked in royal perfumes and scents was left coughing and gagging for much-needed air before being flung to the ground. The changeling weakly writhed while Luna's hoof narrowly missed his head. She sternly questioned the creature.

"Now back to where we were. How did you find access to my sister's room?"

Later in the Back Castle Checkpoint...

"Dammit!"

Shining cringed as Blueblood's voice announced himself far more than they would've liked. The blond prince then corrected his volume and paced back and forth. The younger prince folded his hooves as he questioned me. "So you couldn't get the spell because Luna had it?"

"Yup." I answered in a monotoned show of frustration.

"And the only way you can get it is by going to your world with her and negotiating for it?" Blueblood then asked.

"That is the bullshittery I face." I replied, checking if the views around the alleyway we stood in were clear of views. "She wants me to go to my world and talk with her to get the scroll."

Shining groaned quietly while he spoke. "And we can't move forward with your training if you can't transform."

"The thing is that she was trying to play like she was going to transform me then and there, only to have me reported as the changeling so she could have me to herself during interrogations."

Blueblood shook his head. "I've clearly mistaken the trouble-making princess here. I suppose you have little choice but to entertain her."

"So long as you don't cross the bold red line." Shining added bluntly. "Otherwise, Celestia might actually have you outright beheaded."

"No thanks." I said quickly, waving my arms across one another. "Heard stories of forbidden experiments that pretty much confirm a head will live up to thirty seconds after the blow is made. That's a moment of existence I don't want to have."

"It won't be a choice if Luna has her way." Shining muttered. "This is rough."

I was left scratching my head, trying not to grow anxious. "Damn, I didn't think I'd have a tutorial course that would actually give me a permanent 'Game Over' if I did it wrong. What is this, Dark Souls?"

Shining took a deep breath and sighed. "I said this is what happens when you're dealing with this kind of shit, and it will go this far sometimes. Now's a good time to learn, because if you can't do this, you can't go a day in Canterrot."

"As much as I don't like the situation for it being so high-stakes, I'm going to have to confer with Shining." Blueblood confessed walking up to the wall of the battlements surrounding the castle grounds. "You're literally playing the worst game of poker, and everything is for keeps. Play it safe and you lose the scroll, play it wrong and you lose your head, play it right and you're practically the owner of the biggest balls in all of Equestria. You have a chance to prove your mettle. I suggest you take advantage of the situation and come out as a victor, because if you master this... then there's nothing more I could possibly advise in terms of negotiations."

I walked back to the wall with a quiet nod. "I'll keep that in mind."

Blueblood closed his eyes as his horn started to glow. "I am the mare who arranges the blocks." Upon the small incantation, the bricks of the wall started to rearrange themselves to make way for a portal to the hidden chambers beneath the mountain. The prince looked back to me and whispered. "You will do well to remember those words, you'll need them to enter after you've obtained the scroll."

Blueblood walked inside while Shining started to trail behind him. "Since you don't have magic, I think that pendant should work as a good alternative. Best of luck to you."

The younger prince disappeared into the wall and the bricks realigned themselves. I was left with only my thoughts on how I was going to find a way to win at this negotiation. But I still had time to prepare myself for anything that could happen on my end.

I just hoped that Celestia's clairvoyance wasn't omnidimensional.

After a few more hours and an unsatisfying dinner, I made my way through the portal into Mel's apartment. I walked right past her as she was busy having a fit over getting shot by someone crouching in a corner with a machine gun. She had on headphones so she couldn't even hear me over the sound of her own voice chewing out her team over game chat.

"GUYS, HE'S IN A FUCKING CORNER TWIDDLING WITH HIS DICK, RUBBING OUT HIS CLIT! FUCK YOU! MOOOOVE! MORE THAN TEN FEET! YOU FFFFFUUUCKING PRIIICK!!! CAN ANYONE USE A FUCKING ROCKET LAUNCHER AND SHOVE THEIR GODDAMN KNIFE UP HIS RECTUM! OH DON'T MIND ME, I'M JUST FUCKING RESPAWNING!"

She's having fun, it's better not to disturb her.

I walked out of her room and moseyed over to the kitchen table, expecting to see Luna sitting there with the scroll sitting next to her. But I only got a small sticky note from Mel telling me that Luna had gone to my apartment instead. I was completely flabbergasted on how she could manage to walk around my world without a care in the world to her own appearance. But then I remembered that she and Celestia had access to a transformation spell that could turn them human. And then my mind immediately ran back to the first thought of how she could walk around my world without a care in the world to her own appearance. Mel's clothes didn't fit Celestia worth a damn because of how well-endowed she was. Hell, her clothes couldn't even fit Twilight because she was a lot curvier than Mel.

God help me if I find her in my apartment wearing only a fucking towel.

I took a quick jog across the lot and reached my own apartment. I opened the door and there she was, in pony form, sitting on my couch, eating out of a red snack bowl some popcorn. I also smelled a lot of burnt popcorn coming from the kitchen. She seemed completely disinterested in my presence as she lounged out on the couch, holding the remote like she practically lived there but haven't paid rent for like two months, leaving me to pay each time. The funny thing is that I almost felt like telling her to go get a job.

She glanced up to see me standing there and she went back to her regularly scheduled programming. "Hey." She said completely bored.

I walked into the kitchen and noticed that all but two bags of popcorn remained in what was once an unopened box of twelve. I looked back at the princess. "How long have you been here?"

Luna lazily replied. "I was here for two hours. And apparently, your viewing apparatus is not nearly as lively as that of Melanie's. I only get black and white dots dancing on the screen."

I looked inside the trash can and saw a ton of burnt bags of popcorn completely stinking up the apartment. I looked around and felt somewhat amazed that there was no smoke. "How do you burn this much popcorn!?"

The princess said with a light chuckle. "Well I thought that all I had to do was press one button to tell me how much of it I wanted. But then I ended up finding out that a bunch of settings were too high, some were too low, some were not what I needed to press. It took me my tenth try to find that the button I needed to press was simply called 'popcorn'. So I did that, and I turned on the viewing apparatus, and I've been like this for twelve minutes."

I rolled my eyes as I tied the garbage bag shut. I promptly walked over to the TV and turned on the cable box, and almost instantly, I saw Luna go from being completely drained of interest to being a giddy child as the picture came clear. It was on a movie called The Avengers. It was on a scene where the Hulk was chasing a woman through an airship before getting knocked through a ventilation shaft.

"The human world is such a magnificent place, to be entertained at a moments notice, to be fed by the touch of a button, to see an entire world's knowledge in the frog of your hoof. Equestria has much to learn from you."

Seeing her face of wonder while a fight scene took place between the green monster and a human wielding an enchanted hammer didn't distract me too much from what all I was wanting to ask her. "How did you get into my apartment?"

"The door was unlocked." She answered quickly, trying to keep herself invested in the movie. "Surely you were aware that your unit is so easily accessible to others."

"Did you transform yourself to walk from Mel's house to get here?"

"Didn't need to. Stealth spell." She replied, starting to really get invested in the action taking place on the screen.

I grimaced at the possibility of her just wandering around the parking lot while using that spell, only for her to get hit by a car. "Don't you know walking around here is dangerous if you don't know what to look out for?"

"I'm not hurt right now, so it shouldn't matter." Luna replied, shoving more popcorn into her mouth.

I walked in front of her, blocking her view of the TV. She tried to look around me while I continued to chide her. "Luna, this is not a game. If something were to happen to you while you were here, there could be dire consequences that could lead to a lot of trouble for Equestria."

"Shouldn't it be the other way around seeing how I am the one that is harmed?" She questioned, trying to use her magic to levitate the TV from around me to where she could see the screen unobstructed.

I turned around and cut off the screen. "I'm not playing with you─"

"Then why are you even here?" The princess pouted, she then placed the bowl of popcorn on the table, got off of the couch and began to walk away.

"Because you told me to meet you here." I replied strongly, trying to impede her path back outside. "That still doesn't excuse the fact that what you're doing is very dangerous. As captain of the guard, I can't allow you to keep acting out like that."

She rolled her eyes. "Is my title all that matters to you?"

"In regards to your safety and the peace of our two words, who have yet to meet or negotiate in any official capacity, yes." I answered honestly, trying to emphasize the importance of my argument.

The high princess then grew angry. "Well if it is as dangerous as you make it, then I suppose I should be on my way. Now escort me back to the portal so that I may return to our world."

Realizing I essentially had the princess in my apartment, unable to leave without my say, I started to exercise the power I held in this negotiation. "Okay, but under one condition."

"No scroll." She answered sharply. "And you may think that you have the advantage of my being in your world, but that doesn't make it any less of a loss for you. I can still make my way through you and back to the portal. From there, I will return to my chambers while you remain empty-handed."

Nope, I guess I wasn't gonna win that argument either. "Okay. Fine. You win. What do you want for the scroll?"

"Why do you want it so much?" Luna questioned. "Surely there is no modest intention in your attempt to alter your visage."

I didn't want to tell her the real reason why, I felt it would jeopardize the plan Blueblood, Shining, and I had thrown together. So I tried to fabricate a lie. "I told you, Twilight wanted to see how my magic would perform if I were in an equine state. Nothing more. She didn't have the spell to do that, so I thought that I would be able to get it for her."

"And you thought you would simply obtain it through the nefarious method of invading my sister's room to crack her safe and retrieve the scroll instead of asking Celestia directly for something of that nature, knowing she would consent to it openly? If anything, Twilight would've inquired about that spell and requested the scroll on her own. And then there's the matter of Spike being able to send and receive that information as quickly as you would provide any information to your brothers."

