So... this is a thing.

When I was unconscious, both Cliff and Rickey were given status as Honorary Equestrians due to their heroic bravery and courageous sacrifice. Hence they were given full permission to come and leave as they wished. And especially given that they often come to my place in order to pay a visit, Twilight saw it as inconvenient and offered to build both of the boys portals. And they said yes.

So now the media is on my ass asking about them both, Shining's on my ass to get them recruited into the military even after I specifically informed him that it would be out of the question, Twilight's on my ass about trying to see if I can finally introduce her to my world outside of my apartment... and Melanie's on my ass for not being able to come through today.

So what do I do in the midst of all this chaos, especially if this is supposed to be my day off?

Issue a statement to the media about how I will no longer accept any questions that involves the human race, remind Shining that my no is still a fucking no, politely inform Twilight about how weird it is for humans to date anything outside of other humans, and casually explain to Mel that I was and still am out of town due to 'job reasons'.

Also, I managed to get a voice message from dad. He hounded on me about not visiting home since I had gotten back. I'm being swarmed by several townsfolk about how heroic I was for saving whoever lived. I've received a lot of flack from politicians for recovering only one-hundred-thirty-nine bodies out of a missing total of three-hundred-plus victims.

Those fuckers are lucky that they just said this to a person in the newspaper rather than to my face, otherwise I'd be more than happy to ship THEM off to the changeling queen's doorstep. Let's see if they'll find who's missing from there. One of them even had the gal to call me irresponsible and noted that this success had, quote-unquote, "Failed to yield any sort of valuable information as to apprehending the changeling commander responsible for the Canterlot attacks." And on top of that, they note that Celestia's involvement was a sign of weakness in the guard, stating how the guards have fallen in image since my tenure as captain.

...I really need to get my head out of the newspaper.

Aside from all the fallout of this bullshit. We also had to give out hush money to the families that watched us take two changelings in captivity. Thankfully they don't know their ranks or who they even were. The only thing that they needed to know was that the ones responsible would be apprehended "soon".

Aside from all of that mess, I am more than happy to say that I now have a day to myself...

Correction, no I don't.

"There will be no further questions at this time. All information regarding the two humans are to remain classified until further notice. Have a nice day!"

A throng of reporters and photographers moaned and shouted with disgust as I walked away. The few that tried to pursue me were then directed elsewhere by a few guards. To their frustration, I made sure that there were some capable of using advanced magic to detain any ponies from questioning me any further. I had also placed pegasi guards around the area to prevent any reporters from flying overhead.

After that was done, I took to Sugarcube Corner to snag a quick bite to eat. Unfortunately, pony hospital food consists primarily of hay and oats, so I couldn't fill up on that, especially dry oats. And thankfully, my favorite baker was in the building.

"Hey, Non-non! Want something sweet?"

"Two cherry danishes, undevoured, two cubes of sugar, one teaspoon of cream and one cup of coffee."

"Coming right up!"

As she walked off, I began to reminisce on the simple beginnings of how all of this came to be. Several months back, you wouldn't dare catch me being a member of any nation's military, or punching out abusive boyfriends. I've managed to do both in less than a year, but that's not that significant of an accomplishment.

Another thing I have to take pride in is my willpower and self-preservation when it came to lustful encounters. From month number five, I have been the topic of every mare's conversation at one given point. And here I am still struggling to wank one out every now and then. I guess without the porn, it does become a little difficult to use the imagination. And considering that ponies are a different breed altogether, the imagination tends to run a bit dry... that was until one faithful day where Twilight decided to hike her tail up and show me that she wore enchanted chastity rings.

From then on, my imagination ran at a million miles an hour, but my body was getting tired from the long days outside, in court, dealing with various issues, and fighting. So once again, I was reduced to being tired and going to sleep while choking the snake. Made for some rather awkward mornings.

But I know that the one thing that really threw my mind over a loop, the one thing that sparked my interest in ponies was one event. One momentous night, a pony decided she wanted to dance after I had voiced my refusal to do so. She pins me on a wall and she parks her pink ass on my pelvis. The one thing that enhanced my desire to get with ponies was the vanilla perfume that Rarity wore, the way her hooves pulled me down as she soldered her lips on my cheek, prompting me to show a bit of excitement for her. The thing that finalized my desire for a pony was the scent of lavender invading my nostrils as Twilight planted her lips on mine. And then it transcended a kiss, going from an exchange of tongues to her straddling me.

Yeah, this kinda went on for months now. And the one time I get laid, I have to deal with a bunch of consequences pertaining to a reason that's completely archaic and irrational. And now I know that the politicians want my ass dead because of a purple princess deciding to ride me like I was her first toy.

Wait a minute... why am I even thinking about sex in a public venue anyhow?

"Here you go, Nonnums."

I couldn't be anymore impatient as I grabbed the fork that she placed down on the table. But I was more than surprised to know that she had gotten my order intentionally wrong. Instead of two danishes, she made me wildberry pancakes topped with syrup and whipped cream. Of course, my coffee was placed on the side.

