Yesterday Outside The Haines Residence...

As the aging Martha said her goodbyes to her two sons, her husband saw them to their cars. Stanton checked the time on his phone and made a beeline for his car. His grin reached from ear to ear looking at his inbox. By the time he started the car, he was already with his other hand on the gear shift. Backing out quickly, he garnered a reaction from his older brother.

"Another one calling you up?"

The young athlete pumped his fist. "Man Alex, lemmie tell ya, I've been FIENDING to get my hands on this one."

The older brother walked up to the driver-side window and watched as his younger sibling pulled out his phone and open his Instagram app. From there, he went back to his inbox and pulled up the profile of an incredibly beautiful and shapely Asian woman. One picture she took had her displayed in a modest pajama shirt with a not-so-modest pair of boyshorts. She sat in front of a mirror, holding the phone over her shoulder for the enticing back-shot, displaying the curvaceous backside she had been gifted. The older brother ooh'd and nodded.

"Medical science major, freshman student straight from South Korea. Real big name thrown out to the football team, everybody's tried to nail her."

"And you got the green light?" Alex concluded.

"Who knew that a miraculous recovery from a torn ACL manages to get her attention. But she saw me walking first thing on Monday, been shooting messages back and forth with her since."

The older brother grew a bit skeptical. "Uh, you sure she's interested in you and not looking to research you for a science project?"

"Wait a tick." He said, going into his text message inbox and pulling up a message thread. Scrolling up, he located a picture of her sitting in front of a mirror with her hand over her bountiful chest, still wearing a black bra.

Alex was then convinced. "Oh yeah, she's throwing it out there. Either that's one hell of an invite or some convincing bait-and-switch tactics she's got going on."

The young athlete put his phone away, placing his hands back on the steering wheel. "Oh definitely going to take that invite. She asked me to come to her dorm today during visitation. And I think I got about another three hours before the end of that and the following room check."

"Well you better get on the road then." Alex said, backing away from the car.

"Yup! See ya the next time Nondis gets in trouble."

"Drive safe!" Alex said as his baby brother zoomed into the street and disappeared down the block.

Harold held his head, rubbing his temples. "That damn boy ain't gonna never stop playing with these girls emotions, is he?"

"Eh, let him be himself. I'd rather him be him than some weirdo taking his place." Alex replied with a sigh.

"Yeah." The dad droaned.

Martha called to her husband and oldest son from the front porch. "If you'd rather have your brother than some weirdo, then try getting my other son back so I can at least know what it feels like to be a whole family again."

Harold cringed with disgust. "Martha, you'd best stop that right now. Nondis ain't a normal kid, he never was. Doesn't mean you gotta backbite on him."

"I don't care, I want my baby back. I ain't okay with strangers taking the place of my son."

"Martha get in that house." The father ordered sternly to his wife.

Alex folded his arms, appearing uncomfortable. "Sheesh, she's still like this?"

"Been like that since we left that place. She kept saying Nondis was dead to her, but she just didn't want to see what he had turned into. I know it's a bit difficult seeing him the way that he is now, but I still want him to do well."

"The way that he is now?" Alex asked, confused on what his father meant.

The middle-aged man explained himself. "I mean with his line of work. He went from being locked in his room to adventuring the world, playing monster slayers on his XBox to slaying monsters for real. He's living an imaginary life, but it's real. Even those scars don't make a lick of sense."

Alex quietly thought to himself for a moment before finally speaking. "...Do you think he feels different?"

"Considering the weight loss, oh yeah." The father replied.

"I don't mean that, I mean the way he feels to interact with." Alex specified.

"He's a lot more cautious." Harold answered.

"Hardly that, he'll be the first idiot to jump his ass into danger. Can't wait to see what trouble he gets into next time." Alex mumbled. "But aside from that, you don't feel anything when you're around him?"

The middle-aged man replied. "Well I don't think I should feel any different. Whether he's fat or trimmed up, straight, gay, or what have you, He's still my boy, just like you and Stanton. I may have been hard on him and I may have my bouts, but I just wanted him to feel like he's one of the family, that he doesn't need to pull away so hard."

Alex smiled and leaned against his car. "I guess it's easy to have that mindset. But I swear Nondis is like a whole different state of being. It feels like whenever we're around him, he starts to have this warm glow about him. And instead of being a little nonchalant like he was way back when, he's really open to the idea of everything. I swear his eyes start getting brighter when he talks about us, almost has this weird glow about it. Even the other day when he was hurt by mom's words, I saw it then."

Harold stretched his arms and popped his neck while he spoke. "Yeah, I guess you'd notice that kind of stuff since you've been sneaking around that place long enough to watch him grow into what he is. I guess that's just the charisma."

"Yeah, he did have an entire city chanting his name at one point. I'm just glad he's doing well. I just wish mom would understand how hard he works to keep everyone safe. But the only thing she sees is the word 'military' and proceeds to go insane."

"You know what that's about." Harold said just before Alex's phone vibrated, receiving a text message from his own wife.

"Whoops, gotta go. Got my own 'princess' to rescue and whatnot."

"Hey, gotta do what a husband's gotta do." Harold suggested. "Now get on out of here before Vanessa chews you out again."

"Copy that." The eldest son said, getting into his car.

The father walked back into the house, hearing the noise of the engine turning over in the driveway before listening for it's eventual fading drone. The aging man went to his den and sat on the couch, pulling up the list of channels on his TV. He landed on ESPN, hoping to catch some of the sports highlights from the young NBA season, hoping his Rockets came to win the game against the tough Memphis Grizzlies. The man watched as his team started to blow out the defensive-minded team with a cheerful smile. As the game came to a commercial break, he saw an ad for Zales jewelers. Immediately, one thing popped up in his mind.

"Hey honey, you know where you stuck that old pocket watch your dad had cooped up in a drawer!?"

Present Day...

The changelings all watched as their queen took on the form of the human captain, walking up towards the three subdued guards with a toothy grin. The three guards started to tremble while the human reached out with a hand to softly place under their chin. "You all look so much like helpless foals." She said as she mocked them. "You poor twings, if only I could do anything to make you feel better and pwotwet you fwom those big bwad changewings."

In a snapping motion, the human fingers soon found agency against the windpipe of the guard she held. The guard gagged and flailed, weakly in a panic as the human's hand squeezed tighter against his windpipe. She then pulled her victim high up into the air as she stood on her feet. The stallion looked around while he was helpless to do anything but struggle. Her thumb mashed into his trachea while she expressed glee with her newfound strength and abilities.

"Had I known this was the freedom the humans had, I would've found myself a much better idea of replacing that tall bastard from the start. So little effort to take a life, but so much more satisfying to have such fine control." While the guard continued to flail around but with a much weaker effort, the queen giggled derisively. "Oh, do you want me to let you down? Okay then."

With a lot more effort, she cocked her arm back and shoved the guard's head into the stone brick floor of the dungeon hall. The guard then fell unconscious before she picked him up again, removed his helmet, and guffawed triumphantly. The unresponsive guard slouched while she stared at him. Seeking to enjoy herself some more, she proceeded to bash his head into the wall repeatedly as the two other guards looked on with horror. Their comrade was brutally being eviscerated of his brain while blood started to smear the walls. The crimson beneath her feet started to pool into the cracks of the bricks while the pink chunky features were either glued to the wall or dropping to the ground.

One of the other guards gagged as a cruel pop sounded with the final blow, indicating that the victim's skull had been completely compromised. The human-skinned queen dropped the virtually headless guard and turned her attention to the other two. She started to walk towards them before the sound of Thorax trying to suppress sickness distracted her. She looked over to him and frowned with disapproval while the changeling struggled to keep a strong constitution.

"What are you heaving for, grub!?"

Thorax tried to answer as reservedly as possible in an attempt to not vomit. "Shouldn't we be going now?"

The human frowned as she kicked the dead guard away from her. "Do you think they would show any weakness towards us while they execute our kind? Do you find it fair that they throw our lot over the battlements and watch them crash against the rocks below? And you think this is too much to give them?"

Thorax turned away as he argued his point. "I'm just saying we're already making a mess of things as it is. Maybe we should hurry along before they send in more patrols and we have an entire army trying to mow us down."

While Pharynx didn't share his brother's disgust, he did sympathize with his sense of urgency. "I know it's fun to play with our food, but he does have a point. We do need to get out of here before they start sending in shift management. At least we can go through the checkpoints as long as you keep up that disguise. Meanwhile we'll all go as the guards who came in."

The human rolled her eyes with a scoff. "Fine. We'll stop with the show. Just take the remaining two and feed on them before we head out. And when you do, keep in mind our code."

"Feed no more than your fellow changeling." The entire hall rang out in unison.

The queen looked at the disgraced commander and warned sternly. "As for you, you will wait until the others are done and kill them off. You've fed on the ponies too much for far too long."

Guto grimaced as he begrudgingly accepted her orders. "For the good of the hive, for my queen... I serve."

I woke up to the sound of my cellphone alarm going off, letting me know it was time to start getting ready for my daily routine. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, cleaned every orifice, and threw on some clothes for me to wear. I did the same thing as last time with my hair and ran right out the door. Breakfast was a little different this go around, they served me oatmeal with apple slices on the side. Princess Celestia seemed like she had little time to speak today, quickly walking in to grab her morning tea and walking out. Then again, seeing her walk around the place with an aid by her side even when she came into the dining hall was a dead giveaway that she had a hellish schedule.

Luna on the other hand came in a little groggy, but she remained true to herself. So instead of talking to Celestia for my meal, it was her younger sister who would make fun of my diet. "I suppose you'll be eating carrots and hay soon enough."

"I feel like that's my next step too. Only thing is we humans don't digest hay well enough for it to be effective to our diet. After all, we're not an inherently grazing species."

"And we ponies are?" She questioned with a quirked brow.

"Your fast food is literally comprised of hay." I replied with a deadpan.

"And you eat it as well." Luna stated.

"I don't eat hay stuff, my 'hay' fries are actually potatoes." I answered. "But seeing how Thanksgiving dinner was pretty much heavy on meats and starches, I guess she wanted to make sure I had a week of cleansing to regulate my intake."

"Well at least you only have to do it once a year." Luna replied.

"That's where you're wrong." I corrected. "There's also Christmas Day and Fourth of July."

Luna appeared confused after I spoke. "What's so special about the fourth of the month of July? Is it like an international eating day?"

"No. It's the day my country celebrates it's independence from another country called Great Britain. See, our country was once a colony comprised of thirteen states. And what had happened was that Britain just got out of a war with France and some of the native inhabitants over a land dispute. So as a result of the war, Britain decided to lean heavier taxes on the colonies, which made it hard to live on any income they would've had. So they drafted the Constitution and a Bill of Rights, and presented themselves to be a sovereign nation. Britain really wanted their taxes, our country said 'no', the King of Britain ordered troops to squash any resistance, a militia was formed, and thus started the war for independence."

"That sounds like a critical affair that could lead to some pretty ugly conflicts in the future. Any country vying for it's own independence is usually mired in some internal conflict, some extreme, others not so much." Luna said as she stirred her tea. "So how did it end?"

"Success, with France's help of course."

Luna tapped her spoon on the rim of her cup lightly before taking a drink of her beverage. "This 'France' country seems to really be at odds with Britain."

"Ooh, for centuries even." I answered with a groan. "I'm sorry, that's a whole other story I'm just not gonna get into. But to draw back to the topic at hand, the document proclaiming independence was said to have been declared two days earlier, but congress passed the final draft on the fourth. From there, I guess it kinda stuck. Nowadays, we celebrate it with fireworks, barbecue, beer, and a day out on the beach for some."

Luna groaned with displeasure. "And you're going to be going to your world for that particular event?"

"Why, you wanna come with?" I asked.

"If I'm even able to move." Luna replied. "For some odd reason, diplomats from other countries really like to ramp up negotiations for that time of the year."

"Oh yeah, and I also remembered the whole 'estrus' thing that you ponies got going on around that time."

"Precisely!" Luna exclaimed. "And it's not like those quenching spells do anything for me. I tried them this past season, and all it did was delay the worst side effects for an entire month, even tripling my cycle. And that in turn makes it harder to focus on my dream-walking duties. I even have to wander into some young stallions' dreams and quietly give a nudge in the direction of enticing some arousal."

"And we're discussing this and why?" I inquired quietly.

The lunar princess blushed brightly as she realized what all she confessed to me. "Oh... I suppose that is a topic that would stir some controversy."

"Yeah. It would do that." I said before she slammed her teacup on the table with excitement.

"Then you must do what you must to assist us in removing that awful law, post haste!"

"Let me guess..." I began. "You want me to stick around so you can use me as your relief boy?"

Luna grinned as she hid behind her teacup again. "I wouldn't put it as crudely as that. Think of it as you being my escort on a wonderful night out."

...Uh oh. "Was that an invitation to a date?"

"Well it isn't an invitation as long as the Approval Process Law still exists." Luna said with a playful scoff. "Tis a shame that you had eyes for Twilight. I would've done much more to keep you around. I personally think she gave in too easily."

"I have a feeling your sister will kill me if we even try to do something like that." I stated while getting up from my seat. "I guess that's a good reason why she tells me not to find my way into your personal chambers."