Just about every avenue my lie could've taken, she had covered every single base. So instead of being able to piece together a narrative, I was left in a mess of a lie that ousted me faster than a moth to flame. "Your highness─"

"And the changeling in her room, triggering a castle security shutdown protocol so conveniently that you could obtain the chance to enter my sister's room. It's too easy to tie this stuff together. You can't beat somepony who's already masterminded the takeover of an entire realm twice."

She was far too good a mind to fool, that I found out the hard way. The only thing I could do was sell the lie I buried myself in for the sake of consistency. "Look, Twilight doesn't know─"

"That you had a changeling on release to roam the royal quarters?" She concluded flawlessly. "That's too thorough for the likes of you. You are a great tactician with your human weaponry, but not the mind who could plot something so desperate. And even then, it wasn't even you who gave the clearance to release the changeling. The clearance was done under a royal seal."

At that point, my entire body froze in place.

"In other words... You have been working with Blueblood on something, haven't you?"

Busted. "...Where's the scroll?"

Realizing her victory, she walked up to me and stood before me out of defiance. "Why should I give him the scroll? You tell me the reason why, and I will consider it."

Sighing in defeat, I walked away from the door and sat on the couch. I could only stare at the bowl of popcorn on the table sitting in front of me. "I wanted to do some things that would help make it easier to remove Processu Approbatio. I can't do it as a human, I'm too easy to identify. If I were a pony, things would go differently."

"And you would think that Blueblood would know how to properly cast the spell where there would be no side-effects?" She asked.

"Someone could've, he knows someone capable of doing it."

"Shining Armor." She guessed correctly.

I didn't say anything else, knowing that our plan was now out in the open.

The princess walked up to the couch and sat beside me. A smile showed on her face, not one of her usual smugness or playfulness. She looked at the bowl on the table. "It's admirable that you'd go out of your way to help us still, even as Twilight freed you from any connection to us royals."

"Trust me, I've tried to play that hand for so long." I muttered. "It's as if my trying to feud with Cadance in the public eye is eating away at my personal relationship with Twilight. And though she doesn't completely understand it, I have to make sure that Cadance doesn't know what we're doing either."

"And why is that?" She inquired.

"Because if we were to get caught, it could mean the end of our careers. Possibly the end of our lives."

The Princess of the Night sat quietly for a moment before speaking again. "Why did it not show that you would be this way sooner?"

"Why what now?" I asked, slightly confused.

Luna scoffed as she basically knocked over the bowl of popcorn out of frustration. "Why are you the way you are? You couldn't have broadcast your nobility sometime sooner? Surely these things would've made it simpler for me to process. But instead, you end up being the castaway of some other."

Although I was upset at the mess made in my apartment, I felt like it was more of a minor inconvenience in comparison to what I was dealing with for all this time. "Maybe it was my time getting in trouble, that's when I started to realize that I had to do something about this. Cadance told me about the situation, and I felt like I had to help because I owed it to Twilight."

A scowl formed on the princess' face before she turned back to me. "You want the scroll, correct?"

"Please, Luna." I begged. "I can't move forward without this."

The princess closed her eyes and groaned. "...Fine." My eyes bucked wide open as I heard her say that one word, but it didn't come without a cost. "But under one special condition."

I knew it was too good to be true. After all, she had a reason for bringing me here other than to tell me that she knew what was going on. "Okay. You want me to take you out tonight?"

She looked at me, almost shocked before denying my guess. "As nice as that would be, my request is a little more complex than that."

"Okay. Then what would you like for me to do?"

For a moment, the room had gotten completely quiet. The only thing I could hear was the sound of the air system kicking on, filling my apartment with some warmth to oppose the chilly December air. The princess never looked at me as she started to struggle with her words. Barely able to formulate speech, she started to walk to my side. She leaned in on my ear and she seemingly hissed something at me.

"I want.... you to... ──s me."

I looked back at her, seeing her face grow redder and redder with each passing second. As I stared, she became more and more flustered, non-verbally demanding that I'd say something. Which I did, and that response was... "Huh?"

"Please spare me from having to repeat myself." She pleaded before realizing the blank expression on my face was more than enough evidence that I didn't hear what she said. So she leaned back into my ear and whispered. "I want you to... you know... End of the story, 'and they lived happily ever after'. That... thing."

"...I don't even know you that well to marry you." I replied, troubling the princess enough to where she just blatantly said it out loud.

"Oh for mother's sake. KISS ME."

I gave a slow nod. "Ohhh......." Before pulling a double take. "Wai-what?"

Luna screamed as her cheeks almost turned crimson, the tips of her ears following suit. She started to explain herself. "Okay, maybe I should start from the beginning. The reason I wanted a kiss is because I know we can't date, I know you have feelings for somepony else, and I know that the more that I hear about your romance with somepony else, I'm going to get really envious. And trust me when I say that sometimes my envy can feed my mood throughout the course of a day."

I stopped for a moment to think on myself, seeing how familiar her scenario felt to me. "Luna, being in a relationship isn't all the hype. Take it from me, I was a hopeless romantic who was trying to get my first girlfriend for several years. Once you get in one, you start dealing with a bunch of issues─"

She then interrupted me to explain herself further. "Have you ever had to deal with your brothers telling you about their romance life throughout the years? Have you ever felt resentment that they were getting all the attention because they were who they were?"

"Several years!" I exclaimed. "I had to deal with hearing all the rumors going around about Alex! He always seemed to have those relationships that looked so successful, typical storybook romances. And then there's Stanton, who gets the benefit of being an athlete on the school football team! If the cheerleaders aren't interested in him, then I bet it's the really popular chick or some really hot girl in the woodwind section of the band, or the color guard, or the flute section, or the percussion pit... or even some other girl who go to the rival school that met him through Twitter and Instagram. And me, I'm stuck trying to get Mel to see me as more than a friend!"

"You and her!? Seriously!?" The princess asked, genuinely surprised that we had some tense history together.

"Yeah, and try being the guy she goes to for advice on what to do every time she has a bad break or a shitty boyfriend. Stuck in friendzone, left on the top shelf like I'm supposed to stay there my entire life because you depend on me to be an emotional fallback. All of that, I know how it feels to be the one who doesn't get any, dying of thirst while everyone around me is drowning in the ocean."

Luna appeared excited until she started to realize that I was no longer in that situation. She became frustrated again. "But you're not like that anymore. You have... You had your chance, you even kissed in front of the camera!"

"Like I said, relationships aren't even all that special when you jump into them."

"But I bet your first kiss is!" She replied appearing surly.

I glanced back to her and asked. "Why is your focus so damn heavily on kissi─" I wanted to finish that question until I saw her face completely red, her eyes trailing to anything but me. It took a while for the math to add up, her gestures to suddenly register in my brain before I had mentally come to the final conclusion. "...Oh... OH... Seriously?"

The princess turned away, clenching her eyes shut as she spoke. "Do you know how embarrassing it is to know you're well over a thousand years old, COMPLETELY KISSLESS!?" Luna cried out in embarrassment. "I could never tell anypony that! I would die of shame! I would be ridiculed! I could never amount to Celestia, and she'd be the one with all the clandestine romances that I'd only dream of while reading books! I tried to act the part, I tried to research everything there is on kissing and what comes after, but I could never really practice it because I was always seen as the princess of darkness, or Nightmare Moon, Princess Celestia's sister, or even worse..."

"A royal." Just all the same grievances Twilight had as soon as she got labeled as Celestia's personal student.

The princess walked over to the window, staring out into my world for the first time. As I walked next to her, I could see the cars passing by on the road leading to the nearby intersection. She sighed before sitting herself to stare at the reflection of herself in the glass. "I'd hear so much about Celestia's exploits, or what few she had. I'd hear of Cadance's for most of my time returning from being trapped on the moon for a thousand years. And then I hear about Twilight's almost every time I wake up in the morning to read a newspaper. But not once have I ever had the chance to look at my own self and say what I have to remember, or who even remembers me in such a manner."

I gently placed my hand on her back, lightly brushing the back of her wings. "Don't you think you're putting too much pressure on yourself? It'll come one day."

"But I'm tired of waiting, tired of hearing about everyone else's romance. So I thought if I had my first kiss, maybe I'd stop thinking about it so much."

I knelt down beside her, trying to get her to look at me. She refused to do so, even as I talked to her. "Luna, you are very pretty and fun to be around. You're also pretty chill when you want to be. You might not get to experience the daily mundane struggles of serfdom, but someone will give you that chance if you just wait on it."

Luna's tone hardened a bit, almost lashing back out at me. "Nondis, I brought you here for one reason, and that reason alone was for me to know what it's like to finally have something. It's not something I'm trying to keep for myself, I just want to be able to say that I've had the privilege of knowing what it feels like. I just felt like between Twilight and my sister, you've been easy to... well... bond."

"And you think we're going to have that bond over something like a kiss?"

"It'll be my first!" She said, finally looking to me. "It won't be anything but a bond formed of it."

"Luna, I can't do this with you─"

"In Equestria, you can't!" She interrupted once more. "But here, in a world without those laws, a world of infinite possibilities, you can. That's why I chose to be here, because I'm free here. I'm free from my sister's name, free from the law, free from the judging eyes, and free from myself. And you still want to help in spite of everything you've gone through, how do I not reward that?"

"Not that I don't appreciate your offering..." Already, I could feel where this was headed. I had to prepare myself mentally for what was going to be something special for her. But in the same breath, I also weighted the possibility of this leading into a future development that would make things more difficult. And even if I had a mission to complete, I still had to make sure that things were going to be okay for her... for the both of us. "Luna... If I do this, I cannot promise you nor will I promise you that something will develop between us. The bond we share for this moment will only be for this moment, I can't give you any longer than that. Are you sure you're okay with this?"