"Pinkie, did you─"

"Nonzie, you deserve it. You saved a bunch of ponies yesterday. And the ones that you couldn't save, you brought them back to their families anyhow. They wore smiles on their faces, they passed on in peace, knowing that they were in good hands. This kind of thing you always do for us, you did it for everypony. So I can't just let you go around with a partially filled tummy and a lighter wallet. This one's on me."

"Pinkie..." My grandfather would always say that it's best to take what is given to you with appreciation rather than argument. Of course his reason behind it is that he would give me a bunch of clothes for Christmas when I was a kid. But I was not going to say no to free food. "Thanks."

"You're Ponyville's big hero. You deserve it."

Before I could start digging in, I had felt a soft presence mashing against my cheek. I turned my eyes to the side to see the pink party pony planting a wet one on me, humming gleefully as she pressed. As she removed herself, I could feel the area she kissed become drastically colder, causing me to place a hand over it.

Pinkie then pulled a chair from a nearby table and sat it in front of me as she spoke. "So, what's your plans for today? I heard that you have the day off."

I started cutting into the stack of pancakes as I answered her. "Well, I was going to try having a day to myself. I have a LOT of things to do on the other side. I'm supposed to be visiting my folks and trying to get them to chill out on my 'disappearances'. I guess I should start off with calling mom, she's been the one who was worried all this time."

"My dad is completely unreal." Pinkie confessed as she pulled the danishes she was going to give to me out of her mane. "He wants me to bring Cheese over for a dinner with the family. He also keeps bugging me on why I haven't... you know."

"What?"

"Well, he wants to know why I haven't won you over yet."

"Seriously? Did you tell him that I was dating someone else?"

"Yeah... In speaking of which, I have a question."

"And I may have an answer."

"Since you and Twilight been together, I haven't seen either of you make any plans for going out on a date. So would it be called 'dating' if you both haven't really gone out?"

"I..." She has a very valid point, and a troublesome one at that. Not once have Twilight and I made any kind of accommodations for anything like that. But it was for a good reason. The first three weeks were dedicated to getting me installed as an official citizen of Equestria, the two and a half months that followed was me getting yelled at by Shining Armor, and the past two weeks have been a chaotic mess of occurrences. So no, we haven't even had the time to have one.... especially since we're on break from our relationship. I suppose I could set one up at the end of this trial period to see if we can still connect.

"Non-non?"

"I guess so. I mean, we already took it as far as it could possibly go outside of marriage... and we even got in trouble over it."

"Yeah, Twilight mentioned something about it back at the castle when you both had that big falling out."

I felt a bit of embarrassment as I recalled the event. She even said it out loud to where every guard in the castle could hear it. I guess it would make sense that she'd know about it by now. "Okay, so you know we went there."

"Also, what exactly caused you two to break up?"

"We haven't broken up yet." I corrected. "It's just a break for us to evaluate our options. Whoever wants to move on can do so. And whatever happens stays between that individual. I already told her that she could do whatever she wanted, and she agreed that I would be subject to the same limitations."

"Meh... I don't think it's really fair, per se." She said as she wolfed down one of the danishes.

"How so?"

"Well, Twilight can't just go around town rutting stallions. There are restrictions placed on her for that."

"Oh yeah. But I don't think I'm going to do anything that gets out of hand. If a trip to third base is as far as she can go, then I don't mind stopping there."

Pinkie sighed as she shook her head. "No, that's not what I'm talking about. I just don't want you to do something that the two of you will regret. I like seeing you two happy."

As I finally took my first bite of my breakfast, I shivered in response to the flavors that exploded in my mouth. A mix of cherries, blueberries, strawberries, bananas, and nuts abducted my tastebuds and sent them into overdrive. My mouth watered as the light, fluffy, buttery texture melted in my mouth. "Oh wow, these are amazing... But seriously, I wanna ask you a personal question."

"Okay, go for it."

"Are you and Cheese happy with one another?"

Pinkie hesitated for a brief second, mainly because she started hounding down the second pastry. "Sure. We may have a few issues that needs working out here and there, but I think we get along pretty nice."

I noticed that she began to stare at me for a little bit, then look away with a nervous smile on her face. She tapped her hoof repeatedly on the table. I guess she was still somewhat flustered over my being here, asking her more personal questions about her relationship. "Last question, then we can change the subject. Do you ever feel angry over how I kinda took a siesta from your life just to bring you two closer together?"

"Very. At that time I was practically ready to give all of myself to you, and you just disappeared. Not really disappear-disappear because then we would be sending out rescue parties to find you, and then we'd probably be upset if we couldn't find you and try to look for you some more. Then I would really start to be a crying mess who couldn't control her emotions because the one I adored had completely abandoned her... But it actually stung a little more since I knew where you were exactly and not knowing why you decided not to talk to me. It was the main reason why I brought it up at our last friendship gathering."

