This is far from the world I've come to know and tolerate. I say tolerate instead of love because not much was really interesting in my life. I mean, sure, I went to school, I had a relationship (operative word: had) that was pretty okay, my parents were just like any other set of parents, home was okay at times. However, my social life was rather lacking. In truth, I am socially awkward. VERY socially awkward. I couldn't hold a conversation for more than five minutes, I was never good at picking up girls and I was far from the most popular guy in college. I didn't play many sports nor was I inclined in anything in particular. I was just the average dude who showed up and made decent grades.

Yeah, my life is pretty boring. Or should I say that it was boring.

As of now, I'm in the middle of a freaking town full of talking technicolor equines. How the hell I got here, I have not the slightest clue. I wasn't even sure if I was dreaming or not the first time I got here, but when I saw a pink pony with a pink, fluffy mane tell me hello, I figured that I may have stayed in my apartment a little too long, I ate something from the cafeteria that didn't sit well with my stomach or that maybe the students down the hall had some pretty strong weed and I was having a contact-high as a result.

Though I was really going for that contact high after two hours.

So... I'm in a world where prismatic horses with tattoos planted on their asses like billboard advertisements can talk full sentences in perfect English. I'm lying on a large-ass bed (by their standards), looking up at the ceiling as two ponies in armor stand on the opposite side of the room, watching my every move, my every breath, my every blink. Fearful expressions sat on their faces as they looked at me like I was some sort of parasitic alien who was more than willing to have them for a midnight snack.

I must be easy on the eyes or something.

As I lie here in this bed, I hear voices outside of the room. From what I'm hearing, it sounds like a group of these mammals outside...

Let me correct myself. They are sentient beings with the full grasp of technological know-how, despite being several decades behind what I'm used to. But then again, I guess having no internet could be a good thing.

I'm lying to myself. Internet is life incarnate.

The doors open and I'm introduced to several more of these ponies. Some with wings, some with horns, some with both and the rest without anything. If I am to assume by the guards that stood at the door beside the entering throng of equines, I'd say that their system is similar to that of a medieval monarchy. The ones without anything were the serfs, the ones with the wings were knights and guards like the two standing at the door, the ones with the horns (unicorns are apparently a thing here) are lords and nobles and the ones with the full-installation package are the rulers over the land.

For a monarchy, they sure are lacking in the masculine sense. Perhaps this was some sort of world where the female sex was the ones with all the power and the male counterparts are usually errand boys, hired muscle or workers of some sort. Great, an Amazonian-style matriarchy. Welp... I guess I'm sentenced to the dungeon without even getting a word in. I hope that they have some nice zoos somewhere around here, because I might be the next big thing.

"Sister," I heard from one of the larger equines. "I do not think that it is safe for us to be so close to it."

It? I am not an it! I am a thing, thank you very much.

"It's alright. It doesn't look like that it would be able to harm us." Another voice rang from the group.

So, if they start doing some sort of weird experiments on me, they will find out just how good (by good, I mean extremely uncoordinated) of a fighter I am.

It would seem that the pony who initially stated that I was not going to harm them had approached me from the group. Of course it would be the tallest of the group. I would assume that this full-grown horse with wings and a horn stamped to it's forehead is their leader.

"Greetings, creature. I understand that you may be far from your original dwelling place." She quietly spoke to me.

Being honest, far is a generous way of saying WHERE THE FUCK AM I?

"You are quite a rare find. I do not believe that our records have any knowledge on a creature of your ilk." A second voice chimed from behind the larger figure. Though the pony was smaller in stature than that of the first, she was still larger than the others of the group. She must be a royal, considering that she's got the total package like the larger one before me.

"Do you know where you are?" A third asked me. This time, it was a pink pony with a small tiara set upon her head. Just like the others, she carried both a pair of wings and a horn.

"I do not think that this creature can understand us, sister." The blue pony said as she looked to the white pony.

I was more surprised that they were actually sisters.

"I am sure that we may be able to find a way to communicate with it." The largest pony retorted.

Earth to dumbass: you can talk, remember?

"I wonder what kind of creature this is?" Questioned a fourth voice. As I watch the group of ponies part, I see a purple pony starting to approach the bed. She was easily the smallest of the royals, but she seemed to be a little more open to my being here. "Maybe I can spend some time with it to research what exactly it is."

Okay, maybe she was a little too open to my being here. I hate experiments.

"Or maybe we can send that thing to a zoo." A fifth voice rang from the crowd.

My patience had grown thin with the outlandish suggestion that I'd be on display for some child's edu-tainment. So I did what I really didn't like to do too much; talk.

"Please don't." I simply mumbled to myself. As I finished my two-word sentence, gasps sounded across the room as the four rulers stood over me in amazement.

"So you can talk?" The blue one responded.

"Yeah. But one question," A dumb one of course. "How are you guys talking?"

Silence filled the room as I lied silently on the bed, still waiting for an answer. Unfortunately, that never came.

"I... am completely blown!" The pink one one exclaimed. "This is a revolutionary find! I've never encountered something like it!"

"Now that I'm up close, the body structure does ring a bell." The purple one quietly notes as the others look to her.

"Do you mean that this creature is something that you've seen before." The white pony asked the purple one.

"This human, yes." The purple one responded as she raised her foreleg to touch me, to which I retreated from. As my hand stretched out to stave her off, she nodded. "Definitely a human."

Obviously, I'm confused. I think it's because of the fact that a pony can tell me what I am. "So... you know what I am?" I asked shyly.

"Yes. And for the most part, I don't really think you should even be here."

Hell, I know I shouldn't be here. So get me the hell out of here. "Okay. I... don't belong here. I actually belong-"

"In Canterlot High?" The purple pony said, finishing my sentence.

I merely blinked at her suggestion. First off, what was a Canterlot High? "Um... The University of Texas?"

Apparently, my suggestion may have thrown a monkey wrench in her equation. On second thought, with the way she just blinked at me with complete bewilderment, I'd say that it was more of a sledgehammer.

"UT? Longhorns?" My added questions were getting me nowhere at this point. The four royals just stared at me blankly. "Nevermind." That's better. When in doubt, kill off the conversation like it had never happened.

"It would appear that he's from somewhere else?" The blue pony asked the purple one.

"I could've sworn..." The purple pony said in disappointment before she trailed off. I guess I'm not the only one for awkward conversation.

"So... You are a human from the realm of this 'University of Texas'?" The pink one asked.

I found it difficult to suppress my laughs as I heard the pink royal call my place of enrollment a realm. In truth, it was only a small city. Besides, what else can you call it when there's like over a hundred thousand students enrolled? So yeah... "I guess you could say that."

"Do you remember how you got here?" The white one asked me in a delicate tone.

I can't even remember what I was doing before I had even got here in the first place, let alone how I got to this specific location in this specific world, dimension or whatever you wanna call it. The only thing I remember was the face of a pink pony surprising me, and being that I don't like surprises, I ran away screaming until I had hit something really hard and wooden. Since then, my memory's been a blur. "No. Not really."

"Then can you tell us anything about yourself?" The white pony asked.

I felt comfortable enough to describe the basics. I'd figure that they weren't going to make me some sort of exhibit. "I'm a student at the University of Texas, I'm currently classified as a sophomore, I'm twenty one years old, I like anime and video games, my major is undecided, I-"

My general description was cut short by a purple pony holding a hoof to my lips. Haven't these things heard of personal space? And plus she walks with those. That's just nasty. "I think what we all would like to know first off is your name."

While I quietly keep my objections regarding her sanitation habits to myself, I decide to reveal my name. "My name is Nondis."

"Okay, Nondis. Now that we have a name for you, we can introduce ourselves in turn." The purple pony happily stated.

The white, larger pony with a multicolored mane that swayed as if it was caught in a breeze bowed her head before me. "I am Princess Celestia. It is an honor to meet you." In my mind, she was the alpha-female.

The blue pony with a similar mane to that of her sisters, only hers was dotted with the stars of the night sky. She bowed her head next. "My name is Princess Luna. Charmed." In my mind, she was the cautious and discerning one.

The next one to introduce herself was the pink pony with three different colors in her mane. Bowing her head, she revealed her name. "My name is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza." Princess what-now? "But I would be pleased if you would call me Princess Cadance." Much better. To me she looked like some sort of marketing device that they used to sell off some sort of toy to little girls... or a misprinted mold of the one called Celestia.

The purple one, a younger pony with a more plainly look bowed before me. "And I am Princess Twilight Sparkle." Please let there not be any talk of vampires, werewolves or mentally-unstable, teenage girls with aspergers syndrome. Either that or else I'm jumping off a bridge right now. "I hope that we can be of assistance!" Nah, too much expression in one sentence to be another Kristen Stewart.

"So now that we all know each other, mind telling me where I am?" I inquired.

The pony called Luna walked before me and held up a map. Without her hooves... or her mouth... or anything at all.. Okay, I'm calling witchcraft on that one. "You are in the realm of Equestria." She raised a hoof to the center of the map. "More notably, here. The town you currently reside in is called Ponyville."

Ponyville, really? Okay, this whole thing sounds like a marketing ploy for little girls. I guess that it doesn't really matter what I think. The name is on a map, it's a thing. "Okay, so where in Ponyville am I?"

"You're in my castle." Said the not-a-reference-to-a-certain-franchise-that-I-absolutely-hate-for-such-a-one-dimentional-protagonist-and-bedazzled-vampires-sitting-in-the-sun. "Pinkie Pie brought you here after you hit your head on a branch."

So that's why I can't remember shit. Explains a lot actually. I must be unconscious, lying in a hospital bed and this world is a figment of my over-productive imagination. So all I needed to do was acknowledge that this is a dream and that I could wake up from it. Simple enough. "Okay, then if this is real, then I guess I shouldn't feel anything at all when I do this."

In an instant, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could, hoping that I'd wake up from this Wizard-of-Oz world. And to my misfortune, I only managed to slap the shit out of myself. My cheek burned with a certain knowledge that this was indeed the furthest thing from a dream.

I'm beyond screwed.

"Wow, I've never seen somepony wanting to knock themselves out so much!" A bright and high-pitched voice chimed out from the group of ponies across the room. I almost forgot that they were even there.

There was one with a pink, curly mane and sported an even brighter shade of pink as her coat. Then there was another with a yellow coat with a long, light pink mane, a white pony with huge indigo curls cascading down her face, a fourth with a bluish-cyan coat and... rainbow hair... Okay, either this is a bad acid trip or this is actually real. The last one was pretty normal looking with the exception of wearing a hat.

As the five mares, as well as some purple lizard-thing stood side by side, Twilight Princess introduced me to each of them.

"Nondis, these are my friends: Pinkie Pie," I'm assuming it's the pink one. "Rainbow Dash," Again, assuming that it's 'gay pride' over there. "Fluttershy, Rarity and Applejack." Okay, those three I'm lost on. "They will be around to check in on you every so often, so feel free to let them know if you need anything."

"That thing is staying here!?" The rainbow pony asked in disbelief. At least it identifies me as a thing... Aaaaaand now I feel offended.

"Why, haven't you been listening to anything, Rainbow Dash?" The white pony with the curls chided her friend. "That 'thing' is called a human."

"It looks... kind of odd. Are you sure that we can't take him to the cottage?" The yellow pony asked quietly. I'm assuming that she's the shy one.

Now I get it, she's the one called Fluttershy... Because she's shy and stuff... I don't know.

"Um... forgetting someone?" The lizard creature asked quietly, sounding quite annoyed of being ignored. I'm going to assume that he's the one that's been taken for granted. What's the word for it.... butt-monkey?

"Sorry Spike. I was about to introduce you as my 'number one assistant', but was kindly interrupted by a certain somepony." Twilight Sparkle answered as she glared back to the one called Rainbow Dash. It would seem like that the rainbow one was apparently the smartass of the group. I think I might just grow to hate or love her. Too soon to tell.

"Well, under normal circumstances," The burnt-orange pony responded with a thick, southern accent as if she was from Tennessee. "But considerin' the size of this *ahem* human n' the fact that Fluttershy's cottage is already home full of other critters, Ah guess it doesn't make no lick of sense to send 'em there... If it's a him."

"I'm a male, yes." I pointed out. "If I was a female, then my chest would be a little or a lot bigger, my hips would be a little or a lot wider and my arms would be a lot thinner." Of course those things vary from individual to individual.

"I can attest to his statements. He is, indeed, a male human." The purple princess cosigned.

"Very well then." The larger, white princess sounded out. "I will be entrusting you with his care until we can manage to find him a way home."

"Then I suppose that we will be needing that mirror to the alternate universe." The blue princess called Luna stated as she and the other two princess walked off, leaving the purple princess and her friends to tend to me.

Wait a second, what did she mean by 'alternate universe?' Is this Star Trek or something?

"You can count on me, princess." Twilight bowed to the three who left the room, taking the two guards standing beside the door with them.

At least I can get a little more comfortable.

"Hey Twilight, check this out! He still has his fingers!" The purple lizard said, stating the obvious. My only reaction was a simple eye roll as I commented to myself on how he could come to such a conclusion. Guy's a genius.

"I've noticed." She answered as she turned back to me, lifting my left hand in the same manner that Princess Luna levitated the map just earlier. "But shouldn't he have hooves like us?"

No. I should be as I am. No need for me to cut my hands off so I can walk around on big meaty stubs. I am just fine.

As she held my hand in the air, I noticed a magenta glow that surrounded the area that was being manipulated by her. Not only was it bright and sparkly, but it was also warm, like a flame. I reached over to touch the glow around my arm, but as my fingers got close, I felt the area around it warming up quickly. Initially, I perceived it to have the similar effects that fire would normally have against human skin, so I removed my freed hand as quickly as possible. As I allowed my left arm to flail around lifelessly, I looked to the purple winged unicorn and saw that her horn was the exact same color.

Wow, unicorn horns are actually magical.

"Um... what are you doing?" I asked timidly, scared that the magenta flame on my arm would spread like a wild fire.

"I'm only making a few observations. Nothing more." She answered as she continued to lift my arm and twist it gently, turning it over to get a view of the palm of my hand.

I sat in silence as the princess continued to observe my arm. In the moments I sat, I managed to discover that her horn could actually manipulate a variety of things at once. One such item was, of course, my arm. The others were a clipboard, a quill and a book that she read as she turned my hand back over. It amazed me that she could multitask the magenta auras around so many items at once. I can barely do just one with both of my hands.

The next second became a bit of a horrifying experience. Thought it just started as a bit of a startle, the magenta flames that once engulfed my forearm then traveled to my hand. I instinctively let out a shriek as I offered to use my right hand to pat out the flame. But my mind reeled back to when I first touched the flame with my free hand. Realizing that doing that would be a bad idea, I pulled my hand from the magenta grasp. That's when the horror sat in.

I pulled my hand, and found that the flame actually held me in place. That aura actually exhibited a force strong enough to resist my retreat and keep my hand in place. Screaming, I slapped at the aura around my hand, causing the princess to jump back and cut off the flames. My left hand now freed, I clasped onto it, holding it as if it was something precious. It was something precious.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" The princess repeated over and over as I held my hand, making sure that there were no burns. As she reached out for me, I pulled back in fear.

"Please, stay away!" I called out to her, completely convinced that she was dangerous to me. Shortly after, I hid under the sheets of my bed, not wanting to look at her.

I'll take back my inward comments about the Twilight series as long as she leaves me alone.

I stared back to the shadow of the princess who struck fear into my mind. Almost instantly, I started to feel myself shrink as another shadow stood beside her.

"Twilight, what's wrong?" One of the shadows asked.

"I don't know. I just held his hand and he started freaking out."

"Um, I know that it's probably out of place to assume this, but maybe he's not used to unicorn magic."

Magic? That's what that was?

"Argh..." The silhouette of the princess seemed to raise a hoof to her head in shame. "I shoud've thought about that. The human world doesn't have much magic in it."

I stayed under the covers as long as I could to avoid looking at these ponies. I was more than scared of them if they were capable of these kinds of things. Meanwhile, I saw one of the shadows grow smaller as it closed in on me.

"Mr. Human, are you okay."

I didn't respond, no matter how frail the voice was.

"Twilight said she's sorry. She didn't mean you any harm. What had happened was that she was shifting her magic to your hand. I can assure you that she isn't going to hurt you, and neither are we. Isn't that right girls?"

I heard a group of voices from the front of the bed chime out as they agreed with her. The other ponies started to surround the bed.

"Ah promise, we ain't gon' do no harm to ya." One of the shadows said.

"Yeah! So come on out!" The other shadow said in a raspy feminine voice.

"Oooh, I can't wait to throw a Welcome-to-Ponyville party for you!" The third shadow happily suggested while bouncing up and down.

"And I can't wait to see what you're wearing under those sheets." The fourth shadow added. Suddenly, I wasn't feeling so comfortable now that one of the ponies were being outright perverted. All I was wearing was a T-shirt and some worn-out jeans.

"We're not going to hurt you in any way or form. We just want to help. So please come on out." The princess pleaded with me as I hid under the blankets.

I remained hidden for a short while as the ponies around me continued to cheer me out from underneath the blanket. I felt like some sort of child in an unknown world, hiding from some monsters. Hell, I was a child in some unknown world, hiding from a bunch of pastel-colored sentient equines who could alter time and space with just their minds. I don't know what I was in for. But as their cheers continued to ease themselves into my ears, I grew soft towards them. Eventually, I poked my head from underneath to see six smiling faces.

Each of them smiled gently, with the exception of the pink one, who looked like she had plans for me. As I slowly eased myself from under the covers. The ponies continued to cheer me on. I didn't know exactly what was going to happen as soon as I came from underneath these covers all the way, but I was convinced that it wasn't going to be anything bad. Finally, I settled out of the comfort of the sheets and became exposed to the six mares in the room.

"Thank you for coming out." The yellow one spoke quietly. "I was really worried that you might've been scared of us."

"To be honest," I spat out nervously. "I still am." Despite these creatures being a little less than half my size while standing on all fours.

As I sat up in the bed, I heard the white unicorn tsk at me. "Darling, you could do so much better than that." Really? I'm being judged right out of the starting gates? "But pay you no mind. As soon as I get the proper measurements, and the anatomy, I will be supplying you with premier outfits more suited to a well-mannered gentlecolt such as yourself."

Okay, that was something completely from left field. I didn't see that one coming. At least it was more of a 'let me help you' rather than a 'let me judge you' type of sentence... Wait a second, what did she just call me? "Um... Gentle... colt?"

"That's right! Are you saying that you aren't a gentlecolt?"

I didn't know how to answer that without being offensive. I just knew that a colt was hardly something that I was. But I guess I can take for now. "No! Not at all. I am one! I was just thrown off by the... colt part."

"Well ya are a guy, right?" The country pony asked.

"Yes. But-"

"Then yer a colt to us. Plain and simple."

Just roll with it, Nondis. You can be politically correct later. "Uh... sure."

"I suppose we need to reintroduce ourselves." The pink pony sounded out as she bounced lively by my side.

This is far from the world I've come to know and tolerate. I say tolerate instead of love because not much was really interesting in my life. But since my coming here, it's been anything but uninteresting. I've wandered into a world of magical talking equines who could manipulate space. Maybe I'm just digging into it too much, maybe not. I can only wonder. But as for now, my main concern is but one thing...

Where is the bathroom?

With the (anti)brony-wandered-into-equestria scenario being done all the time, I'd figure that I'd do a story where the human is unaware of the world of MLP. No bronydom, no 'I watched the show'. Just completely oblivious expectations, like that first year of college. I also wanted to give the guy the personality of an actual social-reject. Like he comes up with snarky comments to himself but when he speaks, that snark is practically nonexistent.

If you've ever been one at one point in your life, then you'd know what it's like to come up with "How-awesome-I-could've-been-at-this-one-point-in-my-life" situations in place of "Damn-I-did-some-cringe-worthy-shit".

There is a warning about the next chapter: There is a bit of toilet humor.

Warning: This chapter will include content of disgusting nature. Read it anyway.

Have you ever been in a situation that you just wish that you could forget about? Now add that to the fact that the situation keeps replaying in your mind over and over and over again. A situation so embarrassing that you reflexively clench your fists or toes as you thought more on it?

Just me?

Well, after a month of being in this magical land of talking, prismatic equines, aptly called Equestria, I've ran into some of those moments. Where do I even start? Here's one, the first time I actually managed to take a tour of the town.

My first week of being in this strange land, I decided that it would be best for me to lock myself in the room I found myself in when I first met everyone, or everypony as they would prefer. I was so enraptured by the fact that I was the furthest thing from home that I had forgotten the basic things needed for survival, with the exception of sleep and using the bathroom. As for the bathroom, I will say it later.

So a week after my barricading the doors shut and keeping the windows barred, a pink earth pony (yeah, I was informed of the different types by then) decided that my social life was in need of a turn up. And of course, I instantly shot that down. The next day, she came with two of her friends, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash to help get me out of the room. Much to their dismay, I was insistent to keep myself to myself. And finally, the day after that, Princess Twilight knocked on my door.

I let her come in and we decided to exchange some personal stories about ourselves. It turns out back then that she wasn't really the social acolyte she is now. She was awkward and often locked up inside of her room, reading all kinds of books to herself. I could sympathize with her on wanting to withdraw from the societal norms and the desire to be of the 'in-crowd'.

Though the only difference was that I had an internet connection that furthered my distraction. I remember a certain video where there were two guys saying what they were going to do. One guy stated that he was going to do an 'internet', which was followed by a flash of rainbow light and 8-bit music. The other guy stated that he was going to do a book, which did absolutely nothing. Same case here.

With a book, you can read all the pages and be done with it by the end of the day. With a computer, you'd find yourself on so many sites where one page leads to another, to another, to another, to another. It was an endless cycle, at least until the power went out or the internet connection went bad. Either way, I was religiously browsing on it for whatever, be it comedy, abridged series of my favorite shows, memes, YouTube comments or porn. So... much... porn. I mean, you can read porn, but who wants to do that when you can just watch it?

And just like I'd have to delete my browser history and defragment my hard drive, I needed to get back on focus.

That story short, she had ultimately informed me that she would be taking me out on a day to tour the town. And despite my outward cries of objection, she dragged me with her magic out of the bed and into the streets. Of course, she also managed to introduce me to a few ponies she knew or would associate with from time to time. Then she took me to Rarity's to have some more clothes made for me.

Yeah, the first time isn't nowhere near a charm, even for a trend-setting fashionista. The first 'shirt' was still made for a pony with a few mis-cuts here and there. My first pair of pants were unable to hold under pressure, so as I walked down the streets with the princess, I was already being mocked for my appearance. It didn't help me any when the sound similar to velcro ripping apart screeched in my ears as the pants fell hopelessly to the ground.

I have never felt so exposed in my entire life.

The rest of the day, I had to walk around the town like a hairless ape because my pants were ripped and my shirt couldn't hold itself together. I know that Twilight felt genuinely sorry for me, but I just wanted to leave this world and go home. I couldn't stand being in a place where I couldn't even have some dignity while walking down the street. Yes, the ponies here are walking around naked, but they're used to seeing each other like this.

Humanity is a totally different ball game.

By the time I managed to get back into my room, I had actually slammed the door in the princess' face. I couldn't bear to look at her as my cheeks changed to a deep crimson. After I managed to escape my unfortunate hell, I continued to lock myself in the room and keep myself there until further notice. And every so often, the princess would talk to me through the door.

A few days after that, I walked out of my room to take a shower. And as soon as I step out from cleansing myself, I find a pink pony bouncing up and down as she happily threw streamers and confetti everywhere. I knew that she was often referred to as the premier party planner of Ponyville (hooray for alliteration), but I didn't expect for the party to show up outside of my bathroom. Seriously, I clenched the towel around myself in earnest desire to keep my boys hidden from view.

But that didn't seem to distract from the fact that she giggled over how freely they swayed as I tried to turn away from her. She even had the guts to call them cute.

So after that embarrassing event, she invited me to a party, held in my honor. I was flattered, but more intrigued on why she would waste such valuable resources on throwing a full-on party bash for me when she didn't even know me. It would be held a month or two down the line, thanks to my expertise in the art of negotiation.

I'm lying. That party was going to be held sometime that afternoon. The argument I tried to place out wasn't getting through to her. And our conversation was more of a battle of attrition on my part.

"Pinkie Pie-"

"Just call me Pinkie, silly filly!"

"Okay. Pinkie, I really appreciate that you are throwing me this party. Really, I do. But can we do it sometime within two months of me being here? I really feel as if I should get used to the town and the peo... *ahem* ...ponies around it."

"Oh Non-non," She already gave me a nickname. "This party will be the quickest way you can get to know everypony. Everypony loves to party with Pinkie Pie!"

I can tell. Free food, free drinks, free music, free fun. It's like a smorgasbord for moochers. I'd know because I was the prime example of such. "You think so?" I asked.

"I know so!" She cheered. "In fact, why not get to know everypony and the entire town today!?"

I felt myself wanting to be a turtle at this point. At least I could hide inside of a shell when I didn't want to be disturbed. To hell with that. "T-t-today?"

I could see the concern growing on Pinkie's face as soon as I stuttered the word. Her smile faded to a small frown. "What's wrong, Nonny? I thought you'd like to get to know everypony."

"I do." I didn't. "It's just that I really wanted to do it at my own pace." I lied. Realistically, I held off on getting to know anyone because I was still waiting for the other three princesses to inform me when I could go back home. At least there, I was familiar with everything and the systems of society. At least I could change out of the same pair of jeans and t-shirt that I've been stuck with for the past week and some change.

"But everypony really wants to get to know you too." So let me guess, you were selling tickets of admission? "I told everypony about you! And they were really looking forward to meeting you!"

"What did you tell them?" I questioned her. I was expecting some sort of carnival pitch at this point. Would it be wrong that I could already hear the the circus organ playing in the distance as the little children ran up to me, poking me with their hooves.

"I told them that you were a really warmhearted guy! Like reeeeeally huggy and that you were really nice and kind, though you were a bit shy." That couldn't be it. That couldn't be the big sell. "And that you also give some of the best belly-rubs in all of Equestria!"

I only rubbed her belly once. She kept begging me to do it for three hours straight and I finally caved. Apparently before that, Twilight informed Pinkie of the intricate nuances of having fingers and their effects on the natural distribution of belly rubs. And being that everyone in town liked Spike for being a pretty decent back scratcher, I guess everyone has a thing for the digits. The fingers I mean. But I rubbed her belly for about thirty seconds and she was kicking her leg like a dog when you hit that certain spot that they like.

If there was anything to get me out of this, it would be me trying to get this party set up for a later date. At least the crowd would forget about my abilities with my fingers. I also hoped that some mares wouldn't take anything out of context.

"Okay, we can have the party, but it can't be no earlier than-"

"This afternoon?" She finished before I could get my demands out in the air.

"No. I meant two months down the line."

"Two o'clock this afternoon? That's a bit last minute, don't you think?"

YOU'RE ONE TO TALK! "No I mean't two-"

"Hours from now?"

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. "Four weeks."

"Today at four?"

"Three weeks."

"A three minute party... I don't know if I'm ready for that just yet."

What are you implying? Nevermind, I don't wanna know. "Two weeks."

"Aww, but I have to babysit the twins in two weeks."

I cannot take this girl seriously. "Next week."

"I'm throwing a party for my sister Maud next week. I can't do that one."

Oh for the love of- "Five days."

"Shopping for party supplies."

"Four days."

"I have to work."

Where the hell do you work? A power plant or a sugar factory? Don't tell me, you do both. "Three days."

"I have to take care of the twins that day."

At least she's organized enough to plan ahead. I will give her that. "Two days."

"Friendship meeting and work."

The fuck's a friendship meeting? Is it like alcoholics anonymous, but for sugar intake? "Tomorrow."

"I can't. I promised Applejack that I'd help her on the farm."

Damn this girl for keeping herself busy. I give up. "Tonight?"

"Sure! I can set you up for seven tonight! See you there!"

I coughed as I reached for her, but she just kept bouncing off like an overloaded pogo stick. She giggled and snorted as she gleefully galloped down the hall, leaving a mortified human to wonder what he should do next now that he'd be the center of attention for the first time of his life. I'm popular just for showing up and now I didn't know how to take it.

Then again, I wasn't really the one for attention.

Later that night, I was pretty much the elephant in the room. Not even the zebra on the other side of the room or the eldritch abomination that had the body parts of several animals could point at themselves because of me. I was more than nervous, I was nauseous.

Mulit-colored faces stared at me with large eyes struck in awe as Pinkie Pie introduced me to the entire town. The mayor even welcomed me with a ceremonial sash, that fitted me rather well actually. Soon after, I was reintroduced to Rarity, who looked like she had been through hell to get here. But her reason for looking so outlandish was because she stayed up all night to make sure that the anatomical features of her newest outfits for me were in accordance to Twilight's notes.

At least I wasn't confined to the same shirt and pants anymore.

"Darling, I couldn't just let you roam around in those clothes anymore. And I didn't want that dreaded wardrobe malfunction you suffered the first time you had an outing to happen again. So this time, I made you a little something special." She said as she pulled out a black box with her emblem, or as they say cutie mark, on it: three blue diamonds clustered together.

I opened the box to see a white button-down shirt with long sleaves, complete with a set of decorative cuffs. Also inside of the box as a pair of black slacks. Though they were a little loose, the shirt and pants were really a nice fit. It was a relief to wear something outside of my burnt orange t-shirt with the Longhorns emblem on it and my old, worn-out jeans. I swore I spent the next five minutes thanking her for what she did. And shortly after I changed into my new clothes, they asked me to do a speech.

My speech consisted of one word, one buckling motion and one pile of vomit on the floor.

Shortly after that, I had to take off my new outfit so that Rarity could wash them up. So I changed back into my old clothes and spent the next five minutes apologizing to Rarity about the mess I made in my new clothes.

I swear, Spike really let me have it as I was apologizing.

Three more weeks after the party, I was notified by the four princesses that their attempt to alter the mirror had been unsuccessful. If it had taken a full month to get a formula wrong, then that meant that I would be here for at least another month or so for them to get it right. So imagine my surprise when they told me that they had to construct a brand new mirror so that they could send me home. They informed me that the average building time for one mirror was practically seven or more months due to mathematical reasons.

I already hated being trapped here, why am I spending another seven months here? Not my place to complain, but I am in a bit of a rush...

Why am I in such a rush anyways? I can't seem to remember.

Anyways, a new month had arrived on schedule. And as the time marched on, I was constantly reminded of what made me so different from everyone else here. This wasn't my place to be. I didn't belong here. I know I sound like I'm complaining a lot but I haven't eaten any meat since I first arrived here. I was tired of living off of straw and hay like I was some sort of animal. I ate nothing but horse-imitations of food.

Hayburgers, hay fries, hay bacon strips, all that other stuff. After a while, I just informed Princess Twilight that if I was going out, then a salad would be all I order. Either that or a large pizza with no oats or hay on my side.

Yeah, so me and Twilight decided that our outings would be a little more frequent. Being that I had more clothes in my closet, thanks to Rarity, I figured the best thing I could do is oblige the princess in her daily visits to random venues across the town. One such place was the Hayburger Inn just across town. Luckily, she could fly there while I had to walk. But she decided that she would walk with me, saying that it would be unfair that she'd leave a friend behind.

No complaints there.

Another thing I managed to discover about the young princess. She had one hell of an appetite. I couldn't even focus on the salad on the table because I was so mesmerized by the purple winged-unicorn scarfing down five burgers, three sides of fries and guzzling down a large soda. I asked her why she didn't opt for a diet drink. Her response was rather lengthy and exhausting, filled with a bunch of science stuff that I had no interest in. In a nutshell, diet soda was worse than the real stuff.

I just stared at the mare across from me as she greedily scarfed down numerous bites of her meal. If this was the real world, I'd feel entirely sorry for the cow that died to feed her. I'd also envy the rancher, knowing that his produce is being devoured at such a blinding speed. He'd be rich by now. In speaking of burgers.

"Oh yeah... Now I remember. You humans are actually omnivores."

I raised my head in curiosity over her extensive knowledge of the human diet. I quickly motioned my hand to her to keep it down, so that the other ponies around wouldn't know what the other half of my diet really was. I didn't need to cause a panic.

"You know, if you really want something like that, you could just ask me." Twilight quietly noted before levitating, that's what they call it, a set of fries to her mouth.

I was floored. To know that this princess was more than willing to negotiate with me to get a steak or two. I know that I shouldn't eat meat around equines, but who the hell cares? I wanted some meat inside of me and I didn't care how I was going to get it. "Really?"

"Well..." she briefly paused, thinking before continuing on. "Yeah. The other princesses have been made aware of your dietary needs, just so that they can accommodate you on your next visit." Great so now the high rulers of the land know I eat meat. That won't pan over so well come the next meeting. "However, there are strict limitations on what you can and cannot eat."

I sighed heavily, realizing that beef may be off the menu. "Okay, go for it."

"I'm afraid that you are unable to eat any sort of pork, beef, lamb, buffalo, ostrich or rabbit." Yup, my choices are narrow as hell. "But your diet can consist of any sort of poultry or fish."

I guess chicken is up for grabs then. "Great, so can I get actual french fries?"

She hummed as she held a hoof to her chin. "Um... depending on what those would be made of."

"Potatoes." I deadpanned.

"Then yes, those should be fine. I'll have that as a special order when you come by here."

Score one for me. "Great, then can I get those to go? I would really like a taste of home before we head back."

Twilight dropped her head. "Sorry. We can't get any of those today. I'd have to request that some potatoes would be brought in."

I shrugged my shoulders in defeat. "So I guess I'm stuck on salad until further notice?"

"Just for a little while. But in the meantime, We can head out to Sugarcube Corner for some petifores."

"Those sound nice right about now." I answered happily. But my happiness soon turned to concern as my bowels started to notify me that it was time to rid myself of some bodily waste. "But not right now..." I laughed nervously. "I need to take care of some business."

"What kind of business?" I can't believe she just asked me that so openly.

"Um... I need to go to the little boys room."

"Oh..." A long silence followed her confirmation as I looked away from her in embarrassment. As she sat at the table, I was too busy trying to search for the bathroom. As I shifted my eyes back and forth, Twilight cleared her throat to get my attention.

"Um... it's over there." She quietly pointed out directly behind me.

I nodded as I made a hurried walk for the hallway. When I entered, I found myself at the center of two doors. Of course, I would normally go to the one that said 'men'. But in this case, there was no sign. There wasn't even the little emblem that had the guy standing normally or the girl with the skirt. There was just two doors, one with a pegasus on one side and another with a unicorn. If I was to guess, I would say that the one with the unicorn was for girls and the one with the pegasus was for guys. Only one problem with that theory: horns and wings were genderblind.

I looked back and forth to the two doors, dancing in place as I felt myself getting close to launch. But as of now, I didn't know where exactly my rocket could take off. I squealed like a pig as I continued to hobble from leg to leg, trying my best to hold it all in. In reality, I was hoping that there was someone in one of these bathrooms already, that they could make their way out so I could tell which was the right bathroom. And to my added misfortune, no one was in either bathroom.

While I continued to curse my luck, I heard a set of hooves come from behind me. I had no time to focus on who was approaching. I needed to make a decision, and I needed to make it now. Looking over to the door with the pegasus emblem, I took a deep breath and slowly walked over. I clenched my eyes shut as I slowly reached out for the handle, only to find something tugging at my shirt.

"Um..." I turned around to see what was tugging at me. To my surprise, it was none other than Twilight. "I think you may want to go to the one over there." She pointed to the door facing the opposite way of where I was headed. "This is the filly's room."

"What?" I tilted my head with bewilderment as she rolled her eyes and pointed out a few features that I should look out for.

"Look at the muzzle, if you see that it's rounded off, then it would be for a mare and if it's blocky, then it would belong to a stallion."

Somehow, I thought she would tell me this prior to my coming here. But I was NOT going to argue with her. I needed to drop this load, and I needed to do it now. Making a mad dash for the opposite side of the hall, I disappeared into the men's bathroom.

I immediately took to the largest stall, sat on the toilet and handled my business. As I finished delivering the package, I looked over to see that there was no sign of toilet paper.

Dammit.

But luckily, another stallion came into the restroom. As I sat at the toilet, thanking fate for it's fortune, I heard the stallion walk up to my stall. He pulled on the door, realizing that it was locked. "Taken." I sounded out.

"Arrgh! For the love of all things, I cannot stand being in these small stalls." The stallion sounded out. From what I heard, he sounded like he was some sort of announcer for the circus. And judging from the hooves in front of my door, I'd say that he was a heavy-set fellow. No wonder why he wanted this stall in particular.

As he nearly broke down the door to the stall next to mine, I cringed as I hoped that he'd be taking care of business, in a liquid form. In a fraction of a second, I heard him lift the lid on the toilet, sit himself down and sigh.

"Maybe he sits and pees." I noted to myself, trying to be optimistic.

What I heard was a completely different affair.

A series of grunts as well as other sounds that I shudder at the though of remembering trumpeted throughout the bathroom as the guy next to me struggled to contain his cries of relief.

"Oooohboy! Have ya tried any of the new chili cheese hayburgers with the extra jalapeños? Things are to die for."

"I know one thing that's already dead: the thing you just ate." I mumbled as I tried my best to hold my breath. If there was a reason why the 'gas-chamber' method of execution was discontinued back in The States, this guy's picture would be sitting right next to Adolf Hitler. While he continued to grunt and I continue to hear the ploshing of toilet water, I tried to speak into my shirt so that I didn't taste what this dude was unleashing. "Excuse me, sir?" Oh God, I could taste it even in my shirt. "Do you happen to have some toilet paper in there?"

I heard some movement, though I felt myself sink further into despair as I heard him groan. "Sorry laddie, I have no paper to give ya."

God, if you exist, if this is the exact retribution you had for me since I denounced my beliefs in a higher power, if this is the punishment for the blasphemous sin of my unbelief in you, then I have a few questions to ask. Does this please you? Does this hell I suffer give you a laugh? Are you content with the pain that I now endure? Are you not entertained by my suffering? Or is this just the beginning? I can only assume you're just laughing it up right about now.

Oh God, why? I can taste the smell.

While I find myself on the verge of vomiting, I hear yet another stallion walk into the restroom. As he entered, I heard him speak. "Yesh! What died in here!?"

I'm close to it, if that counts.

As his hooves clop to the nearest available stall, I can still hear the lava spewing out like a running faucet next door. Meanwhile, the fat guy is sitting here, making fun of him. "Hey boy, this is how a real stallion smells like!"

"I didn't think I'd need to wear my armor for this." He mumbled out. I suppressed a chuckle out of fear of me tasting and smelling the putrid air of this guy's exorcism. At this rate, we'd need a priest to cast out whatever demons this guy had because it smelled like the devil's unwashed testicles. I could only assume that our recently acquired party member was only going number one.

"Hey you!" I shouted out of a last resort, hoping that I could get some toilet paper before I'd sit here and started crusting. "Do you have any toilet paper?"

As soon as I heard the toilet flush on the far end, I knew that hope would come. "Nope, none in this one." And you've dashed them quite effortlessly, sir. Well done.

I heard him approach the sink to wash himself, pull out a few paper towels to dry and see the white hooves with blue, unshorn fetlocks stand before my door. Immediately, I saw it like an angel descending from heaven. A magenta aura surrounded the stack of paper towels that fell upon my lap like a divine gift from God.

"I'd figure you needed these."

I called out to thank him, bout found that he had already left. With eager ambition, I wiped myself clean of my sin and flushed my transgressions against humanity down the porcelain drain. Making a dash for the sink, I knew that my cries for freedom were answered. Finally wiping my hands, I walked over to the middle stall with a pinched nose, handing a large stack of paper towels to the one who was still wallowing in his cesspool of sewage.

"Here you go." I said as I quickly dropped the small care package and ran for the door.

At last I was finally in the free air. I took deep breaths, taking in the freshness of the restaurant. And I had that mysterious guard to thank, my knight in shining armor.

"Twily!" Someone yelled out unexpectedly.

"Shining Armor! BBBFF! How's it going?"

I instantly turned around to see Twilight standing next to the guard with the white coat and the blue unshorn fetlocks. I instantly ran over to bow before him with tears in my eyes. "MY UNDYING SAVIOR!"

As I bowed before him, Twilight giggled as the stallion looked at me with confusion. "Uh, Twily, who and what is this?"

Twilight levitated me off the ground as she introduced the two of us. "Oh, Shining Armor, this is Nondis. He's the human that Cadance and I've been telling you about."

Shining looked at me, seeming rather unimpressed. "Huh, that so?"

"Nondis, this is my older brother, Shining Armor. He's Captain of the Royal Guard and prince of the Crystal Empire."

I gawked at Twilight's introduction. Not at the Crystal Empire or the Captain of the Royal Guard part, but at the fact that this girl had a brother. Either way, I was going to be metaphorically kissing his ass for a while. "Thank you. Oh thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou!"

Twilight blinked and tilted her head with unsureness, looking to her older brother. "Care to explain?"

"There was a stallion in there unleashing hell and he was caught in the crossfire. No toilet paper."

I heard the princess snort as she tried her damnest to hold back her laughter. And almost instantly, I felt myself shrink an entire three feet as she broke out laughing on the floor.

After that little run in, Shining Armor, Twilight and I spent the rest of the day walking around the town. Of course, we vowed to never, under any circumstances, to talk about what happened in the restroom again.

NEVER... AGAIN...

Have you ever been in a situation that you just wish that you could forget about? Now add that to the fact that the situation keeps replaying in your mind over and over and over again. A situation so embarrassing that you reflexively clench your fists or toes as you thought more on it? Well, after a month of being in this magical land of talking, prismatic equines, aptly called Equestria, I've ran into some of those moments. And judging from the reaction on your faces, I can say that sharing this was really all the more awkward. But sometimes, it's better to get it out in the open. Sometimes, your story can be a bit of an ice-breaker. Sometimes, you need to look back and laugh at some of those moments.

Like that one time Twilight got drunk at a party.

How many parties can a Pinkie Pie plan if a Pinkie Pie could plan a party? The answer to that is ALL OF THEM. I know that for the first three months of my being here, I couldn't managed to fathom how this mare could juggle all of these parties with work, babysitting, helping her friends out with various errands, visiting family, making her rounds through the town and taking care of business at the castle. When she said that it was because she wanted to do her best to make the world smile, I just simply laughed.

Most of the time, she'd have me walk around with her. Her reason for doing it: so that I could understand what it really meant to spread the joy of laughter and making others smile. She even went further to explain why it was much better than hiding in my room for hours at a time. My response was that I didn't like walking around the entire town all day. It's like going across campus without a bike or a car. Plus it's literally nine miles that I walk whenever I make these long excursions. At least I'm losing weight.

How she has the energy to make these walks and be supermare still eludes me.

Pinkie Pie, or Pinkamena Diane Pie as her full name, was nothing like any other person or pony I've met. She never stops smiling. She always seems to put everyone else's happiness before hers, and in turn it makes her happy. I don't understand how sweating up a storm from these long walks would be so much of a flea in comparison to everything else.

But then I remembered that equines happen to live on their legs. It doesn't matter how long they walk, they're born and conditioned for this kind of stuff.

Three months have came and went. I've practically known the mares around me for a while, been able to learn their particular rules as a society and how they deal with many of their problems. It's amazing actually. These ponies consider themselves as an egalitarian society, despite having an established monarchy. Everyone here pulls their own weight, yet they all lean against each other. No one pony is more entitled than the other. I guess that's why Twilight doesn't have much weight when it comes to changing policies based on her title alone. If she wanted the approval necessary to change something, she'd have to prove just how trustworthy she was. And judging from how quickly I could managed to eat some rotisserie chicken in the privacy of my own bedroom, I'd say that she's managed to prove herself on more than one occasion prior to my arrival.

Another thing I've manage to pick up about Twilight. She has a long-standing crush with one of the guards stationed at the castle. His name is Flash Sentry. As far as I could tell, they pretty much talk whenever the opportunity presents itself. But when it comes to the public eye, they keep their relationship strictly professional.

Huh, I wonder what they're doing right now.

Why did I just ask myself that? Meh, whatever. I just know that Twilight is happy. In speaking of crushes...

"Hey, Pinkie?"

Pinkie Pie, who was busy humming as she pranced around like a foal who just received her weekly dose of candy, stopped in mid-air and turned her attention to me. "Yes, Non-Non?"

Despite her calling me that being cute, she creeps me out whenever she defies the laws of physics. Anywho... "Do you have a crush?"

She blinked and turned away quickly as she immediately pulled a Fluttershy on me. I knew that it was normal that Fluttershy would hide under a bush or behind a tree when someone asked her a rather invasive question. But to see Pinkie in the same manner, I didn't think that she'd be so shy about it. If anything, I'd expect her to be a little more open to it.

As she fell from the air, she almost curled herself into her tail, hiding behind a thick, pink bush of hair. Her voice grew a little quiet. "Nondis, you shouldn't ask ponies personal questions like that."

Did she just correct me on being personal? This is all coming from the mare who compared my balls to a swing-set. I guess that some boundaries are okay to cross as long as their mine. So much for that egalitarian concept.

"Oh..." I hummed as we stood still for a while. She looked away and I pretty much just rubbed the back of my head. I didn't know how to diffuse a situation like this. I guess my best bet is to diffuse the previous question and change the subject. Always worked when I was at home, why not here? "Nevermind then. So what are we-"

"Do you wanna know?" She asked quietly, still poking her sapphire eyes out from the jumbled pink mess of her tail.

"Well-"

Pinkie jumped out of her tail and met me nose to muzzle, her eyes glaring into mine. Personal space was never really a thing around her. Eventually, I grew to get used to it. "Do you reeeeeeally, REEEEEEAAAALLY wanna know?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Sure. Knock it out of the park."

Pinkie immediately retracted herself from my face and started up with her usual prancing in a circle as she told her story. "Actually, I did have a crush! I had a few of them! The first one was my dad."

Say what now?

"Because when I was a little filly, I always loved my dad and I always said that he would be the first guy that I'd marry!"

Oh... typical kids stuff. She was completely innocent at the time and probably didn't understand what she was saying then.

"Of course, my dad told me that it wouldn't be right for us to get married. So then I got into a crush with this one guy named Pokey Pierce. We went out for a date but things didn't really work out between us. He'd wanted to..." At this point, Pinkie's smile weakened. "...go a little further than what I wanted for a first date."

Oh... damn, what a dick.

"So then, I actually tried to date a colt by the name of Caramel. We went on for about four months. After the first time we shared each other, I... never heard from him again." Her smile had completely disappeared into a very faint frown.

You know, I'm beginning to understand why she's so insistent in making others smile.

"So after that, it was Big Macintosh." Applejack's older brother. "But then I found out that I may be related to him."

Close call.

"And finally, my most recent one was Cheese Sandwich." Try not to laugh at the name, try not to laugh at the name. "We met one time and had a goof-off over who would plan Rainbow Dash's Birth-iversary, meaning that it was a full year since she moved to Ponyville and her birthday."

A two-for-one deal. Nice.

"So we planned the party together, and he gave me a gift." Her smile returned, now she was practically glowing as she talked about this guy. "We used to write each other every single day! We'd share some ideas on what we could add to a party, what kind of food we could serve up, what kind of games we could play! I knew in my heart that he'd be the one that I could grow to love."

So this guy is the bees to her knees.... Okay that was bad and I should feel bad. I am so sorry.

"But..." Her smile faded completely. I even saw her mane deflate just a little. I had to catch my jaw before it hit the dirt. This was a completely new side of her that I haven't seen. "When I asked him if he was interest in something more than a partnership, he said yes."

Then what's the problem?

"We continued to exchange letters, though the intervals... grew. From days to a week, from a week to many weeks, even from weeks to months. He decided that our relationship couldn't really take root as long as he was traveling. I asked him if he was willing to take root here in Ponyville, but he couldn't."

Pinkie, the happiest mare I knew, the girl that never stopped smiling, was crying. I didn't know what to do or say. I could only watch as the streaks of tears flowed down her face as she looked at me, still telling her story.

"So he broke it off, saying that he couldn't be in such pain. He didn't want to be so sad to the point where he couldn't spread happiness anymore. Even I knew that it was affecting me too, because I started throwing more and more parties. Then I finally realized, the main reason why I planned so many parties, five in one day, was because I was trying to make up for one party guest that couldn't show up."

I get it now. Partying was her drug. She'd get the high of seeing others smile and she'd experience the same happiness because of it. If she doesn't party, then she doesn't make others smile. And if she doesn't make others smile, then she'd stop smiling. I guess there's a lot more depth to this mare than I had originally thought.

"So we made a promise. We'd stop writing to each other for a full six months. If he still felt the same way, then he'd write me and tell me that he would come to Ponyville. If not, then he'd write me a letter, telling me how everything's been for the past six months."

Oh... I guess that's why it's been so hard for her to answer my question. "So... How long has it been since you've last gotten word from him."

She looked away from me, stirring her hoof in the dirt as she gave me her answer. "Less than two months."

So it's really an open wound for her. "Ok. So, I guess we can talk about something else."

"What's wrong?" She asked me, close to a whisper as her tears stopped flowing.

"Because I don't wanna talk about this anymore."

"What about you? Have you had a crush?"

Plenty. And they all ended in the friendzone, a lovely little place where aspirations of getting laid are all but realized. Also known as relationship hell. So where do I start?

"Well, there was this one time in high school..." I can't believe I'm telling one of these damn stories. "I liked this girl called Melanie." Because fuck confidentiality. If Pinkie can name hers one by one, then I can reveal the name of one of my worst 'zonings'. "We talked for a few weeks, grew close but ended up being no more than friends. I eventually told her that I had feelings for her, but she said that she didn't feel the same way. So as time went on, I watched as she went from one guy to the next. And after everytime she broke up with one of them, she'd call me up to talk to me. Though I wasn't one for many words, I did my best."

"What happened between you and her?" She inquired.

"I guess, I was tired of being the emotional rebound. I had feelings and I had desires, but she wasn't going to look my way. I wanted to show how much I liked her, but she wasn't going to let me. So why trap myself in such a one-sided relationship?"

"Maybe she's scared to lose you."

I turned my head to the direction where the pink pony sat, caught off my guard by the words she had just uttered to me.

"Maybe she's just waiting for the right moment, for you to grow up some, for you to mature. She sees a lot in you and maybe she's testing you to see how far you are willing to go with her. Sometimes, being a friend is more important than being a lover, because being a lover would require you to trust each other. And that trust has to start from somewhere."

Who the hell is this and what did she do with Pinkie Pie? Pinkie is never this profound. Goofy, silly, batshit crazy? Yes! But this... this was something different than what I had come to know in the three months I've spent here. This was definitely a horse of a different color. No pun intended.

"But now that you've broken that off, she'll never know the answer. Because you were too selfish to see what she was trying to do. Nice guys, who are genuine about one's feelings, finish last. But really they finish first."

Sometimes, I really hate hindsight. Because it tends to sit in your face and tells you I-told-you-so. If anything, it annoyed me how it brought up the past and what I could've done to make things better. Instead, I chose to let my high school libido drive me to think that the best thing to go for was sex. She knew what she wanted, and I was probably a work in progress that fell apart in the last moment.

It's times like this where my mind would normally play out the scenario in a much more positive light, or play myself being the hero on a white stallion who came back to make himself her white knight so that she could be the best of everything. That was my so-called relationship, the one I claimed that was real, the one that I repeatedly lied to myself and others about.

I'm so stupid. Why did I even bring this up?

"But..."

My ears had guided me back to the pink mare, who was amazingly smiling all over again. Her mane resumed it's usual poofiness and her voice became as high-pitched and squeaky as ever. And those tears that once glided down her cheeks had dried up.

"I know that everything will be fine. If he doesn't want to go on with me, then I can continue to live on. There are others I could look to. Others who could make even me smile."

I instinctively reached out and grasped the pink equine, taking her in for a powerful hug. I squeezed her as she returned the gesture. I didn't want her to feel as if she was going to be alone. I wanted her to know that everything was going to be alright.

But really, I wanted that hug for myself, because I was the one who needed it.

"Non-Non, you give the best belly rubs and huggles, you know that?"

Aaaand she's back. Good to know.

"So where are we going today?" I asked her, finally able to break ourselves out of the previous conversation. I really didn't need to see her like that again.

"We're going to the market. I need to buy some more supplies. Some confetti, streamers, party balloons, noise makers, tablecloths, cups, a punch bowl, some punch, some paper plates..."

Same old Pinkie. I think I like her more already. I at least have a level of respect for her. She's really a decent mare. Better not get too attached or else I might be trying to bring her with me. While she continued to name off the items on her list, I walked beside her, watching the happy mare bounce up and down with an enormous smile stretched across her face.

I couldn't wait to see how happy she was going to be when we had the party at the castle tonight.

Later at the castle, I sat against the wall as I watched the other ponies around me dance and partake in the random festivities all over the grand entrance room. Practically over half the town was in attendance as they celebrated the castle's annual date of establishment, a full year since it's completion.

I was actually expecting this to be somewhat of a semi-formal affair, considering the royals who were in attendance. Princess Celestia was busy conversing with some of the town's business owners. Princess Luna was actually having a ball on the dance floor. Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor were sharing a few jokes with some of the locals about life in the Crystal Empire and Twilight was busy flirting with her romantic interest. Meanwhile I'm just sitting here against the wall, dressed in a tuxedo, while everyone else were letting loose.

I never danced at parties. I was, what my parents would call some people back in their youth, a wall-flower. It means that I take my pleasure in watching everyone else dance while I sat quietly to myself. Every now and then, I'd usually see a cute girl pass by me and I'd catch a glance of what they had in the back or a peek of what they rocked in the front. But being in a land of ponies robbed me of that experience. Ponies didn't wear clothes, so there wasn't much to the imagination. Plus they were a different species, I wasn't even going to go there.

As the DJ turned up the volume on the speakers and the others danced on the dance floor, I remained propped up against a wall on the far end of the room. It all seemed so different, yet so familiar. I remember when I was in high school, when I first met my crush Melanie. It was at a party and she was pinned against the wall just like I was. The only difference between her and me was that she had gotten out of a pretty bad bought with her ex-boyfriend a few days earlier. I was there because I knew that I couldn't dance.

She saw me standing to myself as I drank a cup of some of the punch they had spiked. As I was about to guzzle the whole thing down without a care, she told me that I should lay off the drinks.

"You shouldn't drink so many of those!"

Melanie was a pretty decent looking girl. She was about three inches shorter than me, medium-longish, brown hair with bangs, dark-brown eyes, a cute little smile and little double-chin that she often became self-conscious over. She wasn't exactly skinny, but she wasn't big either. She was about average in proportion. She didn't have a huge ass or anything like that, but it was pleasant to look at. Her chest was pretty sizeable; a c-cup. She wore a pink spaghetti strand top with jean shorts at a pretty modest length, complete with green-and-white striped knee-high socks and white Sketchers.

"You do know that they boozed the drinks, right!? The last thing you wanna do is either get your ass kicked or get dieseled!"

Personally, that was a 50-50 chance of a happy ending on my end. At least I could go around and say that I got laid. With probably the school whale, but laid nonetheless. But knowing me, I'd probably end up talking with some chick that was already taken and have my ass thoroughly gifted to me in wrapping paper by her angry/jealous boyfriend/pick-up. So I drank in moderation.

"...Thanks." I mumbled to her, barely making a sound in contrast to the blaring music over the entertainment system.

"You said what!?" She screamed back, not able to hear me.

"I said thanks!"

For a moment I just sat against the wall, not even looking at her because I was contemplating over what I should say next. Nothing came to mind, so I just went for something simple.

"So, what made you come here!?" Such a stupid question on my part.

"I just thought I needed to get away! A party is a good way of wasting time, you know!"

"Away from what!?"

Rolled her eyes as she flicked her hand, shooing away at the air as if there was a fly bothering her. "Fuck, life!"

I guess that's a good reason. But that's where I couldn't carry on anything else. A long pause grew between us as the music continued to throb in the speakers. I cleared my throat as I adjusted myself against the wall, shifting my supporting foot so that it wouldn't fall asleep on me.

"So what's got you sittin' here!? Shouldn't you be out there dancing!?" She shouted over the music.

"I just don't do dancing! I'm having fun just standing here!"

"You sure!? That makes you look like a bit of a creeper!"

She always had a sense of humor. "Nah, I'm fine!"

"So you don't wanna dance!?" She said, finally turning to me.

"Nah, I'm cool!"

She walked over to me, smiling as if the world couldn't hold two candles to how happy she was. "You sure!?"

"Yeah!" I answered.

At this point, she drug her fingers against my arm as she pulled off her best imitation of a puppy. "Even if it's with me!?"

I hesitated as I gave her my answer...

"WHACHA DOIN!?!"

"SHIT!" I yelped as a familiar face appeared before me. As I grasped at my chest, making sure that my heart hadn't jumped out of my throat and onto the floor somewhere, I noticed two large orbs of sapphire staring me in the face, surrounded by a mess of pink curls.

"What's wrong?" Pinkie asked me as I tried to catch my breath.

"You scared the living shit outta me! That's what's wrong!" If I hadn't been to the bathroom just before I came here, I'd be crowning at the very least.

"No... Why aren't you dancing!?" She asked me.

"I just don't like dancing." I plainly answered. It doesn't matter what world of dimension I was in, I was not going to embarrass myself on the dance floor. At least, not this time.

"But everypony loves to dance! Because dancing makes you happy. It makes you feel free!"

Then if it makes me so free, then why does if feel like I'm some sort of indentured servant dancing for money while the others stare and point at me while I do it? "I just don't, okay?" I answered dismissively, trying to give her the hint that I didn't want to dance.

"Come on, Non-Non! Let's have some fun!" The pink menace before shouted as she started to dance.

To my horror, she had started to lunge for me in an attempt to pull me off of the wall. I slid from where I stood and made a smooth transition to my left. I guess Beyoncé was on to something when she wrote that song. But now was the time where I had to go on ahead and change my direction now that Pinkie was zoned in to my new location. I slid to my right as she ponced where I once stood. As I slid to safety, she slid face-first into a wall.

I cringed as I almost felt the impact that her face made with the crystaline wall of the room. Yeah, that's definitely gonna leave a mark. But to my surprise, she rose off of the ground, only rubbing her muzzle as she looked at me. I was more amazed over how unphased she was from the blow. She just stared as she spoke.

"Oh... Now I get it."

Finally, she understands that I don't want to dance.

"You don't wanna dance on the floor..."

Yup, because I don't want to dance on the floor.

"...Because you..."

That's right, you're getting there.

"...wanna dance on the wall."

Finally, she ge-wait what?

"I didn't know that you were into that kind of dancing, Nonnie."

I instantly felt myself shudder at the implications of the word 'that' and how she stressed it. Before I could even fire up some sort of neurotic response, her pink tail whipped around my waist and she sprung over to me, slamming her hooves against the wall on either side of my chest. I raised my arms so that those sledgehammers wouldn't find themselves turning the bones in my arms to a very fine powder. As she stared back at me, she giggled while she looked into my eyes seductively. Playfully, but seductively.

"But for you, I guess I could get used to it."

She started to rock her body against mine, sparing not even an inch of space between us. She playfully chortled as she dipped on me, twisting herself around while her tail continued to pull against my waist. As she turned around, she pulled my hips against her, landing me directly against the dock of her tail. As I made impact, I could see the ripples of pink briefly glide across her flank. I looked down in shock over what this mare was doing to me. While I was too busy gawking at her, she rolled her hips in a circular motion, grinding against me as she stood on her hind legs. One of her forelegs reached out to cradle my neck, bringing my head close to hers as she giggled.

"You're fun to dance with, Non-non! Not many stallions could last this long!"

I've grown accustomed to the ebonic phrase of 'back-dat-ass-up', but this was a league I was completely unfamiliar with. She dropped it low, brought it back, wound it like a top and dumped it on me. I need to get away from this girl... chick... pony... DAMMIT!

She was so, I know it's wrong of me to say human, but I couldn't find anything else to compare it to. Her motions, her fluid-like transitions, the way she turned and the way she moved. I had actually forgotten that she was a different species from me. If this was a girl from my world, I'd be just as flustered, only with a raging boner.

Oh wait... FUCK!

"Pinkie," I whispered in her ear, which in hindsight was probably a bad idea as I felt her sink even deeper against me, driving that pink pair of cheeks against my pelvis. "Don't you think we should stop this? We are with some rather important company."

She laughed as she pointed towards the other side of the room. "Hehehe... I don't think Princess Cadance minds too much."

As I looked over to where the pink princess stood, she was busy showing some of the spa ponies how to perform a massage, with her ass, on her husband's lap. Shining was too invested in the view as he fanned himself while biting his lower lip.

"They're married." I argued to Pinkie, hoping that my point was still with some sort of merit. Though to be honest, I'd expected Cadance to hold herself with higher standards than giving her husband a lap dance in public. Then again, princess of love.

"Then tell that to Princess Luna." Pinkie rebutted, pointing to the lunar princess to our far right.

My jaw fell to the floor as I watched the princess dancing with a local as she screamed out the words 'blame my sister' with drink in her magical tow. Celestia looked on with a hoof to her face in embarrassment as she shook her head.

Wow. I guess Pinkie won that round. But I wasn't going let myself succumb to my body's involuntary reactions to an external stimulant such as this pink pony dancing dangerously close to me. I needed to get her off so I can keep my sanity. And as my eyes became locked to the center of the room, I formulated a plan.

"Hey, Pinkie, let's take this to the floor."

"Sure thing!" She cheered as she pulled me with her tail, dragging me to the dance floor. As she bowled into a crowd of ponies, I felt her grip slipping on me as the others bumped against both me and her. As I carefully walked one way, I managed to find that her grip had completely eluded me. Now free from the pink, fluffy tentacle, I carefully navigated myself away from the center of the pack and onto the floor's outer edge. Finally in a clearing, I sighed with relief as I quietly celebrated my escape.

But as I commended myself on a job well-done, I couldn't help but to notice that Twilight and her guard was walking off into a darkened hallway. Instantly, I felt a little nosy over what she and her guard would be doing that required them to wander off like they did.

Why was I following this mare around like this? I have no idea. But I needed to find out what those two were up to. The curiosity inside of me was dying to know. Looking both directions, I tip-toed after them into the dark hall.

Whatever they were going to do, I was going to find out.

As I quietly followed the two down the hall, I managed to stop my journey just a turn away from a elegantly decorated hall. Apparently, the two large doors at the end of turn lead into Twilight's personal chambers.

If they were going to do what I think they were going to do, then I really didn't need to be here. But I found my curiosity overriding my sense of decency. I didn't know why, I was just compelled to watch. While I continued to debate in my mind on whether this was a good idea or not, voices rang in my ear. I turned my head and hid myself behind a pillar as I watched the two talk amongst each other.

"And that's why I'd never underestimate the Pinkie sense." Twilight finished, causing the guard to laugh.

"Wow... I'd never think that she was so clairvoyant." The guard responded. "So... I guess that you're retiring for the night? I think it's a little early, don't you think."

I shifted myself quietly to get a better look. As my eyes dawned past the crystal pillar, I saw that Twilight started to play with her hooves.

"Flash... We need to talk."

"Sure. What's wrong?"

"Nothing... I just..." Twilight looked to her door nervously, opening it slowly as she backed out of the way. "Would you like a drink? I have plenty of refreshments inside. Maybe you and I could talk over a good book or something."

Even I knew what that was an invitation to do. But Flash, oddly, wasn't biting.

"Princess-"

"You don't have to call me that. Just... call me Twilight."

"Well... Twilight... Look... I'm flattered. But..."

I could see from a mile away that Twilight was more than afraid of what he had to say next. Me being in that situation, I would be too. "But?"

"I like you. You're a cute mare, you have a wonderful personality and you're so willing to open up to me. I like that about you. I would be more than willing to get into something like that with you..." And here comes the pain. "But... I just don't see us... like that."

Twilight's ears flopped back as her head dipped a bit. "Oh... I see..."

"It's not really you. It's more of me. I like your kind attitude and how you're so willing to go outside of your comfort zone. But there are reasons why I can't do this."

"If it's because of you being a guard-"

"No... That's not it. It's more of... I... Well no offense, but I was hoping for somepony with a little more... spunk."

For a moment, I swore I could hear the sound of paper ripping in two. But I knew just exactly what it was. "So the quiet-librarian type isn't your cup of tea?"

"You are beautiful, princess."

"Flash, just stop."

"Twilight-"

"No... I'm tired of hearing compliments from a stallion that I let so close to me, only for him not want anything from me. I wanted something."

"I'm afraid that I can't give you what you're looking for, princess."

"No... you were what I was looking for." Twilight walked into her bedroom as she tried her best to avoid looking at him. As he reached out to her, she levitated his hoof away from her door nonchalantly.

"Twilight... please don't-"

"I was just too stupid to see that you didn't feel the same way."

Flash stared at the crack in the door as Twilight disappeared into the darkness of her bedroom. Her horn was the only source of light as she stared to the floor.

"P-princess-"

"Goodnight, Flash. Forget that we ever had this conversation."

The door clicked as it finally came to a close. Flash knocked on the door one last time before he made his leave.

"But we're still friends, right?"

I watched as the door cracked open, this time with an absence of magic. Twilight responded quietly. "Yeah... But I don't know how close I want you to be to me right now."

The door shut once more, leaving a remorseful Flash Sentry standing before it. Without any further comment, he left the princess to her quarters. I hid myself from view as he walked by me, wearing a gloomy frown upon his face. I knew that he had regretted telling her no, but at least he didn't tell her yes and lead her on.

I know Twilight would've loved for that to happen.

After about two minutes, I slowly crept to the door, knocking and praying that she was okay. The first knock had no answer, so I knocked a second time. This time, I was met with a response.

"What do you want?"

I knew that I was really playing a risk here, but I didn't want her to be depressed like this. It's hard dealing with rejection, especially when you thought something was more than certain. With a heavy breath, I spoke my name.

"It's Nondis. You wanna talk?"

I knew that talking wasn't one of my strongest suits, but she needed someone to vent to. Otherwise it could lead to some very unhealthy thoughts and choices. None of the other girls were around, so at least I needed to fill that role. Or fail trying.

"Do you need anything?" Even in sadness, she was still concerned for my well being. I hated it. I hated that, seeing it for the second time in a single day. First it was Pinkie, and now it was her. I told myself that I really didn't want to see these happy little... these girls to feel so burdened. I wanted to make a change for once, at least I knew how I could relate with her in this case.

"I need to talk to you. I want to talk to you." Why was I so invested in seeing Twilight feel better?

The door cracked open and in it's darkness stood a lavender mare with tears running down her face, her eyes reddened from crying so hard and her cheeks flushed red.

"Can we talk?"

And her breath ripe with alcohol. She'll be feeling that very soon.

A half hour has passed since my early leave from the celebration. Twilight has been sitting in my lap, which was now covered with an assortment of fluids, most namely that of saliva, tears, snot and sadness. Also a drop of shame from Pinkie's earlier performance. As Twilight bantered on about all the times she spent with Flash, I had came to the conclusion that this guy was really confused over what he passed up on.

"You go... *sniff* to an alternate universe and... *sniff* meet a cute guy... who just so happens to break up... *sniff* with a total power-hungry whorse *hic* and finds you cute. So I thought... being that I was going to be a good friend... *sniff* was going to show him that... what he really wanted... *sniff* ...was right under his muzzle!"

Yeah, the alcohol was really kicking in. Her hysterics practically matched her to Rarity at this point, and that mare is a complete ham when sober.

"So what do I do?" She looked to me as if I was going to answer that for her. I knew that it was a rhetorical question, but she took a rather lengthly pause that left it wide open.

"You... try to win him over?" I guessed.

"I tried to win him over! And what does he do? He turns around and throw me into the dumpster."

I'd never thought that she'd be the type to be so emotional over a boy... erm... colt. But then again, the freshly open wound of rejection, plus two bottles of Applejack Daniels, will do that to you. Being honest, I was more than happy to see that she hadn't hit rock-bottom from all the alcohol she just downed. Otherwise, her prayers would have to go the god upon the porcelain alter.

It's just too bad she didn't even bat an eye at the bottle of Moscato d'Asti on her nightstand beside a book labled Soulful Serenades by Quill 'n Ink.

So while she continued to cry in my lap, I petted her slowly on the top of her mane, making sure that she was comfortable. At the very least, she was much better than what she was when I first came in. I didn't think tackle-hugs would be a thing with equines. So having a full-size equine that stood up to your upper abdomen with a pointy-ass horn charging at you can make you do a 180 and bolt. At the very least, the pain of me being steamrolled to the ground was a lot less intense than I had anticipated.

There were times in her banter where she would pause, and at those moments, I knew that it was time to bail. In a situation like that, it would mean that the chunks were on standby for flight. And I really didn't want to mess up this outfit more than I had already done. But luckily, all she did was hurk and burp before continuing on with her rant.

"Nondis... *hic* ...am I pretty?"

Oooooh boy. Here we go.

"Am I... a pretty mare?"

I know how to answer that, it's just that right now, I'm kinda left questioning my sexuality since Pinkie plastered me on the wall. I got a boner from a talking horse. If that isn't the textbook definition of classy, then I'm pretty sure that awkward is looking to add to it's long list of offenses.

Twilight grabbed me, barely able to concentrate on her magic long enough to turn my head to her.

"Am I pretty!?" She shouted in my face, still reeking of booze and sadness.

"Yes!" Despite the disheveled mane and the obnoxious smell of alcohol permeating my nostrils, she was really pretty. At least by equine standards. Okay... I'm lying to myself, she was pretty. Just... not at this particular moment.

"TELL ME I'M *hic* PRETTY!"

Her demand came out forced and slurred as she struggled to keep her head in one position. Either way, she was a princess, and there was no way I was willing to find out what the Equestrian prison system was like. If it's anything like the one at home, then I was definitely unprepared to take on any stallions.

"Yes... you're... very beautiful."

"DON'T CALL ME BEAUTIFUL!!!" She screamed, damn-near blowing my ears off. "That's what he called me..." She trailed off before breaking into another sob fit.

"Look Twilight," I really didn't know what I was going to say to her. She's inebriated and will probably forget everything I said to her by the time she wakes up in the morning. Afternoon. That hangover is going to require some SERIOUS hair-of-the-dog treatment. "I know that he's turned you down. But what I do know is that there is plenty more guys... stallions..." Force of habit. "...who will be willing to see that you are worth something."

Twilight raised her head, looking at me as she wobbled. "Non, I don't feel so great."

Welp, it's time to take this therapy session to the bathroom. I tried to lift myself up, seeing if I could at least pick her up and carry her there, but she magically tugged me back down by the seat of my slacks, clasping her hooves around me as she anchored me in place.

"Please don't leave me alone! I don't want to be alone!" That's the alcohol talking through Twilight.

For a moment, I offered to say something. "Twi-"

"Shhh." But she shushed me with a hoof to the lips. I've gotten used to those by now.

I wanted to say something else. "Can we-"

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHT!" But she replied with a long shush as she pressed into my lips even further.

I kept quiet from then on. I was hoping that the effects of the alcohol would wear down soon. Dealing with the princess while she was like this was really uncomfortable. Her hoof dragged off of my lips and flopped onto my chest. Her head did the same as she started to play with my hands.

"You know... humans have such unique features." Her speech was still slurred, but at the very least she started to show some signs of her usual self. I remained quiet as she continued to speak. "Hands can do everything that hooves can't. You can grab things and have a really good grip on them. With hooves, sometimes what we try to grab can slip."

I laughed a little at the thought. "Do you prefer to have hands then?" I asked, wondering what her response would be.

"No thanks! I've had them before, and I didn't like them. I'll keep my hooves, thank you very much."

I felt a desire to scratch my head at her statement. Perhaps the booze was still polluting her thought process after all. "You... had hands?"

Twilight batted a hoof at me, laughing all the while. "Yeah. I didn't tell you? I was a human for five whole days!"

Okay, that's really something that explains why she knew so much of the human anatomy. She actually walked a day in our shoes. That was something to really think about.

"So do you want hooves?"

"NO! No. No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. I love my hands. I wanna keep them." There wasn't nearly enough no's to describe how much I wanted to stay a human. I couldn't imagine myself walking on fours. Or worse, living life without hands.

"It'll only be for three days! I swear I can change you back!" Her horn started to glow. I wasn't going to let her start casting spells on me while still drunk. That was a big no-no. For all I know, she could turn me into some sort of satyr or some ass-backwards centaur. I was not willing to live with the repercussions of an inebriated mare's spells gone haywire.

"NO!" I exclaimed, grasping at her horn with my right hand, holding her horn and cancelling whatever magic she was conjuring up.

And her reaction was one that I didn't expect.

"Ooh... Nondis..."

Okay... What... did I just do? Twilight wrapped her hooves around my arm as I let go of her horn. As I pulled away, she used all of her physical strength to pull me back. I wasn't sure of what I did, but I'm sure that she had liked it.

"Am I... special?"