Looking at the princess, I could see her heartbeat throbbing in her neck. As she stared at me, she started to tear up. "I'm fine... I know I'll probably fantasize about it later, but the parameters are acceptable. It'll just be a bittersweet memory, but one I can hold on to."

That was the only word that rang through my mind for the time being. It was against my desire to add to the long list of drama I had, especially with Luna. But even in consideration of that, I had to find the strength to push through and commit to the situation. Even if I was uncomfortable for a moment, I had to set it aside. This was nothing more than a test, a way to break past what I felt was morally questionable. And even if there was no serious issues to come about it, this was the only way I could prove to myself that I could move ahead.

So I made the decision to commit, and run along as far as I could possibly get away with. "You do realize that we are about to do something that could get us in trouble. So I need you to promise me that we will not go any further than what I'm willing to give you."

Luna's wings began to unfurl, her breathing growing more erratic as she stayed motionless. She didn't even give me an answer before making a lunge at me with her head bowed down. I quickly jerked back to avoid her horn giving me any injury, politely navigating her away from poking my eye out. She looked up to me to see the brief panicked expression on my face before she started to fall into a nervous wreck. "I'm s-s-so sorry! I-I-I thought t-that I just─"

"Slow down." I calmly advised, seeing her inexperience goes for more ways than one. I politely placed my hand beneath her muzzle and ordered her. "Don't rush in. Lean with your head up."

The princess started to appear more discouraged than ever. "How disgraceful it is for me to be instructed on how to initiate a kiss."

Honestly, I was surprised. In any case with the way she was teasing me, I could easily assume that she wanted nothing more than to break a thousand year dry spell. But each of the times she was playing with me, she was always trying to ease her way in. But in each of those instances, I was either with my back on the bed or my butt on the floor. It all seemed so natural. But now, especially since I knew her secret, she was nervous. Everything that I'm used to seeing out of her had practically vanished, leaving behind a metaphorical sheltered young girl who doesn't know much about intimate encounters.

Then again, she did say that everything she studied were from books. So she doesn't know what kissing feels like. And I had to be the one to train her on that. I can't just simplify things, explain them in a way that would be easier to understand... I had to show her.

So I leaned in to lightly press my lips against hers. The princess shrieked as our lips met, her eyes wide open while I stopped guiding her muzzle. She became statuesque, letting me just remain in place for a while before I withdrew myself. Her eyes remained open with shock, her heartbeat showing more in her neck while she swallowed the nervousness down her throat.

"There. Now do you think you can do that?"

The princess pressed a hoof to her lips, repeatedly feeling for the absent texture of mine. She squeaked softly. "Your lips, they're so soft."

"Yours are quite full." I replied.

"What does it mean to have my lips full?" She asked.

I proceeded to compliment her even more. "It means that they are pleasing to the feel and the eye. You have wonderful lips."

The princess stopped being a statue for the time being and started showing the excitement I saw just moments earlier when I had first turned on the TV. "My lips are wonderful, does that mean that my lips are good to kiss?"

"They are."

Luna leaned in, kissing me head on, surprising me with her reply. This time she pressed even harder, almost trying to stamp her lips onto my face. I pulled away for a moment and placed a finger on her muzzle, halting her progress. "Is something wrong?"

"Try not to push so hard. Just let it linger for a while, let it develop naturally. When you kiss someone, you're not fighting for position as much as you are embracing the moment."

Luna then replied. "But I read that some wars are won by the clashing of lips, that if I were to assert my dominance that I would feel irresistible."

I feel like some context was probably overlooked in her logic. "Luna, when you fight for position, it's not so much as literally showing your strength. It's more like..." I reminded myself that it would be better to show her as opposed to telling her.

So instead of explaining it, I went in and kissed her once more. Instead of just leaning in to give her a long peck on the lips, I decided to let my natural motions dictate the flow. Her eyes bucked open a second time while her lips were more naturally separated from each other. I took the opportunity to then explore the princess for a little while, my tongue grazing against hers. My head tilted just a bit, hers moving the opposite way. I opened my eyes to catch a glimpse of her, finding that she was looking at me the entire time. I stopped for a second to see what was wrong, but she gave a single pant before succumbing to her natural instincts.

Her hooves began to wander, her wings started to encircle me, her lips welcoming mine. Her tongue found itself going on the offense, her eyes sealed themselves away from view while she drove her tongue in for mine. I replied in kind, seeking hers. She giggled for a second before we lost ourselves in each other for that moment. My hands encircled her, my fingers running up her back and onto her wings. She unleashed a breathy moan, seeking more of me as her magic quickly illuminated the bottom of my shirt to pull over my head. I raised my arms to accommodate her, and my hands started to wander around her body, eventually reaching to the base of her tail. She drew a sharp intake of air, indicating her arousal before forcing my head into the crook of her neck. Her hoof held me in the back of my shoulder, urging me to go further. Her magic also gave me instruction to ease my fingers inside of her.

Upon feeling the moistness against my fingers, I was suddenly jolted back into reality. It was then where I discovered that what we were doing was doing a lot more than toeing the line. I quickly withdrew myself from her, panting as I felt myself throbbing with desire. The shock of it all had reached the both of us, but it did nothing but excite the princess even more. I had to urge myself to calm down, to not let my arousal completely dictate my next course of action. The princess bit her lip as the tips of her wings started to reach back to her royal posterior. Her eyes locked onto me as she leaned back, letting her wings reveal to me the moist pink flesh of her most treasured item. As her wings exposed herself, I could see a trail of her essence run from within, only to land on the carpet beneath her. Her eyes glared at me with a beautiful aquamarine luminescence, her muzzle pointed downward while she stared.

The intense state of arousal combined with the pungent musk she provided urged me to lunge forward. I clasped at the front of my jeans, knowing that I could not give her what I wanted to provide at the time. But I offered her my fingers as well as my condolences for my disobedience. As the first two I offered began to sink within her, she fell onto her back and reached her hooves around my body, clinging me into her. Her hips rocked with each push I offered. Her mind seemingly a muddled mess of jumbled words and incoherent pleas, she grew more and more impatient, demanding that I'd give her more.

Before I knew it, she was crying out in pain, almost like a whimpering dog begging for her next meal. Finally fed up with the frustration of my not providing her what she wanted for the time being, she made the attempt to use her magic to remove my pants. Quickly catching her, I placed my hand on her horn and let my stained fingers run the length of her horn. If the princess hadn't reached a new state of arousal before, she reached it here. I then craned in to kiss the base of her horn, causing her to cross her eyes in ecstasy.

But it wasn't enough.

Despite my distracting foreplay, she still had the mental fortitude to govern her magic in a second attempt to free my ever-growing ego. I whispered to her, coming up with an idea. "Where's your toy?"

As soon as I finished the question, the item popped right up beside her. I grabbed the toy and pushed it onto her, teasing her quivering entrance with it. The princess motioned her hips towards it, knowing what she wanted and pleading for it. Her eyes continued locking on to me while she didn't dare to stop herself. But even as I saw her enjoying herself, I started to feel the same dissatisfaction of not getting enough of what I wanted. I didn't just desire more, I craved for a release, and I wanted to get it any way I could.

Then a cruel idea came to mind.

I took the toy away from her, watching as she mewled with sadness that her precious toy was being taken away from her. But I would not deny her for long. Instead, I walked to the couch and sat down, holding the toy against my crotch, right on top of my completely turgid length. I adjusted myself accordingly, making sure I was somewhat comfortable in my jeans. Luna then got up and quickly walked over to me. I patted my lap, commanding her as if she was a dog.

That moment, I watched as the very sister to Princess Celestia herself climb herself to me, straddling over me. Ensuring that I was properly aligned, she gave me all of her countenance as the royal princess to the throne found herself a new seat to grace herself upon. I held myself steady while she sank down upon me, her hips meeting with mine, my hands feeling all of her upon landing.

She rose for a second seemingly to adjust herself, but her magic reactivated to hold my simulated length steadily in place while she freed my hands. The night princess sank once more and rose again, placing a foreleg on my shoulder while she started to work in a slow rhythm. Satisfied with my offering, she kissed me for a while before she increased her tempo. My legs began to anchor my lower half, allowing me to meet her halfway on her descent and retreat with her ascent.

My hands began to explore the many parts of her body as we synchronized our movements. The sweet coos of her voice made me feel a feverish desire to make her squeal even more. My only true desire was that I wished that I were truly inside of her. And when I closed my eyes, I imagined myself plunging inside her. Judging from the resistance I had with each withdrawal, I knew she was vice-like. Each time she sank, I could only imagine how warm she was, how inviting her touch was to me. I wanted to feel the presence of royalty surrounding me, milking me dry of every possible descendant I aimed to instill within her womb.

Her eyes clenched shut as her pace suddenly grew erratic. The princess seized for a few seconds, her joints locking up and her wings unfurling to engulf the entire length of my couch, stretching a couple of feet out on each end. I thrust myself forward, coming close to a release before she allowed the toy to fall out of her with an audible pop. As the toy freed itself from her, she also freed much of her own built-up tension all over my lap, gracing me with an abundance of her royal fragrance.

As for me, I was given the much more disappointing reward of a ruined orgasm, a small helping of my own seed spilling down my leg, trapped in my own jeans as opposed to experiencing the heavenly ascent of impossibly siring a royal heir, no matter the legitimacy.

As quickly as the session came to a boil, it ended as such.

Luna, descending back down from her much-sought-after climax, sat in my lap and kissed me tenderly, asserting no dominance and expressing only gratitude. Her royal highness laid on my chest, panting and reclaiming lost oxygen. Meanwhile I was sitting with the discomfort of having my jeans completely covered in female ejaculate on the outside, while my pants were slowly filling with my own cum on the inside. My pants weren't a party at this rate, more like a Sunday morning hangover after a win over at Texas Memorial. The princess would lie on my chest, kissing me tenderly for a few minutes before she came to a sudden realization.