The princess of the night then rolled her eyes and muttered in a low voice. "She's such a prude. No wonder why her room smells like estrus once every week."

Damn, put your own sister out in front street like that? "Oh boy, I think that's my cue."

Luna didn't care whether or not I was gathering my stuff and leaving the room, she still continued to speak. "Seriously, I at least know how to relieve myself. She'll just sit in her own musk and try to coat it with all the perfume on her nightstand. I'm starting to think she's fantasizing about the moment she can sink her fangs into some unsuspecting stallion... or even a human. It wouldn't surprise me if she found an opportunity to get a round in with Alex since they meet up so often."

And then I found myself busy plugging my ears shut while leaving the room on Luna's note. "I can't hear you. ♫La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.♪"

Meanwhile in the Lower Halls of the Castle...

The sound of armor rattling though the halls as a small party of guards marched forward. In their possession were three changeling prisoners, quietly following the directions of their captors. As they arrived at the final checkpoint, the watch unit glanced over the side and opened the check-in logbook. As one of the watchers stepped out of their office to inspect the prisoners, he snickered as he shoved one of the prisoners over.

"At last, more of you lot are getting the good-old yanking. Long overdue, I'll say."

The other guards giggled in their office as they sat securely in place, pointing to the three prisoners and jeering them on. Meanwhile the disguised party shifted their eyes towards the office with a subtle grimace. The party leader then spoke out. "Yes, they'll get what's due for them. So let's get a move-on."

The inspector snickered as he remained in place, still pointing at the guard. "Well as much as we all know these bastards deserve a good hang, protocol established by Princess Cadance denies us the right to overlook an exit without the proper clearance process."

The leader looked motionless as he replied in turn. "Alright. Let's hurry it up so we can get these boys to the judge."

While the disguised guards tried to keep a cool face, one could easily imagine the beads of sweat starting to form underneath their armor. The inspector proceeded with his list of coded dialog. "It is a beautiful day outside."

"It is. Though it's better to have an umbrella." The squad leader replied.

The watch guard nodded quietly as he continued. "Surely a hawk can see much."

"But a sparrow sees the value of humility." The disguised changeling replied, matching each response correctly.

The watch guard then rolled his eyes and moaned under his breath. "Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake..."

"Clap your hooves and do a little shake." Said a distinctive voice, causing some of the other guards to snap up from their slouching state. Almost on cue, the captain of the guard approached the checkpoint appearing impatient. "Seriously, if you're going to keep these guys from doing what needs to be done, you might as well tell the changelings to kill themselves."

The watch guard salute to the human. "Sir, I was just following protocol."

"These guys are on their way to administer justice to these criminals and you're sitting here chanting out kids rhymes. Tell me what I'm supposed to do with myself."

The guard grew nervous as his performance was brought into question by his human superior. "I-I-I swear it-it was j-just─"

The captain turned his attention to the security detail and pointed them down the hall. "Let's get a move-on boys, justice doesn't dispense itself."

As the group quickly marched past the final checkpoint into the castle halls, the captain looked at the group of watchers and shook his head. "Watch, fall in here!" The group of stallions did as they were instructed and stood in a single row devoid of any imperfections. The human still appeared displeased. "You boys are awfully slacking, ain't ya?"

"Sorry, sir. We'll do better to maintain the proud image of the E.U.P.'s standard." The squad leader declared as the others saluted in response.

"And I mean really, nursery rhymes? Those are your passwords?" The human questioned. "In my world, passwords are a lot more complex than the crap you pull. As far as I'm aware of, those same passwords have been in place for over three years now, the nursery rhyme being a recent add-on."

"I'm sorry, sir. These were the protocols mandated by both Princess Cadance and Princess Twilight Sparkle."

The captain turned his back to the squad, shaking his head with more disapproval. "You boys are beyond slacking, I should punish you by applying demerits to your reports."

All the guards present in line lowered their heads in disgrace while the squad leader saluted again. "Sir, our performance was sub-par and we shall do everything to correct ourselves and fulfill our assignments to the best of our abilities. There are no excuses for our sloppiness."

"Half-right, face!" Each of the stallions heeded the captain's instructions, not saying a word as they knew what was next. "Front-leaning rest position, move!" Immediately, the squad dropped to the ground and awaited further orders. The human then paced back and forth as he spoke. "Sloppiness. That's the one thing I don't appreciate seeing when I walk by. To think all of you boys are in charge of our prison security makes me sick. Our nation deserves better conduct than that you've just previously displayed. So for that, I want two-hundred from each one of you. I will watch you, and you will go on my say. DOWN!" The bodies of the ponies quickly fell until they hovered just mere inches from the ground. "UP!"

Snapping back up to their resting position, they called out in unison. "ONE!"

The captain continued to call out his commands as he kept an eye for the door behind the distracted squad. Quietly, the small army of changelings snuck through the door and gathered behind the small squad. And as time progressed, the guards started to feel weak from their physical exertion. The sweat fell from their brows and stung in their eyes, making their vision slightly more impaired while the only thing they could think about was how bad their forelegs were aching. And while the numbers climbed, so did the time the human required for the squad to strain themselves on their downswing, all while bidding for his time.

The squad of stallions eventually started breaking down as they looked to their stern captain and awaited more orders. "DOWN!" The human instructed while he paced back and forth again, seeing the state of the fatigued watchers. "You know, I would've figured you guys would've had a lot more humility in you, a whole lot more. To even say that makes me feel even more disappointed in you. Sloppy, sorry, corrupt, that's what I see out of guards like you every single day, a lack of discipline. It's things like that, the hubris you have, that will end up costing you your life."

He then lowered himself into the ear of the squad leader and whispered.

"Long. Overdue."

As soon as he removed himself, he flicked his wrist and every changeling standing immediately behind the squad pounced on the weakened squad, biting on them and injecting copious amounts of venom into their bodies. Neither one of them could do anything, even as one reached out for the office door to the alarm across the window, but that wish soon subsided as did his own ability to resist. The captain looked back towards the halls ahead leading the changeling horde to freedom.

"This is such a fun face to wear. I should do it more often." The disguised changeling queen then turned back to her drones with an evil grin and ordered in a sing-song voice. "Don't forget to hide the bodies, leave no trace of our escape, and eliminate any onlookers."

The disguised captain started walking forward as Guto questioned her from behind. "Where are you going now?"

"Me? Nowhere special." The queen answered quietly. "I'm just going to pay my impostor an intimate visit."

Thirty Minutes Later...

Walking towards my room, I had my phone in hand. Shortly after my morning briefing, I had gotten a notification that my battery was low. And instead of charging my phone while I was asleep, I was just so tired that I flopped out on my bed and got comfortable. I didn't even think to charge up while I was getting through my morning routine, it would've given me a little more than twenty-percent. But I didn't think to do either of those things, so I needed to snag my charger from the nightstand and hoped I wasn't stationed outside somewhere without a power outlet within viewing distance. To prevent my phone from dying, I turned on my powersaver options and closed every app Discord pulled up when I was sleeping in hopes that my battery wouldn't bleed out.

You'd think for the Lord of Chaos should be able to somehow juice a phone while he's messing around on it, especially if he's using it while inside the phone, wandering onto the internet to find out more information about my world out of sheer curiosity, and giving himself and a certain pair of pony siblings their own social media accounts.

I know he'll come across this and talk shit about it later. I wonder if there's still cum on my face.

Putting my thoughts on the draconequus aside, I opened the door to my room and turned a corner to find an unusual and uncanny surprise. Apparently I was already in my room, going through my drawers and completely ignoring the charger on the top of the nightstand. For a split second, the other me continued to rummage through my stuff before seeing me standing here in the doorway. And like a deer in headlights, he stared back frozen in place while I blinked silently. The other me slowly stood up straight before I could make the first move. I pointed at the other me and asked.

"Who are you?" "Who are you?"

The two of us had the same exact posture and pointed to one another, our voices having the same pitch fluctuations, it was like I was talking into a mirror, into a mic, with a speaker throwing my own voice back at me. I raised my right arm, as did he with his left. My legs shuffled for a second to put my left forward, he matched with his own right. So I quietly thought to myself what maneuvers this other me might not know and resorted to the one thing I felt was my most awkward trait: dancing.

The first dance I did was the one I saw in a Vine, something called the 'lip gloss' dance. As per usual, I still came off as stiff and so did the other me. And then I tried to do a janky-ass two-step, much to little surprise with the false me matching my every move. So I stopped and thought of a quick maneuver I could use to throw off my impostor. I held my arms out in front of me, watching the other do the same. And in one quick move, I dabbed.

The other me matched me mirror-wise. But what I knew was that consecutive attempts of the maneuver would inevitably leave one exposed to a sudden body blow to the solar plexus. My gamble was to pull off a few of these in rapid succession, arm in face and over the eyes to ensure my impostor would be vulnerable to my attack. So I slowly raised my arms again and timed inside myself when I would unleash the flurry.

Ready... set... DAB!

The two of us matched for a second before I noticed the other me taking the opportunity to change his approach and I stopped... only to find a Glock being pointed back in my face. That was the moment I had finally taken into consideration that this person who was wearing my face had a completely different mind with my ideas locked down like it was scripture. From there on, I had to play it careful because I knew there would be no do-overs if I fucked up. Things were a little more real this go around.

"You know, this is probably the second time I've pointed a gun pointed at my own head." I said slowly raising my hands in the air.

"I'm sure of it. Maybe you should seek counseling for this kind of stuff." Fake me replied.

I looked at him with a nervous shrug. "No doubt about it, I've been a wreck."

The impostor held the gun towards my head, walking up to me slowly as he spoke. "You know what you also need to do? Take a break today, just stay in here for a bit. An hour or two, maybe a day, a week... you know, however long it takes for decomposition to set in."

While I couldn't help but to feel my heart pounding in my chest and my hand become unsteady, I tried to think of any way I could get myself out of the current circumstances, by any means. "You know, I'm not sure if you know how those things work."

With a confident step forward, the gun barrel honed directly towards my head to indicate the doppelganger was ready to put me in an early grave. "Finger on trigger, squeeze to sleep?"

I took a quick breath, realizing that whoever was impersonating me was somewhat knowledgeable of human weaponry. But before I felt myself resign to a complete panic, I took another look at the gun. As I looked closer, I felt a bit of relief in my situation. I then remembered a crucial detail about the gun. It was, of course, the one I hid under my pillow every night. However, I was not an avid fan of sleeping with a fully loaded firearm in my pillow. The first round I installed was also a blank round to give a warning shot to any intruders. It would at least startle them enough to back off and notify any guards around the area to come investigate the sound. Of course that would be the only round that was chambered, anything else would be self-defense. And the clip I would keep on the nightstand taped to the inside of the lamp shade.

And looking at the gun, I knew then that the clip was still where it was because it was pointed at me with only that blank round in the chamber for ammunition. So I tried to play my hand. "Hey quick question, you know to use that, right?"

"I'm sure you'll find out, won't you?"

I'm certain that I will. "Well yeah, you just turned the safety off, but you didn't chamber any rounds. See, what you do is pull the slide on the top back and you load it up and then you pull the trigger and you got a quick kill."

"Is that so?" The impostor questioned, lowering the weapon to look at it for a second before following what little instructions I offered. And like clockwork, the slide was pulled back and the blank was completely removed from the equation, leaving them with an empty gun and giving me a stronger chance to take advantage of the situation. And as they pulled the trigger, the slide fell back to indicate the gun was completely empty and in need of a reload.

I ran forward and made the attempt to tackle the doppelganger. As I grabbed on to them and shoved them onto the bed, I started to quickly drive my fist into whatever I could get in contact with. The fake me held up his arms to defend himself from the blows I was giving him. Using one free hand, he tried to fight back with a punch to my shoulder, but I connected with one solid lick to the chest. Using his other hand, he locked my arm in place while he tried to knee me in my lower abdomen, all attempts coming up in failure. I used my free arm to try and fight for the gun, but the other me came out with a headbutt to back me off.

Afterwards, he used the empty pistol to wedge a blow to the side of my neck, causing me to stumble back, knocking the lamp over from the nightstand and send it tumbling to the floor. And as the light fixture shattered, the shade rolled until the heaviest side was laid onto the ground, revealing the 9-round clip within. The fake me shrieked triumphantly as he reached out for the clip.

Right then, my body registered an unusual response and I felt myself hauling ass towards the door. Yanking the door open, I could already hear the sound of the fake me fumbling with the gun and the clip, all while chasing after me. I quickly booked right and made a quick turn left down one of the other halls, hoping I could shake them off. But they were hot on my trail by a good fifteen feet, even loading the gun successfully before I looked down to the pendent around my neck, which was now glowing.

As soon as I smacked against the wall, a secret passageway was introduced to me, giving me an avenue of escape. But as I was slipping through, I heard the familiar pops of the Glock behind me, the crack of a bullet smacking against the solid quartz columns beside me. I felt something graze into my upper left arm, followed by a slight stinging sensation. I lunged forward and dove into the secret passageway. Running forward, I glanced back to see the bricks reformulate into a wall. From there I could hear the banging against the wall, followed by a shot to try and pierce the solid stone bricks. To my fortune, nothing came through as I was left clenching my chest for air.

