The my sight slowly came into view. My eyes opened to see that I was in my room at the Ponyville Pamper. Beaming directly onto my face was the light from the morning sun. For some odd reason, my sensitivity to light was unusually high. Seeing all of the light in my face had only made me slightly nauseous. When I blinked, I felt a light stinging in my face just beside my right eye. I placed my hand to cover whatever it was that stung, only to find something crusty and hard covering a decent portion of my face. As I ran my hand down it's length, I began to recall what had happened the previous night.

"So did you have a good time, Nondis?"

My legs shook uncontrollably as I stared at the grief-stricken princess, who stared at me with an indifferent expression complete with tears rolling down her cheeks. "Twilight... ahh... what are you doing here... late at this hour?"

She didn't even seem to care about the words that fell lifelessly from her mouth. "I was dropping Sweetie Belle off. She and I were having a bit of a conversation when the two of you pulled up. So we waited, and we watched, and of course... you..."

"Twilight... I am so─"

Her teeth shone brightly in contrast to the darkness around us, the calm demeanor she once carried seemed to have completely imploded into pure unbridled rage. "No. I know how sorry you really are. You don't mind breaking oaths and promises, disregarding the boundaries I placed to protect not only you but my friends as well. So you take it upon yourself to meet with one of my best friends and... throw yourself at her?"

Rarity offered to speak. "Twilight, dear─"

But Twilight lashed at her violently, even her wings flew open sharply as she screamed at the fashionista. "And you, YOU know what I've had to go through since last night, you know what I've been dealing with and how I've been feeling about it. So you turn around and do this, to me, behind my back? I trusted you!"

"...I understand your frustration─"

"Do you really!?" She interrupted once more, not even giving Rarity a chance to speak. "Do you have any idea how long I've constantly told myself that this would all work in the end? I've had to make so many ends meet, even breaking laws to ensure that I was showing him how much I wanted him in my life. You didn't care, you didn't care for me."

Rarity cast her head down as she turned away from her friend, guilt causing her to become quiet and meek. "I know it hurts..."

"Yeah, it hurts!" She shrieked as she fell to the ground, her legs unable to support her weight. "I can't seem to recall how much pain I felt all at once that would even compare to this. My chest aches, so badly." When she said those words, her eyes expanded and her hooves collapsed beneath her weight. My jaw dropped as she clenched her eyes and exhaled heavily. The moment I saw her fall limp to the ground, I quickly walked to her.

That moment for me was playing out as if it was a flashback to my senior year in high school. When I heard something akin to an aching chest, the only thing I could remember was a familiar circumstance involving my grandfather. Needless to say that it ended in unfortunate circumstances. So despite her sobbing, I acted on instinct and rushed over to check on her. Lightly, I shook at her, hoping to get a response.

"Twilight, you okay?"

I got the one I was expecting, but I was far from prepared for what happened in sequence. "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU... YOU... LIAR!"

It all happened so quickly. Her wing unfolded and gave me a powerful slap across the face. I backed away from the blow and stumbled for a bit as I started to feel the side of my face burning more than what it should have. A warm liquid pooled down my cheek and onto my chin, dripping onto both my shirt and the ground below. The next thing I heard was the collective gasps of both Rarity and Twilight. As I opened my eyes I felt something seep into my right eye, causing a strong stinging sensation to occur. I quickly placed my hand over my eye, only to find that it was actually blood that wandered in.

"Nondis!" Rarity called as she used her magic to pull my head down and inspect the wound.

At the beginning, I questioned myself how a simple slap would cause me to bleed so much. But then I had remembered a crucial detail regarding to pegasus pony anatomy. The feathers that are often used to slice through wind were become even sharper should their wearer become agitated. And despite it not being sharp enough to cut skin on it's own, I do remember that the feathers─with enough kinetic energy behind it─would be capable of slicing into one's skin if they're large and sturdy enough. And Twilight's wings were far above the average size.

Add it all up, and now I know that the deep-rosy stain in Twilight's remaining primaries were not there for decoration.

Twilight looked at the wing she used to strike at me and saw the small splashes of crimson caught in her wings. Her eyes then locked onto the drippings of blood on the ground. Her pupils shrank to the size of sewing needles as she ran over to check on me, apologizing as she slowly closed in on me. "Oh no... no... No, no no... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... I'm so..."

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Rarity screamed to the horrified princess.

Honestly, I was awash with emotions. But the main things that I felt was anger and a sudden urge to retaliate in some manner. So I ended up saying the first thought that was in my mind at the time. "...Twilight... I don't think we're going to last like this." I began to not even care if what I said had actually hurt her, I was just speaking what was on my mind.

A squeak left her throat as she teleported next to me, burying her face against my left arm. "I didn't mean that, I swear! I only meant to─"

"I get it, you hate me. You hate my guts right now. That's why you swung at me." I answered with indifference.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO AND YOU KNOW IT!" She screamed loudly, her voice echoing throughout the town.

Rarity gritted her teeth as her magic started to glow even brighter. Her eyes narrowed and her expression became firm, her glare sharply cutting to the purple pony on the opposite side. Before she could do anything else, I freed my left arm from Twilight's weight and grabbed at Rarity's horn to cut her magic flow.

I realized from just Rarity's expression alone that this was getting really ugly. And should it continue, these two would end up fighting. I then regathered my thoughts and backed away from the two. The purple princess levitated my left arm towards her and grabbed at it to cusp against her tear-stained cheek. Seeing that Rarity was becoming even more angry, I pulled myself free once more and backed away from the both of them. I turned to the purple alicorn, looking at her with my good eye. "Twilight, let's all just... ease away from each other... for now." I said softly, knowing that things between the three of us was at a volatile state.

Rarity grumbled with protest but complied with my request. Twilight didn't seem to hesitate as she walked backwards a few steps, all while quivering. "So... it's over, isn't it?"

I shook my head, realizing that this was theoretically the breaking point of our relationship. I had betrayed her by going with her friend, and she caused physical harm to me. All of this had taken place within a time frame of about fifty seconds. The rapid escalation of our confrontation as well as the sudden turn of events... I just had to admit to myself that this probably was going to be the last time she and I would consider each other as more than friends. Even I said it myself, I didn't think things would be able to continue like this.

But something deep inside me spoke against making that decision just yet. Sure I wanted to minimize the damage by cutting things off here, but who's to say that the repercussions were to come back and add more damage to what was there to begin with? I wanted to know if this was in my heart to say that things needed to end here rather than let this isolated instance of dissension become the sole evidence required to conclude matters here and now.

Either way, it was time to make some tough choices, but I do need some time to process the result of each one. "...We're rushing to conclusions again. And our emotions are making the decisions for us in this situation. So to give it a fair thought, we are all going to go our separate ways, somber up, and continue having this discussion tomorrow."

"Why tomorrow?" Rarity questioned, seeming critical of my choice.

I tried to move my hand from my wound and open my eye, but the burning sensation didn't seem to wane any. "Because I need some time to think and be able to see out of my eye. Let's start there."

The moment I mentioned my eye, Rarity called out to the purple pony who started to walk away. "Twilight─"

"You heard him, Rarity. We'll finish this tomorrow." She answered quietly before disappearing in a flash of magical energy.

I decided to take after Twilight's idea and just head home, but something tugged at my shirt as I tried to walk away. "Do you need me to walk you home?" Rarity questioned.

"I'm fine. I just need some ice and some ibuprofen. Can't really say I didn't deserve that lick she gave me." I answered just before wincing a bit at more blood getting into my eye.

"Nondis, I can't let you walk around with an open wound!" She argued while trying to drag me into the boutique.

"I'm fine." Unfortunately, my words didn't seem to get anywhere close to her ears as she levitated my entire body into the boutique and sat me on the couch. I started to get up but her magic continued to hold me in place as she started levitating an assembly line of medical supplies from within the kitchen.