Those words pulled something from inside of me. And I knew just what it was. Those were the words that I often heard from one of Melanie's breakups. Usually she'd cry and sob and we'd both stay up on a Saturday night, eating pizza and a bunch of other fattening foods while we watched comedy specials on TV. At least those times really helped her get past Guy-X and move on to Guy-A.

So I knew what to say then. "Twilight," At least I didn't screw up the name. "You, and only you, can define yourself as special. If you want to be seen as that, then you have to look at yourself and assure that you are special before I can give you that answer. Of course I'm going to say yes, but what does it mean if you can't find that out for yourself? If you don't think that you're special, then you're always going to find guys who will see you as the opposite."

Dr. Phil, eat your heart out.

"So... I'm special... to you?" She asked me, looking at me with blood-shot, watery eyes.

"Yes. You are very special to me." No lies there. Twilight was unlike any other person I've met. Sure, she bore similarities, but she was in a league of her own. I really did enjoy my time with her.

So where was she going with this?

"Prove to me that I'm special."

What did she mean by that?

She pulled my arm out of the way and craned herself up to face me face to face. Not long after staring me down, she leaned her head against my chest. My heart was going a million miles an hour and right now, it was running on a nuclear reactor. I was scared of what she was getting at. She only confirmed my fears as she reached out and anchored her hooves onto my shoulders. She slid her head up to mine, her eyes closed part-ways as she glared at me, whispering to me.

"How special am I to you?"

I chuckled nervously, trying to keep a cool head as I came up with random answer. "You're a princess."

She shook her head. "No... I don't mean that. I mean... who I am. To you."

Let me count the ways... A lot. But where she was going with this was completely out of my zone of comfort. "Too many to count?"

One of her hooves managed to find it's way from my shoulder to the back of my head. She inched closer to me. I could feel the fermented breath steaming on my skin. "I can count without saying anything."

I was more than horrified, I was confused. I felt myself wanting to kiss her, but I knew that my moral upbringing managed to override my desire to do so. But as her lips grew close to mine, I knew that a decision was going to be made, whether I was prepared for it or not.

"One..." Her purple eyes glazed over as she wrapped my head with both of her hooves.

"Two..." Her wings had started to unfurl as she adjusted herself to where she could take me head on.

"Three..." The skin of her lips lightly grazed mine, initiating the brief contact before she pressed against me in full.

"Twily? You in there, kiddo?"

And almost instantly, I felt myself become scared of what her brother would do to me if he saw me like this. I tried to pull away from Twilight, but she held me in place. As the knocking continued on, I felt that everything had started to move faster than what I could react to. Even as Shining walked into the room, I could only see a cold, hellish anger deeply plunging into mine.

"I'm so sorry." Twilight whispered to me.

I turned my attention back to the purple mare as she separated herself from me, looking down.

"Say what?"

"HURK!"

Oh... Fuck me to the wall...

About five minutes later, Shining Armor and I walked out of the room where Twilight rested. As he closed the door behind him, he looked to me with a stern expression on his face. I'd knew what was coming. As he wound up a hoof, I could only wait for the incoming blow I was going to get. I could only hope that it didn't kill me.

"Thanks a mil." Shining said as he gave me a inspirational, and very painful, pat on the back. I hissed and grunted as the blow took it's sweet time to register in my mind. "I really owe you one for this."

"Nnngh... No problem." I stressed as the pain in my back started to fade.

"I knew something was wrong when Flash came back alone." Cadance stated as she walked over to my side. "I really wanted those two to really hit it off. Twilight really liked him and I wanted to see her happy. But I guess our little plan didn't work out after all."

"Nope. So you know what that means Cadie." Shining said with a smug expression on his face.

"Aww... But Shiny, I don't like anal." Cadance moaned out painfully, completely ignorant to who was around.

Wow, these two are very open about their marriage. And in speaking of open...

"Hey, Shining Armor. Have you happened to find a bottle of Moscato d'Asti while you were in there?" I really wanted that bottle of wine.

"Oh, I almost forgot." He chimed as he quietly opened the door and snuck in to grab the bottle of wine and left the room. "I suppose me and Cadie will be sharing this tonight."

Dammit.

"Oh no you aren't. I'm getting this bottle." Cadance argued as she levitated the bottle from his magic.

"What's wrong with sharing? I'm down with fifty-fifty." The prince suggested.

"If we're doing anal, then I'm doing this bottle. Ninety-ten."

"Sixty-forty."

"Eighty-twenty."

"Seventy-thirty?"

"Seventy-five; twenty-five."

Shining lost that argument. Even the shit-eating grin he wore had disappeared as he cringed in defeat. "Alright! You win."

"Noblesse oblige, sweetums."

As the two walked down the hall to do what they wanted to do, I was left alone in the hall, reeking of booze, vomit and shame. While I started to make my way to my room, I could only imagine the hell I was going to go through when Rarity found out about this mess on my clothes.

She's going to kill me.

How many parties can a Pinkie Pie plan if a Pinkie Pie could plan a party? ALL OF THEM. How many does it take to completely screw up the rest of your life? One. How many does it take to completely wash off all the alcohol, throw-up, tears, drool and sadness off of your expensive shirt? Well, there isn't an answer for that one. But how many more of those parties I would go to, just to do it all over again? See the answer to question one. The math is pretty simple, even if there is one of those parties where everything turned out bad, there are several others you can have that makes that one, single night seem so insignificant to the others.

I guess what I've learned in the three months here, especially the past night... YOU DON'T EVER FUCK UP RARITY'S CLOTHES!

NOT... EVER!

Going with my usual formula here. It will come back eventually, but I know that I like what I did with the first two chapters. So be prepared. I feel sorry for Nondis, Rarity can be really aggressive when it comes to dirtying her clothes. Who knows what she may have in store for the poor guy.

They say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. They say that women put the devil himself under their feet so that they can stand eye to eye with a man before she tears him down. They say that the world will tilt on it's ass if all the women of the world decided to wage a war on men.

I have one thing to say: I wish I had a bunker.

Not because of the women raging for war, not because she's standing taller than I am, not because of a woman... No...

Who'd knew that a pony... less than half your size... could make you seem like you were nothing more than a flea... on the pimple of a roach's ass cheek?

It was a sunny and peaceful day in the small, humble town of Ponyville. The citizens carried on their day as the foals ran up the streets. The birds sang as they nested with their young, the butterflies gently floated through the air as they collected the sweet nectar from the colorful flowers that lined up all across the streets. Ponies everywhere celebrated the cloudless morning by walking around the town, visiting friends and often talking as they watched the foals play. Everything was serene...

And then there's the Carousel Boutique.

"YOU...
DID...
WHAAAAAT!?!"

Whose windows busted wide open from the booming of the mare's voice.

I've pretty much curled myself into a ball as Rarity stared me down, levitating the ruined tuxedo I wore just the previous night. If anything, I knew that my skin would be the hottest item on the runway come next fall's fashion line. There was no denying it. Rarity was angry, and she was very much on the verge of exploding. But I can understand her reason for doing so.

That tuxedo was hand... hoof made. It took her a full week to get everything where she wanted it. Even with my body type being a bit of an obstacle, adding more time to what's already considered to be strenuous work, A tuxedo made to fit me took twice as long as it would for a pony, considering that they don't need the excessive amount of fabric to hide themselves from the elements.

So not only is it time, but it's also resources wasted. Yeah, Rarity was going to run my ass through... and her little lizard too.

"Rarity, I'm so, so, so sorry. I was only trying to-"

The fashionista zipped from across the room of her boutique, backing me into a corner as she slowly walked towards me. "Your blatant, disrespect for the art of fashion has caused me enough grief as it is. BUT THIS, THIS HAS GONE COMPLETELY TOO FAR!"

"I didn't mean to. Honestly-"

As my back hit the wall, she continued to walk towards me, even restricting all means of my retreat by anchoring her hooves into the wall. "I cannot even begin to explain to you how angry I am with you!"

"I'm sorry. Really." I could only barter for mercy while she seemed to be on the verge of seeing if my skin would make a nice pair of socks.

"Just what were you doing to create this... catastrophe!?" She stressed, throwing the shirt with the brown barf badge in my face. I was more relieved that it was already dry than disgusted that it was still resting on my face.

"Twilight got sick." I muffled from behind the shirt.

"What?" Hard to tell the facial expressions of others when you have a dried-up prayer to the porcelain god staring you in the face.

Removing the shirt, cringing all the while, I answered her. "Twilight had gotten really sick and took to her bedroom. So when I checked in on her, she told me to stay with her for a bit. After a while, she couldn't hold her feelings inside and decided to let me know everything that was going on."

"Oh. Well that's very nice of you. But that doesn't tell me-"

"Including the carrot and oat stew she managed to have for lunch. That conversation she had while her brother managed to enter the room."

A look of disgust became written over Rarity's face. "...Ew."

"Which leads me back to here." I would prefer that she didn't know the real reason why Twilight had resigned from the party so soon. Flash was already getting his ass reamed by Shining Armor, so I might as well save him the pain of dealing with her would-be-equally-pissed-off friends.

Then again, seeing that would be rather amusing.

"So... the reason why this tux looks like this is because-"

"Twilight was a little under the weather." I finished, still remembering how she gave me a subtle apology before spewing to me the many nutritious dietary choices of an equine's daily intake. I will never look at carrots the same way.

Rarity backed away, mainly because of the mildly offensive smell that the shirt gave off. "So, Flash didn't take her up on her invitation, I presume."

That's a pretty accurate guess. How the hell did she find that out? "What makes you say that?"

Rarity held a hoof to her nose as she trotted of to retrieve something from a closed drawer. "Oh darling, I could see all the signs from last night. Firstly, there was the long conversations that those two held apart from everypony else. Secondly, Twilight has always had a crush on Flash. Thirdly, the two disappeared after a while. And fourthly, Cadance and I came up with a few measures to ensure that they were to be left undisturbed as they talked, much to Shining Armor's objections."

You know, that would explain the public lap dance she gave to her husband. It takes the attention off of those two while they made their escape. But that still doesn't explain why the Princess of the Night was literally mooning the ponies in attendance. Either way, in their case, it's a score plus one.

"Yeah... It turns out that Flash indicated that she wasn't his type."

"WHAT!" Rarity shouted, looking at me with surprise. "How did you get that information?"

I eavesdropped. "I've... gotten some... credible resources?" And I'm an idiot. Any blind person could see that I was obviously lying.

"Oooh! Details darling. I want to hear all of them."

Nope. Don't mind me princess, I'm just disclosing one of your most embarrassing moments to that of one of your closest friends, who seems to be highly invested in gossip. Nothing of wrong can possibly come out of this. I can only think of the pain that will befall me if the tabloids hear of this, assuming with their social infrastructure having some likeness to that of the human world, that a tabloid exists.

"Well-"

And just as I was about to start, a small baby dragon, by the adorable pet name of Spike, entered into the room with a wooden bucket full of hot water, complete with a washboard. "Hey Rarity, you got the fabric softener ready?"

"I most certainly do." The white unicorn sang-sung, holding up a small blue phial filled with the aforementioned liquid. She turned back to me, waving at me to continue my story. "Oh, don't get distracted. Carry on."

Spike cut a disapproving glance my way. "Is this the story of how he messed up the tuxedo that you worked so hard to make?"

Can't tell if he's trying to guilt-trip me, or brown-nosing for Rarity. Either way, she did give him an answer. "Actually Spike, he had a legitimate reason for why this happened."

You know, the fear that I once felt when I initially showed up to the boutique this morning had all but remained.

"Even though my tedious, hard work has been shunned a countless number of times by his perpetual habit of staining my precious outfits with musk, sweat, and dirt. Even with the first outfit I made him that ended up in shreds, the material was left out in the middle of the street to pasture and be trampled upon. I could've recycled that material rather than let myself waste such fine resources."

On second thought, that fear is very much alive.

"Yeah, I don't understand why you work so hard for this guy." Spike mumbled.

Really, jackass? I am just about three seconds from slapping gemstone from the gaps in between your teeth. "Sorry."

While Spike and I continue to have a full-on knife fight with just our eyes staring each other into a crater, Rarity levitated the shirt into the water. "Spike, what have I told you about playing nice with others?"

The miniature dragon rolled his eyes and sighed deeply. "Sorry. I promise that I will never, ever question why you need clothes again."

Spike was very big on sarcasm. I can see why he's pretty much the whipping boy of the cosmic forces. But then again, I do impede on his time with Rarity. Each night, she works hard to come up with some clothes for me, and that's on top of her usual commissions. He just wants some time with her. If he feels like I'm trying to make an advance on her, then he'd be happy to know that I'd have no interest in her. Then again, he'd accuse me of having poor taste and chide me for rejecting her. Because that's what all white-knights do for their princess. That's a battle I would lose, no matter the choice.

"Spike, did you also manage to bring back those jewels from the Diamond Dogs so that I could work of my newest line for tonight?" Rarity asked as she did her best to remove the stain from the shirt, also levitating the pair of pants, vest and overcoat to her side.

"I don't know what you said to them that makes them so scared of you, but there's one thing for certain, they really do like giving you jewels."

Is it because she can be scary when angry? I may just find that out today.

"Oh. Nondis dearie, it will be a while before I can give this back to you. I will have it ready by tomorrow so you should be able to come have it in your possession by then."

Really? Nothing from this? No punishment, no lightning bolts, no torture chamber with a bed of nails and a swinging pendulum of death? Well color me impressed.

"Though, I will be requiring your assistance come tomorrow. Spike will be busy with Twilight, so I'm afraid that I will need an assistant for tomorrow's errands. Consider it as a means of atonement for defiling my clothes for the umpteenth time."

I get to be an errand boy for a pony less than half my size? Oh well golly-gee-whillikers, I can't wait Batman! No literally, I haven't had any real bonding time to get to know Rarity. I guess that will change tomorrow. At least I didn't have to meet with a terrible fate in order to do so.

"So, what time tomorrow?" I asked.

"Oh, I'll come and get you when I need you."

"Great. See you then." I said, while making my way to the exit.

As I stepped out into the hall, walking downstairs and stopping shy of the front door, Spike had caught me just before I could leave.

"Can I help you?"

Spike gave me a stern expression as he just merely stared. "You better watch your back."

It amazes me how something so cute and small thought he could be something so life-threatening. "Ooooo.... kay?"

"Rarity is not going to be some sort of mare you can just be around and not have any consideration on what and how she feels. You should treat her with more respect than you do as of now. Or else..."

Spike walked over to a broken aluminum stand, used to hold mannequins in place, and placed a pony-shaped doll on top. After he held the two broken pieces in place, he took a shallow breath and blew on the area where the pole broke. As he slowly hissed out some air, he welded the two pieces together, fixing the display case. Shortly after, he scraped one of his claws against the reddened ring of the partially melted aluminum, scraping off the excess bulk so that the pole stood straight. The entire display looked good as new. All from just a breath of air. No flames, no smoke.

And then I remembered that the cute little lizard was a dragon.

"...I'll weld your lips to your toes."

That was... surprisingly convincing. I think I will take heed to that warning. Finally feeling my legs under me, I walked out the front door slowly, still remembering Spike's threat as I quietly closed the door behind me.

And I also remembered that a bush would be a very good place to release the urine that has yet to drizzle down my legs.

Later that afternoon, I arrived back at the castle, more than tired from the multiple errands I've ran with some of the locals. As I walked down the crystalline halls of Ponyville Castle, I couldn't help but to see a familiar face in the guard. I watched as Flash walked down the hall, seemingly with a thousand-yard stare as he casually made his way to the exit. After he passed by, I could only imagine the hell he might've went through with Shining Armor. With a simple shrug of my shoulders, I carried on.

As I turned left at the end of the hall, I managed to come into contact with a cream-colored, unicorn pony holding a clipboard in her magic. Next to her was a more-than-disgruntled Princess Twilight. Aside from the bag of ice she held on her head and the dark circles in her eyes, she looked to be in working order.

"Hey, princess!" I playfully called out.

"Nondis... hey..." She staggered out. Apparently, she seems to have just recently awaken from her slumber. "Inkwell, you're dismissed."

As I continued to approach her from down the hall, the unicorn trotted by me as she left me and the princess alone. As I got closer, it dawned on me just how bad Twilight's disposition was.

"Uuugh.... I'm never drinking again..."

I giggled a little, earning a deathly frown. "So, how's the hangover?"

"Horrible. I just can't wait till it blows over." She droned as she removed the bag of ice from her head and threw it to me. "Hold this for me."

"Huh, I would've expected you to go with the Hair-of-the-Dog treatment already."

"Bad idea." Twilight stated, telekinetically pulling my arm to her. Apparently, she wanted me to hold the ice pack against her head now.

"How come?" A Bloody Mary always seem to work for me. But then again, I have ways of making sure that my hangovers aren't as bad.

"Because you're only prolonging your problem. It's a great fix for temporary issues, but in turn it makes things a lot worse."

Something I didn't really know too much about because my hangovers aren't that bad. And for good reason. "Well what did you eat beforehand?"

"Um... Just a carrot stew and a nice fruit salad. Me and Flash decided to go out to eat before we showed up for the party."

That explains a lot. "You do realize that before you go on a drinking binge, you're supposed to eat heavy, right?"

"Really?" She moaned, feeling the relief of not having to mentally concentrate on anything except for her recovery as the bag of ice rested on her forehead.

"Yeah. Eat a lot, something that fills you up. Stuff like baked potatoes, garlic bread, cheesy broccoli, some steeeeee..." I had to catch myself before I had finished that last word. Twilight was already uncomfortable when it came to me eating meat, so the last thing I needed to say was that I ate steak before drinking heavy. "...eeeamed veggies?"

Nice recovery, dumbass.

"Oh. Well I'll keep that in mind for the next time."

"Really?" I asked, surprised that she would actually consider drinking again.

"No. Because this won't be happening again."

And there goes the possibility of yet another great story to tell. "Booo!"

"No. I'm serious! If there is anything I need, it's not another one of these headaches."

Personally, I'm glad she got the nausea out of her system. Rarity's taking care of the remnants of that situation. In speaking of which... "Have you eaten anything?"

"I've had a dandelion and honey sandwich. It did take off some of the edge."

Atta girl. "Drink any fluids?"

"Water."

Okay. That's two thing out of the way. "So, what are you doing out of your bed?"

"I have to make sure that everything in the town is ran properly. I have a meeting with the mayor later this evening and I-"

"Reschedule for tomorrow." I interrupted.

"What!?"

"You need a day of rest. You need to trot those purple little hooves on back to your bedroom."

"Geez, if I wouldn't know it, you seem as if you were my mother."

"Well mother knows best." Did I just say that? "So let's go. Hop to it! One-two, one two!"

As I chanted to her like a bass drum repeatedly banging in her eardrums, she finally gave in. "Okay! I'm going."

"Great. I'll inform the others that you are in no condition to perform any other duties for the rest of the day. Your health is priority over a few meet-n-greets."

As we started to make our way to her room, she walked close to me, making me feel a little flustered as I remember her drunken advances on me from the night before. It was something that I'm sure she didn't remember, but it still made things awkward for the both of us.

Me especially.

We finally reached the doors that lead to her bedroom. I opened the large door for her as she walked inside. While she found herself in the comfort of her private quarters, she paused and looked at me. "Can... you come in for a bit?"

Not wanting to leave a friend in need, I decided to oblige her in her request. I entered into the room and closed the door behind me. "Is there something wrong?"

"..." She shied away from me, looking anywhere except for the spot I stood in. "I..." She finally gained the courage to look me in the eyes. "Do you... remember anything I... may have said to you last night?"

A lot of things, but let's start off with the first one. "You told me to tell you that you were pretty."

Twilight blushed at the thought. "Oh... Well... I..."

If Fluttershy were giving out lessons on how to emulate her shyness in various situations, she was very much producing acceptable results. "Yeah, it was pretty bad."

"Oh... Well... am I?"

Honestly, I did not expect this to be a reoccurring thing. I would've expected this to be a drunken-girl thing and for it to be forgotten by the next day. "Well... of course."

"You mean it?"

"Yeah."

"Really mean it?"

"Yes."

"Like, you're actually telling me the honest truth-"

"YES! You're pretty."

Twilight looked away from me, toying with her hooves as she looked elsewhere. "...Thanks."

"Sure."

Twilight walked over to me, wrapping me in her hooves, giving me a light hug. "I know that some of the things I've said last night may have been out of character."

"I get it. Forget everything." I answered for her.

"...And I'm sorry that I tried to kiss you."

YOU REMEMBER THAT!? "Well... um... you see..."

"And for... well... sharing my lunch with you."

"We'll never speak of that again." I mentioned quietly.

"Noted."

As the awkward exchange carried on for much longer than either of the two of us were comfortable with, she pulled herself off of me and stood before me. "Well... I guess you can go. I'm gonna rest for a bit."

"Okay then. See you tomorrow, princess."

"Oh and one more thing..." She called out just as I was going to make my way to the door. "...Thank you so much, for being a great friend. I may call on you if I'm having any trouble resting."

"Sure thing."

As I made my way out the door, I walked down the hall to see a familiar unicorn holding a clipboard in her possession as she made her way to Twilight's room. I just kept walking as she passed by me. As she passed my me, I kindly pointed her to the opposite direction.

"Princess Twilight is under the weather. She asks that you reschedule everything planned for today for tomorrow."

"Sir, if that didn't come from the mouth of the princess herself, then I am not obligated to follow through on your ill-advised notion."

My response was a simple action sequence. I picked her up, faced her to the opposite direction she was heading, turned her head forward and gave her a slap on the ass, causing her to gallop down the hall and away from Twilight's room.

"Oh! And for any further questions, please consult her secretary!"

I stirred from my sleep as I looked to the sky outside of my window. The sky just turned from black to a dark blue. Dreading the fact that someone was knocking at my door this early in the morning, I turned over and threw the covers over my head, carrying on with my regularly scheduled sleep.

And then there's this fucking furry assdick who hasn't the slightest idea of common courtesy. Maybe if I ignore it as if it isn't there, they'll go away.

And down goes the door.

"♪Wake uuuuuup!♫"

I swear if this is one of those cheerful, Mary Poppins, Singing Chim-Chim-Cher-ee in the fucking morning wake-up calls, I'm going to make use of the lamp next to my bed. As I hear the clopping of hooves come close to me, I continue to feign my sleep.

"It's time to wake up, dear!"

I am not moving from this fucking bed. You will have to make me move.

"We have a busy day ahead of us, so let's get to it!"

Insert generic 'mommy-I-don't-wanna-x-today' line here.

"♫Nondiiiiiis!♪"

♫Shut uuuuuuup.♪

"Non... Non..." As she say's my name in the most annoying manner, she prods a hoof into my back. Damn girl is persistent. Now I gotta play dead.

If only that worked.

"Non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non..."

*poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke POKE POKE POKE P̰͔̽͗̆ͩ͞O̶̼̪̻͈̎͋͆ͫͧ̊Ķ̳̜͍͉͓̺̦̅͊ͯ͗Ë͍̦̺͑̌̓ͭͥ̕*

Urge to kill: rising.

"Non?"

"FUCK DO YOU WANT!?" I screamed to the top of my lungs, shouting at the white unicorn mare standing at my bedside.

"Good morning! And how are you feeling on this absolutely glorious day?"

Like I just got through sandpapering a gorilla's ass. "Fine..."

"That's wonderful! Now come along! We have much to do! I have many an errand to run today, so we will have to start early."

Rubbing off the crust that landmined my eyes shut, I wearily looked to Rarity with a forlorn exhaustion. "Does it have to be at fucking five in the morning?"

"Well if you want to avoid the breakfast rush, then I'd advise you to rise to see the day." This time, she added insult to injury by lighting her horn directly in my face, producing a white light that dared to put the sun itself out of it's job.

"ARGH! I GET IT!"

"Okay, so we will need to head out early if we are to make any sort of headway. Now come along darling, we need to get you ready."

"Okay." I agreed. "Just let me get ready and I will be on my way out there."

"Very well then."

As she stood there, I grabbed the covers, placed them over my body, rested my head on the pillow and continued from where I last left off.

"What are you doing?" Rarity asked me in a angered tone.

"Getting ready."

"Not in the bed."

"It's magic. Now go away."

Rarity sighed deeply as she lit her horn. "I see that there's no getting through to you. Well, I've tried my best to be nice..."

The next thing I felt was a small dose of ice-cold water douse my neck, causing me to jump back up violently. "WHAT THE FUCK!?"

"You can't get ready in bed. Besides, if you stay any longer in that bed, you'll catch a cold."

Only because you decided to bring half the artic with you in a glass. "Okay, I'm up."

"No you're not. You need to jump right in that shower and get to showering!"

Instantly, I felt my entire body fail to register any gravitational pull. As I look down, I can plainly see that my legs and my arms were very much in the air with the rest of my body. I looked to Rarity, who was carrying me into the bathroom. As we entered, she let me stand on my own as I stared back at her.

"Well..." She said, rushing me to move along.

"Well what?"

"Get to it! Scrub yourself clean so that you will be able to attack the day."

Me... strip... butt-ass naked... in front of a girl... If this wasn't sex then I'm not doing it... Wait a minute. "I can't do that if you're here in the bathroom with me."

"I'm here to make sure that you don't fall asleep in the tub."

Fuck. That's one of my oldest tricks in the book. She got me. "I can manage without the supervision."

"I can't even trust you to get out of your bed with my being in the room."

She has a valid point there. "Please, just let me shower in peace."

"I know you measurements already, so there's nothing for you to hide." She said as I continued to stare right back at her. The white unicorn scoffed as she turned around. "I won't look. Now hurry along."

It was obvious that I wasn't going to escape this one. At the very least, she was willing to give me some of my privacy. But there's no guarantee that I may just not fall asleep standing up.

Welp, here goes nothing.

So I take my shower, get dressed, walk out the castle and the sun is still hiding beyond the horizon. Usually I'd find myself in the midst of my warm, comfortable bed while my mind conjures up past visions and dreams of a world that I'm no longer in. Plus it seems like I'm walking with Little Miss Can-You-Feel-The-Sunshine.

I've always hated morning people. It's like my misery is what fuels their smiles.

Meanwhile, we start making our way down the street. Not a single venue on any street has been opened. No windows opened to receive the fresh morning air, no ponies walking down the street, no foals scrambling to get where they needed to go, barely a bird's chirping and not even a single cricket is awake from their nocturnal activity. It's, for the most part, me and Rarity headed down the street for breakfast.

"Come along, dearie. There is much of the day to seize!"

While Rarity seems to run off solar power, my power grid hasn't kicked the on-switch yet. I am more than willing to sell myself to whoever's willing to lend me a bed. From now on, I will appreciate the little extra five minutes that I get whenever I press snooze on my alarm clock.

The fashionista happily trotted down the streets and here I was slugging along like there were ball-chain weights on my ankles. I started to fall behind. "Hey... can you slow down?"

"Sorry, Nondis dear. We're almost there."

How many times have I heard that line before. 'Almost there' to them means 'one more mile' to me. That's something I couldn't deal with this early in the morning. Why couldn't we have to run errands in the afternoon?

Yes, I am complaining. I have every right to.

As we finally came up to our first destination, I found myself cheering for the fact that our first venue was actually open. Rarity and I stepped inside of Sugarcube Corner, seeing the pink party pony standing behind the counter. Even she seemed a bit tame in comparison to Rarity's sunshine-powered ass.

"Morning, Pinkie!" Rarity chimed to her friend while I slugged along.

"♫Good morniiiiing!♫" Great. They're both morning ponies. "Hey Nonnie! How ya doin'?"

"Coffee..." I wearily suggested.

"Coffee?" Rarity seemed offended that I asked for the drink. "Oh heavens no. You will not be drinking any of that."

"And why not?" I asked.

"Because coffee is a horrible way to wake up in the morning. Why, you would go prancing around with stained teeth, offensive breath and a false store of energy."

"Works fine for me."

"No. I believe that it is time to try something different." Like a espresso? "We're going to share our morning conversations over a cup of tea."

What? "Why tea?"

"Because not only is it a natural way of rejuvenating the body, it also does the vocal chords some good in case you wake up with a bit of a frog. You're not relying of the addition of caffeine to wake you up. And plus it's a natural way of starting your day. If we're going to start a day such as this, then we're going to start on a high note."

My notes are somewhere close to the Earth's core. I need my fix.

"Aww, cheer up Non-non." I really didn't like hearing the word Non, not after how Rarity woke me up. "I'll be sure to bake you something special so you can... um..." Pinkie turns to Rarity. "What is he doing here so early?"

"He and I will be running some errands. Going to a few stores and picking up some supplies."

"Oh, trying to beat the pre-noon rush so you can get the early bird sales. What happened to Spike."

Good question.

"Spike is with Twilight. It seems that she's fallen behind on some stuff yesterday because of her illness. So he will be taking care of some things on her behalf."

Pinkie walked from behind the counter, with a small tray of glasses and miniature saucers. "Oh. Well I'm happy you managed to get some help."

Rarity nudged me playfully. "And some good help he'll be!"

I didn't know what she was going on about but I was ready to eat. Sleep was now a distant memory at this point.

"So what can I get you two this morning?" Pinkie pulled out a pencil and a notepad out of her mane. Can you say 'hammerspace'? Good.

"I would like a tea, make that two teas, with milk and sugar."

As Pinkie scribbles down the order with her mouth, she turns back to me. "Okay. And what would you like, Nons?"

"I would like a... um... err..." I have an inability to order on spot. "Can..."

"Would a cheese danish be okay?" Pinkie filled in for me.

"Yes. I'll take three." Because I'm gonna need them.

Pinkie just about wraps up the order as she scribbles off the last bit of the order with a pink tendril of her mane. The things this mare can do. "Coming right up!"

As I finally take a much-awaited seat, Pinkie managed to fix the tea, fetch me some freshly-made danishes and had everything on the serving tray next to the table. I can see how she manages to pay for all those party supplies. She's fast, efficient and accurate. She's willing to talk with the customer and care for them. I guess high gratuity is a common occurrence for her.

"Here you go, guys." She walked off and stopped shy of another table, grabbing a chair and taking a seat at our table. "So, what happened two nights ago?"

I looked at Pinkie, completely unaware to whom she was addressing. "Me or Rarity."

"You, silly! I get one dance in and you disappear into thin air! What's up with that?"

Rarity intervened on my behalf. "He noticed that Twilight was feeling a little sick. Unfortunately, she was unable to do anything yesterday because of it."

"Oh. So that's why we didn't hear much of her when she left."

"Yes. Also, can you believe that Flash Sentry rejected her?"

"Are you kidding me?" Pinkie sounded appalled. "Twilight is one of the bestestest of mares around all of Equestria! She's not only a princess but she's been taught by Princess Celestia, sister in law to Princess Cadance, her brother is Captain of the Guard, and she's really down to earth. She's smart, she's adorkable, she's really sweet."

Those thoughts have been on my mind since her drunken stupor. I felt myself becoming angrier the longer I thought about how hard she took his rejection. But I remembered that it was his personal preference that led him to that conclusion. So I can't do anything but be angry for Twilight.

"It is unfortunate. Though I can't imagine how she managed to become so physically ill because of it."

As Rarity talked, I felt a tap on my left shoulder, I looked to my right to catch Pinkie Pie. Amazingly, she wasn't there. So I looked back down to see that one of my danishes were missing. Looking over to my left, I see the guilty, pink culprit feasting on my danish. As she stopped chewing, she laughed nervously and offered me the half that wasn't eaten yet.

"Want some?"

I shook my head, causing her to continue assaulting the pastry. I wasn't going to tell them that their friend had drank herself off the deep end. I was at least going to keep that a secret. Though there was one thing that bothered me. If she could remember the fact that she tried to kiss me, then could she remember everything else that happened that night?

Finally finishing her tea and letting me finish my food, Rarity and I pushed our chairs in and started to make our way towards the exit. Pinkie said her goodbyes as she started to set the chairs from on top of the tables. As we walked out, I had noticed something completely odd. As I watched the door close, I had seen that the sign on the door was set to 'closed'. I opened my mouth to say something, only for Pinkie to zip over and turn the sign to open.

Wow. That mare can do just about anything when it came to her job.

"Hurry along, dearest! We're almost at the boutique."

While Rarity managed to run alongside her younger sister, Sweetie Belle, I was trailing the two of them, carrying pretty much Mount Olympus. Bags upon bags upon bags of heavy materials weighed me down. If there was going to be anymore shopping, I was going to see my feet developing roots.

"Rarity, do you think he'll ever find his cutie mark?" The younger filly asked. She was supposed to be apart of some group called the Cutie Mark Crusaders, where they try out many activities in hopes of earning their cutie marks. Apparently, they wanted me to be a new member.

"Sweetie Belle, we've already discussed that he doesn't have a special talent." Wow, just put my confidence in Auschwitz. It's not like that it was anything important to me. Rarity soon reworded her statement out of fear that she might've said something to offend me. Too late now. "Um... What I was mean to say is that humans have special talents as well. But he hasn't discovered what his is quite yet." Thanks for the daily reminder.

"Oh. Well can we help him find his special talent?"

"I'm sorry. Not today. He's helping me with something this evening. Hopefully he won't mind if I can borrow him for just a few more hours."

I couldn't see her face behind this mountain of shit I was carrying, but I knew that she was looking at me to give her an answer. And as much as I really wanted to say no... "Sure. I'm up for whatever." ...It's like it's difficult to say no to this mare. I can completely understand where Spike is coming from.

"Okay." I heard Sweetie say with sadness in her voice.

"Cheer up." I added, hoping to make her feel a little better. "If I'm free one of these days, then of course I can go crusading with you and your friends."

I knew that there was a smile somewhere behind this wall of fashion materials. And I managed to find out just how appreciative she was of my answer. As I walked, she fell behind to meet me behind the tower of cloths, thimbles, sequins and feathers and levitated some of my bags out of the way so I could see where I was going.

This kid. ALL OF MY LOVE!

Of course that love didn't last very long as I ended up smashing my face into a wooden pole of a vendor's display venue, causing me to drop everything I was carrying. I don't know how Spike managed to do things like this. Guy's got some major peripheral skills.

As I finished picking up all the dropped items, Rarity finally stopped to check back on me. Luckily, Sweetie and I managed to pick up all of the items from the ground before she could see. The older unicorn smiled as she motioned to me and her younger sister to move along. She and I sighed collectively in relief.

"That was a close one." I mumbled as I started walking again.

"Yeah. Rarity would've killed you if you had gotten a single thing dirty."

Don't remind me. "You don't say?"

We finally managed to reach our destination. As Rarity opened the doors to the boutique, she looked at me and Sweetie Belle and pointed next to the door. "Just leave everything in that corner over there. I'll get to it when I get back. Sweetie Belle, I want you to head out to Sweet Apple Acres and meet up with Applebloom.

I almost dropped the bags I was carrying as I heard her instructions to her little sister. "Uhhh, don't you think she needs some-"

"Supervision? Unlike you, I can actually trust my little sister to take care of herself. She has proven it time and time again that I am not needed to watch over her. She's very capable of going across town and even on the train on her own."

A society where it's so safe that even foals can waltz around the place without too much adult supervision? Yep, I'm officially ashamed to call myself a human. What the hell, humanity? Step your shit up.

"What about you?" Sweetie Belle asked as she opened the door to make her way out.

"Nondis and I have but one more place to go. Now run along."

Sweetie Belle nodded to her older sister and looked to me. "I guess I'll see if you're available sometime later. You're gonna love being a Cutie Mark Crusader, even if it is for a day."

"Sure thing." I answered as she wrapped her tiny little hooves around my legs, giving me her best hug.

While she galloped off, Rarity walked beside me. "You know, you're really good with kids."

That's because children are more pure in mind than our adult counterparts. Even when I was in the human world, I was known to have a thing for kids... NOT THAT KIND OF THING! But I worked well with kids easier than I could with people my own age. I guess the paradigms of wanting to be the 'in-crowd' have yet to develop and they're more focused on being friends more than anything. Of course there are the few bad-asses that get in trouble, but I am comfortable when it comes to dealing with those half my own age.

In truth, I guess you could say that I was still holding on to my inner child.

"Alright." Rarity stepped forward, making her way down the street once more. "We have one final stop to go to. If you want to come with me, then I would greatly appreciate it."

I was more than prepared to take on anymore of her baggage that she wasn't willing to carry on her own. But there was one thing I was completely unprepared for. The one thing that I knew in my heart that I was never going to do nor attempt to do. But yet, I am here right now and completely baffled by the reason of my being here.

That's right. I'm here at the motherfucking spa.

"Two for the deluxe package, please."

There were two spa ponies that stared at me with childhood curiosity glamouring in their eyes. A third was behind the counter, still speaking with Rarity. "Okay. I would assume that it would be for you and your... companion?"

What was she implying?

"Yes! He's managed to pull off a few errands for me, so I'm rewarding him for his troubles."

"Well then. You already know where to go, ma'am."

The other two ponies who were the exact opposite color schemes of each other still prodded and poked me with their hooves. Rarity cleared her throat, grabbing their attention. "You two can poke and prod him as much as you like when we get into the massage parlor."

The two ponies squeed with bright smiles as they dragged me from both sides into the hallway. One pony pulled my hand from in front while the other pushed me from behind.

These two were a little too eager to get their hooves on me.

An hour and a half had passed since our admittance into the spa and only minutes have passed as we sit in a therapeutic mud bath. It seemed that Rarity requested that we'd share a mud bath together for the sake of getting to know a little more about me. Though why she chose the mud bath, I will never know.

"Doesn't this feel absolutely divine?"

Hell, I wasn't complaining. Far from it. "It does. It's a rather nice change of pace from the hustle and bustle of our earlier pursuits."

Rarity continued to rest on her side of the bath while I still felt a bit uncomfortable due to the fact that I could feel so much mud in places where the sun didn't have a chance to shine on.

"You know... I actually told a little fib on my part."

I looked back to Rarity, who was still looking to the ceiling. "What fib?"

"About Spike being required to help Twilight."

"Actually, I can kinda see her needing the little guy's help." I noted as I thought more on what all Twilight may have had to do that piled over from yesterday.

"Nondis, dear, I think you fail to realize who you're talking about. This is Twilight Sparkle, former student to Princess Celestia. She lives her life by the schedule. If there's anything she would need Spike for, it's to probably hold a checklist."

Well then. I guess that means that Princess Twilight is very capable without Spike. But that still leaves the question. "So why didn't you invite Spike along with me?"

She sighed as she turned to me. "Have you gotten to know Spike?"

I knew that he had some sort of admiration towards her. "He likes you, doesn't he?"

"Yes, but I fear that he does too much."

This was a subject that intrigued me. "Go on."

"Spike is sweet. He's one of the best assistants a pony could ask for. It's just that since Twilight's been living in the castle, he's been using the other assistants to take his place."

"So he could spend some time with you."

"Precisely. I know that I've had crushes on other colts and stallions and often times, he's been there. He understands that he and I are friends and will be nothing more than that... but..."

She removed the cucumbers from over her eyes and looked back to me. I just looked at her. "But?"

"But lately, he's been a bit possessive over me. I mean I really do appreciate it, but it's gotten to the point where I can't even find a date."

So that explains his aggression towards me. I was taking time away from him and he didn't like it because he felt that the time she spent making clothes for me could've been free time for the two of them.

"Have you tried talking to him about it?"

"I... I just don't want to hurt him. He's still a child after all."

I guess it's time for me to pull out the podium and start preaching again. "I think you should talk to him about it. I know that it will hurt him if you do, but think of how much more damage would be caused if you don't confront him sooner than later."

"I really do appreciate what he does for me."

"Do you like him?"

"Well... no and yes."

And I'm lost here. "Care to explain?"

"I mean... If Spike was a bit older, then I would be genuinely interested in him. He'd be a great show of interest. But considering that he wouldn't even be able to... satisfy me in his current state and wouldn't be able to until I was an old mare, then I know where my feelings for him end. Friendship is the only way I can consider myself close to him, because I don't want him to fall in love with somepony that he could no longer have when he became of age."

"At what rate do dragons age?"

"To put it in context, he's been like that since Twilight hatched him almost ten years ago. And he wouldn't reach maturity until somewhere around fifty years from now."

A love realized but unable to bloom because of the sands of time prevents them from doing so. Ouch. "So Spike is-"

"Still a child and will be until I have grown old and my bones are naught but dust in a frail shell."

That was a painful truth. But it was one that still needed to be out in the open before it was too late. "So... you still won't tell him?"

Rarity looked back to the pool of mud below. "I'm not sure. I just want to be strong enough to tell him."

"Why do you want to be strong enough to tell him?"

"Because I might just cry before I could finish. I can't fall in love with him, no matter how much I do love him. I just want to be strong enough to say to him that we can never be and tell him why. I know he will experience a deep pain that cuts beyond anything he's ever experienced. Even though dragons have thick scales, I have come to realize that the scales over their heart are really the strongest, yet the most brittle."

Things between Spike and Rarity were already complex as it was outside of context. Now I had realized just how hard it was. She needed someone to love in place of what she couldn't show her affection for. Spike would age past a thousand years, Rarity is questionable to make it past eighty.

I really didn't wanna stay on this subject for long. This was really killing the vibes. "So, what are you doing tomorrow?"

"I'm going to be sewing up some of those supplies tomorrow for an important client in Canterlot. I'm afraid that my schedule is locked up tomorrow."

"Oh... Well, let me know when you need some help."

Rarity faintly smiled at me before replacing the cucumbers over her eyes. "I guess I might summon you for your measurements."

"Again?"

"I do need to see if your measurements have changed. Each time you show up, I find myself tweaking something here and there."

I couldn't help but to smile at her. To know that she cared for me was something that I deeply appreciated. "Rarity... can you take off those things for a sec?"

She rose back out of the mud, looking to me as she telekinetically moved the cucumbers out of the way. "Yes."

"I really wanna say... thank you. Thank you so much for everything that you do. You don't have to do it, but you do it anyways."

I think I might have switched the faucet on because tears had started to form in Rarity's eyes. She jumped out of the pool of mud, came over to me and clenched me tightly as she whispered in my ear. "Your gratitude is more than enough for payment."

Is it bad that I find myself wanting to stay here, just because of the friendships I've made thus far?

They say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. They say that women put the devil himself under their feet so that they can stand eye to eye with a man before she tears him down. They say that the world will tilt on it's ass if all the women of the world decided to wage a war on men.

I have one thing to say: That's not entirely true. Some women are earnest in their dealings, they can be patient and willing to cooperate with you just as long as you are willing to cooperate with them. True, there are those who can become so wrathful that they could tear down the world around them and those who's logic can make as much sense as the sky being green and the grass being blue. But as long as there are others who are willing to negotiate, then this absurd theory can remain what it is: a theory.

I like it here. I really do. I almost feel as if I can actually belong here. But I know that I have a family waiting for me back at home. I have a friend that I really need to apologize to. I have a world of difference to make when I get back.

But that doesn't mean that I wanna leave now. I may just want to stay here a little longer.

There are times where I look at my current circumstances and ask myself: Am I willing to leave here? Am I really going to leave this perfect little utopia for the place that shuns my very existence? What can I say to convince myself that I'll be making a mistake if I go back? What's to prevent me from staying?

If I may confide in fate, I hope that I may be able to stay here. But realistically, I need to go back.

I didn't belong here.

A month later, I find that my errand time was consumed by a grand total of nine mares. I have a group of magical, talking equines who consider me as a friend and a set of three of their younger siblings, of whom I've grown fond of seeing from time to time.

...IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!

I've grown close to some of them, even as far as sharing some very personal feelings with them. I know that it's been four months since my arrival and I've managed to get some rather close time with three of them, of which I can connect to on a more personal level. Rarity and I spent some time together at the spa and discussed some of her issues with her seeking of romance. Pinkie Pie drags me along whenever she has a party or whenever she wants to do something fun. And Twilight, who pretty much provides me with a roof over my head, food to fill me up and an ear to listen to me complain about how I missed my wifi and daily browsing of youtube for abridged series'.

Yet in my time here, I've never really gotten a chance to interact with Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Applejack on a more personal level. My reason for not being around Fluttershy is because of Discord being an annoying fuck who didn't mind rearranging my body parts like a child with a Mr. Potatohead toy. Rainbow Dash is too fast for me to keep up with and she's always in the air, so I couldn't stay around with her long enough to have a conversation. And as far as I know about Applejack, she likes apples... That's it.

Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are entirely too young for me to even get into that kind of deep emotional bonding with. And with four more months to go before I would make my leave, I don't think I would even find the time to get to know more about them...

Well... that is until today.

A rapid knocking sound on my door disturbs me from my usual sleep-in time. The recently installed grandfather clock on the other side of the room ticked as the time read 9:23 in the morning. As I walked up to the door and turned the handle, a powerful force shoved the door directly into my face, causing me to fall on the seat of my boxers.

"Nondis! Hey we really need you to-" And in an instant, Rainbow Dash saw that I was busy rubbing my nose, where the door just so happened to greet me with a good-morning kiss. "Heh heh... Sorry."

Massaging the afflicted area, I waived her off. "I'm fine. Go on ahead."

Rainbow Dash, still suspended in the air as she usually does, rushed over to get me off of the ground. "Okay, like I was saying, me and Applejack really need your help with something."

Right about now, I'm puzzled at the mere thought of Applejack and Rainbow Dash, the two most athletic ponies I know, asking my scrawny ass for some help with anything at all. Well, don't judge a book... "Okay. And what would that something be?"

Instantly I can feel Rainbow Dash tugging at my arm, trying to get me out of the room. "Me and Applejack need a judge to keep score of a little competition we're doing today. We're trying to decide on which one of us is the better athlete. Applejack recommended Big MacIntosh, but I knew that he would be so biased to her. So I voted for Scootaloo."

Really, a kid who admires everything about you and what you do to judge a competition held between you and someone else and you're complaining about the judging being fair? Kettle, meet Pot. Both of you are black and have a nice coat of teflon to prevent anything from sticking, such as ass-kissing judges. "Really, you chose her?"

"Well don't blame me, she wanted to rig the competition in her favor! So I'd thought that I'd fight fire with fire."

To kill a fire, you could just start an even larger fire next to it. Creates more smoke, cuts the oxygen and snuffs the flames right on out. But hey, there is always that risk that the two flames could just conjoin and create an even larger blaze. Nope, nothing wrong with that idea. "Uhhh..."

"So, with that being said, we decided on Twilight, but figured that she was busy with princess stuff. Then there was Spike, but he was too busy helping out Rarity with some shopping today. So that lead us to the next pony in line."

She said pony, so that immediately disqualifies me. Going back to bed now.

"So will you do it?"

I rolled my eyes. "I thought you said 'the next pony', not the next person."

"Whatever. You helping us or not?"

Well, to be perfectly honest, I was actually free today. And with Twilight being busy with some important paperwork, Fluttershy tending to her pets and Rarity out shopping for materials, I guess I can commit myself to a little entertainment. Besides, there's nothing to do here except eat, sleep and cut a nasty fart, only to blame it on a nearby guard. So with that being the case... "Sure. I guess-"

"GREAT! Now hurry up!"

Instantly, Rainbow just leapt behind me and started to push me like I was a dolly down the hall, ignoring any protests I may have had at the moment. "But Rainbow-"

"No time! We gotta go, now!"

As the cyan pegasus carted me onward, I started to receive some odd looks from some of the guards and servants in the castle. I am well-aware of why. "Rainbow Dash-"

"We don't have all day! We really need to get to Sweet Apple Acres right now!"

As I continued to fight against her, making things a little more difficult, Rainbow and I managed to catch the nearest royal patrol, complete with princess in tow.

"Will you listen to me?" I groaned while I did my best to get her attention.

"Only when we get to Sweet Apple Acres! But right now, I need you to-"

"RAINBOW DASH!" Twilight shouted as she noticed what was going on, catching the hard-headed mare off-guard.

Shaken up a bit, Rainbow turned her attention to Twilight. "Hey Twilight, I hope you don't mind me taking him someplace."

I could clearly see the princess turning a bright shade of red as she looked away from me. "WELL CAN YOU AT LEAST WAIT UNTIL HE PUTS ON SOME CLOTHES!?"

"We don't wear clothes!" Rainbow Dash argued, hoping that it would get me out the door sooner. "He wouldn't need them anyways."

Twilight had started to explode back at her. "Well maybe he would like to wear something decent rather than what he has on now."

Oh... one thing about Equestrian society before I continue on. Clothing in Equestria is seen as either very classy or very promiscuous. If a mare was to wear a dress, then she could either be perceived as a member of a sophisticated circle or one who is looking for a mate. The thing about this society is since the population, in general, is often in the nude, no one would bat an eye at you. There's practically nothing that a colt hasn't seen from any other mare while walking down the street, but add a pair of socks or a skirt and the imagination of those little guys really starts going.

Now let's say that you were a mare.

If you put on something as simple as socks, it's considered as suggestive wear. It hides the hooves and it does add to the visual appeal, if wearing the correct colors. If a mare was to wear sweats, it tended to place an emphasis on the shapely curves of their flanks, often giving the perception that they were sporting more junk than their trunk could store. Now if you were to wear just underwear... well, you were pretty much asking for it. If you wore a ribbon at the base of your tail... baby lock the doors and turn the lights down low.

Now... Enter me, a male human in Equestrian society, wearing nothing but a white undershirt and snug (yet very comfortable) boxer-briefs...

Yeah, just gonna let that sink in for a bit...

...You done? Great.

So the thing is that all of these ponies are seeing me wear something, in their culture, that would be considered as intimate apparel. To them, this was a page out of Victoria's Secret. Add a ribbon to my inner thigh and I'm practically saying 'sex me right now'.

Well kids, I hope you learned something new. So now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Back into the present, Rainbow Dash looked back to me and realized that I was very much underclothed. And while other mares in the hall smirked and giggled at my rather questionable appearance, The cyan pegasus jumped off of me without a moment's notice and snickered as she turned away from me. "Sorry, Twilight. I guess I was in a bit of a rush."

"You think!?" The purple princess shouted as she clenched her eyes shut, turned to me and teleported the both of us back into my room.

For the most part, I am still uncomfortable finding myself removed from one place to another via magical transportation. And the initial flashes were a bit warmer than what I was used to.

When we managed to get back into the room, Twilight levitated the a set of clothes from within my dresser drawers and threw them at my face, urging me to hurry up and get changed. Thought it was rather obvious that her curiosity was very much overwhelming her sense of modesty as she took quick glances at me before turning away in a rosy blush.

"Hey Twilight." I called out to her.

"There's no need to say anything. Just hurry up."

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly as I started to take off the old shirt and make my way to the shower. After about fifteen minutes, I walked out the bathroom to see Twilight petrified in place. Still looking away from the direction I stood in. As I started to grab some underwear from my night drawer, I caught a quick glimpse of her wings unfurling on their own as well as curious eyes resisting the temptation to glance my way.

Much to my relief due to the fact that I was very much nude.

As I slipped my fresh pair of boxer-briefs on, I could easily tell that something was causing Twilight some level of discomfort. I suppose she was just as nervous as I was when I had to walk around the town naked due to a wardrobe malfunction.

"Hey... Twi. Are you okay?"

"Are you finished!?" She asked me anxiously.

"No, not yet."

"THEN HURRY IT UP!" She shouted as she stomped her hoof to the ground.

As I reached over to the bed to grab some of my clothes, I could see something else that caught my eye. Something that seemed to glimmer a faint light. I looked to where Twilight stood and saw that it wasn't just her wings that started to raise out of their own accord, but her tail had started to lift as well.

Normally, as a human, I would find the thought of me staring at such an area around her tail to be repulsive and immoral. But in my case, I practically grew immune to any odd fetish since my introduction to the internet. So to see something like this, especially after so long of a porn drought, I could safely conclude that this was a bit of an owed treat.

Though I do question my existence now that I am practically waiting for her to lift her tail all the way.

Any glimpse will do.

No... I can't be thinking about these things! Twilight is my friend and I don't see her that way. Plus it's a violation of her privacy. I couldn't hope to live with myself if I looked.

But I didn't want to pass up on an opportunity like this. I mean-

"Uuuugh!" Twilight groaned restlessly, shuddering as she did.

And at the same time, her tail flicked to the side.

In the mere fraction of a second, I managed to see something that I wasn't supposed to see. My glimpse had now evolved into a full-on stare. As her tail bounced into the air, I was granted a full view of Twilight... her very essence. The very gift she saved for the one she would give herself to. As her tail fell back down and swished back to the other side, I managed to get a partial glimpse of her this time. Only it hid enough to tease me, yet revealed enough to satisfy me for a short while. But that wasn't the thing that made me fall into such a stare. I... was in shock.

"How close are you to being done?" Twilight asked me, snapping me out of my trance.

"I... Um... well... You see..." I bumbled and fumbled my words, failing to align them into a coherent thought. As I struggled to find anything to say, I heard a quick gasp, the clopping of hooves as she turned towards me. Her eyes widened exponentially as she backed away, cheeks burning red with embarrassment.

I was caught.

"What did you see!?" Twilight asked, jumping back as she magically grasped her tail and pulled it in between her legs. Worry was written across her face as she galloped towards me.

"I... I didn't-"

"What... did you see?" She asked me again, this time making sure that I was well within whispering distance.

"I didn't see anything!?" I lied. More like I saw the very gates that sealed a sinful pleasure between them. Two lavender doors that offered a small impression of pink. And then some.

"You're lying! What did you see?"

I felt myself being backed into a corner as she called out my obvious lie. Sweat started to pour from my forehead as she grew ever closer to me. But in miraculous timing, a knock sounded at the door. Obviously, it was a very disgruntled Rainbow Dash.

"ARE YOU DONE IN THERE!?"

I didn't care if I was underdressed a second time going out, I was going to leave this room, do what I had to do and forget everything that I just saw. That way when I get back, I should be somewhat safe. "COMING!"

As I hobbled into each leg of my jeans, I hopped over to the door. Finally getting everything situated, I slipped on my tennis shoes, bypassing the time it would take me to put on some socks. The sooner I left the room, the better.

I nearly broke the door wide open as I broke into a run for the front entrance of the castle. I didn't even care to look behind me... or rather I didn't want to.

I violated Twilight's privacy and was subjugate to whatever punishment she had planned for me when I got back. But for now, I needed to at least enjoy my freedom before I get sent off to the dungeon.

By the time I managed to make it to Sweet Apple Acres, I was completely winded from my run. Normally I would walk from one place to another, but today was an exception. I was not only trying to run away from Twilight, but Rainbow Dash instantly turned my escape attempt into a race.

A race that I lost in grand fashion.

About three minutes after Rainbow took to the sky, leaving me in the dust, I met up with her at the front gates of Sweet Apple Acres. While I stumbled to the nearest post, trying to catch my breath, I heard the raspy laugh of the cyan-blueish pegasus.

"Took you long enough, slowpoke!" She taunted as she flew from a cloud above me. Meanwhile I was too invested by the slight sting of sweat getting in my eyes. If I had known that I was going to get a workout today, I would've worn something a little less heavy.

"In... *huff* ...my defense... I can't... *wheeze* run as fast as equines... *gasp* nor can I fucking fly!" Valid points, no less.

"Um, sugarcube..." I heard a voice call out to me with a Tennessee-Southern drawl. "Ah don't mean ta be picky, but could y'all reword that?"

"What?" I didn't understand what she was going on about. I was using a decent sentence structure. It wasn't like I was talking in hip-hop lingo or lawyer jargon.

"Ah think ya meant ta say that sentence... minus a word."

Oh, for the love of... "Fuck?"

Applejack cringed at my use of the word. Apparently she had a thing against profanity. Didn't know that. "Yesh, that reeked somethin' fierce. Ah'll have ya know that this here is a family-friendly establishment n' that those kinds of words don't fit here."

"So I can't curse." As long as she says that I can't do it here. I can only try.

"Well, that n' not usin' that kind of language around me. It just ain't healthy for basic conversation."

Yes mommy. I won't say the bad words again. I swear. I wanna be a gwood wittle bwoy! "Okay... I can try."

"Well, that's a start. Now come on this way."

In all honesty, I was very much surprised over what Applejack just did. She was the least one I would've expected to censor dialog, considering how conservative she is. I guess she's more of a Straight-laced Sally than a Potty-mouth Peggy. Go figure. If anything, I was expecting her to be the one to curse up a storm, considering that she does a lot of manual labor and what-not. But I was more surprised from this unexpected result.

As we walked past the southern fields, I saw Big Mac, Applejack's older brother and Applebloom, her younger sister, laughing as they knocked the apples from the trees around them. They called it 'applebucking', I called it 'Sir Issac Newton's Interactive Discovery of the concept of Gravity'. Eureka.

As we moseyed along, Applejack waived to an elderly green pony who sat in a rocking chair, knitting some sort of bonnet. The elder pony, Applejack's grandmother by the name of Granny Smith, waived back to us as we made our way to the swimming hole out back.

When I first got here, I assumed that Applejack was the poorest of the six mares. As time grew on, I had realized that her homely appearance was more deceiving than anything. Everything she did was rich in character and wealthy in morals. But there was also the fact that she and her family owned everything west and north of the town, with the exception of the mountains. From the gate to the barn, it's about a one-minute walk. From the barn to the house, it's another one-minute walk. From the house to the back swimming hole is about an eight-minute walk. And every minute we spent walking from that gate, we stood yet another minute on Apple-family grounds. Even the swimming hole was registered as their property.

Well then again, this was the very establishment that founded Ponyville as a whole. Truth is, Ponyville is the expansion of Sweet Apple Acres.

So yeah, Applejack's family may not look it, but they are filthy... stinking... rich.

"Here we are." Applejack sounded off as we finally managed to settle down.

As I finally staggered over the final hill, I was granted with a view of a beautiful river with waterfalls cascading down the mountainside. The vast area was covered in a myriad of colorful wildflowers. Nothing but open plains. The air smelled so crisp and clean, free from the slightest touch of industrialization. And to the far distance, I could see another city hiding on the very mountainside. I couldn't believe that this was what they owned.

Man, the US Government would have a field day from trying to drill oil from this bitch. And the Wildlife Conservation Society would be on a ball to defend this place. This piece of land is a political battlefield.

As I looked below, I could see an assortment of games set up for what the two had planned for each other. Obviously, swimming was going to be a thing, there was also a volleyball match, an obstacle course, a game of horseshoes, tug of war, potato-sack racing, and a set of rope...

I have the distinct feeling that I'm not going to like what they're going to use that rope for. "Hey, Appplejack, what's with the rope?"

"That's for the three legged race. We gotta run from there to the top of this hill with our hind legs tied together." Rainbow answered.

"I also noticed that there was an extra set of rope."

"That there rope, is fer Rainbow Dash. To make sure that she doesn't use her wings." Applejack finished as she pointed to the rainbow-maned pegasus.

"I could beat you without my wings anyways! It's not like I need to use them to show that I'm obviously better than you."

And just like that, the competition begins.

About three hours later, the score remained even after all of the events that were planned out. As of now, they were on the last event of the competition. They were going to go on an all-out mini-triathlon. From the start of the race, they had to hop in sacks all the way from the top of the hill to the river, swim across to the other side and back and run back up the hill on hoof.

I think I might have to concede that one if I had to run it.

"Winner of this one will be called the 'Most Athletic Pony in all of Ponyville'." Rainbow Dash stated as she performed some stretches to get herself ready for the long trek ahead.

"So what would happen to the loser?" I asked. I was genuinely interested in the wager that they had going on. I honestly knew that there was much more than just a title with the win. There had to be some sort of consequence if one of them decided to lose.

"The loser has to wear a pretty, lacy gown with lots of fancy ribbons in their hair. An they'll wear it for the rest of the day. No exceptions."

Okay... It has come to my attention that these two are very much in dislike of anything frilly. Might as well have a ball with it.

"Right. We're ready now, so go on ahead and get this thing rolling." Rainbow said as she jumped into her brown sack while Applejack was still getting into hers.

"No. We need to wait on Applejack. It wouldn't be fair if you had gotten a head start." I said, pointing over to Applejack, was just now getting settled.

"Nah, I'm okay now. Thanks fer waitin'. But y'all can call this one out."

While Applejack managed to give me a simple smile, Rainbow Dash decided to give me a deadly glare for calling things fair. It was obvious that she really wanted to win this and was willing to get down and dirty to do it. But I wasn't going to allow that. So I needed to lay down some ground rules.

"Okay you two. I want a good, clean race. No bumping, no charging, no 'look-over-there', no tackles, no distractions and no cheating. If you want to win, you will win it fair and square. Got it?"

"I like the way that sounds." Applejack said as she readied herself to jump at the gun.

"Whatever, let's just get started already." Rainbow answered as she followed Applejack's example. The two stood side by side, with all hooves behind my right foot, an impromptu starting-line.

"Racers, on your mark!"

Applejack sank her posture even lower, looking as if she as was about to explode into the air.

"Get set!"

Rainbow Dash licked her lips as she eyed the river below. If anything, this was definitely going to be a close competition, considering that they've been tied up to this point. The wind brushed past the trees behind us, causing a few leaves to fall to the ground below. A long silence ensued as the breeze carried on. Finally, everything was at peace in comparison to the chaos of the past three hours.

And then, the wind stopped.

"GO!"

The two hopped and wobbled as they tried their best to move in the brown sacks down the hill. At first it seemed like Applejack had a decent lead, but suddenly Rainbow came lunging in from behind. And just when they started to get to the steeper portions of the hill, they found themselves stumbling and rolling rather than hopping.

I will admit that this first leg is funny as shit though.

"Yoohooo!"

I took my eyes off the race for a quick second to see who it was that called out to us. As I looked behind me, I could see Rarity walking up to me while Spike was trailing behind her with a large suitcase of materials. Apparently, she must be here for the dress.

"Hey Rarity." I called out to her, taking my attention back to the race, trying to make sure that there was no sign of foul-play.

"So what did we miss?" She casually asked walking beside me to observe.

"A lot, actually. These two have been going at it for three hours."

"Sounds about right." Spike muttered as he placed the heavy suitcase on the ground to sit on.

While the three of us watched the two finally come to a rolling halt at the edge of the river, I couldn't help but to suppress a laugh as we watched the two dizzily maneuver themselves to the water. Thankfully, neither one of them were disoriented to the point where they could no longer continue. Rainbow Dash was the first to hit the water however. If there is one thing I will credit her with is that she was very resilient. Perhaps she had an advantage with her being in the air so often.

But that didn't discourage Applejack in the slightest. Instead, it seemed to have strengthened her resolve. As soon as she hit the water, Applejack sliced through the water, catching up with Rainbow Dash, who was already making her way back. I suppose I gave too much credit to Rainbow Dash. Despite her early recovery and ability to hit the water first, it seemed that Applejack was the better swimmer. By the time Rainbow got to about half-way, Applejack had reached the other side and was already an eighth on the way back.

"Wow. These two are amazing." I stated as the two closed in to our side of the river.

"Those two have always been in a bit of a rivalry." Rarity stated. "If either of them becomes less than their stellar selves, then they wouldn't even considering a challenge that day."

"Not to mention that neither one of them likes to lose." Spike added as he kept a close eye on the two athletes.

In speaking of losing. "Say, on the off chance, that neither of them could win this event. What would happen then?"

Rarity giggled a bit as she held a hoof to her mouth. "Well, you'll have to see for yourself."

By that, I can safely assume that the both of them will be wearing dresses throughout the remainder of the day. And seeing their reactions when they have to do so will be a treat.

Oh I can't wait till the end of this race.

Luckily, I didn't have to wait for very long. As the two finally became neck and neck with one another, they jumped out of the river and started making their way back up the hill. I looked over to find a stick or something so that I could create some sort of finish line. But before I could do that, I managed to see two sticks on either side of me and Rarity placing a ribbon on the finish line.

No complaints there. As the two tried their best to resist the steepening grade of the hill, they trekked onward, striving to be the winner of this three hour competition. Spike stood on the side of the one pole while I stood on the other. Rarity stood far in front of the line, to avoid being tagged by any incoming competitors.

By now, both Applejack and Rainbow Dash were completely out of breath. Now that the two were close to finishing the race, it seemed that they gave everything they had to get here. Huffing and puffing, they strove to break the ribbon at the finish line. It seemed for a second that Applejack would take it by a nose, but then Rainbow propelled herself forward, notching past the burnt-orange mare. This carried on until both of them finally managed to break the ribbon together.

The result, in my opinion, was a tie. Which meant that both of them would have to wear dresses.

Rarity clopped her hooves to applaud the two athletes for a job well-done. As the two fell into a panting mess, Rainbow Dash was the first to speak.

"Ha! *gasp* I... win!"

"Maybe... you're still... a bit dizzy! *huff* I... won the race!"

"Actually, from my end," I interrupted. "It seemed that the two of you are actually tied."

"Tied?" The both of them questioned breathlessly.

Spike confirmed my sentiments. "Yeah! You two were awesome. But it is unfortunate that this race was the tie breaker. So nopony wins."

"Hey, Rarity, do you have enough material to do two dresses?" I asked smugly, hoping to see these two in frilly, lacy outfits. Unfortunately, my question was met with a response of laughter. Rarity chortled as she tried her best to hold her composure. "What? Is something wrong?"

"Nondis... dear..." She could barely hold herself together as she finally broke out in laughter. Spike soon followed suit as the Rainbow Dash and Applejack soon joined in.

Somehow I really didn't like where this was going.

"Hey, Nondis..." Spike said as he snickered. "So what color should we make your accents?"

AW HELL NO! "Wait... are you saying that-"

"In the event of a tie..." Rarity started as she pointed to Spike, who finished up as she went back into her laughing fit.

"The judge will be held to carry out with the losing consequence, no matter the request."

So in all reality, these two set me up. They had this long race and gave each other some matches so that they could coordinate a tie so that I would be the one who ended up with the losing bet. "RAINBOW DASH! APPLEJACK!"

Applejack recovered from her loss of breath incurred by her laughter and the race. "Hoooo boy, Ah love it when a plan comes together!"

Rainbow Dash was still busy laughing. "I love winning at life!"

Rarity gave me a sympathetic pat on the back "I'll love making a dress for you, Nondis dear! You're going to look absolutely fabulous."

Spike could hardly contain his excitement. "I'm gonna love to see how Nondis will look in his new dress."

Fury grows within me as I found myself the victim of an intricate, well-planned, well-executed prank. "I hate all of you."

Frustrated, I stand stark naked in the barn behind a changing curtain, unfortunately awaiting my new outfit. I was nowhere close to being excited for what I had to wear next. For all I care, those rules could've just been made up on the spot just to that I was the one who had to wear a dress. This is just downright unfair.

"It will only be a few, Nondis darling. Just keep your chin up." Rarity said as the whirring of a sewing machine hummed throughout the barn.

Why, Rarity? Why do this? Why would you betray me after all I did for you?

As I looked down to my lap, saying hello to my little partner-in-crime, I took a deep breath and called out to the mare across the screen. "Hey... I can understand the fact that I was going to be wearing a dress... but why did I have to take my underwear off?"

"Because I've made you a cute little dress to wear. And if you were going to be wearing this dress, then you might as well have the undergarments to match. I absolutely refuse to have you mismatch this outfit."

Yay, so I'm going full-trap today. Things can't get any worse. If I'm going to do this kind of thing, then at least let me shave my legs first. I don't want any leg hair to ruin this damn outfit, plus it'll be super-awkward.

What? This isn't the first time I had to wear a dress. And before you ask, it was for a fraternity. That story will come later.

"Et voilà! Your gown is ready."

"Hey, do you mind if I hold off on that for about fifteen minutes? I wanna make sure that I look somewhat presentable to wear this damn thing."

"If you're thinking about running away, then I can only tell you that it won't end well."

Well, there goes Plan B. "Actually..." Am I really going to do this? "I need some wax and a few strips of whatever you've got left." I'm really doing this. Why am I doing this? What is life?

In an instant, I catch a small jar of yellow wax and shortly after, a small basket of cloths remaining from her dress making. I gulped as I thought about how painful this was going to be.

"Take your time." Rarity muttered from behind the curtain.

I was going to need most of that time to mentally prepare myself to do this. After the first five minutes, I was finally able to open the jar of honey wax and spread it across a long strip of cloth that was as long as my entire foreleg, I laid it down on my leg and smoothed out the strip in hopes reaching every acre of hair on my leg.

Sweet manhood, I barely knew ye.

After a few seconds, I took a deep breath and pulled at the unwaxed end of the strip. If I believed in a higher power, I would be praying right about now. After a while of procrastination, I finally decided to cheer myself onward.

You can pull! You feel great! You! Can! Do! This!

Okay. I just needed to calm down... and strip this son of a bitch off of my leg. No pressure. Sure, it will hurt like a thousand fire ants ripping the skin off of my leg, followed by an intense burn that would resemble hot kitchen grease, but no pressure at all. I just needed to pull on three.

One...

Two...

"FUCK!"

"Excuse me!? Did Ah just hear some unfriendly words in there!?" While my right leg felt like a bad case of sunburn, I could feel Applejack's scorn as well. "Meaning that yer the loser in this bet doesn't mean that y'all have to be such a poor sport about it."

"Sorry!" I whined as I loathed the next few strips that I needed to pull.

If that felt like hell on my foreleg, I can only assume that these inner-thigh hairs are gonna be a bitch to pull. Might as well get it all over with. The sooner, the better.

After about fifteen minutes of crying and waxing, the waxing taking about as much as two minutes all together, I finally threw on my penalty dress and the panties that went along with it.

At least the panties were better than the g-string that my fraternity had me wear during hell-week.

Finally stepping out from behind the curtain, I walked out on still-burning legs and stood before Rarity. As she gasped at my appearance, I nervously stood in place. "How... do I look?"

"Darling... I... You..." She seemed to be at a loss of words for the time being, only summoning up a body mirror and placing it directly in front of me.

I looked at myself and wondered why I looked like this. I couldn't explain it. I looked... I looked... just... so...

Faaabuloooouuus

No, but in all honesty, I look like a very convincing trap from the neck down. All I needed to do was fix my hair, throw a bow on it and hold a piece of toast with my lips and start saying the words 'onee-chan'. So in other words, I look kawaii as all fuck.

"Darling, you look absolutely criminal in that outfit."

Suddenly I felt a bit insecure as she said the word criminal. "So, I don't look okay at all?" I asked in a low tone, starting to feel a bit stupid.

Rarity shook her head and gave me a hug. "No, that's not what I'm saying! I'm just saying that if you were to to be held on trial for wearing something that wasn't designated to your gender... and for you to pull it off so well, then you'd be guilty as charged."

"So I look okay?" I asked, not really sure why I was genuinely worried about my appearance.

"In short, I've lost my confidence, as a mare, standing next to you."

I will say, Rarity sure knows how to sell a dress, even if it's on a guy. I can see why her business does so well.

"Thanks."

"No... thank you for being such a wonderful client."

I found myself laughing lightly at her response, my reason being is that she doesn't get paid anything to make clothes for me. At least, not that I'm aware of. But my laughter is cut short as she closes in on me.

"I mean it."

I look to her, seeing that she veers off to the side as she wraps her hooves around my neck, bringing me in for a long, tight hug. Initially caught off guard, I wrapped my arms around her to return the sentiment. She loosens up a bit, whispering in my ear.

"You're all that this fashionista could ask for in a client."

My eyes open wide as I feel the sensation of two moistened lips kissing me on my cheekbone, her touch, soft and tender as she pulled away slowly. Her lips seemed to have melted into my skin as she pulls away. They seemed to latch onto me as much as the strips I used just recently, only her sting was a pleasant one. A tingling sensation surged from my cheek on down my spine.

Even the panties I wore started to become even more uncomfortable than they already were as I felt myself becoming slightly aroused by the gentle touch of the seamstress.

As she released her hug, she slid off of me like water off of oil. Her hooves finally met with the ground, yet I could see that she was very much shaken from the action she took towards me. A light shade of pink graced her cheeks as she looked away from me bashfully. As she turned around, I found myself watching her movement as she left. She didn't walk with her usual prim and proper trot-step, but rather a subtle sway. I could tell she wanted to jump up and down, but we both knew that she wouldn't dare do it in front of me. As the distance between us grew, she started to speed up, almost galloping out of the barn, giggling all the while.

But as she made her way to the exit, I could see a smaller shadow standing by the door, watching her as she left. I knew that it was Spike, but I honestly didn't know how he had felt about what she did. I was too mesmerized by the swaying of her hips to even give it a thought.

At last, she and the young dragon had taken their leave. Now all there was that waited for me was two snickering mares that stood outside. I sighed as I readied myself to face the two partners in crime. Straightening out my dress, I decided that if I was going to walk out there, then I was going to wreck it like I was on the runway. Once again saying, if I was gonna be wearing this dress, then I might as well work it.

I finally stepped outside, gaining two boisterous laughs as Rainbow Dash and Applejack rolled around on the ground, barely holding back tears of pain. They looked at me and tried to pause long enough to say something, but failed miserably as they continued to laugh. It took them a full thirty seconds to finally get a word in.