This would probably be the only time I would ever hear her curse. "Shit! The scroll!"

I looked at her wearily, still feeling pretty awkward with the cocktail in my pants. "What?"

The princess stared at me, giggled for a moment before blushing bashfully. "I know I said that I would give you the scroll, but... it was really here the entire time."

"Really, where?" I asked.

The princess got up, knocking the toy out of my lap onto the floor while she stared in between my legs. "Well... it might be a bit... damaged."

I quickly got off of the couch and pulled one of the cushions back to reveal a soaking wet scroll lodged between the two cushions. I gently recovered the scroll, unfurling it to read some stained lettering and smudged ink. The words were barely legible now while a quarter of the equation was covered in Essence de Luna. Needless to say the musk that filled the room was twice as strong on the parchment, the same went for my sofa and my pants.

Luna smiled nervously as she muttered to herself. "At least this was memorable."

After we finished, I tried to suggest the idea of cleaning myself up before I would escort her back to Canterlot. However, the maliciously deviant princess walked out before I could even turn around to head to my room. So I had to chase her down for a quick second before she finally threw on a cloaking spell. After that, I was pretty much walking around the parking lot smelling like sweat and shame. Mel was enjoying the comfort of her own shower when we arrived, so she didn't get a chance to catch anything that might've smelled funny.

Crossing back over to Canterlot, Luna teleported herself away to avoid being seen with me. Meanwhile, I was left with the indignity of needing to immediately report to Shining and Blueblood. I'm sure it had to have been a full day for those two to be waiting in one spot, and I'm sure questions have been asked. And judging from the higher rate of guard activity in the halls, it seemed that those questions were asked by a certain pink-pastel princess. Even the guards nearby had informed me that the search efforts to locate Shining was orchestrated by his wife. I vowed to assist in any way I could before quickly setting off.

Now while Mel didn't catch a hint of what debauchery was lingering on me, many of the guards and maids did.

As I walked, I could hear a few murmurs of maids asking who had gotten to me, who was the lucky one to spend an evening 'testing the new ride', or even a rumor that I had snuck out in disguise to visit the red-light district for some stress relief. The musings from the guards were a lot more terrifying. They had already seen many instances of Celestia visiting my room after-hours, how Celestia had ordered her old bed to be moved into my room. I've even heard the rumors going around that I had started trying to get too close to the princess, leaving only possibilities of scandalous behavior.

Then there were the rumors around Princess Luna. A few guards didn't miss the few occasions how she would openly approach me unlike she would with any other guard. How they heard the morning shenanigans involving her and Princess Celestia fighting over me inside my room. They even noted how she even once gloated about the possibility of spending time with me in front of my father before getting threatened to be relegated to my younger brother.

In case you haven't noticed, castle guards are hyper-observant to gossip, worse than the maids.

Everything around me sounded like a whisper as I walked past the checkpoints, even more rumors stirred since I was going out with such a strong smell. The guards at the gates started to observe my every move upon my exit, so I couldn't immediately head to the back alley. I had to buy some time by turning a corner and navigating my way around through the other side, where there was little to no guard presence save the ones high up on the battlements. And even they couldn't see me from where I was walking.

Finally, I reached the entrance and started to mumbled the words to myself. The bricks shook with each time I murmured the password, but they didn't move without a magical force being applied. I started to reach down for my pendant and quickly realized that it wasn't on my neck. I had actually forgotten it back in my apartment, probably yanked off with the shirt I had hastily threw back on trying not to chase after Luna in the cold December air. I cursed at myself, knowing that I had to go back and get that so that I could keep my access to the various passageways throughout the castle.

But then I had another idea. I looked back at my training from the past few days and remembered that I was effectively a magic user now. It didn't take me a second thought to hold my hand out and start chanting.

"I am the mare who arranges the blocks."

The soft white glow around my hand started to also touch one of the bricks, spreading to the many others that revealed the passageway to the lower caverns. I looked at my first instance of magical manipulation for the sole purpose of access, smiling with the thought that I could soon come up with other ways to use my newfound power.

As I entered into the hidden passage, I started to think back to an old video I watched regarding the theme song of Tetris and changed only the word 'man' for 'mare' and realized how funny the reference was. "♫I am the mare who arranges the blocks that descends u-pon me from. Up. A-bove. They come down, and I spin them around 'till they fit in the ground like. Hand. In. Glove.♪"

When I entered into the main chamber, I saw Blueblood quietly lounging about on the ground with a book levitated two feet away from his face. The stallion looked completely relaxed, his forelegs folded into his chest. Meanwhile Shining looked stressed beyond reasoning. He was staring at a chess board groaning to the other prince, his mane a bit out of order. "Best of seventy-five?"

"Shining, thirty-seven times is enough."

"I was close last time!" Shining argued.

"My sadism has limits, Armor-boy. I'm not Chrysalis." Blueblood replied, unmoved from the book he was reading.

The young prince had already reset the board and announced his move. "I'm going white this time. I just moved my pawn from E2 to E4."

The blond princess motionlessly called back. "Left knight to F6."

"Pawn from A2 to A4."

"Left knight to E4. Pawn's gone."

Blueblood looked bored out of his mind while Shining just moved his other pawn forward. "Pawn to A5."

"Left knight to C5." The prince stopped reading his book to peek up at Shining. "I know you're just now learning, but can you not send your pieces to their doom so quickly?"

I decided to interject on the young prince's behalf. "Left white knight to C3?" I called out.

The two jumped up, Blueblood slamming the book shut before standing back on all fours. Shining moved the piece before walking up to greet me. "Nondis, took you long enou─" But as the two stallions got closer, they started to immediately catch the stench I wore. The young prince covered his muzzle. "SWEET FAUST!"

Meanwhile, Blueblood didn't seem phased by it that much, instead starting to become aroused. "THAT'S a smell. Must say it's quite enviable."

I grimaced as I pulled the damaged scroll out of my pocket, handing it to the two princes. "Here's what you're looking for?"

Shining backed away two steps, trying not to get too close to the intense musk I was giving off. "I'm not touching that. Cadance has a very keen sense of smell. If that touches me, you'll need to start planning my funeral."

Blueblood chuckled as he took the scroll, unfurling it to read the contents. As he did, he caught another whiff of the scent. "So do you have a story to explain the overabundance of mare stench?"

I sighed for a moment and gritted my teeth before whispering. "Princess Luna."

Shining damn near jumped back, even his tail raised like a cat out of the shock. "YOU DIDN'T!" He shouted while the blond prince placed a hoof over his mouth with the anticipation of shock.

"Yeeeahh and no. She had a toy, I had a crotch to hold it against. Can't get busted for drilling if the drill ain't yours." I explained quietly, still trying to process what had just happened.

The prince planted his hooves together and pointed them at me. "So you've effectively bedded, but not entirely, Princess Luna?"

"In my world, on my apartment couch to be exact." I confessed before smelling myself again. "Definitely will be cleaning the upholstery this weekend."

Shining sat down as he rubbed his hooves together with a shrug. "I'd ask you how it felt, but since you said it wasn't your drill that did the digging... it would be kinda pointless."

"How do you feel?" Blueblood inquired like a giddy schoolchild. Shining even lined up beside him, almost with the same wonder in his eyes. "You've got the opportunity no other guard in history has ever had. I trust it was something worth seeing."

For some odd reason I imagined that one scene from the movie Grease, where the guys were talking up on the bleachers singing the words 'Tell me more, tell me more.' But it wasn't exactly a summer night worth writing about. "...It was fucking beautiful, I'll say it. But have you ever busted a nut and still somehow have a case of blue balls?"

The two stallions cringed at the thought. Shining bit his foreleg while tensing his hindlegs, generally compressing his entire body. "Oooh that's bad."

I unleashed a guttural groan, remembering the very moment she gave me the look that damn near took me in. "Shining, I wanted to say to myself that Celestia's clairvoyance was limited to just one dimension and run with it."

The three of us damn-near broke our necks looking back to the source of the voice, seeing a pair of aquamarine eyes glowing in the darkness of the shadows. The Princess of the Night then emerged from another hall with a most stern expression on her face.

"LUNA!?" Both Shining and I squawked out.

Blueblood stood slackjawed, surprised that she knew of our being here. "How did you─!?"

Princess Luna interrupted his question with another scroll embedded with a royal seal and tossed it beneath his hooves. "Changeling prisoner released on royal waivers? A human looking for a pony transformation spell? Surely you didn't think that I wouldn't add up the lies."

Both of the princes looked to one another before Blueblood felt his heart-rate increase. "So what now then?"

Still wearing that deathly glare she entered the room with, she continued to speak. "I'm sure my sister will come up with some means to appropriately punish the three of you for your insubordination." She said before softening her tone. "But I believe I would suffer a punishment for my actions towards our beloved captain over there."

"I'm sure." The blond prince responded, starting to take a sigh of relief.

"Just see that it does not happen again, Blueblood." The princess warned.

"Acknowledged."

The princess then narrowed her eyes towards the younger prince and pointed at him. "And as for you, Shining Armor, I am deeply disappointed that you would stoop to such behaviors, again." She said before adjusting her tone once more. "Do find the time to apologize to Cadance for your absence today, she has been deeply concerned with your lack of availability this evening and lack of communication. Even the guards have involved themselves to see that your whereabouts are known."

Already knowing how his wife was going to be, he immediately quoted his method of apology. "Bring her chocolate and wine. Got it."

Luna then turned to me, narrowing her eyes as she pointed to the ground beneath her, her voice suddenly growing darker. "As for you captain, come hither."