"Nondis, you might as well stop it. You're not leaving my sight until I can clean you up and provide you with a change of clothes. I won't let the town see you bloodied and defeated." She answered sternly, using her magic to grab a cotton pad and doused it in alcohol. "Now hold still, this will sting a bit."

As the pad came in contact with my wound, I grunted and dug my fingernails into the my palms. As she was doing that, I could see in the far corner of my eye that Sweetie Belle was looking on with sadness. When our eyes met, I started to feel the real weight of shame fall upon me as she turned away, appearing uncomfortable in my appearance.

Rarity grabbed the side of my face and directed me to look to her. "Sweetheart, stay still."

"...We made a mistake, didn't we?" I questioned to the white mare.

Rarity looked off to the side for a moment, halting whatever she was doing to my face. She wouldn't turn back to me when she spoke. "I don't think you did. But I do want you to make the right choice, Nondis."

"Being you?" I asked bluntly.

She remained quiet for several seconds while using her magic to once again clean my wound. "I never said that. But I do want you to be happy, truly happy with whatever you decide on."

"...What if I said that I wasn't sure of what I wanted anymore?"

She quickly turned her head, facing me with an expression of astonishment. Perhaps my statement took her by surprise.

"To clarify─"

"Arrrgh!" A slight surge of pain brought me back into the present time, causing me to wince lightly. "Ah fuck."

How did all of this happen? Seriously, I don't mean to do wrong, I just thought─

How was I supposed to know that Twilight was in the house? I didn't even have any intentions of kissing her, I just wanted to say goodbye and be on my way.

Shut up. I could give less than two shits over what reference you pull out of your ass right now. I need some aspirin to kill this damn headache I'm getting.

Now that I think about it, I think I just walked here and grabbed something to place over myself to clean up the wound. I don't recall going in front of a mirror.

Will you quit with the damn Star Wars jokes?

...I'm not even going to acknowledge you when that happens.

Stumbling out of my bed, I stretched and yawned for a few seconds before standing up and walking towards the bathroom. As soon as my hand hit the light switch, I could feel an intense burning in my eye, piercing me all the way to the back of my head. For a couple of seconds, I had to resort to closing my eyes and gradually taking in the light. With squinted eyes, I peered back into the mirror to see something dark running down the side of my eye. When my eyes finally got used to the light, I could finally gawk at the massive scar on my face.

How much more of this will I be getting throughout the rest of the day?

So... an unbearable amount?

Ugh... I can't believe that this is my life right now. How did she even find out?

Or a certain pink princess could've tipped Twilight in on what I was doing, thus leading her to the boutique.

...Oh please tell me that she didn't tell Shining, I really don't want to have to fight this guy for real.

Wouldn't they? I can't believe all of this happened. I can't believe I kissed Rarity. I can't believe Twilight slapped me... on second thought, this wasn't the first time she did it though.

I need to go apologize to her.

Twilight and I are an absolute mess right now. Committing myself completely to her at this point in time is a dumb decision and would only lead us into rushing things again. She's already expressed that she's all gun-ho for hopping the broom, and even has the ability to fit everything wedding related within the next week or so. I already broke the approval process law and my only option is to get married to her.

I am keeping my balls, thank you very much. If anything, I am operating out of the saving grace clause to keep the waters murky. If those politicians even catch the slightest glimpse of me and Twilight possibly breaking up, I'd lose my sperm rights for certain. And I can't really have a successful long-term relationship with anyone after that if I'm not able to establish pipe flow. Let's face it, a vasectomy on humans, a vasectomy period, isn't really in the equine's dictionary of health practice.

And being perfectly honest, I can't really keep waiting around like this for her to come up with some plan to get started on. She and the others were talking all of this shit about getting everyone to eradicate this law.

So I can only stir the waters until then... huh, guess this would be a good thing to explain to both Twi and Cadance, never thought of it that way.

...I know.

*knock knock knock*

Well, I wonder who that could be, probably Twilight or Rarity.

I walked out of the bathroom and walked over to the door, set the latch on the door and cracked it open to find that my previous assumptions to be false. "May I help you?"

A unicorn guard clad in his golden armor stood with a hoof raised to his brow, saluting me as he levitated a scroll with a silver seal on it. "Sir Captain, I trust that you are well-rested this morning."

Not so much due to my thought-plagued dreams. "Yeah, I guess. What's going on?"

"The parliament has requested a summons for you, they ask that you'd show up immediately. As for the reason behind such a request, they state that they are, and I quote, 'Dissatisfied with your inability to save even more lives and coming away from the Castle Ruins with hardly anything to show for it.' They also state that the reports of your, again I quote, 'Lolly-gagging has shown that you have a complete disinterest in your objective and are unsatisfied with your performance.' Failure to comply would result in the termination of your tenure as Captain of the Royal Guard. "

Oh goody, guess I'll be dangling the changeling commander in their faces a little sooner than expected. I guess that'll brighten up my mood a bit. I'll have to make arrangements for Cliff and Rickey to get here and through to the boutique by their scheduled times, while making preparations for going out to Canterlot. I'll also have to make secondary preparations for another lecture I would give them, one that would inform them why having me as their captain would be in their best interest. And not only would all of this get me a much better approval rating, I'd get more votes of confidence from some of the politicians, leading me to gain some influence.

I think my mind is brewing up one hell of a stew, I know how I can play this game. I don't believe in what Cadance was telling me as how they'll only listen to those with the power to veto. In fact, I'm going to use my current standing to gain sway of some of these guys before putting a master draft together. I need the pieces to fall in place to go along with what I'm doing. As long as I can keep the status of captain, I can do a lot in terms of getting this law pulled from the books. All I have to do is play along for a short while.

"Okay, I'll be around sometime this afternoon."

The guard gave another salute before dismissing himself. I closed my door and took a deep breath as I started to focus back on my original train of thought.

Of course, I'm engaged remember?

Well I'd be stupid to squander my chances due to procrastination, I've already done enough of that in high school. First part of the plan is simple: Go to Canterlot, let them run themselves to the fumes, scare them a bit, give the ol' razzle-dazzle, whisper some sweet words on how our partnership could cause our enemies to tremble, and they'll be eating the shit right out of my ass. Those white-heads always love a good show of patriotism and nationalism. Play that card along with your fear card and they couldn't possibly say no.

Blueblood already explained that it would take forever to go down that route, and he's the closest royal to being one of them. I doing things my way because I know it would be much quicker.

...I can't tell Rarity what's going on with the law. Cadance already made it known that it would cause too much of an ordeal if the citizens were to know the reason for the law's continued existence. I suppose I'll tell Twilight since she's as much as a victim in this as any of the rest of us.

...That is a terrifyingly good question.

After fixing my hair and trying to disguise my scar to the best of my abilities, I questioned exactly how I had gotten to the point in my life where I had decided that wearing makeup on my face was perfectly the norm for these kinds of circumstances. But being that my hair wasn't as long as I hoped it to be, I just had to make do with my usual style and cover my scar under three layers of powder and cream. After making sure that the scar was virtually invisible from a distance, I felt myself relieved of the frustration and moved towards the other arrangements of today. But this endeavor costed me about forty minutes of mixing, matching, and trying to get the complexion right without looking like I had gone to town in the stuff. I felt like a bit of a tranny, though I don't knock on those who make that choice... I just don't see myself doing it. The time it took me to do this was beyond comprehension.

As for why there was makeup in my room... Rarity gifted me some from her collection to hide the scar on my daily outings. She insisted that I'd go to her and get her to put it on for me, but I think I pulled it off quite nicely.

Shut it.

Luckily, it didn't take as much time to make the arrangements for the rest of the day. Thankfully, Cliff and Rickey came through the portal and made it through town without incident. After getting their measurements out the way, I had to explain to them that I was going to make a round to Canterlot on some official business. They insisted in coming with, mainly to see the sights of the town. But I didn't have a single clue as to how to navigate the city all the way, so I had to pull a move out of desperation.