"S-so..." Rainbow Dash began, out of breath. "H-how do you feel?"

"Y-ya feel p-p-pretty?" Applejack stuttered before going back into her laugh.

I responded with hand on my hip, a tilted head and a flicked wrist. "Don't be jealous because I look good. If you tried to wear this dress, the two of you would look like hot, flaming trash."

Instantly, the two mares stopped laughing and stared at me slack-jawed.

Whipping my arm in a Z formation, I launched my right hand to the air and snapped at them as I started to walk off. "Slay!"

Putting one foot in front of the other, I made sure to exaggerate my hips swaying as I worked the shit out of this dress. I strutted my way towards the castle in the setting sun. Bitches can hate, but they gotta look to hate though.

Step, 2, 3, 4. Work! Turn to the left. Work! Now turn to the right. Work, sashay, shante.

Finally making it back to the palace, I continued to strut my stuff until I reached the doors that lead to my room. Finally feeling the burn from my workout walk, I giggled at the fact that I had, for the first time, a clever comeback to an insult and said it without as much as a stutter. Despite my humiliation, I've managed to turn it into a win. At least my legs are silky smooth and I look, as Rarity would call it, criminal.

But there was one thing that definitely was in the back of my mind as I walked from one side of town to another with a big smile on my face. Is it possible that Rarity actually had a thing for me? I mean, did she? I understood that it was just a kiss on the cheek and that could mean anything at this point. But what she said to me about being her client, something about being all that she could ever ask for in one. I was completely lost.

Yeah, I was supposed to spend some quality time with Applejack and Rainbow Dash today, but I think I would have to catch them on a later date. For now, lets get myself out of these panties. My two-by-meat technology isn't going to function properly without the appropriate clearance. Looking either way, I opened my door and slid into my bedroom with as little sound as possible.

"Hello, Nondis."

My heart beats at a million miles a second. Clutching my chest, I stared back at the purple alicorn sitting on my bed, staring back at me with a stern expression.

At that moment I remembered what all had happened in here this morning. And that confidence from just recently had now subsided into fear. Twilight rose from her bed and walked to me.

"Hey, Twilight." I spoke nervously. "Sorry about that. I think I might've walked into the wrong room." That's bullshit because only I have the key to this room... except the landlord of castle, who is also the owner of said room. Dammit.

"That's a nice dress you're wearing. Who made it?" She asked, seemingly angry with the fact that I had started to fiddle with the door, hoping I could ease my way back out.

"Well... you know... I've gotten into a really embarrassing wager with Applejack and Rainbow-" The tumblers of the door clicked, finally letting me make my escape. But before I could even get a foot into the hall, I found myself transported to my bed on the other side of the room. I looked up to see the door closed once more and Twilight standing directly in front of me.

"You saw something this morning. I know you did."

I could understand her anger with me. I managed to catch a glimpse of something I shouldn't have. It was an invasion of her privacy and I am more than remorseful of it. "I didn't mean to! I swear!"

"What did you see!?"

There was no backing out of it now. She had me cornered. If I was to go into hiding, she'd know where I could and couldn't go. She knows this town like I know the back of my hand. And plus she could teleport to any place she so chooses at will. I might as well admit to her what I saw.

"What did you see?" She asked calmly, using her teleportation to stand directly over me, pinning me to my bed.

With a gulp, I finally confess.

"R... R-rings."

Twilight looked away from me with discomfort. I knew that she was angry at me now.

"Oh... You... weren't suppose to see those."

To my surprise, she sounded more sheepish than livid. I actually expected her to blast me with her magic or turn me into some sort of newt. But instead, she just climbed off of me and walked away.

"Twilight, look. I am so-OOOLY FUCK!"

As she stood in place, she pulled back her tail and showed me what I had gotten a glimpse of just earlier this morning. A lightly glazed set of purple lips, sealed off by a pair of silver rings. Twilight face ran red as she presented herself before me. "I guess you're probably wondering why those are there."

That and why you're so openly showing this to me. "Uh... yeah."

Flipping her tail down, she turns back to face me, trying her best to look at me as she explained herself. "The truth of the matter is... I'm abstinent. I've been this way since I was a foal. In fact, my rings were placed on me by my mom as soon as I was inducted into Princess Celestia's tutelage. The reason being is because I couldn't afford myself to bed stallions as long as I was the student to the princess."

I just nodded my head in agreement as she continued.

"See, the thing about these rings is that since I was also made princess, those rings were replaced by these rings instead. They're enchanted to soothe me whenever the estrus season starts. They also negate any surges of lust that are induced by the season. So... as you can guess, I've never been with a stallion... I mean, I've been with plenty of stallions as friends, and... one that... I had an interest in... but as far as going any further than a kiss... no."

Well, that's a lot of personal info. But that does bring up the question. "Can you remove them?"

"I mean, yeah! I can on my own. Whenever I want to or need to, whether it's for hygienic purposes or... for my special somepony. But mainly for the first reason."

"Then how about the second?"

Twilight looked away from me completely. "I've never had one. And I don't think I will."

"Twilight... I'm so-"

"But... It make me feel somewhat relieved that someone actually wanted to take a peek."

I'm so lost. "What?"

"Well, with my being a princess, stallions are scared to even approach me just for a casual conversation. There's no way that anypony would even look my way for something like that. "

"But what I did was an accident." I added.

"I know. But... just for a second... just tell me, am I... you know... attractive?"

The implications of that question left me scratching my head. "Define attracti-"

"Do I look appealing to the eye? Like if I was just without a title, I'm not a student of the princess, just plain me. If you were a stallion and you saw what you just did, would you... like what you saw?"

I have a boner and I don't even know why. "Well... yeah! I mean, hell yeah! You're sexy as-" Cutting myself off, I finally realized that that last part may have been a bit much. "I mean... Yes. You are very... attractive."

Twilight finally looked at me with a relieved smile. "Thanks. I asked because this was the first time a stallion has ever thought of me that way, or from what I was aware of. Though I'm pretty sure that my big brother may have a different view on the matter considering that he's Captain of the Guard."

"Yeah... But... can I change clothes now?"

Twilight blinked and instantly performed a one-eighty, making sure that I was out of her view. "Oh, sure. Go on ahead."

Okay. Now I know this is deliberate. Twilight showing me what she did just now, telling me why, staying in my room while I change clothes. "Um... Twilight-"

"Yes?"

And I've been meaning to know the answer to this question since this morning. "Why did you stay in my room while I was taking a shower?"

Twilight jumped at the moment my question left my lips. In mere seconds, she was transformed from a strong headed princess to a clumsy teenage girl. "Well, you... um... I... we..."

She couldn't even come up with a logical excuse. If she wanted to see anything, all she had to do was ask...

Wait a damn minute, different species asswipe! What the fuck are you even saying? All she had to do was ask.

Twilight suddenly showed a look of disapproval as she stared to something directly behind me. "Discord, I know you're there. Stop hiding in the window."

I turned around to see if the Draconequus was sitting in the window. All I could see was the vines from the castle and the late-evening sky. I turned back around to speak, but found myself alone in my room.

You know, that's the second time I've fell for something today that seemed convincing, at worst. While calling attention to the window, she waited until I looked away from her before teleporting to somewhere other than here. By the time I would've turned around, she'd be well out of the room before explaining to me why she was in here this morning. Especially if I had to take a shower and change clothes.

Clever girl.

Throughout my time here in Equestria, I've gotten to know many others and have befriended most of them. I found myself starting to fit into a society not of my own. Peaceful, light-hearted, caring. True, I haven't left Ponyville to find out about anything dark, sinister or dangerous, but I do know that the society here is an improvement over the one that I have come to know. Besides, where else can I go waltzing around town with a dress and no one even defame me for it? I can't even find myself being angry with those circumstances because I'm too busy enjoying myself.

But that doesn't mean that I enjoy wearing dresses. Let's not get that confused.

So yeah, there are times where I look at my current circumstances and ask myself: Am I willing to leave here? Am I really going to leave this perfect little utopia for the place that shuns my very existence?

I think I should reword that question... This place is far from perfect. It's not exactly a utopia either. In truth, even the finest of stones are not without cracks.

It seems that with recent developments, I find myself asking more questions than I'm finding the answers to. I mean, the mares I've gotten to know aren't the problem. They're awesome. But as far as Pinkie's concerned...

...I'm not so sure that this world is perfect anymore.

Okay. Now that I've managed to get to this point, I've finally seen for myself the drastic improvements I have made when it came to my writing. Originally, this was the plotline of an earlier fanfic by the name of Friendship Is Eternal (Torment). However I changed up the execution and the style. The comedy remained the same (for the most part).

I wrote this story as a means to take note of my first story, it's initial failure, what I did wrong and what I needed to improve upon. So when I said I was trying something different, I was meaning that I wanted to compare myself to myself when I first started. That sounds like an ego-trip, but I'm doing it for myself so that I can see where I've done well, what I still need to work on, etc.

This isn't the halfway point yet, but I feel as if I should thank everyone who fav'd and liked the story. As of now, this story has +350 favs and I will do my damnest to make sure that my writing improves.

So thanks for the 350 plus some odd faves. This made my weekend.

Pinkamena Diane Pie, or Pinkie Pie for short, is an earth-pony mare with a pink coat and hot-pink mane and tail. She sported curly hair and large sapphire eyes, a small but cute little muzzle and a cutie mark of three balloons, indicating that her special talent was partying. But the main thing that defined her character was her smile.

That thing could damn near put the sun out of business thanks to how often she does it. For that smile to go away is something that's rather concerning. I couldn't find myself being in a room without her showing those pearly whites. Which led me to question, why did she smile so much?

How could she smile so brightly all the time? It's almost annoying.

"Non-non! Are you up!?"

I turn over in my bed as I looked to the clock across the room. It was still early in the morning, reading a time of 8:24. While I would normally complain about how early this was, I find myself not saying anything at all. Not after the sleep I just got. From yesterday's running around and strutting across the town, I ended up going to bed exhausted and slept like a rock.

So this morning, I felt fully energized. I really felt great this time around. No grogginess, no signs of feeling cranky, no desires of shoving my fist into someone's mouth. Though the morning tents have started to become much more frequent. And boxer briefs aren't very good at hiding hard-ons, especially with how they could snuggle against your crotch.

But I guess that's the price of comfort.

"Non-non?"

Yawning and stretching, I called back to the pink mare. "Yeah, I'm awake."

"Then open the door, silly! I can't talk to you like this."

That's right. When she wants to talk to you, she wants to be in your face about it. But I was more reluctant due to the fact that my dick was still at half-mast. I needed to put something on before I answered the door. So I threw on the nearest pair of jeans I could find as quickly as I could so that I could hide my daily morning salute from view. Pulling up a pair of black jeans with studded back pockets, I quickly buttoned them and ran towards the door and allowed Pinkie to see me.

"Took you long enough, Nonny!"

Oh, you have no idea of what I have to go through on a daily basis. I doubt you even have a clue. "Well, I do have to put on a pair of pants to avoid any unwanted attention."

"Oh! And in speaking of attention..." Her eyes beam-lined from my face to my crotch. "Morning, little Nonny!"

DAMN IT PINKIE! "Eyes up here."

The pink mare giggled and snorted as she looked back up to me. "Poor little guy, can't even say hello."

Really, this was getting annoying. "Pinkie!"

"What? Even he has to come out of his shell sometime."

"That's not the point. That's never been the point. The point is-"

Pinkie giggled as she gave me a playful nudge. "You know, you should really think about another color. Maybe pink?"

I am NOT wearing anything pink. "What are you talking about? What brought this up?"

"Well, I'm just saying. Besides, gray seems to be a really boring and dull color. No wonder why little Non-Non looks so depressed all the time."

Did she just call my dick depressed? Wait, that's not the question that I should be asking. It should be more on the boundaries of 'how did you know that my underwear is gray?' They could be blue and you couldn't even know.

Pinkie blew some air at the crotch of my trousers and much to my surprise, I caught a breeze. I looked down to see what was going on and much to my surprise.

Thar she blows. Sails ahoy and lowered by starboard bow. Catching a mighty good breeze, captain.

"PINKIE! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT MY FLY WAS DOWN?" I asked red-faced while I covered my shame and zipped up my pants.

"What? Don't you think the little guy needs a bit of fresh air?"

I swear if this mare was teasing me to just fuck her into the ground in my sexually-deprived state, I might consider accommodating her. Different species or not.

"Pinkie, why do you torture me?"

"I don't mean to. I just like to have a little fun with you from time to time."

What kind of fun, if I may ask? "Um... Clarify?"

"Not that kind of fun, Nonzie." She answered with deadpan. "You're cute, but I really don't see myself that close to you... Not yet, anyways."

What the shit? She is such a tease! "Okay. So what are we doing today?"

Pinkie bounced into my room and pranced around as she started to talk. "Well, my sisters Inkie, Blinkie and Maud decided to pay me a visit tomorrow afternoon. So I needed to go to the town and get a few supplies for a party I'm planning to welcome the three into town."

And there's our bit of exposition for today. "So what kind of party did you want to plan? I know that you wanna do a welcome party, but what's gonna be the theme?"

"Well, I was thinking of something more rock related since my sisters came from the rock farm in Macintosh Hills. So I was thinking something more on the line of... I got it! The title of the party will be called: Fifty Shades of Gray!"

FUCK NO! "Um..." I swear to the God that I don't believe in, if I find so much as one vampire or one werewolf at this party, so help me... "Do you have a better name for this party?"

"Well, I was thinking about calling it Rocking Out in Ponyville, but-"

"Let's go with that!" Because I refuse to go to a party under the title of a fanfiction of an overrated piece of literature that managed to shell out even worse movies. That is not going to happen.

"Well... Okay! Whatever you say, Nons!" Pinkie found an interest in jumping in my bed as I started to grab some of my clothes and head for the shower. "I'll be right here waiting for you."

Do equines have any regard to the concept of privacy? I think they should if they can have separate bathrooms in a restaurant. "Pinkie... Get out."

"Aww..." She droned. "But I just wanted to see-"

"O! U! T! OUT!" I screamed, stomping my foot against the ground and pointing towards the door.

Pinkie giggled as she bolted out of the room, closing the door behind her. Meanwhile, I was left shaking my head as I thought about how dense she could be at times. But then again, her annoying the shit out of me was practically a way of life that I've gotten used to.

Pinkie was annoying, but she still wasn't as bad as Spongebob.

Oh God. I really hope he's not in this universe.

Later that morning, we spent quite some time at Sugarcube Corner to help Mr. and Mrs. Cake out with some orders. It seemed that they managed to draw in a huge early-morning crowd that day with the introduction of their newest treat: the lemon-meringue cupcake, deduced from their formula of the Marzipan-Mascarpone-Meringue-Madness, or MMMM for short, and shrinking it down to a third of the ingredients as well as a fraction of the size. It went without saying that the supply was far too little in relationship with the demand. We couldn't even get breakfast out of the way because we were so busy serving up food.

"Nonny, we need three more orders for lemon-meringue!"

"Got it!"

While Pinkie was busy jotting down orders, Mr. Cake and I was busy doing what we could to get the orders filled out. While I was skilled somewhat in the art of cooking, I was still somewhat inept in the art of baking sweets. Luckily, most of that process went to him instead. My job was more focused on what I could do on the decoration end.

That's where I had him beat. Where he could only decorate one cupcake at a time with his mouth or with both his hooves, I had the advantage of two hands, both capable of decorating the sweets at double the speed and almost three times the accuracy of what he could normally do. I guess hands have their major upsides when it came to stuff like this.

As soon as I finished with one tray of cupcakes, I placed them on the counter, ringing a bell and shouting out to the two mares outside. "One dozen, baked and dressed!"

As I'd made my way back to the dressing station, Mrs. Cake, or Cup for short, ran to the counter and grabbed the steaming goods. And in about fourty-five seconds, I managed to get yet another dozen cupcakes dressed and ready for takeout. Landing the next batch out on the counter, I ran into Pinkie as she held another ticket. This time, she smiled widely at me as she laid the ticket on the counter.

"Just a few more, Nonzie! I need about five dozen more so we can finish up!" She said as she trotted back to the front counter.

"You got it!"

While I started to make my way back to the dressing station, Mr. Cake, or Carrot for short, nodded his head and smiled as I started on the freshest batch of cupcakes he made.

"Gee, mister. You sure do work fast."

The small amount of praise boosts my spirits to a high after not being able to eat breakfast that morning. I nodded as I continued to dress the sweets with the meringue frosting. "Thanks. I try to make sure that I'm keeping up with you guys."

Carrot laughed a bit before turning back to the oven. "Actually, I'd like you to slow it down a bit. Any faster than this, you'd have to start dressing cupcake batter."

"Well we'll just have to keep things moving." I noted as I started to make my way to the counter with the newly dressed cupcakes.

Just as I laid the new batch down, Pinkie trotted into the kitchen. "Hey, Mr. Cake, you mind if I work in here for a bit?"

"Sure, Pinkie! I'll take over where you left off."

Carrot hurried from the stove and made his way to the outside of the kitchen, picking up the notepad that Pinkie held just previously. Meanwhile, Pinkie started filling up the pans full of cupcake batter. She seemed to be a lot faster than he was, being that he poured his in at a slower and more reluctant pace. Instead, she lined up all the empty pans and filled them with the paper cups before filling them up with batter as if it was in an assembly line.

Had it been her back here instead, I was going to look and feel like hell when we finished.

"How you doing over there?"

I stood on the side of the counter, legs crossed as I leaned over and shrugged. "Waiting on you."

She blinked with surprise. "You've finished all five of the orders?"

I shook my head. "No. I meant that I'm still needing to finish up four, but they haven't gotten out of the oven yet."

"Oh. Well keep up the good work!" She praised me with a smile.

As the minutes ticked by, Pinkie pulled out two more batches of cupcakes and in a minute and thirty seconds, I managed to dress both sets and have them out on the counter. I walked up to the counter and met up with Cup.

"Oh dear, you and Pinkie really make a good team back there!"

Feeling a little cocky, I touted my nose in the air a bit. "Yeah, we're okay, I guess."

"Do you know if Pinkie's busy? A young colt has been wanting to see her."

"Well-" My answer became interrupted with a pink hoof to the lips.

"Tell him that I'm gonna be really busy back here."

"Well, if you say so." Cup said as she walked back out to the front counter.

Pinkie removed her hoof from my mouth and sighed. "I guess we might not have time for breakfast after all."

I looked at the clock on the wall, reading that there wasn't much time left before the elevensies crowd. It seemed that the breakfast shift was definitely done for the day. "Yeah. Looks like it's all over for that."

"Sorry, Non-Non." She muttered gloomily.

"It's all good."

Pinkie started to look towards the back door and smirked as she looked back to me. "Hey, as soon as we finish, why don't we go on ahead and start our day together?"

"Playing hookie?" I asked, dumbfounded that she was willing to skip a day of work.

"Of course not, silly! Besides, I'm not even on the clock today. I just come here and help when I have free time."

Dedicated to her job because it helps makes others happy. That's what I'm assuming is gonna be her reason. "Howcome? You have the day off."

"I live here. This is my home. Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Cake owns the property, but I do have the entire place for rent. Whatever revenue I make on my daily shift, it goes back towards them. And if my tips are good, which they usually are, then I can plan parties. I also do catering and party-planning as well, so I do have a few bits coming in with each party I throw."

Doing something you love and getting paid for it. That's what I call a win at life. "Sounds pretty cool!"

The oven timer finally rang and Pinkie bolted over to remove the last two dozen cupcakes out from the sweltering heat of the oven. As she placed both in the dressing area, I readied myself to apply the frosting to the sweets. But she halted me and grabbed a bag of frosting so she could help me out.

"First to finish decides where we go out to lunch!"

Sounds good to me. "You're on!"

I pulled my bag up and started to push against the back end, priming a bit of frosting out of the tip. She looked at me and looked back to the bag she held before counting down.

"One-two-three-go!" She rushed out as she started to dress a cupcake. Despite her attempt to catch me off guard, I managed to clear out one row. I paid no attention to her as I tried my best to finish all of them as quickly as I could, but also making sure that they were somewhat presentable.

"DONE!" I shouted as I triumphantly slammed the bag on the counter.

I became satisfied of my work and, even more so, my speed. But as I saw one full tray of decorated cupcakes, I looked over to see just a single one dressed of twelve. But before I could even ask, she started to draw something on the side of my face with her bag.

"Hey, cut that out!"

"Aww! I wanted to draw a smiley face and now you ruined it!"

I wiped the frosting off the side of my face. "I thought we were racing."

"I know. But then I started to wonder how you'd look with frosting on your face!"

Typical Pinkie. "We still have to decorate those other ones." I noted as I licked the frosting off of my fingers.

"Ooh! I wanna taste!" She shouted as her tongue lapped at the frosting still smudged on my cheek.

"Eww... Slobber." I moaned as I tried to push her off, to which she retorted with a giggle.

"You know, you won the race. So that means you decide where we get to go to lunch!"

She must've gave me the race on purpose so she'd make up the fact that we missed breakfast. That's what I'm going with. "Okay. But I still don't know the town quite like you do. So I'll let you choose."

"Okie-dokie lokie!"

As she started to make her way to the back door, I tugged at her tail, trying to point her back to the pan of unfinished cupcakes. "Buuuut, not before you finish your cupcakes first."

"Sure thing." In almost an instant, she had the unfinished tray and the dressed cupcakes at the takeout counter, fully prepped and ready to go. All of which was done in what I perceived was a pink blur. She didn't even give my jaw a chance to drop as she pulled me along the way, out the back door and into the streets of Ponyville, where we would spend the rest of our day.

After a decent lunch and a quick break, Pinkie dragged me to the open market on the southern end of town. She seemed so cheerful as she sprang towards the first vendor to buy the confetti. While she gleefully hummed, I watched from behind as she approached the kiosk.

"I'd like the super-spectacular-surprise-size please."

The mare behind the desk pulled out a large bag of confetti, just about the size of Pinkie Pie's body and laid it out on top of the counter. "Big party coming up?" She asked casually.

"You know it!" Pinkie cheesed brightly as she motioned me to come over and help.

"So what's the big occasion?" The vendor asked as she exchanged the goods for bits.

"Actually, my sisters are coming to town! AHH!" She cheered as she became just as giddy as usual, if not more. "I can't wait until they actually get to meet my friends for the first time. And they'll get to meet Inkie and Blinkie for the first time. And Maud already knows them. So now I know that my big sisters will meet up with my best friends, and they'll both end up becoming friends like they are with Maud!"

I can see why she was so excited now. Her focus was trying to get her sisters and her friends to come into one gathering. She wanted the two parties to get to know each other. And certainly with the fact that Maud and the others were already friends, I guess it does make sense how the other two siblings could also become 'in like' of the other girls.

And then parties happened.

"So, have you heard the rumors?" The vendor asked Pinkie.

"What rumors?"

"Well, from what I heard, you have an admirer."

Pinkie blew air from her lips at the thought of her 'admirer'. "Well, as long as he's willing to treat me right, then we'll be okay."

Where did that come from? 'Treat me right?' That sounded almost... nah. She's probably referencing that one guy who slept with her and never called back. Fucking bastard.

"Well, I hope that you have a good day, Pinkie!"

"Thanks a bunch! Be back if I need anything else!"

While the vendor waived back at me and Pinkie, I started to carry the large bag of confetti back to Sugarcube corner as she continued her shopping.

"Nonny, where are you going!" She asked me, stopping me in my tracks.

"I can't carry too much with this in the way, I have to bring it back to Sugarcube Corner so I can help you shop some more."

"You'll be fine. Besides, I won't have you carrying too much."

Something tells me that I'm going to regret if I have to stop somewhere. Cause if we stop, I'm putting this bag down. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive!" She nodded as she pulled on my arm, directing me towards another kiosk. The next vendor was for balloons and streamers.

Despite my time here and my adaptation to the daily commute of the market, I felt that this amount of venue-hopping was absurd. I know that there's a separate vendor for each because each pony specialized in creating the goods that they sold, but at least they could pool their resources into a superstore where we could just grab what we needed in one go. But then again, that's just the corporate outlook on things rather than the social outlook. At least here, we could see exactly who it is that makes our goods rather than confront a store and make a complaint if things don't function properly. Then there's the process of recall, shipping, all that other bullshit that I don't feel like explaining.

I already have to carry a big bag of shit. I am not going to exhaust myself further by going into details.

"Hey there, Pinkie! Got another party today?" The stallion behind the desk asked.

"No. It's for tomorrow!" Pinkie corrected. "Can I get the super-mega-amazingly-awesome-deluxe package?"

That's a mouth full. Do they really carry those sizes?

"Sure thing, ma'am!"

Pinkie looked back to me with a large smile, her teeth as bright as ever. I smiled back, despite my struggle to keep this bag from falling out of my grip. But suddenly, her attention seemed to look past me...

That's where her smile faltered for the first time today.

Despite her positive self, she managed to find something that didn't seem to click well with her. I turned around to see what it was, but all I could see was ponies walking across the street, carrying on their daily commute. Suddenly, Pinkie's voice caught my attention.

"Hey, do you think... you could just speed it up a teensy-bit? I really gotta get this stuff and go."

"Sure. But what's the rush? Party's tomorrow."

"Yeah, but you never know when you need to throw a party a day in advance." Pinkie said as she pulled out a sack of bits and counted out the amount to cover the price of the goods.

As the vendor finished gathering everything, she tossed the smaller bags of balloons and streamers to me as she dropped the bits at the counter. The pony behind the counter waived goodbye, but Pinkie was more focused on dragging me towards the next venue.

She still smiled at me, but this time I saw something that wasn't exactly her. I saw anxiety, fear even. She was scared of something and I didn't even know what it was. Her eyes even showed hints of it, though they were subtle. As she pulled me, I had noticed that her grip had gotten a little tighter. Even the speed at which we walked was a bit faster. Pinkie was either hiding something that she didn't want me to know about or she was trying to avoid something. Either way, this concerned me.

We had reached the third vendor for today. It seemed that this one was for the noisemakers. Among the kiosk, I saw an assortment of poppers, bells, whistles and shakers among other things. As she approached the counter, her greeting seemed shortened.

"Hey there. You mind if I get the largest pack of party favors you've got?"

The colt behind the counter smiled as he pulled out a rather large box of goods. "Sure thing, Ms. Pie! Will that be all for you?"

Pinkie giggled, but not nearly as much as she would on a regular basis. "Please, just call me Pinkie."

"Sure thing."

As she pulled out the sack of bits she turned around to me, wearing a smile. There was no fooling me this time. And even as she looked to the busy street behind me, her smile soon became replaced with shock. Not even counting the bits, she threw the sack on the counter and pulled the box onto her back and started to pull me into the opposite direction of where we were originally headed. Meanwhile, the colt at the kiosk was calling back for Pinkie.

"Ma'am, you overpaid!"

Pinkie didn't bother to look back as she screamed to him. "Keep the change!"

Something was completely off now. There's no way she would be this reckless with the funding of a party. We still had to go to the places that sold cups and drinks, the place that sold the cool, little party games and even somewhere else where we had to buy the banner, plus the paint. We were missing a lot of things and she wasn't stopping to correct that either.

"Pinkie, what's going on?"

She didn't answer me as we finally slowed down in another part of the market, far from where we needed to go to get our supplies.

"Pinkie?"

A long silence drew between us as she looked back to me with a weakened smile. "It'll be alright. We did manage to get some things for the party. And plus the party is tomorrow. I can always finish my shopping then."

This was far from Pinkie's normal demeanor. I know I'm stating the obvious but if you could see the worry that filled her eyes, then you'd be as shocked as I am now. As we started to make our way back to Sugarcube Corner, we were stopped by a voice calling out to Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie! Hey!"

We looked over to see who it was. Much to our relief, it was one of the flower vendors. Pinkie walked up to her as she put on her best fear-hiding smile, which was strangely convincing. "Hey Rose, what's going on?"

"Pinkie! I've been wonderful! How's everything at the bakery going?"

Small talk is pretty much where this conversation was headed as I struggled to keep my balance with all of the stuff I was carrying. The large bag of confetti had started to slip from my sweaty grip and my hands weren't going to dry against the plastic either. As I continued to make sure I didn't drop anything, I listened in on their conversation.

"...But aside from that, Mr. and Mrs. Cake are doing just fine." Pinkie finished.

"Well that's good to hear. But I do have some news for you!"

Pinkie seemed to have cheered up a bit. "Really, what news?"

"Well, I met a colt just earlier this morning. Not only was he sweet and generous, but he was also quite mannerly."

"Really? That's great news."

"Yeah, for you."

Pinkie tilted her head with curiosity. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he purchased a bouquet of flowers for you earlier this morning and told me to hold on to them until I ran into you."

I wasn't sure of the facial expression Pinkie had as she stood motionless at the front of the kiosk, but I know that it wasn't good. Followed her long state of silence, Pinkie nearly yanked my arm clean off as she pulled me towards the nearest alley. I found myself barely able to hold on to anything while I tried to keep up with her. As we turned a corner, the sun disappeared from view. Running into a dead end, I saw that there was only one way out: the way we came. I looked over to Pinkie, who's mane had somewhat deflated.

Not a good sign.

"Pinkie, you alright?"

She looked back up to me with one of the weakest smiles she could ever produce as her eyes ran cold with fear. "I'm fine."

"That's a lie." I chided her, gently placing all of the stuff I carried down on the ground. "You don't act like this on any other given day."

"Look, we really need to get this stuff back to Sugarcube Corner, okay?" She definitely sounded as if she was trying to avoid something. Though I couldn't figure out just what it was.

"Pinkie, look. We can get this stuff over there in a bit. But I'm not moving another inch until you tell me what's going o-"

"Pinkie?" I heard from behind me. "Pinkie Pie, is that you?"

Correction: she definitely was trying to avoid someone.

I turned around to see a brown stallion with blue eyes, slowly walking up to us. And with the way Pinkie was acting, I have a funny feeling that I shouldn't like the fact that he's here.

"Oh... Hello, Caramel." Pinkie whimpered.

Yup, the ex that slept with her and never called after. Dicks like these are always a reminder of why I should never be too happy with just sex alone. The emotional baggage this mare carried because of him was more than enough to produce it's own gravitational pull. And right now, my fist was more than attracted to the possibility of meeting his face.

"Pinkie, I've been trying to talk to you all day! How's it been?" He asked, trying to sound as if he was being genuine.

Pinkie backed away into a wall as she looked to him with a scared expression, seeming as if she was familiar to this situation before. "I-I-I'm fine."

He walked up even closer to her, causing me to instinctively stand between the two of them. But just as I started to do so, Pinkie called out to me. "It's okay, Nondis. I can handle this."

The stallion named Caramel soon became face to face with her, raising a hoof to her chin. "I haven't seen you in over a year since our little breakup. What happened?"

You stopped talking to her after you had sex with her, that's what happened. Jackass.

Pinkie turned her head away from him, escaping the support of the stallion's hoof. "I... I just wasn't ready to see you again."

The stallion then politely guided her head back to himself. "Pinkie, you look absolutely stunning."

"Please don't." I heard her voice breaking as she avoided looking at him.

And just like that, Casanova decided to lift her chin up to his face, growing even closer to her. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened back then. I swear that it will never happen again. I promise to pay more attention to you. Come on. I know you've been lonely."

"I'm fine." She replied very weakly.

"No you're not. I've heard about your recent party binge. You know, the slew of parties that you threw without even sending me as much as an invite. I missed you, Pinkie."

"Stop... please."

"And I wanna show you just how much I've missed you."

Alright, that's fucking it! I can't take this bastard, fuck-dicklet anymore. Interrupting, I called out to the cornered mare. "Pinkie, who's this?"

The stallion reluctantly turned around and gave me a nod as he introduced himself. "I am Caramal, Pinkie's coltfriend."

"Ex-coltfriend." I corrected.

"Ex-coltfriend." He reworded. "But I am here to make amends to our past relationship and start back anew. If it's okay with you, we would be leaving now."

"Well, jackass, I don't see that happening."

"Good sir, my name is Caramel."

"Right! Jackass! J-A-C-K-A-S-S. That's how you spell your name, right?"

The stallion gave off a snort as he started to take his attention off of Pinkie and walk towards me instead. "Sir, I will have you know that what we do is none of your business. So if you don't mind leaving, that would be your best option because what she and I do, our relationship, it doesn't concern you."

"Pinkie's my friend. Nuff said."

"Non-Non, please..." I heard Pinkie whisper out to me.

"Look sir, I'm asking you nicely. Now sod off."

"Do you have any medical issues in regards to your loins?" I asked.

"Why is my stallionhood any of your concern?"

"Well, it seems that you have a bit of a performance issue."

The stallion snorted. "I believe that my performance is more than adequate. If you wish to know any details, then feel free to ask that mare in the corner." He stated, pointing to Pinkie Pie. I really wanna pummel the shit out of this guy.

"Well, here's a little hint you can use to increase your shitty-ass performance. What you do, limp-dick, is go to the nearest drugstore, ask for something called viagra and it will help you GO FUCK YOURSELF."

"Nondis..." Pinkie called out once more.

"I have had it up to my muzzle with you sir. If you do not back down, then I will be forced to take action."

I took two steps towards him, grabbed my balls and thrusted towards him. "Uh-huh. Your mom got some of this action, and my dick is still on her mind more than her dick-headed son."

"You little..." He seemed ready to cock his hoof back for a punch. Meanwhile, I was so infuriated over how he practically called out Pinkie in the most obscene manner, I was far from making this a fair fight. If I was going to fight him, I was going to make sure I had something blunt to hit him with. And in the corner of my eye, I could see an old piece of wood

"Hey batter-batter! Start swingi-"

All in a blur, I could see the distance increasing between the two of us. I could only feel my arm nearly being yanked out of it's socket as Pinkie tugged me along to the street. As soon as we reached the open air, she broke way for Sugarcube Corner, all while dragging me with her. And as we moved along, I could still see the stallion looking back at us, angry that his chance at Pinkie had been foiled by me.

But as the distance grew far between me and the stallion, I couldn't help but to feel a wave of relief wash over me. I can sure talk big, but even then, fighting an equine was something I didn't know how to do, let alone an earth pony breed.

Somehow, I feel as if had gotten myself into a pretty big mess.

Throughout the day until late in the evening, we fixed up much of the bakery on our own in hopes of minimizing the amount of money Pinkie had to spend tomorrow in order to purchase the other things we didn't buy for today. As we did, Pinkie seemed less than her stellar self. I couldn't even see Pinkie as the pony standing before me now.

Her mane had partially deflated and had remained that way since we met up with her ex. Even my attempts to get her to smile resulted in nothing more than failure. She continued to wear that frown all while we planned this party.

I tried to ask her what the history was between them, but she ignored me each time I brought it up. Each time I tried to get her to speak, she'd move to a different part of the room, trying to set up a party. Instead of her opening up like she normally does, she shuts me out. It scared me.

"Pinkie... I need some help with this table." I said, causing her to walk over and quickly maneuver the table to the far end of the room, leaving the center of the bakery as an open floor.

When we finished moving the table, she found herself working someplace away from me. And each time I walked towards her, she shied away from me.

I know this: whatever that guy did to her, she's still feeling it whenever she sees him. Pinkie was traumatized beyond my comprehension. And there was nothing I could do or say as long as Pinkie remained quiet. I wanted to help her, but I can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do.

I hated it. I hated him. I don't even know what he did to her, but I know I'll hate it when I find out.

Pinkie found me mumbling about him as my mind became enamored with the thought of him. As I worked, when I thought of him, I started to slam things. When the ghostly image of him staring down Pinkie Pie replayed in my head, I tightened my grip, even when I wasn't holding on to anything. My nails dug into the skin of my hands as my body shook with contempt of him.

"You shouldn't let your mind wander." She whispered to me softly. "Especially with him."

Those were the first words she spoke to me since we had gotten back. "Who is he?"

She shook her head, walking towards the opposite side of the room. "Somepony I love. Somepony I hate. Somepony who caused me pleasure and pain. A bad relationship."

I scoffed at how cryptic she became and rushed over to her. "You call him being manipulative 'love'?"

She stopped working all together as she sat on the floor, clenching her eyes shut so that she didn't have to look at me. "I used to." She whined weakly.

I offered to give her a hug, but found myself pushed away. "Pinkie, let me help you."

"No thanks. I'm fine."

Now my anger had started to direct it's attention towards her. "No. That's a fucking lie. You don't just run around town trying to avoid someone if they aren't an issue. Now what did he do to you?"

"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO ASK PERSONAL QUESTIONS LIKE THAT!?"

I flinched at her harsh words. It was true that she did warn me about not asking her anything personal, but this was something I had managed to get myself into out of my desire to see her happy. And the one time her smile falters is because of the mentioning of Him.

I refuse to identify that guy by a name. To do so would leave a bad taste in my mouth.

"Pinkie, I just wanted to help you-"

"You can help me plan this party. Nothing else."

A prolonged period of silence grew between us as we stood motionless. I didn't want to delve deeper if she didn't want me to, but I wanted to. I wanted to get to the root of everything that made her like this. I can't stand it anymore.

Without a single word, I resumed back to my duties. Pinkie just stood where she did, looking at me as I swept the floor. Finally getting busy, she walked into the back of the room and opened up the box she carried in when we arrived back shortly. As she started to pull out some of the party favors and sort them out, she called out to me.

"Do you still have those streamers?"

"Yeah. I pretty sure I..." Dropped it all back when we were back at the alley before ol' dude decided to pay Pinkie an unwanted visit. And along with the streamers were the balloons and the confetti. "Fuck!"

"What?" She asks, turning to me.

"Pinkie, I'll be back in a sec." I said as I made my way outside.

"Where are you going?" She asked, seeming distressed.

"Out."

The sun had long since disappeared beyond the horizon. The sky was now a mix of orange, purple and black as I frantically searched the streets for the one alley we stopped by. Fortunately, it wasn't too far of a walk from the bakery. But still, night never really was an open invitation to walk on my own.

Thankfully, it didn't take me too long to find a large bag of confetti sitting at the side of the road. I kicked myself into high gear and ran towards the alleyway. Taking inventory, I noticed that all the balloons and streamers were at the very back of the dead end, a place I didn't recall placing them at.

This was a trap, and I fell right into it.

I turned around quickly to see if there was anyone standing behind me. And much to my suspicions, there He stood. I didn't have time to play games, and there was no way I was going to let him get the better of me. I know I suck at fighting, but at least I will go down swinging.

I took a step to my left, he took a step to his right to cut me off. I took a step to my right, he took a wider step to his left. I tried to fake my way to the left again, he didn't fall for it. I made another step to the left, he didn't have to move much. I waited for about a few seconds to see if I could get an opening, but he moved first. Caught off-guard, I took a step back, he took two steps forward. I started to slowly feel against the wall to my right.

"Looking for this?" He inquired, knocking a long piece of wood off of the side of the wall where he stood.

As the wooden object hit the ground, I could literally hear my mind cry out to me in a grand chorus. "Oh shit."

In less than a second, my legs shifted to my right, but not before his hoof came in contact with my right cheek, barely grazing it. All of this happened before I could get a hold of my footing. I fell backwards, my head coming in contact with the cobblestone road below. I felt my entire body jolt with electricity as the world went black for the fraction of a second. The world around me seemed to sparkle as I was laid out on the ground. I didn't feel any pain. I couldn't feel anything at all.

But without my knowledge, my body acted on it's own. Adrenaline pumped through my veins and propelled me of the ground. I didn't feel myself get up, I just did. I had no control over what was going on with my body as my head turned to my left to see if my hands were still operational. The fingers of my hands stretched far outwards and flexed, almost machine-like, as they notified my brain that my left hand still had functionality. My head turned to my right, seeing the same thing as my body started to yield control back to me. My right hand did the same as my left. Finally registering that my hands were still functioning properly, I slowly stood back up.

"You... you weren't supposed to be here. You're not the one I wanted to come here."

While I still tried to mentally recover from that little scare, I staggered back to a more solid stance to take him on with. A slight headache threw me off, as I slowly made my way to the back.

"I wanted Pinkie, not you."

Finally recovered from the unfamiliar experience, I spoke to him. "Pinkie doesn't want you. Leave her alone."

"No. You should've left things as they were."

As he walked closer to me, I still questioned him. "Why? Why her? What did she ever do to you? What did she do to deserve what you did to her?"

He stared at me with a blank expression. "That's none of your business."

I felt my headache become even worse as my body filled with rage. I charged at him, winding back a strong right hook. He countered with a sweeping back leg, knocking me back into the ground. Walking over towards me, he bucked me in my side as I was down. An immense amount of pain filled my body as my arms were nowhere near shielding me from any blows. He promptly followed his attack with a few strikes to the side of my head, causing me to become disoriented. I tried to swing at him, but my equilibrium was so out-of-whack that I ended up hitting a wall instead.

He laughed as he stood over me, mocking me. "You see now? It's absurd that you would come and challenge me like this, especially when you yourself can't even hope to defend yourself. What makes you think that you can defend somepony else?"

"I... don't have to win... to stand up for someone." I slowly dragged out. "I just have to stand back up."

"You're just as stupid as that dumb, pink whorse."

"Fuck... you..." I barely spoke out to him.

"Excuse me?"

I took back to my two feet, but couldn't stand on my own strength. I used the wall to prop me up as I set my sights back on the asshole in front of me. "Fuck you.... Pinkie is... beautiful, incredible... cute... awesome, kind, smart... funny... she's real. And you're just some asshat who happens to have mommy issues. You smile and you snicker, but you tear down others for your own amusement."

The stallion, a blur in my eyes, laughed a bit as he stood before me, making his way towards me. "I think I might have hit you a little too hard. You're delusional."

Like a drunken alcoholic tossed out of a bar, I ran towards him screaming my lungs out. "WHO GIVES FIVE FUCKS FOR WHAT YOU THINK!?"

As I felt my fist becoming intimate with his face, I felt a hoof dig deep into my stomach. Completely out of air, I collapsed and fell over. Despite the fact that I lost this fight, I could proudly say that I managed to get a lick in. At least it wasn't a total curb stomp.

As I lied defeated on the ground, the stallion rubbed his jaw as he looked upon me with dejection as cold as the blue in his eyes. "That hurt actually."

Sending a hoof to the side of my head, the last things I heard was the sound of impact, a low docking sound followed by a high-pitched ringing and the muffled sound of him yelling at me. I couldn't make out the words, but I know that he was belittling me.

And as my vision faded in an out of view. I could see him standing over me. One flash later, I saw the shadow of another pony attacking him. One final glimpse of the world later, I saw three of them attacking him...

I couldn't tell what was going on anymore as I faded from consciousness altogether.

I had awoken in a rather comfortable bed. Unfortunately, that was the only comfort I was feeling. Everything else about me was just sore. Even as I opened my eyes, the light seemed to make my headache worse than before. Squinting became my only source of salvation from the sharp contrast of light. I had looked around me to see where I was but the only thing I could see was pink. Pink dressers, pink closets, pink bed posts, pink sheets. Everything just looked like if Pinkie Pie had a can of paint and just went to town.

But I noticed that there was a significant set of standouts in this room aside from myself. Surrounding me were three gray mares, all three a different shade of gray. More notably, one with a straight, lavender mane and a dark grey dress stood directly over me with an unchanging expression, startling me.

"He's awake." She said in a monotone moan.

"AH!" I shouted, unfamiliar with the mare who stood over me so closely. "Who are you?"

"...Sorry about that." The mare hummed. "As far as where you are, you're in Pinkie's room."

Okay... not the question I asked, but progress is progress. "Okay... who are you?"

One of the other mares walked up to me, she seemed a bit more lively than the first. "Sorry we haven't introduced ourselves. The mare you spoke to first was my younger sister, Maud."

"Hello." She droned out as she lifelessly shifted her head. I think it was a nod.

"The other one over there is Blinkie." She said as she pointed to the bluish-gray mare with silver hair on the other side of the room.

"Nice to meet you." She said with a smile. It seemed that she was a normal one. Far more energetic than the others.

"And I'm Inkie." The all gray mare said as she pointed to herself. "I'm sure that you've met our baby sister, otherwise you wouldn't be here."

"Baby sister?"

The mare named Maud stepped towards me. "Pinkie. You know, pink coat, pink mane, eyes like mine."

No way in frozen hell these three are sisters to Pinkie Pie. These three mares are blood to the pony who seems to run on fucking dark matter. Well, color me surprised. "So... you three?"

"Yeah! And Pinkie's been speaking very highly of you since we brought you in." Blinkie cheered, walking towards me.

"To hear that you managed to defend her against her ex-boyfriend... to protect our little sister. It means a lot." Inkie added as she started to walk towards the door that led to the outside hall.

Unexpectedly, I feel a set of hooves firmly grasp my still sore body tightly. Maud spoke in her usual monotone voice, but taking on a slightly higher pitch. "You mean the world to our little sister. And you've done us a tremendous favor. It's not everyday where a colt will stand up for our baby sister."

The door broke wide open, revealing a familiar face. Only this time, her entire face was covered in hair. Extremely straight hair. Pink mane, pink coat, and three balloons on her flank, yet this was a totally different Pinkie that I was seeing. One who's face was covered in tears. Her eyes showed the restlessness she held as looked at me. A scream erupted as she bolted towards me at breakneck speed.

While I still suffered from the pain of my wounds, it seemed that hers had managed to reopen. Clutching onto my bloodied shirt, she held onto me, not wanting to let me go for even a second. Her muffled sobs vibrated against my chest as she constantly apologized to me. I tried to calm her down, but she was more happy that I was okay.

"Pinkie was scared to death when we came and got you." Inkie said as she finally closed the door.

"You were unconscious when we saved you." Blinkie added.

At this point, I was morbidly curious. If they managed to save me from one of Pinkie's exes, then what happened to him since he was a repeat offender? "So... what happened to ol' dude?"

Maud, in an unexpected turn of events, clenched her teeth as she spoke more about him. "He hurt Pinkie, a lot and often. He even violated her a number of times. And since we last met, we decided that we would spare him if he had left our sister alone... But he..." Maud's tone didn't change at all but from the way her teeth clinched against her words, I could tell that she was very upset. "He tries this again. So this time, we sent him packing."

"To where?"

Blinkie smiled happily as she cheerfully admitted his whereabouts. "Ponyville General Hospital. He's on life-support even as we speak." She answered innocently.

You know, I'm finding out that Pinkie's sisters, just like her, are all their own genre of crazy.

"Ouch. So I'm guessing you've three met him before?" I asked as Pinkie shifted on top of me, burying her muzzle into my shirt.

Inkie spoke up first. "Yes. Under similar circumstances. Only last time it was directed towards our baby sister."

I didn't think that I could press the mute button on the entire world fast enough to gather my thoughts on what she just said to me. Did I just hear that Pinkie Pie, the happiest mare I know, the one who never stops smiling, was actually abused? "...Pause."

Blinkie sighed heavily. "Pinkie never told you, did she?"

I shook my head, unsure on what I could say in response. I could only verify what Pinkie had said to me rather than what I was now figuring out. "Pinkie told me that he just... got intimate and never talked to her again, pretty much abandoned."

Maud quickly stepped in. "By 'get intimate', you mean forced intercourse. And by 'abandoned', you mean forced apart. Pinkie was willing to stay with him if it meant to make him happy, but we had to explain to her that obtaining his happiness with the exchange of her physical health was non-negotiable."

I felt my entire being sink further into the ground as the news came blitzing into my ears. It was a cruel reality that I didn't know could transcend dimensions: the abusive relationship.

Pinkie tightened her grasp at my shirt, still sobbing softly as she rested on top of me.

"Nondis!?"

Familiar voices called out to me from the bottom of the stairs, seeming to gain volume as the sounds of hooves running across the floor. In seconds, the door swung wide open to reveal another five visitors. Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Twilight all breathed collective sighs of relief as they found me responsive and functional. And of the five, four of them rushed to my bedside to wish me well.

"I can't believe you did something like this!" Fluttershy said in shock.

"You're an absolute mess! At the very least you're alright." Rarity said as she offered to tend to my bruised face.

"What in alfalfa were y'all thinkin' bout pullin' a stunt like that!? Ya had us worried sick!" Applejack scolded.

"Us?" Rainbow Dash said, trying to downplay the fact that she was still worried about the state I was in. "I knew from the start that he would be fine!"

Rarity stared at the cyan pegasus with bemusement. "That coming from the mare that started stating the worst-case scenarios, making Pinkie Pie even more terrified?"

"Well... I still wasn't as bad as Twilight. She was having an episode when she realized that Nondis didn't report in." Rainbow rebutted.

As the four others bickered amongst each other, I saw Twilight still standing in the doorway. She didn't even look at me. I wanted to say something to her, but she turned around and walked down the hall.

I knew that this was going to be a long walk home.

Later that very early morning, Twilight and I walked towards the castle, not exchanging a single word. As we walked into the dimly-lit halls of the palace, she stayed in front of me, never taking a glance back at me. She acknowledged that I was there, but she refused to respond or speak. The only thing that I heard during the trek to my room was the sounds of her hooves constantly clopping.

By the time I had managed to get to the door to my room. She started to walk down another direction. I quietly nodded to her, telling her goodnight while reaching out for the doorknob. But my reach was disrupted by a magenta glow surrounding my hand.

The glow didn't just hold me, it encircled my fingers with a gentle warmth. The palms of my hand tickled as the colorful flame cradled every inch of my skin, cherishing the very flesh that still hung to my body. I looked back to Twilight, seeing her horn glowing amidst the darkness of the halls. An ethereal hum sounded as she hid her eyes away from mine.

I knew that I have put her through a lot with this. It's been a full six hours from my meeting with Caramel and it's been only an hour since I've woken up. And throughout that time, she was constantly on alert. Rest was never an option when it came to the health of the human she had taken into the comfort of her own home.

With a humbled spirit, I whispered to her. "What I did was stupid and irresponsible."

She still said nothing as she held on to me.

"I'm sorry."

"...Don't you ever..." She started weakly. "...do something so stupid again. Don't you ever go out at night on your own. Don't you dare try and fight other's battles, knowing that your life will be at risk. Think, what will I do when you end up like this again, when I'm the one who has to look over you!?"

I felt ashamed. "Sorry, princess."

"You have got to be more careful. What you did for Pinkie was beyond praise and admiration, but what would've happened if you didn't wake up..." She trailed off, taking a moment to think about if things were much worse. Her composure broke slightly as she sniffled and tried her best to keep her voice unbroken. "What would I do then?"

"I'll be more careful."

Twilight released my hand and walked over to the door, opening it for me. "You better be." She said as she waited for me to walk inside.

As I stepped inside, I felt myself being lifted to the bed. The covers retracted and allowed me in between the sheets as the purple princess gently laid me down to rest for the night.

"No busy stuff tomorrow. You stay here, and don't you move."

Chuckling a bit, I answered her. "Oui, mon capitaine."

Quietly gliding over, she gave me a quick peck on the forehead before setting out. And as the doors closed, only the darkness remained. The only thing that seemed to have kept me awake were the thoughts that circled within my head.

Pinkamena Diane Pie, or Pinkie Pie for short, is an earth-pony mare with a pink coat and hot-pink mane and tail. She sported curly hair and large sapphire eyes, a small but cute little muzzle and a cutie mark of three balloons, indicating that her special talent was partying. But the main thing that defined her character was her smile.

Despite all the times she's been discouraged, beaten, abused, tortured, violated, despite all the deep emotional scars she bears on the inside, how in the hell can she still remain so positive? How could she smile so brightly all the time? It fucking hurts me to see how she could be so happy when shit hits the fan. Why does she have an affinity to smile despite all of the hardships she's gone through?

I asked her that before I left. Her answer:

I won't let my past become my present. I won't let the sad times become a standing obstacle for me. Instead, I will accept that it happened. I will acknowledge that it wasn't my fault. And I will encourage others that what happens to them isn't their fault either. I know that what I do will bring smiles to others, especially those who have went through the same things I've went through. And no matter the pain, there will always be a silver lining.

Yes, I like to smile, but it's not to hide the pain. I like to smile because I know that I've conquered it and that I helped others conquer it too.

I cried myself to sleep that night. Not because of what happened to me, but what she went through and how she handled it in comparison to the pity parties I used to throw myself when I was back in high school. Out of all of the lessons that I've learned during my time here, I think that this was the one that really showed me that there were others that were far worse than I believed myself to be. Not only that, but that they knew how to come out of their trials and tribulations, fighting with a big smile plastered on their faces. True, not everyone was like that, but those kinds of people are strong.

That night was something I needed to evaluate. But I'm just glad that everything that I went through is already over.

Of course, my nose still bleeds from time to time.

And it's not from the beating...

Can't I just write one short chapter? I swear I keep going overboard with these. Sorry about the delay and the downer chapter. Hope you enjoy the read.

It's been a month since the day I've managed to get into my first fight in Equestria. It's been a while since I had gotten into one of those, but I managed to find my world turned upside down with all the allegations made against me in court.

Yeah, that happened.

I was taken to court by the bastard who handed my ass on a silver platter. All on the account that I had, quote-unquote, sent out others to beat him down. So not only was I charged, but so was Maud, Blinkie and Inkie. And that's when the shit really hit the fan. When he mentioned those three, their father had gotten involved, showing the judge some pictures of what had happened to his youngest daughter by the plaintiff.

When I had saw the pictures in court, I was more than willing to be charged with an additional 'aggravated assault'. And when they had placed my pictures into the mix, the judge waived off the charges, stating that Inkie, Blinkie and Maud were all 'coming to the defense of a protected species'.

So after our charges were waived, they then charged Caramel with abuse, obstruction of justice (being that Pinkie was an Element Bearer at the time), threatening the life of a protected species, sexual assault, two counts of aggravated assault, bringing false charges into court, stalking and jaytrotting. By the end of this circus, I was battered down physically and mentally, I suffered from daily headaches and nosebleeds that came out of nowhere, Twilight sought after my medical needs on the daily and Caramel was sentenced to a composite forty-five years without parole.

To say in short, this past month had really been a downer on me. I've been caught up to my neck in press and interviews, had it up to my head with doctor's appointments and never had a moment's peace.

And to top it all off, I haven't had a good fap in ages.

I had awoken early in the morning, staring at my ceiling as I contemplated the various evens that had transpired in my five months of being in Equestria. From day one I had become a hermit, staying in my room because of my desire to stay disassociated with society. One week later, I had to walk around the town naked due to a wardrobe malfunction.

I knew that the ponies were completely used to being in the nude but what made it a culture shock for me was that I was not used to being apart of nudist society. That said, I was covering up every step of the way. And the moment that the ponies started seeing me in clothes, they felt uncomfortable because of the implications that clothing had provided... To their society, that is. My society sexualized clothes, but only when it was at bare minimum and revealing as much skin as possible. But start walking around the city of Austin naked, see if you don't get any odd or lustful looks before you get taken to jail.

But I come here and boom, nudity everywhere. There's literally armies of dicks and pussies marching up and down the street with only a subtle sway of their tail to hide it all. This society was so desensitized to the aspect of being nude that wearing clothing became a fetish. The more you wore outside, the more they questioned what you were hiding. Then when you started to strip down to your undies, then they'd become massive horndogs. Strip any further and you'd be having sex right there. I guess that's the thing about being here, everyone at first saw me as a complete tease. But since then, when I've shown myself to wear clothes on the regular, the amount of odd looks I received had started to dwindle.

And with the massive media circus that happened this past month, I ended up becoming a sort of model for Rarity clothes. Tabloids ran rampant with articles of what I was wearing, or questioned how I could wear such suggestive clothing. I wore a pair of shorts with a t-shirt and the whole nation was clamoring for more. I had started to get some rather confusing fan-mail about how kinky it was that another species was wearing such immoral attire in public.

But to be fair, only Ponyville was widely aware of my existence and had gotten used to it.

After but a few days, I had started to get some rather disturbing mail from various mares and stallions, saying what they wanted me to wear next, what they wanted to do to me if they had paid me a visit, how bad they wanted to see me naked. It was flattering... but unnerving. Since then, Twilight had made a royal decree that all mail of the aforementioned nature were to cease and that all current letters in the pile would be burned.

Which led me to yet another one of my more, for lack of a better word, outstanding issues.

There was no porn, there was no internet, there is a town full of sentient equines who exhibited as wide of an array of emotions as humans and could express their consent to engage in more explicit acts, they walked around naked all day and there was a mare-to-stallion ratio of about four-to-one.

It's been five months since I've even gotten off. And my time was dedicated to six mares of the opposite sex. Hell, just last month I managed to find myself trying to take a peek of what hid behind Twilight's tail and I'm still getting nosebleeds from the thought.

I know she's a different species... but desperation can make a man do some shit.

For the past five months, I woke up with raging semis and have yet to find any time to combat the issue. In the mornings, I'm running off to run some errands with the girls. Now add the sexual tension I get from being associated with that of the opposite sex and multiply that by six. And by the end of the day, after I get home, I only have enough energy to make it back into the bed. After I hit the bed, that's it. I'm too tired to even focus on jerking that I'd sometimes nod off and wake up about fifteen minutes later, holding my flaccid dick. So after all of that, I finally surrender and go to sleep. And then the cycle repeats itself.

They say that insanity is defined as doing something perpetually and hoping to yield a different result from the previous failures. Well, I can gladly assume that I will get this right one day and that I will, for the first time in 5 months, bust a nut. Starting now.

So here I lay, my dick standing proud and tall like a mighty obelisk erected in defiance of the land around it. My hand slowly inching towards my lower abdomen. Teasing myself, I lightly tickled the ridges of my abdominals. Witnessing my body's response, I see that my erection twitched a bit, swaying for a brief second before becoming dormant once again.

If I'm going to do this, then I'm at least going to make this jerk the best damn jerk I've ever had.

Quietly moaning, my hand inched closer towards the ridge of skin that sank into my pelvis. I started to imagine-

Myself killing whoever was at this damn door.

Deciding to ignore the person at the door, I decided to concentrate on the matter at hand. My body tingled with anticipation as my hand slowly-

Closed itself into a fist and quickly slammed into the mattress I laid on top of.

Deciding to wait a bit to see if there was going to be another knock, I had started to find myself growing out of my mood. After about a few seconds, I had came to the conclusion that whoever was at the door had left. Continuing on, I rested myself once more and began where I had left off. Closing my eyes, I could see-

Myself writhing in agony as I threw a pillow over my head in frustration. "THE FUCK!?! Who is it!?" I screamed, muffled underneath the pillow.

"Now Ah don' told y'all about that swearin' nonsense, didn't Ah?" Applejack chided from behind the door.

I just... I just wanted to fucking beat my meat in the morning. Is that too much to ask for? "Arrrgh... sorry." I groaned out angrily.

"Look, we just wanted to invite you out! If you had plans-" Rainbow Dash sounded off before I had cut her short.

"If you two are going to do some sort of competition, I am not judging jack sh-" I didn't wanna hear Applejack's mouth. I was in no mood for it. "...ship."

"Actually," I heard a light, whispery voice that resembled Fluttershy call out to me. "We were going to go out for a picnic. And there's no need to feel left out. You won't be the only guy there."

Following her was a snobbish, crackly voice that definitely belonged to Discord. "Fluttershy dear, I really don't think it's anywhere near necessary to speak about him being with other guys."

"Well, I for one can simply say that it would benefit him greatly if he was to have an accompanied male presence for once, considering that he's been so raveled up with the six of us mares." Rarity added.

"Well yes, I can completely understand your outlook on the situation, Rarity. But what I can't seem to understand is the fact that this door is still closed. Perhaps I should alleviate that situation for us."

My eyes opened wide as I pulled my head from underneath the pillow and covering myself with the sheets. "Don't you dare break down that door!"

"Break it down? Ha! I was merely suggesting that the wooden fellow would so kindly remove itself from it's hinges and walk off."

Knowing this guy, that was a definite possibility. "No, not that either!"

"I'm going to do it!"

"NO!"

"Discord!" Fluttershy exclaimed sternly.

"Oh poo. I won't do it then."

I finally felt myself become relieved at a possible disaster being averted. If he had done what he wanted, then that door would've been halfway across town by now. But what had happened next was just as bad.

"Whee!"

Suddenly out of nowhere, my door broke wide open, letting in a blink blur that stopped at a dime on top of me while I was still in bed. Pinkie Pie had entered the room like a high speed battering ram. "Morning, Nondie! How ya feeling this morning? Are you excited for what we've got planned? Are you? Are you? Because I know that I'm excited and I definitely wanna spend some time with my favorite human!"

"I'm the only one you know." I deadpanned as I hid myself underneath the covers.

Giggling and snorting, she gave me a long, gripping hug. "I know. But I just can't thank you enough for what you've done for me just recently. I could remember it like it was sometime last month-"

"Pinkie, can you please-" No... You stay down. No boner. Not now. Not... DAMMIT!

"Ooh! And little Non-non wants to say hello to Pinkie too!"

The shit I put up with. "Pinkie, I need some time to get dressed."

The pink pony that stood over me turned red as she thought about me dressing into some clothes. Instantly, she backed away from me, leaping off the bed and letting me finally regain some of the air she managed to squeeze out of me. "Sorry! So sorry!"

"Pinkie Pie..." I heard Twilight call out from the hallway with a correctional tone. "What have I told you about barging into someone's room?"

"But Twilight, Discord had already knocked."

"Out. Now." Twilight ordered as she levitated the pink mare out of the room and ushering the others further down the hall. After doing so, she came back to close the door...

Only she didn't exit the room.

"Um... Twi."

Blushing, Twilight turned away from me so that she didn't get a glimpse of what I was hiding. "Look, I'm not gonna be in here for long. I'm here to apologize about the mess from this past month."

"You're fine."

"No. I'm not. This was completely embarrassing. I even had to clear up the mess that the tabloids made about me having you as some sort of stock-colt."

I quirked an eyebrow, unsure of what she was talking about.

"Stock-colt. You know, a colt or stallion used for relieving purposes; a consort."

"Oh!" Well that's a bit awkward. "Oh... oh, well... um... okay."

"I just want you to know that you aren't some sort of animal, nor are you a servant of any kind. You're my friend... and I want to keep it that way."

"Oh. Okay." I answered plainly.

"What's wrong?" She asked me, starting to give all of her attention to me.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong." I clarified.

"You sure?"

"Yeah! I'd be more than happy to be your friend. I just thought we were like that from the start."

Twilight started to prod at the ground below her. "Well... I kinda wanted to know something... Are you happy?"

I scoffed at her question, thinking that it was rather silly of her to question my state of happiness right now. "Yes. Why you wanna know?"

"...It's nothing." She said after a moment's hesitation.

"No, speak up."

"It's fi-"

"Speak." I insisted, hoping that she'd tell me what was on her mind.

"...So as you know, it will be another three months before the portal to your world opens up. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have taken over the project entirely since Cadance is busy handling the political affairs of Equestria. And I'm busy with my own overseeing of the internal matters of the state as well as looking after you. This past month may have placed me back a few weeks, but I'm still able to handle everything. As far as you... I've started thinking..."

She left me hanging for a second. I had to nudge at her to get her to continue. "About?"

"...Oh, sorry. Zoned out there. But I was thinking... maybe..."

I offered to speak, but instead she summoned up a scroll with the royal seal emblazoned upon it. I took the parchment and read what it consisted of. To my complete shock, I had come up to a part that should've caught my attention as soon as I had unfurled the scroll.

We hereby acknowledge Nondis P. Haines as a legally declared citizen of Equestria under the process of naturalization.

Stunned, I looked back over to Twilight.

"You weren't supposed to know about this, but I've already gotten the signatures of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance and my own. All you need to do is sign where it says your name at the bottom, and you're an official member of Equestrian society. You'll be one of us."

"Twilight, where did this-"

"I've started on it since the second month you've been here. After that night I had gotten really... inebriated."

The night my shirt was filled with chunks of her dinner. She's been planning this since then? "Wow. So... you're... inviting me-"

"To stay." Twilight finished as she played with her hooves, looking at me nervously.

"...I... I can only say that I've really appreciated my stay here. But..."

Twilight head dropped slightly, though her ears had shown her sadness more than anything else. "I understand."

Wanting to clarify my reasons, I carried onward. "It's not you guys. I love it here. Really, I do. There's nothing more that I would like to do than to stick around a little more. But I do have a family... Not one of my own, but a mother and father, an older brother who's getting married pretty soon, a younger brother who's going to his junior prom this year... a friend I really need to apologize to."

"I get it." She said as she levitated the scroll away from me, poofing it out of existence. "But the option is still available if you ever happen to change your mind."

I got out of the bed and walked up to Twilight, giving her a tender hug. "Twilight, you're fine. And I appreciate what you've done for me up till now."

"Nondis..."

"I really mean that."

"No, Nondis. What are you wearing?" She asked me sheepishly.

Looking back to myself, I saw that I was still wearing nothing but boxer briefs on. I was just lucky to hide myself while Twilight had shifted the others out into the hallway. But it was still embarrassing for her to hug me while I was so underdressed.

"Whoops! Sorry." I said as I jumped off of her. Looking to cover up, I ran back towards the bed and grabbed the sheets and conceal myself.

Twilight was just stuck in place as her entire body seemed to have changed into a lighter shade of purple. Her wings stood out as she fidgeted and twitched, stuck in zone.

"Twilight?" I called out to her, finally snapping her out of her daze.

"...I'm gonna go now."

"I'm gonna get dressed now."

Twilight bolted out of the room, slamming the doors behind her. "Be ready in two minutes."

Shortly after the morning's usual embarrassment, the girls, Discord, Spike and I made our way down the road and to Ponyville Central Park. And after our arrival, we had set up our spot and sat on a large blanket that Rarity had made in her spare time. Applejack had brought some rather delicious apple-based goods to the picnic. Pinkie had brought a few games for us to play among a basket of balloons, that only floated away as soon as she sat it on the ground. Rainbow Dash drug a cloud from above and used it as a makeshift couch, Fluttershy had brought her hellspawn... I mean pet, Angel Bunny, whom I appropriately call Lucifer. Twilight carried something that resembled a diary with her while Spike brought over some chocolate chip cookies he made.

And then Discord gave one life as I chomped into it, causing it to scream in utter agony.

After we had decimated the food and finished goofing around for hours at a time, the nine of us relaxed and looked to Twilight, who opened the large journal.

"Okay girls, you know what time it is."

Feeling like the odd-one out, I felt that it was necessary to know what exactly she was talking about. "Time for what?"

"Well, doi!" Pinkie mocked. "This is the time where we read each other's personal thoughts on our time together. Nothing about friendship lessons, nothing about saving the world..."

Rarity continued from where Pinkie left off. "This is all about bonding with one another on a more personal level."

"What it also helps us do is to be aware of one another's personal thoughts, good or bad." Fluttershy added.

"Nothin's left'n the dark." Applejack stated.

"No secrets kept from each other." Rainbow Dash said as she rose off of her cloud couch.

"And if there was something wrong, we'd start to talk about how we could resolve the issue. And we'd support each other each step of the way." Twilight finished.

Honestly appalled at the possibility of going through each other's personal lives, I felt myself instinctively cringe at the possibilities of what could be disclosed. "Wait a second! We don't need to hear about everyone's more... intimate problems."

The others just looked amongst each other before bursting into a laugh, leaving me perplexed.

"No, that's not the case at all." Discord corrected as he poofed in behind me, flicking my ear down. The next thing I heard was something that sounded similar to a toilet flush in my head. "I think you need to get your mind out of the gutter."

While I waived him away from me, Twilight clarified what was really the deal with that book she held. "No. It's more of anything we want to share with each other. Funny stories, serious moments, stuff that's safe to read around foals. Anything really sensitive doesn't get recorded in this."

"So you're still going through each other, but at the same time, the more personal thoughts are kept secret."

Pinkie giggled. "Yeah, but that's where the real fun starts."

And now they have my attention. "...I'm interested."

"It's a sort of game, if you will. Though our thoughts have to be free of illicit content, we still leave up to question of some of the juicy details of the journal." Rarity happily squeed.

"And the writer is kept anonymous, not even writing the names of those involved or the signature of the author of the entry." Fluttershy added in a low voice.

"An' the entire group has only one guess to get it right, or else it's saved up till next month." Applejack added to further my knowledge of the rules.

A fun little game of secrets and we all have only one try to figure it all out. "Oh. I see now. You vote as a group on who it was who wrote the entry."

"Precisely!" Spike happily confirmed as he opened the journal to a random entry. "And as usual, I will be reading entries as a means of fair play."

"Don't you write any entries, Spike?" I inquired.

"No, but I am there when they are written. Only to make sure that they don't go back and try to edit or read the passages. So with that being said, let's get started."

"Wait, so you know who wrote what, right?"

Spike rolled his eyes at my question. "I don't look when they write the passages. Yes I do know that each one of them comes by to write one, but I don't know what they write, being that I don't stand over their shoulders when they do. So it's left up to interpretation.

"And as an added bonus, you can throw off the entire group if you know it was you who wrote it. If you can successfully persuade the group from knowing it was you, then you're spared until the next time." Rainbow Dash explained further.

This game just got a little difficult.

"But before we start, we must adhere to the tradition of the game. Whoever's entry is correctly guessed, must truthfully and honestly come before everypony, saying the word 'shamed'. That pony must then explain their story. All under the oath of the sacred Pinkie Promise."

In unison, the entire group of girls followed a series of motions as they chanted their mantra.

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

An interesting little twist to what I've come to know as 'Cross my heart, hope to die'. But then again, their's does sound a little more friendly to the ear. I guess I could settle with that.

After an hour, the girls and Spike have trudged through about nine entries, two of them being the anonymous. The first anonymous entry was stating their contempt for someone in the market that embarrassed them so openly. Shamed out, Fluttershy explained about a particular incident where she found herself so humiliated by a pony who charged her twenty bits for a cherry. Since then, her kindness had been very extensive to others, but becoming limited to that one guy. Pinkie and Rarity fully understood what was going on, as they were there to witness it. Eventually, she finally realized that holding on to a grudge like that, especially to someone so pitiful as him, was not going to change anything, if not make things worse. Finally putting the incident in the past, Fluttershy hugged the others. Meanwhile, Discord seemed to have wandered off somewhere. Probably in search of the guy in the entry.

I sure hope he takes his sweet-ass time.

The second entry was something that involved a date. She found the stallion as a pretty good friend and amazing companion. But her interests weren't in stallions at all. Shamed out, Rainbow Dash stood out and explained that she had went on a date with a guy named Thunderlane. Her only issue is that she didn't have a romantic interest in the guy. As she went further to discuss what had happened, she openly admitted that she just didn't find ponies attractive.

Quite an odd quality to have. I wonder what she does have an interest in.

As for now, the day had started to show signs of surrender to that of the night. The sun started to set into the sky and the clouds turned from white to shades of red, pink, orange and yellow. The six ponies were starting to feel themselves become a little more exhausted.

"Hoo-wee! Ah've had my share of fun!" Applejack said as she packed her belongings.

"Leaving already?" Fluttershy asked. "We still have one more entry to read."

"Yeah! I wanna know what's next!" Rainbow Dash said as she casually hovered in the air.

"Go on, Spike. Read the next entry. We'll call it quits after that." Twilight advised as she summoned up yet another journal. Instead, this one had all of the cutie marks of the girls arranged around hers and a golden horseshoe. I know that I see her with it every now and then, plus I see it lying around the palace sometimes. Usually, I'd just take it to her and tell her not to be so clumsy with it.

"Hey Twi." I called out. "What's with that book? Is it another journal for the game?"

The purple princess shook her head. "Actually no. This is our Friendship Journal, where we record some of our most valuable life lessons inside of it. And as for the bookmarks, they notate key areas where each of us have learned a valuable, life-changing lesson that we've managed to pass on to others."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Oh. I guess that's cool."

"You know, I'm surprised." Twilight said.

"Why?"

"The six of us have made our own entries, Spike has managed to make a few, Discord and the Cutie Mark Crusaders have even jotted down maybe one or two. But I can't seem to find any entries from one pony in particular... or should I say one person."

Blinking with bewilderment, I tilted my head and pointed to myself. "Me? Write an entry?"

"You didn't think I had left this lying around for you to see it just because I forgot about it. I was hoping that one of the times you've returned it to me, you'd actually write something."

"But... I..."

"Haven't you learned anything while you were here in Equestria? It's been five months."

"N-No." I stuttered. "I-I learned a lot. A hell of a lot, pardon the language. It... It's just that I didn't know that I was supposed to be writing in it."

Twilight sighed haplessly. "Well when you get back to the castle, I'll sit you down and have you write out an entry. Deal?"

"Sure, I guess so."

Spike cleared his throat, making sure that he had all of our undivided attention. As soon as we all looked to him silently, he started to read the final entry.

"Anonymous entry. I've started to become more interested in him as the days went by. The way he speaks to others as if he didn't have a care in the world, his sense of humor, his laugh, his smile, his touch. Our every union seems to grow us even closer. I know that he sees me as something different from what I am, but we both know that our hearts, different in their designs, is that we want to explore what it means to break the barriers of being of a different species. I know what I feel. And I pray to Celestia that he feels the same way."

