Twilight and I walked out of the bathroom with cleansed faces, as well as a brand new sense of adoration for one another. She loved me for my desire to stay by her side, no matter how sticky the situation. And I loved her for just who she was, the semi-social bookworm that kicks ass. Even despite the earlier situation, she found the strength to look me in the eye.

Not to mention that she was constantly apologizing for giving the little guy below the belt a good jawing.

I wasn't deterred, though it would take some time for me to warm up to the idea of her performing oral on me again. But I still loved her nonetheless. She could be horrible in bed, a terrible cook, or a pony who had a busy schedule, but none of that would still make me leave her. After all, I didn't come all this way for ulterior motives.

And let's be honest, if I was careless, selfish, and flippant, I would've left her in pursuit of one of her friends as a rebound. Hell even thinking about it makes me wanna punch myself in the face. The last thing I'd wanna be is Caramel 2.0.. The last thing I'd wanna do is run into another one of him, let alone becoming one myself.

After we had left the room. We walked further down the hall, made our way downstairs and entered into the hall just outside of the dining room. Twilight received a few bows from two of the guards that stood beside the door. But as I approached, the guards weren't so compassionate. I guess word of my eating meat isn't exactly the best news they heard for the week, considering the attacks from yesterday. Ignoring them, I made my way into the dining room.

In the words of a familiar, bald yellow man I used to watch in my childhood days: LOOK HOW LOUD I HAVE TO YELL!

This place was monumentally huge. I think the ceiling was a full three stories high. The room reached what could've been from one end of Applejack's barn to the other end, reaching just outside of the doorway. In the center was a large table filled with assorted meals. A majority of the food was something along the lines of being oat or hay based. Princess Celestia sat the end of the table, sipping on a warm cup of tea. Luna sat next to her, casually reading the newspaper for anymore news aside from the events that transpired yesterday.

And due to the fact that yesterday's news was today's international headlines, one could assume she was hiding herself in that newspaper for obvious reasons. Shining Armor and Cadance sat to the princesses' left. Velvet and Crescent were already seated to their right, waving both of us over. Both Twilight and I blushed at the two unicorns at the table. Our reasons for feeling somewhat bashful were rightfully justified. As soon as we made our way towards the nearest two open seats, a maid pulled our chairs out for us, waited for us to be seated and laid out our glasses, plates, and silverware. When I had sat down, the maid that served me seemed a bit timid to see me.

Then again, I was the only non-equine being in the room. I guess that's something to feel a bit uneasy at. I ultimately decided to pay it no mind as Twilight whispered out my name. I looked towards her as she sat directly across from me. She mouthed her words to me. "I love you."

I decided to mouth her back. "I love you more."

She became a little flustered at my response. She decided to up the ante. "I love you twice as much."

I accepted the challenge she offered to me. "I love you times infinity."

"Do you two need a room again?" Velvet asked, causing us both to become red-faced. We both looked to her, watching her drink her tea as if she hadn't said anything at all.

As we both calmed down for a bit, the doors to the dining room opened to reveal a white unicorn with a golden mane. I had grown to identify who he was by appearance. He was none other than Prince Blueblood. "Good morning to all." He casually spoke as he started to take his seat directly next to me. He turned his attention to Princess Celestia. "Auntie, would you mind if I dine with company this morning."

"Not at all." She answered softly.

Blueblood turned his head to the door and called out. "Wives, please sit yourselves."

Almost like an assembly line, the seven mares, each with outrageous manes and wigs took up a chair and sat themselves on either side of the table. A few of the mares started to fight over who would sit in front or beside him. Thankfully, Celestia's presence was more than a discouraging factor to keep their infighting at a minimum. Cadance and Shining Armor shook their heads at the absurd collection of mares the unicorn prince invited. It seems that they weren't having their shit either. And who could blame them?

"So, is the human eating with us this morning?" Blueblood asked, somewhat in a condescending tone.

"He will. And I expect him to do so without being scrutinized. So if you manage to see something that you don't agree with, feel free to talk with me after the meal." It seems that Celestia was fixated on trying to make me feel comfortable. I understand that my dietary options are controversial to many, but I don't think she'll have to worry too much about that.

"So, Sir Nondis, did you sleep well?" Luna asked as she lowered the newspaper to look at me. "Did your dreams trouble you any further from the time I left last night?"

Twilight's eyes snapped to Luna. It appears that she was dumbfounded that Luna visited me in the wee hours of the morning. Though this wasn't her being jealous... or at least that's what I'm thinking. I answered her question. "Yeah. I've slept pretty nicely. I didn't know you had the abilities to change dreams like that."

"Actually," Twilight began. "Princess Luna's abilities go beyond changing dreams. She can create brand new dreams. She can also dive into one's consciousness and speak with them there. She could even obtain some pretty useful information that way."

"Though that would be for special occasions." Luna added.

Though that did raise a few questions. "So stupid question. Can you speak with the dead?"

Blueblood scoffed at me, shaking his head. "Of course not! She's not a shaman of some sort. Not even Starswirl the Bearded could master such magic. To do so would be to delve into necromancy."

And given his response, I guess that must be a bad thing. "So... Speaking with the dead is a big no-no?"

"Indeed." Celestia concluded. "To do so would be to disrupt the natural order of life and death. The boundaries between the two realms are to never be crossed. Otherwise, dark, sinister magic could corrupt the normal magic of the living, changing them forever."