Twilight was very quiet when I first talked with her after the events of last night, but she didn't seem to have any issues in guiding Cliff and Rickey through the city while I made my way to the meeting. In fact, she looked forward to showing the guys her hometown. After all, who would be better suited to guide them than one who was born and raised in the capital city of Equestria? I also had to grab quite a few things and make sure that my phone's connection was still capable of receiving and sending a 4G signal, which it was. I just hope my connections don't drop when I'm in Canterlot.

Their conversations with one another continued to remain as lively as when they initially arrived. But as the time progressed, they began to notice that she and I would never speak with one another directly, not even coming after one another to correct anything. I guess that's to be expected, considering that we used to be so openly back-and-forth.

During the train ride to Canterlot, I stayed locked onto my phone, trying to block out the image of the passing scenery and the sounds of the train clattering against the tracks. Twilight did manage to explain to them that I had recently been in an incident that involved this particular route. Once they got the gist of it, they opted not to speak on it further. Hell, I wasn't complaining, I don't want to even think about how close I was to seeing my possible fiery demise.

When we arrived in Canterlot, all eyes seemed to be on us as we stepped out of the train. A herd of press ponies came gushing through the terminal to get individual interviews with Cliff and Rickey. Thankfully, both Twilight and I had the authority to secure a path through the boisterous crowd of reporters. I even had a crew of guards to escort everyone on through to the castle courtyard. After that, I had made a request to the patrol to give them both a tour through the castle.

Twilight, for the first time today, spoke after me and suggested that she'd lead the tour personally, giving them unrestricted access to all of what the castle had to offer. I didn't refuse her request, nodding to the guards that they were to be dismissed.

Meanwhile, I dismissed myself for a more... lively venue.

"A guard of extreme incompetence such as yourself should acknowledge when you have failed to meet the standards you swore to uphold!"

Wow, they're not playing around today. Them's firing words.

"Princess, must we have such an inept creature─who readily relies on royal intervention─remain at large in a position he is clearly incapable of maintaining?"

The royals looked at the outspoken politician with scowls on their faces. Cadance and Blueblood seemed to show theirs the most as Luna yawned at the screaming stallion. Shining stood behind the lower podium below Celestia as he came to my defense. "Senator Fiscal, I have made the decision to make Nondis captain due to not only his unwavering─"

"Fraudulence?" The senator interrupted. "I cannot begin to point out where his faults have continued to devalue our military power. The other nations are laughing at us!" He stated while holding up a newspaper published by the Griffon's Gobbet. "In the article, it states that the collective consensus of the Griffon Kingdom has issued a derogatory statement in regards to the Equestrian Captain of the Royal Guard. They state that 'his existence would be no more of a bigger failure than the administration of King Guto of the Griffon House of Galefront!' They mock us as we continue to deliberate on how we can repair our economy after the recent attacks, all of which have been sourced from that 'human' thing!"

I gotta give them credit, they upped their game since the last time I was summoned... a week ago. "Wait a second, how were these attacks sourced by me!?" I questioned.

"Because the changelings took advantage of Prince Shining Armor's search for you! You vanished without a trace and then reportedly reappeared the day of the attack! If anything, there is a reason for us to see you as nothing more than a potential threat to our Equestrian way of life!"

His response only caused me to scratch my scalp. "Um... how do you... conceive this notion of me being a threat to your way of life... even after I was sworn in to protect it? And to counter your argument, I 'disappeared' back to my own world for a brief visit, to see my family and friends, to which I returned from the eve before the attack on Canterlot had even taken place. Be that as it may, I have been tied down since by a particular purple princess who decided to appropriate my king-sized mattress for her own resting pleasure. Your argument, whatever it may be, is invalid."

This Fiscal guy only ignored what I had said while plowing through my statement... with another article from what appeared to be a Saddle Arabian publisher by the name of the Whispering Sands. "This one says: 'The decision made by Princess Celestia to ordain a fresh recruit into the position of such prominence displays not only a hastened but unwise choice of judgement! In the years of her rule, she has never shown such weakness as to desperately fill a position after the many high-ranking members of her military circle were killed in a raid that has also claimed the lives of dozens of civilians. This illogical move by Celestia has many questioning the validity of not only her judgement, but also the strength of Equestria's military!' This is a vote of no-confidence, princess! We need to act on this now that he has shown how incompetent he is!"

Damn... these people from around the world are really chewing her out over this. This does sound bad, but I do think I have the proper response to such accusations. I have the one advantage that these other nations don't have: firepower. "Hold on a sec, timeout, flags are all over the place but could you tell me what the penalty is, ref?"

"I'm not sure as to what you're referring to, but I am more than capable of naming a few penalties. First, you continue to linger on about while knowing that an investigation─carried out by you─is placed on hold. Second, you ignore everything there is that pertains to your objective by performing other tasks that does not have any relation to that of the investigation. Third, you successfully rescued only seventy-nine out of the one-hundred thirty-nine bodies found in Everfree and that's not even taking the other one-hundred eighty-four into account. Fourth, you allowed Princess Celestia to fly in sans escort into what was to be the changelings' hideout. And fifth, you have failed to capture your primary objective, only dragging in two prisoners that were written on the report as 'changeling scouts'. These results are POOR, UNACCEPTABLE, INADEQUATE, AND INFERIOR TO THE RESULTS OF WHAT MANY OTHER GUARDS JUST A FEW RANKS BELOW YOU WOULD SET!"

I rolled my eyes at his long list of insults as I looked up to Celestia. "You went unguarded?"

"Well I didn't exactly have time to assign a guard to accompany me. They would've slowed me down, honestly... Not saying that the guards are incapable of combat." She confessed quietly.

I then turned my attention back to the politician who advocated for my removal. "So, I'm not doing my job is what you're saying?"

"Not only that but our administration has been heavily scrutinized with your erroneous promotion. I'm merely saying that with your continued track record of needing assistance from the royals, it would appear that you humans are incapable of holding a position so important to the nation's security."

"He's an inferior species, just say it out loud! You don't have to be afraid of that monkey, Senator Fiscal!" A voice boomed from the far-right side of the room.

I turned my sights to the stallion standing at his station, glaring at me defiantly. "So... I'm an inferior being... who cannot properly strategize nor have the abilities to─"

"Engage in combat! Let's be realistic, if you humans actually declared war on us equines, the battle would be short-lived! You humans know nothing when it comes to fighting!"

Celestia then broke her silence on the matter, screaming at the outspoken politician. "How dare you speak such nonsense! Nondis has been more than capable of dispatching several changelings in his short, but highly decorated career! You only seem to focus on the times where he would be most vulnerable, which is being outnumbered in an enlarged space and going against a changeling with enchanted armor! You fail to focus on how competent he is as a fighter by highlighting the strategic setbacks he had to encounter, for the most part, on his own!"

"Princess, your words fall upon deaf ears. If there is a strategic advantage in favor of the opposition, his job is to counter that advantage with an effective strategy! Your coddling him and labeling him as a 'protected species' has done nothing but produced a weak and frail creature to lead our forces!"

Shining interjected. "Nondis is hardly weak. I'd say that he's performed quite admirably in his duties. He's even─"

"Don't blow your load too soon, Shining." I had to stop him before he said too much. "I got this, apparently they want me to explain to them why I am the best fit for this job."

"Well nopony on our end is going to argue it." Blueblood answered.

"And that is why our country is going to fail, because you fail to ask the hard questions that need to be asked!"

Okay, time to go into scare mode. "So here's a question... if we were neutral parties, and I was the very representative of all of the humans in my world, and you were the representative of all equines here in this one, and our armies were standing behind us... ready and willing to go at each other's throats, what would be your choice?"

The politician laughed boisterously as he dismissively waved a hoof at me. "A choice? There's only one correct answer and that is to show you monkeys your place. The only disadvantage is that we'd run out of bananas sooner than we could throw them."

I nodded my head with pursed lips as I pulled my backpack off and started pulling out the projector I borrowed from Cliff. I also pulled out a pair of speakers with a small subwoofer. "Uh-huh, go on. How would you defeat every last human on Earth?"