Running for your life has a strange way of pulling energy from places you didn't have and leaving you with a lot of false vitality. I checked myself to see if I had gotten hit anywhere. I only saw the one on my left arm and it didn't hit any bone, but it was a deep gash that took a small chunk of my bicep.

That's gonna hurt like hell when the adrenaline wears off.

I leaned against the wall as I overheard the voices from outside. "Captain, what's going on?"

"An impostor has taken my image for his on and tried to take my life in the process!" Fake me replied. "If you run into the fake me, your orders are to kill on sight!"

"Sir, yes sir!"

Right then and there, my arm was starting to feel the pain throb through it, leaving me wincing in discomfort. I stayed a little longer, trying to nurse my wound as I heard the fake me speak again. This time, it was much softer than the command he just gave out. "Pharynx, I want you to patrol these halls. And if you find him, you capture him. Be sure to do it before these other guards catch wind of his location. I want him alive... preferably."

"And if he refuses to come quietly?"

"I don't care if you have to resort to chewing him up and regurgitating him later, I want the human I summoned. Having the human work for us would mean the other humans would work for us also, if they valued his freedom and his life."

Another voice chimed out to the fake me. "Hey, I don't mean to assert so much, sir, but don't you think we're getting way off track here? I thought we were supposed to be escaping."

"We ARE, and we're taking what's rightfully ours! And we summoned him, so he is ours to utilize at will!"

Guess that answers my question of what the hell's going on. I pulled out my phone and looked to my battery, seeing I had no chance of making any phone calls without it dying on me. I had to send a text message to anyone who'd read it. So I sent out a quick message to Shining Armor.

Within the highly-secluded room hosting the multiple portals leading to the human world, one of the passages started to give off a soft glow before a hand reached through the mirror's surface. The portal broke forth a mature human male, who stumbled forward with his eyes closed trying to get a feel for the ground he was stepping on. The man appeared slightly disoriented as the rest of his body transitioned through. For a second, he was left holding his head before he could focus again.

"Ugh, how the hell do these kids keep doing this without getting sick?"

Reaching into his pockets, he pulled out two items. The first thing he pulled out was his phone, the second being a golden antique pocket watch. Pressing the button at the top, he noted the time on the device and confirmed that it was in sync with the clock on his phone. He then put the antique away and ran his fingers across his phone's screen to pull up a photo of the castle map.

"Alright, now if I wanted to visit the soldier's quarters, I'd have to go to the barracks."

Also in the Meantime...

The sound of a padlock being slammed shut against chains was among the many noises coming from the doors leading towards the barracks. Behind the sealed doors were the sounds of several guards trapped inside trying to batter their way out. The disguised guards standing outside the doors snickered as one other disguised guard donning more armor than the others.

"That should cover our escape." A disguised Guto announced. "The moment we go flying, they won't have the numbers to drop us out of the sky. No reinforcements, no extra problems for us."

"But what about the humans?" Thorax asked, still donning the first disguised he used to get in the prison from the day prior.

Guto scoffed. "That's the last thing I wanna hear about."

"You may not want to hear about it, but that doesn't change the fact that the problem's still there. You might as well be asking for the worst to happen." Thorax argued.

Guto rolled his eyes dismissively. "Oh I forgot you got occupied with the cleanup, so you didn't really get a chance to get the info on that. Apparently the Queen's got something in mind for him. She's gone to tie up some loose ends."

"What's that supposed to mean exactly?" Thorax questioned.

"That means we'll be the ones with our own human regiment. And if those other humans want to see their fellow human alive, they'll do exactly what she tells them to."

"And what if the ponies want to help with getting him back? You don't just expect the humans to go along with mom's demands."

Guto froze in place, scowling away from the other changeling. "Well... aren't you the cutest thing since baby unicorns."

Thorax grew confused and tiled his head at the former commander's words. "What?"

Without warning, Guto lunged at the young changeling prince and landed a decisive blow to Thorax's head, causing him to fall over and cower into a defensive posture. Before the changeling prince could plead for his health, Guto started landing blows with each word he spoke. "Don't. You. Ever. Come. With. That. Weak. Ass. Mommy. Dearest. Bullshit!" The unfortunate changeling was so badly battered that he even dropped his disguise after the second hit, revealing his true self as the other blows fell all over his body. The other changelings in the vicinity laughed and cheered as the former commander called out to them. "No moment of weakness! We are the changeling hive and we are to be feared! Any weakness will be seen as an exploit. And there will be no room for exploits, especially from a weak, mewling, pureblood such as this trash. The hive deserves better, and we will perform that way!"

Each disguised guard cheered happily as an unsuspecting duo of guards walked past, thinking the event was simply a small squad cheering their leader on for beating a changeling into submission. They shrugged it off and walked past without suspecting much of anything.

Meanwhile, a mildly wounded Thorax laid on the ground for a while longer as Guto stood over him, holding his head as he whispered in his ear. "You can't fuck me into being nice to you. If I wanted that, I could just fuck you right now like the passive drone you are. But considering what plans I have in mind, I'll just use you to tease myself and wait until we get back home. At least your little sister Ocellus could make me a happy king."

As soon as those words left Guto's maw, Thorax found the strength to stand up on his own, pushing through his injuries to stare back at the changeling with a deep-seeded hatred for him. Glancing downward, Thorax could see the changeling commander smiling greedily, not even trying to hide the growing length between his hind legs.

"Yeah, that's right. That's the mean I wanna see on your face for the rest of the day. And when we get back home, I'm gonna enjoy putting the mean in your baby sister, I'm gonna breed her, and we're gonna have a hive of our own, and it's gonna be filled with warriors ready to properly cut Equestria down to size. And then I'll finish off where your precious 'queen' couldn't while you get to be my little worker drone. And if I'm merciful, I may even let you watch... or clean me off."

"When this is all over..." Thorax began with a violent hiss. "I'm gonna make sure you fail at everything you do. I will stop you."

The disguised Guto levitated a spear against the prince's neck and drove it's tip slightly against his trachea. As he held the changeling prince in submission, he hopped on his back as if to mock him, and even allow his motted stallionhood to flex against the changeling's stomach. "Too bad you won't, as weak as you are. But I'm glad you're one of us again."

Trying not to look back, Thorax tried not to compromise his health or his pride by giving the former commander the attention he throbbed over. "I'll never be a monster like you, Guto."

The former commander bit his lip and smiled. "It's a shame really. All of Pupa's good mating features happens to be dropped on to her older brother, now that I'm looking at it. Pity, I so would've loved to see her walk away one last time. Guess you'll have to do for now. So go on ahead, model for me."

With the spear against his throat gone, Thorax bucked Guto off of him, put back up his disguise and trotted down the hall angry at the fallen commander and his taunts. The onlooking group of 'guards' stared as the disgraced commander stared at the prince's departure with suppressed desire and turgid ambitions. Guto turned away from his bullying victim and towards his party.

"Stick with me, boys, and I promise you'll have more than a failing queen for your future. The hive will be reborn, and it will be a hive filled with ambition, with strength, and it will be more powerful than any Equestrian force. The hive can do better, and I promise it will be better."

"SIR!" The squad called out unanimously, saluting the changeling commander.

Guto cleared his throat as he looked back to see Thorax completely out of view. "Can't stop what's already in progress."

An hour went by since I was trapped here in the secret passageways of the castle. Even as I have tried to surface out, there have been several guards told to keep a lookout for an injured doppelganger of me. And judging from the mumblings, it appears that very few are looking to keep me alive for very long.

The thing about guards and citizens in Canterlot is that they have a truly deep disdain for changelings. And it's well-understood why when you think about what all has happened to them in the past five years or so. Between two invasions and well-over two hundred missing family members, friends, acquaintances, fellow citizens, most would celebrate a changeling body being paraded up and down the streets. And what I saw that one other morning over a week ago clearly indicated that their hatred for changelings will lead to the nonchalance of aftercare.

Translation: If I'm seen, I will be killed on spot.

Of course, they'll come to realize that they didn't kill a changeling shortly after and will face some regret and intense reprimand should it occur, but I don't want to put my family in a position where mom would feel more than justified to call them animals. Hell, at that point it would make perfect sense to me if Alex and Stanton were to suddenly change their outlook on Equestria in general. It would leave a lot of emotional scars and political dissonance between our respective worlds.

But for right now, my main concern is to find some way to keep myself alive and ignore the intense throbbing pain in my left arm. My phone's battery bit the dust just recently and it doesn't seem to be anything left I could do to send out any messages pertaining to my well-being. I couldn't do much but to wait beside the hidden access point by the doors to the royal throne room.

If I can also add, I have ran into a shit ton of spiders throughout my being stuck in these really small passageways, I've got more cobwebs than hair at this point and I've probably got a few entire nests hiding somewhere on my scalp. And some of the most nightmarish shit I had to deal with was the fact that there were so many small ones crawling all over my legs and arms. Try not to be human and don't scream while all of that happens because I'm pretty damn sure humans scream at that shit. Hell, I'm just trying to avoid the small fuckers from getting in the wound in my arm.

Guess I'm gonna have to call in a favor with Princess Luna tonight and have her monitor my dreams for a while.

The sound of the knocking had me feel somewhat elated, but also cautious because of the conversation the other 'me' had earlier. As far as I'm aware, they know I'm in here. So I had to knock back to indicate that I was still inside, not daring to speak until I heard someone's voice I distinctively recognized.

And to my fortune, it was exactly who I called out for. "Hey, are you still in there?" Shining questioned through the wall.

"Did you come alone?" I asked.

"Are we ever alone with these phones, really?"

That was probably the best answer I would've never assumed him saying. I raised the pendant up to the facade and allowed it to move a few bricks where I could see Shining standing across from me. "Sorry if it looks like I'm just staking out, the last orders the fake me issued out was that I was to be killed on sight. But they did have a little conversation with someone else and made a specified order that I'd be captured before anyone else could see me."

"That's a bit counter-intuitive." Shining replied, looking dumbfounded.

"It isn't when you consider that there's only one of them walking amongst the guards. And neither of them would even know if I was here or not unless they have access to a phone."

"Some changelings can read minds and replicate the memories and actions of others. Doesn't mean they can get in on short-term information."

"That or any classified intel."

Shining smirked as he asked me a question for insurance. "Real quick, I need to verify one thing. Who are you meeting up with tomorrow?"

I also realized what this could mean for me in terms of authenticating myself. So I gave out a specific yet vague answer. "That picture on Twitter should answer that question for you."

The young prince nodded with approval. "Smart man. You know that we could be eavesdropped on so you avoid any names, leaving everything to code or first-hoof knowledge."

"In speaking of eavesdropping, I did hear the word 'escaping' the moment I barely escaped. That pretty much tells me that whoever's wearing my face was probably locked in the dungeons below." I added.

"That's not good. There's almost a hundred changelings stashed in the dungeons from all those previous operations, possibly more. If all of them escaped, then they could be trying to weaken our security." Shining elaborated.

"No doubt about it if one of them's wearing my face giving out orders. Probably gave a few patrols the day off. How's the halls looking like?" I asked.

"Oddly light." He answered. "Anyone could get in or out of the castle if they wanted to."

"Great, we're gonna have to clean up behind all of this bullshit."

"Are you injured in any way?"

"Yeah, I got shot in the arm. Oh I forgot to mention that the other me has a gun and knows how to use it a little."

"That's not good." Shining said with an eye-roll. "So there's a changeling walking around here with a gun. How'd they get it?"

"I just walked into my room to find them going through my shit. I don't know what all they were looking for, but they got the main difference maker in the argument. They knew exactly where to hit me, all my weak spots, how to jab, knee certain areas, whoever or whatever it is taking my place is doing a very passable job in being a human. It took days for Celestia to even come to terms with wearing a pair of panties each time she went out in my world, it's shouldn't take some random changeling fifteen seconds to learn how to use a gun."

"And it took me a week to learn how to use one, and that doesn't account for training to aim properly. If they hit you, then they must have had some access to your memories at one point."

"Access to my memories? But who the hell would..." My face soured as I could feel my stomach climb up my throat. "...Ooohhhh sssshit!" I groaned worriedly.

"What?" Shining asked.

"The very last thing to have any access to my mind or had any capability to control it was, guess who?"

"Chrysalis... Fuck! We're in trouble." Shining replied, knowing exactly what chaos could ensue if she were to maintain my image. "What if someone from your world pays a visit and she's the first thing they see?"

"Oh please don't put that shit in my head right now." I said, almost ripping the pendant off of my neck and holding it to the wall. As the bricks subsided, I stepped out and dusted myself off, caring less for the potential spiders nests in my hair. "Where to?"

"I think the first thing we have to do is clear your name. As long as you have that pendant, it should be easy to negotiate with the others into believing us. It's enchanted with Celestia's magic, so hold it in the air and your leverage is pretty substantial. Also the wound on your arm would be pretty telling that you aren't in some disguise. Those kind of wounds, if agitated, won't allow for a changeling to keep their appearances."

"Yeah, but what if we don't have enough forces here in the halls to handle over a hundred changelings?" I inquired.