My jaw dropped at the confession made to me. I felt my chest pound at the speed of sound, nearly rocketing into my throat as I choked on my response. My words became a noose tied around my neck, suffocating me as I tried to find the right words to cut me loose from this silence.

The six mares blushed loudly as they all looked to me, then to each other. After a moment of silence, they had started to deliberate on who said what. Spike seemed to have grown a bit quiet as well from reading that passage. I was still petrified. As the conversation started to grow louder, I felt my chest burning, unsure on who could say a thing. I mean, I knew that a primary candidate for that would have to be Pinkie Pie, considering what had happened a month ago.

But that's just the problem. That entry could've been written from over a month ago. And if that was anything to go by, then it would definitely be Twilight.

Did she just start this game to confess her love for me?

"Time's up!" Spike shouted, startling me out of my line of thought. "It's time to vote. Who do you think was the author of that passage."

The worst thing about it was that they had only one chance to get it right. And even then, the person could throw everyone else off-track. That said, they could easily shift the blame to someone else.

But then I had realized, Fluttershy and Discord were different. Considering that he was made of many animals, Discord also became a suspect of being the subject to romance. And then there's Spike, who's a dragon and could be seen as adorable, in a creepy, I-need-an-adult kind of way. All three of us weren't exactly ponies. Plus there was the revelation from earlier that Rainbow Dash didn't have an interest in the equine species. The possibilities are endless.

Though it is safe to rule Spike out on this one.

The six mares grew silent and stood expressionless. "We have come to a decision." Fluttershy whispered.

And here's the part where they could throw someone under the bus.

"...Twilight Sparkle." The five other mares rang in unison.

I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT WAS HER THE ENTIRE TIME!

Twilight looked at the ground, not even daring to look in front of her, where I stood. "...I didn't write that. My shame has yet to be revealed."

Suddenly, all the elation I felt had tail-spun into a corkscrew and crashed head-first into the ground, erupting into a ball of flames. I didn't know why I had felt crushed, I just did.

"Non-Non, are you okay?" Pinkie asked me, walking up to me.

"Yeah. I'm fine. That was all just a tad-bit suspenseful. I was hoping that we could see who it was that liked who."

Fluttershy flew over and gave me a brief hug. "It'll be alright. To be honest, we never gotten two right in one go like today. If anything, we should be proud."

"Plus, we've got until next month to find out. You could always find out who it was in between readings." Rainbow stated as she started to fly towards her end of town.

"It is getting rather late. I suppose that will be all for today." Twilight said as she finally looked away from the ground.

I just quietly said my own goodbyes before starting my way home. As I proceeded to walk away, the other grabbed my attention.

"Nondis, could you be a gentlecolt and help me fold my blanket?" Rarity asked as she grabbed one end of the red and white checkered sheet.

Quietly, I complied with her request. Shortly after, I started to follow after Twilight. While she said her goodbyes, I had noticed that Discord had recently shown back up, earning a discerning look from Fluttershy. He threw his arms in the air and shrugged before they too started to make the long journey home. Spike had volunteered to escort Rarity to her place, leaving me with Twilight alone.

We never talked on our walk home.

After a bit, I've finally found myself laying in my bed, quietly thinking about what had happened in the park. Why was I so excited to think that Twilight had actually liked me? I mean, I sorta like her, but not enough to be with her, I think. Or maybe I was wrong. Maybe I do like her. Is it because of the fact that she had resembled Melanie so much? Her intellect, her cunning, her snark, her optimism, the way she worries about the little things. But she wasn't nearly as funny as she was. Maybe I was starting to see her in Twilight and have started to grow to her as a response. If that's the case, then I can't go any further than friendship with her. At that point, I'd be seeing Melanie rather than Twilight.

Why did our relationship go so wrong?

Right, I had aspirations to join some fraternity, wore a dress and a g-string all during Hell Week, I was made to kiss her feet in front of my frat brothers and she had a fit over what I was doing. Words were exchanged and I had said something I didn't mean to say. Since then, I haven't seen or heard from her.

I forsook a friendship that could've turned into something better with time, all for wanting to be popular for the first time in my life. I took the blue pill and wanted to live an awesome college fantasy instead of facing the reality of what I was and who I was.

Yeah, I made a huge mistake.

A soft knock sounded at my door as I stared to my ceiling. "Who is it?"

"It's Twilight."

Feeling a bit lazy, as well as insecure, I stayed in my bed, calling back out to her. "What's up?"

I heard a frustrated scoff at the door. "Look, can you just come here?"

Taking a deep breath, I decided that it was time for me to face her again. Walking to the door and opening it just a crack, I peeked outside and saw the lavender alicorn standing before me.

"What's going on?"

"I should be asking you that. Sneaking around doors and whatnot..." She paused to see that my body was well hidden behind the wooden door. "Are you... naked?"

I opened the door wide to reveal that I was still in the same clothes I wore since the picnic. "Does this answer your question?"

Twilight sighed in relief as I stepped into the hall. "I was about to say. Well, follow me."

She started making her way down the hall, leaving me to wonder where she was going. "Um..."

"You, mister, have an entry to write in my Friendship Journal." She said as she telekinetically pressed me forward.

After only a minute or two of walking, we had stopped in front of her doors. In my case. It was the first time I had come here since the time Twilight took a bottle of liquor to the head and gotten herself shit-faced.

It would've been funny if it wasn't for the fact that she was very depressed about Flash rejecting her.

Opening the door, she waited for me to enter. "Journal's on my writing desk. You can feel free to write anything you want."

I walked in and looked over to the other side of the room, where a small desk with a quill and a tiny cup of ink awaited. The book laid open on an empty page.

"Hey just one question before I begin."

"Yes." She said as she closed the door behind her.

"Why are we doing this in your room, where we could've easily done this in mine?"

"Because every time I'm in your room, something awkward happens. Plus I needed to talk to you about something."

I sat myself at the desk, starting to twiddle with the quill. "Is it about the thing from this morning?"

"No. It's not. You've clearly expressed your desire to return, so I will not stand in your way."

"Then what is it about?"

Twilight gave me a playful smirk before levitating the cup of ink below the quill I toyed with. "How about I tell you after you finish writing your lesson."

With a childish groan, I felt myself revert back to the days where I was in grade school doing homework. "Yes, mom."

While she chuckled and stood over my shoulder, she watched my hand as it traced out each letter. The intricate, yet subtle strokes of my hand seemed to piqued her interest.

"I just don't understand how you write with those. Hands are so floppy and flimsy."

"I don't see how you can write with your mouth. You'd get drool and shit all over the paper." I shot back as I continued to write about one of my times here in Equestria, more namely, my first party.

"One, I am not a foal in training. We know how to write without drooling on the paper. It's something we've learn to do with time and training. Two, I'm a unicorn by birth, which means that my penmanship is very neat and legible because of my magic."

"So? You still drooled on the desk when you have to write with your mouth. The worst you can do with hands is scribble."

"Shut up and keep writing!" Twilight said, sounding defeated and annoyed.

So I guess that point goes to me.

As I finished with my passage, I signed my name while Twilight gave me a cheer. Rolling my eyes, I looked back to her. "There, miss teacher. I finished my homework."

A small giggle escaped her lips as she picked up the book and started reading. "I can't wait to read what you've put down."

What I actually wrote: In my time here in Equestria, I've learned that when others do you a major favor, your best option is to humbly accept what they did and to give appreciation. I remember where- Blah blah blah.

What I wanted to write: What I've learned in band camp is...

While she seemed invested into what I jotted down on paper, I was still interested in what she had wanted to talk to me about. "So..."

"So what?"

"You were talking about something that you wanted to say to me when I've finished."

Watching the purple mare jump in surprise, she reorganized her thoughts. "Oh right. Well, I was wondering about your headaches. Did you have any more of them today."

To be honest, I had a few and they weren't that bad. At least not as bad as the first few days where I couldn't even look at white paper. Which added to my misfortune when I had found out about my getting sued. "No. Not anything substantially bad."

"And your nosebleeds? I know you had one at the picnic when we had started to play some of Pinkie's games."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? I mean, I could-"

"Twilight." I walked over to her, hoping to stop her from being neurotic about my health. "I am no worse than I was when I first got here."

"Yeah, you say that. But I just want to make sure."

Joking around, I poked her in her side. "Really? So how would you feel if I was going to start poking around your personal business?"

She giggled as she politely pushed me off. "I'd be fine with it. Just as long as it doesn't get too personal."

"Yeah, but how about if I did it everyday?" I asked, repeatedly poking her everywhere my hands could get to.

As she started to back away, she started to laugh a little louder. "Nondis, okay! Stop, I'm ti..."

At that moment, I knew what she was going to say. She knew what she was going to say and stopped before it had fully gotten out. But it was too late now to avoid it. I was going to take advantage of every sensitive spot she had.

Leaping over to her, I lightly brushed my fingers against her hooves and at the base of her wings, tickling her as she wiggled and pleaded me to stop. "You gonna stop worrying about my headaches?"

The purple pony princess giggled as she tried to worm herself out of my reach. "Cut it o-ahah-out! Hahahaha! I can't bre-hehehe-athe!"

"No mercy for the nosy princess!" I shouted back as she continued to struggle against me. Twilight was on the verge of tears, a few of them starting to unknowingly streak off of her face. Her hooves playfully kicked and flopped as I continued to punish her.

"Hahaha! I command you-hahahaha-to get off of me-hehehe!"

"Make me!" I shot back, still taking advantage of the space under her wings.

Twilight then stopped laughing and levitated me off of her and raised me up. As I was about to get back up, she tackled me and laid me back down. She stood breathlessly over me, eyeing me with a vengeful glare. I attempted to move myself, but found that my arms and legs were bound by her magic. At this point, I knew I had fucked up.

"I'm gonna make your regret that!"

Since then she started to poke me in my nose with her hoof. "Boopies!"

Dammit, Twilight. Quit being cute. "Ah! Stop!"

"No mercy for the invasive human!" She stated, happily pressing my nose like a button. "Boopie. Boopie. Boopie."

Shifting my entire body weight, I found myself able to press against her, booping her back with my nose to her muzzle. Instantly, I felt the bonds on my arms and legs become loosened and I took the liberty of holding her still.

"Ha! I got you now!"

She didn't say anything. She didn't respond. She just stared back at me with a rather empty look. Her face seemed to have turned pinker as she looked down and away from my eyes. I had figured that something was wrong.

"Twilight, you okay?"

She answered me quietly. "I... I..." Finally getting her thoughts together, she spoke. "I didn't write that last journal entry."

Confused, I wanted to ask what she was going on about. "Twilight, what are you even-"

"But I really wanted to."

Caught completely off my guard, I felt myself pressed towards the floor as a pair of purple lips unexpectedly sank into mine. Her soft lips nearly crushed mine as she sought my response. The sweet scent of lavender filled my nostrils as she inched me back down to the floor. With every inch I fell, her push became desperate. And when my back became laid to the floor, I gasped quietly, unwittingly opening my mouth.

Our lips separated long enough for her to catch a quick breath before assaulting me yet again. This time, her lips pried mine open, allowing her tongue to seek mine out. A simple touch of our tongues and it seemed to have brought her back into the reality of what was done. Leaping off of me, she trotted off to the other side of the room.

"Oh my goodness. I-I didn't. I... It was a mistake. I shouldn't have. We... You... Me!"

I didn't care for what she had to say. I walked over to her, greedily cupping her jaw as I lunged back at her. Baited breaths grew between us as the heat of the room started to make us sweat. The excitement of kissing who we wanted, the release of the tension that nearly sucked the air out of us, knowing that we were different species and how wrong it was, we just wanted to see.

A juvenile curiosity with a much more adult desire.

Our kiss broke, leaving a panting Twilight and a lust-driven me to stand in the middle of the room. She shuddered and trembled as I held her close in my grasp. "We... We kissed." She said, stating the obvious.

"I know."

"We weren't supposed to." She sounded completely mortified, as if she had committed a heinous crime.

Deep down, I knew that I was just as scared as she was. I told her the one thing that kept me from running. "We aren't supposed to do a lot of things. Does that mean we shouldn't?"

"Yeah. R-research. H-human a... anatomy. Ph-phys...physiology." She tried to come up with whatever answer she needed to feel more comfortable. "Kissing releases chemicals in the brain that releases endorphins, which in turn will stimulate the-"

"Do you want to kiss me again?" I asked plainly.

"Yes." She answered without hesitation, even as she drove her lips into mine. But only for a quick second because of her fear trying to rationalize with pleasure. Releasing the prolonged peck, she gazed at my lips with a lost expression. "Slightly smaller than mine. Tongue is definitely the same length, but a lot narrower."

"Do you want another kiss?" I asked as I slowly slid my hand from the center of her back to the side of her cutie mark, just barely touching her.

"Yes. I do. For science?"

I silenced her words with a tongue shoved into her mouth. She deepened our kiss even further by separating the two of us and tugging on my lip with her teeth. As I drove to pull away from the slight pain, she pulled me back in, causing me to meet back with her. A soft moan leaves the princess' lips. "Bed."

"What?" I questioned, unsure on what she had said.

"Bed!" She shouted, magically tossing me onto her sheets.

The scene that played out was quite familiar to the time she questioned me last month about what I had managed to catch a glimpse of. This time, she seemed to have deviated away from nervousness and more into ambition. As I landed, she teleported on top of me, smiling at me. Her eyes glanced lower, barely brushing a hoof against the tightness inside of my pants.

I never felt so aroused.

My hand slid from her waist to the firm, toned cheeks of her flanks. A long gasp was drawn from her as my fingers dared to slide underneath the base of her tail. Continuing to tease her, I traced the ridges around her moistened nethers, making her squeak.

"Nondis, no!" She quietly cried out.

Unaware of what she had said, I had brought my fingers inward. My digits had started to wipe the moisture of her arousal off of her chastity rings that sealed her off. Being careful, I slid a finger inside. Twilight arched her back, losing all of her breath as pleasure shot throughout her body. Shuddering, she sank even lower against me.

"Nondis... no... please." She trembled between gasps of air.

Slipping my fingers from inside of her, her face filled with shock. "You want me to stop?"

She didn't say anything as her horn lit up, grasping around my wrist to prevent me from leaving her.

"You wanna keep going?" I asked her.

She gave no answer as her body started to rock against my hand, coating it in her juices as she stared back at me. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she greedily took my finger for a ride. Her body started to rise slowly and fall. I tried my best to be careful with her chastity rings. She whimpered as a starved dog to a butcher, her desire for more became her incentive to keep coming back. A finger was all it took to send shivers down her spine.

Meanwhile, I felt myself becoming uncomfortable as my pants suppressed any further growth. In seeing this, Twilight, unzipped my pants and quickly pulled my throbbing erection through, giving it the freedom I so long desired. My body shook as her magic encircled my hardened length, slowly gliding up and down. The warm ring of energy did a lot more than what my hand could do as she nuzzled the entire length.

"Don't you dare stop." I whispered, praising her for her abilities. My body felt as if it was ready to explode as soon as she adjusted herself on top of me. Whining, she dared to remove her chastity rings and throw them on the night stand. Finally, she sat on top of my twitching form, slowly rubbing every bit of me against her swollen slit. Her ministrations became an agonizing torture as we both felt ourselves wanting to take the next step.

My erection became smothered in her essence as I started to ooze out a thin coating of precum. Her grinding became more persistent and I had started to thrust into her as she slid back and forth. I wanted to be inside of her so much, and from her painful cries, I could tell she was more than willing to part ways with the one thing her rings had kept locked away.

"Fill me."

I opened my eyes to see that Twilight had stopped moving altogether. Despite her weight still providing a pleasurable experience, I desired more from her. But I knew that my desire would have to come after hers.

"Fill me. Right now. This instant." She commanded.

Twilight raised her hips, starting to align herself with me. I chanted in my head a slew of profane words I wanted to say to her as she rubbed her soaked lips against me. I couldn't take much of it anymore.

"Are you sure?" I questioned as I started to slowly thrust upwards.

I felt my entire body tightened as she jolted upwards in response to my thrust. After that, I saw her lock her eyes to mine, her mane sweep my vision and her tongue nearly steal mine from my own mouth. Our separation left a thin bridge of saliva to connect our lips. Happily corresponding with her wishes, I lined myself to enter inside of her, my misses becoming somewhat of a tease to the both of us. Finally hitting target, I started to prepare myself for the ride I was going to endure. At long last, Twilight sank her body against mine, just barely inching in the tip.

Both me and Twilight jumped up at a moment's notice as we stared at the wide-open door. My chest sank as soon as I saw who it was that stood in the doorway.

"Twily, I heard crying! Are you..."

Silence ensued as Shining Armor stared at the two of us. Twilight leapt off of me and walked over to her brother, hoping to calm him down.

"Shining, it's not what you think."

Meanwhile, he stared swords into my body and the bed I laid on. I covered myself the best I could, only for him to rip the sheets off of me to see what exactly I was hiding from him. He looked to his younger sister, who shied away from him in disgrace. He then turned his attention to the slight glimmer of the chastity rings on the nightstand by the bed.

Angrily, he turned his head to the window and back to me. Kissing his teeth, he clopped his hoof against his leg, trying to sound as calm as possible.

"Yeah... We're gonna do this."

"Do what?" I asked stupidly.

A roll of his neck and a sickening cracking sound was the only answer I got.

I'm fucked.

~To be continued...

I'm fucked. I'm so fucked. And I don't mean that in a 'me getting laid' sense... Well, that was definitely gonna be a thing had it not been for Johnny swinging an ax at my bathroom door. Just to recap what had happened and what's going on now, Shining Armor, Twilight's older brother, had just caught me and Twilight in the act of taking it to home plate. The only thing that managed to stop me taking Twilight's virginity was that she leapt off of me while I was about to bury myself inside of her.

And right about now, the only burying that was going to go on was me going about six feet under. Or how ever many feet they used for equine standards.

"Shining, look. I can explain." Twilight said to her infuriated brother as he walked towards me.

I jumped out the bed walking to my left as I tried my best to put my dick back inside of my pants. "Hey, no need to-"

"I just caught you trying to deflower my sister. And last I checked, she was supposed to keep herself chaste." Shining stated as he still quickly walked over to me.

Trying to circle back to where I could back out of the door, I did my best to keep him distracted. "I'm sorry. Look, I know that this is bad, but I can assure you that-"

Shining saw through my plan and shut the door behind me, causing me to back into it. In a panic, I struggled to get it open while I could already feel his breath searing against my neck. "I don't need to be assured of anything. This is the second time I've caught you like this. The first time was when Twilight was about to kiss you, and now this."

"Twilight was drunk!" I defended. "And plus I didn't have an interest in her then."

"You... didn't?" Twilight whimpered quietly.

Me and my big, dumb mouth. Now I know I've said something that I'm gonna regret. "Look, Twilight. What I meant was-"

"Is that you didn't like me from the start? Is that what you're saying?" She said, starting to become somewhat aggressive towards me.

"NO! I like you. A LOT! You just don't know how close you've grown on me! I really, REALLY do like you now!"

"Oh, because my sister was about to give herself to you is when you say you like her? You're no different from the boys in the barracks. All for getting a mare so you could chase after tail." Shining intervened, standing in front of his younger sister.

"No! You're just assuming-"

"I'm assuming? No, I already know. I know what you wanna do. You wanna start with my little sister, thinking that you could just go start a harem of some sort."

"No that is not the point! She's much more than that?"

"Then who's to say that you haven't made yourself available to somepony else, just in case your efforts with my Twily were to fail?"

"It's not like that! I swear to you!"

"Prove it." Twilight mumbled, causing me and Shining Armor to look in her direction. "Prove to me that I am special to you."

My jaw clenched as I tried my best to come up with a quick answer aside from her being a princess. And the last thing I wanted to say was that she sort of remind me of my one true friend in the human world. To do that would be counterproductive towards my point. That was the last thing I needed to say.

"Twilight-"

"You said that there were far too many ways to count on how special I was to you. Now is your chance to prove it."

I cringed as the details of that one fateful evening came rushing back up, just like her previous meal came rushing back up to my shirt. Some of the things I had said because I was nervous of being around her based on the sole fact that she was drunk. Had I known that she'd grill me for what I said that night, I would've just left it at a simple yes. But now, my white lies had followed me back to here, and I didn't even remember half of what I had said. The first thing that came to mind was the first answer I gave.

"You... I have grown to admire you because of your... your..." Damn, dude! Don't fuck up now! "Uh... well..." I could feel my sweat pouring off of my forehead like water from a faucet. My throat grew dry. I had started to cough for no reason. My breathing grew staggered. I couldn't form a single, cognitive thought because my mind was so focused on an upset Twilight Sparkle, who seemed as if I had led her on. I felt fear because I knew from the moment her tears started to fall, would also be the moment that he started to pound me into a red mush.

"So I'm nothing, then?" Twilight finished while I still struggled to say something.

I really didn't want her to start crying. "Twilight... I can't put into words what I feel, okay. The thoughts I have and the words I speak are on levels so distant that they couldn't come to terms on what to execute. I... just couldn't tell you because... the words I use to describe you eludes me."

Shining's horn flared up as he took a step in between me and his sister. "Then how about I come up with a few words to say to you."

As his magic flashed before my eyes, I had found that my surroundings had changed entirely. Looking around me, I saw that I was back in my bedroom. And standing before me was none other than Shining Armor himself. Using his magic, he turned my head towards my bed.

"Do you see this bed?"

"Yes." I squeaked, fearing that he'd break my neck if I had said something out of place.

"That is your bed." He stressed angrily. "Which means that you are to stay in your bed. Not share one with my sister, not sleep in one with my sister, not have sex with her in ANY bed in general."

"I'm sorry." I weakly apologized as I started to feel his magic gradually squeezing my neck.

"Furthermore, she is a princess. So her chastity is not without reason. Princess Celestia has insisted that she'd stay pure until she meets with a stallion to marry. My mother also insisted on this concept since her foalhood so that she could focus more on her studies and not on colts. And you doing this had put one of her most sacred vows at risk."

"I'm... sor...ry..." His grasp on my neck began to cut off all of my air.

Walking up to me, he made sure that I could feel the breath fresh from his mouth as he whispered in my face. "So... that said, you stay the fuck away from my sister, or I will have you speared. Do I make myself crystal clear?"

"Eee... uuhh....urk!" My best attempt of speech was harshly snuffed out by a ring of magical energy. I wormed myself as I tried to find some means of obtaining air. Sadly, his arcane grip was far too strong for me. In seconds, I could see my world starting to fade into black. But not before Twilight had teleported into the room herself.

"Shining, what are you doing!?" She shouted to him, trying to pull his foreleg from under him. "Stop this!"

In the small tunnel of light I still had, I could see the cold menacing glare of the Captain of the Guard, carving it's way into my very being. He clinched his teeth and growled as he continued to tighten his grip on me.

"SHINING, STOP! YOU'LL KILL HIM!!!" I heard Twilight shout at the top of her lungs as my body started to go limp. My eyes rolled as I started to resign myself to unconsciousness. The princess still screamed at her brother, almost crying even. "SHINING, DON'T DO THIS!!! PLEASE!!!"

Finally breaking eye contact, he released the grappling ring around my neck, granting me with the gift of the air. I drew in a long, guttural breath, collapsing to the ground below. Coughing and gagging, I welcomed the oxygen back into my lungs. My vision had started to return to me as I took more breaths.

"Twilight, I don't want you being so close to him. He's not even our species." He stated to his younger sister, looking at me with condemnation.

The princess gasped, appalled at the words her brother spoke. "What? Are you even listening to yourself!?"

"I understand that you want to be his friend. But he's not staying here and he's not gonna spend anymore time than he has to!"

"That's not true."

"So he's staying now?"

"I... no... he-"

"Then restrict your time with him."

"Shining-"

"Your duty to him is solely to be his caretaker, not his lover. And I will be damned to see that my sister breaks her chastity vows with something that isn't even equine."

"Wh-what does it matter to you!? It's my vow to break. And plus you may be Captain of the Guard, Prince of the Crystal Empire, but this is my jurisdiction! Ponyville and it's citizens are under my care!"

"He's not even a citizen! And furthermore, you're my little sister. That said, you are my jurisdiction!"

Twilight almost sounded beaten as she started to back off of the argument. "I'm... not-"

Shining walked over to Twilight, lowering his voice to a calm, warm whisper. "You're my baby sister, the only one I have. I won't let you make this mistake. And I am a member of the guard just so that I could protect you. You remember what we promised to each other?"

Twilight looked over to me for a quick second before looking back to him. Her face filled with sadness. "That we'll protect each other, from dangers seen and unseen. But I can handle this."

His voice started to become stern again. "Twily-"

"I'll find a way to make things work. I'll find a way to make it where nopony gets hurt. I swear."

Still grasping at my throat, I stood up off of the floor. I made sure that I was slow so that I didn't alarm anyone. Still feeling a little raspy from the earlier attack, I spoke to Shining. "Look, I'm sorry. Things just got out of hand. What had happened back there, I'll take full responsibility for it."

"We'll take full responsibility for it." Twilight corrected as she stood in front of me.

Shining, still unconvinced at me, looked towards his younger sibling instead. "Twi, you know that you'll be punished for that."

Lowering her head, she confirmed her brother's words. "I understand. And it was my fault that I didn't say anything about my vows. I only explained to him that I was chaste for the purpose of my studies. Not only that, but I was the one to remove my rings. I actually came on to him... He didn't do anything."

Knowing that what she said was a lie, I offered to correct her. But I was silenced by a magical zipper sealing my mouth shut. Twilight gave me a quick scolding look before turning back to her brother, who still looked at me with disapproval.

"...This will never happen again." He said in a low voice. "Twily, let's go."

The sounds of hooves clopping against my floor is all I heard as I watched the bulky unicorn stallion walk out of the room. Twilight soon followed after, but not before stopping at my doorway to speak to me.

"Why don't you go explore the town? I'll need to take care of things here. And your being around will only provoke my older brother."

I sagely nodded in agreement, hoping that everything would work out between the two of them. "You're gonna be okay?"

"I'm fine. You?"

Clearing my throat, I was more than happy to still experience the air flowing in and out of my body. "I've had worse."

"I'm so sorry about Shining. It's just that-"

"TWILY!!!" We heard him shout from down the hall. Instantly, Twilight jumped at the sound of her brothers voice booming at her.

"Maybe later." She whispers before galloping down the hall, leaving me to my room.

I think I was going to take her up on her advice on leaving the palace. It definitely seemed like the best and safest option. To be hanging around a volatile Shining Armor, that was the last thing I wanted to do.

Taking my walk into the town, I had noticed that I still had a small amount of daylight left over. The sun was close to meeting with the horizon and I was as far away as possible from the castle. Looking around, I could see the various ponies making their ways off to their homes. Various vendors in the market have already started to pack up and leave. And I'm here trying to avoid going home for whatever reason. I needed something to distract myself while I waited for a decent hour to return back to the castle.

"Fuuuuuuuck... I'm bored." I droned out loud. At the very least I was bored and safe rather than entertained via an ass whopping from the princess' older brother. "There isn't much to do at this time of the day."

"I couldn't help but to overhear that you were in need of some light entertainment."

Oh hell, it's Discord. Well, at least this couldn't get any worse.

"So where are you hiding now?" I asked loudly, looking all around me.

"Look below." He answered, causing me to look at the ground. All I could see was a bird. But knowing Discord...

"Cut the bullshit. Why are you here?"

Discord, in the shape of a small bird, flew up to me and started to hover in place as he talked. "Well, I couldn't help but to overhear of your recent run-in with the Captain of the Guard."

Not surprisingly, he knew of my reason for leaving the castle. "Okay, little birdie. What else did you hear?"

"Oh, that's about it. I managed to listen in on when that brute, Shining Armor, was giving you a demonstration on the magical properties of unicorn gripping spells. And now you're wandering the streets in search of something to do with your new-found spare time."

He's not that far off though. "Okay. But that still doesn't explain why you were listening in on someone else's business."

Discord took a quick intake of air before he spoke. "Well, similar to you, I was left to wander the town. It seems that Fluttershy is very upset with me."

Cocking an eyebrow, I found myself trying to process Fluttershy being angry with Discord. If anything, she would normally give him a quick scolding rather than be angry at him. A very confusing revelation, indeed. "Upset? What did you do this time?"

"This time?" He asked, seeming offended as he transformed back into his original state.

"This time." I restated. "To be honest, you're always doing some shit. And I just so happen to be a new target for you to fuck with."

"Now now," He said as he patted me on the head. "You know what dear, old Applejack said about using such language."

"Question one: Is she here? No. Question two: Do I give a fuck? See answer to question one."

"Eh, I suppose I'll waste some of your time."

"Well get to it."

"It all started on a Saturday, at nine in the afternoon, when I drew my first breath in this world. From that very moment, I knew that my destiny was to-"

Facepalming myself, I interrupted his autobiography. "I said explain what had happened between you and Fluttershy, not give me your life story. If this damn story needed anymore character development, then I'm pretty sure that would occur in a later chapter."

"Yesh! No need for spoilers, Mr. Spoilsport."

So long fourth wall, hello dislikes and complaints in the comments.

Groaning loudly from Discord's annoying antics, I crouched down to bear with an uncomfortable headache. "Just tell me what's wrong." I said as I massaged my temples.

"Well... You remember that story about Fluttershy and that one vendor who embarrassed her in public and called her a doormat, correct?"

"Yeah. What about him?"

"I decided to pay him a visit."

Halting my massage, I turned my full attention to the draconequus. "...Carry on." I was genuinely interested in what he did to this guy. I wanted to know.

"I offered him a cherry. He immediately rejected me, calling me all sorts of names. I swear, you turn the streets into soap, make it rain chocolate milk from cotton candy clouds, flood a farm and try to take over all of Equestria with a power-hungry centaur and suddenly everypony starts chasing after you with pitchforks and torches."

"Just get to the fucking point, already."

Discord rolled his eyes as he waived me off. "Well, I know that Fluttershy would appreciate the intricate details of proper storytelling, but since you say so."

"Okay. Now back on track."

"So after his little rant, I decided to fill his entire plumbing system with cherries."

"Ingoing or outgoing?" I inquired.

"Both."

Sometimes, I was at war with myself over whether I should hate this guy or like him. But I gotta say, filling his plumbing full of cherries sounds like a pretty splendid idea. At least he can say that his shit does smell like... Oh fuck, that's funny. While I tried my best to remain stoic in the midst of suppressed volcanic laughter, Discord carried on with his story.

"So his pipes burst and now his entire home is left a mess. I told him that he shouldn't be such a doormat over the situation and he tried to punch me in the face. Me! I mean, who would want to punch this lovely grin?" He asked, smiling at me.

Being totally honest, I'd rate his face a good ten-of-ten. Would lovingly maul the shit out of it with a power sander and a chainsaw for good measure. "Weeelllll... Continue with the story."

"So when Fluttershy had gotten word of it on our way back to the cottage, thanks to him screaming at me from across the street, I managed to get a good talking to. And soon after, she had left me to find comfort elsewhere."

"Ouch." I had mumbled quietly, sympathizing with his current predicament.

"Yes. So my reason for lurking about is of the eviction variety. At least, in your case, it's more of a cool-down."

Yeah. Life can be a bitch, no matter how well she's dressed. "Wow. So what do you plan on doing now?"

"Well, I was actually on my way to the castle to speak with Twilight so that she could see about me spending the night. That's when I managed to overhear about your little situation."

I'm impressed. He actually had a legitimate reason for his trespassing. Under normal circumstances, I would expect him just to do it so he could have some useless gossip. But now, I could see that he was. in a literal manner as one Discord stood next to the other who was sitting down and blowing some tissues, quite beside himself.

"Do you have anymore tissue?" He asked.

Checking my pockets, I had found a small set that I would use in case of nosebleeds. "Here you go."

"Thank you so kindly, Nondis. I don't know what I would do without you."

Well, you could just go talk to Fluttershy... but that won't end well for either of them if he does that now. I had to think of a plan for Discord...

Oh God. I'm helping Discord. What in fresh prince of blue hell is this?

"So... what are you planning to do?" He asked me as I tapped a finger to my chin.

Shrugging my shoulders, I thought about heading over to Rarity's place. "How about the Carousel Boutique?"

The eldritch-like drake shook his head. "I'm afraid Rarity doesn't like me too much. She also caught wind of my antics and have placed me on a temporary ban from her shop. Why not the farm?"

And censor myself for the sake of someone else's hugbox-of-a-home? ¡No me gusta nada! "No thanks. I like my freedom of speech intact. And I can't fly, so Rainbow Dash is a no-go."

"So I guess..." That would leave Pinkie Pie. "...oh no."

"No is right."

"No."

"No no."

"No way in hell."

"Not tonight."

Chuckling a bit, I was amazed that we had managed to see eye to eye. "I like Pinkie and all, but she has a mouth that runs-"

"A million miles to every ounce of air."

"Yeah, that." And neither I nor he wanted to be talked to death by her. If anything, she was going to have us party all night... "That's it!"

"What am I missing?" Discord quietly asked me, seeming baffled at my sudden outburst.

"Discord... I know we may not always see eye to eye, but I know that Fluttershy is not one who can stay angry at you for very long. Meaning that she can hold a grudge doesn't mean that she can stay angry over what you did, especially if it was to that one guy." Because she's honestly giggling at the joke in between the lines. "So if you were to not go back, or go visit her..."

"She would miss me."

I know this is taking advantage of her personal fault of being kind, but if I was going to get Discord back into that cottage, I was the one who needed to play the shady guy in the dark alley. And if Twilight is neurotic towards me since she looks after me, then Fluttershy would be the same towards him.

That and we'd both be kept entertained for the remainder of the night.

"Yes, but what would we do all night? There isn't a single decent place open at this time of the evening."

Still thinking about how he managed to get himself into this situation, I decided that I should embrace my inner-deviant. There were plenty of ponies who would go out to restaurants for dating reasons. Tonight was no exception. There were three locations, two of us and all the time left in the world.

"Hey, let's go on a little... punking spree."

Three hours have passed since the start of our punking spree. In all the time it took us to move from the movie theater and change out the scary movies with boring nature specials that only an animal lover would appreciate, swapping out the menus of the diners with other restaurants in the area, informing the chefs that they had a night off and hiring the cooks from the fast food joints, yelling at ponies in the bushes and turning wedding proposals into nightmares of wedding ring boxes trying to eat the soon-to-be grooms, we have come to realize that our night was a resounding success.

And a fun one, to boot.

As we triumphantly marched down the street with a walking tub of ice cream as our drum major, we had found ourselves at the outskirts of town, close to the Everfree forest. While Discord veered over to a distinctive tree over a hill, I chomped down on a scoopful of ice cream.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I had asked the silent draconequus. .

"Nothing. It's just that I'm wondering how dear old Fluttershy is doing right now."

"I'm sure that she's fine. If she really wants you to come back, she'll come looking for you."

"I know... It's just that I don't like to keep her waiting."

For a while, there has been one question that lingered in my mind as I saw those two for the first time. I had noticed while everyone else had treated Discord as if he was a nuisance, she was eagerly flying in the air as he came to visit. Her smiles became a little more open. He'd practically turn himself down several notches while she was there. Not only that, but she had invited him into the comfort of her own home. I knew that it was rude of me to ask if they were seeing each other, but it was a question that burned in my mind since my arrival here.

"Hey."

"Yes." He solemnly answered.

"Do you like her?"

Appearing surprised, he tried to laugh it off. "Me? Like her? How could that be anything?"

"You seem to like her."

Suddenly, the draconian creature started to fumble with his speech. "Why... I-I-I never saw her as more than friends!"

Really? That is one big ass elephant in a small ass room. "So you don't like her?"

"No. What made you ask that?"

"Well, I only asked because she gave so much to you. Hell, even when the others had counted you out, she still stayed in your corner. Even when it got bad, she stuck it out for you."

"Nope. I would never think of Fluttershy that way." I don't see how he's denying this so much. "And besides, do you honestly think that I should invest my emotions into something that wouldn't be willing to invest in the same thing?"

Oh... He doesn't think she's interested. So as a means to harden himself, he's denying it altogether. Not a good way to go about it. "What do you mean?"

"Fluttershy sees me as a friend. I mean, we have our moments where we don't exactly get along but at the end of the day..." He starts to trail off, looking to the cottage at the top of the hill. "I don't see why we're even having this conversation."

"I think it's something to talk about." I stated, chomping down on the last of the ice cream.

"It's not really anything worth speaking on."

Silence grew between us as I swallowed the last wad of butter pecan. After a few seconds, I finally spoke up. "I think you should speak to her."

"Now?"

"Whenever you're ready. Tell her how you feel."

Scoffing at my offer, Discord summoned up an odd looking tree to sit on. "And what would that do? I'm nothing special to her." Sadness soon filled his voice. "She doesn't even see me as anything more."

"Have you asked her?"

"...Why do I need to?"

"You're scared to ask."

"I am not!"

"Then ask her one day. You'd be better off knowing how she feels than voluntarily being in the dark the entire time."

Discord adjusted himself on the top of his 'Thinking Tree', dangling his head down to the ground as he hung upside down. "Perhaps, I just don't want to know."

"Why is that?"

"Because..." An exasperated sigh left his body as he sagged. "I'm afraid that she'll reject me."

"That's it?"

"You make it seem as if it's easy. I don't like being rejected. It only infuriates me."

Shaking my head, I leaned against the tree he laid on. "How much does it infuriates you?"

"...Can we talk about something else?"

"Can you stop running from your heart? I don't think that's a possibility being that it's in your body."

"Then you don't know me. I'm the Master of Chaos."

Laughing a little bit, I mocked his claim. "Then you'll love being in love. That shit makes not a lick of sense."

"...I already am."

Stopping to turn back to the sulking creature, he summoned a picture of him and Fluttershy smiling at each other. "...But you just said that you didn't like her."

"I don't. I love her. There's a difference."

Taking a seat on the ground below, I kept my ears open for what he had to say. "Okay. So... what do you feel when you're around her?"

"Pain, pleasure, sickness, wholesomeness, joy, sorrow, elation, depression. I feel many things as I am composed of many things, but at the very least my body is able to come together. This... love. I cannot understand it. It confuses me, which I should like because it doesn't make sense. I mean, love itself is a chaos of it's own accord. And yet, I hate being so into it. It's a chaos that I cannot control."

"Yeah. Shit hurts a lot. I know."

"Do you?"

Melanie. Nuff said. "...It's a long story."

"We have the night. I'm sure that it's not too terribly late."

I knew that this was going to be a lot to tell, so I prepared myself to finally disclose, in detail, my friendship that turned sour. "...Well-"

"Discord?"

Interrupted, both he and I turned to the source of the voice. Our voices sounded out in unison as we saw a curtain of pink hair covering the face of a yellow pegasus. "Fluttershy?"

She kept her head low as she turned around, facing her cottage. "Discord, let's go home."

Discord jumped off the tree and walked over to her. "Fluttershy, I'm sorry."

"I know." She simply answered. "Now come home."

As the two started to walk down the road towards the cottage, I followed behind them, still making sure that everything would be okay between the two of them.

When we had finally climbed the hill, Fluttershy opened the door and showed Discord inside. I stayed by the doorway, uncertain if I should be following past this point. Starting to walk away, I heard Fluttershy quietly mew out to the draconequus.

"I love you too."

I almost broke my neck as I looked back to Fluttershy, who had tackled Discord to the floor and started to kiss him. It was apparent that my presence was far from needed. It was already getting late. Maybe I should be heading back home myself. Glimpsing back, I saw more than enough than what I had needed to. Discord was laid out on the ground as Fluttershy eagerly dropped her body on top of his. She gasped as she hurriedly slammed herself into Discord, who was lost in ecstasy.

Yup, a mare and her mate having at it on the very boarder of her doorway. Quiet gasps of air had turned into lustful moans and urgent grunts. It was almost like one of those nature flicks that we managed to swap out with the slasher flicks.

"Harder, Discord!"

Yup... Just as nature intended.

"Oh Fluttershy! I'm so sorry!"

"I know you are! NOW RUT ME HARDER!!"

So much fucking nature. So educational. Such graceful sounds.

"YES! FILL ME WITH YOUR BABIES! I WANNA HAVE YOUR FOALS!"

"Fluttershy, I'm coming. Quick, grab my balls!"

...And that over there is a tree. I'm gonna go get a better view of that hot maple action going on over there. Away from the cottage. Far away from the cottage.

From one tree to the next, I kept convincing myself to follow the trees on back to town. Wow. Those two were repressed as all hell. Since my departure, I could still hear the two howling into the night as I made my way back to the castle. And after a bit of a walk, I had landed myself into the front lobby. It wouldn't even take me a full minute to find my room.

Finally in the sweet, comforting embrace of my bed, I knew that I was home. Rest would soon greet me as I landed myself into my bed. The long, eventful day had led me from a park, to Twilight's bedroom, to my bedroom getting choked by her older brother, me taking Discord on a prankster's night out, my navigating to the castle as I heard two feral creatures mating in the distance and finally to my bed.

I'm so tired that I might just take my shower in the morning.

Something seemed off about the sound of the knocking at my door. It was slow, but it was more heavy-hoofed. Assuming it was Shining Armor, I feigned my sleep.

The knock, still timid in it's timing, persisted as time went by. After a little bit, I finally caved and rose to open the door. As I answered the door, I had to rub my eyes and check if I was seeing things correctly or if my vision was blurred from exhaustion.

"Princess... Cadance?"

She quietly whispered to me as she looked both ways. "I need to speak with you."

Feeling a little groggy, I decided to delay our conversation to a time more suitable for me to deal with. "Sorry, princess. I've had a long day. Can we talk in the morning?"

"It's very urgent and I am coming in." She said, sounding distressed.

Opting to challenge her, I stood in her way, but was quickly dispatched as she magically shoved me to the side. Closing the door behind her, she stood before me.

"I need to talk to you about what had happened earlier. I feel like I should explain a few things."

Assuming that she was talking about Shining, I decided to dismiss the conversation as quickly as possible so that I could get to sleep quicker. "If it's about your husband, then all is forgiven. I understand that I was in the wrong and-"

"Yeah, I know that." She hurried stated. "But I feel as if you don't have a clue as to what's going on."

Yawning, I tried my best push my words through. "That's a distinct possibility."

"So Twilight has never talked to you about her chastity vows?"

Immediately, my mind reeled back to the moment Shining had started to choke the air out of me. "No. But I heard a bit from Shining as he was about to put me to sleep."

"Nondis, Twilight is in deep trouble over what has happened between you two. And being that she hadn't explain her vows to you just made things worse for her."

Scratching my head, I asked the pink princess. "Worse as in how much?"

"Twilight is no longer caring for you."

I felt my heart drop as soon as the news hit me. My chest produced an empty, sinking feeling that came crashing in with guilt. "This is all my fault."

"From what she has informed me, your relationship with her was recent, like today-recent. So we can understand your not knowing of the royal chastity vows."

Waiving my hands, I pressed the princess for answers. "Wait a minute. What are these vows and what happens if one of them is broken?"

Cadance took a deep breath before settling down a bit. "The vows are simple. A princess must keep her body pure and chaste until the day of her mate's approval. Approval is made when there is another princess and at least twenty witnesses present. In the case of Shining and myself, our approval was a wedding."

"Okay." I answered. "So how long is the approval process?"

"Eighteen months, enough for the two to get to know each other."

So it's a year and a half. Sounds about right. "That makes sense. So what would happen if the vow is broken?"

"In Twilight's case, it's a minimum sentence. Separation from the royal and the unapproved."

"Okay. So what's the worst?" I asked.

"If a princess is deemed to be impure, then she is stripped of her title."

"And for the guy involved?"

"If minimal, then it's just separation. If maximum, then there are three courses of action. The first is that you are to be forcefully wed, as you are taking the responsibility of the broken vow. That is called a mended vow, meaning that it has been made right by the parties involved."

Apparently there was a lot more to those chastity rings Twilight wore aside from exhibition. "The second?"

"If the stallion refuses, then they were to be gelded." Oh, that didn't sound too bad. "Meaning that the testicles were surgically removed to prevent further mating."

HOLY FUCK, I WANT MY BALLS! I need those. I want my boys to stay firmly tucked right in my sack, still attached to my body. There was no way I was going to go through castration. A vasectomy is already hard on the thought, but this was far beyond that.

"...Third?"

Cadance took a pause. "This one is more of an archaic law, meaning that it's really old. And to my knowledge, it hasn't taken place as of yet. But from what I can remember, if a stallion was to force himself upon a princess, then he receives the maximum punishment. And that meant that he would be sent to the Badlands to live amongst the dragons. If he was to ever return, then he would be executed."

Suddenly, I'm feeling relieved that Twilight's punishment is at the very bottom of the ladder. At least her punishment was to be separated from me for a while. "So, I could've lost my junk."

"With you being a protected species, that would be a no. Which leads me to Shining."

"Let me guess, overprotective big brother?"

Cadance cringed as she tried to find a better way to explain herself. "No. More like super obsessive. Shining is a traditionalist, which means that he likes things as, and I quote, what they should be."

So is he right-wing nutjob bad, Tea Party bad, or just GOP conservative bad? "Is that a bad thing?"

"For you, yes. He is very strict when it comes to whoever's dating Twilight."

"How long has he been like this?"

The pink princess "Well, he's been like this throughout all of his life. It wasn't until days before we had gotten married where he became completely obsessive and skeptical towards another species being with a pony. But don't let his suspicions get to you. He'll still respect you."

"As long as I'm not dating his sister." Wow, that's like a farmer walking up to a man of a different color and shaking his hand, all while pointing a gun at him warning him not to get with his daughter. This place has a lot more parallels with my home than I had originally thought.

"Precisely. And as for Twilight, she will not be seeing you for a while. I mean, she will get to doing it again eventually, but not now. You're just going to have to lay low until this all has a chance to blow over. Give it about two to three months."

I'd be leaving around that time. So they want her to stay away from me until I'm given the green light to go back home. That really sucks.

"Okay. Well I now understand what's going on. Thanks for clearing that up." I said, walking towards my bed.

"Wait." She said, causing me to stop in place. Turning back to her, I saw that she seemed unhappy with the next bit of news.

"Okay. What's wrong?"

For the final time of the night, I made my way across town, walking side by side with Princess Cadance and one of her personal guards, Flash Sentry. Throughout my walk towards the next destination, Flash had talked to me about how bad he got it from Shining Armor the day after he rejected her. Throughout the morning shift, he was worked into the ground doing all sorts of physical exercises and simulations. Even going as far as performing suicides from here to Canterlot and back. And with it being an order from his superior, there was no way to reject it.

As for the reason why I am to Sugarcube Corner this late at night, there is a sound explanation. Being that Twilight was no longer taking care of me, that meant that all of her provisions towards me would have to come to a grinding halt. And with that bit of news meant that I was confined to a vegetarian diet once again.

It also meant that I didn't have a home to stay in.

I was even informed that in truth, Twilight had gotten off with a stern warning, thanks to the favoritism of Princess Celestia. But Twilight being her usual self, she still choose to follow through with the punishment. So she punished herself by giving herself that sentence.

In short, Twilight broke off her seeing me for the sake of making things right with her vows and her brother.

Finally arriving at our location, Pinkie opened the door with a very light smile on her face. After a few exchanged words and the movement of luggage, I was settled in. And as Cadance left, Pinkie closed the door behind them. I sat at a table on the other side of the bakery.

"Wow, Nonzie. You really did it this time." She said in a sympathetic tone.

Refusing to speak out of shame, I held my tongue. The only thing I wanted to do was to twiddle my thumbs until all of this blew over. Hell, I was hoping that this would be a done deal as soon as I had came back home. But instead, I'm sitting here in Sugarcube Corner, my new place of residence.

I snapped out of my daze as soon as I heard the rumbling of one of my bags. Turning around, I saw Pinkie trying to tote the cumbersome luggage on her back. I ran over to help her, but I found myself being rejected.

"No no! You're fine."

Finally opening my mouth for the first time since I arrived, I argued with her. "Let me help. It's my stuff."

"And it's my home. That means I'm accountable for you now."

Ignoring her, I grabbed the bag from her and started making my way upstairs. As I came to the top, I questioned myself on what I should do next. Pinkie walked behind me with a smaller bag and nudged me further down the hall. By the end of our journey, we had stopped in front of her bedroom. As soon as she opened the door, I was greeted with a mess of balloons and confetti. I even saw her pet alligator, Gummy, gnawing at an inflated balloon on her bedpost.

"Twilight had told me everything from earlier. She even told me what foods you like, what you'd like to read, the things that annoyed you at night and bunch of other crazy things."

Looking at the single bed at the end of the room, I knew that I was too big to lay on top of it normally. "So I'll be taking the floor."

Shocked that I would say such a thing, Pinkie dropped the bag she carried and bolted out in front of me. "No no no no no! Never! Not you! You'll take the bed."

"What about you?"

"I can take the room down the hall. I usually use it to keep the twins occupied. I don't mind sleeping there. It's okay. Go on ahead."

"Does it have a bed?"

"I'll manage."

Before I could say something against her, she walked out the room, taking her pet with her. "Bu-"

"Mr. and Mrs. Cake will talk with you in the morning. Just get some rest, we got a really early day tomorrow."

With a squeak and a click, the door closed, leaving me in a mess of balloons, confetti and my luggage. I supposed that she wanted to make me feel at home, but I just didn't. Comfort wasn't an issue, but rather my adapting to a new environment. I couldn't bring myself to take away someone else's bed, let alone Pinkie Pie's bed. Everything from the day had left a bitter taste in my mouth. Everything happened entirely too fast and I was completely unprepared. I wasn't even ready to hear the soft sobs coming from down the hall.

Pinkie was crying again.

I walked out of the room and followed the sound of her sobs to the room down the hall. As I turned the corner, I could see Pinkie laying next to a crib, wiping her tears away as she tried her best to suppress herself. Gummy held on to her mane, trying his best to comfort his caretaker. Pinkie knows that he's doing his best, but her tears still continued to roll. And it's all because of me.

I don't think I will be sleeping much tonight.

What will he do now that he's living with Pinkie Pie? Will he ever find a way to talk to Twilight again? Was it Pinkie who authored the mysterious entry? Stay tuned to find out.

I know that this started out a bit heavy, but I tried my best to even things out a bit. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter.

I awoke to what had felt like a pony pushing against me. I turned over in exhaustion, hoping to carry on with my rest. But to my dismay, the shoving continued. There was no possible way that it was morning already. Opening my eyes, I saw that there was a face in the darkness.

"Non-non, time to get up. C'mon."

Struggling to focus on who it was, my eyes closed under the weight of my eyelids. I was just too tired. But Pinkie persisted, shaking me a little harder than before.

"Nonzie, c'mon. You got to get up."

Sniffing and wiping the drool off the side of my face, I groggily looked to the pink mare standing beside me. "Nnnnnngh... What time is it?" I woozily asked.

"I know it's early, but Mr. and Mrs. Cake are downstairs. They're both waiting to speak to you."

I looked at the window, seeing that there was not even a remote sign of the sun rising into the sky. No birds chirping, no changing colors of the sky, pitch black still swallowing the room. Just how early did I wake up.

"What are we doing up so early?" I questioned, yawning as I stretched.

"We're getting ready for the early-bird specials this morning. That and we need to get started on our usual morning inventory."

One by the other, my legs staggered out of the bed, carrying me with them. Stretching again, my joints popped and cracked as I let out a long, strained groan. After I finished, I was still as tired as I was when I had woke up. "Where are they again?"

"Downstairs. But be really quiet when you get in the hallway. The twins are asleep."

Slowly yet surely, my body inched out of the door and down the stairs to meet with two familiar faces. Carrot was busy removing the chairs from the top of the table while Cup started to clean off the counters. As soon as I crept down the stairs, their attention soon shifted to me. Taking a seat in a nearby chair, I started to nod off. Luckily, Pinkie handed me a steaming cup of coffee that already screamed 'wake the fuck up'.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Cake." I sounded out tiredly.

Cup walked over to where I had sat. Her husband followed suit. "Hello Nondis. How are you feeling today?"

Really, it's like four and some change in the morning. What else is there to feel? "Tired."

Carrot nodded in response to my broken-toned answer. "I can understand why. You're not used to waking up this early in the morning."

"But we do suggest that you start to, being that you'll be living here." Cup added.

"So let me guess, if I live here for free, I have to work here, right?"

Cup Cake shook her head. "Hardly. In fact, we'd be willing to pay you for your work."

"I'm sure that Pinkie has already given you the rundown of how her wages are paid, right?" Carrot asked me.

"You'd subtract her living expenses out of her check so that you'd be paid anyways. And then by the time that's paid off, then she can receive the rest of her check."

"Yes. But we're willing to pay you for any additional time that you would want to put in." Cupcake stated as her husband gave me a lively smile.

"I told my wife about the time when you worked in the kitchen with me. I can honestly say that you'll be a welcome addition to the Sugarcube Corner family."

The only thing that seemed to be questionable in this deal was how much they would cut out of my check in order to pay off the living expenses. And even then, I'd still collect a paycheck. This was my only option. "Well... I guess I could give it a shot, being that I live here now."

Cup clopped her hooves together with glee, feeling more than excited for my agreement to the terms. "You won't regret it."

At the same time, I felt a pair of hooves wrap around my neck, hugging me. "Ooooh! Non-non, you're gonna love being here! You'll get to meet up with plenty of other ponies here in the town. You'll get to spend some time with Pound and Pumpkin. You'll even get to help me plan more parties. I can't wait till you get settled in!"

"Now a few ground rules." Carrot added. "The first rule is respect. Respect the customers, respect the belongings, respect the rules of our little home."

Cup pointed to the pink mare behind me. "Though we moved out a while back, we still call this home. Ultimately, the home aspect is really more onto Pinkie Pie."

"Also, the second rule. Please feel free to be comfortable, but also remain courteous to others who share the same space."

"If there is something that you need to borrow, please ask us first. We don't mind if you borrow, but we would like it if nothing was to be broken."

"And a third rule. I know that both you and Pinkie are young, so I can only ask that if you two were going to do something, just remember to clean up after yourselves."

What did they mean by that? I know we might throw a few parties, but were they really implying that we'd... have sex on the counter or something? I don't think that will happen but okay. "I guess those shouldn't be too hard to follow."

"Great! That's good to hear." Carrot cheered.

"Glad to have you in the family." Cup said in a sang-sung voice.

"You'll love being here, Nonz!" Pinkie assured me as she clenched onto me even more.

Looking at the three ponies before me, they all shared smiles that seemed to brighten up the room. I guess the sun didn't really need to come up because they all seemed so bright. They were willing to take me in and more than willing to give me a job. Pinkie was more than willing to give up her bed for me. These three were making sacrifices long before I had even walked through the door. They welcomed me in their home with open hooves, despite my being different.

I'd write this in Twilight's friendship journal, if only she'd let me come near her.

Later that day, I had found out that my shifts wouldn't start until sometime tomorrow. At the very least, they wanted to give me a day to get settled in. But in reality, I had other plans. To this moment as the morning shines brightly in the streets of Ponyville, my bags have gone unpacked. If I had unpacked, then I would be giving up on making things work with Twilight.

I just hope I don't see Shining Armor again.

While my day went on, I had started to resent him for what he did. With each passing moment, I was reminded of the choke-hold he placed on me. I mean, yeah I was scared. But deep down, I was more angry than that. I was already assaulted by Caramel and to have Shining nearly snuff me out like that, I just don't see myself forgiving him anytime soon.

Yeah, it's true that I nearly did the nasty with his younger sister, who he considers precious and dear. She could've lost more than her virginity messing around with me, her title would've been stripped from right under her. I can understand his anger, but still I tried to apologize more than I was trying to play it off. I was admitting to my error and he was a squeeze away from dusting me.

It was almost embarrassing to beg for forgiveness and have someone else beg for my life. At least against Caramel, I had the dignity of going down with a fight. With him, there was just a sudden feeling of a magical ring around my neck.

Yeah, my mind was more on those two than anything. So imagine the folly that swam through my brain when I blindly decided to take a walk to the castle again. As soon as I had hit the front door, that's when my mind clicked back to what was said and done as a result of our lustful urges. I guess my walking here was really a developed habit. I couldn't believe that I was sitting here accepting that I wouldn't be seeing Twilight anytime soon...

No the fuck I'm not.

I decided against knocking. Opening the door, I waltzed right on in and started my march down the hall. And just as I turned a corner, I bumped into a familiar face. The purple princess rubbed her forehead as she took notice of me. I guess my luck wasn't all that bad.

"Sorry, sir. I didn't mean to..." As soon as she saw my face, I could see a bit of color fade from her cheeks. "No..."

I needed answers and I wasn't going to go anywhere without them. "Twilight, we need to talk."

Looking both ways to make sure that we weren't being watched, she pulled me behind a pillar and whispered to me. "You're not supposed to be here."

"I know that. I just came her to talk to you." I whispered back. "I had to hear something from you directly."

"Why are you even here?" She asked through clenched teeth.

"Because I want answers. You know that you're free to see me as much as you'd like."

"No I'm not. I have been ordered not to see you."

"That wasn't even the issued punishment. What you're doing is self-imposed."

"What I am doing," She stressed. "Is protecting you from Shining Armor. He's already pissed since he had to patrol the Equestrian border in the southern badlands. My brother has spies, and they are very loyal to him."

"Can't you keep them on the hush?" I asked as her eyes grew wide and her ears twitched. Apparently she heard something that alarmed her.

"SHH!" She covered my mouth with a hoof and pulled me closer to the wall. I didn't know what she was doing at first, but when I had heard the approaching hoofsteps accompanied by two stallions conversing amongst each other, I knew that she had just saved me yet another time. She kept her hoof over my lips, causing me to smell nothing but the sweet scented lavender she wore. I held onto her hoof, taking in as much as the intoxicating scent as I could while remaining quiet.

As a patrol of two guards walked past the hall we hid ourselves in, Twilight's breaths started to get a little heavier, gaining volume as she watched me worship the scent that emanated from her body. Realizing that she had become too loud, she found her silence locked into my lips. I drove my tongue into her as madly as I could while she pressed me further into the wall. As the guards passed completely, our clandestine kiss had erupted into a volatile exchange of tongue and flesh. Even our breaths became unified as we started to become entranced in lust. A quiet whimper snuck out from her throat as we separated.

Yet her desire drove me and her close yet again. She licked my cheek, quickly before greedily seeking my tongue to dance with hers. Our reunion was dangerously forbidden... yet it was eagerly welcomed. Like a untamed beast, she dared to corner me behind the pillar that hid our forms. Her wings started to unfold on their own and her tail had started to raise. It was at those signs when she backed off of me completely. Even I was left compressed, longing to be captive yet again by the moistened flesh of her nethers.

"That was close." I whispered, holding myself as I started to experience pain.

"You need to leave." She whimpered, trembling from what could've been the escalation of our passion.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Are you really asking me th-"

"Why did you kiss me? It's a simple question that requires a simple answer. Why did you kiss me?"

"Because I know I can trust you."

"What if I said that I trusted you as well?"

"Then I'd have to ask you to leave, like I am now."

"Twilight-"

For the final time, she pressed her lips against mine. Our exchange was a brief and sloppy one, our lips smacking as we parted and our fluids uniting in a thin bridge. "Ugh! I can't stand being like this." She complained, shifting her hind legs. Looking both ways, she summoned up a letter with an unidentifiable seal set upon it. "This letter is your explanation. Now go. Stay safe. I'll see you in a month or so."

As her horn began to glow, I offered her one last question. "Wait, what do you mean by a month?"

I never got my answer. Before I could even finish my question, I was suddenly in a room full of pink decorations, rainbow streamers and numerous balloons. Despite my being in Pinkie's room, my lips were still moist from the sinful exchange that Twilight and I both shared. The lavender scent, as well as a light musk, still lingered in my nostrils. The tightness in my pants still remained as I held the sealed letter in my hands.

The answers to all of my questions were now within my grasp. Literally. I could only hope that this letter doesn't provide me with more questions than answers.

After reading the letter, I was given more questions to ask. But thankfully, my answers far outweighed the questions. It seems that the vows were made as an anti-scandal device of some sort. It would appear that there have been rulers in previous times where they'd have at it with some of the guards or one of the commoners. When the news had gotten out, Celestia had no other choice but to act accordingly.

Many were stripped of their power but given the right to marry. Some stallions, in refusing to marry, were gelded as a result. And being that there was never a rape case brought up with a princess' name on file, there was never a need to execute anyone.

Cadance was close to breaking her royal vows with Shining Armor. But it seemed that her wait was so prolonged, she sought to get approval. And given their infatuation with each other, they decided to go all-out by getting married.

Which lead up to the situation with Shining Armor. It seems that he openly admitted to his wrongdoing of assaulting me before the council. That being the case, Princess Celestia, also feeling a little biased with Twilight, decided to let her off with a warning and him with a temporary exile. But knowing that Shining Armor would still be angry with me for being with his sister, with the addition of being sentenced to patrol dragon country, aka the Southern Badlands, he'd be coming at me with a sharpened tool. As far as how long he'll be gone, no one knows. So to prevent any further conflict, Twilight decided to give herself the minimal sentence as a means to buy me and Shining Armor some time to cool off.

At the end of the letter, she went on to explain that her feelings couldn't go any further with me than what's already been shown for the past five months. She admits to liking me, questioning whether she'd see me as more than a friend. She kisses me full on the lips and doesn't know if she wants to take it further or not. If that's friendship, then I'm excited to see what she means by next level.

But she goes further to explain that she will not be seeing me for a full month, maybe even more. She will try her best to avoid me and advised me that I'd start looking for, and I quote, other options.

That's where the questions started to snowball from. Was she really asking me to see other mares? Perhaps she wanted me to search for something if things didn't work out between us. But my only question was who would be a fit for that? I've known her for five months and lived with her in that time span. No other mare here in town has been that close to me. I can give a list of close seconds but not anything near the depth of what she's done for me. I know that I do like her now. The hard part is knowing that I wont be able to see her for a month or longer.

I might not even get to see her until it was time for me to leave.

With my clothes unpacked, I had finally let myself sink into a trough. I took a seat outside of the place I now had to call home. I never weighted the option of being in a relationship during my time here. I just wanted to wait out my stay and leave on the first train smoking. But now, I've grown confused. As a human, I have grown attracted to equines. In that attraction, I've developed sexually and have grown even more frustrated as the time went by. And no signs of wet dreams for miles. Hell, I just suffered one of the worst cases of blue balls known to man. So for the moment, I decided to go for a walk, trying to distract myself from the real world.

I really hate being an adult at times.

When I was a kid, I was more carefree than anything. I didn't have to worry about tuition, the cost of books, room and board, gas money, saving up for an upgrade to my computer's RAM, Steam sales, social awareness, having sex to be popular, internet forums, cell phone bills and groceries. Hell, I didn't think that I'd have to worry about traveling to a new world and trying to start my life all over again, get my ass beat, get into a forbidden relationship with royalty and nearly get choked out by the princess' older brother.

Yeah, times were much simpler. All you had to do was make sure that your parents had bought you a playstation and you were ahead of the curve. Everything was already done for you. If you had to eat, your parents paid for it. If you needed school supplies, your parents got them for you. If you wanted to go to another class, you'd just walk down the hall. If you wanted someplace to sleep, then you'd go to your room, free of charge.

Life was easy then. But now as an adult, the world was your battlefield and everything was your enemy. Emotions matured and became complex to deal with as a result. People who were your friend way back when were now your enemy. They either envied you or they hated you. At least then, you were blissfully ignorant to those harsh realities. Things were a little more black and white then but now you couldn't be too sure. The world and it's people were all different shades of gray. You knew that there was a reason behind everything. And that's what makes things so difficult to tell which ones were genuinely troubled from those who were criminally insane.

When I was a kid, I didn't have to worry about any of that.

"Heads up!"

Looking up ahead, I could see a soccer ball barreling towards my head. Reflexively throwing my arms into the air, I defended myself from the ball's blow. Unsure on where it came from, I tried to identify it's source. As I looked around, I could clearly see that I was no longer in the streets of Ponyville, but in it's town park. More specifically, a soccer field.

Yeah, I know that the world has decided to call it football. But given that it is a stupid decision and with me being an American, I have elected to ignore it.

"Scootaloo, Ah thought we told y'all ta be careful!" I heard a young filly call out from my far left.

"Hey! I didn't know that he was going to be walking right into our goal post!" The young pegasi shouted back.

"Girls, I think we should be apologizing rather than arguing." Sweetie Belle said, trying to break up the two other fillies.

The three fillies faced me with folded ears and shame veiled over their faces. "We're sorry." The choraled in unison.

They really didn't have to. I wasn't paying any attention to where I was walking. My mind was more concerned with the long nostalgia trip I took rather than making sure that I didn't walk into a creek somewhere. "You three are okay. I should be apologizing."

"That aside, how are you doing today, Nondis?" Sweetie asked.

My day was already long enough without an explanation. I didn't need to bog myself down explaining everything that happened. "I'm okay."

Finally raising their heads, they continued the game I accidentally walk in on. Apple Bloom reset her position back onto the grassy field, or pitch as they would call it. "So, what brought ya over here?"

"You came to watch us play?" Scootaloo asked as she grabbed the ball from me.

"Actually, I just walked over here. So what's going on?"

"Scootaloo an' Ah are tryin' ta see who's the best at soccer. We're hopin' that the winner gets their cutie mark." Apple Bloom explained.

"And that cutie mark belongs to me." Scootaloo argued.

"It does not!"

"Does so!"

The competition between these two had a familiar edge to it. Apple Bloom and her older sibling, as well as Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash being of no relation but similar ideals, often butted heads over who was better at what. I'm just hoping that I don't have to wear a dress this time.

"Okay. So what are you doing Sweetie Belle?" I asked, turning to the white unicorn filly.

She smiled luminously as she levitated a clipboard, holding a scoring chart with a slew of chicken scratch all over it. "I'm keeping score!"

I chuckled and rolled my eyes at the mess on the score chart. I saw a few tally marks, a few flowers, some hearts, arrows, the quadratic formula, a haiku and a picture of a chicken with Scootaloo's head on it. "That's... quite a score." I tried my best not to burst out in laughter.

"Really? Maybe I could get a cutie mark for being a good scorekeeper!" She said enthusiastically. Though it wouldn't be likely for her talent to be one.

"That's great! Keep it up!" I encouraged, not wanting to break her spirits.

"Enough chit-chat, ref!" Apple Bloom shouted to Sweetie Belle. "It's time to get this game going."

As I watched the three fillies run back onto the pitch, I felt myself becoming distracted from the nonsense that plagued my mind. Instead, I enjoyed myself watching Apple Bloom and Scootaloo trying to score against one another. I didn't have an interest in the sport, nor could I help Sweetie Belle keep score as she continued to carelessly scribble on the score sheet. I just had fun watching the two jump at each other, tripping each other and fussing that they didn't get a foul call. Sweetie Belle was too busy humming and drawing while the other two went at each other's throats. It was quite a hilarious sight.

That's when it had hit me. I needed a day to embrace my inner-child. One could argue that the pranking antics of last night could be me doing just that, but Discord and I were doing it to ponies who were on a date. Even then, he was having his own issues while I needed to escape from the castle.

Today would be a day where I could finally cast my cares to the wind as if I was back in elementary school.

As time passed, the two combatants finally wore themselves breathless, frustrated that neither of them could hit the back of the net. Sweetie Belle as more frustrated that she had ran out of paper to doodle on. My mind continued to flash back to the times I used to do this in my own world. Kids would run around and play various games on the playground. It was a much better comparison to the preteens who only sat on the ground, playing Flappy Bird on their ipods and smart phones.

Though the reactions they produced when they failed were something to laugh at too.

"I... give up..." Scootaloo panted as she laid on her stomach.

Apple Bloom was in no better condition. "Ah... can't take... anymore of this."

"Well at least the two of you are doing fine. I ran out of paper!" Sweetie added.

"Neither of us scored." Scootaloo staggered as she tried to regain her breath.

"Yeah. But now I don't have anything to draw on." Sweetie clarified, drawing moans from the both of them.

"...Seriously?" Apple Bloom deadpanned. "Ya only had to keep score. An ya waste all of the paper drawing instead!? Ya had one thing ta do!"

"Sorry. I guess I was a little bored while you two were kicking the ball senselessly at each other."

I guess that's something Sweetie and I both have in common. Soccer was never a vested interest of mine. Sports in general were okay but my interests were of the Japanese-animated variety.

"Now neither of us aren't gonna get our cutie marks." Scootaloo droned gloomily, causing the two other fillies to sink their heads in response.

"Aw! Don't feel too bad, girls. I don't have a cutie mark and you don't see me complaining." I stated. My only response were blank looks from the three fillies who thought I was dumb for making the comment. At the very least, I tried to make them feel better. But it seems that Sweetie Belle was the first to have a light bulb pop on above her head.

"I GOT IT! Nondis, remember how you said that you would one day go crusading with us?"

To be honest, I didn't even remember saying anything like that. Did I make a promise to go crusading with Sweetie Belle and the others? I don't recall. "Well... I... don't think I do."

"That's a lie and you know it!"

Wow, I give Sweetie credit. She will call you out for something that you may or may not have said. At the very least I wasn't being crucified for it. "What lie!?"

Sweetie cleared her throat and walked up to me. "I remember you distinctively stating that you would go crusading with us. It was two months ago and we were walking down the street to help Rarity carry some of her bags from her shopping trip." Okay, that I remember. "We also had a conversation about you not having a cutie mark, just like this one now." I remember that too. "So I asked you if you could come crusading with me and Rarity said not that day. So I got a little upset and you said that you would. You said, and I quote, 'Cheer up. If I'm free one of these days, then of course I can go crusading with you and your friends.' That's what you said."

In my time here, I have learned to appreciate and curse a unicorn's memory retention. Twilight has shown her ability to maintain her memories when completely plastered and even months down the line. That meant that Sweetie Belle memories would be in picture perfect HD being that she wasn't under any sort of influence. Scary, huh?

"Oh... Did I say that?"

"You know you did. Now today's the day where you make good on your promise."

"I didn't even promise it!" At least I don't remember that I did. Maybe she could recall something else that I might've said to imply that I had promised that. But either way, I was definitely in need of an escape. So I guess I could go on ahead and play crusader for just today.

"So... you don't want to go crusading with us?" Sweetie questioned with a growing frown.

"Not in the slightest." Her head sank low as I denied her question. "Bah! I'm just pulling your leg, of course I'll crusade with you today."

Sweetie and the others smiled from ear to ear as they all tacked me collectively, enough to push me to the ground as they all gave me a hug. Cheerful banter was all I could make out as the three continued to show appreciation.

"Okay! One at a time!" I pleaded, hoping to settle them down. "I can't make out what any of you are saying."

In unison, they all shouted the wax out of my ears. "Cutie Mark Crusaders! YAY!"

While I still felt a slight ring in my ear, I smiled back at the three fillies who held me against the ground. "Great. So what are we doing today, Cutie Mark Crusaders?"

Throughout our day, the girls and I have done a variety of things around the town. We started off our journey with sailing, but found ourselves being unable to how to navigate a boat. So after being stuck at the docks for over an hour. we tried hiking. By the time we came down, the girls were still upset that they didn't get their cutie marks in that either. Shortly after, we volunteered our time to help some of the floral ponies plant flowers in their gardens. After the girls clumsiness with potted plants, we were shown away. But in time, their destructive ideas have even inspired them to make a disaster movie. After many hours of trying to come up with a script, nothing came to mind. So that idea was immediately abandoned.

Despite our reoccurring failures, we all found enjoyment in the time we spent with one another. By the time that the sun had started to burn out, we sat in the empty auditorium of the local schoolhouse. Sweetie wanted to try her hoof at play writing again. She said it was something that she did once before, but was greatly outshone by her sister's costumes. She knew that Rarity had did the costumes specifically for her, but she was still a bit bummed out that everyone else was more interested in what they were wearing rather than what they were seeing, the lines that were spoken.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were too busy laughing at some old, broken props that they said they had used once before. Scootaloo especially was laughing at the thought of her singing on stage again. Apple Bloom was mocking herself for her interpretive dance routine she did at the show. I grew envious that I wasn't here to see it. But I guess that couldn't be helped. I'm just an outsider looking in.

Looking over to the end of the stage, I saw an old-looking piano. Walking over to it, I rubbed my fingers against the off-white keys. It felt a little gritty and worn, but when I pressed a note, I found that it was one of the best sounds I've ever heard an instrument produce. No tacky wavelengths, no dual-tones, no clashing noise, just pure sound.

"Do you play piano?" Scootaloo asked as she crept up on me, startling me a bit.

"Whoa! Didn't see you there."

"Don't tell me that I scared you." She mocked.

"No. Just caught off guard." I rebutted, returning my attention to the instrument.