"So what do you call it?" I asked.

"Simply dark magic." Velvet contributed. "If one is a practitioner of that magic, their bodies could drastically change. Their wings could deteriorate and reform as something unsightly. Their horns could curve and become discolored. Their bodies can become quite frail. Not to mention they would need to feed on powerful magic in order to survive."

That seems a bit high-risk for learning how to delve into the void between the two planes of existence. But if one was to tread that line, then I suppose the risks would warrant the results. But why would one dare to go so far? "So, are there any others who's mastered this magic? Just to be curious."

"There were quite a few practitioners of that art." Cadance explained. "However, when many of them started to see the consequences of learning that magic, they turned away from it, forever marred by it. Even fewer became regular users, that is until their bodies decided to crumble away or deteriorate. And even up to this day, there are only two who could ever be considered as masters of the art."

"And those two are?" I inquired.

"One was a powerful unicorn of the north. He continued to practice his magic and find alternatives to bypassing the side-effects of the process. His body remained somewhat stable over time. And his magic was so powerful that he could enslave an entire race. As far as his real name, nopony knows what it is. But he proclaimed himself to be the king of the north. King Sombra of the Crystal Empire."

Twilight seemed to shudder a bit at his name. Wow, even she's a bit shaken up from it. I had to know more about this guy. "So what was his deal?"

"Everything." Shining added. "He enslaved the Crystal Empire, sent the ponies into slumber by the time Princess Celestia and Princess Luna arrived, holding their consciousness hostage. And not only did he hold the consciousness of the ponies who stayed there, he also held the city hostage as well. And even when he was defeated the first time, well over a thousand years ago, he was banished within the ice of the north, forever to be a shadow. However, he took the city and it's citizens with him, vanishing into thin air."

That means that he could've been a recurring problem. "I couldn't help but notice that you said 'the first time he was defeated'. But were there any others?"

"Only a second one." Twilight added. "When Spike and I found the Crystal Heart, an ancient artifact known to spread love and magic throughout all of Equestria, he threatened to enslave us as well. However, Spike managed to retrieve the artifact, and he delivered it to Princess Cadance. Once she placed the heart where it belonged, the city started to regain it's former glory, and Sombra was defeated a second time."

"So, did he ever come back?"

Cadance hummed as she looked towards the group of servants entering into the dining room with fresh food. "Remember when we were talking about how dark magic can ultimately destroy the body? Well despite taking shortcuts and alternate routes to receive his power, Sombra's body was still significantly weakened. So when the blast of magic surged forth from the Crystal Heart, his body could no longer stand against it. He shattered into many fragments, never to be seen again."

What a way to go. I see that he didn't manage to make it to his monologue about how he conquered everything that the good guys stood for. "That unfortunate for him. So there's one of these 'masters' left now?"

Shining Armor looked to his wife. She closed her eyes and drew a breath before she started.

"A long time ago, before I was a princess, I was taken in by a village of earth ponies. From what I was told, I was originally found in the woods."

"Did your parents ever come and get you?" I asked.

"No. I don't know who my parents are. But that's a story for another time."

I decided to remain silent as she carried on.

"So when I grew ten years later, I had encountered a pretty disturbing issue. The ponies that took me in began to fight with one another. And as time progressed, the whole village began to argue and fight. The small, peaceful town I grew to love and call home had suddenly turned dark. But that when I had noticed that there was an unusual pony, a unicorn to be exact, that would walk through the village with a shiny red amulet. As soon as she walked through, I saw an eerie mist slighter across the ground, all of it being absorbed into her. I ran as far away as I could, running faster and faster until I had run into a cave. But just when I though I was safe... I wasn't."

Cadance started to clench her eyes as she tried to prevent the tears from rolling down her face. Thankfully, her efforts were not in vain. I already knew that this was going to be painful for her to disclose. I was going to motion her to stop there, but she continued anyhow.

"When she finished trying to instill her hatred and jealousy into me, I still remained pure. So she decided to take things even further, to push me to hate her so that she could feed off of my love... In short, I had lost my innocence that day, in more ways than one. But I still stood up to her, showing her that I still had the love in my heart. When I had went back into the village, I ran back crying into my caretakers' hooves. I began to share the love I had for them with them. And soon they found the light of my love, burning through the darkness that clouded their way. I did this for every villager, and gave them all my love and appreciation."

"So what happened to the unicorn?"

"Prismia, the unicorn that tried to corrupt the village, started to walk through the town once more. But when she realized that her magic wasn't taking it's usual effect, she stood in the town square and shouted for the villagers to hate one another. And that's where I stood up to her. She screamed and shouted over how I should be in contempt over what she did to me, how I should blame the other villagers for not saving me when I needed them the most, but she was wrong. I had no reason to blame them for something that they didn't do. Instead, I showed them just how much they meant to me. And that love resonated throughout every pony in that village. She stood there, weakened from the lack of love she absorbed and converted into hatred. So she began to deteriorate before our very eyes. And when she was too weak to hold her amulet, she ran off."

"So it's safe to say that she died?" I asked, trying to piece it together.

"If only it was that easy. She continued to travel throughout the lands, stealing the love from every individual stallion she met. She would meet up with a lonely, heartbroken stallion, make his dreams come true, give him a foal and suck him dry. This entire process continued for well over a few decades. To this day, legend says that she rests in the Southern Badlands, raising all of the foals she had from every stallion. And when they grew old enough, she'd mate with them, producing offspring at an insurmountable rate. Never ceasing, never resting, she continued this until she built an army of deformed drones. All of whom could feed off of the love of other unsuspecting ponies."