I could see a sadistic smile crawl onto his face as he walked from his station and met with me on the floor. As he approached, he continued to boast. "You humans have no magic, so how do you levitate? How do your create your shields to protect the platoons of soldiers? How would you even take to the sky when you have no wings? If you needed to have a handicap for your final evaluation back in basic training, then how would you even be able to endure the fight? You have no spells to cast, no metal as sharp as our steel, no weapon capable of piercing the armor of our soldiers. You all would be weak, feeble, and would pale in comparison to the might of our impregnable forces. Even Celestia would proudly witness her nation overcome your world."

Celestia shook her head as she muttered back to the delusional politician. "Surely no fool would dare to dream of such fallacies."

The politician looked back to the princess with anger. "YOU KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE! These humans are nothing but─"

"Let's just throw a number out there, one-hundred thirty-five thousand." I interrupted, finally getting the projector plugged up and plugged a USB from it to my phone. I drew a sigh of relief upon finding out that this was a projector attuned to apple products. Obviously, my research on the train wasn't for naught. I turned back to the politician and pointed to him. "Just keep that number in mind."

Shining looked at me with a concerned frown. "Why that number?"

"I'll get to it in a bit." I answered as I looked at my phone's reception meter, reading out a solid two to three bars of 4G connection. Thankfully, that would allow me to access the internet though my data plan. This wouldn't take long at all then. I held up my phone and showed the front of it to the politician. "As you can see, our technology is far more advanced than what you all could have ever dreamed of. At the flick of a wrist, the swipe of a finger, the touch of a button, we can obtain information faster than what any of your newspapers can ship out. In mere seconds, we would be able to search, obtain, and ascertain any information we chose to pursue."

I then pointed the phone to myself and sent it into video recorder mode. As I held it up, I slowly walked up to the stallion and awaited his response. He didn't take to kindly to me invading his personal space, trying to point me away from him. "Get that thing out of my face, you stupid monkey!"

I backed off of him and pressed the stop button. After I pulled up the projector app on my phone, I quickly pulled the video back up. I then pointed it to a blank wall. "May we have the light's dimmed?"

Celestia nodded as she used her magic to close the windows and darkened the lights. I finished hooking my sound into my phone and turned on the projector itself. After it had finished warming up, the signal came through and showed the old pony standing just in front of me with a play emblem over the center. I tapped on the screen to start the playback. There were audible gasps as they saw the video appear to them from my point of view. As I stepped closer, the footsteps were very audible as a snort came from the politician.

The entire room exploded into gasps, awes, screams as they watched the short video come to it's end. In the dimmed light, I could see the same politician I recorded stand in place with his mouth agape.

"I don't think I'll ever be so brash in this kind of gathering again... But HOLY SHIT!" Blueblood exclaimed excitedly. "Did you... did you see how clean and professional it was? That's beating all of our best film cameras out in development! The quality, the sound, the frame-rate, motion pictures would never be the same!"

"What source of magickry is that miniature device?" The stunned politician asked quietly.

"Well..." I'm really getting tired of not knowing this guy's name. "Pardon me for a sec, what was your name again?"

"Senator Count DeMoné." He replied.

"Senator Count... I'm gonna call you Moneybags. But to answer your question, there's no magic involved. This is all human ingenuity. In fact, this device here is capable of much more than a simple video. It can record audio, take pictures, and even maintain real-time connections with anyone else I choose to speak with."

I pulled up the face-time app and hit up Rickey. As I waited, the projector continued to display the screen as I was seeing it. As soon as Rickey's face came up, the entire room gasped.

"Sup Nondis!"

"Hey Rick, how's everything going?" I questioned.

"Man, I'm just walking around here looking at everything on this tour. Hey, would you believe that there's actually a stain-glass window of that one guy we saw on Wednesday?"

"Discord? Yeah, his presence is met with mixed results, but he's a pretty cool guy once you get to know him a bit."

"Oh hold on one second... Hey Twi, come look at this!"

As the view shifted elsewhere, the color of the lighting started to turn pink-ish as the purple princess came into view. More gasps sounded throughout the room as they watched the princess speak through the other device. Shining Armor and Blueblood whispered to one another about how this could be useful for some 'wish you were here' talk. Cadance only grew more approving of the subject as she watched Twilight speak.

"Oh wow, I knew human technology was advanced, but this is something totally new to me."

"Hey Twi, how's the tour going?" I questioned.

Twilight tried to keep her eyes off of the screen as she continued to look at everything else around her. "I-It's going well. Where are you right now?"

"You know, crappy summons. I guess they didn't like my performance from the past week and a shitload of other countries are sitting here throwing shade at us for my being the captain."

"Shade?" She questioned as she looked to Cliff with a puzzled expression.

Cliff whispered back to Twilight. "It means they trying to put him on blast."

"Seriously? Are you in the Hall of the Parliament now?" She asked.

"Where else would I be? I'm getting chewed out here!"

Twilight groaned with disgust as she rolled her eyes. "Ugh... I'm on my way!"

"No, you're fine. You keep giving them the tour and I'll take care of this."

"Well, the next spot on our tour of the castle would take us past there. So I guess I can show them the parliament at work, should prove to be an educational experience." She responded as she walked down the hall.

"Uh... just take them out to lunch or something, I'm kinda in the midst of some negotiations."

Then out of seemingly left-field, Cliff came barging into the picture, taking the phone from Twilight and speaking onscreen. "Yo Nondis, you just up and disappeared. Where yo fightin-ass at!?"

"He's in a parliament meeting right now." Twilight responded as she tried to take the phone back, failing to do so when Rick got a hold of his phone once more.

"And he's face-timing in the middle of it? So unprofessional." Cliff taunted in the background.

"Yup, and they're getting a kick out of it." I motioned to Celestia to briefly raise the light level so that I could show them all of the ponies in the room. "Say hello to the Earthlings, boys!"

As I panned the phone across the room, Cliff and Rickey waved at the group of ponies. A few of the politicians waved back in response, eagerly getting in their greetings to the two strange faces. Rickey chuckled as he watched some of the members of the right side of the room remain seated and unimpressed. "Damn, they looking at you real shady-like. Tell those guys in the back to smile a little more, at least stop looking so constipated."

Before I could pull my phone back down, Shining ran from his seat and levitated the screen towards him, waving eagerly at the camera. "Hey Twily!"

"Shining, you're there too?" The purple unicorn asked with her usual cheerfulness.

"Yeah, they're really dumping on Nondis. I think he might pull a fast one on them again, wanna come watch?" He questioned with a prideful smirk on his face.

"Yeah I wanna come watch!"

"Wanna come watch what?" Cliff questioned as he popped back up on the screen.

Twilight answered the dark-skinned human with a cheerful grin. "We're going to see the parliament and Nondis in a hot-topic debate. Should serve to be some─"

While they're at it... "Hey Twi, can you pick something up for me while you're on your way down?"

Twilight still didn't look at the screen as she answered. "Sure, what is it?"

"Can you get the two changelings we nabbed in Everfree back on Tuesday?"

"Oh, the changeling commander and his boy? Yeah, where they at?"

The room just gawked and shouted with disbelief as soon as those words left his mouth. The politicians on the far-left started shouting at the opposing parties to the right, likewise the right to the left. Many of the ones that began to toot their snout up at me on the right had to pick their jaws up from off of the floor. Shining and Blueblood cheesed triumphantly as they gave each other a hoof-bump. Celestia remained silent, but the small upward curve on her lips indicated that she wanted to scream 'I told you so' as loud as she possibly could. Instead, she loudly called the room to order, giving me back the silence the room once had.

...Way to blow my load there, Cliff. "Uh, downstairs in the dungeon, fifth hall to the right, pass by the interrogation room, go past the level-three security checkpoint and it should be a cell at the end of the hall. If you see some Hannibal-Lecter-looking motherfucker staring you in the face from way down the hall, then you're in the right hall. His cell is directly next to it to the left."