"Well, do ya?" Applebloom asked as she banged a few notes on the lower register.

"I don't play it. I guess you can say that I dabble a bit. The reason I started to pluck at it is because of a few anime and videogames that I liked."

The three fillies became lost at my answer. Scootaloo was the first to ask. "What's anime?"

I guess my otherworldly reason seems to be hit-and-miss. They don't know what anime is, nor would they ever know because it doesn't exist here. "It's a type of entertainment medium. It's sort of like stuff you watch on TV."

My explanation seemed to only deepen their curiosity. "What's a TV?" Sweetie asked.

"A TV is like a radio. Only instead of just sound, it's like a moving picture screen in your living room, or your bedroom."

"So, it's like a movie theater in your own house?" Scootaloo inquired.

"That's so amazing!" Apple Bloom complimented.

"Wait, did you say your living room... AND your bedroom?" Sweetie asked.

"Yeah." I can't believe I haven't told anyone this before. I would've expected Twilight to explain a bit of my world to them, but it seems that she hasn't gotten a chance to. "In fact, you can have one in your car, you can have one on a plane, you can even have one in your hand."

Smartphones being the prime example of this.

"WOW!" The three fillies seemed interested in the technological advancements of my world. Then again, the telephone isn't exactly a known medium of communication. But at least telegraphs are still in use. So it's safe to assume that phones wouldn't be too far off.

"Tell us more!" Apple Bloom demanded.

"Don't worry. We swear not to tell anypony!" Scootaloo reassured as Sweetie Belle stepped between them.

"Your secrets are safe with us. Crusader's honor."

A slight smile grew on my face as I found myself as the center of the fillies' attention. I know with my being different would always be the subject of interest for most of the ponies in this world, but I still think that it's a bit humbling that there are others who have a genuine interest in me. Even for a moment, I knew what a celebrity felt like.

But I still wouldn't tell them everything about the human world. I gotta leave something to talk about the next time. "Eh... Later."

"What!? Why!?" The three asked me in shock.

"Because I can't tell you everything in one go. Besides, you three have been looking around the old props and haven't told me a thing as to why they make you laugh."

"Huh?" The three quirked their eyebrows and tilted their heads.

"What makes these props so special?" I asked them, hoping to gain some context on the matter.

"Well, it's an embarrassing story." Apple Bloom mumbled as she played with her hoof. "But do ya remember when we told ya about the performance we did a long time ago? These were the props that Sweetie Belle made."

Sweetie gasped, seeming somewhat offended that the two had spent time laughing at her old work. "HEY! Those were my first props! I came a long way since then!"

"Yeah, but since when was the sun brown?" Scootaloo pointed out to a sharp, pointy circular piece of unpainted wood, giggling as she pulled out the hazardous prop.

"I ran out of paint! I didn't have any yellow after I colored in the house. What about that time when Apple Bloom kicked the tree prop and got her leg stuck in the hole?"

Apple Bloom laughed at the horrendous affair that continued to ring loudly in their memories. "Yeah, I'll admit that I should've let Scootaloo do the dancing. Her singing was absolutely horrible."

At this point, I was too busy laughing at the three as they bickered amongst each other. Everything from my chest down to my waist was aching from my perpetual chortle.

"Shut up! I had a sore throat! You know I sing better than that."

"Can you?" Sweetie asked with a smirk.

"Maybe it should've been you who should've sang in the show since your props sucked. You should've left the wood work to Apple Bloom."

"NO WAY! I can't sing in front of everypony! I'd sound horrible. If my voice sounded horrible then I'd die of embarrassment."

"Uh... Sweetie Belle," Apple Bloom interjected. "Ya are the best singer of the group."

"Oh no no no! All that Apple family talent? Applejack can play an instrument and sing at the same time. Pinkie Pie can sing and play multiple instruments. Big Mac is apart of the Ponytones-"

"Rarity is apart of the Ponytones, and she's yer older sister!"

"But I can't really sing sing. Just... croon."

"How do you know that for sure?" I finally asked her, recovering from my fit of laughter.

Sweetie Belle opened her mouth, but words failed to exit. As she took a moment to think, a startling reality had hit her. "I don't. Look, I'm just scared."

There was only one way to know for sure. "Sweetie, can you sing me a song?"

"S... s-s-s-sing? FOR YOU!?" She stammered as her face started to turn beet red. Looking away nervously, she tried to go down a list of excuses of why she thought it would be a bad idea. "I think I'm a little sick. I got a frog in my throat. I haven't warmed up. I haven't had any warm tea. I-"

"Please?" I simply requested in a low, fatherly voice.

As Scootaloo and Apple Bloom cheered her on, Sweetie Belle finally broke down, giving in to my request. "...Fine."

I walked up to her and placed an empty microphone stand in front of her. As I started to walk away, I had noticed that she had started to shake. "Sweetie, just pretend no one's here." I advised.

Starting to rub her throat and backing away nervously, she staggered in her speech. "I... eeee... aaah... I can't."

I tapped my foot, wondering what would be a better way to get her to sing. I found myself staring at an empty sound booth on the far end of the auditorium. As my line of vision panned across the room, I saw nothing but a bunch of empty seats.

And that was my answer.

"Sweetie, do you see those seats?"

"Y-y-y-you want me to imagine-"

I held up my hand to cut her off. "Not in the slightest. What you see is an empty room. No one is here to judge you or call you harsh names. Your audience for today is the dust in the air."

"So no one is here?" She started to warm back up.

"I'm not even here. Just have confidence in you and you alone. Look to those empty seats and find that there's not a single pony there. It's all you."

Sweetie drew a few deep breaths as she closed her eyes. As she took a moment to gather herself, I walked away as quietly as I could. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom remained quiet as they waited for the first note to fall from Sweetie's mouth. A final draw of breath, a quick intake.

And she started to sing.

I sat at the piano quietly listening to her. As I heard the fluctuations of her tone, I had gained an idea of where she was going to go with her song. As soon as the final words of her first verse had ended, I had figured out her key. Raising my hands to meet with the white keys, my mind focused on the F-major arpeggiation I would play behind her. Her chorus came in, and I played behind her.

As I continued to play, Sweetie looked back to me and gleamed brightly as I accompanied her. She grasped for the breath that left her as soon as I came in. I nodded my head at her, trying to remain focused on the notes I played. The other two rooted us on as I awaited Sweetie Belle's next verse.

I continued to play, slowing down as we came to the end of her song. When I had looked back over to her, I could see that her eyes were slightly reddened from the tears that trailed down her face. She looked directly at me, breaking her voice for a single second before she finally finished.

As she held her final note, I felt the emotions that spilled down her cheeks. Her very soul lied bare for the three of us to see. My playing finally ceased as I let a C ring low and long. When my foot finally left the sustain pedal, I watched Sweetie Belle run to me. She clenched me tightly, sniffling as she thanked me for playing behind her. Really, I needed to hear something like that. It brightened up my day on so many levels.

Everything was perfect.

"BOO!"

And then that tender moment had all came crashing down as I looked up to the very back of the room to see two other foals of equal age, laughing at Sweetie Belle's song.

"What the fuck's your problem!?" I had shouted back as they walked up to the stage.

"The problem is that Sweetie Belle actually thought that she could sing. Does she even know how to hold a note?" The light purple filly asked.

"All that sounded like was a dying bear. No wonder she'll never get her cutie mark!" The gray filly jeered as she and her friend pointed at the three crusaders.

"Blank flank, blank flank, blank flank!"

Bullies... That one aspect of childhood that was an introduction to the harsh world of growing up. If I could recall, those two were the two girls who always made fun of Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle for being late bloomers in finding their special talents. A reoccurring hobby that they often shared.

I've been meaning to have a few words with them.

"So what are your special talents?" I bluntly asked them, seeing if they would give me an honest answer.

"What does our talents matter to you?" The gray one, named Silver Spoon, questioned me.

"It's not like you have a talent of your own. You can't get cutie marks anyways, blank flank ape creature."

...I'm sorry, did she just...? Yes she did. She went there. She really went there. Why did she go there? "Excuse me?" I wanted to make sure that I heard that correctly.

"Hairless... abomination... CAN. YOU. UNDER. STAND. ME?" The purple filly by the name of Diamond Tiara mocked me as her friend laughed at my expense. Yeah, it's exactly what I thought.

I guess it's about that time to cash in that reality check.

"So... Your cutie mark is a tiara." I said as I pointed to the purple filly. "And your's is a ruby-encrusted spoon of silver?" I turned my finger to the other filly who had finished laughing at me. Pointing back to the purple filly, I only uttered one word. "Rich..." My finger then pointed to the other filly. "Spoiled...."

The two didn't seem to have a problem when I had called them out on it. But I was going to much deeper than that. If these two were going to play bully, then I'd think that it's time that they had a bit of that formula dished back at them. Circling my fingers at the both of them, I finally spoke the final two words of my summary. "Brats."

They stopped smiling as soon as the insult had left my mouth.

"So tell me why do you make fun of these two for not having something that indicates their individual talents? Why them and no one else?"

Diamond stood up to me and tried her best to defend their reason for bullying the three fillies that stood behind me. "It's because they're way too old to not have their cutie marks. We were like the first ones to get ours in our class."

"Really? So you two were in so much of a rush to define yourselves that you didn't care to what you wanted to be seen as in the long-run?"

"What does it matter? We have our cutie marks and they don't." Silver answered.

Neanderthal bully logic. "Why? That can only mean that their destinies are much larger than what you two could possibly comprehend."

"Boring! Those three blank flanks over there had already said that to us! Spare us the lecture." Diamond sassed as she turned around to leave. Silver followed suit.

"I think that you two are scared of them."

The two bullies took a single step forward before stopping in their tracks. Their faces were well out of my sight, but I knew that they were surprised to hear me say that. Diamond was the first to turn back around. "T-that doesn't make any sense. Us? Scared of them?"

"Yeah." I nodded my head as I continued my rant. "You're terrified of what they could be. You see, your cutie marks just so happen to be a reflection of what kind of person you can be, not just your special talents. So with yours being what they are, it means that everyone will only see you two as stuck-up, insecure, unfulfilled, self-entitled, arrogant, close-minded, uninteresting pair of ponies who can't seem to understand the basic guidelines of social acceptance. So instead of starting from the ground up, you decide to build your reputation on the backs of others. You make fun of what they are, fearing what they could be and how powerful they will be in the future. You tone them down so you can feel better about yourself."

"What?" Silver asked, backing away from me almost terrified that I was willing to dig deep into their psyche.

Diamond had already started to march off. "Let's go, Spoony. He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"There you go, running away. You can't even perform the basic principles of standing up to your problems, so you cause others problems in hopes that what you put out is enough to throw everyone else off of you. But in the end, when the ones you've oppressed stand tall and proud of their accomplishments, you'll be the ones left questioning what you did with your lives."

Frustrated that I was still chewing them out, Diamond turned back to me screaming. "I don't need to hear this! My daddy will-"

"Do what? Solve your problems for you!? In case you haven't noticed, daddy won't be around all the time. Mommy won't be around all the time. No one will be left to be your little hugbox for when things don't go your way."

"SHUT UP!" Silver Spoon shouted as she stood in front of her shocked friend.

"Sweetie Belle is a wonderful pony, a beautiful little filly with so much more promised to her and an amazing singer. Something. That. You. Aren't... And judging from the cutie mark on your flank, something that you'll never be."

"Y-y-you... BIG MEANIE PANTS!" Silver shouted as both she and Diamond took to the exit. As I was left to cool down, I had felt my heart racing at a million miles per hour. I couldn't believe that I had actually said all of that.

I guess I was a little too real?

Apple Bloom stared at me slack-jawed, unsure on what had taken place. "Nondis... that was..."

"Totally awesome! I can't believe you just told them off like that!" Scootaloo enthusiastically hovered in the air for a short while before landing back on the ground. "That was totally epic!"

Sweetie Belle, still recovering from the verbal lashing I gave to the two bullies, gave me another hug, followed by a quick peck on the cheek. "Thanks for standing up for me."

I patted the young unicorn filly on the head as I playfully winked back at her. "Whatever, munchkin."

I guess I could understand why these three stay together as often as they do. With their current search for their talents, it almost feels like they're going against the world.

They are going up against the world. In society they're often seen as misfits because they developed a little late. But all they are are just late-bloomers. There's no need to ostracize them because they can't help what they are. If there's anything to scrutinize, it would be the ones who takes advantage of other's generosity, their meekness, their smiles, their honesty, their fealty. If anyone or anypony has to take advantage of one's good nature for the sake of self-gain, then truly they are empty in their lives. They don't accept that they are empty and elect to bury others under the foundation of their false livelihoods.

Those are the real misfits.

After a long escort of the three crusaders to their respective homes, I found myself dog tired. My legs were a little sore, my arms felt a bit heavy, but my heart was as light as a feather. I had entered the room that I would sleep in for the next month or so, finally letting my body hit the comfortable mattress. A long breath exited from my lungs, thinking about the day I've had. The only thing that I didn't look forward to was waking up at four in the morning. But even then, this day made me happy in spite of my circumstances.

"Come in." I called out.

The door swung open, revealing Pinkie after a hard day's work. She was covered in flour and frosting, her hooves were matted with cupcake batter and her mane was an unorganized mess. And not in the usual way.

"Damn, Pinkie. You look like hell."

The pink pastry chef just chortled back at me. "Look who's talking."

"So... whatcha doin' here?" I asked, still looking up to the ceiling.

"This is my room, silly. I'm not allowed in my own room?"

"I didn't say that nor have I implied it."

Pinkie slowly sat on the side of the bed as I laid there. What once filled my vision with cream white was now nothing more than pink, fuzzy curls and vanilla-flavored frosting. Pinkie nudged my arm, causing me to cringe slightly. "I've heard about your little adventure with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Those three have a real deep respect for you."

"I've noticed." I said, sounding a bit strained.

Her face begins to show a little worry. "You okay?"

"I'm fine."

Pinkie and I stayed silent for a long while. She started to lean against me a little, sighing as she felt the air fill and leave my chest. "So, you're good with foals, huh?"

"What, you need me to help you with the twins tomorrow?"

Pinkie booped me in the nose, finally letting her entire body lean against me. "No. I was just wondering."

"Hey I gotta ask you something."

The round, sapphire orbs locked onto my eyes, filled with their usual glow of optimism. "Ask away."

"Why were you crying last night?"

She blew a curl of her mane out of her face as she looked towards the hall. Just outside of the room was a row of portraits, and the one that stood just outside of her door was one of her, forelegs anchored around a tan-colored earth pony with green eyes and a curly mane similar to hers. "I started thinking about him again."

Cheese Sandwich, her most recent relationship. Thanks to the long distance that separates them, Pinkie had found herself becoming saddened over his inability to be around. "What about him?"

"How he feels about me. How I feel about him. What's gonna happen to the two of us."

I started to scratch her behind the ears and rub her belly, hoping that I'd cheer her up a bit. "I'm sure that it'll work out."

"...I'm not so sure it will."

That was something I didn't expect her to say. Usually she would be optimistic about something, but it had seemed that she had become more skeptical. This wasn't like her at all. "Pinkie?"

She drew in a deep breath, taking her eyes off of the portrait in the hall and to the hand that rubbed her belly. "To be honest... I don't know what I feel anymore."

I stopped rubbing for a moment. "Why not?"

The pink mare sat up from on top of me. Turning her head to face me directly, she spoke in a silent voice.

"Because of you."

Is this a confession? Stay tuned for the next chapter to find out.

Also the song that Sweetie Belle sang.

"Because of you."

My hand froze in place and twitched as I was left to wonder what the hell was going on. I knew that Pinkie had some interest in me, but not nearly enough to just fall in love with me. I don't know what the hell I want to do myself, but this was a new level of mind-fuck that I was far from ready to experience.

"Because of me, what?"

Pinkie stared at me for a brief second before she started to look back down the the hardwood floor, playing with her hooves. "Because... I... The things you say, the things you do. You give me a lot of comfort. I feel I want you around. You're like one of my closest friends. Perhaps even closer than anything."

I didn't exactly know how to react. If there is one thing that I know about this pink party mare, it's that she has a bad habit of throwing others off. Her ideas could be left field when you're expecting the ball to land somewhere in center. Even when you think you see it coming, it's not there. She had a gift of eluding me, and this situation was no different. "Pinkie... do you like me?"

She jumped back, starting to sweat nervously. "Like? I've always liked you Non-Non. I just... "

"See us as more than friends?"

"NO! No! Nonononono! I-I-I couldn't! You, no! I like you. I like, really like you, but I can't imagine myself being more than friends with you."

And she also had a bad habit of lying about her personal feelings. "Then why not?"

"No offense, I'm just not ready to be in a relationship with you. I mean, it's not like I really want you to..."

Careful, Pinkie. Your tsundere is showing. Either way, she wasn't being completely honest with me. "How do I know that you're not trying to confess-"

"BECAUSE I'M NOT!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, triggering me to become upset with her in response. I stood up from the bed to challenge her.

"Alright! You don't have to be so pissy about it!"

After our brief exchange of words, the both of us had realized that we had lashed out at each other, something that friends shouldn't do to one another. I felt guilt swell within my chest, causing me to regret what I had said and the manner to which I have said it. An awkward silence fell between us, lasting for several seconds before one of us finally had the courage to speak.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for yelling at you." Pinkie whispered. Her eyes locked onto my feet, crestfallen.

I walked over to her, trying my best to get her to look at me. "Pinkie, I get it. It's not gonna happen, nor will it ever be a thing."

The moment my hand came in contact with her chin, she gently brushed me off and turned her back to me. "Sorry. I don't want to be anything more than friends with you. You... I just want you to be close to me. I can have you close by and not be in that kind of relationship with you."

Haven't I been in this situation before? Yeah, with Melanie to be more specific. The only difference was that I didn't have the sexual drive to Pinkie that I did to Melanie when I had first met her. At the very least, I was okay with Pinkie's decision to stay the way we are. "So we'll be friends. I have no problem with that."

"I..." Pinkie sighed and turned herself back to me. She gave me a gentle smile before opening her hooves in request of a hug. "Yeah. We'll be friends."

"Great." I answered back, accepting her offer.

She and I hugged each other for an extended amount of time. Our embrace became full and heartwarming. I could still smell the vanilla frosting that littered her body. Her hooves slowly ran up and down the length of my back as she held on to me. "Yup. The best of friends."

I broke away from her, noticing that her words had sounded rather melancholy. I looked at her, seeing that she was wearing her usual masking smile. "You sure you're okay?"

She poked me in the nose, smiling all the while. "I'm fine, silly. I just need to clean up."

The pink mare turned away, finally walking out of the room. I could see that the thin smile she wore had finally dissolved into a frown. Hoping to see her smile, I cracked a joke at her. "Don't run all the hot water out."

She cracked the door as she left, but stood motionless outside of the room. She popped her head back in and I saw the same look she wore when she found out that Caramel was looking for her. Her mane had somewhat deflated, her eyes had went from a warm gleam to a icy, hopeless glow. The circles formed under her eyes as she avoided the sight of me. Her voice became weak and quiet. "You know, you can be a bit dense."

She finally closed the door on me, leaving me perplexed at her statement. I really didn't know how to respond to that. It was unpredictable. I didn't even think something like that would even leave her mouth, let alone the very idea of her calling me dense. The only thing I could do was scratch my head.

"Where did that come from?"

It's been a month since my moving into the bakery. Since then, I had found the life of a baker to be taxing. The days were sometimes long and grueling while others were more laid back and relaxed. Some of the customers were very selective, to put it nicely, when it came to me filling out their orders. I guess with me being the new face in the business, I could understand why. It wasn't me being a human, as they'd interact with me like they would any other pony, as much as it was that I was still fresh on the staff.

Sugarcube Corner was often a bustling business in the middle of the day. By five in the morning, I'd wake up, shower, do inventory, rinse off all of the tools for the baking, grease the pans, help feed the twins, clean off the tables and start making the dough for the first orders of the day. After that, we'd open the bakery by six, receiving the first handful of customers. Usually, they'd ask for frappuccinos and bagels. After that crowd, then the more serious orders start to come out. We'd have businesses sending over errand-colts to fetch in large orders of pastries, danishes, doughnuts, croissants, bagels and cinnamon buns.

By late morning, the eleven o'clock hour to be more precise, orders for birthdays had rolled in and we were busy rolling out cakes. Not only did we have those orders to fill but also the lunch orders started to roll in. Once again, errand-colts ran across the way to get orders for the co-workers. Large sums of pastries and cupcakes ran through the bakery as quickly as possible. This time, we'd even have clients from schools who'd purchase in-mass to feed their classes. That's where Pinkie's catering skills come in handy. The only downside is that it left only one of us to tend to the register.

The late afternoon was similar to a fire sale. The Cakes were already clocking out and didn't want a bunch of goods to carry over from day to day. So the 'everything must go' sales pitch applied here. By now, you had a rush of customers catching some absurd deals on goods that lasted the entire day. A dozen cupcakes, which would normally cost around seven bits, ran for two. Pastries sold like hotcakes and by the end of the business day, the display case was almost barren. Whatever was left over, Pinkie would have it given to less privileged families at no cost.

At first, I thought my concern would be that if they had given away so much, they'd lose out on profits. But thanks largely in part of the business that we'd get outside of Ponyville, we'd still keep the bakery above the water level. If there was any moment that we knew that there was to be a royal shipment to Canterlot, we'd know that there would be a large, and I mean LARGE, profit from the transactions.

In short, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were avid cake lovers.

By the end of the bi-weekly period, the checks finally get cut. While my check didn't originally didn't seem like a whole lot, I did keep in mind that my living expenses, consisting of utilities, groceries and small insurance fee, I had still come out with a decent profit. I wasn't one to complain about how the transactions were made, mainly because they were honest ponies. If this had been someone else, then I would've questioned their intentions. But so far, I have yet to come out of this situation unhappy. I was getting paid respectfully and I was very content with that.

In speaking of unhappy, I still haven't seen Twilight since our brief encounter in the castle. It seems that things have not simmered down as of yet, but the girls are nice enough to keep me updated. I still run errands from time to time, but it just so happens that Pinkie is there for over ninety percent of the time. Aside from that, I go out and help the others as long as Twilight isn't there with me.

Her request, not mine.

But I have managed to fit myself into a groove with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, even becoming an honorary member. On the days I spent my time with them, we'd do various activities that left us striving to breathe or frustrated. But either way, we still had tons of fun. Spike and I are still on neutral terms when it came to our interaction with one another. He was still suspicious of me since I had moved out of the castle. He knew what had went on between me and Twilight, and now he was trying to make sure that I wasn't trying to put the moves on Rarity instead.

I gotta hand it to that little guy, his dedication to protect her feelings was top-notch.

As far as the portal back to my world, the status is unknown. I guess since my departure from the castle, I had found myself in lack of that bit of information. As usual, my sexual deprivation continued to get worse, thanks to how busy I've become since last month. I'd start masturbating, but my body would soon enter shutdown mode before my imagination had started to get me going. Add all of that to the constant sexual tension growing between me and Pinkie Pie. She was a tease beyond words, yet her verbal disinterest, as well as my growing pain to see Twilight again, had pushed me back from even trying to get anything started. She still gives out hints that she does like me, but she still won't admit to them. She's still attached to that one guy named Cheese Sandwich.

I just hope that this trip to Badland Flats would take her mind off of things.

"Non-non, come downstairs!"

While I held onto the suitcase for dear life, I stumbled down the stairs, concerned that Pinkie might've been in trouble. As soon as I hit ground level, I set my bags down and ran up to her. "What's wrong?"

"Doi, we're gonna be late for the train!"

Rolling my eyes and giving myself a face-full of palm, I shook my head in disappointment. "The way you were screaming at me was almost like you were in some sort of trouble."

Pinkie ran to me, her muzzle pressing against my nose. "We're gonna be in bit trouble if we're late to the train station."

"Pinkie, the train we ride on doesn't even come into town till the next hour." I advised, looking at the clock on the wall that read 9:32 in the morning.

"I know that! But we still have to say goodbye to everypony!"

I took a deep breath, cringing at the thought of her going around the town to bid ponies farewell. "Just how much of everypony do you intend to say goodbye to?"

"Everypony in town! So I'd have to-"

There was no way I was going to let her run around town and say goodbye to every single pony. That would really make us late more than anything. Interrupting her explanation, I offered a better idea. "Pinkie, wouldn't the girls be enough? I'm sure that everypony doesn't need to know where we're going."

"But what if something was to happen to the trai-"

"Pinkie, the train is the safest method of travel right now." I could even argue that for my world with all the drama going on right now.

"I know, but-"

"We're just going to see your family on the rock farm. Is it all that bad?"

Pinkie paused for a quick second before she spoke. "Well... To be honest, Momma Pie's been wanting to meet you since that big case against you broke out. Dad's also been wanting to have a long talk with you. He said he didn't get a proper introduction to you because of the big case."

So I'm meeting her ma and pa. If their dull outwardly appearance is anything to go by, then I'd say I was going to have one of the most uninteresting times of my life. Well Sally-Sandpaper! I can't wait until the paint dries! "Okay. Did they say what we were going to talk about, anything specifically?"

She gave me a playful nudge, all while taking my bag to the door. "They just want to get to know you, Nonzie. It's not that much to ask."

"Pinkie, I'm just saying that I don't know if your parents would even like me." I admitted.

She cocked an eyebrow as she tilted her head to the side. "Why not?"

I looked at myself, raising my arms and twiddling my fingers in front of her to emphasize my point. "Because I'm not a pony."

If Shining Armor was anything to go by, then I'm pretty sure that they would be more purist than he was, is and ever will be. I can only assume that they'd crucify me or run me out of town trying. I just hope that the circus from two month prior had put a damper on that to where it's not so extreme.

"My parents aren't as conservative as you'd think. And plus you managed to score some serious brownie points for... well... that incident with Caramel."

Oh yeah, that epic ass-beating. Wow, I still can't believe I managed to come out of that alive. At the very least my headaches have gotten less painful and my nosebleeds non-existent. I guess I can thank Pinkie's sisters when we get off the train. "Right. That. So shouldn't we be going?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

She jumped up and looked at the clock. The time had shown that a full twenty minutes of bickering had left us with less time. "Oh, pickles! We really gotta leave! NOW!"

As she tossed the bags outside, she ran back to push me out the door. Trying to slam the breaks on her program, I tried to reason with her once more. "Pinkie, calm down."

"No way! I'm not calming down until we hit the train station! But before that, we have to say goodbye to everypony."

"What if I told you that they all were at the train station to wish us a safe trip? You know, something I had arranged for us to do so that this wouldn't take so long." I responded in deadpan.

Immediately, she stopped pushing me. "Oh. I guess that's a little easier to manage." She said, smiling and squeeing like a toy duck.

You think?

The train ride to the station in Badland Flats was a lengthly one. For a majority of the trip, she laid herself in my lap. As I watched over her, my mind had wandered back to the train station in Ponyville. Everyone was there to send us off, but there was one pony there who chose not to speak so much.

You guessed it. Twilight.

She would speak to Pinkie and acknowledged her whenever she had said something to her. But when I went to speak, I was consistently ignored. I could understand her desire to keep herself distant for my safety, but at this rate she seemed as if she was trying to keep herself under quarantine. I'd say hello, her attention would go to the others. It had gotten to the point where I eventually gotten frustrated and ignored her altogether.

Walking away from the platform, I went inside of the station to get myself something to drink. As I did, I saw Twilight following me inside. Continuing to ignore her, I had my drink as she only watched me. After several more minutes of it, I finally spoke to her.

"So, you wanna go on ahead and tell me why you're just stalking me?"

"..." She turned away, looking somewhere else as I walked right in front of her.

"So you're gonna try to ignore me while I'm in your face now?"

"..." Her eyes, not once did they even look my way. They acknowledged my presence and yet they still looked elsewhere.

I was more than fed up with it. "God dammit, Twi! Speak. To. Me!" I commanded through clenched teeth, almost wanting to place my hand on her jaw and force her to look at me in frustration.

Tears started to brim in her eyes as her lips finally parted. But instead of words, only faint gasps and sniffles had left her. I welled up in disgust over her response, or lack thereof. Finally realizing that I was a bit forceful, I decided to calm myself and lower my tone. As she looked at me, I took a knee, meeting with her just above her eye level.

"Twi, speak to me. Please. I haven't heard from you in so long. Just say something. 'Hello. Leave me alone. Fuck you. Go away.' Something, anything, please."

Her tears finally fell from her face as she quietly looked away from me. I tried to move to her direction, but she turned away. As I tried to reach out to her, she teleported to the other side of the room.

I felt myself ready to burst with anger. Shaking my head silently, I stormed off to the bathroom. Slamming the door behind me, I walked to the counter and ran some water at the highest level possible. After I did one sink, I move to the next, repeating my actions until every single sink was running full of water. Slamming my fists into the counter, I finally let out my bottled rage.

"FUCK!"

As I stared at myself in the reflection, I could see that, for the first time in a long time, my nosebleed came back up. My head was pulsing along with my increased heart rate. The unbearable pain of my headache sent me to the floor. I cursed myself for becoming this angry. My teeth gritted as I sat through the grating pain. The engraved image of her reactions seemed to have fueled my pain even more. I pounded my fists against the floor I sat on, hoping to let my hands take the beating rather than my brain. But as I did, a new sound came from the outside of the door.

As I looked over, I could see a letter being slipped under the door by use of magic. I knew it was Twilight who tried to ship the letter because of the magenta glow. It was unmatched by any other with the exemption of her brother. I reached out for it, taking it from the magical grasp. Instantly, the aura broke and I heard the familiar sound of hooves galloping off to the distance. I opened the letter quickly, hoping to get something from her. Answers, follow-ups, anything that could be useful. But instead, I had only gotten a paper full of empty space and a signature of two words.

I stood to my feet, opening the door, hoping to see her still. When I saw that she was out of sight, I called her name.

"Non-Non?"

"Huh?" I responded, snapping back to the present. I looked back down to see Pinkie hugging me tightly.

"Nondis, I know you're frustrated. But please, just forget about it. Okay?"

I looked over to my left, watching my fist as it unraveled itself. The very thought of what had happened at the train station was still troubling me. And all Pinkie wanted me to do was to cast it to the side.

In a way, she had a point.

This was supposed to be a time away from work, away from the stress of daily life, away from having to wonder what's all going on. I shouldn't have to focus myself on anything that would cause me any sort of pain. I needed to put all of this aside and just have fun. Or at least try to.

The train whistle sounded as we started to gradually slow down. I looked outside to see a rather depressing scenery. All I could see for miles on end were rocks. I could see a train station set upon a craggy steppe, mountains and buttes in the far distance. A few boulders were set at the end of the line. I had assumed that a landslide had taken place. I suppose that could be a problem for us, being that our destination was a little further south.

"We're here." Pinkie said softly as she rose off of me.

I blinked twice and looked back out to the station and to Pinkie. "We're where?" I asked.

"This is Badland Flats, my home."

I know it's rude to knock one's hometown, but seriously... What fucking planet am I even on? What happened to us being in Equestria? The rich shades of green, the crystal transparency of the waters, the trees waiving in the wind, the ponies traveling up and down the street, there wasn't anything like that here. It almost seemed as if we had traveled back into a primordial age, or more towards a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

And don't even get me started on how such a lively pony such as Pinkie Pie was even conceived and raised in such a desolate location. She seemed so... out of place.

I grabbed my bag and took to the train's exit. As I looked back over to the large boulders blocking the rails, I turned my attention back to Pinkie. "Hey, you think the train would be delayed a little longer, thanks to that rockslide?"

"Actually, this is the end of the line. Anything further south of here is dragon country." She answered as she dragged her bag along. As she was dragging it, I had taken notice of the colorful streamers and confetti that trailed behind it.

A stark contrast of color in comparison to the gray and lifeless world I was introduced to.

"Hey, don't you think with our-"

"The farm is about three miles out. We can hoof it from here." She said enthusiastically.

Somehow, I had a feeling that I wasn't going to enjoy the scenic route all that much.

About three miles and forty minutes of walking later, my arms had started to feel like freshly-cooked spaghetti. I had to carry my bags for a majority of the way due to the inconsistency of the ground. If I had to roll this thing anymore than what I did, then the wheels would've broken off, something that I wouldn't look forward to when I had gotten back to Ponyville. Pinkie continued her upbeat pace until we had reached the outside gates of an old farm. I had started to walk right past it if it wasn't for Pinkie grabbing my attention.

"Non-nums, you're gonna miss our turn."

I stopped to look back to her, seeing that I had left her behind. As I walked back to her, I could see her opening the lock on the gate. "So this is our stopping point for the day?"

"Actually, we're here. This is the rock farm my family has owned for generations now."

I looked at the craggy, gray, lifeless scene and all I could see was a rusty silo, a barn, a house and a busted windmill with a blade or three missing.

As we walked onto the farm, it took us a little bit more walking to get to the house. My mood was already sour from the events in Ponyville, this place just seemed to depress me even more. I know I sound like I'm complaining, but even with my grandparents running a farm in the country, we still had some greenery to ease our boredom. This was as dull as a sack of rocks.

No pun intended.

"♫We're heeere!♪" She sang loudly, hoping to get the attention of whoever was here.

As we approached the house, the front door opened and revealed a mature brown colt with gray hair and yellow eyes. Following him was a light gray mature mare with grayish-green mane wrapped in a bun. As they both came out, two other mares dashed out to greet us. It was then where I had met the familiar faces of Blinkie and Inkie. The quickly embraced Pinkie with open hooves, welcoming me as well.

"Huh, that strange." I mumbled out loud. "Shouldn't there be more of you guys. Where's Maud?"

"I'm right here." She sounded as she came out from behind me, causing me to jump.

"Ah! Where did you come from?"

Maud walked up to her sister, giving her a quick nuzzle. "I was taking Boulder out for his afternoon walk. He likes the fresh air."

Honestly, there was nothing fresh here. The only thing I can smell was the dust in the air. "Well... who doesn't?" I asked nervously.

There was little exchange between me an anyone else as I uneasily looked to the family of six ponies in front of me. The stallion walked up to me, tilting his body to get a better view of me. "So, you're that one guy that stood up for Pinkie." He said with a similar southern drawl like mine.

"Mr. Igneous, right? I can honestly say that it's an honor to meet you for a second time." I said, quietly bringing my hand out to shake his. Er... hoof. I'm still not exactly used to formal greetings with ponies.

Looking at my hand with obvious disgust, he rejected my formality out of concern for my appearance. "Quite. Where ya from, boy?"

"Texas."

He looked at me with an expression that could be read in only one way: this boy is stupid beyond words. "Son, that a size. Not a place of residence."

"Well, in my world where I'm from, it's a state." I added, hoping to clarify the subject.

"Does it have a city?"

Counting out the cities on my hand, I named the ones that came off the top of my head. "Lots. Dallas, San Antonio, Fort Worth, Waco, Arlington, Austin's where I was born and raised, the list goes on. It's a pretty big state."

"So I take it that everything's bigger there too?" He asked sarcastically, still not believing me.

Surprisingly, yes. "You could say that. They always say in my country that everything's bigger in Texas."

"Hmm... I suppose you don't know what kind of minerals are there, do you?"

Figures, rocks is all he knew what to talk about. Texas geography, don't fail me now. "Um... granite and cinnabar? I think you can find some nice Llanite if you look hard enough."

His mocking expressions had completely melted off of his face. It seemed that my talk of minerals had managed to somehow convince his one-track mind that the land of Texas had actually existed. Even his wife started to share his disbelief. Maud seemed to show an interest, or not. Inkie and Blinkie had definitely shown interest.

"How about Amethyst?" Inkie asked curiously.

"The most common kinds are purple."

The family started to mumble amongst themselves. Pinkie pranced up and down as she saw that they were warming up a bit. "I told you guys that you would like him!"

"Pinkie, why don't you get your stuff settled in your room." The elder mare instructed to her daughter.

"Will do, ma." The pink party mare sounded off as she grabbed my bags, as well as hers, and left to the inside of the house. Inkie, Blinkie and Maud all followed after her.

Igneous turned around to follow his daughters inside "Why don't ya come on in? Got some refreshments inside."

His wife quickly trotted behind me to push me in after him. "And I can make you a mean batch of rock quarry tea."

So being that this is a family that specializes in rocks of all sorts, is it possible that they could actually make tea from a rock? I heard from Pinkie that they could make rock candy from actual rocks. But to actually brew it into a batch of tea, I think I'm a little more than confused. Next, they'll be telling me that you could actually get blood from a stone.

"Heh heh... I can't wait."

Squeak. Creak. Squeak. Creak. Squeak. Creak.

That is the sound that I've been hearing since the four sisters retired to the upstairs rooms, all while I sat in the den of the Pie Family home. Igneous continued to rock back and forth silently, reading his newspaper as his wife, Quartz, hummed in the confines of the kitchen. For ten minutes, I was treated to nothing but the grating sound of the wooden rocking chair swinging back and forth.

Squeak. Creak. Squeak. Creak. Squeak. Creak.

The ticking of the clock became a metronome of sorts. I had actually started to catch a pattern of the squeaks in correlation to the sixty seconds that ticked off of the grandfather clock on the other side of the room. I silently listened in for the seconds that burned off the clock, represented by T, as well as the timing between squeak, represented by S, and creak, represented by C.

You know you've lost your mind id you're calculating the sounds of a rocking chair to that of a clock as if it was a math equation. But when you're bored, you gotta do whatever it takes to keep yourself from going completely ape shit.

Squeak. Creak. Squeak. Creak. Squeak. Creak.

So as the seconds went by, my mind started to calculate the equation as a wave line. S being the peak and C being the trough. Every three seconds, the wavelength would match up with that of the clock. And within those three seconds I had calculated two S's and two C's. 2S+2C=3T. Sixty divided by three equals twenty. Twenty multiplied by two equals forty. In the end, every minute, I had heard that fucking chair go 'squeak and creek' a total of forty times. Now lets multiply that by ten.

I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE!

No seriously, I could pull the skin off of my skull and dig into my brains with a wooden spoon. That's how fucking annoyed I am right now. There's jack shit for me to do here. I've started to know what fucking notes the damn squeaks and creaks sounded like. I'm about to lose my fucking mind.

"You hear that sound, boy?" Igneous muttered from behind the page of the newspaper, aptly named the Equestrian Informer. "That is the sound of the Pie Family pride. Generations of rock farmers sat here in this very spot, doing what we do now. Reading our newspapers for weather changes, our wives making us batches of tea and our foals upstairs, studying to carry on with our family tradition."

Really, I couldn't hear that much past the sound of a handsaw cleaving through my skull. At this point, I'd be lucky to hear myself think.

"Years ago, I sat where you once did. My father-in-law sat here in this old chair, rocking in it as I do now. I couldn't stand how he used to be silent for minutes at a time. Every now and then, he'd find something interesting in the newspaper, causing him to stop rocking. But after a second or two, he'd carry on back to rocking."

This has got to be one of the most troll-like traditions in all of creation. I couldn't believe that he kept his mouth shut, just to annoy the living shit out of me. If he was trying to do this to ward off any potential tail-chasers, then he pretty much won Father of the Year.

"Don't misunderstand, we have a lot to talk about. But just be warned, you won't be the only fella that gets this kind of treatment. I expect to do this with all of my daughters' bring-in's. You just so happen to be the first in a while."

Scratching my head, I thought about who could've been the first to endure this torment. "Who was the first?"

"A city boy. From Manehattan. Don't recall his name, but he never came back after I had put him to work. He had an interest in my eldest daughter, Inkie."

"So, did you have any visitors from then on?"

"Well, Blinkie had brought in a unicorn gal who was lookin' for a place to stay."

"A friend of hers?"

"I'll let Blinkie tell you about that one. She was... an odd character to be honest. Not quite right to me."

Wait, did he just imply that Blinkie was... Nah. "So, any others?"

"You're the third. So no. Pinkie's had her share of colts, but never found pride in them to bring 'em here. Inkie only had that one colt she brought over, so far she hasn't brought him over since. Blinkie just brought that one gal. And Maud doesn't have an interest in relationships, which concerns me."

"I see..." In my opinion, I never took Maud to be one to attract colts. She always seemed so disinterested in anything to even care about being in a full-fledged relationship that could turn into something serious. As a father of four daughters, I could see his concern. The Pie line carries on through the will of those four mares, and neither one has shown to have a promising addition to the family.

Quarts came walking in, holding a tray of cups and a kettle in her mouth. As she sat the items on the table before me, she poured me a steaming cup of tea. "It's not the best in taste, I'll tell you what, but it does causes your nerves to jump. You'll be more cocked than a rooster at dawn."

As I stared at the brown, murky tea before me, I saw Quartz pouring her husband a cup of the steaming beverage. I picked up the cup and the saucer it sat on. Blowing into the cup, I made sure that my first sip wasn't going to disintegrate my tongue upon impact. Finally feeling brave enough, I took my first sip of the tea.

Oh God, what in the actual fuck is this shit!?

I know it's rude to spit out a host's drink so carelessly in front of them, but my body was doing everything it could to make sure that I wasn't going to swallow it. When she had said that it wasn't big in taste, she was clearly understating what the issue really was. Nerves jumping? Yeah, out of a ten-story building with no parachute or bungee wires. Cocked? Like a twelve-gauge, ready to blast chunks. This tea tasted like brine water that's been sitting in a well for over a decade, with sugar and honey to ease the taste.

"How ya feeling, sweetie?" Quartz asked me, smiling.

Swallowing the contents of the cup as quickly as possible, I tried my best to smile. "Not bad, not bad at all."

Igneous rose from his seat, walking towards the stairwell. "Inkie, Blinkie, Maud, come on downstairs. Pinkie, you can stay up there for a minute."

While I tried my best to stomach the bitter-tasting brew, the three summoned mares appeared from the top of the stairs. "Yes?"

"Our guest here seems a bit bored. I want you all to show this young fella here to the southern fields. Break him in with something simple and work him on up. Get him involved and make sure that he stays busy. Ya hear?"

"Yes, sir." The three mares sounded before pulling me out the front door quicker than I could voice my objections. As we made our way out, he called back upstairs.

"Pinkie, you come help your ma cook."

Several hours later, the time had started to grow late. As I came in my work in the fields, I felt my entire body throbbing from the work in the field. If this was something that Applejack had to deal with on a daily basis, then I could see why the Apple Family scarcely has any help with their usual harvest.

Throughout my time here on the farm, I had crushed boulders, hammered rocks, mined for minerals, shifted rocks to certain areas for the sake of erosion due to winds, stacked rocks, broke older stacks down to scatter them across the windy fields, help push a boulder across the field and chiseled some stone out of the quarry. After all of this, then it was time for dinner. Pinkie called the four of us inside. As we all entered, Igneous stood by the door, saying that he wanted to make sure that I had fulfilled my quota.

I don't even work here and I have a quota to fill in order to eat? That's some old bullshit there.

After the girls explained my assignments, he escorted me through the fields. As we toured the areas I worked on, I could feel my heart beating inside of my legs. With each area we toured, he told me what exactly I had did wrong, what I could do to improve and complimented me on what I had did right.

Of course, his version of a compliment was a simple nod before moving on to the next item on the list.

After an evaluation of my efforts on the southern fields, he had come to his conclusion.

"You need to break a few more rocks. You've done a lot in comparison to the last colt Inkie had brought over, but I want you to meet your quota before you come inside and eat."

Fuck! I was out here for six hours. And after all of that hard work, I still need to do more? This is completely bullshit.

He shifted over three rocks, all of them big enough to match the size of my head. Thankfully, I still had strength enough to drive a hammer into all of them. I cracked open the first, revealing some rather impressive jewels. He hummed and nodded his head as he pointed to the next one. I split open the second, seeing that there was very little inside. He only nodded to that as he pointed to the final one. I smashed the third, venting my frustrations as it was a challenge to crack open. He shook his head and pointed back to the splintery remnants of the rock.

"I had you try to break this one so that you could see that not all minerals are to be broken upon excavation. That was the remnants of a mineral called hematite, commonly known as iron ore."

I groaned in defeat as I let my arms rest against the small hammer I held. "So... what do you do with this? Smelt it into iron?"

"That's not our job. We export what ores we can find and they are turned into metals. By then, we are given a percentage of the profits. It sounds like it would make more sense to do this ourselves, but we don't specialize in that kind of work. These ores would be sent to those who could smelt the minerals properly and efficiently."

I get it. They could train themselves to learn how to smelt the minerals, but to do so without the necessary supplies and equipment would prove to be wasteful. All it would do is diminish the quality of the metal. I guess that's why they have specific divisions whenever it came to mining coal, oil and other things back at home.

"But you've done more than enough here. Why don't you head inside? Dinner should be just now getting off the stove."

As I sluggishly walked back to the house, I had noticed that he had started to open up to me about the family profession. He had told me a few details about what else they did here, why they did them, what they also needed to do and how they were preparing to do it.

When we had hit the table, I was more than preparing myself for the meal that I was going to partake in. For the first time in years, I was literally saying grace. Why would I do such a thing? Because after the rock-based tea I had drank earlier, I was just seconds short of blasting my breakfast all over the fields. I didn't even believe in God, yet I was praying in multiple languages as if I was a bible-thumping fanatic.

A good way of seeing if this almighty being existed is to pray that the food was pleasing to the tongue and non-lethal. If he didn't, then I would die. If he did, I'd finish eating my dinner. Of course, I would still question his existence after the very delicious dinner I had managed to receive. After about two to three rounds, I had taken my shower and readied myself for bed. But unfortunately, I was delayed by two things.

The first thing was that they didn't have a bed set up for me. The second thing was that Maud, Inkie and Blinkie were keeping me awake by probing me with questions. Many of which had pertained to the world I had came from. As time progressed, I had told them about our society, what we saw as fun, what our mediums of entertainment were, the parallels of some of the cities here in Equestria.

They literally dropped their jaws through the floor as soon as I had told them that Manehattan had sounded like a pun on the borough of Manhattan. They grew even more shocked when I had said that the population was well over 1.5 million. Then they explained to me that the city of Manehattan, Equestria's largest city, had well over eight-hundred thousand ponies in residence there. So imagine the shit they flipped when I had told them that the city of New York, including Manhattan, was actually eight-million plus. It seemed that the populations varied differently between our dimensions. Their largest city along with their metro was about the size of my hometown, city-wise. Including the metropolitan area of Austin, it's a lot bigger.

It's a small world after all.

After our conversations about my world and it's parallels with this one, the girls and I have decided to change the subject to one that I wasn't too fond of for the moment. Maud, Inkie and Blinkie had started to ask me about my relationships in my world. When I had told them about my not having one that extended past the boundaries of friendship, they stared at me slack-jawed. With everything I did for their baby sister, they were baffled by my inability to attract a mate. I soon clarified that I wasn't exactly the most attractive of my species. In fact, I was consider as one of the more unattractive ones.

At this point, they all had started their own little tirade of why my society, or at least the girls of it, should find an interest in me. But when I had explained to them about my previous life habits and how much Equestria had changed me, they seemed to argue their opinions even more.

"I just don't get it!" Inkie exclaimed as she paced back and forth across the room.

"Inkie, I was a shut-in who didn't care about anyone else. I wasn't going to get any attention even if I wanted it."

Blinkie softly patted me on the back. "I understand that, but still, you've changed for the better. All of Ponyville seemed to be on your side when they had heard what had happened to you. A lot of ponies do care about you, so I just don't see why humans could be any different."

"That's because our views and morals are so skewed. We praise those who'd dance on the stage, shaking their asses, singing songs about money, parties, sex and their emotional breakups, but we wouldn't give five minutes for the ones who sacrificed life and limb for our countries. Sometimes, they're even seen as murderers. Granted, some of those individuals are screwed up, but a majority are still good people."

Maud tilted her head down, still keeping her stoic expression. "Wow, the human world sounds a lot worse than what it is here in Equestria."

"We have our light moments, yeah. But it's just the time we're in. The world is caught in conflict, planes are falling from the sky and running into buildings, the rich is stealing from the poor, political corruption, broken homes, people who judge others for what they do and how they live, people killing each other-"

Blinkie jumped from behind to in front of me, interrupting me. "Can you name one good thing about your world?"

"Huh?"

"Let's say that I was willing to pay your world a visit. What would be your pitch to get me to go there?"

It took me a while to come up with some legitimate reasons to get her to come to my world, despite her inability to do so as well as her disinterest. "Well... Our technology has greatly advanced past what you have in Equestria. Everyone is social in our own way, even me, a shut in, was able to play games online with hundreds of thousands of people around the globe. My country specifically, you didn't have to worry too much about not having a place to stay. We have homeless shelters. Some of us care for our environment. We all care for each other if we become close enough."

Inkie grew a devious smirk as she opted to change the subject. "In speaking of close enough, what do you think about our sister?"

Maud hummed in agreement. "Yeah. I don't know if you've noticed, but she seems to really have a thing for you."

What do I tell them? What do I say? I know that this isn't Pinkie who's asking me these kind of questions, but I'm still nervous about answering them. But I know that I shouldn't take too long to answer. "Well... I... Like her. But as a friend. She said that she wanted us to be friends."

The three mares stared at me in silence, questioning my response. Maud was the first to break the looming silence. "That's it?"

"Well-"

Blinkie, completely dumbfounded at my short response, was the first to object to my response. "No way that's what you think of our baby sister. To take a beating like you did and just say something so casual."

"Really. I'm serious."

"When you got into that fight that evening, we heard you yelling at Caramel from way down the street." Inkie recalled as she went on to speak. "You were screaming at him about how you thought Pinkie was special, beautiful, wonderful."

"You even said that she was awesome and funny." Blinkie cheerfully added.

Dropping my head in defeat, I confirmed their statements. "She is. She's all of those things. No one should have to validate her on that."

"So is she special to you?" Maud asked outwardly.

"Yes! For fucks sake, she's my friend."

Blinkie jumped back into the conversation as she walked over to her bed. "Didn't you say that she said, and I quote, being friends is all she ever wanted you two to be?"

"Well, yeah-"

All three of the sisters moaned in disgust. "And you believed that!? For how long?" Inkie asked.

"Well, she told me that a month ago."

"Don't you live with her?" Maud inquired.

"I do, for now."

The questions came flying at me like bullets in a war zone. My only way to counter their offensive was to answer them as quickly as I could. Inkie was the next one to fire her weapon. "Has she ever spent some alone time with you? Not like that, but just in general?"

"Of course."

Blinkie fired next. "How often is it?"

"Like every night."

Maud took her shot at me next. "Are you really that dumb?"

"Trust me, I asked her about it just last month. All she did was yell at me."

The three ponies sighed, finally giving me some time to recover from the onslaught of questions. Inkie laughed to herself. "That's typical Pinkamena for you."

I crooked my head to the side, still questioning what Inkie had meant by her statement. "Why do you say that?"

Maud placed her hooves on my hands. As I looked at her, I could no longer see the stoic expression that she was so fond of wearing. Instead, I had saw genuine worry. Even the tone of her voice had lightened. "Because, Pinkie has a habit of keeping secrets. She makes promises to others and would even go to extremes to keep those secrets from getting out. She does the same thing to herself at times. What she says to you may be, and I repeat, may be an invitation to go even further with her."

I think I'm starting to get it. Now I can see how she could be so resilient on why she wanted to keep me at a distance. It all makes sense now. "So, you're saying that Pinkie actually-"

"WHATCHA DOIN!?"

"SHIT!" I screamed, looking back to the pink pony who snuck up behind me. Clasping my chest and collecting my breath, I stared at the pink mare with relief. "Pinkie, don't scare me like that."

Pinkie, who was fresh out of the shower, had decided to bring me a set of sheets as well as a pillow. "Sorry Non-Non. But I came here to tell you that your bed is ready."

Feeling excited, started to happily march out of the room. "Great! Well I guess that's my cue, ladies. I'm gonna hit the hay. Pinkie and I have a train to catch early in the morning."

Pinkie called back to me, causing me to pause in place. "Actually, Nonz... The train is delayed until sometime tomorrow afternoon. We wouldn't get back to Ponyville until sometime in the evening. So you can relax and sleep in come tomorrow morning, but I'd still prefer that we'd get some sleep now."

"So we can stay up?" I jokingly asked.

"No! You are tired and your energy is drained from all that hard work in the field. You need to rest." She chided, pushing me out of their bedroom and into the guest room next door.

"Okay."

Pinkie walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. "Goodnight, Nonzie."

"Night, Pinkie." I called back out to her.

Remaining quiet, I crept up to the door and opened it just a crack. As I opened my ears to hear what was going on down the hall, I had heard Pinkie's hoofsteps walking down the hall and into the other room. "What's been going on, ladies?"

"Pinkie, we were just talking about how he was living with you and the relationship you two have." Blinkie's voice sounded out from further down the hall.

"We don't have a relationship." Pinkie answered, sounding depressed.

"Pinkie, we all know what you want. Even he knows it. Just tell him already." Inkie advised.

"...I will on my own time."

"Pinkie, you don't have time. What if he leaves to his world tomorrow?" Blinkie voiced, sharing her disdain for her younger sister's inability to tell me the truth.

"He isn't! I just need some time to get everything sorted out."

Maud took an even darker approach. "You know, you could never get a chance to say it to him. Who's to say that he doesn't wake up in the morning?"

"Don't speak like that. DON'T EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!" Pinkie shouted to the top of her lungs. If I was surprised by her sudden outburst, then I'm pretty sure that the others were as well.

"Pinkie-"

"I know what I feel! And..." I heard the sound of a body flopping into a mattress. Suddenly, Pinkie's voice became muffled. "I'm just so confused."

"Over what?" Inkie questioned her baby sister.

"...The day before we came here... I had gotten my letter from Cheese Sandwich."

My eyes had shot open. I remembered that she had a thing for him, but I had almost forgotten that he would be sending her a letter to tell her whether he'd still go after her or if he had decided to move on. I couldn't believe that she had gotten the letter and didn't even bother to tell me.

Or then again, she was good at hiding secrets. That was always her major flaw.

"Oh. So what did he say?" Blinkie asked while I leaned my ear even further into the hallway.

"...Goodnight girls."

To my disappointment, she had completely dismissed the question and started to go to her bed. I removed myself from the doorway. Closing the door, I could still hear Maud talking to her younger sister. "Pinkie, you can't run away from this."

"I know. I just need some time to work it all out is all."

"You talk to him tomorrow or we will." Inkie sternly warned her younger sister.

"Goodnight girls." Pinkie answered dismissively. I could still hear the creaking of a mattress next door. I assumed that it was her finally turning herself in for the night.

"Goodnight, ya big mule." Blinkie joked as the other girls followed the example of their youngest sibling.

I stayed awake a little longer than what I would've liked. My mind was filled with questions, all of which concerned my opinion towards Pinkie. At the very least, she validated my suspicions from last month. But there was still the matter of the letter. What did Cheese say? Why didn't she answer them? Why is she avoiding the subject so much? I guess I'll have to find out tomorrow.

Morning came and gone. As I allowed myself to rest, I prepared myself to take my baggage in my arms again. But luckily, the afternoon came and we were both escorted to the train station. Maud carried my bag for me out of a request from Pinkie. And judging from the girls decision not to pull me to the side, I was going to get the truth from Pinkie today. At least I knew what was coming.

I knew what she had felt for me, but she didn't know what I had felt towards her.

The rocks that stood in front of the tracks had been cleared, allowing the train to make a round about and come back to the station. As we loaded up our belongings, Pinkie avoided any conversation with me. But despite her lack of words, her actions were very apparent. While she didn't say anything, she stayed extremely close to me. Almost every second, I could feel her pink coat brushing up against my skin. Everywhere I walked, she followed. Every time I spoke to another pony, she showed some concern and jealousy. And when we had gotten on the train, the first place she sat was on my lap.

I don't know what those girls may have said this morning, but it sure did wake her up a bit.

Hours later. I found myself nodding off to sleep from the long train ride. The occasional bumps on the rail did keep me awake, but Pinkie stayed awake the entire time. The only thing she did was stare at the passing scenery. Eventually, she took her eyes away from the window to look back up to me.

"Non-Non." She finally spoke to me for the first time today. "Do you like staying with me?"

Yawning from boredom, I paid her no mind as I answered her. "Of course I do."

She returned her sights to the window, watching the Everfree Forest pass by. "That's good."

Stretching and cracking my neck, I woke myself up, knowing that Ponyville wasn't even ten minutes from here. "Why did you ask me that?"

"I just wanted to know." She answered as she leaned back into her own seat.

As Ponyville came into view, I could see the bright crystal tree that stood at the heart of the town. Aside from being the tallest building in Ponyville, it stood out from the town. The sunset-lit buildings of Ponyville were more earth-toned and modest in comparison to the gleaming crystal tree that loomed over the town. I caught myself looking at Ponyville, realizing that I had never gotten a chance to leave this place. It also made me realize just how large the town was from a distance. The town was small in population, but large in area. I guess that's because there's a booming agriculture industry here. But there was one thing that became more of a distraction to me.

"Non-nums."

"Yes?" I said as my mind wandered to the large castle in the center of town.

"Do you miss being with Twilight?"

Being honest, I do. Way more than what I'd ever thought possible. "Well, I'm not gonna lie. It's taken some getting used to."

"So if you stayed with me from the start, then would you and I be as close as you and Twilight were?"

That was something to think about. I do remember her being the very first thing I saw when I had first arrived here. Even as we talked about where I could stay, her place was a candidate as the castle and Fluttershy's cottage was. But it was because of Twilight's unusual knowledge of humans behavior and dietary needs that I was left in her care.

Now that I'm thinking about it, why would she ask me something like that? I know that Pinkie can be a bit random when it came to questions, but that question was just weird, even for her. "Where are you getting at?"

"I was just curious."

I chuckled to myself. "Curiosity killed the cat."

"But the satisfaction had brought it back." Pinkie rebutted.

After that, we didn't speak very much. We just watched as the train ran into the town. Passing over the Ponyville Creek, I looked at the pink party pony sitting next to me. Her mane had partially deflated again. Something was on her mind, and I could tell that it wasn't good.

"So... How are things?" I playfully asked, earning a giggle.

"Things are great."

"Well that's nice." I said as I poked her on the muzzle, causing her to laugh some more.

"You're silly." She said as she nudged me a little bit.

"...Why do you like me?"

She stopped laughing and smiled as she looked to the window again, seeing that we were a short ways away from the train station. "I'll tell you when we get home. How does that sound?"

"Well, I would prefer that you told me now."

"Well, I don't wanna say it until we get home."

Groaning in frustration, I threw my arms into the air. "Why not?"

"Because what I want to say to you should stay behind closed doors. Doors that nopony else would have the keys to."

The train station had came into our windows just as we started to stall. Soon, the train came to a screeching halt. Pinkie had grabbed both of our bags and started to run towards the nearest door. Meanwhile, I was still stretching from the long journey. "So you do like me?"

The train whistle sounded, letting us know that it was safe to leave. "This is our stop. Grab your bags."

I had grabbed the handle of my bag, rolling it along as I walked out to the platform. "Pinkie- Ow!"

Before I could finish my sentence, she bit down on my hand, dragging me towards Sugarcube Corner. "We're here. Come on, slowpoke!"

"Pinkie, you're pulling a little too hard." I complained, noting that my arms were still a little sore from yesterday's activities on the rock farm. There wasn't anything too painful about her bite, however.

Running down the streets of Ponyville, I dragged my bag along as Pinkie dragged me towards the bakery. I had only seen her run like this once, and that was when we were being followed. But there was no one following us this time. The only thing that awaited for us at the bakery was privacy. Before long, we had ran through most of Ponyville and stopped at the doorstep of Sugarcube Corner. Flicking her mane, Pinkie tossed a set of keys out and held it in the pink tendril of her front curl.

"We're home." She said, finally letting go of me.

Leaning down to catch my breath, I looked up to the mare that dragged me across town. Literally. "Pinkie, slow down for just one-"

"Do you want to know how I feel about you?" She interrupted, transferring the keys to her hoof.

"Let me guess, you really like me." I answered sarcastically.

Yet despite my mocking tone, the next thing I felt was her lips pressing into mine. My eyes locked onto her with surprise as she pressed herself against me even further. Though the exchange was brief, it was memorable. The taste of cotton candy still lingered on my lips. Two sapphire spheres stared back at me with longing.

"Nondis, I'm gonna warn you. When this door opens, we're going to walk inside. And wherever we stop, whether it's on my bed, the stairs or on top of one of these tables, I'm gonna show you how I felt about you since you saved me from Caramel."

"Pinkie-"

Giving me another peck on the lips, she shushed me with her free foreleg. "No more words, not until we get inside."

"Don't you think we're rushing-"

My words failed to reach her as she started to fumble the keys against the lock. "Come on, you stupid key! Turn left and... GOT IT!"

The door swung wide open as Pinkie dragged me inside. As soon as we walked into the bakery, we were met with a familiar face. Both she and I froze as we saw Cup Cake cleaning off the tables.

"Oh... Hello Mrs. Cake." Pinkie sounded almost shocked that she was even here. I looked to the clock on the wall as it read 6:18 in the evening.

"Pinkie. Thank goodness you've made it home safely." Cup said as she gave her favorite employee a hug. "How was the trip?"

"It was fine. So are you closing up shop this evening?"

Cup sounded nervous as she looked towards the kitchen. "Actually, I'm here because of... well..."

"Pinkie? Pinkie Pie?"

Both Pinkie and I had been caught off-guard by the voice that sounded from the kitchen. As the doors swung wide open, a brown earth-pony stallion with curly hair and green eyes held a box of cupcakes. I looked to Pinkie to ask if she had known him, but her shocked expression showed me that she did. In fact, she knew him all too well.

"Cheese... You're here." She whimpered.

Long chapter. I told myself that I didn't need to update this anymore times this month. I tried to convince myself that I had surpassed the monthly quota of 4 updates.
I don't need to, I don't need to, I don't need to. I don't, but I want to. But here I am with update #6. This time, I'm more than certain that no more updates would come up until next month. I'm trying to shoot for the 4th. I hope that the chapter was somewhat enjoyable.

"Cheese... You're here."

My eyes darted from Pinkie to the colt in the kitchen doorway and back to her again. It was obvious that this guy was the pony in the photo in the hallway outside of her room. This was Cheese Sandwich, the pony she had strong feelings for prior to my meddling. But why was he here?

"Mr. Sandwich had came by to pay you a visit just earlier this morning. I told him that you were out of town and that you could be coming back home by no later than the final afternoon rush. Of course, I was mistaken. But as he showed his desire to speak with you, I allowed him to stick around." Cupcake informed Pinkie. "Oh, what it is to be young and in love."

"In love?" Pinkie and I asked. I cocked an eyebrow while she covered her mouth and gasped. I saw that words wanted to escape from her lips, but she was reluctant to let herself speak so freely.

"Why yes!" Cup confirmed. "He's been here all day, ranting on about how much he missed you and how bad he's been wanting to come back to Ponyville just to see you, Pinkie."

At least I know what that letter was. He was confirming his feelings for her. I remembered what she had told me during my second month here. He said that he would send her a letter saying whether he was to come by and stay or talk about how everything's been since he's decided to move on.

"But... what are you doing here, Cheese?"

"I sent my letter over a week ago. But you didn't send anything back. To be honest, I had gotten really worried."

A WEEK!? So she was lying about when she had received it? "Wait, if you got it just yesterday, then how did-"

"I guess I should clear the air about the letter situation. There was a mix up with the local mailmare and several other letters. We had even gotten one addressed to Filthy Rich. So after everything had gotten straightened out, that's when we started to get our mail again."

Wow, I've heard about the local mailmare being a bit clumsy, but I've always dismissed those rumors. I guess they were true after all. But then again, everyone makes mistakes.

"I didn't get a chance to write you. I'm sorry." Pinkie said as she started to backpedal to the door.

Cheese Sandwich ran after her, giving her a heartfelt hug. "Pinkie, it's okay. I'm here. I just wanted to see you, especially after being away from you for so long."

"Cheese-"

He broke off his hug and smiled enthusiastically as he held on to her. "I really do want to be with you. That's why I've decided to make Ponyville my newest base of operations!"

"You WHAT!?" Pinkie shouted in a high pitch, completely blown away from the news.

"Yeah, I know! Quite a whammy, huh?"

Pinkie almost smiled as she looked at the stallion, but became even more depressed as she saw me standing far behind him alongside Cup Cake. "Cheese, you can't do that."

"I chose to because I wanted to. And besides, where else could be better when I have one of Equestria's best here in town?"

"You don't have to do that. I never asked for that." She argued.

"You asked me if I was interested in taking root here in town. I said at first that it wasn't likely due to my travels. But now, I know where I can come back to. After long days of planning and partying, I could come back home to celebrate the one thing I-"

Suddenly, she gently pushed the brown stallion off of her, frowning as she looked to him. "Just stop, please."

Taken aback, Cheese backed away from her in confusion. "Huh? What did I say?"

"You don't mean anything. You're just here to-"

He stood before her yet again, this time holding her foreleg in his. He clasped the pink hoof with both of his own. "Pinkie Pie, I am... I really do like you. I-I want to be here for you. I want to help you make others smile and I want to make you smile."

She turned away from him, pulling her hoof out of his. "You can't be here for me. You shouldn't be here."

He walked around her, trying to look her in the eye. "And I am. My heart never really left Ponyville. And even it did, it would find you wherever you left to."

"No!" She exclaimed, stomping her hoof into the ground.

Taking a deep breath, Cheese wrapped his hoof around her as she stared out the window. I could see in the reflection that she was already producing tears. "Pinkie... I think... I AM in love with you. And every waking second that I've spent away from you have been slow and painful. I can't bear with the weight of not being around you. It kills me."

For a silent moment, he quietly stroke her mane and back as she started to sniffle. A small but frail smile showed on her lips, but soon collapsed as she looked back to the figure in the window's reflection; she saw me. "I... I can't."

The stallion halted his motions and backed away in disbelief. "...Why not?"

"I don't know." She sounded out as her voice broke.

Cup walked up to her and offered to comfort her. "Pinkie, what are you saying? Cheese came all this way to-"

"I DON'T KNOW!" The pink mare shouted loudly. She walked over to the brown stallion and nuzzled him gently. "I just wanna make everypony happy! But I can't. I like Cheese because he can make me smile. He never stopped being wonderful to me. I never felt so happy as when I'm close to him. He brings me joy and he's willing to go distances for me. He actually loves me and I love him. But..."

"But?" Cup inquired.

She then left the company of Cheese and ran towards me, deeply nuzzling against me. "But Nondis makes me feel secure. He protects me like no other. He's willing to sacrifice himself for me and I can't thank him enough. He's willing to talk to me about some of my most painful secrets and he never tells a soul. He's a true friend and I can't bear to hurt him like this. Or you."

Finally seeing an opportunity to speak, I opened my mouth to voice my opinion. "Pinkie, it's okay if you-"

"NO IT'S NOT! I can't choose between two stallions who can show me as much compassion as the both of you. I won't." She whimpered as she backed away from me and backtracked to the stairs.

Cheese called out to her. "Pinkie-"

"I'm so sorry, both of you!" She finally erupted in a fit of tears, running up the stairs to take comfort in her room. Cheese reached out for her, but his body failed to respond. I stood in a guilty silence as his ears folded and the brightness in his eyes soon waxed cold.

"So, Pinkie loves you?" He whispered to me in a gloomy tone.

"Well, yeah. But I-"

"So she's decided to move on then?" He asked, sounding heartbroken.

"No! That's the problem. She's stuck on you and she's interested in me. I don't want her to-"

Slamming both of his forelegs into the ground, he turned to face me head-on. "I won't accept this. I can't let Pinkie be down because of you!"

Feeling confronted, I stepped forward in response. "Me!? How about you!? You've been roaming the countryside and she's been running into her ex boyfriend-"

"Caramel..." He mumbled.

I wanted to carry out my rant, but was silenced by his apparent knowledge of the infamous ex. "Oh. You've met that bastard too?"

He nodded his head in agreement. "I've been notified by Pinkie that he had hooked up with her in the past. And after their first time sharing a bed, he left her alone." I started to see him grow even more tense at the mention of her story. It was obvious that he was already angry with him as it is.

Imagine his reaction if he knew the truth that was going to come out of my mouth in the next sentence.

"Oh, so you didn't know that she was being beaten and raped?"

For a split second, I could see all of the muscles in his entire body go limp at the sudden revelation. "She was what!?" He quietly questioned me.

"Yeah, that happened." I held an inward smile and kissed my teeth as I thought about the pictures of the aftermath, about how she was so shaken up that she didn't want to tell anyone about it. Not even some of her closest friends knew about it until the trial a while back. As a consequence, I ended up reminding Cup what all her favorite employee and foalsitter had to endure.

"Oh... heavens." Instantly, she bolted up the stairs and galloped down the hall. "Pinkie, dear! I'm coming up!"

Still trying to process the thought of Pinkie being in such an abusive situation, Cheese's tone grew dark. "She was..."

"Yeah. And Caramel is the one responsible."

"Where is he?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"Prison. And that asshole won't be out till forty-plus years from now."

Kicking the ground in frustration, Cheese snorted and hissed at the mere name of the stallion. "This is horrible. I can't believe that she was hiding something like this from me."

"You and me both. It took her sisters to tell me everything."

Finally taking a deep breath to calm himself down, he grabbed a chair from an adjacent table and sat in front of me. I followed suit as he started to talk. "I understand. But how was he reported if she didn't want to press charges?"

I chuckled a bit as I started to explain everything in a short amount of time. "Actually, he tried to press charges against me for hiring a gang of mares to assault him. And those mares were her sisters. So after some time, our defense attorney had come in with some aftermath shots of when he mugged me before he got his from Maud and the others. Then when the father came in as a surprise witness for the defense, he exposed the history of violence that Caramel inflicted on Pinkie."

Cheese hummed in frustration.

"I'll never get the sight of her with bruises out of my eyes." I mumbled to myself as I rubbed my head from the headache that whole circus had caused.

"So, that's why she wanted me to stay in town. To protect her." He concluded.

"I wouldn't say that. She just wanted you to be around. She loves you, deeply."

"But now she loves you."

"Only because I protected her from harm. Nothing else."

We sat in silence for a long while as we heard the two mares upstairs conversing amongst each other. "So how do you feel about her?" He finally asked, breaking the long, awkward silence.

"You know, you're not the only pony that asked me that. Her sisters asked me the same question just yesterday. And I told them the truth."

"What did you say?"

Scratching my eyebrow to relieve myself of an annoying itch, I quoted my answer. "I told them that she was an amazing friend. I liked her just for who she was and that she didn't need to validate her worth to anyone. Plain and simple."

"So... you don't love her?"

Throwing my arms in the air in complete exasperation, I tried to explain myself. "That's just it. I do, but not in the way she wants me to love her. I can't return her feelings like that. I mean, I do love her but I'm not in love with her. I've tried to tell her that, but she was so insistent on telling me her feelings first. I don't mean to lead her on. Even just last month, she confirmed to me that she wanted us to be, quote-unquote, just friends."

"I see."

Stretching in my seat, I gave out a big, exhausted yawn. "So yeah. Big misunderstanding. I'd like to be friends with her, and I'd like to try and help you get her back."

The brown stallion gave me a small chortle. "How do I know that you're being serious?" He said, questioning me with sarcasm.

"You'll just have to take my word for it."

"Why is it that you don't want to be with her?" The stallion inquired, still confused on why I was rejecting her.

"Because I have someone else that I'm interested in. She knows it, and yet tries her hardest to win me over."

"So what are you going to do?"

I rose from my seat, walking over to the stairwell. "I'm gonna go upstairs and tell her the truth. I don't like her like that, she has you to lean on, you two mend the relationship that I inadvertently walked in on and the both of you start planning for your future together." I simply outlined.

"You know, that sounds a lot easier in theory."

I shrugged my shoulders, noting his statement. "Oh I know it's difficult. I've been on the receiving end of rejection countless times. I know what she's going to feel. I will coach her through that bit and eventually get her back on track to you. Sounds good?"

"You know, I don't think you know what you're passing up on."

I rolled my eyes in response to him. "Aren't you the one who's in love with her?"

"Well-"

"Then just say yes so we can get you and her back together."

"I'm just saying. Pinkie Pie is-"

"I know. I've lived with her for a month. Now come on, let's go get your marefriend."

Reluctantly, Cheese rose from his seat and joined me at the foot of the stairs. "Okay."

As we walked up the stairs, I decided to fill him in on the details of my stay. "Now just to clarify on the month I've lived here. We didn't do anything outside of hugs."

"Did she kiss you?" He asked as we reached the top of the stairs.

Letting my mind wander back to what had happened just before Pinkie and I came inside, I had realized that I had actually forgot to take into account that she and I did kiss. But it was very briefly and practically one-sided. Still, truth was truth. "Okay. Maybe twice, but that was only when we were coming in just earlier. And even then I was trying to convince her that I wasn't interested."

We stopped just outside of her door as he asked me yet another question. "Was she willing to... you know?"