I could only assume that she was understandably upset over the conversation she had walked in on. Willing to accept my punishment, I slowly approached the princess. She pointed down again, commanding me to kneel before her. When I did, I was suddenly reintroduced to her lips. She didn't waste any time in intensifying the affair with her tongue before I stopped being shocked long enough to separate myself from her. "I thought you said we were done with that!"

The princess wore a smirk. "One more for the journey. Think of me when you dream tonight, I'll be sure to make up for your... *ahem* disappointing finale." She said, extending her wing towards my crotch for a short while. allowing her feathers to linger, she withdrew and started to go about her way. "Goodnight, captain."

Shining, still maintaining a considerable distance away from me, nodded slowly to match every word he spoke. "She is vicious."

Overhearing the young prince's statement, Luna turned back around to speak with me one last time. "Oh, and captain..." She said with a purely lighthearted tone. "Please do mind the airspace every time you feel you should enter into here. You'll never know when you'll be paying a visit. If I'm overhead and you don't mind your airspace, I may forget our little deal and hold you to another."

I closed my eyes and facepalmed. "Okay. But if you do that, your sister will forget to let me live."

"You'll live." She answered dismissively before disappearing into the shadows.

Blueblood took another sniff at me and looked back to the dark hall she vanished into and basked. "She is quite voracious."

"She is going to get me killed." I stressed.

The Next Day...

Luna never paid me that midnight visit in my dream. Instead, I was awoken to the sight of the sun beaming on my face once more. My breakfast was just as plainly as it was yesterday. Celestia seemingly didn't have any knowledge of what all took place yesterday nor did she have any suspicions, as she would've been the one to wake me up instead. I didn't even see Luna today, usually she'd be coming in from her night shift when I'm eating breakfast. I didn't even see Shining this morning, hear wind of Cadance either. From what one of the chefs told me, Blueblood paid a visit to a local eatery for his breakfast.

Guess he got tired of the new head chef blanching everything. Subtle flavors, my ass.

Jumping back into my usual schedule, I was reintroduced into monotony. Today seemed especially boring for a while, almost making me feel like being on intimate terms with a princess and getting thrown to parts unknown for deployment was a good thing for my sanity. Even being assigned in Ponyville, no day is the same. Here, it's like there's a strict schedule to follow up until the lunch hour. Then whatever command issues me from there on is what I'm locked in for until around six. Then I head to the cafeteria, eat my next blanched meal, go back to my room and finish my day.

But instead of spending my lunch hour reluctantly inserting wet cardboard in my mouth, I took Blueblood's example and ventured off the castle grounds. However, it seemed that little ordinance Celestia had out on me for dietary purposes had not expired. So I had to give some foal a few bits to go get me a few carrot dogs from one of the few street vendors. After that, I gave them a few bits for snacks and went about my way.

As I was about to stuff my face with one of those greasy, juicy carrot dogs, I saw a golden carriage make it's way down the street. Immediately, I placed the dogs behind me and saluted the passing carriage. A small crowd gathered as the pegasi-guided chariot wheeled up the avenue, carrying none other than Princess Celestia and Prince Blueblood. Her guards didn't even bat an eye, but the princess sure did.

She ordered the chariot to a stop. Blueblood glanced over to see my standing in place, giving the passing princess the mandatory salute. As she stepped off her chariot, the guards removed their reigns and escorted her through the crowd to see me. Blueblood walked closely behind her while she smiled kindly in her approach. "Good afternoon, captain. I suppose you were in search of some new scenery for your lunch break?"

I rolled with her assumption. "Yes ma'am. Sometimes I don't wanna just be stuck inside and not take in the fresh air, you know."

The princess continued smiling as her horn lit a golden glow. "Well, if you wanted fresher air, you could've made your way to the castle gardens. There is so much beauty there for you to enjoy and our grounds are further shielded from any impurities that may linger from the city."

I then replied. "That's true, but then the air starts to get a little too fresh. And then it's not as lively as it is outside of the keep."

The Princess of the Sun continued smiling while she spoke. "I see. So I take it that's your only reason for venturing out on a relatively short break?"

"Yes, your highness." I answered with a bow.

While I bowed, I felt something drip onto the back of my neck. I almost pulled a muscle over how fast I popped back up, only to find the carrot dogs I was hiding lingering over my head. The princess didn't even skip a beat as the items lingered in her possession. "And it wouldn't also happen to be for dietary intentions?"

I couldn't help but to inwardly frown while I lowered my head again. "Not at all, your highness."

The princess looked to the guards accompanying her and gave them both the greasy food items, to which they responded with stoic enthusiasm. Celestia shook her head. "Though I must say your enthusiasm for feeding your fellow guards is quite admirable, I feel that you should moderate your charitable donations more often."

As I saw the two pegasi munching on my ill-gotten goods, I could hear a sad clown singing for an opera in the back of my head. It felt like a tragedy had taken place. "Noted, your majesty."

Blueblood snickered behind her, trying his best not to make his amusement audible. She turned away from me, still wearing a smile on her face. "After all, my captain should not be eating all this stuff anyways. Your diet should be a lot friendlier to your purpose. I want you to remain in your best shape if you are to serve me. Can't have you getting lethargic and sick. Your holiday feast is still threatening you, so I must ensure that your intake is as healthy as possible."

"Right." I answered.

The princess opened one eye and glanced at me, almost with a false sulking expression. "And Melanie did inform me that you spent this past Sunday with your father and brothers for lunch at a buffet."

I felt myself wanting to curl into a ball as soon as I heard that. Damn, Mel, you gotta rat me out like that? "It was a family gathering." I replied.

"And a gathering you didn't make me aware of. So I'm afraid your diet will have to last even longer."

My jaw dropped as I started to fall on my knees, begging her. "Oh please, you gotta ease up on me. I can't deal with whoever's cooking in the kitchen nowadays. At first things tasted pretty good, but then it all started tasting like nothing. Please don't do me like that!"

The princess quirked an eyebrow before turning completely around to face me. "Are you begging me to change your menu?"

I nodded repeatedly, clasping my hands together. "Yes! Please, I can't stand the food anymore. I don't even eat fruit that's sweet. The closest I get to stuff like that are granny smith apples."

Celestia took a deep breath before responding. "Oh gracious... So I'm not the only one."

"Come again?" My eyes popped back up, looking at the seemingly-relieved princess.

The princess giggled. "I was just about to make the same comment. The food at the castle has gotten a bit dreadful! I know I said something about it earlier, but now I know that I'm not the only one getting tired of it!"

"Well to be frank, Blueblood did pardon himself to one of the other restaurants this morning." I added.

She looked back at the blond prince, sighed again and ordered me to rise to my feet. "Well I am happy to know that you have grievance with the direction of the culinary staff. I suppose I should be able to send a written review of her performance and allow her to resign."

"Resign?" I asked, questioning her word choice.

"It would be better to send a message that she left the kitchen under her own volition as opposed to my terminating her position outright." She said before grumbling to herself. "She even refused to bake me a cake last night, citing high sugar intake and various health concerns."

My stomach rumbled loudly, causing the princess' eyes to bulge. And just as I was about to look at my own stomach, I could hear the bell tower chiming in the distance, indicating my time had been up. One of the guards whispered to the high princess. "Your highness, we should be moving."

Blueblood once more tried to stifle a laugh while Celestia addressed me for the last time today. "I suppose you should probably keep your lunch locale limited to the palace only. Time is already scarce for you and I assure you that your selections are to improve from tomorrow on. But please do enjoy the rest of your day."

The princess walked away, leaving Blueblood behind to joke at my expense. "You'd be better off finding scraps in the back alley. Maybe after your shift is done, you can feast on the brick and mortar." I felt a bit taken aback by his statement as he seemingly meant it with some play of malice, but quickly realized he was talking about the secret passageway. The prince then added. "I'm more surprised that you're even the Captain of the Royal Guard still, thought you would've keeled over a month ago. Sad really."

I see he was also trying to play at some animosity being present. So I had to send that same vibe out for others to see. "Why don't you go suck a dick!"

The princess' eyes looked back at me, but not with the warmness I saw earlier. Instead it was cold and full of intent. She might not have said anything through her mouth, but she did portray it through her abilities. "No captain of mine shall use such an uncouth vernacular in my presence, especially directed to your leaders!"

Yeah, my word choice might not have been the best there. I lowered my head in apology. "Forgive me for my incompetence, your highness."

Blueblood gave me quite the bastard smile, touting his superiority over me as he trotted away. "Try not to starve to death, captain."

As convincing as his performance was, I still felt like his words were extremely personal to me.

Later that Evening...

I entered through the enchanted portal into the hidden chambers. When I arrived, I could see Shining holding a bag of ice on his head while Cadance stood over him. She looked over to me with surprise. Shining just groaned while he tried to adjust himself to a more comfortable position.

Cadance questioned me. "What are you doing here?"

"I didn't know you were having a meeting. Sorry, I'll just see myself out."

The princess didn't let me leave so casually and held me in place. "That isn't an answer. Why are you even here if you're not going to do anything to help us?"

I shrugged. "Lady, I am tired and hungry. Not in the mood."

Shining mumbled. "That won't stop her. Trust me, it just brought me more pain."

Cadance turned back to her husband. "So I'm hurting you because I'm wanting to keep you in my sights for today?"

"You are kinda extra clingy." I answered.

The princess turned to me and bellowed back. "HOW ABOUT YOU STAY OUT OF MY MARRIAGE!?"

"Like you stayed out of my relationship? Yeah, that's the rich hypocrisy I've been wanting to hear for so long."

The princess turned to her husband and shouted. "Shining, say something. Do something. Be a fucking husband for thirty damn seconds!"

Shining continued to rub his head. "Can't you two just keep it down?"

"See, even your husband's tired of your mouth moving." I replied harshly. "You should learn to take a hint and get off of his back before you end up pushing him away."