Feeding off of the love of others. That made me think back to what I heard on the train. I overheard the changeling captain say something about feasting on the love of a family. It began to add up. "Feeding off of the love of others... The changelings?"

"Correct." Cadance confirmed as her plate was set before her.

"So if Prismia is the birth-mother of the hive, then is it possible that she could be running the whole entire operation?" I questioned, wanting more of an insight of the matter.

"Not possible." Celestia summarized. "Their leader attacked us directly two years ago. If anything, the notion of them having multiple leaders would be nothing short of irrational."

"And yet Equestria has four." I pointed out. "Hell, two if you wanna get into the absolute-power thing."

"But we all bear different titles." Twilight rebutted as she started to prepare herself for her meal. "Both Cadance and I are municipal leaders. Cadance has the Crystal Empire, and I have Ponyville. Celestia and Luna both bear the burden of changing the day itself."

"And furthermore, their leader was considered as a 'queen'. That would mean there's only one to hold that title." Crescent added. "You may have multiple princess carrying out multiple burdens, but never more than one queen."

"Ugh! That holey, buggy, ugly parasite-of-a-queen Chrysalis. To think that she had the gall to ruin my son's wedding." Velvet added, sounding unusually serious.

"She literally locked me in a crystal room and had me watch as she did all sorts of illicit things with my Shining Armor!" Cadance ranted.

"And she tried to pass the buck, making me seem like I was the evil one." Twilight hissed.

"Not to mention she inflicted harm unto my older sister." Luna also ranted.

"And though I'm not one for complaints but she also threatened my subjects, in front of me to start." Celestia stated as she received her food.

Something tells me that she wasn't exactly on the invite list for this morning's breakfast. "So... She's bad news?"

"Of course!" All five mares yelled out in unison.

Blueblood cleared his throat. "Well, to be fair, she did look rather attractive for one of her ilk."

Of course, he just had to be that guy.

Crescent simply facehoofed while I performed my own human variant. Practically every mare in attendance stared menacingly at the unicorn prince. Even his seven wives seemed ready to take up whatever silverware lied in front of them and shove it into various orifices of his body. Sure hope he's into sounding with forks and spoons.

The room stayed silent for a moment while Shining Armor turned to the side, cringing as he whispered to himself. "Awk-ward."

The breakfast with the royals left me feeling somewhat uncomfortable. It wasn't the fact that I was dining with the ponies in charge of running the country, as I felt completely fine with that. But when it came to eating a slice of ham around a vegetarian crowd, the atmosphere can get a little thorny. That was definitely the case when it came to the wives of Prince Blueblood. Most of them spoke under their breath, exchanging glances and insults at me for eating meat. After a few minutes, I decided to dine on the other side of the table on the far end of the room. Twilight went after me and tried to convince me to come back. I gracefully declined due to the others feeling uncomfortable and simply remained where I was.

My diet was something that I'd often kept silent about around other ponies. I've always been self-conscious of that.

Celestia soon came over to speak with me and took her seat directly beside me. Twilight sat on the other side as I tried to carry on with my meal. I managed to finish, but an odd sensation took me as I walked past the others, dismissing myself from the room. But before I could leave, Celestia summoned me to the end I originally sat at. She made a decree that if I was in Canterlot, I was to share my meals in her presence.

She also took notice of the mares and dismissed them permanently. Blueblood was not too pleased about that, but he accepted the decree out of respect. Cadance and Shining Armor went along to the infirmary ward to interrogate the changeling we caught on the train yesterday. And being that I had went through a lot just to get off of that train alive, I was going to get some answers. And despite Twilight's objections to take it easy, I tagged along with Shining in search of answers.

By the time we arrived, guards were changing out posts. The ones that were originally assigned to protect our main lead left out to lunch. Another two guards came by and set themselves in place. Meanwhile, the three of us went inside and saw the changeling bandaged up and cuffed to the bed. He gave us a smirk as we entered.

"So which one of you is going to give me my sponge bath today?"

Shining sat next to the creature and stared back with an icy demeanor. "You know, I could use you as a sponge to mop up the blood off of the counsel room floor. But that would defeat the purpose being that I'd be putting your blood on the floor instead."

The changeling seem undeterred by the stallion's comment. Cadance walked up to the other side and placed a tray at his side. "And a hello to you too. Perhaps you feel a little hungry?"

Apparently there were playing good cop/bad cop. It's obvious which one Cadance was going to play. The changeling smirked back at her. "And maybe you'd like to feed me? I could go for some homecooked loving right now. I also love the handcuffs. Very kinky."

Wow. I had to give this little guy props, he had balls. Shining Armor didn't like his comment too much, but he did manage to withhold himself from tossing the changeling out of the nearest window, to say the least. "That's my wife you're talking to, you ugly-"

"Shining. Mind your manners." Cadance said as she leaned in on the changeling. "So, here's how this is gonna go. You tell me what I want to hear, and I'll let you go."

I nearly dropped off the face of the planet when she said that. "Excuse me?"

"Let me finish." She responded, turning her attention back to the changeling. "And also, if you work with us, we might just decide to send you off to the Badlands without any complications."