"Because I was trying to get you both together and separate myself to minimize my presence so that you and he could grow closer in the intimate sense."

"I guess. Wouldn't really mind if I had dragged you a random closet so we could get to know each other in that same way."

WOAH! We've just hit the fifth gear here. "Have you... ever thought about that day you... tried to drag me upstairs─"

"Every single day." She confessed while biting her lower lip.

Well that was a little more forward than I would've expected her to be. "Really?"

"Yeah, still have thoughts. But they only stay that way. I mean, how weird would it be if Cheese and I were romping it out and your name were to come out?"

I'd say that would be a major boner-killer, unless you were that kind of guy who'd be willing to fuck the memories out of a girl, which is pretty impressive. "...Has that actually happened?"

"Only twice, but it was at the very beginning of our reunion. I don't think I would mind having that thought stay in my head, locked away somewhere. But sometimes I do kinda close my eyes and let my imagination do the work... *sigh* Cheese is a great colt, but... the sexual appeal is... not really all there."

Oh wow, that's a bit of a problem. "So what do you think is the cause of that?"

"Well, for starters, our first time was actually his first time. And I might have touched on this a teeny bit but stallions don't really last as long as we mares would prefer, let alone putting up a decent performance on the first go. Let's just say that we finished a little sooner than what I had in mind."

Cadance said the same thing about Shining just yesterday at the weapons demonstration. So apparently that's a thing here. "Really then? So what's your demands, like what are mares usually looking for?"

Pinkie pursed her lips as she hummed to herself. "We want stuff like a ten-minute session, we get about three or four. So it's kinda hard to get to the finish line when you get a stallion that's pretty much a one-and-done deal. Cheese and I are working on his endurance and he's improving, but I usually end up finishing on my own."

I just wanted to ask myself this, why are we talking about sex in a public venue? Then again, I have a friend on the other side of the mirror who wouldn't mind going into detail about this kind of stuff, even while we're at the mall or in class. "Oh, so do you guys go to a specialist or something?"

"Personal question, Nonnie."

This whole conversation is personal beyond belief! You're just now calling that out!? "Sorr─."

"My turn!" Aaaaand she flipped the script, typical of her. "So, since you and Twilight managed to go all the way, what was your performance like?" She asked with a slight blush. "I'm kinda curious on how you humans mate."

Wow, this conversation went from zero to light-speed. "Well, I don't usually believe in the 'kiss-and-tell' thing, but since you kinda opened up..." A whole fucking lot. "She and I really had the foreplay thing down. But I guess her big thing was edging. I'd get close as shit but then she'd pull off and haul ass somewhere. Plus she'd use a bunch of spells to prevent me from finishing off. In general, I was a frustrated ass trying to desperately get my rocks off."

"That's nice to know, but I didn't ask about you and Twilight." She stated while finishing the last danish. "I asked about you and you alone, silly."

Oops... I might've told a little too much on Twi's end. She's gonna kill me for that. "Well, I may have done well? Ish? I don't know. I'm probably thinking in terms of female human standards. I may have done pretty shitty now that I think more on it."

"That's the thing! You're talking about human standards, but how is it applied to the equine standard? Mares want a ten-minute romp, so how long do human... mares try and go for?"

Yeah, I never really did get around to explaining the differences between human males and females. I'll give her a pass on that one. "Well, there are some women on my planet that has the same issues. Sometimes they want a full thirty-minute thing like they see in porn, but realistically speaking, it doesn't work like that. And those guys usually spend about ninety minutes to two hours filming all of that shit. A female orgasm usually takes at most seven to eight minutes to occur. And even then, most sessions are about fifteen minutes on average."

Pinkie stared at me with her jaw melting to the floor. "Holy fudge pops! Are you kidding me Non-non? Thirty minute sessions? I'm sorry, but I can barely do eighteen, and that's me on marathon-mode. Anything after that, I start to get a little sore." She stated as she kinda sank into her chair.

"Yeah I feel you there. Anything more than about three in a row for me and I'm starting to feel the burn."

"So... what's the human recovery time like?"

"Varies from person to person. If you got it like that, then you can actually go for several minutes. The professional guys usually bust one and get right back into it. There are some guys who can do the same thing, I guess I could do it after a few seconds to let off the steam and get going if I really feel like it."

"Twilight Sparkle, you lucky... NNNNGH!" Pinkie muttered with a bit of frustration while biting down on her hoof.

Both of us looked back towards the front door as we watched a familiar face staring at us while another random pony entered into the room, the white unicorn mare covered her mouth with a large blush on her face. "Oh... um, Rarity. How long have you been standing there?" Pinkie asked.

The fashionista looked towards the green mare and whispered. "Um, I'm afraid that the counter is closed for the moment. Could you come back in a bit?"

"What she said." Pinkie confirmed as her face turned into an actual shade of rose red.