"Hannibal Lecter? That nigga ain't gon eat me, is he?" Cliff questioned with concern.

"Nah, Caramel just looks like that because he's pissed about being locked up. He might try to start some shit with you, so just ignore him."

"Roger that. ♪I'm locked up, they won't let me out! Won't let me out!♫" He sang as he walked off screen

"You sure you're going to be okay?" Rickey asked as he was about to let

"I'll be fine, now go away. I'm gonna show them some really scary shit."

"Okay, but try not to instigate a war while you're down there. I don't think they would be able to win that one."

I looked back to the politician who stood on the floor. "Solid copy, catch you later."

As I was about to hang up, I saw Twilight grab the phone once more and stare for a bit at the screen. She seemed as if she was trying to look at anything else in the room aside from my face, but she resigned to turning away and whispering in a soft, broken voice. "...Love you."

"Love you too." Somehow, saying those words seemed as if it started to hurt me a bit. But I know what I'm doing and I know that my plan will work out for the better.

By the time I finish, I should be saying those words with the full intention to make up every single time I would hurt her during this political stint. But for now, I need to keep a brave face on while I do this...

I've never felt so conflicted in my life.

As I hung up the call, the politician that stood on the floor spoke on the final words Rickey said before he left the call. "What does he mean by 'I don't think they'll be able to win that one?' I believe we're more than capable."

"We're not." Shining bluntly responded, the entire room staring at him as he made his confession. "Their weapons are far beyond our comprehension. Their technology is beyond comparison to anything we could ever hope to possess within the next two decades. You saw that for yourself and yet you still continue to delude yourself."

Senator Count looked to the sun princess for any chance of her rebuking the young prince. Her response was nothing different from what Shining had said. "Their weaponry dwarfs our capabilities. We'd only succeed should our armor become heavily enchanted and saturated with magic. Even then, they have alternative means of disabling their foes, rendering them harmless for several minutes at a time."

Shining continued from where Celestia had left off. "It's how he's managed to get Commander Guto. And even on the way out, we started going against over two-hundred changelings, plus the likes of a changeling brute. That number dwindled to about eighty when we were done. And the only reason why Celestia intervened was because the brute was saturated with magic and wore enchanted armor, meaning that it was a foe that only a high-level unicorn could defeat. The rest either died instantly or bled out while injured."

Cadance followed up her husband's statement with one of her own. "And these guys can take out a target from over a mile away. We've borne witness to it, and it was terrifying. Whatever armor it was wearing, it dug right through it and shattered it. Even their bows and arrows have the power to ignore our defenses, driving through our armor as if we were wearing nothing but tin cans."

Celestia spoke once more. "And it sounded as if thunder had assaulted your ears. Their very creations were so powerful that they even had to CREATE more armor to counter it. Honestly, what would've killed Nondis only resulted in a few broken ribs because of the armor he wore, and he was rammed into a stone pillar by the changeling brute."

"They depend on conventional tactics, but their method of execution combined with their weapons, their strength, their agility, their mental focus... You would only scream if you'd see what they were capable of." Shining concluded, causing much of the room to fall into an uncomfortable silence.

Senator Count started to sound out a chuckle, his voice echoing throughout the quiet room. "Weapons that kill beyond a measure of one-thousand yards? Surely you jest, no weapons are even in development. Not even magic can be cast in such a distance."

"Then why don't you tell that to Princess Twilight Sparkle, who originally lost her home because of a greedy centaur who's only desire was to consume all of your magic and rule over you with an iron fist." I argued angrily, taking some personal offense of his comment. "If you ask me, it's more than possible with magic. I've even bore witness to just how powerful a full-release beam of magic is capable of. Being that we're without that, we figured out how to get that same message across the field, with much finer placement. And to prove my point, I will give you all a brief demonstration of just how much of your words you'll be eating."

I walked over to the other side of the room and asked a unicorn guard on watch if I could borrow his sword. With a nod, he levitated his sword in-scabbard to me. As I drew the sword, I continued to speak.

"This weapon is indeed well-made. Very tough stuff, good for cutting through the meat of your problem. It has the two focal points which the blade flexes to makes it all-the-more resistant to shattering and breakage. But even with such craftsmanship, there will always be a force stronger than this, and capable of breaking even this kind of steel."

I flipped the sword into a reverse grip and plunged the blade into a nearby wooden table. A few gasps came from the seating area as the royals remained silent. They already had an idea as to what was going to happen next.

"So nice, so structurally sound. The smithy did a pretty good job on it. Glad these things are standard issue though. Because as much as I would like to swing that thing around a little more, I'm afraid that we humans have come to the terms that those tools, as well as they complete their intended function, are obsolete. They perform their job wonderfully, but we have only come to realize that these things are relics, artifacts, devices of an age long remembered yet their technique mostly forgotten. But they do make for a nice household decoration or items for collectors."

As I walked away, Senator Count frowned as I started to walk back to my bag and pulled out a silver briefcase. He continued to show his disdain for the words I spoke. "That is ludicrous! How do you humans expect to be a force to be reckoned with if few of you have knowledge of the art of the sword? What kind of excuse does your species pass as soldiers?"

As I opened the case and started assembling my weapon, Shining's ears perked as he saw the weapon take shape. "Hey Nondis, is that the one rifle you used back in Everfree? I think that's the M16, if I'm not mistaken."

"You've been paying attention, well done." I commended the blue-haired prince as I finally placed the weapon back together. I also looked to the stallion who poked at his sword buried in the table. "Hey, I'm gonna need you to forget about that thing, it's not gonna last the next few minutes. So if you could come on over here and stand behind me, that would be golden."

"...Sir." The stallion complied with a confused demeanor.

"You have yet to answer my question, sir captain." Senator Count stated.

"Well Moneybags, if you want to know what's our version of soldiers are like, then you're gonna to have to find out how we've been fighting wars in the next few seconds. So pay attention, and keep your eyes on the prize over there." I said while pointing to the sword.

"Um..." Shining hummed as he used his magic to keep my rifle down. "To all the members of the parliament, this is going to be really loud. So just be prepared."

After taking out my headphones, using them as makeshift earplugs, I loaded one bullet into the chamber and set the mode to semi. I proceeded to speak as I took my aim. "Now, I know what you're thinking. What the hell is in my hands? To answer your question, I've manage to bring you a weapon that no pony could possibly use due to anatomical differences. And the use of this weapon is to eliminate your enemy from a distance rather than getting close up. Take away the advantage of their strength and overcome that with range and stopping power. Tear their ranks limb from limb and watch the grunts run with their tails between their hind legs. In other words..."

As the politicians screamed from the sound of the gun firing, they shouted even louder as they watch the hilt of the sword fall from it's severed blade, bouncing off the table and tumbling to the floor. Talking amongst one another, they continued to point to the sword and then to me with shock and awe.

"Miniature political horses, meet mankind's long-time companion: Boomstick. Circa, 1271 Anno Domini. We are currently in the year 2014 Anno Domini, or AD for short. From around the time this weapon was first created, the world was slowly transitioning from traditional methods of sword combat to more sophisticated means of killing. We created machines to knock down walls, break through gates, casting bolts from one side of a field to another. But this weapon did not start seeing it's real use in modern combat until about the 1500's. By then, armor became thick to a fault where the wearer would be slowed and vulnerable to items that inflicted blunt-force trauma. Even mere mud would become their undoing."

"You have more of these... There are more of these... boomsticks?" Senator Fiscal questioned.

"More than there needs to be, from my personal point of view." I responded quietly. "But yes, these things would prove to be very efficient in their job, but the earlier models were inaccurate. Fast forward a few hundred years and you'll find that problem had been all but eradicated. Now... let's go into the early 1900's. Senator Moneybags, what was the number I gave you?"

"Uh... *gulp* one-hundred thirty-five thousand?"