"Badlands? Why would I go there?" The creature squawked.

Shining magically grabbed the changeling by the neck and pulled him in. "Because staying here would mean that I would have to kill you myself."

The changeling rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm starved, I lost a lot of blood, I'm nowhere near the hive, and I'm captured by Equestrian forces. To me it sounds like I'm well on my way out here."

He's got a point there.

"But it doesn't have to be this way." Cadance suggested as she reached over the bed and gave her husband's horn a light tap to knock out his magic. "I'm offering you a chance to work with us. And in exchange, I'll ensure that you go back to your hive fully mended and fed."

"Look, the only way I can eat is if I feed on love or meat. And I seriously doubt that you have any meat on hoof."

I chuckled a little bit at his statement. "Actually... they kinda do."

"Wait, what?" The changeling appeared to look at me with confusion.

"What can I say?" I pulled back my cheek and opened my mouth to reveal my teeth, complete with canines. "My species can actually eat meat. Though we prefer to roast it over an open fire." I let go of my cheek and proceeded to wipe my fingers off on my shirt. "But that does bring up a point, how does changeling meat taste?"

"From what I heard the dragons say, not very palatable." The changeling said.

"That's bullshit. All we need is a bit of salt, some pepper, a bit of garlic-"

"Nondis, we don't need to hear about your dietary preferences here." Shining said as he seemed a bit disturbed from the levels I manage to transcend to. I guess I overdid it. "We're trying to find out about why they attacked us yesterday."

"Yeah, I know. I just thought that maybe he'd like some motivation." I answered back.

"That's not how you interrogate, sweetheart." Cadance said while she leaned back down to his ear. "You see, motivation is like..."

I stared slack-jawed as she planted her hoof firmly against his muzzle, knocking his head back into the pillow. He cried out in pain, trying to reach for his nose. But the cuffs that bound him to the bed kept him locked in place. "OWW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?"

Cadance continued to wear her bright and cheery smile. "I thought you said you were hungry! I'd be more than willing to give you a bit of love."

Obviously, Cadance was not the one playing 'good cop' here. The changeling continued to express his discomfort. "That doesn't feel like love at all!"

"Well I call it tough love, the best love there is."

Shining nodded sagely in compliance. "And she's the princess of love. She knows all kinds of love."

I became curious and started asking questions to further add tension to the situation. "So does that mean she knows 'insane love?'"

"She does. She's gotten jealous of Twily at times too. Kinda scary."

"So does she practice BDSM?"

"Ball-and-cock torture is her favorite."

Cadance went back to the tray and pulled off a monkey wrench and waved it in front of the changeling's face. "Maybe he'd like a sample. I'd love it when they scream for me through my special little toy."

"What toy?" The creature asked worriedly.

"Oh... you know. My ball-gag for my husband. I was thinking about using it for our session tonight, but I guess he'll have to wait for his punishment."

Shining placed a hoof on his chin and thought aloud. "You know, I never tried cuckolding. That sounds pretty fun to me."

These two play entirely too well off of each other. The looks in their eyes, the grins they wore, the glances the made at each other, it was like they were one in the same. It was terrifying. And obviously, the changeling agreed with me. "Okay! I got orders from the Queen! She sent the contingent here to scope out some useful candidates for the feeding!"

Wow, he broke before she even got started.

Cadance looked back at Shining Armor, giving him a nod as she placed the monkey wrench on the tray she brought in earlier. Shining took over from there. "Go on."

"Look, we needed food. We can't keep feasting on pony rations all the time. Our bodies don't derive nutrients from oats and hay all that well. In fact, our Queen would often stay up at night, wondering how she would be able to feed her colony. And every one of those nights, we'd watch her cry and-"

"You know, I've heard enough sappy stories for one day." I stated as I bowed my head to Cadance. "No offense."

"Non-taken." She said nonchalantly.

Shining levitated the monkey wrench off of the tray. "Yeah, I'm with him. So hurry up and get to the point, please. We have a city to help rebuild."

The changeling nodded hurriedly. "Right! So when she sent out our orders, she gave us our plans and told us what each squad should do. And when we had finished with debriefing, we started to head out and train ourselves for the offensive."

"So I'm to assume that the offensive was actually a distraction?" Shining said as he waived the wrench slowly across his face.

"Yes! We were using it as a distraction to round up individuals that could prove useful to the Queen!"

I walked toward him, wearing nothing but a bitter scowl on my face. I yanked him by his scraggly horn and lifted him up to eye level. "And in the process, you eliminated several commanding officers from their posts. Not only did you knock out all means of transport, but you also decided to kill passengers on the train as well. If you ask me, there's a lot more in play here. I suggest that you tell me what your real objective is, or was considering that your guys got your collective asses whopped from here to Appleloosa."

"It was a distraction! Nothing more! I swear!"

I took a deep breath, pulled out my own tool and placed it firmly against his skull. "You remember this little thing, don't you?"

His eyes widened at the sight of the gun I used to kill his officer being held next to his head. It seemed that he understood what it's primary function was. "..." He remained in a panicked silence.

"I'm sure your boys would tell you what it does, but last I checked they're at the bottom of a ravine right now. Now if you don't want to join them, then I suggest that you speak up now... or forever hold your peace. Either way is fine with me."