"You have some of the weapons from the Mt. Arimaspi assignment stashed at the barracks in the officers' quarters. They were recovered after you got in on the train, along with all the treasure you guys collected. We should probably go there to start with a fighting chance."

"And if the changelings are all disguised as guards?"

"Business as usual. Remember, Chrysalis is wearing your face so turnabout is fair play here. If anyone comes up from behind with the intention of getting the drop on us, I can take care of them. You just keep making your way to the barracks and get those weapons for the both of us."

"Sounds like a plan."

As the groups of disguised changelings wandered about the halls to imitate the sight of a busy barracks corridor, the changeling queen maintained her image as the captain of the royal guard, giving out various orders with the confidence of her assured victory. Guto stood beside her as if he was nothing short of a proud underling serving his master.

"How long before the process finishes?" The faux captain asked to the former commander.

"The second layer of runes will be done any minute now. From there, we should easily be able to feed on the love of every mare and stallion in these barracks. We'll be so powerful that no mere pony will be able to stop us." Guto proclaimed.

"At least we'll be getting to see what a human with unbridled power will look like. Had I known it would've been this easy, I would've swapped his place sooner. I would've even had a chance to drink on the love of that mangy purple pony princess and use her power for my own!" The changeling queen then gave out a long sigh of victory. "Hindsight is cruel, but evolution is far more beautiful."

"Are you going to be summoning more humans?" Guto questioned.

"Have you seen what six of them can do to an entire changeling army? I will summon at least ten! And then when we get the one we summoned first, we'll use him to lead my new slave guard forward. And with their power, we will crush Equestria under our hooves for the rest of time itself!"

"What about using the other five they have, wasn't that originally apart of your plan?"

The changeling queen wiped her nails against her chest, checking if they were clean. "The choice will be minimal for them. If they value the life of the humans we possess, they'll join us for their sake. And if not, then they will be forced to do battle with the one they will seek to save. The human resistance will falter from the moment they see his face."

Guto turned around, initially to hide his scowl of disapproval, but soon found surprise overriding his senses. "Well you might want to look alive, here comes one of the humans now."

Chrysalis quickly turned back to see a more mature human approaching her. "My, well aren't you a new face." She said to herself before something in her mind clicked, causing her to realize who the oncoming human was. She cleared her throat and quickly adjusted herself to greet the older man.

"Nondis! Ugh, thank goodness I finally got around to you. This place is so goddamn huge."

Chrysalis maintained the persona of the very captain she appropriated her shape from. "Well dad, it's been a while."

Harold scoffed jokingly as he replied. "I wouldn't call two days 'a while', but it's good to see you son."

"So what brings you here?" The fake Nondis questioned. "Didn't think you'd be running back over here so soon after your last visit."

"Well I just wanted to pay you a visit. Is there something wrong with seeing you again or is it you were in the middle of something?"

The disguised changeling queen walked up to the human, placing an arm around his shoulders. "Nah, nothing's more important than looking out for family. Besides, we're almost done here so I think I could spare some time to talk to you."

Harold looked at the busy hall and the lock on the door as some runes were being drawn on the doorway and walls leading to the inside of the barracks. "Are you sure, cause it looks like you guys are in the middle of conjuring up something."

"It's just a security feature, dad. We've had a little bit of an incident today dealing with some doppelgangers. So we gathered them all in there and locked the door. Now we're putting some runes down to keep them from casting a bunch of spells to escape."

The middle-aged man appeared to be initially uncomfortable with the idea of his son perpetrating spells and magic, but held his peace. "I suppose you gotta do what works."

"Oh yeah. Especially dealing with a bunch of impostors and criminals." Chrysalis replied.

Harold started to reach in his pocket to pull out his phone. As he checked the time, he saw he had two unanswered phone call from his wife. The man kissed his teeth and blew from the side of his mouth knowing his wife didn't like to be ignored when she called him. He politely replied with a text message to let her know he was with their son. "Yeah, I just missed a few calls from your mom."

"A call?" The changeling queen questioned herself before snapping back into her character. "Oh really, what was she trying to say?"

Harold glanced back at him appearing a little puzzled over his reaction, not so much that there was one but rather the nature of it. He knew things between the two were frayed right now and thought it surprising to see him act so casually. "Huh, I guess you must've made up in your mind to forgive her."

The changeling queen inwardly jumped at the idea of the character she played having such a personal issue. Being completely unknowing of the situation, she tried to sidestep the issue and keep her cool. "Yeah, forgive and forget, right? I mean some things were said, but it's all right."

The man nodded to himself quietly. But before he could say anything else, he looked down to the queen's waist and saw the gun in her pants under the waistband. "I've never known you for carrying a weapon so openly."

"Well we are in the middle of an operation. So it's better to make sure to be safe than sorry, or you know in my case, better safe than dead, right?" The fake captain joked with a chortle.

The middle-aged man seemed far from amused. "Now son, life and death ain't no laughing matter, especially when it comes to you."

The queen scoffed in the captain's tone. "After a while, when you start to expect the worst, it's better to live each day laughing. I mean, I can't just stay depressed forever. I know that granddad didn't try to stay sad either, even when he struggled with his issues. So you know, I decided to live my life and live it to the fullest. Even if things don't go as planned, at least I have my life to hold on to. And that's what matters most, right?"

Harold felt his phone vibrate in his pocket as soon as his 'son' stopped speaking. He pulled out his phone and pulled up the text he just got. And it wasn't from his wife.

The older man quietly thought to himself as he then stared at the gun hidden in the other's waistband. "So... Any reason why your phone don't work?"

The changeling's eyes snapped open before they felt around their pockets for show. After realizing the item that she sought out was in the real captain's possession, she weaved a quick lie. "Oh, yeah I kinda lost it in the fight this morning. Fake me had tossed it out before I could call for help."

At that point, Harold's lines of questions started to form in his head, similar to how he would ask his real son. "And you didn't think to find your charger after you had gotten your gun?"

"I was in hot pursuit. I couldn't let him get away."

One of the 'guards', namely Guto, stepped up to intervene. "Captain, the runes are complete. We need your permission to activate the spell."

Harold didn't allow the subject change to hinder him from his line of questioning. "And if you were attacked, then why didn't you defend yourself?"

"I did!" The changeling queen answered before losing her patience with the human. "Dad, look, I got some business to take care of real quick, so give me a minute and I'll be right back to you."

"I mean why write me off now? I'm asking you a question."

"Dad, I have a job to do."

The middle-aged man nodded slowly with a light chuckle. "Oh, so now that we're talking about your phone, you wanna get to work. But in all honesty you could've told me to hold off for a while and wait somewhere or escorted me someplace instead of telling me that whatever you were doing initially was unimportant."

"I said 'I thought I could spare some time.' I didn't promise to take the time away for you."

"And I quote: 'Nothing's more important than looking out for family.' That's what you told me, right?"

"Dad, can you just wait for one second?"

Harold then muttered under his breath. "Yeah, now that I thought about it, you would've cuss me out from the moment I show up if something was going on."

"You're about to make me cuss you out now."

The middle-aged man, finally confirming the suspicions that bloomed from the text message, realized the situation he was in. "...Alright, son. I'm gonna go walk down this hall and I'm gonna let you do your thing, okay?" As soon as he turned around, he could see two of the guards standing in his way. He tried to quickly excuse himself past them, but they quickly pointed the tips of their spears at him to deny him passage. The man shook his head. "Damn... I goofed it."

"Dad, there's nothing wrong. I just don't want that doppelganger to get to you. This is for your safety, I'm sure you understand. " The changeling queen replied, trying to soften her tone.

Harold closed his eyes as he came to terms with his mistake. "That 'doppelganger' is my son."

"And I'm not?" The queen questioned, feigning heartbreak.

"Cut the bullshit. You got me in your trap, might as well come clean now that I'm all yours."

For the moment, there was a lingering silence in the hallway before a faint giggle could be heard from the fake captain's lips. Chrysalis giggle soon evolved into laughter, and then into a maniacal crackle. The 'guards' remained stoic while the queen pointed at the human mockingly. "Gracious me, you are one tough cookie. To think you'd crack me out so quick. Well I'll be damned."

"Well to be fair, you didn't cuss nearly enough to be my son." Harold stated. "Got his defensiveness to a T, but not nearly the hardware."

The changeling queen smiled proudly. "I have the only piece of hardware that matters."

The man asked in deadpan. "Yeah, but do you know how to use it?"

The changeling queen reached to her waistband and pulled out the gun, pointing it towards the ageing human. "I'm sure your son knows the answer to that. Maybe I can show you too."

Harold grimaced upon seeing the barrel pointed towards his head. "Damn... Do you have to wear my son's face when you kill me?"

Chrysalis smiled as replied in the captain's voice. "You knew this was long overdue."

Moving through the halls towards the barracks, we quickly jogged towards the hall leading up to the barracks. Before we could leave to come this way, Shining took a small detour to notify Princess Celestia of what was taking place. Without any hesitation on her part, she gathered what forces she could on the castle grounds and sent them to follow me.

As we started to make our way over, one guard came up and notified us of a sizable assembly of changelings trying to keep the barracks locked away. He also warned us that the would probably be dressed as guards. We turned into the hall and I could see another human standing at the end of the hall. As we had gotten closer, I could see a small encirclement of spears being pointed towards them.

"Hey!" I called out, causing the human to turn around and bear an all-too familiar face. Shining's eyes expanded as he and I realized who it was standing there. "Dad?"

The loud crack of gunfire sounded loudly through the halls of the castle, echoing against the quartz pillars. Before me, I could see my father wincing in terrible pain as he fell to the ground. With him falling down, I could see the other 'me' smiling as he held the smoking gun. Looking to me, he then pointed the gun at me while giving me a stern warning. "If you know what's good, you'll come quietly."

Meanwhile, I could hear the cries of my own father as he held his shoulder, bleeding onto the red strip of rug beneath him. "Fuck.... Shit.... Deuhhhhgh.... Ahhahahhhh,,,"

For the seconds I watched him on the ground holding his shoulder trying to minimize his blood loss, I started to birth an unreal desire for carnage. Somewhere inside me I wanted to see that fake smile of my mirror image contorted to a grimace of unbearable and very imaginable pain. Revenge was very rarely a deep-rooted desire for me, but in this case I wanted to make the exception.

The impostor appeared not even displeased, but slightly inconvenienced. "Huh, still alive? Must've not aimed it right."

"Yeah, you don't know shit on using a gun!" Dad called out in pain.

Shining completely disappeared from my side, teleporting beside the fake-me and used his magic to tear the weapon from their possession and galloped to the lock nearby. He then emptied the entire clip on the lock and broke chains off of the handles, yanking the barrack doors wide open. Looking within, Shining could see the occupants completely incapacitated from a series of runes placed throughout the walls. He looked back to see two 'unicorn guards' on either side of the hall still enraptured in their incantations. Thinking quickly, he threw the empty gun at one of the before leaping to the other, sending his hoof squarely upside their jaw.

The other me ran to try and continue the incantation before the magic flow through the runes could be completely quenched, but gained no ability to do so after dad reached out to grab them by the ankle. The impostor fell and looked back to my dad before kicking him in his wounded shoulder. As he got back to his feet, I ran right up to kick them across the face.

Right then, the disguise fell and Queen Chrysalis was writhed with pain before using her magic to send a blast in my direction. The hit I took sent me flying back five feet before I came to a stop. She tried to quickly grab the gun with her magic this time, only to realize it was completely empty. With frustration, she slammed the weapon to the ground and ordered her lackeys to subdue us.

The runes fell dormant and the occupants of the barracks started to feel some life within them. Upon noticing the changeling queen standing in the hall, they took to the armory and came out scantily armored, yet armed to the teeth. Realizing their queen was in grave danger, the disguised guards dropped their appearances and the small army of changelings stood beside her to show their menacing nature, hissing with forked tongues and snapping jaws. But before any of the armed guards could make a move, Chrysalis took one of her own, levitating me, Shining Armor, and my dad before them with a scowl.

"If you value the lives of these three, you would move not one inch!" She cried out at the top of her lungs, speaking so loudly and forcefully that a second voice pushed through to match her speech fluctuations.

However, a much more powerful variation of that same method shook the halls behind us.

Turning around, we could see both Princesses Luna and Celestia standing with a much more armored force than the ones we rescued. Luna being the one to clear her throat after her attempt to shatter every window in the city, held a blue spear with an enchanted silver blade shaped similarly to that of a six-inch dagger. Celestia donned no armament, instead illuminating her horn with powerful magics.

Shining and I rubbed our ears from Luna's verbal assault as dad shared one other small complaint. "Son, please tell me you have group health care."

"Humans are covered by default due to the 'protected species' tag." Shining answered quickly. "Your son, not so much."

"It's amazing that healthcare for a guard could be less than half of that of some random living organism." I added.

The changeling queen, now annoyed by her current circumstances, shouted back to the three of us. "SILENCE!"

Shining quipped at her. "Funny, I don't remember you being the quiet type."

"And I don't remember you lasting longer than thirty seconds." Chrysalis shot back.