"Good, keep that in your brain, we'll get to it in a sec. But this is a crash course of more recent events in human history, dating back to a little over a century ago. See, there was this thing called the Great War, the first of it's kind. It was a conflict in which many countries threw their lots and sided with one of two groups: the Allied Powers and the Central Powers. Keeping this one short and sweet, the Allies won. Why keep it short, because this is not the war that I want to talk about. But it was known as one of the deadliest conflicts in human history."

"How bad was it?" Senator Fiscal questioned.

"Over the course of four years, three months and two weeks, thirty million civillians and soldiers died. But that's to be expected when over thirty countries go at each other's throats."

There was a ghastly pause and a wave of melancholy fell upon the room at the revelation of this news. Shining felt his forelegs support him with the strength of graphite as he gawked in response. "That's nothing to gloss over! THAT'S OVER SIXTY PERCENT OF EQUESTRIA'S TOTAL POPULATION!"

"Yeah I know, but I'm moving on for the sake of time. That war was then renamed as World War I. Now let us move on to the late 1930's, 1939 to be precise. Of course, many individuals of that war would often recount their tales of horror and strife in the trenches, saying that there would never be another war like it. And they were right... until World War II.

The room fell into a deafening silence as Cadance came from behind her podium and walked up to me. "Please tell me that this one wasn't as bad as the first."

"It wasn't, it was far worse." I said as I turned my attention to Shining. "Remember our conversation about the deck of cards?"

"Yeah, and how there were trump cards?" He guessed.

"Exactly, this time around it was like everyone involved had nothing but the higher suits to play with. The whole deck was there, but everyone was playing their best hands. And as a result, there were deaths that surpassed even that of the first war. I'll tell you that number in a minute, but let's get back to this war."

"What's so special about this number you gave me?" Senator Count questioned.

"I'm getting there. Now, there were three main countries on one side: Germany who played the villain in the first war decided that reprising it's role was the best thing to do, Italy, and Japan. There were three other main contenders that fought against this trio known as the Axis Powers: the Soviet Union, China, and Great Britain. Though these were the heavyweights, they were not the only ones in the ring. Once more, this conflict was a global matter that costed the lives of millions. But my home country, who was a big-time player in the previous war, wanted nothing to do with it. And much like the first war, they were provoked into it."

"How so, if I may ask?" Princess Luna inquired. "I find some interest in how this conflict involved that of your homeland."

"This is where it start's coming full-circle. December 7th, 1941, this was the day Japan decided to poke around and bombed a naval base belonging to our country, decimating much of our naval forces. This did not end very well for them. Enter, the United States of America, the fourth heavyweight, gloves completely off. We declared war with Japan, and Japan's allies declared war on us, you can figure out the rest. Meantime, we started our battles against the Japanese armies overseas, and trust me when I say this, they were a fighting ass. We were getting our asses kicked in the start, but the tide turned in our favor later in the conflict. Fast forward to the year of 1944, Italy and Germany bowed out, leaving Japan as our only problem. So we focused much of our efforts to the Pacific Ocean, and from then on is where their resources started to dwindle, if not already."

"So, how bad was the battles?" The guard questioned with curiosity.

"Each man had a story to tell, you don't wanna know what they were. I'll assure you that." I answered before getting to the main subject. "Now, forward to the year 1945. My home country, the United States, finally got to where they were prepared to invade the mainland of Japan. But it was brought to our attention that the deaths of our own soldiers could not be lightly weighted. Throughout this oceanic campaign, we lost over several million young lives, all by land, sea, and air. A much smaller nation provided such a fight to where it had us on the ropes from the very start. Invading the mainland would result in more of these casualties. But there was another option that our leader was presented, a weapon once pondered upon by the Germans, but gone unrealized due to the evasion of one scientist in particular."

"What was the weapon?" Questioned Senator Count.

"A single bomb."

Shining and the others began to look at me with bewilderment as I presented them with the ultimatum. "Well, that seems a bit anticlimactic, don't you think?" The guard asked.

"Sure, it does. You think it would be like that, but upon seeing the results of the final test of the weapon, one of the developers even quoted these words: I am become death, the destroyer of worlds. And the catch of it was that there was more than one of these made, but they would only use one at a time because they could only drop one before getting out to safety."

"Why one?" Shining questioned.

"Shining Armor, you and I had a brief discussion of trump cards, and I recall telling you that we've only used them in wartime twice." I went back to my phone at the projector and pulled up a picture of an aerial view of the city of Hiroshima before the drop. As the picture stood on the wall, I turned to the politician. "That number I gave you, what was it again?"

"One-hundred thirty-five thousand." Senator Count answered.

"Bingo." I said as I swiped the screen to show the after image.

Cadance gasped as she walked beside her husband. "Um... That last picture, there were buildings there. What are we looking at now?"

"You are looking at the same picture, only what could be considered as what the result was just four minutes later."

With a shortness in breath and rolling eyes, Cadance fainted where she stood as every voice in the room screamed in horror. Shining's ears fell back as he expressed a look of despair. Blueblood trembled as he tried to keep his hooves from clattering against the floor. Senator Count was left speechless. Celestia breathed heavily as she and Luna tried to contemplate the numbers that were just shared.

"A total of 135,000 casualties, 87,000 killed instantly. For those caught in the epicenter of the blast, only their shadows remained permanently etched onto the ground. Where they walked, the black figure that conjoined with their body was permantly set in place as the bodies themselves were vaporized into ash. Rock and concrete turned into dust, clouds bowed and broke in it's wake, structures crumbled, bridges blown away, homes reduced to their foundations, those who felt the heat had their clothes melted into their skin... Do you know what burning flesh smells like, do you know what it looks like when it cooks? It has a tendency to bubble a bit─"

"ENOUGH!" Shouted the mortified Senator Count. "You humans are atrocious!"

I walked up the the shaken senator and grabbed him by his horn as I proceeded to violently shove my words down his throat. "Oh please, don't even let me get into detail about the eighty million DEATHS in the war alone! THAT WAS OUR WORST FUCKING CONFLICT, TO WHERE WE DECIDED TO KILL OURSELVES EIGHTY MILLION TIMES OVER! AND YOU THINK WE WON'T HAVE THE CAPABILITY OF DECIMATING YOUR LITTLE FUCKING ROCK OF LAND!? LEARN YOUR PLACE, HORSE! THERE ARE SEVEN BILLION OF US, YOU! CAN'T! FUCK! WITH IT!"

My voice continued to echo throughout the halls of the parliament, my chest rose and fell rapidly as I tightly grasped the stallion's horn. My teeth clenched tightly as I stared an entire century's worth of conflict into his eyes. My anger started to have me think about violent thoughts, but I had to remember where I was and who was watching for me to come back to the present. His eyes watered as he essentially broke down into a foal. After taking in a deep breath, I set aside my pent-up rage and spoke in a quieter tone as I released him, letting him drop to the floor.

"That is what I will say to your enemies. Those that mock you, they don't know what you know now. They have no fucking clue as to what you've done. You've made yourself the top-dog, the chairman of the board in having me in this position. In four days after my summons, I've captured your guy. I fucked around because the investigation had been closed. Our instincts, once they're turned on, we become the deadliest thing to encounter. We have persisted through the worst the world had to offer, an ice age, several plagues, we've had wars that killed more than all of our epidemics and natural disasters combined. Thirty-five thousand years of being the world champs of evolution, populating faster than we can be killed. One dies and hundreds are born every second. They who claim against you, they are nothing but mere rugs to us, trophies to be mounted above our fireplace, to be sat on when we rest, to become our clothing, our food, our shelter, our tools. We are the genus species Homo Sapien, we are the death, destroyer of worlds..."

Turning my attention to Celestia, I gave her a gentle smile as I bowed before her. I knelt down and placed my right arm across my chest as my head rose, my eyes meeting with hers.

"And we, we are your friend."

A few whispers sounded throughout the room as they continued to debate amongst each other about what they had just learned. Even Celestia and Luna talked amongst each other as Blueblood and Shining both tended to an recovering Cadance. Just as I had started speaking, Cliff and Rickey had walked into the room with Twilight and the changeling commander, bound in chains.