"...I-"

I decided to turn up the heat a bit. I pressed the barrel even further against his skull, giving him the impression that I was anxious to kill him. "I think you may wanna speak up a bit. Unless you're scared."

"Meep..." He squeaked out as he tried to move his head out of the way. I continued to grab his horn, shoving him against the gun.

"Now you have until the count of three before I blow your brains all over this bed."

"I... I..."

"One. Tell me what your objective is! Tell me now before I kill you!"

The changeling started to wiggle and writhe out of his cuffs, but his efforts were in vain. "Do you wanna tell me what you're hiding!? Because I can certainly blow that shit all over this pillow. Oh, and in speaking of which..." I removed my hand from his horn, grabbing the pillow he was going to rest on. I shoved it over his face and held the gun directly on top of it, making sure that the shot would align with his head. "Here, I'll give you one last chance! You tell me what your objective was or I send your ass back in a tupperware container alongside a can of bug spray! You've got until I count down from five!"

The changeling squirmed and wiggled as he tried to scream through the pillow. "But... I was only following orders!"

I screamed at him as I held the pillow firmly against his face. "FIVE..."

"Please, I just did what I was told!"

I elevated my voice, this time making it sound as if I was itching to pull the trigger. "FOUR-THREE..."

"Wait! That's too fast!"

I smothered the pillow into his face, pushing the gun along with it. "TWO..."

"It was for the hive! I swear!"

This time, I pressed the barrel into the pillow just enough that he could feel it. I screamed as loudly as I could. "ONE! TIME'S UP-"

"OUR COMMANDER, HE SENT US HERE! IT WASN'T THE QUEEN! OUR COMMANDER WANTED REVENGE!"

Cadance, Shining, and I all stood silent for a moment, caught off-guard from the changeling's answer. I pulled the pillow away from his face and put the gun away. As I did, Shining looked at the weapon with curiosity running through his mind. I didn't pay him no mind as I continued to question the changeling. "Okay... Your commander wanted revenge for what?"

The changeling shook a bit as he stared at me, scared that I would send him out the same way I did with his other compatriots. "H-h-he wanted t-to get revenge f-f-for the... the um... the invasion from two years back!"

I kinda tilted my head from the response I received. Why would anyone want to go to such a grand scale for revenge? It's one thing for killing off some of our guys but it's another thing when you just go all out and target the higher-ups. Had it really been their queen that sent the order, it would mean war. Perhaps it was intentional? "Okay, so what was this so-called revenge plan?"

"He wanted to have revenge for the failure of taking the city. Two years ago, our queen hatched a plan to take over the entire realm so that we could repurpose it for food. See, what happened-"

Cadance cut him off, staring back at me. "Let's skip to the now, please. I'm well-aware of what the story is and how it ends."

The changeling looked back at Cadance with anger, almost in complete disbelief. "Do you really know how the story ended for us?" He hissed in a low tone.

"Yes." She stated. "Last I remember, Shining and I cast our spell and shot your queen and her army a fair distance away. My wedding, our special day was ruined because your queen decided to become my impostor and marry my husband."

The changeling lashed back at Cadance. "Sure, your ending was all happy and care-free."

Cadance reared her hoof back, readying to strike him with all of her might. "Care-free? Our honeymoon was cancelled because we had to help with rebuilding efforts. We had dozens of families we had to apologize to because of you! I had to comfort a mother who lost her foal because of rubble!"

"That's it!? We lost almost an entire army! Only a few dozen remained out of what was a force of over a thousand! You lose a few lives because of indirect consequence. We lose several hundred of our best because of you two!"

I decided to cut in. "I'm still trying to get an understanding on why you needed to target top military officials. Can you explain that before you two go back to arguing?"

The changeling scoffed at the princess, tooting his muzzle at her as he turned his attention to me. "You wanna know why? Because it just so happens that one of those high-ranking officials were responsible. If you want to know more, then you should ask that stallion right next to you."

I looked at Shining, who looked back at the changeling with rage. He also stepped in and began questioning. "So you didn't think to target me instead? Instead of going for just me, you decided to go for all of our top-brass?"

"The commander was more than willing to absolve you as long as we crippled your ranks. You were just a cherry on the top, an offering to our beloved queen."

Cadance didn't hold back as she magically yanked the changeling by his throat. "My husband..." She forcefully spat at him. "Will not be offered to that ugly whore! So you can tell that bitch to leave what's mine to me."

Wow. The pretty, pink Princess Cadance made a swear... I have never seen Cadance this angry. She seemed as if she was a tug away from removing his trachea while she shook with anger and leaned in on him. She started to bear her fangs at the changeling, but the creature remained undeterred. Instead, he fought through her grasp and shot back at her. "She's more mare than you'll ever hope to be."

Cadance's expression twisted as she slammed the changeling back onto the bed. She looked over to the tray and grabbed at the monkey wrench, hoping to knock his legs inside out, but Shining held her down and prevented her from going full-in. Cadance had a unsettling glimmer in her eye, almost as if she was ready to kill him on spot.

Correction, I don't think I've ever seen Cadance any more angry than she is at this very moment.

I decided to take my attention back to the matter at hand. "Let's get back on track. Your commander wanted to cripple our military so that you guys could come back in and make a second go for the city?"

The changeling coughed as he tried to speak. "Actually, *ahem* we already took over the city *cough* the first time, or we were pretty close. We wanted to make up for what should've been, and that was our victory over Equestria."