While the joke was amusing, I didn't take the time to laugh while dad was staring back between the two. Shining continued to taunt the changeling queen. "Well it's not like you didn't ask for it. After all, wasn't the whole purpose of that little fiasco was to drain my love and take me away to serve as designated breeding stock? Weren't you the one to wear Cadance's face while trying to goad me into getting you pregnant?"

"Unlike your poor excuse of a wife, I'm not willing to give birth to failure. But who knows if anything she produces will be strong enough to be born."

That was probably the first time in a long time since I saw Shining unleash hell in one look. "Oh I am so ecstatic that humans have a weapon for your kind. Just one word and you changelings will be dead before you could say 'Hiroshima'."

Dad slowly glanced back at me. "Son?"

"I might have told them a story about the second World War." I quickly explained.

Shining continued his threats. "Yeah, and if we find you, you're all going to die. Each and every. Last. One of you will be ashes."

Chrysalis continued to goad the young prince. "You bragging on the strengths of another species? Now I know for certain your foal's as good as stillborn. But I'll have to come back and see, won't I?"

"You know, nowadays I'm wondering why I didn't just lop your head off when I had it last." I seethed back towards her.

"Because you're the weak one of your species." She answered dismissively. "Everything about you oozes with futility, even the moment you were summoned showed how weak you were. We asked for the most dangerous being─"

"You want dangerous? Let me tell you something, there is nothing more dangerous than a human with restraint. Do you know why, it's because we know our breaking points." I looked back to dad, seeing his injured shoulder. "And I've gotta say you've hit every last one of them for me. So congratulations, you're on my eat-shit-list."

"We'll see how you feel about me when I'm finished with you." Chrysalis then screamed out once more to the top of her voice. "PHARYNX, NOW!"

Looking around, I could see nothing significant that warned me of any danger. But the moment a small cloud of dust landed on my arms, I looked up to see a different colored changeling staring at me from the ceiling before green flames warped around his body, expanding into a substantial fireball before falling to the ground with a huge resounding crash. The flames subsided, revealing a large black and purple wasp-like creature standing a clear thirty feet tall, reaching as high as the the lights hanging from the ceiling. With a roar, it sent many of the guards within the barracks falling to their backs.

The three of us were vastly surprised, Shining being the first of us to speak. "Well that's different."

"This somehow doesn't surprise me on ability more than it does in appearance." I said.

"I'm still stuck on WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT!?" Dad screamed.

The monster charged at us with fangs brandished and an eye out for me alone. Knocking the other two aside, it swooped me from Chrysalis' magical grasp and dangled me from the collar of my shirt. As I looked down, I could see my feet swaying while everyone else was at least two stories below me. The changeling queen then flew up to meet me with a degrading smile. "Having that said, you will be coming with me, my new human slave."

"Sorry, chromosome numbers don't add up so I can't be your breeder boy." I growled at her.

"Oh please, if you think that's a concern, then you're sorely mistaken. Besides, who's to say I can't make the numbers match?" She yanked me by my hair and whispered in my face. "I will make you replace every last one of my changelings with your stock, and you will give that to me ten-fold."

Without warning, I felt myself being dragged aside while the large creature that had me in their teeth dodged a sizable magic blast. I looked over to see Celestia barreling towards us. Chrysalis spoke to me once more. "I'll get back to you, but first I have some royal business to dispose of."

Losing no calm or collection, the changeling queen turned to the side and launched a huge blast of her own, leaving Celestia to counter with yet another. The two opposing rulers clashed magics, their encounter sending sparks flying below as the skirmish commenced. Changelings emboldened by their queen gained the strength to fight as if there were two or three of them manifested in the body of one. Even the selected guards chosen by Celestia herself had experienced much trouble in batting away the blows each changeling doled out. Down below, dad had taken a sword and started randomly swinging out wildly with his unaffected arm. Shining stood by him, offering protection from the ones that tried to come close.

Luna, however, had no problems bashing changelings from her path. She used her magic to bat them away as they approached, and any that came from behind were greeted with a spear swiping at them. Almost in a methodical manner, she slowly waded the halls until she could find herself directly beneath me. The princess stared back up at me and quickly calculated her approach. Coming to the conclusion of how she'd get me out of this creature's jaws safely, she encased herself in shadow, allowing herself to be consumed by it until she had transformed completely.

Donning a blue steel helmet, sharpened fangs, a taller figure to match the height of her sister, a much longer mane and tail, and eyes like that of a feline, the princess stood in stance as if to wait for the right moment to pounce. And the moment she found her desired opening, the iris of her eyes went from their narrowed state to a much wider one. Dust trailed the princess as she sprang high into the air. From there, all I could see was the world spinning in several directions before being brought safely to the ground.

The creature that once held me captive started to make its way towards us. Luna then stood in front of me, casting a shield of black. Her eyes locked on to that of the creatures as it came down on us. With hardly any effort, she blocked the wasp-like monster and charged up her magic, producing a blue aura engrossed in electrical energy. And in a single blast, she cast the monster out of it's form and back into it's normal changeling state. I took a glance to where the changeling was flung to and back towards the princess of the night. She had quickly phased back to normal as she spoke. "Perhaps I should make the payment of that favor a knightly visit to my chambers then?"

"Your sister would kill me." I said, glancing back up to the two opposing rulers dueling up high in the air. "Though I would probably have to take that into consideration with the next favor I'm gonna ask you for."

Luna smiled. "Get you to your father?"

"If it ain't too much trouble." I replied.

"Behind me then." She said, summoning her spear and tossing it to me. "Oh, and try not to get hurt this time."

Looking at the wound in my arm, I shook my head. "A little too late for that, aren't we, princess?"

Batting a few more changelings out of the way, she chuckled at me. "What are we going to do with you?"

Just as we were about to start moving forward, another changeling came straight at me. I swiped the spear at it, but missed on the account of this changeling's agility. "You're not going anywhere alive, human!" Guto called out in his recovery.

"Guto, hey, I'd love to chat but I kinda got some things to do." I said, trying to fend off a few other changelings.

"Hold him down so I can mow him down!" He ordered as the few changelings tried to encircle me. While they all pounced at me, he leapt in to join the fray. But as he was just a hoof away, one of the guards came from behind me to deliver a solid hoof to the commander's face. As he was removed from the picture, I was left with another three changelings to deal with.

Guto, upon being knocked to the ground, heard a distinctively familiar voice call out to him. "Whoops, sorry. I think I might've gotten the wrong guy."

The disgraced commander shouted back. "THORAX! YOU WOULD BETRAY THE HIVE!?"

"My hive, the hive I love and deeply care for, there's no going against that. That hive isn't even the one that's here. Your hive, the one you envision yourself in creating, that's a hive of traitors who only mean harm. And I'm going to protect the hive I love, even if it means weeding you all out." The disguised changeling prince announced proudly.

"If only Pharynx could hear you squeal like the little bitch you are."

"If only he knew what you were planning to do with Ocellus."

"It's for a better hive, so why bother about it? The hive deserves a much brighter future."

"And it isn't the one you're trying to build."

Guto, reacting with anger, charged at the changeling prince with a spear he picked up off the ground. Thorax narrowly avoided the spear's tip and blocked the blow while fending against the disgraced commander's strength. Guto growled back. "Truthfully, I don't think Pharynx would miss you very much."

Thorax pushed back with all of his strength, still struggling against the stronger warrior. "Honestly, the queen was going to drain you dry anyhow. So you were going to be as weak as any other worker drone. But now that I'm on the subject of your apprehension, I think I've got a way to deal with you."

"Oh go ahead, you passive brat, make my day!"

The changeling prince offered no words or any further negotiation. Instead, Thorax simply smiled.

"Damn demons of hell, stay the fuck away from me!"

While dad was doing what he could to fend off any changelings from getting closer, Shining was a lot more preoccupied with actually fighting the changelings. Due to the sheer disadvantage of their position, he was often fighting off at least five at once instead of the two or three that tried to get in dad's face. However, even his feigned attempts to show competency with a sword bled through and more changelings simply gathered around him with jested pointing and hidden laughter.

Finally coming to terms with the fact that he was exposed for being untrained, dad backed himself into the wall, panting from the workout he gave himself and wincing from the aggravated injury. "Um... Mr. Pony!?" He called out to Shining. "Need some help here!"

As he took out two of his own, another four came to encircle him along with the remaining three. "Yeah, some help would be pretty awesome to have on my end too." He replied before weaving a spell to cast an expanding bubble around himself to merely push the ones around him back. He jumped back to the middle-aged man's side. "Probably a bad time to ask, but have you ever fought with a sword?"

"Son, lemmie tell you something, in our world we have guns for that reason."

"If only we can get to the armory, then you can gun it up as much as you'd like."

"Wait, you guys have guns?" Harold asked with surprise.

"Not quite us, but Nondis has a few." Shining replied.

"Is this a bad time!?" I interjected while running towards the two as Luna effortlessly blew a good ten aside. I walked over to dad, trying to inspect his shoulder. Meanwhile, dad had questions to ask me.

"Son, what's this about guns?"

"Long story, tell it later. Right now we need to work ourselves to the armory so we can put this shit to a quick shut-the-fuck-up."

"Convinced that's your son?" Shining asked.

Still uncertain, he goes back to ask me. "And where the hell's your phone?"

"Battery ran out, dead in my pocket."

"What is it with you and forgetting to charge your goddamn phone whenever I'm trying to call you?"

"Are we really doing this right now? Like seriously, can you not for just ten goddamn minutes?"

"Yeah, that's him." Dad confirmed to Shining.

Luna then used her magic on every changeling between us and the doors to the barracks, parting the creatures as if she were Moses parting the Red Sea. While dad was more impressed than anything, I had to grab him by the arm and drag him along with Shining and I. Once we were back behind friendly lines, Luna slammed the ones she had grabbed in her magic to the ground, knocking them all unconscious.

We walked towards the closet that read the word 'Armory' on the door. I went to open the door as dad asked me again. "Son, what is it about guns and you bringing them to foreign worlds?"

I walked into the closet and saw a wooden crate with several items I took with me on the Mt. Arimaspi assignment. I quickly grabbed what I could for the time being with whatever ammo I could hold. "I consider it a necessity of security. If I have to go against another magical creature or god knows one that's like twenty-to-thirty feet tall in some uncharted forest, I would like to know if I can keep myself alive long enough to bury you and mom."

"Okay, now that I can respect." He said just seconds before I pulled out a shotgun, an assault rifle, and a claymore. "WELL DAMN SON! ARE YOU SLAYING DRAGONS OR FIGHTING WORLD WAR THREE!?"

"Whatever it takes to survive. I'm sure you'll agree."

"Nondis, this shit is crazy." Dad said while shaking his head in disbelief as I had him hold the shotgun.

"That's yours, aim at the black ones with the blue eyes, preferably not wearing armor."

"And what are you going to use?" He asked.

"A temporary lack of self-restraint."

The changeling queen and the sunshine princess continued to collide horns and beams for the better part of the hallway skirmish. Chrysalis and Celestia paid the battle below them no mind until there was the distinct sound of a firearm unleashing hell on an unsuspecting changeling. Distracted, Chrysalis glanced down to see me walking with a weapon in tow and snarled as she illuminated her magic. But before she could have the mind to cast anything, Celestia knocked her down with one good blast to the side, causing the changeling ruler to fall to the ground, staggering to get back on her own legs.

"Interesting, I didn't think you'd be so complacent to allow one measly distraction to get in the way of your conquest." The changeling queen turned around with a venomous scowl to the princess, watching as the other flew next to her. "Awfully weak-minded of you, Chrysalis. I expected more from this."

Coming back to reality, Pharynx stood back up to see the changeling queen at a disadvantage and transformed himself to the wasp-like being he took up minutes earlier. Standing over his queen, he swiped his stinger at the two princesses, causing the two to leap back. Chrysalis took advantage of their withdrawal and sent a powerful blast of magic towards one of the walls, blowing a hole completely through to the outside."

Celestia and Luna shielded their eyes from the dust as the changeling queen announced her retort. "I didn't think you'd be so complacent to allow one measly distraction to get in the way of your justice! Awfully weak-minded of you, Celestia! I expected more after all this time!" Celestia scowled while the changeling ruler flew to the opening and gave a departing statement. "No matter. I'll be back to get my revenge, and believe me when I say you won't even see it coming!"

The two royal sisters opted to give chase to the evil queen, but were foiled as the wasp-like creature bought her some time to escape. Pharynx snapped his jaws at the two princesses. Thorax, seeing the opportunity to maintain his disguise for the duration of his own escape, quietly withdrew himself from the front line of action and retreated while feigning an injury. Guto, who battled with the changeling prince, was caught with his wings broken and all four of his legs pinned through their holes by a spear deeply embedded into the floor. The changelings all saw what was happening and flocked to the hole for a desperate escape. Pharynx, seeing the princesses ready to fight him, gave out one final roar to knock back every guard and changeling caught in it's way.

Celestia, however, stood tall, taking a deep breath of her own. Anchoring her own hooves into the ground, she unleashed a bloodcurdling scream that successfully broke every window in the hall, every light fixture that hung in the air, and even the monster was thrown back as a result from the high princess's verbal squall. It was so prominent that it gained a second and third overtone. The sound was far too reminiscent of the ones I heard in my nightmares, which instinctively caused me to clutch my weapon a little harder. As the multitude filed through the hole, a large magenta barrier appeared to block the remaining majority inside. Shining walked forward with his horn glowing brightly as he asked proudly.