The mare shrugged her shoulders and walked out of the front door, the bells jingling as she left. Rarity then carried on with her explanation. "Well I wanted to come by and ask if you were busy this afternoon, Nondis. But I may have... interrupted a sensitive conversation?"

Yeah... really. "How long were you here? We didn't hear the bells when you walked in."

"Well you two were talking a bit and Pinkie screamed out something about fudge pops. So I came in and found that you two were talking about... things." She stated while she looked in every other direction except for ours.

"Yeah, get this Rare, Nondie can actually─"

"I need you at the boutique so that I can get your measurements for a new tux I want you to wear for me." Rarity interrupted, trying to change the subject.

"Why a tux?" I inquired.

"Well, Mayor Mare will be honoring you sometime later this week. It would be best that you show up in your best outfit. I also informed both Cliff and Rickey to dress their part as they too will receive an honor." Rarity said while pulling out a small notepad. "I also do wish to capture their measurements as well so that I may gift them both a cute little outfit."

Okay, I guess I can do that. "Well if it's possible, I wanted to have the rest of my afternoon to myself so I can go back to my world and take care of some matters there. Why don't we head over to the boutique right now?"

"Nondis, I understand your need to reconnect on that end, but don't you think that you're pushing yourself a little too hard? You just got back on your feet from the recent operation. Even the others said that they would need a day or so to process what all transpired." Rarity suggested.

"Yeah, but I need to talk with my folks. Plus I almost died yesterday, so I'd much rather get in a final goodbye. After all, tomorrow is not promised to anyone."

As soon as I finished saying those words, both mares sunk their heads as they began to dismay. With frowns and folded ears, they both sat quietly in place. "Non, don't ever say that again."

"We've already have far too many things to worry about in our daily lives. Don't have us sulk in the possibility of losing you, please."

I guess my words were a little too realistic. I didn't mean to put a damper on the whole thing. "I'm sorry. I guess I was just quoting my grandpa. But still, I wanna clear some things out over there. I also have─"

"Well darling, if you're in such a rush, then you should march from behind that table and to the boutique so that I may capture your measurements. Each time I look up, you begin to lose inches in certain areas and you gain in others."

Reasonable, considering that I do a lot of strenuous activity. "Okay, then let's go."

"But not until you finish your food first!" Pinkie chided as she ran around the table just to keep me seated in place. "I didn't cook all of that just for you to have left-overs."

"And then we'll talk about your abhorrent beverage decisions come later. But for now, I will rid you of that coffee and substitute it with a nice cup of tea." She said as she walked off with my cup of coffee... that I've been meaning to drink.

"Hey, it's what he ordered."

"And you know that it's not good for him. Tea is the best way to make sure that his vocal cords are safe from all that screaming and shouting."

"I suppose you're right. But I don't think it's any of our business what he drinks."

"But it is our business to make sure that our friend continues to remain in good health and well-dressed."

"And to make sure he's also happy."

Geez, these two. It's like my mom and my aunt when I was younger. "Okay, I get it!"

A few minutes later, Rarity walked me over to the boutique. As soon as we walked in, she informed me that the tux would be a bit before completion, as she needed to go out and find some sapphires, cut them down to size, and clean them off. She didn't hesitate in telling me to take off my shirt either, but I had gotten so used to it that I just start stripping at the front door. Granted this time, she was a bit slower than usual today.

As she walked off upstairs, I spent some time in front of a mirror. As I stared at the reflection, I had began to see how many scars had showed up on my chest and arms. I had managed to get several gashes on my shoulders and arms, and there was the one spot that seemed slightly cut into on the right side of my chest. I guess my chest did take a significant beating from the changeling brute yesterday. And my abdomen seemed as if I was ready to chisel up in appearance.

...Wow... I can actually be vain enough to say this. I look kinda buff.

Rarity came walking back downstairs with a bunch of stuff in her magical grasp. But very little of it looked like an actual tuxedo. Instead it looked like armored padding for some odd reason.

"Put this on." I tilted my head as she tossed me the large padded vest, along with what appeared to be a protective mask.

"Uh, I thought I was supposed to be taking it easy today." I said while holding the vest and mask.

"You are, but I'm going to need to see something about you first. So, suit up."

I looked at the stuff she gave me with a bewildered expression before shrugging and putting it on. I ultimately decided that she was doing this to prove a point about something... whatever it was. As I began placing it on, I had noticed that each and every part of the vest was made to the specific measurements from my last visit. Though I continued to praise her for her ability to make human clothing, I had not anticipated that she could actually make stuff like this. By the time I finished putting on the suit and the mask, I had noticed that there was the hilt of a fencing foil pointed towards me. "Um... what is this?"

"It's a sword. We're going to have a little spar, you and I. It's just for a bit, you can take that suit off once we're done."

A spar, what are we sparing for? "Um... can I get an explanation on what exactly this is supposed to be for?"

"A friendly competition. Of course, it does come with it's own consequences."