"And yet you still lost?" I summarized.

"Because of those two." He said as he scowled at the two royals staring back at him. "But Canterlot isn't the only place our commander had his eyes on. Shortly after, our Queen finished mourning for our fallen and found a village of smaller creatures, filled with just enough love to revitalize her strength. And shortly after, she tried to go for a consolation prize."

I started to become somewhat concerned for where he was going. What was this consolation prize? "And that would be?"

"She tried to take a small town south of here. It was a place where there was more than enough love to feed our entire colony. As long as we had that little town to farm our love from, we could replenish our numbers and strength quickly. We'd be able to challenge Celestia once more."

A small town south of here? He didn't mean... "And your commander wants to make a second attempt for that town?"

The changeling laughed weakly, still recovering from being choked by Cadance. "He's probably attacking it right now. Poor little ponies don't stand a chance without a decent system in place."

And of course... That means that our being trapped here in Canterlot would only slow our response. And killing off our chain of command would only slow us even more. The rebuilding efforts... no way... He was right. This whole thing was one gigantic distraction. His earlier reason being absolutely bogus, I had figured as much, but this was even worse. That's why they were all running away in droves yesterday. And by blowing the bridge from here to the mountain, we'd have an even slower ability to mobilize our defenses towards any town. Add in the rebuilding efforts along with search and rescue, then we'd be left with little manpower to counter their next attack.

They could be attacking Ponyville right now and we wouldn't even be able to do anything about it.

"Cadance, Shining, we gotta move!" I said as I walked towards the door.

The frustrated princess turned back to me. "What's wrong?"

"They're going for Ponyville."

Shining sighed in disbelief. "And the bridge is out, meaning we'd have no way to get out of this damn city."

The princess hurried behind me as Shining started to trail behind her. She placed a hoof on my shoulder to get my attention. "There's another way out. But it's pretty risky."

"You have some sort of emergency escape tunnel for when the city's going under?" I asked.

"Several. They all run under and through this mountain. I remember the way in, but getting to the base of the mountain, that's something else entirely."

"Why not use one of the chariots?" Shining asked.

"The chariots are being used to carry supplies and tools for the reconstruction effort. They're all rented out."

"Fuck." I shook my head in defeat. "So we'd literally have to hoof it from here?"

"Yeah. But I'm not the only one who knows how to navigate the caves. Twilight knows the caves better than I do, at least she still remembers the way out should we get lost." Cadance added.

Shining continued to keep a calm composure as he turned back over to look at the bed-ridden changeling. "So what do we do about him?"

"Oh, right." Cadance walked back over to him stopping short of his bed.

The changeling looked at the princess oddly. "What now?"

"Oh, I'm sorry sweetie. I just wanted to wish you well and make sure that you'd get plenty of rest." Shortly after finishing her statement, she cocked a hoof back and gave the creature a powerful blow to the muzzle, knocking him unconscious. After, she walked back to the door and took the lead. "Okay, let's go."

She's Umbridge-levels of scary. And this mare was going to be my sister-in-law. Currently processing that.

It didn't take us long to notify Princess Celestia and Princess Luna of what we had found out. The moment we told them, it seemed that their reaction was somewhat calm. I guess being around for a thousand, you'd get used to things like this. But at the same time there was an unsettling scowl on their faces. It didn't matter how long they lived, they would still protect their subjects for the sake of the future of Equestria.

They were rulers, they were taught to remain calm in times of great turmoil. But Twilight, being still relatively new to royalty, did not react so calmly. She immediately stormed out of the room and vehemently trotted down the hall.

Shortly after, we notified them of what we were going to do. They held no objections to our plan, giving us the green-light to do what was necessary to protect Ponyville. Shining, Cadance, and I all made our way down the hall. As we hurried along, Twilight came running to us, letting us know how angry she was that she couldn't request any guards to accompany us due to the security risk of a second attack on the city.

The changeling did tell us that they would attack the city another time if the opportunity came.

Finally calming down, she traveled with us, guiding us down the halls of the castle, into a storage closet. When she moved a mop out of the way, she pulled a large metallic ring that connected to a set of floorboards. When the way was opened, she was the first to walk down. I walked alongside her, or attempted to, trying to calm her. Instead, she was becoming even more impatient with our pace and decided to speed up the process.

Cadance and Shining ran after the young princess and collaborated on which was the quickest route down the mountain. Shining tried his best, but his knowledge of the caves only led to another way going towards the waterfalls down below. Cadance and Twilight thought about just flying there, but they quickly reconsidered that idea, stating that neither Shining nor I could fly. I offered to hop on one of their backs and hold on until we got there, but I weighted too much to make it a quick trip and Shining was not to fond of being magically held by his younger sister at a height where clouds were a normal occurrence.

Twilight and Shining both thought about teleporting all of us to Ponyville, but Cadance brought up the fact that Shining was still somewhat recovering from our duel. And any significant amount of magical stress could result in re-injury. And Twilight was not powerful enough to poof us all there at once. She'd have to do it several times, sending us several feet from one end to the other. And that would only mean that she'd nearly KO herself from performing the spell with so many bodies so many times. It would be much easier for her to do just herself. It would be a lot easier for everyone to do it on their own, but Cadance didn't exactly master the art of teleportation.

And I can't magic, so yeah there's that.