Cringing in realization, I did acknowledge that she was willing to show me how much she cared for me... on top one of the dining tables. "Again, misunderstanding. But I know that she will when she sees that you're willing to spend the rest of your life with her."

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

Lowering his voice so that only the two of us could hear, he questioned me yet again. "Why are you doing all of this? You could have Pinkie for yourself and yet you choose to give her to me."

Facepalming in defeat, I groaned loudly. "I thought we went through this already."

As I opened the door to Pinkie's room, Cheese gave me a sagely nod. "Thank you."

"Get your ass in the room, sandwich boy."

Shortly after our meeting. Pinkie was left alone with Cheese Sandwich while Cup and I talked downstairs. As we conversed, I had brought up the possibility of giving back Pinkie's room since Cheese was going to be in town. Eventually, we had started to veer on the subject of me moving out to stay elsewhere. Cup objected the idea, saying that I was being too rash. But I had further explained to her that living here with both Pinkie and Cheese would be awkward due to Pinkie's lingering emotions towards me.

And being that I wanted to bring Cheese and Pinkie together, I needed to step outside of the picture.

As soon as the suggestion was brought up to her, Pinkie instantly protested to the idea of me living elsewhere. And of course, she had gotten Carrot involved in her protests. But when I had broke down the living expenses of three tenants and the current room available to accommodate all of us, they started to realize that I had a solid argument. I did offer to stick around as a temporary hire, so the business end still ended rather well. So much to Pinkie's objections, I had packed all of my belongings and sought company with another close friend that I could room with.

Unfortunately, I couldn't go back to the castle. The reason this time was because I was disallowed access to the grounds by none other than Princess Twilight Sparkle. Why she feels the need to distance herself from me, I'll never know as long as she keeps me in the dark. I asked the guards outside of the main entrance why I couldn't see her, their response was a quiet, long stare. I wasn't going to get any sort of response from these guys, so why even try? I think I've had it up to the hairs on my head with Twilight's bullshit. I think it's best for me to move on.

And yet, she stays stuck in my mind. It's like I'm a cigarette junkie who's gone cold-turkey. And every waking moment I don't have my fix is another day where I get even closer to choking the nearest person or pony I see. I wanna say that I should move on, but I can't help but to remain fixated on her. She was the first thing I knew when I had gotten here and now that comfort was gone. Even when I was living with Pinkie, I held out hope.

By now, that hope is hanging on a fishing wire and I'm steady taking the bait.

For a short while, and by a short while I mean two hours, I was completely homeless. I couldn't stay with Fluttershy because she was already housed with her animal friends and Discord. Not to mention that it would be uncomfortable to live there and woken up by the sounds of those two going to town with each other every other night. Applejack was a no-go based off of my inability to stave off of swearing. I'd be getting an ear-full every time I'd stub my toe. And Rainbow Dash... well let's just say I'm not exactly air-worthy.

So that left me with one possible suitor.

"What the hell is that smell!?"

I got out of my bed and ran down the hall as I smelled the unpleasant odor of smoke filling the air. As I passed by Rarity's room, she ran out in her night robe, screaming all the while.

"SWEETIE BELLE, WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT COOKING WITHOUT MY SUPERVISION!?"

"I'm thirteen! I can cook fine on my own!" Sweetie called back from downstairs.

She's thirteen and already burning the house down. One day, that little mare is going to make some stallion very proud, followed by very angry and very stressed that the rates of his homeowner insurance premiums have skyrocketed. Either that or she's going to jail for arson.

It was obvious that cooking was far from her special talent.

"D'ooooh, Sweetie Belle! When I get down there, we are going to have a serious talk about your insistence to destroy my boutique!" Rarity shouted as both she and I ran towards the kitchen downstairs. As we had entered the hallway where the kitchen was, I was already feeling my lungs filling with smoke.

"Well it's not my fault that omelettes are so darn hard to make!" Sweetie called back.

"And your language is absolutely atrocious, young lady!"

"I guess I'm to blame for that?" I joked as I stuffed my nose inside of my shirt to avoid taking in any more of the smoke. Sadly, it was to no avail as the thick grey miasma seeped it's way through my sleeves and into my nostrils.

As we broke into the kitchen, Rarity filled a bucket full of water and doused the flames out over the stove. "You think!?!"

"Shit!" I shouted out as a plume of gray smoke barreled from the extinguished stove. Coughing and gagging, I waived the offensive air away from me. "I can't breathe like this."

After saving both my life and that of her younger sister's, Rarity scolded the young filly. "Sweetie Belle, what in the wide wide world of Equestria are you doing?"

"I was trying to make breakfast before you two had headed out to Canterlot this morning."

"That is still no excuse to burn the house down!"

"It's not my fault that this stuff is so hard to make!"

This has been going on for the entire two weeks that I've moved in here. And I can honestly say that this was the third time this month that she almost burned down the entire boutique. This go around, she was pretty damn close.

"Look ladies, can we just agree to go out to eat this morning? I'd prefer to be out of the gas chamber today." I recommended, hoping to get the two to stop arguing with each other.

"Well we wouldn't have to if our stove wasn't a charred mess." Rarity pointed out to the black and crispy cookware. "It makes me wonder sometimes-"

"I just want to be able to do something without having to rely on you as much!" Sweetie interrupted, screaming back at her sister.

Seeing that arguing with her younger sister wasn't going to get either of us anywhere, Rarity took a deep breath and lowered her tone as she gently placed a hoof on Sweetie's shoulder. "Sweetie Belle, precious, I can understand your desire to come out as your own mare, but could you at least be a little more cautious? You won't make marehood if you're constantly throwing your own life into peril." She looked back over to me, seeing that I was still trying to recover from the massive amount of smoke I inhaled. "As well as the lives of others."

Feeling remorseful, the young filly turned to me and bowed her head. "I'm sorry." She then turned back to her older sister. "Both of you."

"Ohhh!" In the blink of an eye, Sweetie Belle was magically scooped up by her older sibling and cuddled like an infant. "You're fine. I'm just glad that you're unhurt."

"I get it." Sweetie responded in deadpan as she was still being cradled.

"You silly filly, I'll make sure that you'll get the best-"

"Rarity!" She shouted, getting her older sister to place her back on the ground.

The fashionista blushed and laughed nervously. "Oh. Sorry."

After passing her sister a serious look, Sweetie looked to me again. "Sorry about that, Nondis. I really wanted you to taste the food this time."

"Oh no, you're fine. I'll be okay." I was spared of a fate most unfortunate today. Not only I wasn't burned alive, but I didn't have to be Sweetie Belle's taste tester. Well I'll be damned. There is a god.

"Maybe next time." Rarity addressed to her little sister, much to my horror. "But for now, we should be getting ready to head out."

As Rarity ran to go get her bags from up the stairs, I was left questioning our departure time. "I thought the train didn't head out till about eleven."

"Ten, darling! And can you guess what time it is now?"

I looked over to the clock across the room. "About eight thirty."

"Precisely. We would need to be at the station within the hour, should we expect to be ready for when the train comes into town. After all, the train leaves the station at ten, not after." Rarity called from the top of the stairs she would walk down. Instead of holding just one bag, she moved several. About five bags worth of fabric, a case for her mobile sewing machine, a bag the clothes she'd be wearing out and my own travel bag.

"So we'd be loading the train at about-"

Before I could finish my statement, I found my own luggage being shoved into my chest. Meanwhile, Rarity levitated hers towards the front door. "Nine thirty to say the least."

"Oh shi-" There are foals present, dumbass. "-ippie." Okay, not as clever, but I guess it'll do.

"Oh 'shippie' is right." I can't believe she just said that. "We need to get Sweetie Belle to another-" Then the door bell ran as she spoke. Quite some fortunate timing here. "Oh! He's here."

The three of us quickly walked towards the door. As soon as Rarity opened the door, Sweetie Belle ran towards the guest standing in the doorway.

"Daddy!" Sweetie hollered loudly, hugging the stallion.

"Heya there, munchkin! How ya feeling today!?" The stocky stallion asked his younger daughter.

"I'm doing great! This morning I was-"

"Hurry up Nondis! We've got to get to that train station. We should be meeting up with Spike within the next half-hour."

As Rarity happily trotted out of the boutique free-hoofed, I was busting my spine carrying all of her bags for her, not including my own. "Just... where... nngh... are we... meeting up... dammit... with Spike?" I struggled to speak from behind the mountain of luggage. Meanwhile, her father shook his head and trailed behind me with my bag.

You know, I understand that Rarity has a lot to carry, but how is it that her younger sister and her father was able to help me while she runs off somewhere else, unburdened on top of it all?

"Spike will be meeting with us at the train station. He will accompany us to Canterlot."

I nearly dropped everything in my hands as I took a wobbly step forward. "He is?" I asked nervously.

"Whatever is the matter? I thought you would appreciate the assistance."

"Well, when it comes to him, he doesn't like to share his personal belongings. And by 'personal belongings', I mean you."

And it's true. Spike never did like me spending time with Rarity because he thought that I would steal her away. It didn't help my argument any since he actually caught me receiving a kiss on the cheek from her a two months ago. He was extremely territorial when it came to Rarity, with any male in general. And what makes it all scary is that he'll act so calm and civil when she or the other girls are around to see him.

That dragon was a two-faced fucker who wouldn't mind cracking a innocent smile, all while watching the skin boil off of your bones.

The freelance fashionista chortled at my testament. "Oh, nonsense! You'll be fine. I'll be sure to keep an eye on Spike. If he should ever act unfair towards you, then you are at liberty to notify me at once."

"What will you do to him if he does?"

"Simple. I'll give him a stern talking-to."

I can see that he'd be angry about having to get a lecture on how he should behave around others, especially when it came to me. So it brought in the question that stayed on my mind for quite some time. "What if he ignores you?"

"He won't. Now come, Canterlot awaits!"

While Rarity veered off, I was still struggling to carry all of her bags. Her father did managed to lighten my load a bit while Sweetie Belle rode on top of his back. He had some pretty formidable strength to be able to multitask like he did. But I did want to ask him how his daughter became so... well... misplaced. Because he, nor does his wife or Sweetie talks in a Mid-Atlantic accent like she does.

I don't even know if there's even an Atlantic here in Equestria.

"Thanks a bunch." I muttered back to the burly stallion walking beside me.

"Sure thing mister." The stallion answered as Sweetie Belle did her part to carry a bag or two.

"Where does she get this desire to leave her bags with everyone else?" I voiced out with concern, seeing that everyone in our party was literally walking with Rarity's bags while she was nowhere to be seen.

"Beats me. I'm her father and I couldn't tell you."

"That's just how she is. If there's a male around, she would prefer them to be the gentlecolt and carry her belongings for her. She's a proud chivalry-enthusiast. You'll get used to it." Sweetie added.

I've been getting used to it for the past two weeks.

As I rode on the train, I stared at Spike and Rarity, who sat across from me. They continued to talk amongst each other as Rarity outlined her plans for the evening. It seemed that she had a pretty packed schedule tomorrow morning. At first, she would meet up with a fellow associate and have a long conversation about some of their clients. Then their conversation would finally get into some of the jobs they had for her. Soon after, she would hit up all of the local retailers of fabrics and other fashion goods to replenish her supplies. By the end of that, we'd head out to dinner with another client and talk about some of the ideas she has for her new line, what's in season, what's out, what accents would work, what she could get away with, et cetera.

While her schedule seemed like a lot on her plate, my mind was already at a clutter from my recent run in at the train station.

As we met up with Spike, I had seen that the others had showed up to bid us a safe travel. Even Cheese Sandwich was present, but it seemed like there was one who really wish she wasn't there.

Yeah, you all know where this story is headed.

As I walked into the station to relieve myself, Pinkie found an opportunity to sneak into the bathroom as I sat in one of the stalls. As soon as she walked in, I could see the pink coated hooves slowly walking towards my stall. But instead, she turned to the stall next to mine and locked herself inside.

"Pinkie, what are you doing here?" I asked as I flushed the toilet.

After waiting for the water to stop rushing down the bowl, Pinkie Pie responded. "I just needed to talk to you."

"Is it about Twilight?"

"She's really trying her hardest to act like you aren't here."

I shook my head, confirming my earlier suspicions. "I've noticed."

"Each time you say hello to the group, she looks away and finds something to distract herself. This time, she was reading one of her books."

"So I'm assuming that the book she was reading had something to do with driving a guy insane." I asked sarcastically.

"No. Just a typical romance novel. But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about."

Evidently, it had to be important for her to come into the colts restroom. "What is it?"

"Her brother just came back from his tour of the badlands sometime three weeks ago. He's posted in the castle as well. And apparently, he's the reason why she hasn't been speaking to you in the public eye. Much less two weeks ago when we were here."

Yup, that's pretty damn important. "So she wouldn't tell me this and why?"

"Because... I don't know. I wish I could tell you something, but I don't wanna lie to you."

Don't wanna lie to me? Pinkie, you've been lying to me since I stepped foot on Equestrian soil. "You didn't seem to have a problem with that when it came to telling me your feelings."

"I didn't want you to get too close. But in doing so, you only gotten closer to me anyways." She rebutted.

I hummed dejectedly, thinking about another instance she had lied to me. "Then how about you not telling me about the letter you had gotten from Cheese the day before we left to the rock farm?"

"That wasn't a lie. I can't lie if I don't tell you about it, silly." She responded.

"Okay then, how about the situation between you and Caramel?"

She grew quiet at the mere mention of the stallions name. "...I may have rehearsed that story to myself a bit. Eventually, I had convinced myself that what had happened between me and him wasn't as severe. But deep down, I knew the truth."

"So you admit to lying to me?"

"Yeah, but I didn't know if I could trust you."

"Then why did you lie to the others?" I inquired. By logical reasoning, she should've at least informed them of the problem she had if they were her closest friends.

"I didn't want them getting involved."

I rolled my eyes at her answer. "They're your friends. They should be getting involved whenever it comes down to shit like that."

"You don't know them like that." She murmured.

"How so?"

"Applejack hasn't been too fond of Caramel for a while, not even Big Mac liked it when he came around asking for her."

My ears perked at the new bit of background presented to me. I had already knew that he was in a relationship with Pinkie, but now he tried to get with her best friend? Wow, that's a bit low. "He tried to get with Applejack?"

"Yeah, but her cousin Braeburn had already warned her about him in a letter. That aside, if AJ would've found out... I don't think I would want to see her become a criminal for my sake."

I laughed at the mental image of him running for the hills as Applejack tried to hogtie him and beat him senseless. "Yeah, I know. She would've kicked his ass six ways to next month"

"Rarity doesn't really show it, but she is a fighter. And a skilled one to go along with it. She'd destroy him on the spot."

A prim and proper seamstress going Bruce Lee on a cowardly stallion. "That I'd love to see."

"No you wouldn't. Even Rainbow Dash would've unleashed everything she had at him. And when she's mad, she doesn't hold back."

And seeing her perform a corkscrew dive from high in the air to deliver a hind leg to his jaw would've been exhilarating. "I can see that happening."

"Fluttershy doesn't like fighting, but when it comes to defending her friends, she'd do anything to break him."

Okay, this is where I fail to follow up with an image in my head. "That sounds very unlikely."

"Discord used to be our enemy. She single-hoofedly tamed him to be harmless to us. And if he could defeat both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna without the Elements of Harmony, then he'd tear us, and all of Equestria, to shreds. She did it alone, using just her words alone. Think about that."

And even now, Discord is her proverbial bitch. That in itself is an image that shows in my mind. "Okay, I could see that happening now that you mention it."

"Twilight... I don't even want to think about the levels of violence she would've stooped down to."

Her violence towards me was more emotional than physical. If that's what she meant, then I guess he would have a hard time dealing with her. But still... "How bad could that be?"

Pinkie paused for a moment. "...She fought a centaur over fifty times her size in Rambling Rock Ridge. She destroyed a mountain, was knocked against another, knocked through that mountain and thrown towards another. After all of that, she came out of it all without so much of a scratch."

I scoffed at the absurdity of that story. I didn't believe that she'd be able to fight off a titanic mythological creature and walk away from it unscathed. "I call bullshit on that one."

"Well let me put it to you this way, it was because of that fight that the castle stands in the center of Ponyville today."

Okay. But I'll still call bullshit on that one. That just sounds downright fictional. "Sure, and it was born from a magical box that flew high into the air on a rail of rainbows, into the ground, which then grew the magical castle in one gigantic piece. And then Twilight slayed the Jabberwocky and went on to save Narnia. And then we all lived happily ever after."

"You're not that far off, actually. The only part that didn't make sense was the Jabberwocky-"

"Of course it doesn't make sense! That's why I said it."

"But really, that's what actually happened. We even went to-"

I didn't need to hear anymore weird stories on how ponykind was made, I had a train to catch. "That aside, I'm going to take your word for it." I interrupted as I rose from my stall, pulled up my pants and walked out.

"Hey, Nonnie. You know, if you want to, there's some extra room in this stall. Maybe you can hide in here with me." Pinkie called out to me in a flirtatious manner.

Washing my hands, I answered back to the pink mare in the stall. "If you're suggesting that we'd do nasty things in there, then I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to say no to that."

"Well, that wasn't on my mind... But okay! Just be gentle when you pull my tail. I really, REALLY like that kind of-"

Before she could go into any boner-inducing details, I tried to haul ass out of the bathroom as quickly as I could. "Ahhhhhhhhhi ain't got time for this shit!" I sounded out as I opened the door.

"But Non-non, you-"

As I opened the door, I was suddenly greeted with a familiar face. A face full of righteous fury, indigo bangs with pink highlights, large purple eyes and a sharp, pointy horn that lit with a magenta flame.

"Twilight. Hi." I whimpered anxiously as she raised a hoof towards me with a low growl.

"I was going to tell you that you're in the little filly's room." Pinkie called out from the stall. No wonder why the place smelled of potpourri.

As I nervously laughed, the next thing I felt was the impact of a purple hoof on my shoulder. As she gave me a comforting smile, I uneasily smiled back, trying to back away. And much to my fears, her hoof held me in place as her smile very quickly disappeared.

Yeah, that wasn't gonna end well.

Even as I sit aboard this train, I could still feel the out-print of a horseshoe against my cheek. At the very least, she could've cursed me out or something. But instead, all she did was slap me and teleport me into the train.

Some hello.

"Nondis, are you even paying attention?" Rarity asked me from nowhere.

"Huh? I-what?"

"Darling, we're going to be delayed for a while. It seems that a cave-in of one of the tunnels leading to Canterlot had placed us under a significant waiting period. We're stranded until they can clear the tunnel and inspect for anymore possible ruptures."

So that meant while I was in la-la land, the train had come to a stop and a tunnel had caved-in right in front of us. I really need to get my mind off of Twilight sometimes. "Damn, that sucks. What's the time of delay? Does anyone know?"

"Well, from what they're saying, we might not get to Canterlot until nightfall."

"How far are we from Canterlot now?" I asked, looking at the motionless scenery of the mountainside outside of the window.

"We're a lot closer to Canterlot than we are to Ponyville. All we have to do is scale up the mountain and we're there. To get to Ponyville, we'd have to travel all the way back." Rarity said as Spike handed her a newspaper to read for the time being.

"That means we're stuck here for a while." The young drake stated as he laid himself on the seat to go to sleep.

Well that's lovely. If I were some of the passengers on the train, I'd be asking for some sort of compensation. But before I could voice my disgust, the speakers squeaked loudly as an announcer spoke on the system.

"Attention all travelers, attention all travelers. We are still currently waiting for the tunnel to clear out. Since a team has already been assigned to clear the blockage, we will be expected to arrive at our destination by around 9:54 p.m. To help accommodate you during this wait, we are issuing first-class dinners to all passengers free of charge. Thank you kindly for riding and dining with us. We hope that this event does not dissuade you from joining with us in the future. Once again, we thank you for your patience."

Wow, I actually summoned that one up, didn't I?

After our long wait, we had finally arrived at our primary destination. Canterlot; the crown jewel of all of Equestria. Not only was this the nation's capital, but it was also home to some of the country's most prestigious members of society, including that of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Both Twilight Sparkle and her older brother were born in this very city. And now, I was standing in the middle of it.

Unfortunately, we didn't have the time for tours. So rather than gawking at the city lights, Spike and I were pressed to carry Rarity's bags as we followed her to our hotel. As we passed by some of the more elite locations, I had noticed that there was an increase of guards in the area. I guess it was for security purposes, but in actuality this was the home of two royals, the two most powerful and most important no less.

In contrast to the more dormant night-life that Ponyville has, Canterlot was bustling with life as ponies walked the busy streets. In comparison to the last town outside of Ponyville I paid a visit to, this had a much more energetic feel. There still weren't any foals running up and down the street. Teenage colts and fillies were abundant as the moved in drones from place to place. Some of the more mature ponies have taken themselves to sit alongside the lily-pond bridge and watch the lights brighten up the city.

Canterlot was beautiful.

When we had entered into our hotel, Rarity had purchased two rooms for us to stay in. I asked her why she didn't want to save some money and go for just one, her response was that it would be far too crowded for us and that she preferred a more privatized arrangement. When I had asked her about renting out a third room, she said that the cost was far too much for the budget she had planned.

By now, we had to set out our living arrangements. I recommended a room to myself, stating that I could easily place the beds in one single unit. But not only did Rarity voice her complaint that Spike had a habit of snoring loudly, the hotel had rules against that kind of thing, so that idea went out the window. I proposed that Spike and I share a room. But Rarity argued me down, saying that Spike wouldn't be fair to me if I was in a room alone and unsupervised with him.

I couldn't believe that Rarity was actually making me do this.

By the time Spike and I carried the bags upstairs, Rarity had unlocked one of the rooms. As soon as we placed the bags down to wait, the young dragon fell asleep on some of the luggage we carried. I giggled at the sight of him falling to pieces just before he had a chance to walk into the room. It was one of those moments where I wish I had my cell phone on me to take pictures. As Rarity opened the door, she levitated the tired form of the baby dragon onto a nearby bed. Unfortunately, that left me to move all the bags into the bedroom she and I was going to sleep in.

After lugging in all of the bags, I flopped myself onto the nearest bed. Despite the small size, it was still pretty comfortable. But I suppose that it would be in comparison to the seats on the train. Rarity was the first to use the shower as my first instinct was to find the television remote. I started to open the dresser and that's when I had finally realize that there was no television. Instead, the drawer were filled with books, and what stood on the opposite side of the wall was a radio.

I guess my mind hadn't completely slip out of the human world just yet.

Rarity walked out of the shower wrapped up in her rose-colored night robe. Her mane was done in a series of curlers and she held a pair of small blinding straps in her magical grasp. I knew that she needed one to focus on her sleep but I didn't think she'd carry an extra. Just before putting hers on, she threw one over to me.

"If the night lights get on your nerves like they do to me, then you can wear this."

I inspected the mask, looking at it as if it was some foreign device. Unfortunately, I didn't see myself having much of a use for it. My bed wasn't beside the window for one and for two, the shades blocked out any light that wasn't already within the room. Not only that, but light never really did have that much effect on me. I gave it back to her.

"No thanks. I'm fine without."

"Your loss." She said as she turned herself in for the night.

I suppose that it was time for me to do the same. It was getting late anyways. The small alarm clock on the nightstand read eight minutes before midnight. We did get in later than what we already had planned and even later than that of our delayed arrival time. The travel was stressful and, in my case, without nourishment. I don't eat flower or hay-anything so my menu was dwindled down to a glass of water and a small salad. If anything, I needed to save my energy for the morning.

But at the very least, I should take a bath first.

I still can't sleep.

It's been two hours and my mind has been wandering around this whole entire mess of Twilight and her brother. Not only that contributed to my lack of rest, but also the small bed size. So after senselessly tossing and turning for about thirty minutes, I gave up and moved the blankets and pillows from the bed to the floor. After making a make-shift futon, I laid myself on the ground, hoping that I'd get some sort of comfort from it all.

Instead, all I had gotten was a massive ache in my side and a more annoying headache.

How did I even get into all of this mess? I understand that I was in the midst of performing illicit acts on a royal, but did it all have to go to hell afterwards? She didn't even lose her virginity and yet she punished herself. Then her brother has it out for me, damn near killing me. I move in with Pinkie for a short while. Then her boyfriend comes to town and she's torn emotionally between me and him. So I move out to move back in with Twilight, but her brother still has it out for me. So she bans me from the castle grounds and I'm forced to live with Rarity. I get that, but why in the hell am I being punished so damn harshly?

As I stare at the clock across the darkened room, I knock myself on the head as I realize that the lights are out. Laying by head back down to the pillows, I try to close my eyes in hopes of gaining some rest. But as usual, my mind brings me to the world of now. I'm still awake and thinking of Twilight.

About how close we were to each other.

I could still see the after-image of the purple mare greedily pressing herself against me. I could still feel the warmth of her walls clenching around my fingers as I inserted them inside of her moistened lips. I could still imagine her going even further than we did before her brother had walked in on us.

I found my hand clenching down on my erection as I thought more about what was within my grasp. The pain of my boxers constricting me had become more than a distraction. By now, it only added to the growing list of problems I had with my sleep. I looked over to see if Rarity was still sound asleep. Needless to say that she was at this time of the morning. Hell, I was the only one awake at the moment.

That meant that I finally had the opportunity to do what I haven't done since my arrival in this world.

Freeing myself from containment, I allowed my hand to work up and down the shaft of my erection. Closing my eyes, I started to use my imagination. I visualized that very day where Twilight pushed me to her bed. My legs started to stretch out as I tried to massage the suppressed tension out of my body. I didn't want to wait entirely too long to approach my orgasm, as I still had an early morning to wake up for.

Mourning the session that could've been between me and Twilight, I sped up my pace and tensed my body to force myself to reach my climax. Eyes still closed, I visualized a number of scenarios where Twilight and I could go even further.

Despite the guards walking down the hall, she whispered to me how she hated being so aroused. As her hind legs shifted, I reached my hand back behind her, firmly clasping my fingers around the purple cheeks of her plump, princess posterior. My mind became awash with lustful intentions as my other hand met with the second, untouched cheek. As her kiss deepened against me, I allowed my hands to venture further down the base of her tail. Her body sweltered in this area, the air thick and humid as she cooed quietly into my mouth.

Gliding a finger around her swollen lips, I calculate my method of entry. I could easily just turn her around and have my way with her, but that would be too quick for either one of us. Even she should have to know the pain of being built up for so long. My body instinctively thrust against her wandering hoof. She trails her hoof up and down my hardened shaft, causing me to shudder at the mere thought of feeling her heavenly passage blessing me with a shower of her juices as I struck inside her.

A frustrated sigh through clenched teeth leaves me as she uses her magic to slowly unzip me. Her body rocks against my hand as I press myself towards her hoof. Twitching in excitement, my staff nods to her every touch, her every motion. Pleasure rattles my senses as I decide that the touching has been far too much. Twilight could still see that I was very much needing what she had wanted. We both desired the raw, undignified embrace of our lustful exchanges. I needed to feel her. She wanted me to plunge into her. And I was more than willing to accommodate.

I could already see her moistened slit, glistening with arousal.

Despite my vivid imagination, it paled in comparison to the sensation of flesh mashing against flesh. I couldn't stand the insanity any longer. For the first time in my life, I had dared to do the one thing that I didn't think I could ever do.

I rose from the floor, walked over to the occupied bed, where a white unicorn mare slept peacefully. I instructed myself that I wouldn't dare go any further than a peek. As my hand moved up and down my shaft, I could see her tail veiling much of what I had wanted to see. I snuck my free hand to her, trying to be as careful as I could not to wake her. Her body lied motionless, upward facing, and unsuspecting of what I would do.

My heartbeat increased at an exponential rate. I could feel it beating in the palm of my hand. I was so nervous, scared, and yet excited. I knew that the consequences would be severe if I had gotten caught, but that just added to the thrill. I knew that this was beyond wrong and yet, I wanted to do it. After a minute of cheering myself onward, I had finally placed a finger at the base of her tail.

I started to speed up as I felt the familiar warmth of her nethers radiating onto my finger. I couldn't hold off for much longer, but I still desired something substantial to tribute to. I gently hooked my other fingers around the base of her tail to move the hairy curtain out of the way.

Slowly now.

Carefully.

Quietly.

Almost there.

She shifted!

I pulled myself back, my fingers removed themselves as the mare adjusted herself. I retained my breathing to a minimum as I kept my mouth covered. As my free hand cupped my mouth shut, I could smell the light musk around my fingers. The grasp around my shaft tightened even more as I basked in the smell. Yet I didn't move. I couldn't risk it.

After a minute or so of being stationary, teasing myself as I waited, I proceeded to work my hand against my stiffened erection. As I looked down, I had noticed a miraculous change of fortune. Her tail had completely unveiled the very area I sought to provide tribute to. My aching form quivered as I lowered myself to get a better look. In the shadow of darkness, I couldn't see much, but I know that what was in front of me was the very thing that every stallion desired. Even the light odor she gave off was too much for me to handle.

I wanted to taste her so much. Greed had overtaken me at this point. My climax neared as I placed a hand on the well-toned curve of her plot. Instinct had screamed at me to insert myself, but I staved off that desire. I just wanted to feel her. Just a touch. My body started to rock back and forth as I started to feel myself approach the point of no return. I slowly guided myself towards her, tracing the outside curves of her flank and finally landing in the crevice above her haunches. I slowly thrusted myself against her.

The first thrust seemed unreal. The flesh and the warmth that graced me was absolutely beyond definition. I grew anxious and ambitious, thrusting myself against the darkened valley a second time. My eyes failed to focus, rolling to the back of my head in ecstasy. A quiet moan escaped my lips as I prepared for my almost inevitable release.

"What do you think you are doing?"

I looked down to see an angry mare, still in her resting position, yet she stared at me with open eyes. I knew that she did, her blindfold had concealed that, but I knew. As I tried to back away, I felt a force resisting against me. When I had looked behind me, I could see the light blue flames holding my body in place. And as I turned around, I had received an eye-full of light, initially blinding me. But as soon as I recovered, I had saw that she did not wear the blindfold. Instead, her eyes were glaring coldly into mine.

I could easily see the sense of betrayal that swam in her mind.

"How could you?" She asked in a whispery tone.

"Rarity, I'm sorry! I-I-"

I didn't get to finish as she magically pushed me off of her and back onto the floor. She took a deep breath and screamed to the top of her lungs.

"SECURITY!"

So what will happen to Nondis next? See what unfolds in the next chapter. Also, the last segment is part of a dream. Feel free to read the next chapter to see how it concludes.

"SECURITY!"

As Rarity screamed at the top of her lungs, I could feel my heart pounding in my throat. My arms shook with fear as I had come to the realization of what I had done. No... I was well aware of what I was doing. I was scared because I was caught doing something I had no business doing.

"Rarity, please-"

Giving me a swift kick to the groin, she screamed at me. "I don't want to hear another word from you!"

I held myself as I screamed out in pain. My voice sounded throughout the halls of the hotel. As I tried to relieve the pain, I felt more than the impact of her hoof against my manhood, but also the crushing weight of guilt. "Please just listen to me."

"I don't care for what you say, you... you... VILE PIG!" She hollered back at me, crying and throwing some of the pillows at me in disgust.

I wanted to feel sorry for her, but it was all my fault. I couldn't believe that I had actually thought to go so far as to find some sort of relief from my sexual deprivation. She didn't deserve what I had did to her. "I'm sorry!"

"I don't accept half-hearted apologies, especially from rapist ruffians!"

"Listen, I wasn't myse-"

Next, she threw the lamp that stood on top of the night stand. As the room gotten dark, I had felt something significantly painful strike my chest. As the lamp hit the ground, Rarity cut on the light switch on the other side of the room. As soon as the lights came back on, I had saw the streaks of tears pouring down from her face. "Do you think words can just simply undo what you've already done?"

"I WASN'T MYSELF!!!"

"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR ABILITY TO RESPECT ME AS I AM!?! I AM NOT SOME TOY FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH! I AM A LADY AND A MARE! YOU DON'T DO THAT TO ANOTHER PONY!"

I dropped to my knees, trying my best to plead to her. She needed to understand that what had happened was something that wouldn't normally happen under any other circumstances. "Look... Can we calm down and talk about this?"

"Or maybe it's because you're not a pony is why you would seek to take advantage of a defenseless-

Before she could finish, there was a knock sounding at the door. In seconds, I felt my entire body temperature drop as Spike called for her through the door. "Rarity, what's going on!?"

I tried to get up and answer the door, but I found myself being yanked back. Rarity stood over me, defiant and angry. "Spike, gather your things! We are leaving this place immediately!"

I reached out to grab her hoof. "Please just hear me-"

To which she cruelly swatted away. "Don't you dare touch me." She hissed, scorning me for attempting to even come into contact with her.

"Rarity... I-"

She backed away from me, wearing a distraught smile. The tears still poured from her eyes. "I let you into my home, I feed you, I clothe you, give you all that you could desire from a friend... and you take advantage of me?"

I rapidly shook my head to deny her. I understood that what I did was beyond wrong, it was illegal and disrespectful. "Please... I didn't mean to-"

"Get caught? Oh I'm sure that you didn't!"

I wasn't thinking right. I wasn't being who I was. Why am I coming up with this long list of excuses? I know I'm guilty... but I can't stop lying. I just don't want to lose my friends. I don't want to lose everything that I've built up, the relationships, the accomplishments I've done. My entire life here has been a complete overhaul of what everything had occurred on Earth. I've done too much to let it all go up in flames. I needed to convince her that I wasn't myself.

"Look, I was thinking about something else entirely!"

"JUST SHUT UP!"

I fell on my face, trying to hide the shame that I bore on my face. "Rarity. I'm... so... sorry."

"Lies, that's all I see coming from you!"

I honestly didn't know if I could plant my face any deeper into the carpet. But I had hoped that if I did, then it would make up for the mistakes I've made. But sadly, that wasn't how reality worked.

"Rarity! Are you okay?" Spike called out from behind the door.

As soon as I leapt at the door, Rarity shoved me back down while making a break for the door. As soon as the door opened, she tossed out all of the bags one by one. "Spike lets go. Grab the bags and let's get moving."

"What happened?" He asked with concern. But as soon as he saw me, he started to get suspicious. "What did he do to you?

"Spike, please. You gotta hear me out." I begged, but not before Rarity tugged him along with the other bags she carried.

"Let's go!"

"Right behind you." He said, running right behind her.

I finally got off of the ground, running after her. Before I could blink, I found myself in the hotel lobby, surrounded by guards. She stopped just in front of an officer clad in armor. "Rarity, wait up! Please, I have to speak with you!"

"Stop that fiend. He tried to violate me as I slept!" She yelled at one of the guards, pointing at me as I ran towards her. "I woke up to you sexually assaulting me! You even tried to move my tail for easy access!"

As soon as her testimony left her lips, I felt a strong set of hooves press me from behind and drive my shoulder into the ground. I fell, helplessly staring at the mare I betrayed as Spike offered to comfort her. "He did what!?!" The dragon questioned.

Instantly, I started hearing the responses of many other ponies in the area. I struggled to get off the ground, still feeling one of the guards pressing my shoulder into the floor.

"I thought you were better than this."

I turned my head to the direction where the first voice came from, and my expression went from showing the strain of attempting to escape my captor to one of abject horror. Twilight stood there, not even wanting to look at me. I tried to reach out for her, but another guard pulled my arm down.

"Land sakes! Ah can't believe ya! Rotten varmint!"

I soon felt a rotten fruit strike me directly on my left cheekbone. I looked out of the corner of my eye to see Applejack throwing more of the rotten fruit at me. And standing beside her were the others as they joined her.

"Somepony's gonna be in a world of hurt!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she took up a rock rather than a rotten piece of fruit. As the other ponies appeared around me, I could see Rarity crying against a straight-maned Pinkie Pie for comfort.

"Pinkie, please-"

She turned to me, wearing a disgusted scowl. Cheese held on to her with caution as he glared back to me. Pinkie angrily shouted at me. "You're no better than he was! Why did I even trust you?"

"No you gotta believe me!"

I could hear the angered voices transform into shouts of approval. I turned my head and saw Discord selling bushels of rotten fruit as he laughed maniacally. Meanwhile, Fluttershy turned away from me, sadness apparent in her eyes. "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

The ever-growing cries and jeers sounded in favor of my punishment. Each pony that bore witness had screamed for justice while my voice grew even more quiet. My body contorted as I tried to raise myself off of the ground. But despite my best efforts, I could still feel the weight of two stallions resting on top of me. I finally decided to scream to the top of my lungs, hoping that my words weren't lost in this sea of angry insults.

"FINE, I ADMIT IT! I MADE A MISTAKE! WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY!? I'M SORRY, REALLY!"

Beside me, I could see Shining Armor looking down upon me. He had a stoic expression, similar to the one he had when he had caught me with Twilight. "Oh you're in for it!" He muttered before walking off, dismissing me to be arrested.

This can't be happening.

"Get up!" One of the guards shouted from in front of me.

This really can't be happening. I don't do this. This isn't me. I don't just go around fucking ponies in their sleep. I'm not like this at all. I'm innocent.

"GET UP FROM THE GROUND!"

This can't be real. I'm not like this.

"GET UP, NOW!"

No. Please, I made a mistake! I know what I did was wrong. Please someone, anyone. Please...

"I will speak with you later." Shining said back to me, before disappearing behind the crowd of ponies.

Stop it.

"GET OFF OF THE FLOOR, NOW!"

Please let it all end.

"GET UP!"

"GAH!" I screamed loudly, breaking out of my hellish nightmare.

"Celestia bless! Don't scare me like that!" Rarity shouted as she took her hoof off of my shoulder.

I woke up in the hotel room, still resting on the small bed. "Where am I?"

"Why what's wrong with you, darling? You're in a sweat." Rarity asked with concern.

My eyes darted across the room. I saw the light in the windows, indicating that it was early in the morning. My heartbeat started to slow down a bit as I saw her standing over me. "Quick, what did I do last night?"

"Calm down. I think you were just merely a victim of a bad dream."

"And I thought I was a heavy sleeper." Joked Spike as he jumped off of my back.

Well that explains the weight I felt in my sleep. But still, I thought that I had set a palette on the floor. Everything I did and said outside of the unspeakable crime I performed, was just as real as anything. I had watched myself become the very bane of existence. "That shit was just a little too real for me. How do I know that this isn't a dream?" I asked, still feeling the imaginary restraints on my wrists.

Spike chuckled as he opened the drawer and pulled out a book. "One way to find out-"

"SPIKE!"

As soon as I was done looking at my wrists, I had noticed that the book he pulled out was well within his claws, hovering over my head. "Okay. I won't hit him."

Rarity smiled at me. "Dearest, you're fine."

That was all it took for me to break down. She still smiled at me. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around her, mumbling to her as I held her close. "I'm so sorry. I'm so... sorry."

Taking the book from Spike's possession, she gave me a quick bonk on the head. "Nondis, snap out of it."

"What time is it?" I had asked, letting her go.

"It's a quarter after seven. You've gotten a full fifteen minutes of extra sleep. I tried to shake you awake, but you just kept sputtering nonsense in your sleep."

Spike scratched his head in confusion. "Yeah. What did you dream about that had you out so cold?"

Something that I really didn't want to think about. "...I think I just need some time to cool down. I've been really stressed out lately."

The young dragon gave me a comforting pat on the back. "Oh just stick it out! You only have up to a month left anyways."

"Spike! That was uncalled for!" Scolded the fashionista.

"What? He's leaving back to his world next month. With everything going on, I wouldn't want to stay around either. Besides, he's probably homesick."

He actually had a legitimate argument. I wasn't going to be here for very long. It's been close to seven months and the month after is the scheduled deadline for completion. That was the reality that I had long forgotten. I had grown so irritated of the current circumstances that I blinded myself of that.

So I've got a month left in this world.

"Spike, go check at the front desk to see if there's a breakfast buffet." Rarity requested, pointing towards the door.

"You got it!" The young drake cheered as he skipped across the room and out the door. Rarity sat next to me, shaking her head.

"I swear, he's been acting out a little too much lately. Now back to you, what did you dream about?"

I held on to my hands, playing with my fingers as I thought about the lustful dream that ended up going entirely too far. I could still feel the binds on my wrists. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Nondis, you can trust me. Now tell me what's wrong." She asked again, this time leaning against me.

I paused for a moment to think about how I could word my question without seeming like a total creep. The last thing I need to do was say 'hey, I had a dream that I molested you in your sleep, you caught me in the act and I was arrested for it'. Then it would really be a major issue. Closing my eyes, I pieced together a response. "Hypothetically speaking, what would you do if you found out that you did something completely abhorrent and distasteful?"

"Like what?" She questioned as she rose off of me, already putting me at unease.

"Say you..." I couldn't even put it nicely. There was no other way to say it. "Nevermind. It was just a bad dream."

The fashionista grabbed my hand and took it in her hoof. "I think you need a nit of food in you. The stress of your situation with Twilight, Pinkie Pie and the long travel might've gotten to you. You're completely worked up. That's not healthy at all, in fact I recommend you to take the day off from assisting me with anything I may need to carry."

"Nah, I can do it." I said as I rose from my bed.

"No, I won't let you." She insisted, tugging me down with her magic.

"I'm fine." I reiterated, attempting to escape her telekinetic pull, but failing to do so.

"No you're not! Just look at those circles under your eyes!"

I quirked an eyebrow and placed a hand on my face. "I have circles?"

"You obviously haven't taken a good look at yourself in the mirror, have you?"

I looked at the bathroom across the room. Just through a narrow crack, I could see the hint of darkness around the lower areas of my eyes. I looked like I had been through some tough times. But then again, I did have a bad case of bed hair to sell the look. "...Maybe not."

She sighed as she tried to sit on the opposite side of me. I turned away, not wanting her to see me like this anymore. "Darling, look at me."

"Okay." I said dismissively, looking towards the desk.

"Look at me." She demanded, placing her hoof on my cheek to guide me.

"Okay. I'm looking." I argued childishly.

"I care for you. And I know that our time is growing short, but that doesn't give me an excuse to not care about you. I want to send you off on a high note, not when your health has taken a downturn. Help me help you so that both of us can enjoy the time we have left together."

I understood her desire to let me do as I please, but there was still the guilt of letting the little guy take all of the burdens of the trip. "But I don't think it would be fair if-"

"Spike can handle it. You just take the day off and keep up with me." She said, following up her statement with a quick peck on the cheek. "Capiche?"

I think for the first time in recent days, I felt at ease. "Okay. You win."

"AHEM!"

Our moment together was suddenly interrupted by a familiar dragon standing at the front door. I smiled nervously as he tapped his fingers on the door frame. "Oh, Spike... hiya."

"The breakfast is downstairs." He notified to the both of us happily.

"Ooh! Well that's good news. I suppose we can refresh ourselves before taking the day head on." She declared as she rose from the bed and trotted out the room.

"Yeah! Twilight always said that breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Spike added.

"Well let's get marching!" Rarity sang-sung while merrily making her way towards the dining area.

"Right behind you." Spike said as I was about to exit the room. "Hold on a sec."

He held an arm across the doorway, preventing me from leaving the room. "Yeah?"

"I don't like how close you and Rarity are getting. I know that she likes you, and that you like Twilight. And I can understand all of that. But I already warned you about leading Rarity on. You keep stringing her along like this, you're gonna get what's coming to you."

It's the same warning that he gave me before. Only this time, he didn't weld any mannequins together. "I read you loud and clear, dragon boy."

"You're forgetting that this dragon can also melt metal." He reminded me.

"I haven't forgotten."

As I started to make my way down the hall, he walked beside me to speak. "You know, you act so calm and collected when you're faced with danger, but I just can't happen to think about how you've manage to become a danger to yourself. You should really let off the stress of being here and just take it back home when the portal's done."

While he kept walking as if he had said virtually nothing, my feet became glued to the carpet. "What?"

With a smirk, he shrugged his shoulders and counted off his fingers. "Look, your life has been in peril like, what, twice now? You're stressing out over a relationship that shouldn't even exist and you're stressing Rarity out by being here. Pinkie's love life was perfectly fine before you had gotten here. Granted you did some good by standing up for her but you still put yourself in a great risk. You can't defend yourself, you don't know how to function in this world, and you're being a burden on everypony else here."

Honestly, I felt very offended that he would say something like that. "That's kind of rude for you to say, don't you think?" I asked, trying my best not to explode in anger.

"I'm just speaking truth. I may fantasize over Rarity all day, but that doesn't mean that I don't see the reality of every situation I come across. And the truth of it all is that you don't belong here."

I bit my tongue, abstaining myself from cursing the little bastard out. My blood seemed to boil over but I had to keep in mind that this was probably him trying to convince me to take my leave. But really, he had no room to speak on how I didn't fit in. So I decided to bring that back to him. "Okay. But let me ask you a question. Since we're on the subject of living life amongst a species not our own, how do you go about living with a pony, being that you're a dragon?"

"I was hatched by Twilight, not birthed. But even as a hatchling, I still understand that I want to protect Twilight, being that she is my surrogate mother, as much as I do Rarity. And the truth of it all is that she's in just as much pain as you are."

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to call him a liar, but I know that there is more than one side to the situation between me and Twilight. If anything, there were facets of perspectives, each one different from the rest. Yet they all were of the same jewel. I couldn't dismiss that.

"Nondis, Spike, are you two coming?"

As Rarity interrupted my thoughts, I quickly walked down the hall, past Spike and towards the elevator.

"We're on our way."

After breakfast, the three of us headed out to carry out the laundry list of tasks we had to complete. Spike seemed very much in his element as he held a checklist and a backpack full of boxes and bags. Though his stare showed a great disdain for what I was doing, which was nothing but keep the conversation rolling.

But as our conversation carried on, I couldn't help but to let my mind wander back to last night, early this morning. I couldn't fathom why I had such a dream. Was it because of my lustful urges or the frustrations getting me to take it out on the nearest pony or was it that I had a breakdown in restraint? Granted, I was a bit of a porn junkie in the human world, but did common decency really become so back-burner that I had actually started to think these things? Was I actually becoming another Caramel?

Fuck no! I would never be what he was. I don't have the willpower to actually go forward with striking a mare. Nor do I have the mentality to force a mare or woman into any situation that goes against consent. I hated what he was and I swore to myself that he would be the example of what I would not become.

So why did I feel like scum?

"Rarity, ol gal, is that you!?"

I broke out of my thoughts, looking up to see a unicorn stallion with blue hair and a white coat. Instinctively, I backed away, thinking it was Shining Armor. But then I remembered that his mane was dual-toned and this character was the exact opposite. In fact, I don't remember him wearing an monocle or growing a mustache. Not only that but Shining wears armor most of the time, not a black tux with a purple bowtie.

"Fancy Pants! Fleur! Why it's been so long!"

Spike seemed to get a little more disgruntled, though his face showed the exact opposite reaction. As Rarity ran over to him, giving him kisses on either cheek and performing the same gesture with another mare beside him, I could see Spike cooling his jets. Obviously, he was already with mate.

"I cannot even recall the last time we met? How have you been?" The tall, albino unicorn with pale-pink hair returned a hug to Rarity.

"I've been magnificent! Fleur, how has the modeling business been for you? I want to hear nothing but good news!"

"Well, I had actually gotten an engagement with Photo Finish, but unfortunately, all she ever talks about is how she had one model who was even more graceful than I was."

"Oh balderdash! You're performing just splendidly, dear." By process of elimination, I could simply assume that this fellow's name is Fancy Pants.

"Between you and me, I think she might have the mare-hots for that filly." Fleur snickered as she nudged Rarity.

Giving the taller mare a playful hit, Rarity giggled to herself. "Oh don't be silly, Fleur. You know that gossip stays at the cafe."

Suddenly, Fleur grew shifty and quiet, cupping her hoof beside her mouth. "In speaking of gossip, it seems that your latest line is a big hit since your break with Sapphire Shores."

Rarity scoffed nonchalantly. "It is but a trivial thing. Those kinds of things are to happen when you have a celebrity showing off your stuff."

"You don't seem too excited to hear the news." Fancy Pants noted.

"No... Maybe... YESSSS! Oh I'm so excited! This is simply exhilarating! I can't believe that my business has been blowing up so much! I am completely humbled by this experience!"

I don't think I've ever seen Rarity so damn excited. She seems to really like where her business has gone. And I can understand why. I could only imagine how a small-time boutique would sponsor someone of the likes of either Lady Gaga or Janet Jackson. If I had worked with them, I'd be jumping like a schoolchild high on sugar, just like Rarity was doing just now.

"That, and your breakout tour with the Ponytones have been nothing but hits. I can't believe that you've had a talent for singing as well." Fancy added.

And then she's breaking out with her own singing group to top it all off. Add the benefit of having one of her clients being a celebrity and that group's hooves are in the door.

"Get an agent darling, because your schedule is going to get a lot more busy." Fleur recommended.

"I believe that she's already started, just look at those two." Fancy pointed towards me and Spike, who was just watching the conversation unfold. Before I could even introduce myself, Fleur darted up to me and wore what could've been her largest smile.

"Hey Fleur, how's it been?" Spike said as Fleur just simply ignored him and made her way to me.

"Oh my word, you're that human from Ponyville! I can't believe that you're actually here!" She said, extending a hoof for me to shake.

"I can't believe that I'm actually here." I joked, returning the greeting.

"Tell me, did you happen to get any of my younger sister's letters?"

Oh boy. Now that I think about it, I did get a lot of letters. But most of those were from overly-obsessive, sex-crazed, fetish-fueled, creepy ponies who were looking to kidnap me, tie me up in a chair with a bag over my head and place nipple-claps on me as they poured hot candle wax on my balls, which was literally what one of those ravenous fans wrote out. But I don't think it could be that bad. "I... think I did?"

"Oh, she's one of your biggest fans! She never stopped talking about that one photo of you wearing a pair of shorts that revealed your long legs and that t-shirt that clutched against your torso, and let me tell you, she has that picture blown up and plastered to the wall, honey!"

Excuse me while I scream for a second in three... two... one... "I'm... flattered."

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Appreciating the clothes I was wearing, Fleur walked circles around me, inspecting every detail of my appearance. "Even the things you're wearing now is quite stylish. It's hip, it's trendy, it'll go well with the younger generation. Who's your designer? To think that somepony could alter their designs to fit to anatomical proportions."

"That mare there." I pointed directly to Rarity, causing her to blush. Fleur took a double take between me and Rarity, finally looking at me slack-jawed.

"Shut up!"

"No really, look." I tuned around to pull out the tag from the collar of my shirt. After recognizing the signature and the emblem, Fleur turned back to the seamstress responsible for my outfit.

"Rarity, oh we have got to talk lingerie."

I nearly felt my legs give out from under me as soon as I thought about Rarity making intimate apparel. It goes without saying that she was just as red in the face as I was. "Oh heavens, I never really thought about doing anything in the 'risque' department."

Fleur walked over to her, placing a foreleg around her. "Honey, you'll sell. Your designs are to die for. Now let's head to the cafe. I have some pretty interesting rumors about Hoity Toity and his newest pillow stallion."

Instantly Rarity grew giddy once more, squeeing with delight. But her squees subsided as she looked back over to where me and Spike stood. "Oh. Well, I would love to babble on about those kinds of subjects... But you see..." She nodded her head towards the both of us, more towards Spike. "Those kinds of things aren't meant for young ears."

Fleur levitated the list Rarity carried and unraveled the parchment. "Just watch me work, sweetie." She whispered as she walked towards Spike, circling a few things out on the list.

"Hey, Needles?"

"Spike." He corrected in deadpan.

"Pike, right. Do you mind carrying out some of these orders for Rarity today? If you manage to finish this list in the hour, she'll give you a big surprise!"

Thought Spike seemed unconvinced by her original pitch, Fleur took it a step further and whispered in his ear. After a few words, he snatched the list and bolted down the street with nothing but parchment and dust following him. "Be back in a bit!"

While the dragon disappeared into the distance, Fleur gave off a devious smirk. Meanwhile, Rarity was busy tapping her chin, pondering on about what his reward would be. "Oh dear, I have no idea on what to give him."

"Hey, we'll worry about that bridge when we get to it. Now, who's up for some tea?" Fleur asked, pointing to a location just down the street from where we stood.

"I could go for some with a bit of milk." Rarity cheered.

"I can do for a lovely mint flavor." Fancy cosigned.

"Uhh... I'll see what they have first." I stated, still preferring coffee.

As we started to make our way towards the area, I had taken notice of two stallions walking out, followed by a party of five mares. Fleur still walked towards the establishment, ignoring the situation unfolding before us.

"Splendid! Then off we g-"

"Uh oh." Rarity muttered, tapping Fleur to get her attention.

"What?"

"Ooh! Looks like Blue's mad today." Fancy pointed out as the two stallions argued before us.

"What's going on?" I asked, whispering low so that I could still hear what was being said.

"See for yourself." Rarity whispered back as we watched the conflict unravel.

A chef walked stood in front of a white unicorn with a blond mane and blue eyes, stomping his hoof repeatedly. "I'm sorry sir, but I cannot serve those two together. To do so would compromise the integrity of the individual dishes."

"I don't care! I want what I demand and I demand service without question! If you are incapable of doing just that, then I shall take my business elsewhere!" The snobbish stallion replied.

"Fine! Then don't come back to my establishment until you can learn to appreciate each meal on their own!"

"Hmph! Come along ladies, we shall make our way to a more... respectful eatery."

And just as quickly as the situation grew, it diffused with the chef angrily marching inside and the stallion and his group of mares walking the opposite way.

"Who's the prick?" I asked.

Rarity seemed to shudder with disgust. "Prince Blueblood."

"So are all princes in this world assholes?" I shamelessly asked, much to Fleur's shock.

"Well I'd say that Sir Shining Armor has proven himself to be a fine royal, especially coming from a military background." Fancy tried to reassure me.

I begged to differ. "So what's with the entourage?"

Rarity seemed to be really upset about my question. It appeared that she had already known the answer. But I knew that it went way deeper than that. Fancy answered my question. "That is what many would call a herd, or a harem if you will."

"So this guy has more than one girlfriend?" I inquired, seeing that he walked with a crowd of groupies.

"No dear, those are his wives." Rarity spat venomously.

"Wives!?"

"Yes. He's known for seeking young, attractive mares to join the ranks." Fleur added to Rarity's statement.

"Isn't bigamy illegal?" I asked scratching my head.

"Why of course not!" Fancy answered with a hearty laugh. "bigamy, illegal."

"Oh, nopony has ever told you about the marriage laws of the land?" Fleur asked me, seeming concerned for my ignorance on the matter.

"Well, I never had a reason or a desire to know. Guess I do now."

Fancy cleared his throat as he started to explain. "You see in larger cities such as this one, stallions and mares are often at a much better ratio because of the numerous youngsters seeking to live out their college days or their youth in the fantasy of being swooned by multiple mares at a time. Even some from lesser-known towns find themselves trying to live the dream."

"Chasing after false promises. It's disgusting, really." Rarity spat out, causing me to realize that my initial suspicions were correct.

"Disgusting as in how?" I questioned.

Fancy intervened. "Well, that's just it. It's a matter of opinion. Mares from the city don't mind being shared that often because they know that the population of mares far outnumber that of stallions. And the stallions being aware of that, tend to take advantage of young, naive mares, or the greedy ones, who are placed in a perpetual competition for one stallion's heart."

"Not realizing that there are risks to this dangerous little game. It's really a traders market out here. If she sees a more successful colt with a bigger bank roll, she's going to chase after him and leave the one she started off with behind." Fleur contributed to the explanation.

"So the only ones to take multiple wives are-"

"Politicians, royals, CEO's, new money, those of inherited fortune, and high-ranking military officials. I actually started off that way, but gradually grew out of it. Even as of now, I have only one wife, the one that stayed with me through thick and thin." Fancy said as he gave Fleur a light nuzzle.

"What about the ones that try and fail?"

"That's just it. If you try to play this game, then you're betting everything you've got. So if you lose..." Fancy allowed me to come up with my own aftermath.

"You go home broke."

"That's the least of your worries. Which is why mares from smaller towns, such as Ponyville, tend to look down upon the idea of being apart of a harem. It's a matter of self-worth and self-respect." Fleur stated.

"So has there ever been a small-town girl who was asked to be-"

"Ask the mare beside you." Fancy said as he looked towards Rarity.

"Rarity, you mean that you were asked to be in a harem?"

She nodded silently. "Blueblood asked me years ago. It was the night of the Grand Galloping Gala. I thought he would treat me better, but instead, he wanted me to cater to him, as if I was begging for his attention. I am not that desperate, nor will I ever be. I swear that I would never lose myself in a desire to chase after rich and plentiful suitors. Instead, I seek to create my own success and seek out one that my heart would grow to love."

I know in my world, there used to be these reality shows of who was considered the most elegant bachelor. Afterwards, there was this big competition of how a group of twenty women would all throw themselves at this guy in hopes of self-gain. As usual, they weeded out most of them, but kept the worst ones for dramatic purposes. After about a few episodes, it finally gets down to two girls, the woman that loved him and the woman that sold her story of emotions to him, but instead she loved his money. After cutting one of the women off, he'd propose to one remaining.

Granted, there was no competition, or a big corporate payoff to the girl that was sent home on the last day. Instead, they just simply clawed at each other's throats for the attention. And if the guy could afford it, then he'd have as many as he'd like. But still, I always knew that there was a trade-off to those kinds of competitions. And both Fancy and Fleur were a testament to that life.

I hate how I could stay here longer and see just how dark this world could get.

"So, the lesson for today is that harems are a no-go."

Fancy nodded in approval. "If you ask me, it's just too much commotion to try and keep more than one mare to yourself."

"Coming from a mare of experience, it's something that's never easy. You'd have to really sell away your dignity in order to make it to the more successful figures in society. And I've seen a lot of mares lose what made them special looking for just that." Fleur seemed to have grown silent after her testimony.

"That sounds... pretty depressing."

Rarity spoke up, finding her voice once more. "It is. Which is why-"

"Nondis P. Haines?"

The four of us turned around to see two guards standing at attention while a third walked up to me. Immediately, I felt my mind wander back to that realistic nightmare I had. I could still feel the guard pressing me against the ground as they tried to restrain me.

"Y-y-yes?" I stuttered nervously.

"Your presence has been requested at the royal palace."

"M-m-me? What did I do?" Still feeling a bit uneasy, I let my muscles tense up all over my body.

"You've done nothing wrong. The princess requests an audience with you."

I drew a sigh of relief, finally able to calm after being approached by the royal guard. Though I still held my suspicions being that I still heard that Shining was back in town. Was it a meeting on behalf of Twilight? Was it on behalf of Shining Armor? Is there a delay on the portal or something? There were various things they could summon me for. And honestly, I was starting to get comfortable with the others. "Do I have to?"

"Sir, I don't believe it's a matter of if but a matter of when." The guard answered sternly. It looks like I wasn't going to get out of it either. If anything, that 'when' was only applied to the minutes it took for me to get there. And I really doubt that I'm being arrested at this point. Besides, I could get some more info about Twilight. That always seems to be a bonus.

"Lead the way."

As I walked through the halls of the castle, I couldn't help but to gawk in awe over how much larger this one was in comparison to the one in Ponyville. It seems that everything, from the halls to the windows, were twice as large as anything I've seen in Twilight's place. There were even five times as many guards here too. It's like I'd see one every ten steps forward, backwards, sideways, longways, shortways, in-ways, out-ways, everywhere.

I understand there's a need for security, but this is just ridiculous.

By the time our walk had come to an end, I stood outside of a room with a moon crest set on the door. The guard was about to knock, but stopped shy as we both heard a familiar voice. A voice that I did not like.

"What do you mean 'there's no threat?' I saw them mobilizing in the badlands, and they seemed to be preparing for a small offensive."

"Indeed. Which is why it is best to assume that they are conducting drills."

"Are you saying that we should let them do as they please?"

"I am saying that we should wait to see what their next move is, captain. My sister and I will not risk a conflict if there isn't a need for one. Our numbers are suitable, but that is no excuse to send them marching off into danger, especially against a demoralized foe."

"Demoralized? Then what do you call that large invasion of Canterlot almost two years back?"

"Their numbers have dwindled since then."

"They could be hiding in droves. They're still out there, waiting and watching our every move-"

"Just as we will do the same. Now please dismiss these foolish claims of invasion and leave that spectacle in the past."

"...Yes, your highness."

"You are dismissed."

As soon as I heard those words, I hid behind one of the large pillars beside the door. The guard that accompanied me looked at me oddly as the door opened, revealing a disgruntled Shining Armor.

"Dismiss these foolish claims of an invasion and leave that spectacle in the past. How are we to leave in the past something that still threatens us?"

Another guard who stood by the door, walked beside him. "Well, she does have a point. It's been two years."

"Yeah, a full two years to divide their forces and make it seem as if they've disappeared. I know what's going on."

"With all due respect, don't you think that you're being a bit personal with the situation?"

"It's a rightful grudge! Not only is it a threat to me personally, but one to all of Equestria. Let them kidnap one of our citizens, just one, and you will see that I will not rest until they surrender."

"I still think you're going a bit overboard with this."

As the two stallions disappeared into the hall, I felt a wave of relief wash over my body. At least I knew that I was safe... for now.

"Next!" The voice shouted out from the office, causing me to jump.

"Sir, the princess will see you now."

Finally calming down a bit, I came out of hiding and walked into the office. As I entered, I saw Princess Luna sitting at her desk, signing a series of papers. When she finished her next signature, she looked up to see me standing in front of her.

"Nondis, you're here."

"Good day, princess." I said, bowing before her as a sign of respect.

"Do not bow to me. This meeting is merely an informal one. Feel free to comfort yourself." She said, walking from behind her desk and towards the door. I looked back to see that she had whispered something. Just as she finished, the guards that stood by the door, as well as several others around the area, left me and her alone. Closing the door behind her, she walked back to her desk and dismissed the stacks of papers all over her desk into some unknown dimension.

"Might I ask, why have you summoned me, princess?"

"Luna. Let's begin with that." She said, as she stressed her earlier point.

Still feeling a little uncomfortable, I remained standing. "Luna, why did you call me here?"

She chuckled as she sat back down, folding her hooves. "I thought that I told you that we would be speaking later."

"What? Since when?"

"Since early this morning."

"We never met this morning." I can clearly say that I was nowhere near her or this castle earlier this morning. So how did she managed to notify me of a future meeting if we never spoke. Hell, the last time we saw each other was the castle anniversary in Ponyville four months back.

Her smirk disappeared and in it's place grew a stern frown. "You had a terrible nightmare about your personal desires growing out of hoof. At that point, you sought to take advantage of an innocent mare, who caught you in the midst of violating her. Shortly after, you were apprehended for your crime."

My heart started to race at speeds I didn't even know existed. My arms trembled and shook as she recalled my dream without as much as a word being spoken to her about it. A chill ran down my spine as I started to back away in fear. "How... did... the fuck?"

"I watched. And in that dream I spoke to you. I said to you that I would speak with you later."

I had to calm myself in order to think. Though I much rather not remind myself of what I dreamt of, my mind tried to recall any significant details about my dream. Where was I where she could've said that she wanted to speak with me later. I just remembered... that and the arrest soon after. I can remember the others berating me and throwing things at me. I could remember the guards pinning me to the ground, but that was a combination of Spike and Rarity trying to wake me up. I remembered how Shining Armor just instructed the guards to take me away and he mumbled that he would see me later...

No way... she was... "Shining Armor? You were-"

"Yes, I was him."

Speechless, I fumbled in my movements, waiving my arms and looking all over the room, hoping for an answer to fall from the sky. "But... how-"

"I am the Princess of the Night, thus it is my duty to come into your dreams." She stated as she unfolded her forelegs and walked away from her desk, circling around me.

Despite her answer, there was still the question that burned in my mind. "Then why? Why did I get that dream!?"

She stopped walking around me, stopping directly beside me as she eased into my ear. "Tell me, have you heard of the many theories that are involved with the dreamscape?"

I've heard a few things, but nothing outside of when dreams occur. "Not really. I just know that dreams are peculiar in nature and that they're formed in our brains when we sleep."

"It goes much deeper than that. Though I cannot get into specifics, I will introduce to you a possibility. Have you ever thought about what you would be like if you were the exact opposite of yourself?"

I remember watching a movie about how one guy looked at himself in the mirror and he saw his reflection at one point, but as soon as he turned away, the reflection turned back to him with a demonic grin. I suppose that my situation could be similar to that. "You mean one of those kooky mirror gags where you see a bizarre version of yourself?"

"Similar yes, but have you ever seen that side morph into your physical being, presiding over situations that are otherwise unfamiliar to you?"

The Exorcist, that movie is the vanquisher of sleep. "Like some sort of demon possessing your body."

"Precisely. We all have the darkness within us that we do not wish to see. You have seen just that."

So what she's implying is that I may actually have a demonic side that's capable of doing those cruel things to others. That doesn't make me feel the slightest bit of comfortable knowing that I was a monster inside. "Does that mean that I will become like that?"

"No. Not all all. It is a warning, however." Luna corrected.

"A warning to what?"

She walked away from me, making her way towards the desk once more. "You will end up in a situation where you will not know how to respond. Your desires will be a deciding factor."

But even then, would that mean that it would happen in the course of the next month, or would it happen much later from now? But by then, I would be long gone from Equestria. "That's when I leave to my world, right?"

"It will happen to you regardless of what you decide."

"So... I'm gonna be some sort of-?"

"No!" Luna reiterated, shouting at me before I could even finish my question. "Far from it. What I am saying is that you will make a decision that would cause not only you pain, but others that are involved."

Despite her constant reassurance of my not being a rapist, I was still feeling a bit insecure of myself. "And there's no way around this?" I asked, hoping that there would be one.

Luna shot down my answer. "It is an inevitable fact of life. Though the severity will not be as what was depicted in your dream."

I guess she's saying that I couldn't even avoid it. But even if I did make the mistake, what would I do to rectify that? How would I go about making things better? There were a lot of questions that surrounded the issue. And sadly I was fresh out of answers. "And what am I to learn from this?"

"That is up to you. I cannot give you any further information. The lesson is what you will make of it, just as you have been doing for the near-seven months you were here."

Although this meeting had left me with a few more questions than what I had coming in, I could take comfort in knowing that the largest concern I had was no longer something that troubled me. I felt safe and sound for the time being, but I knew that there was still more trials to come. At least I didn't have to worry about it for the time being. "Well, I feel a little better now. Thanks for clearing that up."

Luna smiled as she stood behind her desk. "Anytime, though our visit is not over yet. There is still one other matter that we would have to take care of."

"And that is-OUCH!"

I felt a painful jolt of electricity spark against the back of my neck. My entire body felt numb as I looked back to see what it was that sent the shock to me. Much to my surprise, it seemed that the one who sedated me was none other than the high ruler of the land. "Princess Celestia?"

"Excellent work, dear sister." The larger princess said to her younger sibling. Luna merely returned a head nod as my focus started to twist and contort. My equilibrium was thrown off while I stumbled forward and fell to the ground below. Princess Celestia eased my impact as she caught me with her magic.

"Nondis, when you wake up you will not be here in Canterlot, but rather in Ponyville." Luna said as she became a large blue blur in my vision. The world seemed to swirl into an invisible drain as I wobbled and wiggled, trying to escape from Princess Celestia.

"Why are you doing this?" I droned as the spell cast against me started to take it's toll on my consciousness.

"Because Twilight has failed to tell you." I think it was Celestia that spoke this time. I'm not too sure.

"What... are... you... sa...ying?" My eyes started to become heavier and heavier with each time I blinked. My lips almost felt like they weighed a ton when I spoke. As the seconds ticked away, the voices became hard to distinguish a difference between. Darkness was to take me very soon.

"Nondis, the reason why we have summoned you here is because we wish to inform you..."

"What?" I whispered weakly as the world started to fade from view. But there was one string of words that I had recognized before letting sleep take me.

"...the portal is ready..."

Due to recent controversy, I decided to release this chapter a day early. Next chapter will be due within a four day window as usual.

Well that was a bit of controversy. I guess it would've been right to finish that first scene in the previous chapter before causing all of this commotion. Wrong place for a cliffhanger And for that, I do apologize. I should've clarified that it was a dream to begin with so that I didn't offend some of the readers. I guess the next time I'll think about going dark, I'll send out a reader's warning so that some of the more sensitive readers would take into consideration that there would be parts that they would feel uncomfortable reading.

Now about the character. First off, no I never planned for the guy to become a criminal. He's still the same, as you can see. So whenever you see him act out of character, don't assume the worst because I never had that in mind. Thank you for your patience.

I could remember the last time I was home. The last thing I was doing was hanging out with my fraternity brothers. I had finally crossed the burning sands of my induction and became a true member of Delta Phi. Fast-forward six weeks and I was sitting in the fraternity house with my new 'family'. While I was still the quiet one, the others seemed to flourish in whatever subject they talked on. Whether it was girls, porn stars, the teachers we had for certain classes, the most recent episode of Game of Thrones, who would beat who in a game of 2K, sports, or parties our fraternity could plan, they seemed to go on for ages.

But whenever I had attempted to start up a conversation about something of my personal interest, they seemed to look at me oddly. Even my fellow crabs, or crossing mates if you will, shook their head and moved the conversation from awkward silence to jubilant laughter. And to think that I had sacrificed the one friend that I had in order to get here. If I could, I would take it all back and give my time to the one person that I knew would talk with me, regardless of the subject.

If I could go back in time and tell Melanie how sorry I was, if I didn't let the guys convince me that she was hanging around me to be nice, I'd still have a friend to talk to. But instead, I had shoved her away, thinking that she was just around me to express her sympathy for my not having friends.

I was a complete idiot. I was a total dumbass and more than a full-blown jerk. She needed me as much as I needed her, and our friendship was enough to carry us through whatever. And now, I don't have any of that.

But that doesn't mean that I couldn't go back a changed man. I could easily run back and make amends. It's what I want to do, what I know I can do.

My eyes opened up to see a bright, blurry light blinding me. Instinctively, I raised my hand to cover the light source in front of my face. But as I placed my hand in front of my face, I could see a tube running down the length of my arm. I had questioned what had happened to land me in a hospital, but I then remembered that Princess Celestia sent me to slumberville. Placing my hand down, I could see a familiar face standing in front of me.

"Applejack?"

She seemed to have been a little worried, seeing that she didn't wear the hat she would normally wear on a daily basis. But that's just it. Why was she here in Canterlot?

"He's awake, y'all." The farm pony sounded as she turned back to a group of more familiar faces.

"Geez, you really need to learn how to chill, dude." Rainbow Dash said as she flew over to my side.

"Any more visits to the hospital and you'd have a pretty big bill to pay." Fluttershy stated as she looked at the heart-rate monitor.

"Thank goodness." Rarity said as she stood to my left beside Fluttershy. "I had to cut the trip short to make sure that you were okay. What have I been telling you about stressing yourself out?"

It all started to fall together as I saw more and more of the girls. I had mentally wandered back to my dream prior to my waking up. I remembered that in the dream, Luna had spoke briefly about my having something called a false aneurysm. Though that wasn't what actually happened, the spell that was cast against me was made to simulate the fact. I had also questioned her about why it had to be that way, but before I had gotten an answer, I had woken up in this hospital. And if I'm correct, aneurysms are caused by a number of issues, primarily stress.

I guess they wanted to give a legitimate excuse to send me back to Ponyville on such short notice.

"Sorry girls, I let myself get a little out of hand." I stated, yawning and stretching.

"You should be a lot more careful. We can't send you home if you're..." Pinkie trailed off as she started to hold her emotions at bay. When I had looked to the others, I had noticed the similar expressions of sadness that Pinkie wore.

"Heh, so you all know about it?"

"Yeah, now we do. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna had informed us of what had happened and that, well..." Rainbow Dash grew silent as the mere thought of the portal's completion had brought sadness to her. But despite her evident melancholy, she tried to play it off. "So what can we do to make your day awesome?"

"I'll be fine girls."

"Are you sure?" Fluttershy asked, placing a hoof on my arm.

"Really. I am. Now let's go get the nurse so I can get out of this bed."

The girls looked amongst each other as they remained silent.

"What's wrong?" I started to see that they were reluctant in grabbing a nurse so that I could check out.

"We'll be sure to help you pack up all of your belongings. Sweetie Belle will be more than willing to assist you, as am I." Rarity said with a forlorn smile.

I saw that all of the mares present had shown their concern for not wanting me to leave so soon. I understood what they were going through. The portal wasn't scheduled to be ready until six weeks from now. Instead, it's already done a month ahead of schedule. I suppose it is a painful experience to say goodbye to someone so soon.

Especially knowing that you may never get a chance to see them again.

After a quick evaluation, it was noted that the condition I was registered under turned out to be nothing more than a false alarm. Even the medics shared the same sigh of relief as the girls. Though I already knew that I was not suffering from an aneurysm, everyone else did not. So when the news came that I was perfectly healthy with the occasional rise in blood pressure, those who were assigned to me were relieved.