"And just where do you think you're going?" He said with a triumphantly smug expression.

Hours passed as the clean-up operation commenced. The casualties were not overwhelmingly substantial, but almost every guard from the third descent onward to the security check-in were killed. When we went to inspect the alarms, they were found to be covered in copious amounts of thick changeling goo. Those that were fed on were drained so badly that they were either dying when we found them or deceased long before. In total, we lost around fifty guards outside of the skirmish.

The battle itself was no more than seven killed, sixteen injured, one missing. Myself and dad were included in the count as "light casualties" but I felt that the articles would come out later that this failure would be all on me and that I would be held accountable for every death that occurred.

In my mind, I could already see the paperwork lined up at my desk to send apology letters to the families of the fallen.

But as a consolation prize, we did manage to withhold a total of sixty-two changelings, not including the fifteen that were killed. Guto was also apprehended once more, but this time cursing out some 'Thorax' character. Each of them were gathered and tied up to prevent them from escaping by any of their normal means, that also included chaining their forelegs together, sealing their horns, and binding their wings. I had given the direct power by Celestia herself to deal with them as I saw fit, so I had them placed in the courtyard and allowed them to wait until I had returned from the medical ward.

Dad's shoulder was promptly repaired after a quick phone call was made to Twilight. She quickly flew over and used the same healing spell she and Sunset used on Stanton. She also used it on my arm, despite my calling it a waste of magic. Admittedly, I was glad that she did it anyway instead of following my dumb suggestion of letting it heal on it's own, knowing I still had some work to do.

After another phone call to Alex and Stanton to let them know what all had happened, they took away from their schedules and dropped by to check in on dad. They were also extremely pissed off at me for not being able to protect him like I should've. They understood the reason why I couldn't get to him immediately, but still presented the argument that I should've been more careful and consider every viable option of contacting them before going to sleep at night. In other words, make sure I charge my phone more often. But their frustration towards me held not a single inch towards their hatred for the changelings. So for the first time in Equestria's history, under Celestia's direct supervision, I was to hold my first execution.

And for the first time ever, it would be by firing squad.

Shining adamantly volunteered his services and stood by the three of us as the changelings were lined up against the walls of the keep. In groups of four, they were marched up to the wall, offered their final words, and fired upon. And if any were left alive, they would be put down by means of a single shot by pistol to the head.

Eventually, the grounds went from smelling like a rosy garden with slight hint of vanilla to the air having a tinge of fresh copper. The cobblestones of the courtyard ran a deep crimson, the likes no guard would have ever professed to seeing. And as time went along, bullet holes started to wear heavily on the walls. And in half an hour, the bodies started to pile up far faster than the sanitation squads could manage. It went from stretchers, to dollies, to wagons. And even the wagons couldn't move quick enough to remove the growing hill of corpses by the time they finished their run to the outer walls.

An hour passed by and we were already getting tired of the sound of gunfire ringing in our ears. But at last, we were on our final two changelings. Guto had the esteemed honor of being in that number, standing beside just one of his own kind. When they looked over, they saw the mountain of corpses and grew solemn. Since we were a little tired of having recoil wear into our shoulders, I took it upon myself to give the two a more personalized execution.

"Do you have any last words?" I asked the changeling beside the commander.

No answer.

I pointed the gun to his head, pulled the trigger, and the changeling fell quietly. I then walked over to Guto and asked the same question. "Do you have any last words, commander?"

"Just a question." He said as I started to put the gun to his head. "Have you ever thought about what it was like to watch your own die so slowly, what's it like to hear them cry out in pain over how much they were starving?"

"Your starvation is not an excuse to take the lives of innocent people." I replied sternly.

"But we feed on love, and love comes from creatures such as ponies. Surely you humans would know nothing of that."

I took a moment to pull the gun away from his head as I conversed with him one final time. "If you ever took the opportunity to see my face from earlier today, the moment where your queen shot at my father with this gun I'm holding..." I then pointed towards the two other humans standing downrange. "My two brothers over there who just found out that their father was hurt, then I'm sure you'd think it was because of vengeance. But where would that vengeance come from, if not for the love we share collectively for our own father? Do you expect us to be here because we simply hate changelings? No, they're here because they mainly want to make sure I'm still breathing. If I knew nothing of love, then riddle me on why I'm still here."

Guto ignored my explanation, veering back towards his original subject. "And yet we starve, because we're born to suffer. Our hive is dying because of you, the very act of you, your very existence gives us pestilence. The act of bringing you here was far too damaging."

"Then why bring me? You could've left me for dead in my world. I would've drowned in the gulf, never to bother a single soul. But the irony of it is that if you changelings hadn't saved my life there, I wouldn't be here. And if you would've taken me in instead of leaving me in a forest to venture into, then would it not be so different? Would you have not earned my gratitude and my loyalty, my service and sacrifice?"

Guto initially said nothing after that and I proceeded to point the gun back at his head. The moment he felt the barrel against his skull, he stirred to speak one last time. "Chrysalis is leading us to our deaths for her own gains. I only wanted to guide our hive towards a stronger future. Tell me, how would you feel if a mother discarded you the way she has to us?" He then looked directly at me. "Would you, a son, feel no differently than I?"

I took a deep breath and answered his question. "Not a damn bit."

A single clap of thunder, a moment of recoil to send my forearm lunging upwards, a smoking gun and a moment of understanding. Guto laid dead on the cobblestones beneath my feet, his blood staining my shoes. I looked upwards towards Celestia, who remained unfazed from the collection of dead sitting on her front doorstep. The three others watched as I walked away from the fallen changeling commander one last time. And somewhere in my mind, I soon realized a grave fact.

For a larger vision of peace, Count DuMoneé was right, I should've killed Chrysalis that day.

The Next Day...

After getting fixed up and receiving a righteous scolding from Alex and Stanton, dad was given the thumbs-up to leave. Dad didn't say much to me after leaving the med ward, just only wishing that my day would go better. Alex and Stanton were still angry with me, but understood how difficult it would've been to deal with another version of me walking the halls with a gun in tow. Still didn't stop Alex from giving me a firm brotherly slap upside the head.

But we were all happy that things didn't end off worse than what it was. By all accounts, had Chrysalis known how to use a gun properly, I would've had to see my own dad off to the morgue. Or worse, I would be dead in my room and he'd be dead in the halls. They would've lost the both of us and mom would be a complete wreck. She'd have every justification to despise this place, and it wouldn't even come close to being a peaceful ending. Probably a good time to say 'Thank God for bad aim.'

I finished my day on a high note, it being the fact that my father and I were alive and well.

Waking up in the morning, I knew my day was going to be hell to push through because of all the letters and media appearances I would have to make. Cleaning up my own mistakes is hard enough, but cleaning up after a me that was really the changeling queen trying to sabotage security was beyond my mental capability. Even my breakfast was littered with journalists with sun-level access passes crowding around the table expecting me to answer every damn question.

"What does this mean for the future of the castle security?"

"With the changeling queen freed, what are you going to do about their next attack?"

"Now that we know that changelings can claim human identities, what do you do to distinguish yourself and you fellow beings?"

"What were you doing at the time when the guards were being placed on force leave for the day?"

"Do you think this incident would ever jeopardize your future of maintaining this position?"

"Will you plan to meet with the families of the victims?"

"What is the status of your father?"

"Will you train your father to defend himself in the eventual case that this were to occur once more?"

"Would you be willing to induct more humans into the E.U.P.?"

"Do you think the addition of more humans into the guard would have a substantial effect on palace security?"

Out of all the questions, there appeared to be one that even remotely resembled an attack on my performance. Under most circumstances it would be a lot more frequent, but the one asking me about my employment seemed to be the only one that ever turned towards that direction. And it honestly surprised me.

Shining walked into the room and announced loudly. "Time's up! Pencils down! Everybody out! Thank you for your questions, please exit the room in an orderly manner! Do not linger for more questions outside in the halls!" As the room started to empty, I was finally left to eat my oatmeal and fruit in peace. Shining sat down with a newspaper in his telekinetic grasp. He levitated the article beside me. "Not too rough today, were they?"

"Surprisingly." I answered with a scoff. "I was seriously waiting for a whole bunch of questions asking me why I should keep my job."

"You don't ever take a visit downtown in the early morning hours, do you?" Shining questioned.

"Why would I? The only reason I would is to sneak off and buy some pastries, but that's been nerfed by the royal decree Celestia placed to keep me locked on my diet."

"Nerfed?" Shining tilted his head and quirked an eyebrow.

"Oh right, I forgot you guys don't play video games. Maybe my way of saying it was confusing to you."

The young prince laughed. "Oh no, far from it actually. I just haven't heard that word since my time in high school. Nerfs, buffs, dice rolls, long days after classes of playing Ogres and Oubliettes."

"Ha! Nerd!" I joked.

"Nothing wrong with a few role-playing games." Shining replied defensively, blushing a slight amount.

I shook my head and gave him a light tap on the back. "Dude, we have the same thing in our world. It's called Dungeons and Dragons."

Shining perked up as his tail practically wagged like a dog. "Oh please tell me you have a set!"

"Not really, I don't play it. But I do play video games with that same stuff. There's this one game called World of Warcraft, if I can teach you how to use a computer, you'd be locked at the desk for weeks. Cadance would have to pry you away with the strength of Celestia."

"That fun, huh?"

"The raids are a brutal mess if you don't prepare yourself beforehand. You'd just end up getting party-wiped. But I'm sure you'd pick up on it pretty quickly. As for me, I'm pretty much a level 87 night-elf rouge."

"And I'm the nerd!?" Shining answered back. "If you told anyone about this in high school, you'd be wearing your lunch for the afternoon."

"Not in my world. Almost everyone plays games nowadays, just some games more than others. I pretty much left my WoW account on the shelf since Call of Duty came out. Not an RPG, it's a first-person shooter where you meet up with other guys from around the world, talk shit, and shoot at each other for the highest score."

Shining pulled out his phone and pulled out a pink feather to browse his screen. He went on his browser to look up more information about some of the things I said. "'WoW' account, okay that's an abbreviation. 'Call of Duty' is an online... Wow, your world is so interesting in it's media and entertainment sectors."

I looked towards the newspaper sitting right beside the prince. "In speaking of media, what's with the newspaper."

"Oh yeah!" He yelped, jumping back from our little geek session. "This was an article I picked up while I was on a morning sprint. If you had read this before the whole media scrum, you'd understand why the questions were the way they were."

He handed the newspaper to me, showing me the front page picture. Amazingly, it was the image of me walking away from the body of Guto, with the mountain of corpses clear as day on the left side. "How the hell did they get this vantage point?"

"Royal photographer." Shining replied. "He pretty much gets whatever shot he wants within the discretion of the princess."

I went on to read the headline and it's accompanying article.

JUSTICE IS DONE;
Captain Nondis Ends Long Civil Dispute

After a brief skirmish in the halls of Canterlot Castle, Captain Nondis cleans up what was considered to be a long and dragging process between the citizens and the military court system. As many of the ones who were captured were all stragglers from the invasions of Ponyville and Canterlot, several lawmakers and politicians argued that the court's system for dishing out punishment for war crimes far exceeded the time it would have taken to convict and punish civil crimes.

The result was a long and arduous process that ended with a strict limitation of how many changelings could be dealt with at a single time for fear of a plague to taint the air of Canterlot. Politicians felt uneasy as the infrequency of the sentencings led to some pressure from district leaders. However tourist corporations, local business owners, and health experts argued against the practice of such executions, stating that there would be a prominence of decay that would taint the air with numerous diseases. But politicians cited the need of expedience to prevent any overpopulation of the dungeons from occurring. Added to that, the changeling queen being placed among them had brought about fears of an upheaval, fears that were very much justified.

On the matter of Queen Chrysalis' escape, Princess Celestia had this to say:

"As I have come to admit this failure on my behalf, I recognize the service of those guards who have done admirably in questioning the motive of their unofficial leaves. Their dedication to service warrants high merits as they have shown a desire to protect the country outside of an expected pay. With that being said, I take full responsibility for the situation and not overseeing the process as I should have done. This will be subject to change."

The change was sweeping, as the captain himself alongside fellow humans Alex and Stanton, and prince Shining Armor, took the task of dealing with the remaining changelings that failed to escape. Among them was also the changeling commander Guto, the ringleader of the previous invasions and abductions cases. It was said that the method of execution was so efficient that the teams of sanitation workers had experienced tremendous difficulty in keeping with the captain's demands. Within the hour, all were confirmed deceased.

A guard had this to say on the matter:

"I don't think I've ever seen such an efficiency in death. The fact that only four could completely run through a small army so quickly was terrifying to behold. It was a method unlike any other. Even when considering hanging and beheading for options, there's the labor involved that consumes much of the time allocated, the replacing of ropes too worn to use, the resharpening and replenishing of blades. As of now, there are only the holes in the walls that need painting over."