Finally, Twilight had an idea. She and Shining would march on ahead to look for any ways that would lead to the bottom of the mountain. And being that there was a lot of jumping and hurdling over large gaps full of sharp, pointy crystals, that left me to Cadance, who knew her way around the caves to get us to a safe point to await for a teleportation to the bottom.

The bottom of the mountain isn't nearly as much hard work as it is teleporting to Ponyville in one go. At least, Shining wouldn't have to endure so much stress. And Twilight could easily get it done in a matter of seconds. If Cadance had mastered teleportation, then she'd probably take Shining's place. I guess that just leaves me. I understand that I'm not a unicorn or an alicorn princess, so magic wouldn't be my strong suit. I don't fly, so that would be another thing to add to the list. I know that certain earth ponies, such as Pinkie, do have extrasensory perception. Not only that but their bodies were way more capable of jumping down from larger heights without wearing down. Leg strength is a primary advantage of earth ponies in general. They'd kick a tree and walk off like they just stepped on a twig. If I tried to kick a tree, I'd break a leg.

Sometimes I think about how in this world of magic, a being such as myself would be considered a liability...

I'm thinking too much. I need to focus on the matter at hand, and that's getting to the bottom of this mountain. Shining and Twilight set off into the depths of the caverns, leaving me and Cadance to wander through the tunnels to see if there were any safer routes for me to take. I guess it would make sense for it to be her, considering that she knew the caves. We continued to walk along a darkened path. As we traveled, the light started to fade into absolute darkness. But luckily, Cadance had a countermeasure for something like this. With a simple flicker of her horn, a small bead of light shone from her, illuminating the entire cave we walked through.

"This place... It sure does bring back memories." Cadance silently whispered. I couldn't help but to hear her words over my rambling thoughts.

"How so? Good or bad?" I asked.

She paused for a brief moment to think. "You could say both."

"Explain?" I inquired, hoping to receive a bit of context.

"Well, look over there." She pointed towards an area filled with shattered crystals. "That's where Twilight freed me from my crystal prison when I was replaced by that impostor on my wedding day."

I started to chuckle at the sight of two Cadance's fighting over the same Shining Armor. "I guess it must've been a really awkward ceremony to have two of you standing in the chapel."

"Not as much as it was terrifying." She said as she continued to walk down crystalline path. "Shining was placed under a spell at the time, so he couldn't tell who was speaking or what was going on around him. And the entire time I was standing in front of her, she kept touching him... placing her hooves on him. Caressing his chin..."

Her hoofsteps started to become louder. It seems that she was stomping rather than walking. Apparently, this impostor must've really been teasing her throughout the affair. "Well, at least the impostor doesn't have Shining now."

She looked back to me and gave me a stern look. When she turned around, I knew that she was serious about what she had to say. "Be careful. Those changelings can alter their appearance and pass themselves off as your loved ones. If you don't know whether they're real or not, ask them a personal question. They won't be able to answer those without stuttering."

I started to back away from her unusual stone-breaking glare. "I'll keep that in mind."

She turned back around and carried on, guiding me through a few more of the caves as we spoke. "So... How have things been with Twilight?"

I started to scratch my head a bit. "Well, I guess things are okay."

"Okay? That's it?" She questioned with skepticism.

"I guess so. I don't know."

"This is a serious question, Nondis." She spoke with an icy tone.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Do you love her?" She asked out flatly.

"I think this is a bit sudden, don't you think."

The moment she looked back to me, I knew that she was expecting an answer. And preferably one of the absolute variety.

I placed my hands on the back of my head as I spoke. "Yeah. I do. I know that I do. So why ask?"

"What do you feel when you see her? When you talk to her? When you touch her?"

"Well, I sometimes feel nervous when I'm around her. I know, I should be used to it, right? But that's the thing. I don't know how not to feel that way. As far as when I see her, I kinda let myself become distracted, especially when walking. When I first got here, she always used to try and get me to go outside of my room. I wasn't used to anyone doing that..." Only one other person did that to me, and we weren't even dating. "Well, with the exception of one, but that was before I even came to Equestria, and we weren't even dating. I do tend to get nervous because she is my first. I just don't want anything to go wrong, you know? And when I talk to her, I could let the world burn away. When she speaks, she talks about some of the most interesting things. Granted, she can talk about some pretty boring shit at times, but I'm pretty sure she says the same thing about me."

Cadance playfully giggled to herself. "When you first got here, she used to say that you rambled on about some of the weirdest things."

Somehow, that doesn't surprise me. "I figured as much."

"But she does take interest in what you say."

"Anything in the name of research, I suppose."

"Especially that." Cadance cosigned.

"But what can I say? When she touches me, I feel... funny. It's a combination of 'ha-ha' and 'not quite normal'. I feel my chest tighten whenever she says certain things to me. I blush whenever she talks about me to others. When I hear others speak of me from her perspective, I'd start to feel a bit uncomfortable, but I get over it. When she hugs me, there's a warmth that circulates deep within my stomach. It almost makes me wanna puke sometimes. I'd even tell her that she makes me sick, just from her touching me. Though the first time I told her that, I had to immediately clear that up before it turned into something nasty. I don't have a way with words but when it comes to actions, I'd then find myself conveying my thoughts much better, especially when I'm in motion."

Cadance smiled at my response. She turned back around to face me, wearing a bright smile on her face. "Well, then I'd be happy to share my Twilight with you."

"Thanks for sharing." I said in earnest.