"Fuck you, I will. This is MY marriage─"

"Didn't Chrysalis marry him first?" I asked, going for as low of a blow as possible.

It was a decision I soon regretted.

With a loud shriek, the princess shot a blast from her horn into my stomach, sending me across the room until I hit the wall behind me. My head hit a row of books as I felt the wind completely evacuate from within my lungs. I tried to regain my bearings, but stumbled as the pink pony princess stormed out of the cavern. As soon as we heard the sounds of the bricks adjusting in the distance, I knew she had left for good.

I weakly replied to the young prince. "Sorry I had to do your wife like that."

"Oh no, you got what you asked for." Shining replied, trying to chuckle before grabbing at his head again. "Augh, I couldn't get her to leave me for five seconds. You did better than I could."

"Why is she so possessive today?" I asked. "And what caused your head to hurt so bad?"

"I was gone for most of the afternoon yesterday, remember?" He answered. "She's always like that when I don't tell her where I am for a while, it's been like that since the wedding. And moreso like that since she got pregnant. Now as for my head, Cadance spent half the day screaming about what I didn't say to Celestia the morning we had that meeting with her. So she decided to build that underneath yesterday's whole debacle and now I have two days worth of migraines."

"Well you're lucky I know what buttons to press to get her to storm off." I said, struggling to get back on my feet.

"Careful." He advised. "Press one too many and you might hit your self-destruct sequence."

"As long as you don't say what I say, it'll be fine."

"No shit. My saying that Chrysalis being the first to meet me at the alter is practically my begging for a divorce."

Blueblood appeared from one of the other halls, seemingly a bit frustrated. "Alright, Cadance is just storming outside of the alleyway entrance. What did you say to her, Nondis?"

"I said that Chrysalis married Shining first." I confessed, still trying to regain my breath from the massive hit I took to the solar plexus.

The blond prince grimaced. "You pressed THAT button? You must have a death wish."

"You kinda pressed one of mine earlier today too." I added, folding my arms. "How are you gonna hit me that low out in public and then laugh in my face when I get in trouble over it?"

Blueblood closed his eyes as he explained himself. "I only did what I had to do to sell the image that us royals were at odds with you still. To throw a retort of your caliber out in the open, in front of Celestia no less, was a pretty ballsy call."

"I went with my mind's first response, and got called out for it too. As soon as I got back to the castle, Celestia chewed me out over it and I was given a day to scrub every toilet on castle grounds."

Shining hummed before he spoke. "That reminds me of the time she busted me for trying to make you fail your final physical exam. I'm not too keen of cleaning up behind tourists."

I can only wonder how bad it will be. Guards aren't exactly a cut-and-clean group with maids around. "That's fun and all to think about, but I think we should get to talking before the bricks start moving again. I doubt Cadance knows what's going on right now."

"Noted." Blueblood performed an about face while he started to run down my next assignment. "With everything going on and seeing a desire to ensure your involvement is as limited as possible, Luna has elected to join us in our dealings."

And just as soon as he finished talking, Luna approached from the hall behind him. She gave me one look before continuing. "As some of you may already figured out, Cadance is slow on moving. So when she tries to throw together a plan, it doesn't usually work very well or come off as sophisticated due to her being distracted."

"And don't get me wrong, but I think her emotions play a lot on her intentions." I stated, speaking my honest mind. "If she's only moving based on emotions, then there's little room for consistency. Hell, the last time she called a meeting like this was when Twilight got in trouble over me."

"Still owe you for that." Shining groaned through his headache.

Luna continued. "And considering that you will be using the spell for the purpose of espionage, it would be better to have a caster who has practiced the spell on a number of occasions. And it would also help in clearing out some issues with the royal paperwork. Some warrants on higher officials are going to need a high clearance level to execute, and my status meets the quota. Hence I shall cast my lots with the likes of you all."

"Well welcome to the family." I said. "I guess we can pull off more stunts now."

Blueblood nodded. "Indeed. With Luna's signature, we can begin to pull some things together for a larger operation, if need be. After all, I have no power of warrant over those in service, only those incarcerated. Shining has no power over the constables outside of the Canterlot Precinct other than that of the Crystal Empire, and his military power only goes as high as his rank will allow it. "

"But since my power is second only to Celestia in very few circumstances, I can provide you the resources to ensure a safe and secure criminal apprehension or closure of operations." Luna concluded.

In other words, we have the master key to every precinct in the country. "Sounds promising, should I find something worth pursuing."

Shining stopped bemoaning his aching head to throw in his own opinion. "Well if you wanna start looking, then I suggest you get out to your meeting place with your VIP. Might not want to pass on that lead while it's still up for grabs."

I scrunched for a second before pulling out my phone and checking the date, realizing that Friday had come a lot sooner than I had expected. "Oh shit! I gotta go!"

Shining pointed to his left. "That way. Don't want you getting blasted against the racks by Cadance again. Her mood swings are about as extensive as the history of this nation."

"Thanks a bunch!" I called out, running out the direction I was pointed.

As I disappeared through the hallway, Blueblood leaned against one of the bookshelves with a sigh. "Too bad, I so wanted to give this spell a spin. It would've been funny to see the human stumble about in our anatomy for a change."

Luna snorted trying to hold back a laugh. "If it's anything like Alex's fumbling around, then it should've been most amusing."

Shining glanced back to the alleyway exit and grew dismayed. "I suppose I'll go soothe the raging beast. If I don't, she'll make tomorrow's headache even worse."

Luna's eyes expanded as she summoned a small pendant with a brightly glowing jewel from within her black chest plate. "Right! In speaking of headaches, I was suppose to give this back to Nondis. It would've been a pain to get back in this place without it."

Blueblood winced at the item and rubbed his chin. "Hmm... Isn't that the pendant he was supposed to be using in order to get in here?"

The princess confirmed Blueblood's concern. "I forgot to give this back to him. I snatched it off of the ground after we had finished up from our little negotiation."

Shining's ears perked up as he asked. "Wait, so if that was with you since yesterday... How the hell did he get in here then?"

While Blueblood and Shining stared at each other, the lunar princess smiled. "I suppose our captain is a fast learner."

One Hour Later...

I ran back to my room and threw on my captain's uniform, and darted out the front checkpoint. It took me a good thirty minutes to get back to the Sun Cryst Resort. I was not very energetic after that sprint, so I wasn't exactly looking for anything other than oxygen to fill my lungs. After a fifteen minute rest period, I jumped back into action and walked inside of the resort to the front desk.

The pony at the front desk immediately recognized me from the week prior and greeted me. "Greetings, sir. How may I be of service to you tonight?"

"Hey, is there a Blue Royal holding a reservation here?"

The pony behind the counter shook their head. "I'm afraid not, sir. There was one last week and they seem to have another reservation set up for next week in the presidential suite on the top floor."

I stomped my foot in a brief fit of irritation. "Okay, sorry for the interruption."

"No problem, come back to reserve a room soon, sir!"

"Okay." I lied, knowing how expensive it was to even get a room on the second floor.

I walked out of the lobby, feeling a sense of dread creeping up my spine. When I got outside, I couldn't help but lean against the glass window, thinking over a few things like where else she could be, what other venues would she be likely to visit, or even how many other places I could go to find her. And considering the multitude of places and establishments in Canterlot alone, I could only assume that any guess had to have been as good as trying to predict where one particular drop of rain would land in the midst of a hurricane.

All of a sudden, I felt something bulky bump into my leg. I looked down to see a really burly stallion with a scar over his right cheek staring back up at me. "Hey! Watch where you're going!"

Usually in an instance like this, my mind immediately thought of the worst case scenario for this encounter. At that point, I started to become somewhat confrontational. "Excuse me? I think you need to watch who you're trying to gyp out of their money! It might be Friday, but my check's a direct deposit."

The stallion, unlike many other thieves, became defensive. "Me, steal from you!? You must be out of your Faust-damned mind! You just need to watch where you're going! Ain't no need of starting trouble!"

"I'm stationary! I'm not even moving, how are you accusing me of starting shit!?" I asked as I was becoming increasingly irritated.

The stallion smirked and cocked an eyebrow. "So... trying to be a smart-ass, huh? Listen you lanky bastard, I don't care what you are. You're starting trouble on these streets, you're gonna get laid out on these streets."

As soon as he finished his sentence, another two stallions of a similar build appeared from behind a corner. Even behind me I could hear the hoofsteps of three other stallions. I turned around to see three unicorns, scarred and patched up almost like a group of pirates. One unicorn's horn lit up and produced a projection of a dagger. Another lit up to produce a baseball bat. The third created a tiny loaded crossbow.

The stallion that bumped into me earlier started speaking again. "Those guys ain't about no drama. They'll wipe you out and won't leave a trace of evidence back. You'll be dead in these streets."

I looked back to the hotel and shook my head. "You guys do realize we're on a public street, in front of a high-class hotel. There are witness all around you."

"That so?" The stallion looked around and smiled back at me. "Then tell me why nopony seems to even know we're here?"

I looked around the street, seeing the many ponies passing by, not even batting an eye at what was going on. I even peered into the lobby, seeing the attendant looking blankly towards my direction, as if they were bored out of their mind. There was even a pony that walked right past me as I reached my hand out to them, only to find that it phased completely through the unknowing mare. Something swelled in my hand as I reached for my gun. My eyes shifted between both the earth-pony brutes and unicorns. The weapon I reached for was completely gone, rendering me defenseless.

I backed into the window even more, realizing that I had no training to go against this kind of magic. I never studied any unicorns that were capable of projecting weapons as opposed to simply shooting magic beams at me. Holding weapons was a different task as I could easily counter the weapon altogether. But instead of being a tangible blade I could parry, it was metaphysical objects that could possibly solidify at the whim of it's caster. It was nether a magic I was exposed to, nor was it a practice I had ever heard of before.