Holes caused by human weaponry indicate the ruthless efficiency of such devices. And in turn the humans operated with such speed to disallow any indications of a prolonged process. Squads were lined against the wall, fired upon, and moved out in what many witnesses claimed to be "an assembly line so flawless that the grim reaper would seek other opportunities of employment upon seeing it." And as a result, many victims who have lost family members to the invasions and abductions can sleep with ease in knowing the ones responsible have been brought to justice.

The captain then ordered the bodies to be gathered on the lower mountainside to be burned for sanitation purposes.

"See what I mean?" Shining said with a perky grin. "The article was practically praising you."

"And somehow I'm supposed to feel better about what all happened yesterday now that the newspapers are giving me a thumbs up?" I asked in retaliation. "My dad got hurt because he couldn't tell friend from foe and Chrysalis is back at large."

"That's true, but Celestia and Luna were the ones in pursuit, not you. So they take the blame for letting things transpire as they did."

"And I'm blameless?"

"Not entirely, but wouldn't you rather not have to face that P.R. nightmare? If anything, Celestia's doing you a huge favor here." Shining replied.

"But─" I tried to argue, but was quickly shut down as the young prince cut me off.

"Just trust me on this one, you'd rather get that free pass." He then teleported the newspaper from out of my sight and changed the subject. "Now, about your meeting with that girl this evening, what are you going to do."

I kinda looked at the stallion with some confusion. "You seem awfully gun-ho about this."

"The sooner we get this done, the sooner Cadance can sleep at night without talking me to death about her worries, the more I can sleep at night without that thought keeping me awake."

I looked at my phone and saw the hour was still young. "Shining, I told you man, I don't feel too comfy with the thought of sleeping around to get a favor or two pulled."

"Try not to think about the ulterior motive, just put in your mind that this is a prelude to a hot and heavy date. She's been looking to nab you for a while, right?"

"Yeah, but─"

Again, he interrupted me. "And she's the one to ask YOU out. This is more of chance slapping you in the face, she wants to do these things for you, to you, and prove herself to be competition for Twily. It's a triple threat cocktail in a sealed shatterproof vial and you couldn't possibly mess this one up."

I took another moment to consider the circumstances and another unpleasant thought came to mind. "What if this girl was really more of the mouthpiece for the actual woman-err... mare? Like what do I do then?"

"Keep your head, feed your head, make her head swim."

"What if it's actually a guy?"

Shining paused for a second before putting a hoof to his chin. "...Give him head?"

"NO SIR." I stated prominently and emphatically.

Shining chuckled at my response. "It's a joke, I'm just pulling your leg."

An entire day of letters, press meetings, and security check-ups later, I finally reached the end of my shift. The minute I punched out, I was already wearing my uniform from the funeral. Sitting on the floor hidden partially under the bed was the pamphlet I was given by Blue Royal. Using that information and making sure my phone was completely charged to max, I walked out the castle and wandered the crowded streets alone.

Repeatedly, I would check the street numbers and combed the grid to see if I had reached the right location. As soon as I came to the particular street, I noticed a few things started to jolt some familiar imagery. And the answer to where I was didn't pop up in my head until I had finally ended up on the front doorstep of the address they provided. In bold, gold-gilded letters I could see the name 'The Sun Cryst'.

Funny how the only thing I attest to this place is the fashion show Rarity had the week and some change prior, that among some other lusty things that happened. As soon as I walked up to the front desk, the attendant walked from behind the counter and said to me. "Welcome, sir captain. We've been expecting you. Your reservations have already been made and you will be taking the elevator to the top floor. From there, you will be showed to where you'll need to go next."

As soon as I walked into the elevator, I located which button showed the top floor and pressed it. The doors closed and I was pretty much sitting pretty for a minute until the elevator came to a complete stop. As soon as the doors opened, I saw a lavender mare with purple bangs, sporting a solitary aqua streak on each her mane and tail. She whispered as she walked past me. "Interesting..."

I walked past the mare before being completely brought to a halt against my own will before being dragged back almost in reverse. The doors to the elevator closed and the buttons were all dark with the emergency brake somehow active. The mare held me in place while she walked up to me. I smiled politely and questioned her. "Can I help you, ma'am?"

"So you're a suitor to that one princess, aren't you?"

It didn't take a genius to connect the dots. "Ex suitor, actually." I answered. "She dumped me a while back."

"I see, it must be awfully hard to know you were in the company of someone with talent and power, only to be brushed aside later down the line. I can relate."

"Well it's nice to find a kindred spirit." I lied, trying to get myself out of this elevator. "Yeah, but I'm kinda in the middle of something. I'm looking for someone I'm supposed to be meeting with here."

"No princesses of any sort?" She questioned.

"No ma'am. I'm looking for Hooves-for-Humans."

The mare looked up at me with a blush and a giggle. "Whoops! I thought you were trying to get through a quick romantic rendezvous with your *ahem* former significant other. My mistake." She gave the panel a single kick and all the lights and buttons operated as normally as they once did. "But you did say Hooves-for-Humans, right? They're on the top floor."

"...Yes they are and so am I." I replied slowly.

The mare snickered while rolling her eyes. "Oh right, I didn't consider that non-magical beings were unaware of this little parlor trick some hotels use to allocate exclusive access to certain places. Give me a second..." Her horn illuminated with the same color as the aqua stripe in her mane and unleashed a small beam towards the elevator panel. All the buttons lit up at once and showed me a final button that was hidden well under every other button on the list. She pressed the button and gave me a quick smile. "It's pretty much why I count the floors of every building I walk into."

I nodded slowly with a wide smile on my face, trying to hide just how weirded out I was. "Yeah, how did you know that?"

"In my line of work, you come to know a lot about secrets and stuff."

"So who are you again?" I asked, getting more and more suspicious.

"Me, oh I'm a classmate of Twilight Sparkle's. We both studied magic and I was hoping to catch up with her on a few things. Haven't really seen her since we last encountered a long while back."

The elevator bell rung, indicating we had reached our intended stop. The doors opened to a hallway entirely of gold leaf and pearly accents. I gazed around with awe while the mare in the elevator levitated me into the hall and called out to me.

"But yeah, it's been nice talking with you, and meeting you too. But I kinda have to go, maybe next time?" She said while breaking her grasp on my body.

Even for me, she's a bit weird. "Suuurrreee. Always wondered how Twilight's life was like before moving to Ponyville."

She and I waved back towards each other until the doors closed. Meanwhile inside the elevator, the mare sighed with relief. "Close one. Too bad I can't use him for a bargaining chip, guess the proud purple Princess of Friendship isn't all she's cracked up to be, leaving a suitor for the buzzards. She's probably got the ego of an Ursa Major to drop someone like that guy, or probably got freaked out by him having the incompatible components. Too bad really, seems pretty nice. Guess I'll do him a favor and bring her back down to ground level."

The pony then summoned a scroll with an eager smirk on her face.

"It's only a matter of time now."

Walking the iridescent pearl floors, I could see a single set of doors standing at the end of the hall. I knocked on the doors and waited a few seconds before knocking again, to which yielded no response. I checked the pamphlet and looked back to the door with a quirked brow and a huff of frustration. I was already trying to mentally talk myself out of this before I could do something stupid. And leading that crusade was my already-matured impatience from the ordeals of the day. I started to walk back towards the elevator, convincing myself that this was the fruitful beginnings of an irreparable mistake.

The doors of the elevator opened and I was greeted by a familiar face. "Going somewhere?" Blue Royal questioned with at least seven bottles of wine.

"I thought I was coming to a meet-up, not a bar." I answered.

She glanced at all the wine she carried and smirked. "Oh this, no this is for the casual drinkers."

Of what, the Catholic church? "Um... can I say how confused I am right now?"

She giggled, pointing one of the bottles at me. "Oh let me guess, no one told you of the elevator trick?"

"Well the mare that I met before you. Purple hair, purple coat, I swear she's got more purple than Twilight."

She tapped her chin with her hoof, thinking aloud. "Hmm... I think she walked off the elevator when I called for it."

"Yeah, she got me right. So I take it that was one of the mares who were supposed to tell me where to go?"

"No idea who she was." Blue said with a shrug. "But I'm glad you're here! Hey, can you help me carry some of these in?"

"Sure thing." I offered to grab two of the ones she levitated.

She corralled all seven of the bottles he held in her magical grasp and smiled brightly. "Oh no, I have another twelve in the elevator I need you to heave for me."

TWELVE!? "That's a lot of wine. Just how many people are in this get together?"

"You'll find out soon enough." She rebutted while levitating the crate into my hands, leaving me to carry all the drinks with a sense of insecurity of my tolerance for alcohol.

And I'm a frat boy questioning if this is some shit I can deal with.

She took the bottles out of my possession as she pulled out a black card, similar to the one Rarity had when she had her show, but the difference was in the runes. There were at least two magic circles on the lock and the card emitted three, allowing the door to swing wide open. Blue then turned to me with a hoof against her lips. "Now don't make too much noise, I'll come back for you in a little bit."

The door slammed shut behind her, leaving me to stand in the hall contemplating why the hell I was doing this. And to my misfortune, she didn't have me wait too long. After some cheers and clattering of bottles, she announced to the attendants.

"Now ladies, I know the drinks are a great way to open up to the other guests, but let's try to practice some civility. You wouldn't want to embarrass yourself before the big surprise. Though I'm sure none of you are even going to be able to down an entire bottle by the time I'm done with my introduction." She paused for a second as the others shushed each other. "Now... Ladies... Today is a special day, one that all of you will remember. And I promise you the ones who decided not to come will be so upset that they didn't come to THIS meeting. So ladies, fillies, girls... let me open this door for you."

I quickly unmounted my ear from over the door just before the hardwood, gold-leaf-covered door opened up to give me access. No one was standing in the way to greet me, just an assortment of silk drapes and marble columns guiding me past the facade and towards the inside of the suite.

I could already hear Blue calling out to me as I grew too nervous to come from behind this wall. "Don't be shy. Come on over, we don't bite too hard."

I could already feel my feet getting heavier with each step I took out of the shadows. And as soon as I stepped through, I could already hear a roar of thunderous cheers hammer my ears. My eyes expanded from not just the incredibly expensive decor in the suite, but also the crowd of at least forty mares of different age ranges. If I could say anything to accurately depict the demographic, it would be a mix of 'Real Housewives' getting drunk alongside the entire cast of 'Sex In The City' and 'Golden Girls'.

One mare emphatically shouted out to Blue. "Honey, you shouldn't have even said anything about the biting, That hunk of human is something I'd like to dig my dentures into."

Another one yelled loudly. "Ooh, I'd break my hip trying to show him how we'd do some down-home lovin' back in my days!"

A slightly younger mare walked up beside me and smiled. "Oh, you are so tall. Mr. Tree, tell me how I get to climb you."

You know that feeling of discomfort you get when some random cougar gets in your personal space for a groping. Now imagine that hand being a hard hoof planted on your left ass cheek. "Mmph. Hot DAMN I always wanted to do that! So soft, yet firm."

Finally a much younger mare swooped over to whisper in my ear. "So now that you're on the market, care to share some human anatomy with us?"

The first elderly mare hollered at the young pegasus. "Missy, you're much too young. He'd probably be seeing jail time with you."

I mumbled to myself, admittedly taking preference with the pegasus in my ear. "Twenty-one is more like jailbait to you, lady."

Catching wind of my age, the mare standing next to me gasped. "Oh GRACIOUS, he's young! Twenty-one!"

I glanced over to Blue, who was just standing by with a glass of wine plastered to her lips while she tried not to laugh. I quickly mouthed the words to her. "HELP. ME."

The entire room erupted with laughter while the gathering of mares started filing their glasses. The first mare that spoke said something else to follow. "Sonny, we're just having a little fun at your expense."

"After all, most of us older ones are happily married, or miserably chained to earth anyhow." The mare standing next to me gave me a wink.

"We're just glad you're here." The pegasus mare said hovering behind me, planting her hooves on my shoulders. "It's too often we see you in the papers, but never do we actually get to be so UCAP."

"So what now?" I questioned.

"Up close and personal. It's so hard to get around you cause you're so famous and junk. Then there's the whole living up to beat out the princess' level of intimacy and all that baggage."

Finally, Blue spoke up. "Basically, we're all just a bunch of kooky girls who wanna see your kind happy and satisfied with Equestrian accommodations. It wouldn't be fair if you were unhappy with being here."

"Yeah, sorry if we made you feel a bit uncomfortable at first, we were honestly hamming it up just to see how you'd respond." The second mare called out.

Blue Royal suddenly teleported in front of me and levitated my hand to her hoof. "Welcome to Hooves-For-Humans."

Over the past two hours, there was no shortage of wine, which encouraged some of the wild behavior from earlier. But to my fortunes, they weren't as aggressive as they played themselves out to be. Just a cheek pinch here, a squeeze there, a few swooners, and even a kiss on the cheek from some of the older ones. But every now and then between the drinks, I was allowed to share human culture with them and discussed a few other things that would've been hot press material for those looking to get a glimpse into the human world.