"Your enemies shall become a footstool, a place to rest your weary hooves after a long day of work. Our alliance would yield much more than what your enemies could ever provide in a state of economical, military, political, or geographical consolidation. They could send their best, we'll send them back broken and bereaved. Would it not be better to have such a threat to call you friend than foe? Would you not accept us, even as our deeds continue to be of your benefit? Of course, there are hundreds that have passed on in the course of these past ten days, but there are thousands upon thousands who didn't have to see such a fate. So I ask you all, members of the Equestrian Parliament, allow me to be your shield, your sword, your trump card! And let us laugh at those who continue to criticize us, because they're the ones who chose to live under a rock while you all have chose to evolve. Let me lead the way, to an era of social renaissance. Those who wish to stand with me, stand as you are now."

The room remained silent, not a single sound filled the room. Looking through the crowd, I could only see faces of uncertainty. Glancing back towards the royals, I could see them quietly watching the politicians. At first the massive amount of confidence I had started to waiver a bit, then started to fall apart at the seams while they only looked towards one another. It felt as if all hope was lost, that is until...

*clap clap clap clap*

When I looked behind me, I could see both Rickey and Cliff clapping as they cheered. Though it did initially bring me some sort of comfort, I felt that it was a bit awkward that the only ones clapping were the only other two humans in the room.

"Yeah! Synergy! Corporate! All that other shit! Let's do it!" Rickey hollered, gaining a chuckle from both me and Cliff.

"Okay, let's go! Let's go unite!" Cliff added. Though his attempt was kinda cheesy, I appreciated his enthusiasm.

But then something else surprised me, the sound of a pair of hooves clopping together. "Woo-hoo! Let's do it for friendship! Yeah!"

I thought Cliff was corny, but Twilight was... wow.

Then suddenly, I heard the sound of hooves clopping from, surprisingly, the stands. A lone stallion on the left side rose to his hind legs and clopped his hooves excitedly. "Hear hear!"

Gradually, more cheers started to sound out throughout the entire room. Voices called out from either side of the room.

"Equestria will be well protected with your help!"

"Our country's military will be stronger than ever!"

"Our nation will stand tall above the others!"

"We will show them who's foolish!"

"Those Changelings don't stand a hell of a chance now!"

"Yeah! Let our banner hang high in the skies above!"

"Let our nation become the greatest there ever was!"

The entire room was giving me a standing ovation. Even the silent Senator Count could only watch quietly as the other members of the parliament stood in favor of keeping me around. Now I had them where I wanted.

"Let us stand together, both Equine and Man! Together we will build upon this land and show those beyond that we have evolved! You are the champions of your evolution, we are the champions of ours! And none, neither dragon nor changeling shall stand in our way! Together, WE EVOLVE!"

Rambunctious cheers fell from the mouths of every representative, senator, and lobbyist who stood. Even the guard that stood on the floor grew excited from the speech and started a "Long live Equestria" chant. I turned back around to the group of royals and gave them a smile and a salute. Turning my attention to the changeling commander, I scoffed back at him and moved my line of vision to both Cliff and Rickey chanting along with the politicians while looking towards each other with amusement. Blueblood looked on slack-jawed, his lips slowly transforming into a smile. Shining only proceeded to shout alongside the politicians after he was certain that Cadance was doing well. The pink alicorn walked up to me and used her magic to pull my ear towards her.

"What is this?"

With a smirk, I proudly answered her. "Your highness, this is the first step of removing your law."

"This was not what we had planned!"

"There never was a plan to begin with, Cadance. Unless you had something better, obviously my way would be quickest and the most decisive. Give me two months, and this law will be on it's way out."

Cadance released my ear, instead grabbing my head and pulling it down as she spoke. "Two months, two months for what!?"

"You'll see. I only ask you to play the part I want you to play. Now we could either ball hard or ball their way. Choose."

The chants continued as Cadance grew all the more disgruntled. "Nnnngh! We're gonna have a long talk about this later."

As Cadance walked off to speak with Twilight, I walked back to the table and grabbed my phone to check the time. As I finished, I started piecing together the next part of what I needed to do. The next time I'll speak to them, I'll have to have a brief discussion of human history and military tactics to keep arousing their nationalistic fancies. I need to keep them where I can give them what they want while simultaneously denying them of what they want to see of the royals.

Hypothetically speaking, I am going to edge these old guys to a denied orgasm... That sounds really gay as hell, but I'm secure enough in myself to make that analogy. You know what, yeah I'll play the part. I'll be similar to that of the high-class hookers they hide in their offices every once and a while. Blindfold them, whisper sweet words into their ears, stimulate the conversation, arouse their egos, get them excited in a variety of ways, and once it's time for the big finale, take it all away. And in their state of confusion, take the prize and leave them on the bed hogtied.

Now that's how you play dirty politics.

After the summons I had received quite a few questions from politicians, press, and royals alike. More often I had to divert some of the questions to Cliff and Rickey, as they were often questioning the details of the wars I had mentioned. Thankfully, the other two were more than eager to share their knowledge of the subject, but I did have them hold out on any information that pertained to the atomic bombs. I didn't want the politicians getting any ideas that I was advocating for a hostile takeover of every other nation. I also had to verify that to the press so that they wouldn't report something that was inaccurate.

My only objective was to tease them with the possibilities of an alliance with mankind. The warmongering talk would be saved for any future changeling threats. And knowing those guys, that might not be too small of a possibility. If anything, I had directed the guards to increase the security around Ponyville tomorrow because of the ceremony that would take place at noon tomorrow.

Unfortunately, due to the perpetual questioning sessions as well as engaging in talks with Princess Celestia, we had missed our final train out of town going towards Ponyville. So we were confined to Canterlot for the night. Again, Cliff and Rickey didn't have too many objections about it, which I started to find really strange because I would've figured that they would've been tired of the questions and wanted to go home and rest. I know this for certain, they're gonna want to go back after sleeping in these beds.

The hours have grown late and the celestial bodies changed places with one another. Celestia made it her personal responsibility to guide us to our rooms. She led us to stay in the west wing of the castle, providing us with a pretty decent view of the city just outside our balcony. While inside, we were too busy trying to make provisions.

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

"Not─FUCK!"

Cliff called out late and missed out on getting one of the beds. But I decided that since this was his first time here, I would take the sofa instead and let him have the bed. When I walked over to the sofa, I had remembered that sofas here was smaller than the human variety of a love seat. And it wasn't like they had recliners where I could just prop up and go to sleep on. I reluctantly made the choice to sleep on the floor.

"You sure you good down there?" Cliff questioned.

"I'm okay. I've had worse. I know one thing's for certain, I'm not sleeping on a tiny ass hotel bed they have at every other lodge here in town."

"Yeah, I was wondering if they had any larger mattresses?" Rickey asked while climbing into the bed.

"Sorry guys, they don't make them bigger than Luna-sized. The makers here have it somewhere in their brain where they don't make beds any larger than the one Celestia sleeps on unless it was a custom order. And even then, it's expensive as hell to get one that size as a custom order anyhow. I'd be looking at a deficit of around twenty-thousand bits."

"Damn." The both sounded in unison.

"Yeah, that's why I just brought my mattress over from my apartment to this world... And now Twilight's drooling on it every night."

"So you just let her take your stuff?" Rickey asked with a chuckle.

"We were sharing the damn thing anyhow." I argued.

"Yet you stay at a little hotel across the street from the castle. If anything, you're in the literal definition of a doghouse right now." Cliff joked while peeling back the covers.

"Yeah, it's like that, I guess. I could never really understand what I was thinking to not grab that on my way out. I suppose it would end so much potential back pain just to get on that." I said as Cliff handed me the comforter so that I could make a make-shift futon to sleep on.

"Oh yeah. You gotta get your mattress dude. Do you normally sleep on the floor or do you have a set of beds you use?" Rickey inquired while giving me his sheets to sleep under.