If anything, this was checkmate.

The burly stallion and his minions encircled me, chuckling as their leader bragged about their victory. "Goes to show you that a snot-nosed recruit made a captain solely on connections to royals don't have a prayer in the real world. You're good for talking up a storm, stirring a crowd, but nowhere near as good as putting your mouth where the money is."

Probably for the first time since Arimaspi Mountain, I felt the fear that consumed me while my back was against a tree. "What do want from me?" I asked.

"Your life. Human parts would catch a ballsy bounty at the southern market exchange. Few hundred thousand just for your hand."

Other voices chimed out around me. "I heard he's pretty lucky dodging all that death. I bet his feet's worth a fortune!"

"The anatomical community would love to pick at his brains. His head would go for an easy two million."

One of the unicorns smirked as he got closer with his dagger. "Hey guys, he's got a bit of a cycle going. A human with a magic reservoir, oh that's gotta be primetime bits."

The stallion leading the pack laughed with a raspy quality, jumping at me and placing his hoof on the glass window beside me. "...Alright, we made our point, boys."

I stood paralyzed for a second while the six stallions started to back away and discard their weapons. I looked at them with timid confusion. "Wa-a-wha-what's g-going on?"

"Just a little evaluation." At last, there was one voice I could seemingly recognize coming from within the hotel. Almost like she just got through with a casual stroll, Blue Royal appeared from out of the lobby with her horn glowing the same color as her green eyes. "I hired these guys to show you some of the potential dangers of getting in too deep at the wrong side of town."

The leading stallion gave another raspy chuckle. "Told ya the runt ain't got the goods to make it past one round."

One of the unicorns appeared to be disappointed, pulling out a small sack of bits. "And this is the guy who wiped over a hundred arimaspi? Sheesh, those things are some serious pushovers to be twenty-feet tall."

"I heard you did away with Gunther. Too bad he got sent to his death over you."

"Gunther?" I questioned.

Blue Royal quietly answered. "I'm sure you have recollection of the griffon assassin that was sent to you by Count DuMoneé, right?"

How could I forget, left one hell of a lasting impression. So long-lasting that I'm shitting at least five hours earlier than usual. "COUNT SENT THAT BASTARD TO ME!?" I answered angrily.

One of the other unicorns started to lament over the dead griffon. "Ah yeah, I remember he turned that one guy into a breathing puppet, the fucking dipshit didn't even know his brother was already a corpse looking at him. I'm surprised he didn't question why he wasn't talking."

The head of the group shrugged nonchalantly. "He'll be missed. But more money for the rest of us." The group started laughing, completely ignorant to the fact that I was standing right beside them, all of them except the leader who nudged my leg. "But what the hell. Maybe the next time we meet up, Captain Entitled, we'll be on a contract for your head. Best remember that before getting too friendly."

The unicorn who approached me with the dagger earlier walked beside me. "After all, in our world, there are no such things as friends, unlike the troupe of ponies surrounding your ex-girlfriend. We only have... drinking partners."

"What happens if you get contracted to kill one of those so-called 'drinking partners'?" I asked, growing morbidly curious despite my unease.

"Then it's whatever. He or she who drinks last, drinks best. Just business, got a job, get paid, no complaints."

The stallions seemed completely blunt to the thought of taking a life or two. I never once considered myself a personality who doesn't weigh those kinds of things, especially when it came to humans and ponies. If anything, my disdain for changelings all came from a quick decision to defend myself or die not doing so, and it's similar for the arimaspi. Only my reoccurring experiences with those species drove me to not have a second thought fighting them. But with those guys, it was like they abandoned whatever humanity they had left, cheapening the worth of a living soul and exchanging that value for monetary gains.

Even the griffon I fought against, he didn't seem to care how many lives he put in danger going after me. I was just a target while everyone else was just 'in the way'. It was so unusual to feel so small, even as I tower over every pony in this world. But in the scope of things, I knew I had a lot to pick up on it quickly or I'd end up finding myself being a lot smaller than I'd rather be.

And Blue Royal was eager to show me that. "So how's my favorite human doing, other than your encounter with the welcoming committee?" She asked with quite possibly the brightest smile that could best define the word 'contradiction'.

As soon as the magic of her horn dissipated, I could see ponies across the street glancing over at me standing here. Some even waved at me, eagerly awaiting me to wave back. The attendant at the counter even saw me standing before the entrance and looked for a while, noticing the mare talking to me.

"What was that spell?" I asked.

The mare didn't even skip a beat with her energy. "Just a little areal distortion spell, no one can see us or hear us as long as we're in the field." She answered, grabbing my hand to place against hers. "And in speaking of spells, you seemed to have gotten a hold of a few."

...Honestly, how much trouble did I just walk into?

We walked further into town, settling in at the park downtown. It started to be fewer foals and many more adults looking to either have some casual fun or possibly romanticize the night. One thing that was for certain, there were a lot of couples strolling through the park this evening. I think there was one couple standing by the fountain, the stallion fumbling around with his saddlebags while looking at the mare nervously.

Meantime, I was getting the usual treatment from the press ponies hiding in the bushes nearby. But a simple wave forward with a smile, Blue Royal lured out the paparazzi and gave them a small bribe of bits to leave us be. She then took a second to notice my rumbling stomach and walked off to a nearby food kiosk. I brought my curious eyes back to the couple by the fountain. Instead of looking like he was about to drop something out of clumsiness, he looked somber as a ring was held in his hoof. Sadly, the mare with him closed the box and shook her head. The depressed stallion put the ring away back into his saddlebags, while the mare smiled as best as she could while turning him down. She gave him a kiss on the cheek before walking away for the night.

I got up and started walking towards the poor guy, but realizing it was a familiar face. "Single File?"

The stallion chuckled lightly with his reply. "Heh, I didn't think I would see you here."

I knelt by him and placed my arm around him. "You good, buddy?"

"Yeah... Just some hopeless romantic nonsense. Nothing to worry about."

"I saw you a bit earlier. You did pretty good to overcome your jitters enough to pop the big one on her."

The young stallion sighed. "If you call that disaster of a proposal 'good' then I want to see what's bad to you."

"She's turning down a really great prospect. You got a career ahead of you, a solid income, a place to live, and someone who's doing their best to commit to the cause."

"She just said that she wasn't ready." He answered, looking towards the mare holding a shopping bag full of scarves and gifts. "I guess she didn't think I would commit to her so earnestly. I should've given her more space."

I kept my eye on her as she wandered around a tree, looking at a much bulkier stallion. The stallion quirked an eyebrow before smiling and taking her by the foreleg, escorting her down the street. I kissed my teeth with moderate disgust. "Maybe she's the wrong one to be holding on to." I said pointing at the couple for Single File to see.

I felt nothing but empathy for the poor guy as his world came crashing down. I watched him whisper her name for one second, and the screaming it the next, only for her to speed up her walk with her more aesthetically pleasing choice for an escort. "Figures... I always said she was too well-pampered. I mean she never really asked me for... you know... attention."

I rubbed the stallions head, disheveling his mane a little. "Ah, fuck that bitch. You been said she had problems going steady with you. Do you know how many girls there are here in town you can talk to?"

"None that's spent over three years dealing with me." He replied.

"And guess what, your hours are more flexible so you can dedicate more of your time with that one. And if she has a complaint about you going to your job, then that's not the one to be holding on to. It's about where she wants to be, not where she is, and the place she should want to be is with you. That lady, she ain't about you and she's gonna miss out."

The stallion took a deep breath before starting to make his way away from the fountain. "I get it... I just need some time to be alone, think things through."

"Drop by the castle if you ever need to talk!" I called out as he walked along the path leading out of the park.

The stallion dragged on slowly, as if he was chanting a dirge to his happiness. Before I could say anything else about it, the scent of carrot dogs graced my nostrils. I looked beside me to see the young blue unicorn mare holding one for me to have. She was apparently watching me talk with Single File. "You're far too kind."

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

She shrugged as she spoke. "I guess it's not often you see a random stranger walking up to another random stranger giving love advice. He seemed pretty down, what happened?"

"Some material chick with no common sense or decency walking away from a good life." I replied before looking to her. "Hey, do you know of─"

"All my contacts are off limits for your request." She announced harshly. "And I don't do stallions either, so nice try trying to play wingpony."

"A guy can try." I said before munching down on the carrot dog.

She sat at the lip of the fountain, pulling out a small manila envelope that was sealed by button-and-thread. When she opened it, she immediately changed to a business-mindset as opposed to the casual care-free approach she had for most of the evening. "Now let's debrief you on your target. The bastard you're going after is going to give you a lot of headway in your objective. But he doesn't go out and about on any given day, it has to be a special event taking place or he's running low on his usual energy.

Flicking my hands in the fountain for a quick rinse after realizing I had no napkins to use, I questioned her motive for me going after him. "So what is it about this guy you don't like? Can't say it's just because of mutual interests."

"More so than you know. He's the guy that helped with some of the red tape operations endangering your life and the life of an element bearer. You could say he did a lot of the behind-the-scenes work."

"I thought Count DuMoneé did all of that by himself." I said, wiping my hands against my pants.

"Count DuMoneé did signed on it, orchestrated the plot, but did not go about this plan on his own. He had assistance in convincing the brass of the guards to turn a blind eye to the names on the paper."

"And this guy has influence and how?" I inquired.

"One of the guards in the higher chain of command happens to be his cousin."

Typical good-old-boys networking. "So shouldn't I bring up an investigation on this particular officer instead?"

"That's fine, if you want to encounter one of those same thugs you saw earlier."