"So you're betting on this? How much?" I don't wanna do this for a variety of reasons. The first thing is because I'm trained to fight, the second is because I'm a male, and the third thing is because I don't see any profit from doing something like this.

"Oh, it's just a small wager. It will be decided in a series, three of five wins." She stated as she simply grabbed another foil without wearing any sort of armor.

"Um... I'm not doing this. First, I don't have anything to profit from it. And second, you're not wearing any armor."

Rarity smiled as she used her hoof to slightly flex the blade. "I don't believe you realize just how much of a fool you're making yourself out to be, Nondis dear. The armor is for your protection."

...Did she just imply that I was going to lose? "Come again?"

With a smirk, she used her magic to point her sword at me. "What I'm saying is that you're not strong enough to beat me."

"I get that you're trying to entice me to come at you, but I'm not interested. I don't want to fight you."

"So I suppose Shining's sentiments of you being weak is something of a oft-unspoken truth?"

She almost got me there. "No, I can handle my own. I'm just not willing to challenge you."

"My dearest Nondis, I'm not saying that I could teach an old dog new tricks... but I can teach a stubborn one how to sit."

Yeah... she just implied that I was a─ "Are you actually calling me a dog?"

"Well, I wouldn't exactly put it that way. There's this special way you have of saying it. Let me try to remember. Let's see... hmm... I remember that it was a vulgar connotation that you'd use on rare occasions... Ah, yes! Bitch."

She just... she just out and said it. "You... *srnk* Bwahahahaha!"

"Well, are you or are you not?" She asked with a serious tone.

"Hahaha... phew... I'm so gonna kick your ass." I said with a finger wave and a giggle.

"Okay. GO!"

As soon as I looked up from laughing, all I could see was a while mare with a sword lunging for me. Immediately, I stopped laughing and took a step to the side. Before I could raise my sword, I felt something poking me in the neck. I looked down to find a smug-faced fashionista holding her sword against my throat.

I knew then that she wasn't playing any games. "Damn. Okay, I'll stop laughing."

"One of my biggest peeves is not being taken seriously, Nondis. You would do well to pay attention to what's in front of you." She stated as she pulled the sword from my neck. "That's one-nil."

"When did you get that fast?" I asked, completely baffled at how quick she took me on.

"Oh, well I do happen to take a few courses in self-defense, I've also practiced swordplay in my spare time with Rainbow Dash, magic dueling with Twilight, and urged myself to master the art of negotiation. There are many things I have faced in my time of being the Element of Generosity, and there are still many more dangers for the girls and I to face. So saying that I am incapable of fighting you is nothing more than nonsense. You have your secrets while I have mine."

So in other words, I actually have to get serious for a minute. "Okay, I can respect that."

"And you will, Nondis." Rarity backed off of me, giving us enough room to see the gap between our swords. Her smile dissolved as she looked at me crossly, almost with a quiet anger and a stony demeanor. "I won't give you any other choice."

But what I saw in total scared me. It wasn't the fact that she looked intimidating, which her elegant appearance sort of detracts from. It was the fact of how beautiful she was. I actually had goosebumps looking at her, and it made me see her differently than many other times I've done so. I was actually terrified that she had this effect on me, where all I could do was... mesmerize. It's like one of those moments where you look at someone and you find that they look amazing.

...Wait, what am I even thinking about? My mind's all over the place today.

"Keep your eyes on me." She said in a low voice.

I had no intentions of it. My eyes were locked onto her, reading her bodily movements. Watching her as her right foreleg raised, her hind legs moved towards me. As soon as her hind legs met with her anchored left foreleg, her body lunged forward. In the fraction of a second, she disappeared from where she once stood, darting towards me with sword in tow. Taking up a defensive posture, I kept my sword in front of me as she approached.

Her first swing came quickly, striking upward as she pressed forward. I took a step back to keep myself in balance as I dodged the blow. A second strike came slashing back down, to which I parried off to the side. As her sword fell away, I took the opening and slashed forward. She ducked quickly, avoiding my blow while she regained her form. When I went in for a second strike, she used her free hoof to bat my arm aside while curling her sword back around into my abdomen.

"Two-nil." She said triumphantly. "I suppose you guards aren't all that up to snuff when it comes to sword combat."

To be perfectly fair, sword combat in this world is heavily based to unicorn magic and hooves, meaning that the blade is either free-moving with weak strikes or firm with strong strikes. But too much of either was considered a quick and easy way to get one's self killed. And my wrist provided that middle ground where I could twist my blade as freely as a unicorn or stand as firm as an Earth pony. I've taken on multiple stallions at once in training and have successfully beaten even the likes of Shining Armor.

But Rarity was in a class of her own. She mastered the balance between magic and hoof. But I had to point out that she still had an advantage of her being able to use her magic so fluidly, accurately... Then again she's the pony who puts thread into needles without any effort. She has the advantage of knowing surgical precision. Her timing is unusually odd in count. And she does make it difficult for me to be able to telegraph her moves. I was just thrown off by her and her alone.