I know that it sounds as if they shouldn't be too concerned over my health, but considering my species and how little knowledge that this medical center had on me, I was a major concern. Even with Twilight's insight, there would be little they could do if I was to become seriously injured.

But hey, what does that matter? It's not like Twilight was even here to begin with. She never even bothered to show up as soon as I was reported in. But I don't think it matters anymore since I'm going to be back in my world by sunset. I just wish that she had actually cared enough to come.

However, if she doesn't want to see me and write me out of her life, then I could understand her reason for doing so. I'm a temporary thing. She has that right and I've accepted that she's trying to move on.

After my release, I had spent most of my day wandering around parts of Ponyville. With each memorable spot I passed, I could see the ghostly image of the event that occurred.

The first place was the town park. As I passed by the fountain, I had saw the image of me trying my hardest to cover myself up as my clothes fell apart on me. Twilight, who was busy blushing, was trying her best to assure me that it was all going to be okay. And despite her efforts to comfort me, I was still trying to hide behind random trees and bushes.

The second place I passed by was the bench where Discord and I finished out long string of pranks. I had felt myself become nostalgic for the times we spent together. It was just after we both had gotten in trouble with our respective interests. It was also the first time that Discord and I saw eye-to-eye.

The third place I visited was the Hayburger. I was more relaxed to see that some of the chefs had not forgotten about my special orders. So as I ate a plateful of french fries, my eyes had wandered back towards the bathrooms. Chuckling to myself, I noted that I would never subjugate myself to such a humiliating experience... EVER AGAIN.

The fourth place I stopped by was the alleyway where I had gotten beat up. Thought it wasn't exactly a pleasant memory, I still saw myself standing up for what was right, despite my stupidity for not trying to run. I knew that I was a horrible fighter, yet I still recalled the one punch to the face I gave him. It was an epic ass-beating, but it was still a fight that I had won in the long-run.

Of course, the fifth location wasn't so kind to let me leave so soon after my arrival.

"Heya, Nondis! And how are you doing on this fine day?" Carrot asked as he came from the upstairs rooms, holding a few baby toys to take with him.

Walking into the room, I greeted him half-way with a hoof-fist bump. "I'm doing pretty well, thanks. And you?"

"Actually, I'm just here visiting. Pinkie's been taking care of the place for us today."

"I heard that you guys were closed today." I said as I pointed to the sign at the door.

"Yes, actually. We kinda had plans for later this evening. We've got a royal engagement."

And it just so happened that I'm leaving this afternoon. The princesses will be in attendance to wish me well as I set off. Coincidence, I don't think so. "Oh. Well I wish you the best."

"Non-non!" I heard a scream coming from the direction of the kitchen. Turning around, I could see Pinkie Pie covered in multiple colors of frosting. She smiled just as brightly as ever.

"Sup Pinks?"

After giggling and snorting, she tilted her head and cocked an eyebrow. "Wow! I never heard you call me that."

"You don't like it or something?"

"I didn't say that. But I do need a hand in the kitchen."

Well at least she didn't say hoof. "For?"

Shaking herself off like a dog, she splattered the frosting all over the room, causing me to duck for cover and Carrot Cake to sigh in sympathy of the now-dirty room. Silver lining, she wasn't covered in frosting anymore. "I'm cleaning up a large mess we made in preparation for the big engagement this afternoon. And as you can tell, I'm a complete mess myself." As I pointed to the walls around the room, she chuckled nervously. "Or should I say that I'm in a complete mess."

"You need some help?" I asked with a deadpan expression.

"Well, I was gonna ask Mr. Cake to do it, and Cheese is already at the place helping Mrs. Cake set up." The pink pony said as she timidly clopped her hooves together.

"And I was on my way there after I had gotten these toys to the twins and Princess Cadance. If you could help Pinkie, then I would greatly appreciate it."

Carrot seemed a bit bummed out that he had to ask me to do some work around the bakery on my last day. But in actuality, I didn't really care. The majority of my bags are still packed from my moving in with Rarity. As to why, well I wanted to make sure that I was well-prepared for if Sweetie Belle was to burn more than just the breakfast and the stove in the morning. That and the recent trip to Canterlot.

"Sure, no problem." I answered, going for the supply closet.

Carrot picked up the toys and made his way towards the front door. "Alrighty then! Pinkie, I'll see you later on."

"Okay!" Pinkie hollered out as Carrot closed the door behind him, leaving me and Pinkie to clean up.

"So what do I need to do?" I asked.

Pinkie took away the mop I grabbed out of the closet and started working on the mess she made. "Just clean off the counters and do the dishes. I'll take care of the stocking and the mopping."

I laughed at the idea of me having all of the easy work. Walking into the kitchen, I had soon found my laughter crammed back down in my throat as I saw a mess of pots and pans stacking up all over the kitchen. The counters were a mess of sugary frosting and batter and the cooking ware was riddled with flour, egg, milk and batter. I knew that this wasn't going to take me a short while.

After about twenty minutes of pot scrubbing, pan wiping, sink cleaning and counter-top sanitizing, Pinkie had entered into the kitchen to finish off the floor. Shortly after, we stood next to each other, slightly winded from the chores we completed. We took pride in our work and it's sparkling results.

"It feels like it's been ages since I've had to clean back here." I said while I leaned against the counter. "And if this is bad, then I can assume that the larger parties that you cater to are a lot worse."

Pinkie giggled as she nudged me a bit. "I know! Cheese has been a real help with all of the orders. And with his added business, we stay busy with parties."

"I could only imagine."

While I stood quietly, I took in the sight of the kitchen I once worked in. Pinkie's mind seemed to have gone wandering as well. It seems that both of our thoughts wandered on the changes to come. I wasn't gonna be around to help as often as she'd like, and she wasn't to happy about it. For a majority of the time, she stared at me as I looked elsewhere. Finally, she broke the long silence. "So... what are you going to do now that your time here is over?"

"Don't know. I've been through a lot of life-changing experiences. Learn a lot, taught a lot, stuff like that. I guess I'm gonna go back to college, finish for my degree, work until my back's broken." I joked as I laughed out loud. But it seemed that Pinkie didn't share my sense of humor.

"That's wasn't very funny." She said in a very serious tone.

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly, unaware of why the joke was in bad taste. "It's fine to me."

She jumped up on her hind legs, wrapping her hooves around me, hugging me tightly as she whispered in my ear. "You've been hurt a lot since you were here. Are you gonna be okay when you go back?"

"Well, yeah." I answered uneasily. "Of course I'm gonna be okay."

She still held me close to her as her eyes locked on to mine. I could see the seriousness on her face as easily as I could see how pink she was. "Don't you get hurt, under any circumstances. Do you understand me?"

"Pinkie." I droned, rolling my eyes.

"Promise me!" She shouted in my face, causing my ears to ring a bit.

"If I promise you, then will you calm down?" I shot back, still a little annoyed from her yelling at me.

"Well I'm waiting."

I couldn't believe she was going to make me do this. But she wasn't going to let me get walk out of here without promising her this one thing. I decided to go along with it so that I could carry on with my day. After all, I still had others to say goodbye to. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my-" Lips?

My pledge was silenced by a pair of lips, sealing shut my own. My eyes expanded as I watched Pinkie press herself into me with closed, watery eyes. Her peck lasted for a few seconds before she slowly drew away, leaving me petrified in place. After her kiss, she looked shyly towards another direction. By the time I had snapped myself out of my statuesque state, thirty seconds had already ticked away. In silence, I broke away from the pink mare and started to walk out of the kitchen. But before I could even breach the doorway, I felt a strong tug against my shirt.

"Please don't." Pinkie muttered sadly as her hoof clenched the fabric of my shirt.

Pulling her hoof off of me gently, I backed away. "I think I should go."

"Wait!" She shouted as I walked out of the kitchen and into the lobby.

I opened the door, just a crack. "I'll see you later Pinkie."

Instantly, she ran forward and slammed the door back shut. Standing in front of me was a mare who had a look of bitter desperation in her eyes. I knew she wanted me to stay, and now she was willing to do whatever to keep me from leaving this place. "Please don't leave! You'll be much happier here. Just think of all of the friends you've made, the ponies who want you here. Nopony wants you to go so there wouldn't be any point of you leaving. We could have all the parties you want."

"I have to go." I answered softly.

A distraught smile formed on her face as she clenched onto my shirt with both forelegs. "Why are you leaving!? Is it because you don't like it here? Is it because of what Caramel did to you? Is it because of Twilight? Look, you don't have to keep stressing yourself over her when you could have m-"

I've had enough of this. "I just want to go home!" I answered harshly, seeing that there was no other way to get her attention. Obviously, her smile had wilted away. Even her mane had deflated and grew completely straight as she loosened her grip on my shirt.

"Nonnie... I thought you said that this was your home."

As she started to let the tears run down her face, I placed a hand to her cheek, wiping one off with my thumb. "I'm sorry."

Suddenly, her sadness gave way to bitterness. She pushed my hand away from her, walking far away from me. She stood on the other side of the room, staring at the floor as she trembled. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out." She quietly spat at me.

"Goodbye, Pinkamena."

After walking out of the front door, I took about four steps forward before I could hear destructive noises coming from inside of the bakery. It was a bad idea to walk in on her as she was throwing chairs across the room. I shook my head as I heard the mare break down through the front door.

"FINE! LEAVE EQUESTRIA! LEAVE US HERE! GO TO YOUR HOME AND BE HAPPY! I CAN... have my...parties... without..."

In mere seconds, I could hear a body collapse to the floor. When I decided that it was safe enough, I peaked through the front window to see Pinkie on the floor, crying as she called me out, begging me to not leave. Sadly enough, the only thing I could do was ignore her.

"I'm so sorry, Pinkie."

After my brief run-in with the party mare, I had taken myself to Sweet Apple Acres upon request of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. By the time I had left, I was wearing one of the capes that had their special crest sewn onto it. But rather than it looking like it was a simple patch-job, this one clearly had Rarity's touch. After a brief farewell ceremony, the four of us shared a hug before Sweetie and I started to make our way back to the boutique. When we had arrived back, Rarity had already started to set my bags besides the door.

"Sweetie Belle, do you mind going back over to Sweet Apple Acres? I need you to go pick up something from Applejack."

"Sure thing." She said, galloping out the door and down the street without question.

"Nondis, dear, I am so honored that you have felt it necessary to come and spend the past two weeks with us. Now I know that our time together hasn't been all of the best, but I will say that it was much more than... okay."

"You sure you didn't need me to go with Sweetie Belle?" I asked, concerned that she might need some help.

"Oh, no. You're quite alright. Besides, what she's grabbing wouldn't be heavy at all." Rarity said as she brought down another suitcase full of clothes.

"Oh really?" I questioned, cocking an eyebrow. "So what is she grabbing?"

Rarity snickered in response. "I'm sorry, but if I had told you, then it would ruin the surprise."

Groaning, I waived her off. "Boo! You suck!"

"Well, leave it to one who doesn't show appreciation for the art of being surprised." She answered back, playfully poking me with a hoof.

I looked at the bags that was brought to the front door. "I don't remember having this many clothes."

"Well, I had planned to showcase some of my designs to some of the Canterlot Elite. And I did plan for a certain somepony to model them, but due to current circumstances, I had to cut that short."

I had an idea on why she had to leave early. Of course, it had something to do with me. "Sorry about that."

"I really wanted to show you, and my latest designs for you off to the world. But I suppose you'll be doing just that when you get to your own world." Rarity said sadly, letting her ears fold a bit.

"Cheer up. I'm more than certain that you'll find more models who will wear your designs."

"But I really did want you to wear them."

"Yeah, I know. Bummer." I sighed, walking up to one of the suitcases, trying to see what all she had for me to wear.

"If you had the option to stay, would you?" She asked, causing me to stop and think for a while. I didn't think on if it was an option for me to stay. I had assumed that Celestia and Luna were tolerant of my being here until the portal was ready. And they seemed to be rushing me to leave with that stunt they pulled in Canterlot. But I had already made up my mind before that.

"I don't know." I said, being honest with myself. I would like to, but I know that it would be far too much to do when one has to start all over. In the near-seven months I've been here, I've just started to get the hang of Equestrian society, and even then, I wasn't completely aware of how this world worked. At least, when I get home, I could start back where I had left off.

"Even if somepony said that they'd share their home with you."

"I've been a burden as it is. I don't think I would want to put anyone through this hectic chaos that I've been going through."

As I opened the suitcase, I could see the vast majority of the clothes packed were items that I had never seen before, much less worn. I had pulled them out one-by-one. As I awed at my newest additions to my wardrobe, I couldn't help but to smile.

"I've started to become more interested in him... as the days went by. The way he speaks to others as if he didn't have a care in the world, his sense of humor, his laugh, his smile, his touch... Our every union seems to grow us even closer. I know that he sees me as something different from what I am, but we both know that our hearts, though different in their designs, is that we want to explore what it means to break the barriers of being of a different species. I know what I feel. And I pray to Celestia that he feels the same way."

I stopped everything that I was doing, looking back to Rarity. She had a bittersweet smile on her face as she saw the enjoyment I had when I took out all of her clothes. I just stood there, mouth agape as Rarity's confession, the journal entry from months prior, spilled forth from her mouth.

"Though I know he doesn't..."

I walked over to her, dropping everything I held in exchange of holding her. Her hooves wrapped around my neck and shoulders as she quietly sobbed.

"Oh, why do I always get emotional when it comes to these things?" She said in a laugh, trying her best to hold back her sadness.

"So it was you, huh?" I asked, still hugging her.

"Everything I did for you, I did it out of the goodness and charity of my heart. But every time you wear or look at my clothes, you smile. You genuinely appreciate what I give to you and you try your best to repay me. But when I turn you down, you always seem to find some other way of making it up. Never have I ever shared such a generous spirit with one so humble."

We separated from each other. I seemed to become a little worked up over her words, trying to suppress the waters that threatened to rim my eyelids. Fuck, I really didn't want to cry, but she's making it really hard not to. What am I to do here?

The bell over the door rang, signaling that we had a visitor coming in. We turned around to see Sweetie Belle standing in the doorway, wearing a black stetson and holding what appeared to be two more articles of clothing. I had walked over to inspect what she had brought, and much to my surprise, I didn't believe what I was looking at.

"These are my old clothes, the ones I had when I came here."

Rarity smiled as she stood beside me. "I thought that they needed a bit of a little more flare. That orange was an unpleasant thing to see, so I redid the shirt in black and silver. A bit simplistic, but it shines through."

She even got the school mascot right, down to the very last stitch. I could feel the texture of the cotton. It felt crisp and fresh, despite the barnyard smell. But really, I didn't mind because it fitted with the theme. Next up was the old jeans I had. Though they should be a size larger than what I am now, I could still wear them with comfort. Even the back pockets had the same emblem done on it. The black jeans was now rich in color rather than faded to a dark gray. As I flipped the pants over, I could feel something drop on my head.

"Applejack said that you would've liked the small addition. So we worked together to make you a hat that would go along with your outfit."

When I had turned back around to find a mirror across the room, I could see the black stetson on my head. I gave my reflection a nod and a tilt of my new hat. "Hook-em."

"Sweetie Belle, is there anything you want to say before we let him finish packing?" Rarity asked to her little sister.

The young filly stepped in front of me and opened her forelegs, inviting me for a hug. The redness in her eyes was an obvious sign of her sadness. I fell on my knees, meeting her halfway as we sank into each other. Though she sniffled, she whispered in my ears.

By the time I had recognized what she was whispering, I knew that my own tears would surely start flowing. I could feel the ache in my chest as Sweetie Belle attempted to sing to me. Her voice cracked and broke as she stammered through the words, trying her best not to break as she sang.

At last, she broke down and clenched her hooves around me, wailing into my chest. I couldn't stand it anymore. In a sweeping motion, I had grabbed Rarity and held both her and Sweetie as I clenched as hard as I could, letting out all of myself as they continued to cry in my arms. I hiccuped and stammered quietly as the three of us shared this moment in silence. I gave both sisters a light kiss on the forehead as we continued our silent embrace.

I know that my time was near an end, but I really didn't want this moment to stop for anything.

After our thirty minutes, Rarity and Sweetie Belle left me alone to take care of unfinished business. Meanwhile, I had already taken inventory of what all I was taking with me. So far, I had three suitcases of clothes, one of which and half of another included clothes I had never worn. Nodding my head, I checked off all the items off of my mental check list.

"Okay. I think that's just about everything. Time to get ready to head... What the-"

I don't know how or when this happened, but as I was counting off the things in my head, I suddenly found myself in a familiar location. I was in my room. But I wasn't in the room I stayed in when I was with Pinkie. I wasn't even in the guest room in the Carousel Boutique.

I was in the bedroom I used to stay in when I first got here.

"You didn't."

I could feel myself jump out of my skin as soon as I heard a voice from behind speak to me. I turned around slowly to see who was addressing me. And as soon as I saw the pony standing before me, I had realized just how long I haven't heard that voice in so long.

"Please tell me you didn't."

"Oh, so now you wanna speak?" I barked at her.

"Nondis, I need you to answer me. Did you or did you not speak with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna?" Twilight asked as she seemed worried of my doing so.

"Well-"

"Now listen." She interrupted me before I could say anything else. "What I'm going to say will not make any sense to you, but I want you to bear with it. Tell me, did you speak to them? And please, don't tell me the truth."

"No." I answered quickly.

"You didn't then?" She asked, seeming relieved that I had lied to her upfront.

I rubbed my eyes as I felt a small headache coming along. "Why does it matter Twilight?"

"You just don't get it, do you!?" She yelled at me harshly.

"No, I get it. What I don't get is how you can just shun me for months. And when I try to speak to you, you go wandering off, avoiding me." I shot back, starting to become a bit angry.

"I don't mean to-"

"That's fucking bullshit and you know it!" I lashed out, letting my anger get the best of me.

"Nondis, please listen to what I have-"

"Oh fuck no. I've been wanting to say what was on my heart to you for two damn months and you just now wanna talk?"

"Just give me a second to explain-"

"How you didn't wanna be associated with me anymore? How you don't think I'm worth it? It's too late now. Portal's done and I'm shipping my ass out!"

"That portal was done three weeks ago!" Twilight finally shouted, causing me to back off of her.

After my angry rant and Twilight's revelation, I decided to slow things down a bit. "Wait wait wait wait wait, hang on a sec... Shit was done... three weeks ago?" I slowly asked, trying to piece it together in my head.

Twilight walked over to the bed and sat down. "And Princess Celestia had given me instruction to notify you."

"So you do realize that this was information that would've been useful about two weeks ago... when we ran into each other at the train station." I said, placing a hand on my forehead.

"I could't risk it." She quietly mumbled.

"Risk what?"

"Losing you." She answered, elevating her tone.

"I'm so out of fucks to what."

"Listen to me. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna had given me strict instructions to notify you of the portal's completion the next time we met. But they weren't made aware that I had sent you elsewhere. So when they came around unannounced just four days ago, I finally had to tell them that you weren't living here at the palace anymore."

Well that explains the part Princess Celestia and Princess Luna was going on about when they had said that she failed to notify me of. "So you banned me from castle grounds to prevent me from knowing that the portal was done?"

"Yes."

"And you blatantly ignored me in hopes of me not finding out?"

"Yes."

"So Shining didn't have a hand in on this?" I curiously questioned.

"No. But he's still angry. Even now, he's a bit worked up from his most recent patrol."

I can attest to that, being that he stormed out of Luna's office just yesterday after speaking with her. "So I've heard."

Twilight rose from the bed, pacing back and forth. "I can't believe this. I can't believe they told you. You weren't supposed to know."

I looked up to the ceiling, hoping that some fragment of sense would fall on me from that statement. "I wasn't supposed to know that I could go back home? That doesn't sound right to me."

"I didn't want you to leave now. I wanted you to stay until the portal was done."

"Then why didn't you want to tell me this three weeks ago?"

"Because it was too soon. The portal wasn't supposed to be completed until late next month. Not two months in advance."

I started to scratch out an annoying itch on my scalp as I spoke. "And don't you think that-"

"That's it! I've thought of everything to keep you here! You didn't even sign the citizenship papers that I had arranged for you!"

I do remember those being a thing. Unfortunately, that was the same day where I was nearly choked out by her older brother. "Why would that even matter?"

Summoning the scroll. she unfurled the document and showed it to me once more. "You're a protected species for the sake of your return. If you were to become a citizen, you could lift that status and become one of us instead."

Okay, so I'd be trading my protection for the sake of being legally beaten to shit at a whim. But the upside is that I could stick around for the remainder of my days. But that wasn't the primary issue that plagued my mind. "Okay, this still makes no sense."

"What doesn't make sense?"

"You want me to stay, yet you can't even say hello."

"I already told you this, I couldn't speak to you."

"Then write me a damn letter."

"I-"

"And before you even try to justify that two-word-apology-on-a-piece-of-paper as an excuse, let me tell you how it could work: IT DOESN'T!"

Twilight stopped pacing to face me head on, snatching the certificate from me. "Then what would you do? What would you do if you were in my position? I'm a princess who was assigned to build a portal to let go of something that she eventually couldn't find herself living without. For the past month and a half, every moment I've spent building that thing has brought me closer to saying goodbye to you. Every moment I've thought about you leaving me was agony. I can't even count the times I fell to the ground just screaming for you to not leave. I can't function if you're not there to pick me up when I'm down... I realize that now"

Finally, it was my turn to sit on top of the bed. Walking over and plopping myself down, I rested my head in the palms of my hands. "Don't you think it's a bit late to tell me all of this?"

"Don't you think it's a bit too early to leave?" Twilight rebutted, sounding frustrated.

"Where are my bags?" I asked, wanting to be dismissed from this conversation.

"You can't leave!"

I shouted back, walking towards the door. "I can leave when I want to!"

"You could still-"

I promptly turned around and eyed the document in her magical possession. "Oh right, give me that certificate."

"For what?"

Walking towards her with an extended arm, she yanked it back. "I'm just gonna look at it."

"No."

"Why not?"

"You're going to destroy it, aren't you?" She questioned, shifting the scroll behind her.

"What? No. I just want to read it."

"I won't let you." She stated in defiance.

"Why not?"

"Because you won't sign it."

"Why should I sign something that I don't even know the terms that it pertains to?" I asked, walking towards her as she stammered to come up with another excuse to stop me.

"I... I... Please..."

I tapped her horn, cutting off the magical circulation that permitted her to levitate the scroll. As it hit the ground, she turned back around to grab it, but stopped shy as my hand found it first. "Just let me see the damn paper."

As I looked at the terms, I could see that they were rather similar to that of my world. As long as I was a citizen, I was permitted the right to a public vote. I could enlist in the military, despite my desire not to. I was allowed to purchase property and own my own business. I had the right to pursue my happiness as long as it didn't infringe upon the happiness of others. Despite these seemingly fair terms, I knew that there had to be some fine print that I wasn't aware of in such a brief viewing.

"There, you saw it. Now give it back." Twilight demanded, as I started to fold the document.

I walked towards the window, still folding the document into distinctive shapes before it's final form had finally surfaced. With a simple flick of my wrist, I flung the piece of paper out of the window and watch the wind take it wherever fate so desired. "And away we go."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" She screamed at me.

"Paper airplane. What else does it look like?"

Twilight's jaw fell to the floor. "That was your only means to stay here."

"Yeah. I know." I said calmly, shrugging my shoulders and walking back to the bed to sit down.

"How could you be so flippant?"

I had noticed that she was very on edge because of my most recent stunt. She was beyond upset that I had tossed the only means of my stay to the winds of the world, letting fate do what it would to it. I guess she would be a little tense. "Twilight, if I was destined to stick around, then something would happen to me within the next few hours, either to prevent me from leaving or to convince me into staying. I think that you should just take it easy."

"Take it easy? I can't. I refuse! How can I take it easy when the someone I find myself loving won't..." Twilight stopped herself cold after she had realized what she had unwittingly said to me. She started to turn away from me in embarrassment before I had rose off of the bed and prevented her from doing so.

I had dropped to my knees, holding her in place as I wanted her to say those words again. "Come again?"

"Nevermind. I'll just-"

"No, you said something. Now what did you say?"

She blushed a light shade of pink as we were mere inches away from each other. Initially, she avoided looking at me. "...How could I take it easy when the someone I find myself loving w-"

I knew that my body was going way faster than what my mind could react to. It was like something took over. My entire being was more or less possessed by something powerful. It had to have been something else, my mind was too lost in observing what was going on. My lips parted hers, my tongue sinking into her mouth and brushing against hers. Her eyes remained open from shock, while mine shut to take her in. I stumbled forward, causing her to fall to her haunches. Soon after, her back met with the floor as I dove in after her.

Twilight whimpered lightly as she tried to back away, yet I didn't allow her. As I pulled away from her, I could feel her hoof wrapping my head, roughly frisking me as she pulled me back towards her. A sloppy pillar of saliva remained between us as it fell against her lips. Her eyes seemed to have a brilliant shine in them as she panted. I offered to speak, yet I was only silenced by her quiet moans. Her back arched as she pulled me against her.

Eventually, our excitement had started to get the better of the both of us. I attempted to pull myself up, only to be yanked back into her eager lips again. My more primal instincts took over as I started to adjust myself, holding her body against mine as I slowly worked my hips against hers. In mere seconds, I could feel not only the tightening of my pants grow unbearable, but the moistening of the pants I wore. Finally, we broke apart long enough to speak.

"You know, I've been really wanting to do that to you for a while."

Twilight grew anxious, looking away from me as she brought a hoof to her muzzle. "Please don't do that again." She whined quietly.

"Why not?"

"Because it's too painful."

With a devious smirk, I anchored myself against the ground, placing my hands on either side of her. "Oh, so does this hurt?"

I pushed into her, letting myself slowly press into her. The wet stain on the crotch of my pants only dampened as I took my time to let her suffer the agonizing pain of her arousal. One of her hooves reached out to push against me, holding me back as I pulled off quickly and started the process all over again. Even Twilight had grown confused with herself.

"Yes- I mean no! Oh sweet Celestia, don't let it stop. NO! Stop, get off! "

Acknowledging her request, I rose off of her. Despite her magic trying to usher me back to my previous ministrations, I rose off of my knees and stood on my feet eyeing the purple mare as she tried to cover the soaked entrance with her tail. I chuckled at her, despite the pain of my erection being confined in my pants. "I guess that's payback for what you did to me."

"I hate you." She playfully spat at me.

"I know."

"Get out of my palace." She pouted as she rose back to her hooves, trying her best to keep her tail down.

"I'll be back later anyways."

Twilight finally looked at me with a smile for the first time in months. I felt the familiar warmth from her that I was so used to receiving. "I guess I'll see you then?"

"Maybe, that is if you feel like showing up."

Her ears folded at my words, reminding her of why I was coming back in the first place. "Honestly, I don't." She said as her smile disappeared and grew into a sad frown.

"So, I guess I won't be seeing you."

"No, I said that I don't feel like showing up. But that doesn't mean that I won't see you later."

I scoffed as she corrected me. "You're so annoying at times." I muttered, shaking my head.

"I know." Twilight whispered.

By the time my eyes and closed and opened, I found myself standing in the guestroom of the Carousel Boutique once again. Looking around, I saw the bags of clothes that were packed lined up at the door.

"When did I get back here?" I blinked several more times to see if I was hallucinating, but the obvious stain on my pants as well as my softening erection was a clear indication that I was far from delusional. I took in the comfort that I wasn't going crazy.

"Nondis! Everypony is waiting for you at the castle. You don't want to be late." I heard Rarity call from downstairs.

Realizing that wearing these pants would be a bad idea, I decided to change quickly into something else. "Party doesn't start till I walk in. Give me a minute."

As I pulled one of the suitcases to the side, I opened it and pulled out another pair of jeans. I took off the soiled pair and folded it neatly to replace the pair I took out. As I did, something had caught my eye. I looked to something flickering in the window. As I started to investigate what it was, I had noticed that it was a paper swan sitting outside of my window, stuck to one of the tree limbs brushing against the glass.

Weird. How did that even get here?

After a few minutes of changing clothes and looking back over the events that occurred in my time being here, I marched downstairs, struggling with the bags I carried. Rarity, however, insisted that I didn't carry the bags. Instead, Spike was to bring my bags to the castle while Rarity and Sweetie Belle took me for a last-minute re-tour around the town. When I walked out into the streets, I could see a few ponies waiving back at me. It didn't take any time for Sweetie to start developing tears of sadness. Rarity, on the other hand, was very resilient, that is until we ended our tour in front of the castle.

When we walked inside, I was greeted by a banner unfurling from midair and a rain of confetti. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash held the banner as the others cheered upon my arrival. Rarity tearfully hugged me as Applejack trotted over and gave me a playful hit to the top of the head. Though she was a bit heavy-hoofed, she meant well. Pinkie Pie wore her usual party smile, singing and prancing around the room. But deep down, I saw how sad she really was. She put up an impressive front, but after her earlier performance, I wasn't sold on her feeling that way.

Across the room, I could see all four princess standing next to each other. And it was obvious that they were standing in front of a large, white tarp. When the four broke from center, Celestia and Luna both used their magic to unveil a tall, square-shaped, unimpressive blue mirror. I looked to Twilight, who was trying her best to smile. When I had walked over to speak with the princesses, she stood in front of the mirror as if I was going to walk into it. As I walked towards her, she broke her smile and ran at me. Before I could react, she had tackled me down to the ground and sobbed as she hugged me.

Have I ever mentioned that those tackle-hugs really don't feel too great upon impact, especially with unicorn horns?

Celestia, Luna and Cadance shared laughs amongst each other as Luna stood in front of the mirror.

"This is not what it may seem. True, it looks to be a mirror if you stand in front of it, but there is much more to it if you so happen to touch it."

Twilight got off of me and magically pulled me back to my feet, ushering me towards the mirror. "Go on. Touch it."

When I waived at it, I could see my reflection move in junction with my body. Of course, that was not the main thing I was asked to do. I could always make silly faces in front of any mirror. Being cautious, I slowly poked my finger at the surface. When the flesh of my finger came into contact with the looking glass, it melted around my finger, rippling and glowing as it started to suck me in. In reaction, I pulled my hand away, startled of what it really was.

"What is that thing?" I asked, still a little spooked from the unusual experience.

"That is your way home." Celestia answered. "This is the portal to your world. And it will remain active so long as you stay here."

I stared back at myself in the now-restored surface of the mirror. "So if I go through it, what happens then?"

"We would deactivate the portal from here, sealing you back into your own world." Cadance stated.

"So no summertime visits, huh?"

"It's not because of you." Luna added. "It is for the safety of not only your world, but ours as well."

I have to admit, I was a little bummed out from knowing that I couldn't see them from time to time. After all, this world had become similar to my escape. Twilight saw that I had started to become uncomfortable and she walked over to see me. "These kinds of portals are best kept open for a short amount of time. At most, they could stay open for a few days before we would start to see catastrophic reactions occurring between the two connected worlds."

"So, I can't come back."

She looked away from me and towards the portal. "Sadly, no."

So if I leave, then I could never come back. I always had a hunch that something like that was going to happen, but at least I was holding some sort of hope for if that wasn't the case. I would plan to come back whenever I had a holiday or something. Thanksgiving and Christmas would be spent with my family. Spring and summer breaks, I would come back here. But now, even that possibility was shot down.

Or maybe not, but very unlikely.

I walked back to grab my bags, getting ready to toss them through. Much to everyone's disbelief, I had rolled the bags up, one by one. I could already feel my heartbeat gradually increasing from the anxiety of what I was going to do. When I had finally rolled all of the bags up, I closed my eyes and let my mind wander back to the first time I came here.

From day one, I was assured a comfort that I was unfamiliar to outside of my family. From the time I ran into a tree, to even now, where I stood before the portal that guaranteed my safe return to Austin, I had taken into account of the world I was leaving. This is far from the world I've come to know and tolerate. I say tolerate instead of love because not much was really interesting in my life across the glass. But since my coming here, it's been anything but uninteresting. I've wandered into a world of magical talking equines who live and breathe just as I do, have emotions as I do, smile, laugh, talk, cry, pout, rage, become scared as I do. Granted, there are some things in this world that are running along some dark parallels of my own. But I guess not all places are perfect.

Back then however, my social life was rather lacking. In truth, I am socially awkward. VERY socially awkward Hell, I'm still awkward as fuck even now. I couldn't hold a conversation for more than five minutes, I was never good at picking up girls and I was far from the most popular guy in college. But instead, I've stepped out of my room, started to learn how to speak with others. Even though I do stumble on a few subjects, I can start a conversation, sustain it and end it as well.

My life was pretty boring at first. Now I've can clearly say, with caution, that these past experiences were a horse of a different color. Some pun intended. But now was the time for me to get out of my comfort zone and face the trials ahead. It was time to go home.

But not before I said a few words first.

"Hey Obama!" I shouted at the mirror, gaining a peculiar response from the others.

"I gotta question for you. Why is it that when I get out of college, I'm gonna be swamped to hell with student loan payments? And then can you explain to me why it would take me up till when I'm fifty to pay them all off? Oh, and lets add the fucking economy into this conversation while we're at it. Unemployment is going down, yet I won't be able to find a job out of college, much less work to pay off my debts. On to the next subject, Delta Phi, fuck you! You promised me a lifetime of brotherhood if I had joined your stupid organization. Why is it that I haven't even gotten sixty seconds of that so-called brotherly love? Humanity, why is it that you can't stop fucking killing each other? Why is it that kids walking down the streets have a better chance of catching a bullet to the skull over finding a dollar on the ground? I mean seriously, fuck you."

I heard Rainbow Dash whisper from behind me. "What's he talking about?"

"But why am I sitting here, screaming like a drunken redneck from backwood Alabama? Right... I'm going home. I'm going back to all of the crazy shit and pre-World-War-Three garbage because it's what I know and love. I love being able to sit on my ass and eat junk food like I'm finding the lost city of Atlantis in the bitch. I love being able to download porn and trojan viruses on my computer. Why, because I can feel free to enjoy a good fap every now and then. I love being able to sit in my room and ignore the world outside while I stay hooked on my Xbox, shooting at twelve-year-old's from dark corners. I love the ignorant lifestyle I know. I love going online and discussing the newest anime on multiple forums. I love being misunderstood. I love that I can sit in my room and no one would even give a flying fuck on what I'm doing in there. I love that life."

Fluttershy whispered back to Rainbow Dash. "I'm assuming it must have something to do with his home."

"And Melanie... I'm sorry. I love how you were my friend and the closest thing to my first major relationship. I love everything about you, your hair, your smile, the way you laugh, the way you nitpick on what I would wear whenever you wanted to hang out, the episodes where you had a bad break-up and I was there to comfort you. And despite my best efforts to turn you towards me, you still chose someone else, and I forgave you for it. I loved every single second that I spent with you."

Applejack whispered behind me. "Who the hay is Melanie?"

"Beats me, dear." Rarity responded. "But it sounded as if he had a strong attraction towards her."

"He did." Pinkie Pie added.

"I love Austin, Texas. I was born there. I fell on my ass there. I had my childhood there, my first crush, followed by my first heartbreak. I had my first bully, and many more after. I had my first friend there. I was raised there and went to my favorite college."

I walked over to Twilight, giving her a hug. As she clutched onto me, I invited the others to join me. All five of the other mares joined up with Twilight, wrapping their hooves around whatever part of me they could reach. I tried my best to hold all of them, but my arms were just too short to accommodate all six mares. Standing back up and removing myself from the bundle of hugs, I clenched my jaw and felt the courage that drove me forward this entire time. I stood before the mirror, just inches away from it.

"I said that I was going home and I stand by that. Austin, Texas was the place I lived in. But that's not what I call home."

Immediately, the entire room became resonant with the sounds of gasps and whispers. Twilight ran up to me, shocked of what I had said.

"Nondis... what are you-"

And before she could even finish, I had pulled out the paper swan that sat outside of my window. As I unfolded it, I could see the ponies faces transform into brilliant smiles. Finally ridding the paper of all of it's creases, I showed it to Princess Twilight.

"And from now on, I'm an Equestrian citizen and desire to be treated as such."

Celestia and Luna stood speechless as Cadance became their voice. "But I though that you-"

"In case you haven't heard me the first time, I guess I could start off from the part about my student loan payments-"

Twilight placed a hoof on my lips, silencing me. "That won't be necessary."

As she took her hoof off of my lips, I started to continue on. "Or maybe I could start from the part about me finding Atlantis in a bag of potato chips?"

"Shut it!" Twilight commanded while I continued to ignore her.

"Or maybe I could go back to the part about my friend Melanie-"

I was silenced once and for all as Twilight planted her lips against mine. My words climbed up my throat and stopped short of the lips she plugged with her own. Our brief exchange left me silent for a short while. Meanwhile, she pulled up the certificate with the signatures of all of the princess, plus the recent addition of my own signature.

"Can we talk about how you've gotten this back?"

As I went on to explain about the piece of paper set between the window pane and the tree branch, Rainbow Dash went on to clarify that she had planted it there to intentionally show me the paper, thinking that I hadn't seen it before. Turns out that she wanted me to stay as well, but mainly for the sole reason of seeing me wear a dress again. Twilight jumped and flied around the room as if she was a young filly, screaming and shouting as Celestia officially registered me as a citizen.

After her royal decree, I had asked her on the reason of why she had to put me to sleep as opposed to simply telling me that the portal was done. Her answer: it was much quicker to get me to Ponyville based on a medical emergency than it was to resign me from Rarity's fashion shows, sending me back on a train, which was still delayed due to inspection from the recent cave-in, and sending me to the palace, which I was previously banned from setting foot in. Not only that, but it was a way where everyone else had the chance to spend some time with me, rather than me showing up and just leaving.

Seems legit, almost as if she had planned it all to fall together so masterfully.

But there was still the question that lingered. Why did I choose to stay? Well, I thought it would be best to start all over. True, I had a life back in my world, a family who still loves me, a home to go to and a college life that was... well... secluded. I still had to apologize to Melanie, but with the portal's completion, I could do that at any time. If I go missing for a while, I'm sure the U.S. Government wouldn't mind it too much, especially one in a population of three-hundred-sixteen million.

And besides, I really didn't want to slave my life away to pay off Sallie Mae.

Here, I could start my entire social experience from square one. Instead of going back to the comfortable life of a social recluse, I decided to brave the outside world and speak outside of internet forums and online gaming. I wanted to live in a world that wasn't so inclined to collapse in on itself. I wanted to have a peaceful existence without hearing about x-terrorist group killing y-citizens, or this-country invades that-country. I was always going to hear about the politicians doing something corrupt, but still, there's the integrity of the media here. And the housing market doesn't seem too shabby.

The pursuit of happiness was a little more difficult being that I was still going to be seen as something completely different from societal norms, but at the very least, I had a head start on knowing how to deal with it. I know where I can find a job, I have friends to talk to and a mare who likes me for who I am.

I guess that it wasn't so complicated after all...

...But I'd be lying if I said that it didn't even get more complex than before.

YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT THE STORY WAS GOING TO END HERE, DID YOU? NOW YOU'LL BE TRAPPED ON THE RIDE, FOREVER! MWAHAHAHA!!!

Ahem... Thanks for reading followers, but your ending is in another chapter. Feel free to stick around if you want to know what the title of this story really pertains to.

It goes without saying that I've made a really significant decision with my life. I used to be locked away in my dorm, playing video games, watching anime, enjoying the occasional porn binge, arguing with people on the online forums and rejecting IRL social life activity. Six months later, I was in a whole new world full of talking multicolored equines. I converse with others daily, I meet up with friends (notice that there's an 's' at the end of the word 'friend'), I've started to fall for a cute mare who likes me back.

If you would've told me that I was going to be in a relationship with anyone beside Melanie, then I would've kindly told you to piss off and shoot yourself, or 'an hero' as I'd call it online.

But that's the thing. This whole entire thing was moving faster than what I was used to. I didn't know how to handle it initially, but after the first two months, I started to adapt. Princess Twilight was making it certain that my comfort was similar to that of when I was at home. And they opened up their hooves to me, welcoming me into their society. And then I got a little too comfortable and decided to stay around.

And in speaking of staying around, do you know how red a white unicorn can get when angry? I didn't think crimson would be the color of choice, but upon discovering that I was sticking around, Shining Armor managed to show me just how red he could get. I think even the roses got jealous. Thankfully, both Twilight and Cadance had put a leash on him so that I could carry on my new life sans the persecution of the furious prince.

And after three weeks, he has yet to be any less angry.

"Nondis, I'm not so sure I can do this."

"Twilight, just take it easy. It'll be a lot easier if you loosen up and not even think about it."

"How are you so sure?"

"Trust me."

"What if it hurts?"

"Trust me, it won't."

"But what if I start to feel funny?"

"Then just let your body run it's course."

Twilight laid face down in her sheets as I hovered above her. Placing my hands around her waist. She turned back to me with nervous eyes, unsure of what I would do next. "I've never did this before."

"I know, which is why I'm gonna be the one to break you in." I answered as I straddled above her.

Starting to feel a little uncomfortable, the purple mare started to squirm a little. "Break me in? I-I don't like the sound of that too much."

"Twilight, it'll be over soon. Now just lay down and relax. I got this." I stated as I lowered myself.

Turning back into the pillow, she sighed deeply and became tense at my touch. "You said that you'd break me in. I'm not sure on how I want to be broken into."

"Twi, just let it happen."

Finally lowering myself on top of her, my fingers slid deep into her hide as I started to slowly work into her. "Oh, that's deep." She moaned quietly into the pillow.

"You like that?"

"Mmmmyes. Deeper please." She pleaded, egging me to go even further in.

"Look at you. Taking it like a pro."

Raising her head, she turned back to me with a smile. "Only because my special somepony is doing it to me."

"You feel comfortable?" I asked as I pushed forward.

She gave off a light grunt and a slight intake of air as she jolted a bit. "I'd feel even more comfortable if you took those jeans off."

"How come?"

"Your zipper's poking into my flank." She complained with an attitude.

Honestly, if I'd take these jeans off, then there would be something else even larger poking into her. The only difference is that she would probably take it with stride, knowing how she can get at times. "Oh. Then how would you feel about this?"

I wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her into me as I stealthily thrusted against the pair of purple cheeks. I chuckled after she let out a gasp and turned back to me with a more serious look.

"Get off!" She protested.

"I would like to, but you won't let me." I shot back.

"Mind out the gutter, Nondis."

"What? You walked in on me beating my meat just once and you decide to place me under restriction for it." That was more than two weeks ago. And to go into further detail, I had a free day to myself. If I wasn't gonna bust a nut that day (which I didn't), then I'd be a lucky bastard to get a second chance.

"It's only because I think it's a waste. Why go at it yourself when you can ask me to do it for you?"

I rolled my eyes at her question. "Well, it's because you never do it for me. Every time I ask if I could, you'd say no."

Pulling me towards her, Twilight used her magic to yank me forward, causing her muzzle to meet with my ear. "And I'm gonna keep saying no as long as you keep begging for it." She whispered with a juvenile cheer, smiling deviously all the while.

Twilight and I have been playing with each other like this since I made my decision to stay in Equestria. Of course, we never really become satisfied from the antics, just frustrated as all hell. Every so often, I'd tease her to the point where she had no other choice but to literally teleport away from me to prevent herself from reaching a climax. But at the same time, she toys with me, giving me a series of pleasures that the human mind could not even fathom. And once again, I don't get to finish, similar to how she doesn't let herself climax. It's really more of a battle of attrition, a competition where we try to see who is the first one to become a feral mess by the time of my approval process. And thus far, I am losing.

"Now that's just evil." I vocalized as I rose from on top of her and moved myself towards the other side of her.

"Hey, if I can go without hoofing myself for nine months, so can you." She shot back at me, trying to use her ability of self-restraint as an argument against me.

"Twilight, the human sex drive is much more active than that of a pony's." As I laid next to her, I raised my right hand, letting my fingers walk up the purple curvatures of her rear end, trailing past her cutie mark and towards the top of her tail.

"I don't think you've ever heard of this little thing called estrus." Twilight said as she relaxed herself, allowing me to do whatever I wanted to.

"I thought that your rings prevented that." I said, sliding my hand towards the warmth of her nether region. Unfortunately, my climb to my destination ended with a detour as her magic grabbed me and made me trace around the dock of her tail.

"No. I said that they tone down the symptoms. I never said that they'd rid me of estrus altogether."

I try to resist her pull, but her magic is far too powerful for me to overcome. Instead, I let her guide me to where she wants to be touched. She directs me from her tail to the outside ridge of her nether region, causing me to barely feel the moist air of her entrance. My fingers itched to sink inside of her. But Twilight knew better than to let me sink my fingers into her slick entrance. Though she did give me a few brushes against the skin of her exterior. I couldn't help but to bite my upper-lip as she let my fingers gloss against the silver rings that sealed her shut. With a playful chortle, she shoved my hand in between her haunches, letting me feel the trace amounts of her arousal as it slowly trickled down from her nethers. I wanted to use my other hand to sink my fingers deep into her eager passages, but I knew that she would rather me play fair.

"Now, this estrus thing. Isn't it when you're in heat or something?" I felt her hind legs close around my hand, locking me in place as she retracted her magic. She shifted her body, letting my hand brush against her as my hand started to stain with her essence.

"Yes and no. Actually, it's when-"

Aw, fuck...

"Twily, I'm both respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your older brother by coming in anyway."

Aw, fuck squared.

"NO WAIT!" Twilight shouted as she instinctively locked her haunches around my wrist, inadvertently preventing my escape. I pulled myself free and sat on my soaked hand, all in just enough time as Shining Armor entered the room, giving me his usual mean-spirited glare.

"And what are you two doing?"

I laughed nervously as I secretly wiped my hands of the musky scent. "Okay. I can explain... This was all Twilight's idea."

"What!? You traitor!" She shouted as she gave me a shove.

I mimicked her voice the best that I could. "Preen me! Preen me! Massage my wing pits for me please. I've been itching down there for months and my magic hasn't been able to pinpoint the right angle to blah, blah, blah." Which in truth, this was how it all started. I was asked to preen her wings and massage her wing pits for the sake of just cause.

"Your fingers are the only thing that would work!" She stressed, trying to justify her reasons for having me to preen her feathers for her.

"Excuse me, but did I hear there was some wing-pit massaging going on?" I heard a second voice call out from the hallway. As the second pony came into view, Twilight jumped off of the bed and ran over to the other princess.

"Cadance. Explain to him about it!" Twilight demanded almost childishly.

The pink princess stifled a laugh as she walked up to me and placed a hoof on my shoulder. "Nondis, babe, I think I should explain to you about the more intricate duties of being a coltfriend to that of an alicorn princess. Also pegasi in general."

I let my eyes wander, only to come into contact with a very indignant Shining Armor. It seems that he didn't like the fact that his wife had so lovingly called me 'babe'. Taking my eyes off of him and locking back on to the princess, I tried to block out his rather ominous presence. "Okay. I'm listening."

"To endure the long, mournful cries of your marefriend as she constantly finds herself itching from the painful reminder of her feathers being knocked out of place, it's an agony of sorts. We can be really moody if our wings are not in the right order. So when we preen, we shuffle some of our feathers back into place, picking out some of our old ones so that new ones would grow in and prevent in-grown feathers, which is just downright uncomfortable."

"So if I may ask, what causes the feathers to shuffle out of place?" If a stare could produce heat, I'd feel Shining burning a large hole into my forehead. Somehow, I think that's what he was imagining.

"The accumulation of daily life. Galloping, flying, using our wings to perform prehensile tasks, which pales in comparison to the accuracy of your fingers might I add."

"Have you ever flown with clustered feathers?" Twilight interjected, flapping one of her wings.

Cadance scoffed at the question. "Twilight, I was a pegasus at birth. The drag it produces while you fly is murderous."

"I know, right?"

"Can we please move on to something else? I don't have all day." Shining interrupted, killing the bright mood as he turned around to face the open door. Meanwhile, Cadance seemed to give him a serious glare.

Rolling her eyes at her husband, Cadance tried to recreate the cheerful mood from just earlier. "Sorry, Twilight. Shiny's just fussy because I told him that I wasn't in the mood last night."

Twilight yelped at the thought of Cadance turning down sex, or just the aspect of her and her older brother going at it. She slammed her hooves against her ears, shaking her head as she tried to cleanse her mind of the sight of her older brother and her ex-foalsitter conducting maritals. "TOO MUCH INFO!"

The pink princess then reminded herself on who she was talking to."Oops, sorry."

"Cadance, I wouldn't mind hearing about the more intimate details of your sex life if it wasn't the fact that it was all with my older brother." As Twilight spoke, I was too busy having a laugh with myself. "Why are you laughing?"

"What can I say? Bro's got some skills."

Cadance seemed to blush at the joke and started to laugh as Twilight desperately tried to block me out the best she could. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALALALALA!"

"Can we be serious for a moment, please!?" Shining shouted, killing the playful mood once more.

Cadance performed a quick about-face and and scolded her husband. "Shining, don't be a stick in the mud. If you want, you can wait down the hall."

"Fine..." He hissed as he gave me one last ugly look before walking out of the room.

After his departure, the room become silent. The tension that rose between Shining and Cadance did more than enough to silence all of us for a significant amount of time. "Awkward... So princess, what's the deal?" I asked, trying to break the newly-formed ice.

"I swear he acts like a child sometimes." Cadance muttered.

"Princess?"

Cadance jumped up at my voice, snapping out of her foul disposition. "Sorry! Got a little distracted. But anyways, Princess Celestia has requested your presence."

"By your, you mean Twilight, Me, Myself or I?"

"All of the above."

"Great. So what do I need to do?"

Cadance smiled as she pointed towards Twilight. "Bring your marefriend and your legal documents in relation to your citizenship."

"So I'm being put in the database?" I asked.

"It's only for job opportunities." She answered as she started to walk out the door.

"Well I guess I don't mind that too much. Let's go!"

"Okay then."Cadance cheered as she left the room while Twilight and I followed her. We soon found ourselves in the hallway, trailing the pink alicorn as she walked up to her grumpy husband. "Shining, are you done acting like a spoiled child now?"

Shining looked at his wife with a frown and glanced back at me. His frown then grew into a bitter scowl. Grumbling and mumbling, the stallion turned around and started marching down the hall. "The sooner we get this done, the better." The prince said as he stormed down the hall, escorting us towards the other princesses.

Either he was well aware of me and Twilight's activities, or he was just being a dick for the sake of just cause. Either way, he wasn't too happy with my warming up to his baby sister.

Meanwhile, Twilight seemed a bit uneasy due to the unresolved situation between me and her older brother."Nondis, I'm so, so sorry for how-"

"You're good. Older brother stuff. I know." I finished for her.

"But even then, he-"

"Is your older brother. He's just really protective of you." I said, trying my best to comfort Twilight, as well as trying to dismiss the subject.

"...You think so?"

"In my world, older brothers would be threatening to kill their younger sister's dates."

Both Cadance and Twilight stopped walking to turn to me slack-jawed. "Seriously!?" They asked in unison.

"Ehhhhh... Not really. It was more of an implied statement rather than a verbal one."

"How is it implied?" Cadance questioned as I tried to think of a decent example. Luckily, I could come up with one off the top of my head.

"Have you ever been around a guy who chopped wood while talking about how a random individual got 'lost' in the forest?"

The pink princess gulped and held her neck with a hoof... "Yesh..."

"Yeah, this isn't that bad."

Cadance seemed to still have a desire to dwell on the subject. "But Shining... didn't he-"

"Great weather we're having, huh ladies?" I interrupted, trying to get us to move on to another topic of discussion. "I bet that Rainbow Dash and the weather team had cleared the clouds out pretty early."

Our walk towards the meeting room couldn't have ended any sooner. The levels of discomfort that I was in as Shining walked in front of me in silence was more than enough to put me on edge. Not only was he quiet whenever someone asked him a question, he'd then open doors with forceful aggression. If he had pulled the doors to the main hall any harder, then he would've pulled it straight off of the hinges. Luckily, when we walked in, both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were already seated, so he couldn't pull a fast one on me.

In minutes, I presented my paperwork, signed a document officially naming me as the first human to become an Equestrian citizen. Filed more paperwork for healthcare, life insurance, welfare for if I needed to apply, voting registration and a bunch of other things that I just don't have the time to name off. Finally finished with the basics, I asked for more information on the approval process.

"So... what's this 'approval' thing I have to complete in order for me and Twilight to officially become a thing?" I casually asked as I handed the last bit of documentation pertaining to my status.

"Actually," Cadance began. "It's really more of a vote. Of course, I'd have to put my personal feelings into consideration when I cast my vote because, well, she's my little sister... legally, of course. But I still have an emotional attachment to Twilight."

"So who else votes on the issue?" I inquired.

"To go even further," Celestia continued. "I'd also cast a vote due to my relationship as Twilight's former mentor and current friend. Not only have we shared moments with each other as pupil and instructor, but also that of a mother towards her child."

"I'd also have to cast a ballot due to my friendship with Twilight. Not only was she the one who freed me from my dark powers, but she also taught me how to socialize with other ponies of this time and age. I do owe it to her to cast my vote for her sake." Luna added.

"Personally, I don't think it would work." Shining muttered from the other side of the room.

"Um... is he like, casting a vote as well?" I nervously asked towards Cadance.

"He is Twilight's older brother and by biological means. So yes."

Well fuck. I got four royals casting their votes on me and one of them already wants to see me dead. Well, on the bright side, I'd have to have only a majority... Right??? "So who else would vote on the issue?"

"Well," Twilight started. "There would be Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Spike," Can this vote get any worse? No, majority rules, Nondis. "Both mom and dad, Discord, I suppose Big Mac and Granny Smith could throw in their vote, um..." Twilight paused for a moment, thinking about who to name off. "I can't think of anypony else."

Well that's fifteen, including Princess Cadance, Princess Luna, Princess Celestia and Shining Armor. But still, that leaves two nay-sayers and a bunch of neutral-party voters. I've never met Twilight's parents, I don't know what the other princesses think of me, Big Mac and Granny Smith is just as on-the-fence as the princesses and add Pinkie Pie with the possibility of vocalizing her disapproval. I wouldn't even have a solid majority, even if Rainbow, Rarity, Fluttershy, Discord and Applejack all said yes. In short, I need to win over some votes.

"Oohh... that's not good." Cadance mumbled out as she held a hoof to her mouth.

"What?" Twilight asked worriedly.

"You still need five more to carry out the vote."

"Mr. and Mrs. Cake!" I threw in. "They could easily give their vote."

"That's nice, but that leaves three more needed to fill the empty spots."

"Inkie, Blinkie and Maud!" I shouted off the top of my head, adding the three names to the list. But then my mind started to wander towards the possibility of if they didn't approve of me rejecting Pinkie for Twilight. That would not end well. "Well, on second-"

"That's a great idea!" Twilight cheered. "With that, the ballot is closed."

I still don't like my chances. "Okay, so we just need a majority vote, right?"

"Actually," Shining interjected once more. "The ballot comes down to a three-fourths vote, followed by a majority vote of all of the immediate family members."

Well that changes everything. "Cadance, is your husband just spouting off shit to scare me?"

"No... You really need that many votes to make it a solid approval. After all, this is royalty you're dealing with. If you want to make this happen, then you'd-"

"Have to kiss ass..." I finished with a defeated sigh.

"I wouldn't put it like that." Twilight said as she walked beside me, placing a hoof on my shoulder. "All you have to do is stick it out for the next few months and we can be official."

"Few months?" I quoted.

"In fairness to the family, it is required that the couple would at least wait for around six months to make a decision on whether the outcome of the relationship would be something that they'd approve of, thus why it's called the approval process." Celestia clarified.

Oh no... So that means that Shining Armor, being an immediate family member, has to convince his family that I'm no good, all while I'm trying to convince them that he's wrong. And if he's conservative on his views, then I can only imagine what his dad or his mom would be like. And to bring up two kids and have them both assume royalty?

It would be easier to argue with the grass and say it's purple.

"Fortunately for me, Cadance's only family member was one in the adoptive sense." Shining bragged, adding further discomfort.

"And she just so happens to be the one who can advocate for your divorce, sign your divorce papers, preside as the judge in the divorce court, strip you of your princely title and make the judgments on whether or not you can keep your job as Captain of the Royal Guard." Celestia added, causing Shining Armor to sit in silence. "But that didn't stop you from applying." She finished with a unsettling smile.

Wow... In all honesty, I didn't think that Celestia could even go there. And to add more to it, she's voting on my relationship as well. Remind me to not piss her off. "So... that gives me six months to convince the immediate family of how I can be a good suitor to Twilight, right?"

"Which is also to you benefit. It gives you the time to make your case and to prove any possible nay-sayers..." Celestia glanced back at a silent Shining Armor. "To be wrong."

"It's just a six month wait. You'll be too busy to even notice." Cadance added, trying to make me feel better about the situation.

"You mean with finding a job?"

Luna nodded in agreement. "Precisely. All you have to do is just be patient and wait until then."

I don't wanna wait that long for some action... But in order to make this relationship work as a whole, I have to. Besides, Twilight deserves it.

Cadance give me a playful nudge. "Now there is a bit of a saving-grace for you-"

"That won't be necessary, Cadance." Twilight interrupted before the pink princess could continue.

"But Twilight, I'd think he would at least-"

"He is not going to be bedding any other mares throughout the course of this relationship!"

Bedding other mares, like literally fucking them? Wait a fucking minute! That was my saving grace!? That's like giving a crackhead three billion dollars to use as he damn-well please. That's like getting a get-out-of-jail-free card and having it in lifetime supply. That's really generous for an approval process... Too generous.

"Twilight, it's only for recreational purposes, to give him a chance to sow his bachelor oats. Besides, I think that his desire for you is more than you know."

"Then he won't be with anypony else."

Or maybe, that's part of the test. Maybe it's some sort of set-up where the family would then see my iniquities and brand me as an unsuitable individual to enter into a long-term relationship with. It's a trap, and it is one I will not be not falling for. "That's fair, I guess."

"I think it's fair too. Twily's happiness has to be taken into account when it comes to this entire process. If she feels unhappy about the circumstances, then she'd ultimately would decide to call off the entire thing. If there's one thing I won't stand, it's to see my little sister heartbroken and unhappy." Shining spoke once more, breaking his silence. I guess that's something we have in common.

"Nondis, you will be true to this agreement, won't you?" Twilight asked, finally calming down.

"Of course." Why wouldn't I be? If I have feelings for her, then I should be able to stick it out for the six months. I just need to campaign myself to be a suitable fit for Twilight. No problems in that.

"Very well then." Celestia calls out. "It is decided that Twilight and Nondis will be in pending for the approval of their marriage."

Wait a sec... MARRIAGE!?

After a short explanation of the situation from Princess Celestia, the meeting was adjourned on the note that I would be betrothed to Princess Twilight Sparkle. Unfortunately, that was not what I had planned. I had thought that the approval process was more of a green light to take the relationship to new heights. But this was just way too much for me to think about. Silver lining, at least my mom won't have to complain about me not having a girlfriend in college.

But that thought didn't stop me from confronting Twilight in private about the whole situation. We took the conversation to my room, and Twilight was doing all that she could to keep me from having a mental breakdown.

"I'm sorry! I thought that Cadance explained it to you the night of the incident with you and my older brother. When Cadance and Shining Armor were approved, they were subsequently married to one another."

"No! She didn't tell me that! Why the hell... fuck didn't she tell me the whole entire thing!? Don't you think it's a bit too soon to go into marriage-mode?" At this point, I had started to take after Twilight's usual neurotic episodes. And in place, she was rather collected about the whole situation. I guess it's easy knowing what you're getting into before the situation occurs ahead of time.

"That's the only way that this relationship can go to the next level. Why do you think that princesses who were deflowered were given the chance to marry the colt involved shortly after their titles were stripped?"

"So if we have sex outside of marriage, we get married minus the perks of being royalty. If we have sex in marriage, then we would be married so it wouldn't matter then because hey, we're married. If I disagree to a marriage, then I get my balls cut off. What kind of law is that? This shit makes no sense!" Growing further into hysterics, I found myself laughing at the absurdity of the royal marriage law. I knew that it was ridiculous before, but now that I'm going to be married in six months, it really made me put it into perspective.

"I don't understand it either. But it is a law that we have to live by."

I don't recall me having to live under that law back in the States. But then again, I didn't have a girlfriend to kiss and snuggle while I was there. But still, this was going way too fast for me. If anything, we need to slow the hell down before we run into something that we shouldn't for the time being. I just got into a relationship, I'm not ready for marriage. "I think we need to call this off and think about it for a bit."

Twilight walked in front of me as I sat on the bed. "You think so?" She almost sounded sad as she stood before me, raising my chin with a hoof so that I could see her eye-to-eye.

"Well, why not? Don't you think that this is moving a little too quickly?"

A weakened smile grew on her face as she gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Well don't you think that our little lustful activities are a little too soon in placement inside of our relationship? I don't recall you having much of an argument when we tease each other."

"You don't complain about it either. In fact, you're way worse than I am!" I rebutted.

"I know, but I at least practice self-control." She argued.

Objection, I call bullshit. "Then what do you call the things we did in your room the moment before your brother caught us?"

Cringing at the argument I brought up, she admitted defeat. "A lack of self-control. It was a mistake, one that I shouldn't have let happen."

"Then why did you do it?" I asked, going even further.

With a shove of her hoof to the torso, she caused me to bounce on the bed. As she spoke, she slowly crawled on top of me, giggling like a young filly as she made her way upward. "Why else? You turn me on. My instincts drive me to mate with you, and you just happen to do the right things to me to make me wanna throw you on the bed and ride you like there wasn't a care in the world. I want to do naughty things to you..." Before I could so much as blink, she brought a hoof to slide against my crotch as she straddled her hips in place of where my growth had started to occur. With a devious chuckle, she ignited her horn, causing her magic to quickly unzip my pants. "Really naughty things. But I can't do that unless we get approved."

"You were going... to stick... my dick... inside of you!"

Slowly grinding against me, I started to loathe how she was able to turn any argument we had into some sort of foreplay session. Even the way she spoke in my ear had gotten me aroused. "Only just the tip."

"That's what they all say... In fact, that's what I'm supposed to say! But what happens when desire runs you up the damn wall?" Because you're damn-near making me wanna plow you into one.

Using her magic to massage the crotch of my boxers and holding my hands down against the bed, her lips stood mere inches away from my face. "Mistakes were made. And I admit to me being out of control. That's why I punished myself so harshly, it's another reason why I had to distance myself from you for so long."

"And all it's done was make you even more cock-hungry." I teased back.

"Seriously, you have no idea what it feels like to have a guy just walk up to you, turn you on in every way possible and say the right things to you, all while meaning those things. How long have you worn chastity rings on your marehood, be in heat for multiple years prior to their enchantment, can't find a stallion for all those years and then meet one that you thought was going to leave you in a few months time?"

Try going through all of that and being on the verge of being serviced by a hyperactive mare who's tail seem to have a mind of it's own. If anything, Pinkie was more than willing to share her feelings, all over Sugarcube Corner. "Are you really that horny?"

"I will wet myself to the point where I could fill a small tub."

I give her points for being more open with our activities. Though she wasn't exactly the one to play coy. If Twilight wanted something in general, she was going to get it. Her ambitious personality, combined with her knowledge and intellect gave her the title she now wears on her head. And she wasn't afraid of trying anything new. In fact, she encouraged the idea of doing something new, though she does it 'in the name of science'. She was just that committed to finding out ways to bypass our little roadblock that she'd even make the reward even more attractive.

"I think you're starting to wet the bed too." In all seriousness, if she stopped here and now, I'd go mad with withdrawal.

Shortly after my statement, she rose off of me and planted her hooves against my chest. Initially, I questioned what she was doing, though my answer came as her purple, pony posterior came plummeting on my pelvic region. Her aim was precise, landing a solid blow of her nethers against my constricted sex. I felt the warm fluids coating my crotch, causing me to throb in protest.

"Ssss-ooooh you bad!" I hissed as I tried to free myself from her. Her hooves, still anchored against my chest, prevented me from moving. "Let me up."

"Nope. What you need to do is wait out these next six months, get our relationship approved, so that I can throw you on top of my bed again and..." She still held me in place as she leaned over to whisper into my ear. I could feel the heat of her words burn my ears "Ahem... Rut. Your. Brains. Out."

"Teasing me like this, you might have to lose your title tonight." I mumbled as she lifted herself off of me. While I waited for her to remove herself, I could catch a small whiff of her feminine essence. A light, musky scent entered into my nostrils, making me want to turn the tables against her. However, we were pressed for time as she had something else to do within the next ten minutes. I would ask her to stay longer, but I've already taken up much of her time with this recent... discussion.

"Well, I'll have leave you to that thought." She said as she slid back off of me, giving me a light tap to the crotch.

"You are such a fucking tease!"

To prove my point further, she turned around and wiped the bottom of my nose with her tail, providing me with an even-thicker smell of her juices. "That just makes the reward all that much better."

As she casually trotted away from me, she walked towards the door. And I was left sitting on the bed with a uncomfortable chill on my sex. Deep down, I hated her for what she does to me but at the same time, I loved it. "One of these days, Twilight Sparkle."

"Well, just make sure that your enthusiasm doesn't show itself when we go out to eat with the girls this evening." She said as she opened the door, making her leave.

"I will make no such promises."

How could I? My mind is going to be swimming with thoughts of how she just slammed her hips into mine. The small stain on my pants from her antics and the light stain in my boxers from my anticipation was more than enough to keep me thinking about her. The way she brushed her tail against my nose, the way she gives me that devilish smirk, the list goes on about how she can literally turn me on without even touching me. It's almost problematic.

"Remember, we meet up at Hayseed Ranch at exactly seven. Wear something nice and casual, don't be late."

As soon as she closed the door behind her, I was left sitting on the bed with a large wet spot on my jeans. By the time I heard the door click closed, I had started to pull my pants off, freeing myself from the painful confines of the soiled pair of pants. My arousal was still ever present as my hand started to feel against the outline of my growing manhood. I touched it just slightly and in response, it twitched a number of times, making me moan in pleasure. I didn't want to be stuck inside of these boxers for very long. I decided that it was time for me to breathe. I pulled my boxers down, or rather attempted to before I found a magical ring locking the elastic waist band to my hips.

"What the-"

Trying desperately to relieve myself, I settled to let myself free via the hole in the front, but that too was sealed off by magic. Settling for a third option, I tried to shift my aching member out of one of the leg holes. But my efforts were in vain as those were sealed off as well.

"And don't even think of touching it." I heard from the other side of the door.

It finally dawned on me that Twilight had cast the spell when she was fondling me on the bed. While she teased me, she used her magic on my boxers, causing me to remain a prisoner to this small article of clothing. It was genius, a well-executed plan to make me writhe in sexual frustration.

So now I'm sitting with a pair of boxers that's magically glued to me and lightly soiled in precum. That's just unfair.

After our meet-up with the girls and Spike, we finally broke the news of our approval process. Most of them cheered and happily congratulated us on taking such a large step forward in our relationship. Of course, I voiced my concerns with the marriage part of the deal, but then I was reassured that it was a decent wait in their society. And being that the wait was so lengthy for the stallion, or human in my case, the 'saving grace' was really more of a chance to have the stallion mate with many other mares. When I had disclosed that I wasn't going to be indulging in that privilege, they seemed to show even more approval of our relationship.

However, it didn't come without a few questions on the side. Rarity just pulled me to the side, asking me if I was ready to go through with something so monumental. I answered that I wasn't exactly sure and that I was more than willing to show that I was going to make things work. Pinkie did the same thing, only she was a little more argumentative. When I had told her the same things I told Rarity, she started to harp on how I should be happy with the relationship or call off the approval. But when I told her that I was content with the circumstances, she took a deep breath and wore her usual smile before moving on to other subjects. I asked her about how she and Cheese were doing, she immediately changed that subject.

Surprisingly, Spike had way fewer objections to what I was doing. In fact, he encouraged the thought of me being with Twilight. I guess he's happy as long as I'm not involved with Rarity. Yet, despite his agreement with the relationship, he did vocalize some of his concerns. She was like an older sister to him, so he wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to slip up when the going got rough. He also warned me about some rather unusual habits that Twilight had been developing since he was around her. I assumed that it was her obsessive compulsive disorder, he told me that she would tell me when she was ready to do so.

By the end of the night, Twilight and I walked back to the castle together. And when we got back, she undid her spell, much to my relief. I was too busy needing to use the restroom to be aroused. After I had gotten out, I found her laying on top of my bed, reading another one of her books. I wanted to get revenge for the little spell she placed on me, so I thought about tickling her to death.

The only problem was that Shining Armor had knocked on the door.

"Twily, are you in there?"

I'll give credit to where it's due. He's definitely on his shit when it comes to disturbing me and Twilight.

"Yes?" She answered back through the door.

"Just a reminder that you're scheduled to assist Princess Luna with some of her dream watching tonight."

"Okay!"

"I'll see you in the morning, kiddo."

"Later."

After the brief interruption, I plopped myself in the bed next to her. "Dream watching?"

"Princess Luna is going on a trip to Zebrabwe. Apparently, there's a tribe there that's been having a night-terror issue."

"An entire tribe?" I quirked an eyebrow, thinking of how a group of ponies could have the same nightmare.

"A shaman from another town had placed a curse on them. Normally they'd ask for Zecora, but even her magic isn't strong enough to tackle so many victims all at once."

"So Princess Luna is going to be the mediator?"

"Yes. And she will be the one to help Zecora on her mission. Luna has the ability to unite the dreamscape while Zecora will be the one to break the curse."

I always thought that Equestrian magic was mysterious. But now, I had kinda grown envious of not having any. Even Applejack and Pinkie Pie had their respective magic, which was strength and tending to the lands. Pegasi had flight and the ability to manipulate the weather. Unicorns were gifted with a more tangible use of their magic such as levitation, illumination and summoning. All three of these races combined had the ability to terraform this world. But what did I have?

"You okay?"

"Huh?" I said, snapping myself out of my train of thought.

"When I looked over, I saw that you were in la-la land. You okay?"

"Yeah. I was just thinking."

"What's on your mind?"

"Are ponies the only creatures to have magical capabilities?"

"No. But we are the primary users. Immediately after us would be the Changelings, followed by the Zebras, then the Draconians, the Breezies, the Canines, all the way down to the Mules, which has very little magic."

"So, I'm bottom of the pecking order?"

Twilight perked up and looked back over to me with concern. "Why do you say that?"

"Um... I'm neither of those races you've listed."

"Oh. Well... I know that in the portal to the human world that I went to, I ended up bringing Equestrian magic along with me, that and another uncanny figure who was Celestia's student before me had stolen my element and transformed into some sort of demonic creature."

She has some of the strangest stories, and I've yet to hear about all of them. Personally, I'm still in disbelief over the story of her fighting a huge centaur and coming out of it without so much as a scratch. But I digress... "But did they have magic before you came over?"

"Well... no."

"So I'm bottom of the pecking order." I repeated in deadpan.

Twilight rolled over to look me in the eye. "Why the sudden interest in magic?"

I had a immense interest in magic. I always have. But something tells me if I say that to her, then I was going to be in for a long night of shit I didn't even understand. I already have enough problems with math as it is, I don't need to learn equations that breaks the laws of human-world physics. "Just a thought that I never got around to saying out loud."

"But you still show me things that I've never experienced."

I moved myself to the edge of the bed, sitting at the foot of the mattress. "Name one thing."

Twilight snuck up behind me, locking her hooves around me as she leaned against me. I could feel the warmth of her embrace as she snuggled against me. "My first kiss."

"Aside from that."

"Well, you're the first one I've ever liked like this."

"Remember, I wasn't the first one you had it out for."

Twilight giggled after a long pause of realization. At the very least, she should remember the night she decided to share her feelings with me, as well as her previous meal. "Point taken. But you are the first anything that makes me feel the way I do towards you."

"Aww... That had to be the corniest thing I've ever heard."

"Shut up." She gave me a shove forward as she leaned against me.

"Make me." I leaned backwards, causing her to become caught in between the mattress and my back.

"You're hopeless." She mumbled from underneath the sheets.

"Hey... question." I leaned forward, letting her free to breathe once more.

"Shoot." She said as she rose up with a wild case of bed hair.

"Why is it that Shining Armor doesn't really like me hanging around you?"

As she summoned a brush to straighten out her mane, she tried to give me her best answer. "I can't say for certain, but I think-"

"Twily, time to go, kiddo!"

I swear this guy had his ear plastered to the door. There's no way he could've timed that any better than that.

Finishing up her mane, Twilight dismissed the brush into thin air and quickly walked over to the door. "I guess I'll tell you later."

"Wait," I called out, causing the purple alicorn to look to me. "So does this mean that you'll be watching other ponies wet dreams?"

"Goodnight, Nondis." She said in an annoyed tone used to disguise her amusement. By the time she walked out, Shining had pointed her in the direction she was to go. As he did, he started to chuckle amongst himself.