"I have two beds I racked together, but I'm having to sleep diagonally just to make it a little more comfortable. My feet and lower legs usually dangle on off the edge, but I've manage to make it work with the recliner they had. But it does limit where I can toss and turn. Also I fell off twice now. Standard twin mattresses for ponies aren't really a good thing for a human to sleep on unless they're shorter than five-feet four-inches."

"And you're six feet even, why didn't you buy another mattress back home so you can chill out there?" Rickey grabbed two pillows off the sofa and threw them down to me.

"Because I needed someplace where Twilight doesn't have full access. The last thing I need to wake up to is a purple pony staring me in the face."

"Why do you feel that way towards her? I thought you two were hittin' off." Cliff questioned while poking around on his phone.

"We... we're not at the moment. Twi and I got into a bit of a scuffle last night, admittedly it was my fault. And because of it, I find it increasingly difficult to talk with her."

"Oh yeah, she told us about that earlier. I didn't think you were the type of nigga to mess around."

With a sigh, I flopped back on the sheets with shame clouding my thoughts. "Yeah, me neither. I'm not gonna pass the blame on it, I did what I did and I broke a promise."

Rickey tossed yet another pillow from the sofa directly to my face. "So... what are you gonna do about the thing you got with Melanie?"

...Oh yeah... shit. "Argh... I guess I'll have to reclarify to her that we were supposed to be hanging out tomorrow. I can make some time after the ceremony."

"Uh, but didn't whatshername mentioned that she wanted to throw a party to celebrate tomorrow?" Cliff asked. "You know, the pink one."

"Pinkie? Yeahhhhh-shit. I can't do tomorrow."

"Actually, let me give you an idea." Rickey grabbed the pillow he threw at me from off the floor and swiped it at my head, only coming into contact with my arms shielding my face. "Invite Mel on over."

"What?"

"Seriously, I think Melanie should get to know what's all been going down for the past nine months. She's been the sole reason why your folks haven't made funeral arrangements for your ass. I think you owe it to her."

As much as I would like to, I don't know if I can do that. There's too much at risk for me to casually invite her over, especially now. "Uh... can it wait till later?"

"No, it can't wait till the day after tomorrow. It has to be tomorrow. Think about it this way, this party would prove to be an icebreaker between her and pony society." Rickey suggested while walking back to his bed.

"But it'll also introduce her to the fact that I'm dating someone that isn't a human girl. She'll be the first one out the gate to blow a fuse at that fact."

"Look, she did keep looking for you and she trusts you enough for her to be able to come to you whenever she's in trouble. You should be able to trust her enough with this."

Again, I'd understand that if not for one additional reason. "Yeah, but what if she tells my parents?"

"They're going to find out eventually. But you need to tell them before she does. And if you need the time to do so, then let her know that from the start so that she doesn't start mouthing off about it." Cliff stated.

"This is still going to lead me to trouble. What if something─"

Rickey was quick to interrupt me with a pillow thrown from his bed. "Dude, are you going to be stuck on what-if's for the rest of your life? Cause I would sure hate to live like that for the rest of mine."

"I don't really know if I can right now." I answered, throwing the pillow back at him.

Cliff threw his at me as he spoke. "Bruh, let me spit somthin' at you real quick. You saying you worried about Mel being too open with your folks, I see it as a potential doorway. If you can somehow convince her that this kind of life is something you'd be okay with and she comes to understand that you're happy living this way, then I'm sure you can move on up to your family. It ain't gotta be momma and pops, but it could be a cousin, a brother, niece or nephew, anything like that."

That's true, I've never thought of it that way. But that's still a huge risk to play on. "Okay, if I can miraculously convince Melanie that I'm not losing my mind, or that I'm some sick and disgusting man with an abnormal fetish, then I'll be more than happy to do it."

"We got you, bruh. All you need to do is call her tomorrow morning and let her know that you want her to come over and show her a surprise, and we'll take it from there."

"You honestly think that will actually work?"

"Dude, you already got it set up." Rickey confirmed. "She called me yesterday, letting me know that she was setting something up with you and that you had something to show her, what you called 'a belated birthday gift' could be the truth of what all happened for the past nine months." Rickey stated strongly.

"She's not gonna like it." I argued.

"That don't matter at this point. She might not like the circumstances, but she'll love you for keeping it one-hundred. And as time goes by, she'll grow to accept it. Once she experiences this for herself, it'll grow on her."

I'm still uncomfortable with this. "...Are you sure?"

"Yes!" They both answered in unison.

"You ain't got nothin' to lose at this point. If anything, it all goes up from here. You gotta make it for yourself, cus ain't nobody gon do if for you." Cliff said while coming over to grab his pillow back.

"Meh...I'll do it, if I can keep the pillow."

"Bruh, c'mon man! Quit playin!"

"Nah, you threw this at me! Your punishment will be not getting it back." I said as he initiated a tug of war.

"Seriously guys? Cliff, let him keep the pillow."

With a glance to Rickey, Cliff let go of the pillow. "Imma get yo ass back." He mumbled under his breath as he walked off.

"Goodnight!" I jokingly called out.

Rickey turned to his side to cut the lamp off, the room becoming lit by only the moon in the sky. For several minutes, it was so quiet that I couldn't hear even the crickets chirping outside. Perhaps it was because our room was several stories above the ground that the sounds have been reduced. But my mind grew curious in the silence, begging me to ask one last thing. "Hey, real question guys."

"What?" They answered at the same time.

"If Twilight told you what happened last night, why didn't you do anything like, I don't know, punch me in the face or throw me down a set of stairs, some stupid shit."

I could already see the silhouette of a man with dreads sit up in his bed, looking at me with an unrecognizable facial expression. "Man you dumb as fuck. Take your ass to sleep."

Rickey laughed to himself as he just flipped over. "You know, I always remembered that you were the main one in our pledge group that asked some of the stupidest questions. Why the hell you think we've been pelting you with pillows all damn night?"

"Okay, but why pillows?"

I heard a scoff come from Rickey's side of the room, followed by a disgruntled sigh from Cliff. "Okay, then let me ask you this. Would you rather get some pillows in the face, or would you rather catch some hands?" Cliff asked.

I'm not even gonna pretend I want the latter, they've been doing fine with the options they've given me already. "I think pillows are fine. Thanks, goodnight." I quickly answered while turning onto my side.

"Stupid ass..." Rickey muttered before letting the room become engulfed by silence.

Though that wasn't exactly the question I wanted to ask, it did answer yet another that was on the back of my mind. I didn't seem to have any issue with going out of my way to ask this one, if it hadn't been for the fact that they had already answered it. And they were right, I did need to tell Mel about what's been going on. She's been in the need of knowing since that moment she planted her lips on mine. I can't let her fall too deep for me otherwise I'd only end up hurting her even more than I would just telling her the truth from the start. I might as well man-up and face the consequences. In order to improve my relationships with other people or ponies, I needed to come clean.

...And I'll do just that tomorrow.

Oh come on! "Please tell me that was under the covers"

*sniff sniff-cough* "Rickey... Nigga..."

"Sorry, had to let that one go. Pony food gave me gas."

Well fuck, I guess I'll be inhaling green eggs and spam for the rest of the night.

Agony is the word of the month. It turns out that all that free time I was promised was then shifted towards a SHITLOAD of studio-time and gigs. Granted, I'm getting a new keyboard for my troubles, but I'm still ripping and running through town every day. It's given me plenty of time to think about stuff, but when it comes to jotting it down I don't get the time to do so.

So with that bit of news, I apologize for the long silence and lack of chapters. But at least this one should be a decent size.

As far as the story's progression, I know it's been hard for me to get even a single day in one chapter anymore. This should be my breakthrough of that trend, as it is actually a full day (plus highlighting the events of last night). But at the very least the politicians that once mocked Nondis will be quiet for quite some time... well most of them.

But over the next few chapters, Nondis will be hitting some points where he'd never thought he'd experience. As to what that is, I can't tell you right now (classified: top secret).

Onto the next chapter I go, thankfully I've already have an established direction of where that will head.