In other words, I got caught looking. DAMMIT NONDIS, FUCKING FIGHT!

Shaking my head and placing the foil aside, I proceeded to slap the sense back into my brain. "Okay, come on. You got this. Concentrate." I said to pep myself into fighting. "Focus. You. Got. This."

"So... do you admit that I've made an old dog such as yourself sit?"

Her banter quickly moved me back from the realm of thought to reality. "Sorry, I'm hardheaded. I don't learn very easily. You can ask my folks, they'll say the same."

"Oh, well I suppose I wouldn't mind putting you down then. Disobedience does not appeal to me."

"Really, then what does?"

The white unicorn cracked a smile as she turned her back towards me. "Well, how does unconditional servitude sound?"

"Like I'm a slave." I answered in deadpan.

"Very good, that tells me you're learning after all."

I groaned as I waited impatiently for her to start our next match. "What is the point of this conversation? Is it to distract me?"

"Oh no, I know how to distract you... but I'm not sure that you would be willing to see what I'll distract you with." She said with a swish of her tail.

Okay, I really need to finish up and leave before this turns into something unexpected and one of us comes away hurt. "I think I'm done here."

"No, you're not."

Without warning, Rarity leapt around and fired a magic bolt past my head, which caused me to lose a bit of my balance as I dodged it. With all of the momentum in her favor, she swung from the side I stumbled to. I stumbled a bit more as I continued to struggle with regaining my balance. She then jumped into the air and pounced on me, causing me to land flat on my back as she pinned me against the ground. With a smug grin, she chuckled slightly while her magic summoned the sword to tightly press into my neck.

"...Now, you're done here."

I looked back at her with disbelief and frustration. "You cheated."

"Ah-ah-ah-ah! I did not cheat, I distracted you and warned you beforehoof. You were unprepared, and so you lost. Three-none."

"I want a rematch." I responded rather grumpily.

"Oh, suck it up. You lost, which means you lose the wager."

"We never agreed on anything." I stated, thinking back to the beginning of our 'spar'. "You just said go and kept pounding at me until you managed to hit something."

"That is where you're wrong. If you go back to the second session, my first few strikes were to maintain control of your central line. Thus once I gained that advantage, I began to read your body language. Believe it or not, Nondis, your motions are quite readable. You step left with the intention to swing from right towards the legs, and countered by removing your sword from play. After, you were fully exposed to me and my blade."

"Okay, you got that ONE round."

"Then explain what happened in rounds one and three."

"You caught me off guard on─"

"That's where you need to stop. I caught you off guard TWICE."

I tilted my head as she pressed the blade even deeper against my neck. "You did a dick move on that last one."

"When in battle, you fight to survive. There is no such thing as honorable combat, or a 'fair fight' if your objective is to survive. You have shown this yourself that one day where you charged at the changelings just down the street from here. I wanted to see if you could recreate that little performance against moi."

"And I didn't. Sorry for the disappointment." I responded dryly.

Pulling the foil off my neck, she slowly got off of me as she spoke. "And for your failure to do so, I demand a reimbursement for this tiny little stint."

As I pulled off the mask, I took a deep breath as I felt the pressure on my chest lessen. "Okay, you won. You won through questionable means, but you got me. So, what's this debt I owe you?"

"Tomorrow evening."

...Seriously? "I'm not so sure as to what you─"

Rarity trotted up to me and used her magic to yank me down to eye-level. In a sweet, low voice, she whispered just inches away from my face. "You know exactly what I'm referring to. Tomorrow evening, no later than five-fifty. Our chariot will arrive by six. Come dressed in casual outwear. And treat me as I am your very own."

Her grasp at the front of my shirt didn't get any looser as I spoke. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

"And I don't think your 'break' with Twilight is as you say it is. To me it looks like you two flirt as often as you have once before, just with arguments added. Quit walking on your 'infinite line' and going nowhere. Branch out, assess your options, you can never truly find what you're looking for if you remain complacent with what you currently have."

"I have a feeling you want me to break up with Twilight for good." I answered back.

"I never said such a thing. What I'm merely saying is this: if you're on break, then go out and venture. That is the purpose of your Saving Grace clause, is it not?"

"I promised Twilight that I wouldn't use it."

The white mare tightened her telekinetic grip and dragged me in even closer to her, our lips just mere centimeters apart. "I'm going to tell you a little secret. Twilight is naive, she doesn't know what she wants. She's like you, willing to stay on the first choice she makes, unaware of the consequences and the outcome of that choice would be. The both of you have decided to venture out, so now I'm opening that door for the both of you to explore your options. I'm doing this as her friend, and yours."

She gave me a quick peck on the cheek before she whispered into my ear.

"Plus, I know very many things about you that she wouldn't know just by looking. Isn't that right, Patricia?"

"Uguk!" ...I'm genuinely scared shitless. "How did you know my middle name? I never told anyone that."

"You used to leave your wallet on the ground a lot when you first got here. I'd graciously return it to your room... among other things."