"Just make sure you never cheat on her. Otherwise, you'd have to worry about me."

"I'll take your word for it." I began to laugh nervously as she stared back at me with a creepy smile.

"And if you think Shining hiding a few letters is bad, then wait till you see how I can hide a body. I'll make sure that you won't even have a chance to take in air before you scream."

And she said all of that with what could've been one of the most innocent smiles a pony could ever wear. And this mare was going to be my sister in law... I'm too terrified to even process that now.

"Ooooohkay. Let's talk about this mountain." I stated to change the subject. "Can we talk about how you managed to learn the way throughout the caverns?"

"Well, it's a long story." She began.

"Well I'm afraid that your little story will have to wait, dear." A disembodied voice spoke from seemingly nowhere.

Before we could even find out, we saw everything around us flash white. And just in that very same flash of light, we were located to some other place within the mountain. When we had looked around, I had saw that we were just a few feet away from an exit to the outside. It appeared that we were already at the bottom of the mountain. When we had looked around, we saw that Twilight and her brother were nowhere to be found. Instead, we both saw Discord sitting upside-down on a couch that rested on the ceiling.

As far as the logic of that statement is concerned, there is none. I've learned to just roll with it.

"Where's Twilight and Shining?" Cadance asked as she continued to look around.

Discord rose from his seat and walked along the ceiling. "Ugh... You mean to tell me that there are two more slowpokes wandering around these caves?"

"You think you can find them real quick?" I asked, still wandering how it must feel to defy all laws of physics.

"Of course. In fact, I've already found them."

"..." I proceeded to look at the chaotic creature, tapping my foot against the ground. "...And you didn't think to bring them here with us?" I questioned the draconequuis.

"Well honestly, I wanted to see just how quickly they'd be able to find their way down here." Before he carried on, Cadance and I gave him blank stares, indicating that we were not up for another one of his usual mind-fucks. With a sigh, he reluctantly snapped his fingers. "Bah, fine!"

In a similar flash of light, both Shining and Twilight appeared along side us. The both looked at us with confusion wrought all over their face. Their confusion soon subsided the moment they saw Discord walking along the ceiling. Twilight didn't seem to care too much that he had randomly appeared.

"Discord, what are you doing here?" The purple mare asked.

"Well, I came to invite you over to Ponyville for a lovely cup of tea. I had originally hoped to hear more about your adventures from yesterday. I also read in the newspaper this morning that Nondis had actually saved a few lives onboard a runaway train bound for disaster. So then I decided to pay you all a visit and show you just how happy I was to see you." He suddenly reappeared beside me, pinching my cheek as if he was my grandmother.

I always hated that shit.

"I get it. But why are we down here rather than up in Canterlot?" I asked.

Discord disappeared once more and reappeared standing on the other side of the cave, this time wearing a yellow, frilly, southern-belle dress complete with an inverted umbrella. "Didn't you hear me before? The tea party was scheduled to be in Ponyville. But Fluttershy and I can't throw you one if changelings are running all over the town."

Twilight stepped forward. "Well, can you get us there?"

Discord playfully pouted and turned his back on us as he tooted his tail at us. "Well, I never. To think that I would be used for such ulterior motives. What in the wide, wide world of Equestria would make you think that I was capable of doing such things?"

"Raising the sun and moon at will." Shining stated.

"Turning the world inside out and transforming all of the roads in Equestria into soap water." Cadance added.

"Unlimited cosmic powers." I summed up in three words.

Discord turned back around and rolled his eyes at our answers. "Yes, but have any of you told me that you loved me at my bedside this morning?" He asked, now giving us puppy-dog eyes.

None of us were having his shit at the moment. All of us issued deadly stares back at him. Feeling that his jokes may have been a little too ill-timed, he decided to go along with our suggestion.

"Well, I guess I could make an exception." He said, snapping his fingers to summon a door that lead to what appeared to be nowhere. When he pulled on the handle, a series of tentacles carrying the ripped-up sukumizu he once wore for recreational purposes slithered out from the door and tried to grab at him. A gurgling sound could be heard as the creature reached for him. Immediately he slammed the door, looking back at us with a blush. "Oopsie. Wrong dimension. I should really have this thing recalibrated. You're probably wondering why I had it pin-pointed for that dimension. Long story short, Fluttershy and I-"

"DISCORD!" The four of us shouted out in unison.

The entity of chaos leaped back in response. "Sorry. Should be fixed now." He said as he opened the door once more to reveal a white light leading to what we had assumed was Ponyville.

We all wasted no time in running through the door.

When we had gotten through the door, we arrived in the town square, or what used to be it outside of the mess of green muck and pods filled with ponies. Some of the other ponies that were still free ran from hordes of changelings pursuing them. The insect-like creatures flew around the town, capturing whoever they could get their hole-riddled hooves on. Some had even started to feed on the pods that contained the captured citizens. Screeches and cries could be heard throughout the town.

The four of us stared in absolute shock that they actually did attack the town. And for me and Twilight, we were mortified to see the ponies we shared our daily lives being assaulted in front of our very eyes. Cadance and Shining looked like they were ready to kill something.

Discord mere shrugged his shoulders. "I told you that they trashed our tea party."

Sorry this one came so late. I had a lot going on irl while I was writing this chapter. Let me know how this one turned out. I don't think I did too well with this one, but considering the responses I had from the last two, I must be doing okay.