I looked down to my waist and saw the gun still concealed in my waistband. "Fair enough, don't want to fight anymore assassins."

"Smart choice." She said, giving me the envelope filled with pictures.

Apparently they were images of him wearing shades and a wig, attending what appeared to be a gladiatorial arena, all taken from far behind him in what appeared to be the upper rafters. With him was a young effeminate stallion and seemingly his twin sister And the more I sifted through the pictures, the more explicit they became. My eyes had become the size of dinner plates as I saw him biting his lip, burying himself inside the stallion while the twin sister had her legs splayed before her brother, letting him clean the mess the politician left inside of her.

I flipped over to the next picture and saw him pitched over the stallion's body, the sister coiling the politician's mane around her hoof as she held him to the ground to kiss her hooves. I could also see in the background the grizzly image of a dead stallion laying on the floor of the arena with a knife in his head, while another blood-stained stallion victoriously stood by the corpse.

I know I heard some things about this dark underworld, but I didn't really think it to be as bad as advertised. "Holy hell, this guy's a total pervert." I said, trying not to show any kind of shock.

"I can assure you, Count held him close in his back pocket. If you want to go after the next biggest threat to your attempt to clean house, this is it."

I went back to the first photo, seeing the politician smiling while he wrapped his hoof around the young stallion. The mare was walking at least a good three feet away from the two. "I wonder if Count was as nasty as this guy here."

Blue wouldn't say anything for several seconds before whispering to herself. "Putrid filth."

I could see on her face the absolute hatred and contempt she had for the deceased politician. I was more amazed that I had found someone who legitimately hated him more than I ever could have. But seeing the unfamiliar scowl she wore made me see that it was time for a much-needed subject change. "So uh... that spell from earlier. How did you learn that one?"

The mare didn't even budge, remaining quiet for a while before she shook herself out of her trance, jumping back to the present. "I'm sorry, I zoned out for a second. What did you ask me?"

"I was asking you about that spell."

"What spell?" She asked obliviously.

"The spell from earlier, how did you learn it?"

"Oh." She replied despondently. She took a while to answer before finally speaking again. "Well, it's something I picked up from a former teacher."

"Pretty scary stuff. I didn't know you could control who's aware of what's going on in front of them." I said, thinking about how there could've been no witnesses to my potentially getting murdered.

"You'd have to have a level seven caster's license to be legal to pull that one off. And even then, you'd better have that license renewed every year."

"Level seven... caster?" I questioned.

The mare hummed unimpressed. "I see. Guards are typically trained to deal with threats levels one through four."

"They tell us to leave level fives to the specialists or those with the power to combat those kinds of threats." I answered.

"You do realize that to hold your position, you're required to use or counter against level five magic or higher."

I wouldn't suppose human weaponry counts as a counter until recently. "I guess, I mean I haven't gone against threats of that caliber."

"Queen Chrysalis is labeled as a level eight."

Well that just shut me up real quick. "...Huh?"

The blue mare shook her head. "Maybe you should consider some training before getting too deep into this."

I suppose that would be for the better. At least then I should be able to fare a little better than I did earlier this evening. "Who do you recommend?"

The mare paused for a moment, tapping her hoof against her chin until she came up with an idea. "Ah! I just so happen to have a friend who could help you in learning some of the basics of high-level magic combat."

I grew excited before realizing that this was a league I just happen to walk into recently. So I tempered my own expectations and that of hers. "Well to be honest, I am an non-magic species dealing with magical creatures on the daily."

"With a weak but loadable magic repertoire. Basic levitation can only get you so far, so you're gonna have to grind for your goods. And when it comes to pulling things out of beginners, I can't even begin to compare myself to him."

So she's putting me with a guy who can push me to a higher level, or at least high enough to where I can properly defend myself without the use of a gun. Fair enough, my gun should be a trump card in all honesty as opposed to being my go-to in this case. "So you know the guy?"

"Childhood friends. He works with the city council. Most of his afternoons are free, so you should be able to jump on board with some training sessions. What time are you usually off?"

"Six in the evening." I answered.

"Monday through Thursday should be a lock, Friday to Sunday are no-go's. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to open his study up to you. Pay him a visit tomorrow morning at eleven, I'll tell him to expect you."

"But shouldn't I be going after this guy?" I asked, holding the pictures of the politician.

"Self-defense first, pursuit second." She answered sternly, summoning up a card with a golden seal of Canterlot's emblem on the background. I read the name at the top of the card.

...And I couldn't help but laugh. "Alabaster Charm... I actually met this guy at a gathering for the Canterlot City Centennial."

"The one where you and Princess Cadance fell at odds with one another." She added.

I did do anything but sigh at that. "Yeah, that mess. But the address at the bottom is his mailing address right?"

"Indeed it is, at his estate."

"Okay. Well I'll take my off day and pay him a friendly social visit."

1190 Overlook Boulevard
High Class Row, Uptown Canterlot
Later that Night...

The blue mare walked in from her meeting with the human guard with a smile on her face. As she walked through the door, she was dancing happily with his picture in tow, an image of him taken during the party from the week prior. She swirled around, almost lost in her own rhythm before stopping to place the photo back on the wall she grabbed it from. As she safely placed the picture frame back on the wall, she gave the human in the picture a quick kiss before scurrying up the stairs.

With every three stairs was a photo of a fond memory. One was spent with another stallion who worked with her on her business ventures. Another was of her standing next to a member of the city council. The next one was her getting a cameo shot with Princess Celestia in the background. Then a picture she took at the Grand Galloping Gala, an improvised selfie with Blueblood being covered in cake and icing with her snickering at the forefront.

But the higher she went, the quicker her smile went away.

A picture of her standing next to the same member of the city council, but her face noticeably saddened. A picture of her leaning against her new office door, saddened. Her cutting a ribbon at her new headquarters, saddened.

Her pace started to speed up when she got to the top of the stairs, bypassing a few more photos.

A picture of her standing next to her fellow graduates from her high school, smiling so brightly in her cap and gown. A picture of her posing next to her loving aunt. A picture of her sitting happily with her friends.

Her eyes clenched shut as she walked past her bathroom.

A partially-torn family photo. A picture of her standing next to an older colt. A photo of her mother, plainly and subdued, yet outlined with beautiful flowers. A picture of her older brother standing next to her held by their loving mother, as plainly as she was but wearing the warmest of smiles.

She threw the door to her bedroom open, shutting it closed as she entered. She looked around her room, seeing the many torn pictures marked with lipstick and marker. Cuts from broken glass, scissors, and dinner knives designed many of the pictures around her room. Damaged frames appeared to be a frequent haphazard when it came to walking around. The only frame that seemed unscathed was one holding an old newspaper article with a headline reading as such.

SUICIDE!

Multi-Million Dollar Heiress Found Deceased In Home

With a lifeless dive, the young mare flopped into her bed face first. While her face was buried in her pillows, she immediately recounted the one question the human had asked of her.

"That spell from earlier, how did you learn it?"

Unknown Manor
Canterlot Heights
Four Years Ago...

In a closed off study room of a vastly large manor, a blue mare's jaw was held shut as she felt her body being repeatedly shoved forward. Her face planted on the ground as her flanks were raised high into the air. Her eyes, filled with both grief and questioning, stared ceaselessly forward as her world was rocked back and forth. The sound of flesh clashing against flesh filled the room, a pair of hindlegs stumbling to keep balance as hers were forced in place. Her tail pulled upon forcefully to disallow her from falling to the ground as the wooden floors creaked beneath her.

Arrhythmic gasps from above fell to her ears as his breath warmed the nape of her neck. Airy grunts with every thrust forward, he reached as deep as he could before the impending arrival of his apex. Without a second thought, he impelled every inch within her, shuddering as his moment came. He didn't moan. Just shook. Her head still lied on the ground, waiting for the moment he freed himself of her. While she waited, she could feel the foreign warmth fill her in places she never knew herself having. And as she felt him withdraw again, he gave one final push to solidify his claim.

The wood stopped creaking from the shifting of their weight long enough for the distant mare to hear the sounds of his unwanted gift dripping from within her onto the old hardwood floor. The soft pitter-patter of off-white trickling down her haunches and collecting into a growing puddle. The stallion, quietly satisfied with his time, dismounted her and released her from her bindings. She collapsed to the ground with a lumbering thud as the stallion circled around to see her face. Only seeing his hooves, she watched as her world started to blur with tears welling in her own eyes. The shame that overwhelmed her, the confusion, the dismay that introduced her to a voice that growled at her venomously.

"Pity... to see such beauty... squandered on you..."

Upon leaving, his horn stopped glowing and he unceremoniously exited the room, leaving her to mourn the loss of her innocence. The aura fell from around her and the birds sitting upon the window sill flew off while she stumbled forward, falling out of grief. She tried to question herself, but her pleas fell short to sobs.

It was from his words and his actions, she learned to never trust a stallion, not ever again.

Present day...

Blue Royal's eyes swelled with the same tears she felt herself give way to as the disgusting memory came back to remind her of the purpose for her motivation. She wiped her eyes, rested her head on her pillow once more. After a moment of reflection, she closed her eyes to hearken back to the memories that would often comfort her the most. Her hoof clasped at the pillows and sheets, covering her head with much of her bedding, hoping to soothe herself to slumber. With an infant-like mewl, she called out to her dreams.

"Mom... I need your help..."

Well, at least this past month was a lot more friendly. I still had rehearsals and junk, but I had a little more free time and drive to write this go around.

As for next chapter... Well, I'll be seeing you guys pretty sooner than usual. Thanks for reading thus far. Sorry if I don't seem to have much to say this time. But I do wish to see all of you next time, if you'd still prefer it.

Thank you for the five years of memories and comments, it's been fun writing for you guys, despite my not being the best at it.