"Clothes?" I questioned, considering that was how I managed to obtain a solid majority of my current wardrobe.

She quickly grabbed my head and pulled me towards her as she leaned forward to set her lips just in front of my ear. "You could say that."

I remained paralyzed as she merrily trotted off. I was reduced to a stone statue, standing on it's knees as I questioned myself on what had just transpired in the past ten minutes. The only thing that I could remember was that Rarity challenged me to a duel, won, gambled me into a date, and told me that she knew my middle name. But I did manage to find the ability to adjust my eyeballs to her. When she walked, she had that similar sway she once had, more specifically after the day she and the others made me wear a dress. Only difference was that she stopped to look back this time.

"Oh, and that will be all for today, sir captain."

...Just who the hell is this mare?

After another hour or so of dealing with more reporters trying to juice more information from me, I left Ponyville and traveled back to my world. When I went to check in on some messages, I began to remind myself that I could have done that without crossing over. I know that as of yesterday, I could check them in Ponyville. But I suppose it does take some getting used to the fact that I can indeed use my phone in the pony world, but only if the portal to my world is open. As a result, I had managed to get a few messages from Cliff and Rickey expressing their concerns about my well-being. I had a voicemail from dad, telling me that I needed to speak with the family more often. And another message from Melanie asking if I was free today.

So being that I was in lack of a ride home, I decided that I could knock two birds out with one stone. I pulled up her number and tapped the screen on the green call button. As the phone rang through, I started to get on the computer to check in on some of the recent news. Apparently, not much else has happened outside of typical human developments. ISIS executed another journalist, the chokehold death situation in New York has gotten everyone in an uproar, and Robin Williams is still gone.

I don't even know why I check the news anymore if it's all going to be depressing.

*click* "Hello?"

I turned my attention to the girl on the other side of the line. "Hey, Mel. What's good?"

"Nondis! I thought you died for a second. Where the hell are you?"

"What do you mean 'you thought I died?' I'm still alive, apparently." I answered.

"Well you just told me that you were working and I thought that you would at least let know what time you had got off your shift."

"Yeah. Sorry bout that. Hey, have you gotten any info on your case yet?"

"Yeah, he's apparently willing to snitch us out. But I guess they won't have much of a case if there's nothing to support his viewpoint."

In other words, they can't go by his testimony if there's no evidence to back it. Glad it's all disposed-of, so to speak. "Gotcha. So, I have a favor to ask you."

"Okay, go for it."

"Do you think you could ride me over to my folk's house? My parents have been really on my case when it comes to visiting them."

"And I don't blame them. It's like you wander off to another planet or some shit. We can barely get a hold of you. I mean it was nice that I could hear you talk to me yesterday, but I'd much rather have you see me instead."

"What for?"

"I miss your company? I don't know."

"Okay... I don't mind breaking you off some gas money─"

"I really don't give a fuck about that right now. I'm on a full tank. I've been needing to get the hell out of this apartment, but I had no one to do it with. So you already know my answer."

"Great, what time will you be over?"

"I'm getting out of the car now and headed towards the stairs."

Gotta admit, she's fast. "Okay, well I'm on my way out there."

"Great. Now get off your ass and come entertain me!"

"Miss you too."

After I hung up, I grabbed my keys and took to the door. When I had walked out, I had immediately regretted not wearing a jacket. The temperatures were vastly different from Equestria. At least at this current time, the weather still feels like late-summer going into mid-September. And then again, it was late October so it's to be expected that I would need a jacket when it's almost Halloween. I walked back into my room and reached for my closet, trying to find something that would somewhat match what I have on. And knowing Rarity's particular style, it will be hard to do so with basic human clothing.

My head shot upwards as I backed out of my closet and turned to the bathroom. While I slowly walked towards it, I felt my heart rate increase with each step. When opened the door, I didn't see anything that resembled something that would walk on fours. So I turned around to resume what I was doing earlier.

"Heeeello there."

"AHH!" My heart skipped several beats while I jumped in response to see Twilight sitting where my bed used to be. But that wasn't the thing that scared the soul out of my body. It was the fact that her winged, horned, four-legged likeness was sitting right in my bedroom. "Holy fucking shit!"

"What?" She asked confusedly. "I just came around because of─."

I clenched my hand around her muzzle to quickly silence her. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I just wanted to drop on by while you were here. I wanted to see if we could spend some time together here in your world. I mean, I do come over every once and a while to help Sunset with some experiments and tidy up the place." She said through a clenched muzzle.

I rapidly shook my head. "Oh no. Not like this, you aren't. You are not going out like this."

"What's wrong?" She asked, beginning to look worried.

I removed my hand as I began to pace back and forth across my room. "You're a pony, you've been one this entire time. I know that, but you're a pony HERE, in my room. I can't just walk around town with a talking purple winged-unicorn." I stressed as I pulled out my phone to read a text message from Melanie.

Sender: Melanie
wtf i hurd u scream, r u ok?