After a long night of wine, fun, and a few shots of sexual harassment, the guests started to thin out until there was just Blue Royal remaining in the room. She had another bottle stashed away in the suite's fridge that she revealed to me. Offering a glass to me, she popped the cork off and happily danced.

"No thanks, I'm kinda wined out." I lied.

"Well Mr. Haines, I don't remember having seen you with more than that one glass you kept swirling around all night."

Realizing I was caught in my lie, I gave in to her offer. "Fine, but only one more. I have to walk back to the castle."

"Not in the deal, sir." She said, practically giving me the entire bottle, letting the mouth of it rest against my lips. "I don't do late-night business sober. If we're gonna deal, we're gonna vibe off each other first."

I politely took the bottle off my lips and poured me a glassful of wine. As I was pouring, she walked over to the table at the center of the room and took inventory of how many bottles were empty. Upon discovering one of them was still three-fourths full, she hummed with glee as she yanked the bottle back and took a huge swig. My jaw fell to the floor as I watched the mare casually held the bottle like it was her jogging water. "How many glasses have you had, lady?" I asked, completely astounded.

"The same as you, one." She answered. "What you do, I follow. That's the name of the game, right? You do something and I do something in return. You eat, I eat. You drink, I drink. You fight stubborn corporate lobbyist, I provide you with an army of your own."

In other words, I'm really following her if I want all of this to transpire. So with a deep breath, I gulped my glass and quickly swigged down two gulps of wine from the bottle.

"Yeah, now we're talking!" She praised enthusiastically. "Besides, you're twenty-one, you're at that party it up age. I mean I apologize if you don't drink too much as it is."

"Nah, I think I can take a bottle." I said, almost forgetting that alcohol content was substantially higher here than in my home country.

Blue giggled as she took another swig. "So now that we're here and my checkbook's out on the table, what are you trying to get out of me?"

I followed suit on her drinking habit. "Well, I think I'd like to consider a deal of sorts. How much would it cost per lobbyist?"

"Varies." She replied. "The question should be 'who's the highest bidder?' If it isn't you, then you're only wasting your time."

"Better question, how much can you afford?" I questioned, starting to remove the filter off of my thoughts.

"Better question, how much are you willing to give me?" She responded.

Right then, I felt myself getting nervous again, despite the buzz starting to wear on my mind. "Oh... you mean like flowers, a date, or sex?"

"Well not to be so forward..." She walked up to me, using her magic to unbutton the top of my uniform. "I just want you to take this off, that's all I want for now."

Remembering what Shining was preaching to me for the past two days, I took his advice and obliged in her request. The top of my uniform came off and I politely laid it on the couch. "Well, top's off. Your move."

The mare growled under her breath. "I'm not that easy, boy. I've got a few more years on you so I know where to slow down."

"Okay, I'll hang back." Not that I had a problem of doing that to start with.

The mare then sat on the couch, using my uniform as a cushion. "I think you should drink a little more, you seem too stiff for me to vibe off of you."

I took another two gulps and grew satisfied with how much alcohol I consumed for the night. "Bottle's almost half-empty."

"Down it."

I looked at her like she had gone completely insane. "All of it?" I asked.

"Save the last swig." She ordered.

Reluctantly, I did as she ordered, trying my best to at least remain standing after tossing the bottle back. My head was already feeling the numb by the time I was left with just one small gulp to take down. She then motioned for me to sit next to her on the floor. Already feeling myself completely degraded to damn-near nothing, I knelt by her as she levitated the bottle over my mouth.

She swirled the bottle, getting a feel for how much was left. Humming with satisfaction, she placed the bottle to the side and hung over my face. "I like you. You may be a bit nervous to start off but as soon as the flow starts going, you're down for anything."

"So what's next?" I questioned.

A smirk curled on the mare's lips. "Oh nothing serious... But I do have a few things I want you to do for me, captain."

"And what's that?" I slurred.

She placed her hoof on my lips, growing even closer to my face. "I can buy you lobbyists, that's easy. But I want more than what you're thinking right now."

"Okay." I answered numbly.

"It's not too much. Just a little bit of your loyalty. The foundation's been really growing for the past few months, you know with you and your other compatriots being heroes and all."

"That's it?"

She finally leaned in to bite my bottom lip. "A tiny bit of it, yes. Just make a few more appearances and our numbers will grow. But that's not all."

"Exclusive dating rights?" I droned before she let go of my lip.

"A few weekend appearances by my side, and also an entire week for rental."

"Isn't that offer only applicable to lower-ranked guards?" I questioned.

"It also requires guards to be in the service for over four years to qualify. Basically, I want you to break a few rules for me."

"Princess Celestia would have my head." I replied lethargically.

"Would she if she really knew what you were doing this for? Would she truly admonish a guard of your stature, your pedigree, with your track record and without facing some public backlash? See here's the thing about royals, when it comes to playing favors, they love to keep their name out of the dirt. So if someone close to them or under their puppet strings, like you are now, did something morally questionable, they'd cover it up to keep their names clean. And if you were caught with something, they'd simply disavow you and leave you to the world unknown."

"Hmmm... seems like you had someone close to you in that category."

"Of course, but it was well deserved." She confessed. "But what if what you were doing was going to benefit them in such a way where they'd have no other option but to accept it?"

"All of that seems like a gray area, pretty dangerous stuff."

"But you're used to danger, right?"

"Yeah." I answered, dropping my head before it was tilted back up by Blue's foreleg.

"And you'd play the risk to grant them the freedom they desire. Or am I mistaken?"

"No, you're right." I admitted, my mind still lingering back to Twilight.

Before she did anything else, she summoned a large manila envelope. She plopped the item in my lap as she spoke. "So with that said, I'll be sending you home with some mail. Don't open that up until you get in your room and no one's around. From that point on, you'll meet me at the designated place on the designated day. And from there, I'll tell you what you'll be getting in return."

"So what do I get now?" I asked completely letting myself go to the alcohol drowning out most of my senses.

The mare looked over me with an endearing smile, leaning over to whisper in my ear. "Your gift will be a special one. And you'll be getting it in the mail tomorrow. Just think of me when you open it up."

From that moment on, everything started to swirl and mix in ways I didn't think possible. All I could remember from there on was a mix of lights, blues, greens, reds, yellows, and finally black. There was no telling what happened with me or what was going on. The only thing I knew was the fact that all the wine I ingested came back with a vengeance.

A ruthless one...

The Next Morning...

From the moment I opened my eyes, I felt nothing but a crushing pain in my head. My stomach felt like it was contorted into a series of knots that disallowed me any form of comfort or security in my constitution. I rolled over, only to fall off the bed and smack my nose against the hard marble tile of the castle floor. I glanced around to see that I was indeed in my own room, but I had no clue on how I even got here, or what even happened past the hour I was leaned against the couch at that really lavish penthouse suite. If anything, that place almost resembled a fever dream. I felt around for my phone on the nightstand above me, not really desiring to get on my feet out of fear of needing to vomit. After my hand found the rectangular shape it sought after, I yanked my arm down and read the time on the lock screen.

11:38 A.M., well past my report time and breakfast. "Oh shit... well at least it's a Saturday."

For a moment, I had to debate with myself on whether or not I was going to get off this cold floor and back into the warm bed above me. And sadly, I was beginning to think the floor was going to win. Hell it's not like I wanted to get up anyways, so why do it for a bed, much less a Saturday morning. And it felt typical.

It felt like any Saturday after a day of getting ready for the party, going to said party, and passing out drunk on some frat's front lawn. It could've been like the one time that I went to a party after mid-terms and woke up in someone's bathtub, my neck was four ways of fucked for the rest of the week. Or even the one time we hosted a party and I somehow woke up on the roof with the school mascot's head on. I struck out with a girl earlier that evening, apparently hurt about Mel not talking to me anymore and I acted like a total diva, hamming it up worse than Rarity does when she gets a bad review.

Either way, it was a familiar sensation that had me feel a bit nostalgic.

I was at least basking in that feeling until the sound of knocking at my door managed to give me an even bigger headache. The door opened and Shining walked in. "Well it's been time for you to get moving. Wake up!" He said, dumping a bucket of cold water on me. Just the impact and drastic temperature change all over my body made me seize up, shocking me awake.

"Ah! Shit, Shining, man, c'mon! I'm kinda in the middle of recovery here!"

The stallion proceeded to give no fucks. "You either stay down there and I give you an ice bucket of water to see if you get up any faster, or you get up and sober up. Royalty doesn't take many days off, and unlike them there's no replacement who can fill in for you."

I tried to get up off the floor as quickly as I could when I saw that second bucket. "I'm up, I'm up! Shit!"

"Yeah, no time for bed and breakfast! Shouldn't have got drunk last night!"

"The bitch wouldn't negotiate without me drinking. I think she made me drink an entire bottle of wine."

"What did the bottle look like?" He asked.

I held my head as I tried to remember the shape and contents. I could at least remember that the alcohol content was far higher than what I would've expected from a single bottle of wine. "Black bottle, cherry flavored."

"Ooh, Cherry Jubilee's black cherry rum. Strong stuff, and you had an ENTIRE BOTTLE!?"

"That's all she bought. And she didn't even take four swigs of the damn thing." I added.

"Yeah, you danced a little too much then. Either way, can't have you laying around like Prince Blueblood. You gotta move." The prince suggested before mumbling to himself. "Shit, a whole damn bottle."

"Your wife drunk four bottles." I argued. "If anything, I can say Cadance had thirty percent more of a buzz than I did."

Shining gave himself a second to do the math on his own and quietly agreed with me. "Oh yeah, that is a bit of boozing. But that doesn't change the fact that you should be up and running."

I stumbled towards the bathroom, starting to feel the accumulation of last night's endeavors wearing on my bladder. "Yeah, just give me a second, I gotta pop the cork and let the wine run."

Shining shook his head. "Yeah, just don't take too long in there."

As soon as I closed the door behind me, I ran to the toilet and desperately unzipped my pants. As I was reveling in the release of all that built-up tension, I looked on my chest to see I was only wearing an undershirt. I also remembered myself wearing my uniform to the gathering, the ENTIRE uniform. And apparently, I didn't wake up with it on. I didn't wake up. With. It. On. Me.

"FUCK! I left my damn jacket at the hotel!"

I flushed the toilet and rinsed off my hands before running to the door.

I stepped out to see myself standing in a makeshift lookout post. On the floor was a littered mess of maps and papers. Even as my foot landed, I ended up kicking over an empty can of what appeared to be applesauce. Looking ahead to where my bed should be, it was instead a table with an assortment of weapons on it like swords, spears, bows, arrows, crossbows, bolts, and a small red book of what I could assume to be combat spells, judging from the crossed swords on the spine.

Walking forward, I saw two guards staring out the window, not donning their usual armor. Instead of wearing the clunky metal material, they wore dull gray, thick cotton jackets with the Equestrian flag on the sleeve of the right foreleg. One of them turned around as they heard the can rattle as it clanged against the wall.

"Shining?" I called out.

"INTRUDER!" He screamed, using his magic to blast at me. I narrowly dodged the first blow, only to be caught with a substantially stronger one. I attempted to get up before I felt auras clasp around my ankles and wrists. Looking back up, I could see the pair of guards walking up to me. One still donned a helmet as the other, obviously Shining Armor, grabbed at my shirt. "Who are you!? What are you!? Who sent you!?"

Completely confused, I started to answer his question as clearly and effectively as possible. "Nondis P. Haines, the asshole you tried to choke to death for getting intimate with your sister. Also a member of the royal guard, graduate of tenth infantry division, delta company, c'mon you know me."

"Getting intimate?" Another distinctively familiar voice echoed. The other guard walked beside me, taking off their helmet.

What I saw the moment that helmet came off completely blew my mind. The other guard was indeed Twilight Sparkle, but the face she had was a lot more battle-worn. She had a hideous burn scar that covered half of her face, one of her eyes even appeared to be glossed over, indicating she was blinded in that eye. Her mane was trimmed a lot shorter, sporting a bob. She was also missing her wings and her horn was a little shorter. In fact, she was at least three inches shorter than usual. And through the one she could use to see me, she glared at me with an icy complexion.

"Not one stallion has touched me, not even my own father sees me as beautiful. You are sorely mistaken to think that I would even be afforded the luxury of being intimate with anypony."

I tried to question her. "Twilight, what happened, what's going on? And what happened to your wings?"

She quickly summoned a sword from the table and held the blade longways against my throat as she shouted. "Silence, monkey!"

Shining continued to hold me down as he slowly levitated the book of spells. "You won't be going anywhere until you answer our questions."

...I don't know what world I stumbled into, but I'd sure like to find my way out of it.

Yeesh. The past few months have been very unkind to me in terms of free time available. I went from having a rehearsal every week to two of them every week, to one every weekday with the exception of Fridays, where I'd have to travel and gig.

Just now I'm getting back into the flow of things. I'm just dead tired and I'm trying to find the energy to keep things up. I'm sorry there hasn't been much for the past two-ish months. But the next few weeks should be a little better, considering that my schedule will lighten up tremendously. When all is said, I am glad that all of you have stuck around, even if the numbers may have diminished over time. I am grateful, and I will hope to see you again for the next chapter.

The next chapter's going to be a little fun for me, I just jotted down around 5k words on it already.