Dammit, I can't stick around for this. "Look Twilight, I can't show you around right now. I have to go."

"What? Why are you in such a rush? And why is it I can't go with you?"

Look, there are two... no three reasons why I can't let you hang around here for long. First, there are no such things as talking equines in this world. Second, I have downstairs neighbors would would become overly suspicious if they constantly heard the sound of hooves clopping against the floor. And third, I'm visiting my family, who is super religious and super conservative. They already don't like the fact that I denounced Christianity back in freshman year of college. Xenophilia would probably be a big NO in their books. "Can you just stay in this room for ten minutes?"

Twilight sighed as she face-hoofed. "Nondis, come on. I want to meet everyone you know so that I can get to know them, they can understand what you go through, and why you constantly disappear every so often. I feel somewhat responsible for how your family's been feeling since your absence, so I want to give them closure."

"Twilight, I can't let that happen. I know you're anxious to meet my folk, but not now. At least find some spell that could turn you into a human, then we can talk. Aside from that, I can't disclose Equestria's existence to─"

"HEY NONDIS! YOU OKAY IN HERE!?"

SHIT! I FORGOT TO CLOSE THE FRONT DOOR! "Aww fuck me." I quietly turned to Twilight and hissed through clenched teeth. "Don't you say a word. I need you to stay as quiet as possible."

"But Nondis..."

She didn't finish her statement as I quickly grabbed the first jacket I saw from my closet and quickly walked out of the room. As I turned the corner, I could already see Melanie making her way towards my room. "Sorry about the wait. I had to grab something real quick."

"Yeah, I figured as much. I also heard a noise, almost like someone was talking to you." She stated with a raised eyebrow. "So who's in there? Got a pretty girl in your room?"

Not exactly a human girl, but... "Nah, that was my TV. I was online in Halo Reach and someone called me out before I cut everything off." I lied. "I know it sounds stupid, but Halo Reach is better than the recent installments."

"Are you sure that there isn't a girl in there, none by the name of... 'Bella'?" She questioned trying to look over my shoulder.

"No. She's still in Arlington. But really, do you mind if I get a ride?"

She folded her arms as she leaned against the wall, giving me a bemused expression. "Okay, but I do have to ask you something. What did you have to grab that was so important to leave your front door wide open? If I was some random stranger, I would've came in here and knocked your lights out and did whatever to you and this place."

As if that's possible, considering that you're the only one headed up here. "I know. I'll try to do better. Now let's get going."

"To your parents' house, right?"

"Yup."

While we walked out of the door, she continued to ask questions. "I don't remember you telling me you had a job."

"Yeah, I do security." For a whole nation. "Sometimes I do it out of town, especially in Arlington."

"Oh, so you went with Bella yesterday?" She questioned, seeming disappointed.

"No. Just strictly business. I just got back in not too long ago and decided to chill for a good portion of the day... that was until my dad gave me a call."

"Oh, I guess that makes a lot of sense. You look the part, except the jacket, that thing looks like you're wearing a red duffel bag." She joked.

"I guess I do need something that's a little less baggy." Now that I think about it, my whole wardrobe on this side is too big for me to wear. I suppose that is a little bit of a problem. But that can be solved by packing my clothes from you-know-where and bringing them over when I need to spend a night or two.

"And for fuck's sake, that thing is ancient. You've had that since junior year of high school."

"My granddad had odd tastes for clothing. You know this." That man did nothing but give me old clothes from the thrift store, and some weird stuff to wear for Christmas. The jacket I'm wearing is nothing but a reminder of two things: him and how much weight I lost from then till now.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. You ready to go?" She asked as I was locking the door.

"Yes, now let's get going. The sooner we get there, the less I'll have to hear from dad."

Twilight sat inside of the room, her ear placed against the door as she listened in to the humans having their conversation. She didn't pull away until she heard the sound of the front door being pulled shut. After she stopped listening in, she quietly sulked as she sat motionless, a frown forming on her face.

"Bella... Am I so much of a hassle that he has to change my name? What is so bad about him being with me that he has to hide me every time I'm here? I thought that with Cliff and Rickey, he would be willing to tell everyone he knew about Equestria, about us... Or maybe we're just too different for them?"

The purple mare rose to her hooves and slowly walked back to the bathroom. Before she left the human world, she looked at the reflection of herself. Her ears fell as her face indicated depression. The more she thought about how he acted, the more her head fell. Finally, she looked back to the bedroom before making her exit.

"Are we so different?"

Of course after such a chapter, I had to tone things down a bit. So I apologize if this chapter seems a little slow.

Twilight's dilemma stems from earlier chapters, more notably the chapter where she met Cliff and Rickey for the first time. Rarity doesn't seem to give up on what she wants, so I suppose she decided that waiting it out was taking too long and make the first move. And now Nondis will have to deal with his mom and dad next chapter. What would happen next time? Read on to find out.

I finally got the juices flowing again. Hooray.