"What's so funny?" I asked as he looked at me with a rather suspicious grin.

"Nothing." He simply stated as he started to walk away. Before I could follow him to ask any further questions, he telekinetically slammed the door shut.

What was he up to?

I laid in my bed, peacefully dreaming about how I could be the first human magic user. I saw myself doing all sorts of activities that no longer required the use of my hands. I also dreamt that I was back in my own world, levitating a myriad of objects. I could already see the large crowds gathering to see my magic act. Though to their unknowing, I would be using real magic rather than some cheap special effects. No illusions, no assistants, no chick walking around in a sexy bikini, just me and my magical hands.

Children would wonder in awe as I'd summon doves out of thin air. But not just doves, stuff like bikes and motorcycles just before their very eyes. And I would be able to do it anywhere, not even needing any assistance. I could be the next Houdini, or Chris Angel. I could be pretty freaking awesome.

"WAKE UP, MAGGOT!"

I jump out of my bed, stumbling over the sheets that wrapped around my arms and legs. As I tried to separate myself from the impromptu straight jacket, I felt myself lose track of the bedding, causing me to fall to the floor below. Despite the fact that I was in a small amount of pain, I was more annoyed by the loud trumpet blaring in the room.

"GET YOUR ASS UP! I WANNA SEE YOU UP AND ACTIVE!"

And I want you to choke on a dick. Waking me up like this. The sun probably didn't even come up. Straining with my sheets, I finally managed to get my arms and legs free. After my head left the covers, I was blinded by the light of two guards standing at the door. Groggily, I wobbled back onto my feet. I also saw the two stallions clad in armor, as well as a familiar face.

"DO YOU NEED YOUR MOMMY TO PICK YOU UP AND FEED YOU YOUR MILK!?"

"What the FUCK is going on here!?" I asked through clenched teeth. My mind was a mess from being woken up so unexpectedly. I was already having a good dream, and now all of that went to hell as soon as I see Shining Armor's face.

"It's morning! You need to get the fuck up!"

I looked to the clock on the other side of the room. As soon as my vision corrected itself and saw the placement of the hands, I started to become furious. "It's four thirty."

Shooting open the curtains, Shining stood at the window, looking to the darkness outside. "It looks absolutely amazing outside."

"The sun isn't even up." I said as I slowly trudged back to bed.

Before I could even plop back onto the mattress, I felt Shining's magic redirect me towards the door. While I tried to go back, he and the two other guards stood in my way. "Well, you might wanna get used to it, cadet. Cause you're going to be seeing this a little more often."

"Cadet?" I yawned out, stretching out my limbs.

"You honestly didn't think that you'd stick around here for six months, did you? It's time to get your ass in gear!" Shining shouted as he pushed me into the hallway.

"This isn't some sort of military prank, is it?"

Suddenly, a scroll appeared directly in front of me. As it unraveled, it showed a series of signatures and initials. I scratched my head as I started to read the scroll. More notably, it was the scroll from the approval process. Shining flipped a few pages and high-lighted one area of the contract. "Well, according to the documents that you've signed yesterday, I would say no."

As I read along the fine print that he generously highlighted. I shook my head in realization that one of the passages I was reading had the terms and conditions of completing the approval process.

Any stallion who should apply for approval to consummate with that of royal blood shall undergo a trial of strength, endurance and fortitude. All who apply shall immediately be registered as a member of the Equestrian Earth-pony, Unicorn and Pegasus guard for the sole purpose of protecting the royal they seek to engage in mating practice with. If the stallion is already an enlisted, the accolades of his career shall be accounted for in the final vote. Failure to comply will result in immediate termination of the approval process and the stallion shall be barred from reapplication, regardless of choice.

So... I'm in the military now. "The... fuck?"

"Welcome to the EUP, maggot"

Awww... shit.

Hiatus time is over, so here's a chapter to celebrate. I took some time off to tend to some of the things I had going on IRL. I got caught up a bit, sorry about that. I also had to refresh myself on writing, being that it's been a hot minute.

So, I guess you guys can see less of Nondis being a whipping post for the future. As far as what will come of him being in the military, well you'll just have to wait and see. As for why Twilight seems to be a little more... promiscuous, you will have to find out after he's done with basic training.

The sun shines brightly over the not-so-small town of Ponyville. The birds are chirping as they fly from tree to tree, greeting one another while the ponies around the town performs the same task. Smiles light up the faces of those walking around the town. The only smile that seems to be absent from the portrait of an otherwise-happy town was that of my own. And for all good reason too.

"Ow."

That is the only word I have been chanting on my way back from the little regiment that Shining Armor put me through this morning. Every time I swing my arms. "Ow." Every step I take towards one of the guest rooms of the palace. "Ow." With every breath I take to get there. "Ow." I was worked like a dog, and for a reason that I didn't even know existed.

However, it was an issue that I was going to vocalize to the one individual that I knew couldn't overlook my problem. As I approached one of the guest rooms, I could see about five guards standing around, watching and waiting for something, or should I say somepony, to take her leave towards Canterlot in an hour or so. Storming to the door, I held onto a sack that held some rather weighty documents to get me through.

"Excuse me. I need to speak with Princess Celestia." I said as I approached the door.

"I'm sorry sir. She is not allowing any visitors to see her at this time." One of the guards, namely one with a gray coat and yellow eyes, stated as he stood in front of the door.

"Look, I know you like to follow orders and shit, but I am really not in the mood to be ignored. Please, I humbly beseech you... to let me through that door."

"And I humbly ask you to leave her to her business. She is not taking any visitors today."

I didn't have time for this. I pulled out the papers and shoved it in the guards face out of frustration. "I think this would warrant my need to see her."

"Sir, no matter what document you-IS THAT AN APPLICATION OF APPROVAL!?" He shouted, pulling in the paper, causing all of the other guards on watch to look at me with curiosity.

"No, I used it to wipe my ass. I call this magnificent invention toilet paper-OF COURSE IT IS!" I was in pain, so I didn't think to hold back on anything that was stopping me from seeing the princess. Seeing her before she left was my number one priority.

"Well, I'm afraid that even with such a document, I am at no liberty to allow anypony-"

The door opened behind him. Sounds of the other guards grunting in surprise reached my ears. I looked over to see what was the commotion was all about and their response was to turn to whatever wall the stood in front of. Meanwhile, I heard a familiar voice call out from the room. "What's going on out here?"

"Gah!" The grey guard saw Princess Celestia and blushed. He immediately looked to the ground. "Your highness! Forgive me for the obstructions. I tried to inform this fellow that-"

Celestia took notice of my standing here and waived to me. "Oh! Good morning, Nondis. Are you enjoying the weather this morning?"

I can tell that she was growing fond of the Ponyville morning she awoke to. But right now, I had much more pressing issues on my mind than the weather. "I've enjoyed a little more than what I was comfortable with. Could we speak for a moment?"

"Why certainly. I was surprised that I was not alerted on your visit earlier."

The guard that stood against me was still planting his eyes on whatever speck of dirt that was laying on the floor rather than looking to the princess of the sun. "Well, I- well you see... I didn't want to disrupt you at such an intimate time."

I really didn't see how this was an intimate time for her. But now that he mentioned it, she does look a bit... naked without her crown and regalia. I don't even think that I've seen her without her golden slippers on. It's a rather strange sight to see her in the nude. I guess I've grown so used to her being dressed up. Apparently, the guards were sharing the same thoughts I had but to a higher degree.

"Please come inside, Nondis." She said, walking back into the room and holding the door open for me.

I spoke as I painfully walked into her room. "So, I assume that you know why I'm dropping in on you."

"I can safely assume it has something to do with your approval process?" She guessed.

"About that, would you care to explain to me why I have to be an enlisted?"

"What?" She asked. Though I knew that she was playing dumb at this point.

Bringing up the papers again, I laid it out on the table and showed the part that Shining Armor was so kind to highlight for me. "You know, this passage here."

"Oh, that. I would've thought that Twilight would've informed you of it."

You know, I'm beginning to think that these princesses are telling me things halfway just to see my reaction for when the other half of the truth comes to light. Well I guess this princess must be having a ball then. "First, it was the marriage part that I was completely unaware of. I can deal with that, but this military gig... I'm not exactly in the best condition to be sent out to fight."

"Have you seen yourself move?" She questioned me, walking over towards a table on the other side of the room.

I don't need to see myself move to tell that I was in pain. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Pouring up a cup of tea for herself and me, she answered my question with a rather... unexpected answer. "I believe that your reflexes, despite needing a bit of improvement, are vastly superior to that of us equines. Just give it a shot."

And how does that work out? I'm half as strong, half as fast on foot and I can't fight worth a damn. "I still don't see the real reason of why I'm being thrown into the military. Could you elaborate on that?"

"Well..." She levitated one of the small cup towards me and took the other to her lips. "If you must know, then I shall say it upfront."

"...And that is?"

The small tea cup clattered on the miniature saucer it now rested on. Celestia levitated her own drink towards the nightstand. "I do not mean to offend, but since the incidents with both Caramel and Shining Armor, I'm questioning your abilities to defend yourself."

"There it is." I quietly mumbled out in shame.

"Now I can understand how Shining Armor, being trained in the art of combat, is able to overthrow you. That and his magical abilities. But Caramel was nothing more than a run-of-the-mill... um..."

"Asshole?"

"Aggressor, yes. I also came understand that you have not had much combat experience outside of your scuffle with him, is that correct?"

"More or less." Embarrassed, I buried myself in the tea she gave me. But before I could go find Narnia in that small cup, she took both the cup and it's saucer away from me.

"Then this would be a benefit to your health and well-being. Not only that you will be able to defend yourself, but also Twilight Sparkle if the occasion calls for it."

Does that mean I can hold my own with any other stallion, namely the ones who want to see me dead? If that's the case... "So... if I train, then I might be able to challenge even Shining Armor?"

A smirk crept to the sun princess' face as she pulled a chair up to the table she sat at. "Come. Sit."

I walked over to accommodate her. But as I sat down, I had noticed that she reached her hoof out to me, anchoring herself to the table. "Okay, what's with the hoof?"

"I am sure that you are familiar with the recreational function known as hoof-wrestling, are you not?"

Really, an arm-wrestling match? This was either going to end badly for her or end very badly for her. I know I can beat a princess who doesn't seem to do much but smile and wave. "I'm familiar with it's human variant."

"Despite our anatomical differences, we are still the same in this aspect."

Then again, I guess she does have a bit of strength since she has to get around using those, especially given her size. But still, she could be flying around for half the time rather than walking. "Don't you walk on those?"

"I will allow minimal resistance, please feel free to engage me when you are ready."

Sure, why not. I need a mood-booster for the morning. At the very least, I can say to myself that I can win in an arm-wrestling match. Reaching out with my right hand, I met with her hoof at the center of the table. "I guess I could amuse you-"

"With both, please."

My grip loosened at her suggestion. "Both what?"

"Both arms."

Was she really this fucking cocky? Wow! I don't know this princess in the slightest. I guess I will just play her little game. "...Okay. But don't say that this wasn't unfair."

She gave off a playful yawn as my left hand soon joined the right in it's effort to overthrow the princess. I looked to the sun princess, who gave me a shit-eating grin. I wanted to wipe that look off of her face so badly right now. Throwing all I could into my arms, I pushed against her with all of my might, expecting her to go down quickly... Only there was a slight problem...

"What the fuck?"

"I said that you may begin. Haven't you started already?"

That was just it! She didn't move a single atom while I was churning out as much energy as a nuclear reactor to overthrow her! Grunting and straining the muscles in my face, I pressed and pressed until my arms had started to hurt again. Backing off in pain, I rolled my neck and stretched my arms to loosen up.

"Just give me a moment."

"Take your time." She said with that same snarky grin.

By now, I was well over three-thousand percent over it. I wanted to take her down no matter the costs. I stood up from the table and gave myself some leverage as I locked back onto her hoof. She continued to smile while I felt the muscles in my face twist and contort into foul shapes. Gritting my teeth, I pushed against her with everything I had. Every last bit of my being went into this last effort. I wanted to make that smile go away. I refuse to lose to her.

But by the time I blinked, I went from standing on the table in front of her, to staring up at her from the floor.

I think I heard a duck quacking in my brain as I just realized that I had lost.

"I have a slight hunch that you were resisting."

"I said that I would offer minimal resistance. I never said that I was not going to resist at all." Translation: no shit, Sherlock.

"Point taken. But what was the purpose of this little... exhibition?" I think I'm laying in a crater right now.

"I simply desired to have a little fun with you. Regardless of if you were a trained stallion, how strong you were or how many hooves you used, I'd never lose a match. Not even once has my own sister buried me under the table."

Ha ha, very funny. Ha ha, it is to laugh. I hope she doesn't mind, but I think I'm just gonna sit here and wallow in the manner of my defeat. This crater feels kinda nice, how it curves and contours to every part of my body.

...Yeah, I'm gonna just... this.

"So what happened exactly that caused you to become so angry?" Celestia inquired above me.

Well, I'm more humbled than angry right now, so it's a little hard to be angry over something that happened just earlier when I lose to a snarky princess who does absolutely nothing but smile and wave. But thankfully, my beatdown didn't result in me having amnesia. "Well, Shining Armor thought it would be a good idea to wake me up at around four in the morning to run me around Sweet Apple Acres."

Giggling a bit, Celestia reached her hoof down to help me back up. "I see."

Taking her offer, I pulled against her and left the imprint I made into the tiled floor. "Isn't he a prince? Doesn't he have some other princely things to do beside ride my ass every three seconds over what a push-up looks like?"

"Meaning that he carries that title does not give him the authority of one. He is still a member of the royal guard. He just so happens to overlook an entire department of the EUP."

If he overlooks an entire department of the military, then does that mean... oh please let there be a god to deny that from happening. "So... is he going to be like my drill instructor or something?"

"No. I have you arranged with somepony else in mind."

Thank you, God! "So who would be in charge of me?"

You've... got to be shitting me. There is no way I'm gonna be the fodder to her. I can't believe this is happening. This is happening. Why is this even a thing?

"Come on, Nondis. You not supposed to touch the ground when you go down." Rainbow Dash chided me on my performance, being more of a hindrance than a help.

"That would be easy knowing that you weren't sitting on top of me." I grunted out through gritted teeth as I shook under her weight.

"Hey, meaning that I'm your friend outside of these little regiments, doesn't excuse you from the treatment I'm gonna be giving you when you start basic training."

At the very least, I knew the drill instructor. And since I was friends with her, she would see to it that I do everything in my power to succeed. She would be a bit of a hard-ass at the same time, but I knew she would also be giving me bits of encouragement. Though that still didn't excuse her from sitting on my back as I tried to do my push-ups.

"So is this a 'just-me' thing?"

"Nah! I'll be sitting on everypony else while I'm there. Just be happy that I'm not standing on on top of you."

That sounds even more painful. In fact, if you add in the total weight distribution her ass is giving me in comparison to all four of her hooves, it's like having a little over half her weight versus all of it on top of me. "I kinda see your point there."

"Now enough of the talk. I wanna see you sweat!"

After another strenuous push-up, I brought myself to bring up a topic of interest. "Permission to speak freely, ma'am?"

"Address me as sir."

"Permission to speak freely, sir!"

"Start talking."

First, let's start off on something that I really wanted to ask since my finding out that Rainbow Dash was slated to be my instructor. "So... when were you a member of the EUP?"

"A year or so before you even came here. I had completed my Wonderbolt Reserve training and my basics after."

"Why didn't you start basics before you went to camp?" I asked as I performed another push-up.

"I didn't know everything there was to be qualified for basic training. So I had to study the history of the EUP, as well as the history of the Wonderbolts, which I will have the honor of teaching you myself."

"Oh no you won't!" I heard a third voice call out from out of nowhere. In a flash of magenta, Twilight appeared before me and Rainbow Dash.

"Let me guess, you're going to show him some of your flashcards so he can learn the entire history of the EUP?" Rainbow mocked.

Walking over to me, giving me a bit of a nuzzle, she stood to challenge Rainbow. "Well, no offense but I believe that I would be a better fit to instruct him on the history of our military system."

"You're not even an enlisted, civy!"

"Civy?" I asked, being that it was the first time I heard something like that. Apparently, Twilight was just as stumped as I was.

"Short for civilian."

"Oh. But still, I don't know how you could instruct him when you had so much trouble learning these things yourself." Twilight challenged.

"That's all the more reason for me to teach him!" Rainbow rebutted as the others walked up to us.

"Here we go again." Fluttershy mumbled to herself.

Popping out of her mane, a miniature version of Discord cheered the two on. "Ohoo! I love a good argument between friends. So what would it be this time, ladies? Boxing ring or my personal favorite, gladiatorial colosseum?"

With a snap of his fingers, he became dressed in full-gladiatorial attire, complete with a net and a trident.

Fluttershy stepped in to stop Discord before he started to get carried away. "How about, we try to show him the different ways he could learn first, and then he can make a decision of whether or not he wants to try a specific method?"

Rarity squeed as she ran up to me with her suggestion. "Why I'm more than sure I could fix up a few humanized replicas of the old uniforms so that he could feel more acquainted with the history. Or maybe a tour through a historical museum-

"Book." I interrupted.

"Huh?" Rarity stalled as she looked at me quizzically.

"Just give me a book. Quiz me on it later." I clarified, not wanting to waste any time on touring some exhibit.

"That's the spirit!" Twilight cheered as she summoned a stack of flashcards by her side.

"That's so lame!" Rainbow jeered.

"Or maybe we could-"

"No rapping, Pinkie!" Twilight interrupted before Pinkie could get her thoughts out in the open.

Pinkie groaned in defeat. "I was going to say that we could probably do a fun musical number on how the EUP was made. You know, a more classical approach."

"Musical?" Well I'll be damned, a method of learning that tailors to me. Well holy high-horse, Batman! Sign me up!

"Oh no..." Twilight shook her head as Pinkie

Rarity shouted to the pink pony as she started to pull something out of her mane. "Pinkie, don't you even dare pull out that atrocious hat!"

Pulling out a phonograph, which I'm still questioning how the hell something so big could fit in that pink puffy mane, Pinkie placed it right next to me and shoved Rainbow Dash off of my back. "I think I know your kind of language, Non-Non."

"I'm not gonna like this, am I?" Twilight mumbled.

"I can't wait for her to start!" I exclaimed, hoping to hear how Pinkie will lay it out for me. I've always been a sucker for music.

"Well, then let's get it started!" (ctrl+click, read along with the music)

"Whatever!"

"Do you think that being inaccurate would help you on your test?"

"No, but making fun of history is how I learn it best."

"You didn't have to rhyme what I said."

"Whatever. Practical studying is dead." (HEY!) "But anyways, let's get back into the main subject at hand."

"Now as you know, that event in history is called the Celestial-Lunar rift. Where the two sisters, and their factions, started to go adrift. Now if you read in history, chapter twelve, section b, you'll find that later at that time, Celestia-"

"BOOOOR-ING! Pinkie, take me back, please."

(Jerk!)

The girls and Discord applauded my being able to quickly learn the basic details of how the EUP was formed. Twilight was the only exception as she facehoofed herself.

"Wow... is that how it really happened?" I asked.

"Well... the details of its formation isn't exactly a thing to boast about. Which is why some of the more common ranks are practically inept at anything dangerous." Discord stated, which caused both Twilight and Rainbow Dash to glare at him. It seemed with Rainbow being a current member and Twilight having an older brother in charge of one of it's divisions, they both became quite riled at his response. Before things got bad, Discord took notice of the two disapproving glances. "No offense?"

"So the Lunar Faction was trying to avoid a civil war, all while inexplicably causing one." I said as I slowly made my way back up on my push-ups.

"It never really got off the ground because most of them were very poorly trained. Not to mention that a solid majority of them had never picked up a spear to save their life." Rainbow added to my statement.

Oh... So they were a bunch of pansies. So does that make Shining Armor- "Anyways, can we please discuss this whole 'Civil War' thing that happened shortly after Moonbutt's banishment?"

"...Princess Luna?" Twilight corrected me begrudgingly.

"Moonbutt, yes. It's just a nickna-"

"Please don't call her that." She scolded.

"If you say so, Sparklebutt." I called back jokingly, laughing a bit as Twilight looked at me with a scowl on her face.

"Rainbow, sit!" Twilight called out, making her friend jump back on my back, sending me back down to the ground in discomfort.

"D'OOOH!" I cried out as I cringed. "Rainbow, what the hell?"

"Sorry, following orders."

Letting the pain subside, I allowed myself to rest a bit. "I get it. Now back to the question."

Twilight took in a deep breath and recomposed herself. "Again saying, there wasn't really a civil war, per se. But there was a conflict between two armed parties that started to escalate towards that route. The Lunar Faction argued that Princess Celestia was plotting some sort of regime, what with the banishment of Princess Luna. This was a secret organization that... well... fancied the princess in a... peculiar way."

"Are you serious?" I started to laugh again. It was completely absurd to think that fanboy armies had actually existed back in the day. "Luna had a fanboy army? I wonder how high the approval applications would've stacked up."

Twilight gave me that familiar scowl. "Rainbow-"

"Shutting up. Go on ahead." I quickly snapped myself out of my laughing fit and let Twilight continue the story.

"So Princess Celestia gathered some of her best-trained guards. By the time the Lunar Faction had stood outside the palace gates, they were already prepared for a full-scale conflict. In short, the faction saw that Celestia meant business and shortly reconsidered their place in society."

That still left me with one question. "I'm still stuck on how they managed to convert into the EUP."

"To say the least, it was said that the persuasion methods were... well... anticlimactic." Discord answered.

"How anticlimactic?"

"Hoof wrestling." He finished, causing me to choke on my own spit.

"You've got to be shitting me." No really, I can't even think of anything else to say in response to that. That's just embarrassing.

"Now what did Ah tell ya about that kind of language?" Applejack called at me, correcting me on my usage of profanity. I had almost forgotten that she didn't like foul words.

"Sorry." After apologizing to the farm mare, I turned my attention back to the purple mare in front of me. "But seriously, what?"

"She challenged the faction leaders to competitions all around the country. And within a month, the faction was quelled and became the new extension to the now-expanded military. The week after her victory, she dubbed the massive guard faction the Earth-pony, Unicorn and Pegasus Guard."

In all, I'm actually surprised. "Wow. I would've thought that it would've taken a dark turn."

"How dark?"

"Well, if I'm reminded of anything, it would be the French Revolution back on my world. It lasted from 1789 to 1799 Anno Domini."

Twilight quirked an eyebrow. "That still doesn't explain the reason for it being so dark."

I had to think of a way to put it without revealing how violent it was. Fluttershy was not exactly one of strong constitution and Rarity doesn't like anything too overly violent. The others were fine, but I wasn't going to compromise their comforts. "In a nutshell, the citizens got pissed off because they were starving and the rich were living it up. Insults from the wealthy spurred violence. The people mobilized, they ran to a local prison, stormed the place, stormed the palace, and captured the king."

"What happened then?"

"Well..." Louis Auguste de France, formerly known as King Louis XVI was then tried and found guilty of high treason and crimes against the state. Six days later, he was executed by means of decapitation via the guillotine. But that's a little too violent to go into detail. "The king was humbled, and he learned that if he had humbled himself sooner, he would've still been ahead in life."

"Oh, well that doesn't sound too bad." Twilight stated, unaware of what I was implying by my play on words. Honestly, I'm surprised she didn't catch that.

"That's it? Surely there was a bit of chaos to pursue the sudden power-shift." Discord asked.

Immediately, I rolled over to get Rainbow Dash off of me, got back to my feet and walked over to Discord, whispering to him in a low voice. "The period from the days onward to the year after was called the 'Reign of Terror', if that's what you wanna know."

"Don't see how it's so terrible if people were getting reformed." He was still going off of my previous statement. Being that he was a practitioner of chaos and disorder, I could disclose the more grisly details to him.

"Fourteen thousand died."

Instantly, his eyes grew and his jaw dropped. "Oh... How did that happen?"

"Remember how I said that the king had never gotten ahead in life? In case you didn't know, that was a play on words..."

After a few seconds of letting him dissect the meaning of my statement, it finally dawned on him what had actually happened to the ill-fated king. "Oh goodness..."

"Yeah, that happened. Fourteen thousand times over."

Discord inadvertently placed a claw on his lengthy neck, cringing all the while. "Couldn't they have come up with a less... pugnacious solution over a nice cup of tea?"

"That's what the nobles tried when their armies fled." I whispered back.

"And how did that work out?"

"They got a nice tour of the city from the top of a pike."

Discord almost seemed to lose some of his color as the imagery started to manifest itself in his mind. "I suppose that is a little... dark."

"What are you two talking about?" Fluttershy asked, snapping us both back into the present.

"Nothing you need to worry about." I answered quickly as the draconequus walked back to his beloved caretaker.

I've never really thought about how bad Celestia's situation could've been at that time. Which is why I'm questioning the legitimacy of Equestria's history books.

"Discord, are you feeling okay?" The yellow timid pegasus asks quietly.

I think I told him a bit too much. He suddenly has this thousand-yard stare as he answers Fluttershy. "Just fine, my dear."

Almost on cue, a rumbling noise sound pierces the silence. I couldn't help but to quickly walk towards the nearest eatery. My time with Shining Armor this morning had left me unfed, but I don't think anypony else knew that. "I'm dog-tired... and hungry. Time for lunch!"

Pinkie started to prance over to Sugarcube Corner, but Rainbow Dash held her tail down to prevent her from wandering off, more than likely to get anything for me to snack on. "You can go to lunch after you finish your daily dose of push-up. Now get back on the ground, and start pushing." The rainbow-maned pegasus said as she held Pinkie in place.

"Just for five minutes?" I asked, hoping to change her mind.

"Nope."

"Can I do my push-ups after I eat something. All I need is an apple." I asked, hoping that Applejack would get a clue. Sadly, she was not taking any sides to this argument, much less mine.

"No."

"Can't I just-"

"DOWN, PRIVATE!" Rainbow shouts at the top of her lungs.

"Yes, sir!"

Dropping back to the ground, I strove to finish my push-ups so that I could reward myself with a large meal. The first few were easy enough to do, but then Rainbow took it a step further and sat back on me, making my already-difficult task even more challenging.

"These next ten weeks are gonna be so, so sweet."

These next ten weeks are going to be hell

After my set of push-ups, the girls treated me to a large dinner. After the meal, Twilight and I had came back to the palace for an intense cram session. In three hours, I was taught, quizzed and tested on every aspect of the formation of the EUP and it's auxiliaries. And if there was one thing that Twilight was not letting me get by on in our study session, it was the details to each event that went down.

As for the arm-wrestling, Celestia has gone undefeated for well over a thousand years. I guess that's why she was wearing that smug grin when I stood up to take her down. That also explains how she could man-handle me in that match. Not only was it a display of her power, it was also one that didn't resort to violence, despite the craters she made from every opponent. It was also a much quicker ordeal than talking it up with politics. Though it does make me question her methods of foreign policy.

After that history session, Twilight had started to move all of the books back to their respective positions on shelves. Though what would take a human several minutes to do, she finished it in mere seconds. It made me think more about how smart she really was and just how powerful her magic was to lift so many items at once.

I'll admit, I was starting to become a little jealous. I wanted to do cool stuff like that too, but I knew that with me being a human, it was very unlikely to happen. However, it didn't exactly stop me from imagining myself lifting my hand at an object and pretending I'm Magneto from the X-Men comics. Even Twilight had started to take notice.

When we had gotten back to my room, she summoned her friendship journal, placing it on the desk for her to write in. When she glanced at me, I was mocking her ability to levitate.

"What is up with your fascination of magic lately?"

"Well, I'm living here now. Doesn't that mean that I would soon be a magic user? I mean I get that I won't be using unicorn-tier magic but I think if I stay a little longer, I might just get some."

"Sweetie, not to be a downer, but you've been here for well over seven months. Don't you think that if you had any chance of obtaining magic, you would've by now?"

"Well, I might need to stay a little longer. My body does need to adapt."

Twilight chortled at my response. "Why do you want magic so bad?"

"Because it's awesome." I responded, landing myself in the bed.

Twilight opened her journal and commenced to writing her entry. As the pen scribbled on the paper, she turned back to me. "It can be a bit of a curse as well."

"How so?"

With one final scrape of the quill, Twilight finished her entry and walked over to me. "Equestria is, as you already know, a land that's filled with magic. And us ponies can't control our world without it. Our magic is gifted from birth and given away at death."

"I don't mean to wander into such dark places, but where does your magic go when you die?"

She sat beside me, smiling as she levitated my hand to her hoof. "Only fate knows the answer."

I don't know why this conversation scared me so much. I guess it was because of the implications of Twilight dying. I really wasn't prepared for something like that. Hell, I wasn't even prepared to see Pinkie being abused but she was. And just like that, it was as certain as my need for another breath. "So could you... be reincarnated by magic?"

"It's possible, but the individual will retain their personality. The only thing that you would be able to replicate is the magic the pony used before."

It does begs the question of her being a reincarnation of some powerful figure in history. I guess it would make sense if I had to explain her magical prowess. "So... would that make you the reincarnation of Starswirl the Bearded?"

She laughed at my question, leaning against me. "What do you know about Starswirl the Bearded?"

"Nothing, I just know he's the main contributor to all of the current knowledge of magic. But then again, you kept talking about him when I first got here."

She sighed deeply as her hoof brushed against my hand. "That was when we were talking about making a portal for you."

"So... does alchemy work in this world?" Dammit, did I really ask that?

"Of course. It's just basic scientific principles combined with magic. It's how we unicorns can manage to change an object's composition, that is if you were trained enough."

So it does? Okay, then let me go a little further. "So... there is a such thing as the Laws of Equivalent Exchange?"

"Laws of what now?"

Perhaps I needed to explain myself further. "Human or ponykind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost."

"Wow... That's amazing! Where did you come up with something so thought-provoking!?"

FullMetal Alchemist. "Well actually, I-"

"You have to write a paper on that! And I will be the first one to read it, proofread it and challenge it!"

I see I wasn't getting through on that subject. Okay, time to get to the brunt of things. "Can you draw circles on the ground and slam your hooves into it?"

Twilight raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Well... Yeah, but nothing would happen."

Fuck! So close... "Well I guess that kills plan-b." I mumbled out loud.

"What's plan-b?"

I started to think of a way to change the subject. Turning around and grabbing her waist, I smiled deviously as my fingers lightly pattered and brushed against her. "It's where I tickle you!"

"Stop! Gahaaahahaha! Quit it!"

I continued to make her laugh as she squirmed in place. "Make me."

Her magic surrounded my body and threw me against the sheets of the bed. She pursued me with hooves outstretched. As we both landed, she craned herself down to me, letting her lips come into contact with mine. Our kiss was slow yet simplistic, a peck on the lips that seemed to drag on for some time. After a few seconds, we broke contact to smile at each other. Instead of backing off, she pressed onward, climbing on top of me as she let one of her hooves wander down my chest. She stuck her tongue out at me, making fun of my being pinned down, to which my response was me flicking my tongue at hers. Eventually, we started to combat one another, our tongues as our weapons. Her lips soon joined the fray, clashing with mine. Quick breaths and the sounds of our lips separating from time to time filled the room.

We both halted our little war with each other, taking a frustrated exhale. Twilight climbed down from the bed and walked over to the center of the room.

"Come in." She called out.

The door opened, revealing a white pegasus guard with blue eyes. If it wasn't for the wings and the golden armor, then I would've had him confused with Twilight's older brother. "Princess, I was instructed to escort you to your chambers."

"No need. I already have one right here." She pointed to me as I walked beside her.

"But your brother has made it of utmost importance that you were to be escorted by a guard."

We both looked at each other dumbfoundedly before we started to giggle. "I'm an enlisted. Does that count?" I responded.

"But your brother-"

"Thank you for your concern. But I'm not ready to leave just yet." Twilight said as she started to tug on me, walking towards the bed again.

"Let me try." A second voice called out from behind the guard. Princess Cadance revealed herself to both me and Twilight.

"Cadance?"

"What's up, princess?"

The pink princess gave the guard a nod, dismissing him into the hall. "Unfortunately, your wake-up time is rather early. I would prefer that you bid your adieus now so that you can get some sleep, Nondis."

At that moment, reality had set back in. I was going to leave Ponyville first thing in the morning to travel to the camp. That also meant that this was my last night with Twilight before I headed out. I just wish we had more time to be with each other. At least I could've spent more recreational time with Twilight. "So I head out tomorrow, huh?"

"The carriage will be here long before the dawn. By then, you will be dropped off at the train station and sent off to join with the other recruits."

"Wow, that's a bit sudden, isn't it?" Twilight inquired.

"Shining, being a bit of a brute, decided to get him on the first train smoking. And that train is tomorrow morning. I tried to argue with next week, maybe even a few days on down, but he was so adamant on having him shipped out so soon."

Twilight scoffed at Cadance's confession. "What is up with him?"

"He's your brother. I'll have to deal with it." I said once more, trying to comfort her.

"Just let me know when he steps out of line. I'll deal with him as soon as possible." Cadance added, wanting to make sure that I was being treated fairly.

I nodded in appreciation. "Thanks."

Twilight magically dragged me back down to meet with her. Cadance blushed as she watched Twilight give me a quick peck on the lips. "Now, remember to write me a letter every week. Be sure that it comes by on every Tuesday because I might not have the time to read it on any other day."

"I'll try my best."

"Okay. Remember to stay quiet, remain calm, follow orders, look directly ahead and stay out of trouble."

"Got it."

"Okay. Now come back in one piece. I can't tear you apart if you're already in pieces."

Cadance started to voice her discomfort. "Twilight, I think he needs his rest now."

"Make me proud. That's your first order."

"Yes, your highness."

As Twilight kissed me one final time, Cadance started to pull her away. "Twilight, let's go!"

In quick succession, our kiss broke and the purple mare was dragged along by her older sister. "Bye." She whispered as she walked out the door along side Cadance. As the door closed, I was left standing in the center of the room, thinking about the hell I was going to endure when I had got off of the train in the morning.

And I started to think on who I was going to go through that hell for.

I was once again awoken by the sounds of a trumpet blaring in my ear and a guard shouting at me. Only this go round, I was more or less prepared for it. After that, I quickly took my shower, threw on my clothes and ran for the station. As the sun still hid below the horizon, I climbed aboard the train that would take me to my new home for the upcoming months.

As the train left the station, I could see the other young stallions and colts who were just as scared as I was. We were all told to remain silent for the duration of the ride. Many of those who started to drift asleep, myself included, found themselves being woken up by a guard screaming in our faces. And usually, when I would ride the train, I'd look out the window to appreciate the beauty. But even that was taken away. The windows were painted black to prevent us from looking out to see where we were going. Everything was made to put us on the edge of our seats. It goes without saying that the long, thirteen-hour train ride wasn't exactly a pleasure cruise.

Finally, we reached our destination. Most of us were ready to get off of that train. Others, were wanting to stay on in hopes of not having to face whatever drill instructor was going to scream and spit in their face. I already knew this wasn't going to be easy, but they could've at least made the train ride here a little more accommodating.

"ALRIGHT YOU PISSANTS! BEFORE YOU GET OFF THIS TRAIN, LET'S LAY DOWN SOME GROUND RULES! LINE YOUR ASSES UP! SHUT YOUR MOUTHS BEFORE WE SHOVE OUR HOOVES IN THEM! STAND AT ATTENTION AND DON'T YOU DARE EYEBALL ANY ONE OF YOUR INSTRUCTORS! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?"

"SIR, YES SIR!"

"NOW WHEN YOU ARE CALLED, YOU HEAD TO YOUR ASSIGNED INSTRUCTORS! IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ANY OF WHAT IS GOING ON, THEN WALK YOUR ASS BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?"

"SIR, YES SIR!"

I didn't know if I would want to walk from wherever we were now back to Ponyville. That seemed like a week's worth of travel in contrast to a thirteen-hour train ride. As soon as the train came to a screeching halt, I could see the instructor that previously yelled at me stand up at the front of the train cart.

"OFF THE TRAIN! OFF THE TRAIN! HUSTLE YOUR ASS! I WANNA SEE YOU RUN LIKE YOU'RE RUNNING DOWN FOR MOMMA'S HOT BUTTER BISCUTS!

I grabbed my belongings and ran in line after the few stallions in front of me. As we all started to line up, I could see well over the entire regiment. I know that in military, there is usually a sense of uniformity. I'm literally sticking out like a sore thumb. Even the few griffins I saw on the way in looked at me with confusion.

"YOU'RE AN UGLY SON OF A BITCH, YOU KNOW THAT!?"

One of the instructors walked up to me and screamed that to my face. I didn't want to seem like I was going to answer without being called on, so I just simply remained silent. "..."

"PRIVATE, I ASKED YOU A QUESTION, NOW ANSWER IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU DROP HERE AND NOW."

Nervously, I responded to him. "Sir, yes s-"

"DO YOU FUCKING HAVE A MOUSE IN THAT SHITTY LOG YOU CALL A NECK!? I CAN'T HEAR A DAMN THING!

"SIR, YES SIR!" I screamed to the top of my lungs.

"YOU LOOK LIKE A SACK OF SHIT! YOU LOOK LIKE A TALL, HAIRLESS, EVISCERATED GORILLA! I BET YOUR MOTHER WAS CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE AFTER SHE GAVE BIRTH TO YOU! ANSWER ME, PRIVATE! DOES IT HURT TO LIVE!?"

"SIR, NO SIR!"

"YOU LOOK LIKE YOU NEED A SPEAR CAREFULLY LODGED INTO YOUR BRAIN! I'D PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR MISERY IF IT WASN'T FOR THE FACT THAT YOU'RE ENLISTING! HELL, I MIGHT JUST DO THAT LATER TODAY!"

*snicker*

"DID I HEAR SOMEPONY LAUGH!? DID I HEAR ANYONE LAUGH IN MY FORMATION!?"

Whoever was the one that laughed at my expense, I had to thank them. The instructor's breath was unbelievably unbearable and he kept spitting in my face. If I wasn't following orders, I would wipe my face clean of the spit I was currently wearing.

"CHARLIE COMPANY, LINE UP AT THE DOOR!" Another guard shouted from the gates. As we stood in line, a guard walked up to me and pulled me out of line.

"Hold it a sec, greeny. Your name isn't on the roll for Charlie Company. You're in Delta."

I felt myself become uneasy over the suggestion that I was in another company. But then again, I was told that I was being assigned to Rainbow's company. So it's safe to say that I was going to easily be taken care of. I can already hear her screaming at my company.

"ARE YOU SERIOUSLY LOOKING AT ME!? I WILL FUCKING SHOVE MY HOOF SO FAR IN YOUR FACE THAT YOU WILL BE SEEING YOUR OWN REAR END! NOW STOP EYEBALLING ME, PRIVATE!"

Gotta admit, Rainbow Dash sounded really convincing for her role. Wait a minute? RAINBOW DASH?

"CHARLIE COMPANY! MOVE OUT!" Her voice called out once more. I snuck a look over to what was going on through the gates and saw Rainbow Dash marching off in front of a platoon of new recruits.

"DELTA COMPANY, LINE UP AT THE DOOR!" I heard one of the instructors yell out.

I was already not liking where this was going. This was already shaping up to be hell on earth. I got in line and waited for the line to move. Slowly but surely, we were brought into the camp. We stood at attention, waiting for our company commander to address us.

"WELL LOOKIT HERE! YOU FUCKERS GET THE HONOR OF KISSING MY WHITE, ROYAL ASS FOR THE NEXT TEN WEEKS!"

Oh. Please. God no.

"MY NAME IS SHINING ARMOR! I WILL BE YOUR INSTRUCTOR FOR THE TIME BEING! IF YOU INSIST ON BLOWING ME FOR THE NEXT TWO-AND-A-HALF MONTHS, THEN I SUGGEST YOU MASTER YOUR B-TO-BLOW SKILLS! OTHERWISE, I WILL BE WHIPPING YOU PUSSY-HOOF FUCKERS INTO SHAPE! THERE IS NO CRYING OUT FOR MOMMA IN MY COMPANY! IF YOU WANT YOUR MOMMA, THEN GUESS WHAT, I'M YOUR MOMMA! AND WHATEVER I SAY, GOES! SO THAT MEANS IF I TELL YOU TO GO JUMP OFF A TWELVE-STORY BUILDING, THEN YOUR RESPONSE SHOULD BE 'HOW HIGH DO I HAVE TO BOUNCE!' DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?"

"SIR, YE-"

"OH HOLD ON FOR A FUCKING MINUTE! IS THAT... IS THAT YOU, NONDIS?"

Just stay at attention. Just stay at attention. For the love of all that is holy just stay at attention. "..."

"ANSWER MY QUESTION, COCK-MUNCHER!"

I quietly stammered my response. "Y-y-yes sir..."

"WELL HELL, MY BIRTHDAY CAME TWICE THIS YEAR!" He shouted loudly in my ear to the entire company. He used his magic to yank me down towards him, whispering in my ear. "I am going to make sure that you fail. And if you die before you even fail... I will shit in your casket and you will wear it as a medal-of-honor."

He shoved me back into place before calling out to the company. "DELTA COMPANY! LET'S MOVE!"

As quickly as we were introduced, we ran right into business. Unfortunately for me, that running would require me to keep up with the group. And equines are twice as fast as humans in running. If there was a god, then he must enjoy my suffering.

In the words of Dante's Divine Comedy... Through me you pass into the city of woe. Through me you pass into eternal pain. Through me among the people lost for aye..

In short, all hope abandon ye who enter here.

Back when I was in high school, my parents would give me two choices to make. The first one was that I had to go to college and make good grades. And if my grades had started to drop, then I had to follow through with a second option they had on the table, military. I know that my grandfather was a vet and my father was pushing one of us to be the soldier in the family who'd have stories to tell. Unfortunately, my grandfather had served in Nam back in '73. He still has nightmares where he can hear the screams of his fellow infantrymen being mowed down by machine gun fire. So you can tell that I really didn't want to be signed up to fight for greedy politicians that send us out to 'die for our country and fight for the freedoms of our families and loved-ones back at home.'

Think about it, none of those greedy fuckers wouldn't dare send their kids to march in the mud alongside the lower-class citizens. But hey, I'm not in the military... Correction, I'm not in their military. I'm not going out to fight because of a congress that seeks to line their pockets with money and oil.

Instead, I'm signing up for two reasons. One, I was forced into it due to a hidden passage of my approval process, meaning that I was to be an enlisted prior to our marriage. Two... well the second motive was one that grew from a statement by Captain-slash-Prince Cockblock himself.

He said that he would make sure that I'd fail.

I've never wanted to be in the military. Personally, I was just fine living the care-free (as if) life of a civilian. But now, since his little musings have landed in my ear, I've felt a flame that burned deep throughout my body. I felt a scalding passion engulf my arms and legs as I thought more about how he wanted me to fail. And I thought about just how much I wanted to prove him wrong.

...Or maybe that's just the aches in my body from the ten-mile run I had just finished.

Week 1...

I hate my life. I just wanted to be in a relationship with Twilight, not be the punching bag of my instructor. And the worst part of it all is that he's Twi's older brother. And he's Captain of the Royal Guard... And he prince of the Crystal Empire. He's all of the above.

I thought that my instructor was supposed to be Rainbow Dash. I wanted to at least have that comfort going in. So being that I felt that something was amiss, I decided to take it up with the office of admissions. I wanted to see if my name was for Charlie company rather than Delta. After several minutes of looking through files, they confirmed that I was enrolled in Delta. So then I tried to verify that I had another instructor. Of course, they tell me that I'm not getting any special treatment. I tried to tell them that Princess Celestia requested that I'd be placed in Charlie company. The colt behind the desk just stared at me for a few seconds before laughing his lungs out. After several more minutes of waiting around for him to stop laughing, he looked through the files on record. There were no files of the sort.

It was eleven at night. I've been running around grabbing my shit for training for at least sixteen hours straight. At this point, I've grown tired as hell of this ring-around-the-bullshit theme going on and retired to my barracks for some much needed rest... As if I was going to have any.

At around four in the morning, they woke us up the loudest and worst way possible. I was treated to a cold bucket of water for an alarm. You can already guess who was the one to wake me up. After I got out of my bed, I had to make it according to their specific directions, which all of us were failed to be notified of prior to this situation.

So after a brief demonstration by one of the higher-up's, Shining then instructed all of the other instructors below him to tear apart all of the beds and have us remake them according to what was shown to us. This continued for about an hour, as many of us kept screwing up. When one bed is imperfect, then they'd tear apart the entire room and have us do it again.

I did not sign up for this shit. Where is breakfast?

When I said that I wanted breakfast, I did not intend for mud to be my first course. They ran us shitless, made us jump until we were ready to drop. And when we dropped, they made us do push-ups. And when we had to do push-up's, it was at their pace. I was at least hoping that they'd be too fast for me to keep up, but instead they made us wait for each command. By the time my company was already done with the first three, we were quietly begging the instructors to pick it up. Their response, drag things even slower.

I swear I've seen dead snails move faster than this.

When we had finally finished our first set, they made us jog in place. You'd think that it wouldn't be that bad, but we had to do a shuffle-step rather than simply jog. And it was for about sixty seconds straight. Then they let us rest for ten before giving us another sixty to run.

When we had finished, all of us were extremely famished. Thankfully, our instructors knew that we had to keep our energy up in order for them to keep beating us to the ground. So we lined up in formation and followed Shining Armor as he casually led us though ten acres of land to the mess hall.

And by 'casually led to', I mean ran around the entire ten acres twice before finally setting foot into the mess hall.

I didn't think that the military was so strict. I guess I've should've done a lot more research on what goes on here rather than focusing on just the formation of the EUP. My legs were sore as Cleveland fans when Lebron left for Miami. My entire body is throbbing and all I can think about is how to fucking stand in line the right way. There's no such thing as talking in line during the first week, or 'zero week' as they call it. If I had to stand in line for two minutes to wait for one of the instructors to notify me that I could move.

When I finally took a step forward into the dining area, I was greeted by a sergeant screaming in my face.

"WHY ARE YOU FUCKING SLOUCHING!? STAND UP STRAIGHT!"

I've learned that in this system, no derogatory word or statement is forbidden to an instructor. As a recruit, you can only pay attention to what's directly in front of you. If not, well...

"ARE YOU EYEBALLING ME!? ADJUST YOURSELF, YOU SON OF A BITCH... YOU'RE STILL LOOKING THIS WA- GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY MESS HALL! YOU WILL NOT BE EATING UNTIL YOU LEARN TO LISTEN TO MY DIRECTIONS! MOVE IT! SPEED IT UP!"

They were yelling at someone directly behind me.

"TRAYS UP, MOVE FASTER!"

Now they were addressing me. I picked up the tray full of greenery and made my way to the special dining area, designated to creatures such as griffons, who had a diet that consisted of both vegetable and meat dishes.

"YOU THERE!"

The female staffer behind the meat counter screamed at me.

"I DON'T RECALL YOU BEING A GRIFFON! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THIS AREA!? SPEAK!"

"I need protein-"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU! ARE YOU SPEAKING TO ME OR ARE YOU SPEAKING TO THE DUST COMING OUT OF YOUR NOSE, PRIVATE!?"

"HUMAN'S CANNOT EXORCISE WITHOUT PROPER PROTEIN INTAKE, MA'AM!"

The mare from behind the counter instructed one of the other sergeants to inspect me. After they looked at me for a quick second, one of them instructed me to open my mouth. As I followed their instruction, they finally saw the four canine teeth that lined up on each side of my tongue. As one of the sergeants slammed my jaw back shut, I was guided forward.

"PICK UP A PLATE AND MOVE!"

I finally made it out of the line and walked towards the tables, where a familiar voice stopped me short of sitting down.

"PLACE YOUR BAGS UNDER THE CHAIR, HEELS TOGETHER AND EAT!"

I did as I was instructed. I felt myself clinch at the sound of a pony getting yelled at for not having their bags under their chair correctly. They were instructed to raise from their chair, put back on their bags and start all over.

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT PRIVATE, EAT YOUR FOOD OR GET OUT OF THE AREA!"

I wasn't going to waste any time. I already had less than ten minutes to eat, followed by another two minutes to clear my area and leave back to the waiting area. Quickly, I dug my fork into my meal and started chomping away at my first taste of pork in months. I'd like to say that I enjoyed the experience, but the circumstances disallowed me that privilege. Meanwhile the sergeant next to me leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"I was switched."

I stopped chewing whatever I was eating and tried my best to not look at the cyan pegasus standing next to me.

"DID I SAY STOP CHEWING!? YOU CHEW THAT FOOD RIGHT NOW! CHEW IT! AND DON'T YOU STOP UNTIL I SAY SO!"

I snapped back into shape and heeded her orders. While the others were still preoccupied with their own situation, Rainbow felt free to inform me of her sudden change of the roster.

"Originally, I was assigned to be the instructor for Delta company. But the day of my coming here, I was told that I was reassigned to Charlie Company. So you're in the right company, just not with the right instructor. Hang on a sec."

She removed herself from behind my ear to scream at another three recruit across the room.

"PICK! UP! YOUR! TRAYS! MOVE FASTER BEFORE I MAKE YOU RUN THIS ENTIRE BUILDING!"

Turning her attention back to me, she continued to whisper in my ear.

"I can say that the commander was more than willing to make his changes so that he could take care of you himself. Just try to hang in there. I can't really be nice to you. Protocols and what-not. Keep your head up no matter what."

I was contempt of the explanation, though thoroughly disturbed at the lengths that Shining went to make sure that my life was a living hell during my stay here. But that was the least of my worries right now. I started to feel my jaw ache from all of the excessive chewing for this one piece of sausage. At the moment, I felt the piece of meat become the consistency of baby food. I swallowed and reached in to continue my meal. Sergeant Rainbow Dash finally left my ear to yell at me some more.

"DO NOT RUSH CHEWING YOUR FOOD! DRINK YOUR WATER! WIPE YOUR MOUTH! I DID NOT COME HERE TO BABYSIT YOU! THAT IS YOUR MOTHER'S JOB!"

Once again, I think Rainbow is handling her new position quite well. I can only hope that I'd be able to hold out like she's doing now.

Week 3...

Okay, this was a hard ass three weeks. Not only was Shining Asshole being his usual self towards the others, he saw fit to give me some rather... special treatment. While I'm in ranks, standing at attention, he feels the need to pace back and forth in front of me. It even got so bad that he requests that I'd be placed in the very front of the platoon. His reason, I was a distraction to the other soldiers.

Bullshit aside, I've decided to take matters into my own hands. In my time off, I write letters to Twilight and Cadance telling them all about my current progress as well as how I'm treated. Cadance also informed me to keep her updated on how I was being treated. And being that I was being seen as some sort of villain. I know it doesn't make sense, but when you keep in consideration that Shining makes the entire company do push-ups for whenever I do something wrong, the others start to see you as a nuisance.

But to be fair, he did that with anyone. It just so happens that he singles me out the most.

What I would give to be in Charlie Company right now.

We came back from the late-evening drills to find that my bunk had been turned over. Not only was my mattress flipped but all of my clothes were strewn across the barracks. Even the contents of my bags were thrown across the room. I went to look for my bag, only to find it stuffed in the toilet. Thankfully, no one had used it prior or post by bag being stuffed inside. On the back of the bag, I had gotten a sticky note with only one word written on it.

Quit.

Something tells me that a certain someone really doesn't like me being here. Not that I already knew who it was.

"WHAT IN CELESTIA'S GOOD NAME IS THIS!?" I heard a voice erupt from the direction of the sleeping quarters.

I ran back out to see a disgruntled Shining Armor pacing back and forth as he looked at the mess all over the room. I already felt myself becoming angry as the seconds ticked away.

"WHO'S BUNK IS THIS!?" The entire company remained silent as he walked around the room. "TELL ME WHO'S BUNK THIS IS OR I SWEAR, I WILL MAKE THIS ENTIRE ROOM DROP FOR FIFTY!"

Fearing that my silence would punish the whole company, I spoke out. "Sir, it was mine."

Shining slowly turned towards me and marched in my direction. I could already see many of the other ponies in the room hold their hooves to their muzzles as a means of hiding their childish ooh's. As he stepped in front of me, he levitated some of the shirts, previously thrown about, into my face.

"SO I GIVE YOU A BED TO SLEEP IN AND CLOTHES TO WEAR, AND YOU REPAY ME BY DOING THIS!?"

Clenching my jaw, I tried my best not to look him in the eye, or giving my best left hook to his jaw. And given that I've been doing a lot of exercise for the past three weeks, I can knock a tooth or two loose. "No sir."

He picked up the clothes he threw at me and levitated them in front of my face. "Then what the fuck is this, private?" He asked with a scowl.

"Size three-x griffon training shirts, military standard issue, sir."

"So you don't appreciate what I give you, private?"

I didn't want to say no. The consequence of that choice would make things a lot harder for me. "...Yes sir."

"This is the way you show your appreciation, huh? Seems a little disrespectful to me." He said as he slammed the shirts back to the ground. "COMPANY, ATTENTION!"

Everyone in the barracks tensed up, jumping into positions as Shining paced back and forth in front of me. "IT SEEMS THAT PRIVATE NONDIS DOESN'T APPRECIATE WHAT I HAVE TO GIVE HIM! SO, HOW ABOUT WE ALL TAKE A QUICK WALK AROUND THE CAMPUS!?"

A series of tired groans and frustrated smacks sound throughout the room.

"NO!? NOPONY WANT'S TO GO FOR A WALK!? OKAY, WE'LL RUN DOUBLES IN THE MORNING! FALL OUT!"

I become a little relieved that he didn't take out his ambitions on the others tonight, especially after they've suffered because of me all day. I started to walk towards my bed when suddenly...

"PRIVATE NONDIS! YOU DON'T THINK THAT YOU'D BE GOING TO BED THIS EARLY, DID YOU!?"

I already didn't like the sound of that statement.

I hate him so much.

I never thought that my hate for one could be so strong that I start to have revenge fantasies that involve me killing him in the most brutal ways possible. Instead, here I was, struggling to keep my head above water... if only I wasn't being continuously showered with it. One of the late-night watchers, a pegasi, brought in a rain cloud and kicked it, sending torrents of water on top of my head. Meanwhile, Shining Armor had me running in place while he chanted.

"MOMMA, MOMMA, CAN'T YOU SEE!"

"Momma, momma, can't you see!" I chanted weakly in verbatim.

"WHAT THESE GUARDS HAD DONE TO ME!"

"What these guards had done to me!"

"TOOK AWAY MY FAVORITE THINGS!"

"Took away my favorite things!"

"NOW I'M WEARING GUARDIAN GREENS!"

"Now I'm wearing guardian greens!"

"TOOK AWAY MY FAVORITE SHOES!"

"Took away my favorite shoes!"

"NOW I'M WEARING GUARDIAN BOOTS!"

"Now I'm wearing guardian boots!"

"YOU HAD ENOUGH PRIVATE!?" Shining screamed in my ear.

The only response I could give him was my constant huffing and puffing, followed by the eventual coughing from me accidentally breathing in some water.

"You know..." He finally lowered his voice to non-deafening levels. "You don't really have to do all of this. All you gotta do is say that you give up and we can go back right now. In the morning, you can sign your resignation papers and we can be on our way. Go on ahead, I'll even let you sleep late, feed you breakfast, offer you a drink and within the hour, you'd be on the train to Ponyville. I mean, it sounds better than three weeks of this, right?"

As much as my body was more than willing to take up his offer, my mind and my heart refused to let me move from the patch of mud I was currently marching in.

"Oh, still haven't made up your mind, huh? Drop!"

I fell to push-up position. As I stood there, I felt his hoof push into my back, causing me to become ever closer to the ground. Eventually, he stopped, but not before my face was but mere inches from planting itself into the mud.

"You don't have to keep doing this, Nondis. Just call it quits. C'mon. You know you want to. It's the third week, shit's not gonna get any easier."

My arms felt like wet pasta, my legs had the consistency of rubber bands. My body ached from all the activities from earlier today. I couldn't go on like this. I didn't want to go on like this. I never felt so much pain at once. I was tired beyond belief and here I was, late at night, doing push-ups in the mud. My body was telling me that it was far too much for me to go through in one given setting.

Finally, my body broke down. My limbs buckled and I fell limp into the mud. I took quick, labored breaths as Shining Armor stood over me.

"So I take it that you finally give up. Smart choice."

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to just call it quits. I really did. I wanted to admit to him that I didn't want to go through this anymore. I mean why should I suffer like this? Because of some stupid law? I don't have to do this anymore. I could just go back to bed, wake up in the morning, eat my breakfast, pack my shit and leave. The only honor I'd leave with is the honor of being in pain. I'd go back to Ponyville, my friends welcoming me back with smiles. I'd tell them that I tried my best, they give me a sympathetic pat on the back and I'd live my life...

I'd live my life without Twilight.

Without Twilight.

Twilight would be sad.

She'd never forgive me.

She cheered me on.

If she was here, she'd cheer me on right now.

That's right. I'd be hearing her scream at me.

"Get up." She'd say. "Don't you quit on me. Don't you quit on us. You can do this. Keep fighting. You're almost there."

Fuck... I'm really pathetic.

I had actually started to tell myself that this asshole would win. If I quit, then Shining Armor wins. Oh hell no! He ain't winning shit! I've been through too much as it is for him to come out with the win. I've gone too far now. I'm already three weeks in. If I can handle three weeks of him, then I can handle another three. If I can do that, then I can pull out another six after. Before then, I'd be a graduate of this academy, with another two weeks to spare. I don't have to do this shit, but I'm going to. I don't need to keep fighting, but I am.

I didn't need to move my arms and press my palms into the thick muddy ground below me, but I anchored myself back into place.

I didn't need to move my legs and raise myself off of the ground, but I placed my body back into the air.

I didn't need to endure the pain, but I screamed as I felt my weakness being left in the earth below me.

"You don't have to get back up." He said.

"Twilight..." I muttered to myself, cheering myself onward. "...is counting... on me..."

"Let's go, Nondis. I don't need you to keep me up all night. I have a bed waiting on me."

Screaming as I finally locked my body back into the front-leaning rest position, I hollered back to the stallion.

"THANK YOU FOR CONDITIONING MY MIND AND STRENGTHENING MY BODY, SIR! PERMISSION TO CONTINUE!"

"Denied." He answered flatly.

"PERMISSION TO CONTINUE!"

I couldn't see him thanks to the mud in my eyes, but I already knew that he was starting to get pissed. "Get off of the ground, you're not-"

"PERMISSION! TO! CONTINUE! SIR!"

"GET OFF MY GROUND!"

"FUCK YOU! I WANNA CONTINUE!"

"GET OUT OF MY CAMP!"

"I WON'T!"

"GIVE UP!"

"I WILL NOT!"

"DELTA WILL RUN TRIPLE FOR YOUR SORRY ASS!"

"I AM AN E.U.P. GUARD CADET! I SWEAR TO UPHOLD THE LAWS OF THIS LAND, COUNTRY, AND CORPS OF CADETS! I AM LOYAL AND PATRIOTIC! I AM THE FUTURE OF REALM OF EQUESTRIA! I WILL WORK HARD TO IMPROVE MY MIND AND ENHANCE MY BODY! I WILL SEEK TO THE MANTLE OF LEADERSHIP AND UPHOLD THE EQUESTRIAN WAY OF LIFE! I SWEAR MY FEALTY TO CELESTIA AND WILL LAY MY LIFE UPON THE ROCKS WHERE SHE STANDS! MAY I BE GRANTED THE STRENGTH TO ALWAYS LIVE BY THIS CREED!"

I felt a powerful force drive into my side, shoving me over into the ground. The rain water battered against my face, clearing the mud from my eyes as I finally saw the dark cloud above my head. I also saw Shining walking over me, looking me dead in the eye as he started to quake with anger. I could tell that he wanted to pound me six feet under this patch of mud, but for some odd reason I felt... unafraid.

Instead, I glared back at him coldly. Anger that bottled up inside of me willed me to stand against him. I panted heavily as he took angered breaths, snorting at me as we started to exchange the same icy glare with one another. I felt the adrenaline rushing through my body, telling me that I was ready to fight. My human instinct to fight had awoken, only this time, I was ready to go for the kill.

Seconds passed as we stared back at each other. At that moment, I knew... I wanted to beat him. I would not lose. I would not give in to him. I would come out of this with the win. And in order to defeat him, I had to play his game and beat him at it. This was a challenge that any fool would take on any given day. But I'm not exactly known for making good decisions when I'm angry.

Challenge accepted.

Shining slowly crawled off of me, turning back to the cloud. A bolt of his magic dispersed the cloud and sent it packing to some unknown part of the world. As he walked away, I could see that he was soaked from head to tail from being where I was. Taking a moment to stop, he mumbled back to me.

"Report to your barracks."

Week 5...

It's been two weeks since the night Shining and I screamed at each other. Since then, he made sure to make my life a living hell. At least the hell back on earth had air conditioning, German potato salad, Bin Laden, Hitler, Napoleon, and Gene Simmons. This... this was as bad as the Twilight Saga staring Justin Beiber as Edward Cullen.

I shit you not.

Shining Armor decided to place me under a rigorous workout schedule. Though after the past five weeks, I started to do more working out than suffering. It was like he threw one thing at me and I started to shake it off. I think I'm starting to get the hang of it. At the very least, I no longer had to catch a breath every three push-ups. I was starting to really get into shape.

My arms started to get used to all of the push-ups he'd normally give me. So in place of those, he'd give me even more crazy exercises, many of them were made with the equine body in mind. In my combat training, he would send at least three other cadets to take me down simultaneously.

I've started to learn how to fight as well. I am now able to duck, bob and weave, even learning counters against weapon-wielding foes. If Shining had made any mistake thus far, it was teaching me how to fight multiple equines at once.

Not only did I feel myself become increasingly stronger, I felt even more confident. The times where I used to dread going into the weight room to build muscle, I started to enjoy it. And even in time, I threw in some football exercises to strengthen my core and lower body, not to mention increase my agility. On my weekends, I'd run around the track, just to get myself in condition for the final test in five weeks.

I was self-motivated to beat Shining at his game. And little did he know that I was doing all I could physically to surpass his expectations. I was going to win.

But this week, he decided to add one more trick in his book to the list.

Delta Company had grown significantly smaller since the first week of camp. Some of the recruits had to leave for personal reasons, others for trying to fake a disease. The rest, which was a resounding majority, left because of all of the rigorous workouts Shining put the company through because of me and a few others. We had some trouble makers in the group that often made us pay dearly for it. And then we had trouble magnets, which I was a prominent example of such. Anytime Shining was in a bad mood or he just wanted to chew me out, he'd cause the rest of us to fall to the ground and push until we reach the sky.

But today marked the halfway point of training. And unfortunately, our company commander was unsatisfied by the amount that still refused to quit. So he lined us up at the front of the barracks and made us run around the entire campus about three times, gave us two hundred push-ups total and held us in the up position as he walked through the ranks, whispering to some of the other recruits. As for the rest of us, he just simply yelled as he'd normally do.

"WELL WELL... IT'S BEEN FIVE WEEKS! AND SOME OF YOU FUCKERS ARE STILL ON MY DIRT!"

Once again, he walked over to me. I have to admit that this was starting to get a little tiresome at this point.

"SOME OF YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN LEFT A LONG TIME AGO, YET YOU ARE STILL HERE! SO TELL ME, WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!? WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES AND NOT ADMIT TO YOURSELF OF YOUR BIGGEST ONE YET!?"

He walked away from me, calmly pacing back and forth across the front of the formation. Lowering his tone, he tried his best to sound somewhat sympathetic.

"I know how it feels to make a huge mistake. I do. And I know how to admit to that mistake. You see, it takes some real balls to admit that you're wrong. And here's why, it shows that you are honest with yourself, the others around you, the ones who are beneath you, and the ones who are over you. You don't have to keep lying to yourself."

Looking out the corner of my eye, I could see Shining walking towards another one of the recruits who struggled to hold himself up. The recruit was fresh out of high school. He stopped just inches away from him as he spoke.

"You don't have to do this if you don't feel comfortable. The door is always open for you to come back, but only when you've matured. This is something that you don't need to do as of this moment right now. You can get out, learn from the world, and then you can come back and tell me your stories when you're back on my dirt."

The recruit Shining stood over was probably no older than seventeen or eighteen. The recruit finally reset himself, dusted himself off and walked away. A light smile showed on the company commander's lips. Taking his time to walk towards another struggling cadet, he gave another speech.

"You see? He admitted that he wasn't strong. And by admitting your weakness, you can become stronger in life. How, by learning from it. Not everypony is strong physically. Not everyone can fortify themselves mentally for what is to come."

This colt that he stood over this time was about nineteen. From my time here, I've learned that he was a college drop-out. Unfortunately, his parents made him enlist. He honestly didn't want to be here, but he didn't want to disappoint his parents.

"Not everypony can look at the dead body below your blood-splattered hooves. Nor can they cope with the failures and what consequences they will yield."

Finally succumbing to the pressure, he whimpered to Shining. "I just wanna go home!"

Shining did wear a smile this time. Instead, he had a rather condescending look on his face. As the recruit struggled to stand on his hooves, he sniffled and tried his best not to produce tears. Shining walked beside him and spoke into his ear. "Go on. You made it this far. You're strong in my book."

That was an obvious lie made to have the recruit feel better about himself. But I already knew that he was more than willing to toss the college drop-out on his ass from that moment forth. As the colt walked on, Shining addressed the entire company.

"There's..." Before he could even finish, another seven colts, spattered across the formation, rose from their positions and walked off silently. Shining started to smile again. "Well there's nine of you who decided that this life wasn't really for them. It's understandable. If I had to go through five weeks of this shit and I never got to see a mare, then yeah I'd be a little irritable too. Hell, I'm cranky now just from thinking about the things I could be doing with my wife."

He turned to me, causing me to turn my head back to the ground. Obviously, what I did was out of ranks.

"But instead, I'm here with you."

He started to walk towards me, chuckling all the while.

"You know... we all aren't built the same. We all aren't made to stand up to this kind of pressure. And I will tell you why. You see, there is a process called natural selection. It is where a creature learns to adapt to the environment they are in. And when they learn to adapt to that environment successfully, then they can find the others of that species. Then they can mate, reproduce, and then the cycle repeats itself."

He stopped mere inches away from my head. I could see the dirt-stained hooves of Shining Armor directly in front of me.

"Some of you were not made with that in mind. Especially you, private."

And he couldn't be any more wrong.

"So... wanna make it an even ten?"

Despite my struggling to stay up, I refused to move. And after a few seconds of my refusal to say anything, he grew frustrated and walked away.

"This is only the halfway point. Any chance of you leaving without consequence would be now. If you so choose to stay, then I will not be so lenient as I was for the past five weeks. You have another five weeks ahead of you. And in those five weeks, I would demand nothing but the best of discipline... COMPANY, RECOVER!"

The remaining members of the company rose to their hooves and stood as we were, covered in dirt and dust. Anyone caught trying to brush off would cause the entire company to drop back to the ground again. And none of us wanted to be in that position for another thirty seconds.

"FOR THE NEXT FIVE WEEKS, YOU WILL MASTER DISCIPLINE! YOU WILL MASTER THE ABILITY TO FOLLOW ORDERS! YOU WILL OBEY COMMANDS! AND YOU WILL NOT QUESTION THEM!"

As I stood in attention, I could already feel Shining looking at me.

"PRIVATE NONDIS, WHY IS IT THAT YOU FEEL AS IF YOU HAVE THE NEED TO STAND OUT!? WE ARE AT THE POSITION OF ATTENTION! NOW GET THERE OR THIS WHOLE COMPANY WILL DROP!"

I didn't know what he was talking about. I know that my feet are at a perfect forty-five degree angle. My fists are lined up to the seem of my pants. My shoulders are square and my head is level. I stared directly into the void in front of me and nowhere else. While I was in thought, I failed to notice Shining Armor rapidly approaching me.

"DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THE POSITION OF ATTENTION IS!?"

I was in the position... unless he means...

"PRIVATE, YOU ARE STILL STANDING OUT! GET ON YOUR KNEES!"

You... motherfucker!

"GET ON YOUR KNEES! NOW! THAT IS AN ORDER!"

I knew that in basic training, they'd do everything they could to break you out of your individuality, but this was just downright demeaning. Not wanting the platoon to suffer, I chose to follow his orders and fell on my knees. My fists trembled as I felt my fingernails digging deep into my palm.

"HANDS ON THE GROUND!

Reluctantly, I unwound my fists and planted my hands flat against the ground.

"GET YOUR HEAD UP! YOU ARE NOT LOOKING AT THE GROUND!"

So help me. I swallowed whatever dignity I had left and rose my head in an uncomfortable position. Instead of standing as I normally would, I was reduced to nothing more than a dog, crawling on all fours like a beast.

"THAT IS THE POSITION OF ATTENTION I WISH TO SEE YOU IN FOR THE REST OF THE DAY! COMPANY, FALL OUT!"

While everyone else carried on to do whatever they had to do, Shining stopped me from moving as he whispered quietly in my ear.

"Feel like quitting yet? I could do this all day."

I took a deep breath. Not just a deep breath, but I had to literally prevent a thermonuclear reactor in my brain from going into meltdown. I wanted to wring my hands around Shining's neck and crush his trachea. I wanted to see him squirm for air as I watched the life in his eyes fade. I wanted to watch his pupils expand as he stopped struggling. I longed for him to die. Similar revenge fantasies played out in my head as I held my peace.

"Well then. You can stay there until I order you otherwise. And don't even think about talking." He said, walking off shortly after.

At this point, I began to wonder if any of my letters were getting through to Cadance. Because now, I had a lengthy one I was going to write to her for this. She would hear about this little stunt he pulled and I would have the last laugh.

Week 7...

Throughout weeks five and six, Shining Armor was trying his damndest to get me to quit. So instead of going for physical torture, he instead went for the one thing I had left, my identity. Being that I stood upright, made me an instant stand-out from the others. But now, he was making me stand out even more with the things he's done. Sometimes, he made me march in that embarrassing position he made me stand in, others he'd have me drill like that. But since the end of the sixth week, he allowed me to stand on my own two feet again.

For some odd reason, it seems that Shining hasn't been so hard on me this week. Instead of constantly capitalizing on opportunities to call me out, he ended up bypassing me and going for anyone else. I guess my letters to Cadance made it through.

I guess it's a good reason why he called me to his office to speak with him privately.

"Come in."

I opened the door to see Shining Armor filing some paperwork. I guess those papers were resignation forms. I knew that he was still wanting me to quit, but I didn't think he'd be so causal about it.

"Who's reporting?" He asked.

"Sir, Private Nondis of Delta Company, First Squadron reporting."

"Oh good. I've been meaning to speak with you for a while now."

Despite my being in attention, I couldn't help but to roll my eyes. "Forgive me sir, I was kept busy."

"Close that door behind you." He stated as he sat behind his desk.

"Sir?"

"That was an order."

Something inside of me warned me that he was going to try and do God-knows-what to me. But I thought of it as a two way street. If he'd strike first, then I could call it self-defense and strike back. No one would know what really happened but the two of us. Granted there was a risk, but I was more than willing to take it. "Yes sir."

After I closed the door, I walked back the front of his desk. He removed himself from his seat. "Parade rest."

I assumed the position, crossing my palms behind my back and locking my thumbs together. My legs spread out shoulder-width. And being that he called me to parade rest, he wanted this conversation to be off the record.

"You know... I just don't quite get you. You know I'm making life as hard as I possibly can for you right now. You know that I'm giving you hell. You know I'm making your entire platoon suffer because of you. Yet... you still..."

He veered off, walking towards a cabinet on the other side of the room. I heard a glass clanking and the pouring of a drink. I smelled the familiar fermented odor of alcohol breezing past my nose.

"You don't mind if I drink, do you?"

I paid him no attention. "No sir."

"Good."

After a few seconds of silence, I heard the glass hit the desk as he gave out a raspy sigh. "Burns all the way down. Love this stuff."

Again, I rolled my eyes at his antics.

"Now... with all of my previous attempts to make you quit, I've finally see that I'm probably going about it the wrong way. So I'm going to be civil in my approach. Let's be gentlecolts. And as such I have but one request: I... need you... to resign."

"Permission to speak, sir?"

"Denied." He instantly shot me down. "Now, here is my deal, my offer on the table. If you resign from this camp, I will not pursue you any further. We can even... become acquaintances. I don't mind taking the time to make up for my past mistakes. I just want you to leave this office and never set foot in this camp again."

I remained silent.

"Not convinced? Okay, I can see that. Tell you what, I'll allow you to gain special privileges, you know, purging any marks on your record, if you get into some trouble, I can get you off on a clean slate. You'll be scot-free. You can stay here in Equestria and be it's most care-free citizen."

"Sir, isn't that illegal?" I inquired.

"That's the thing. To sweeten up the deal, any crime you'd commit would be placed on my record. How's that sound?"

To place any wrongdoings of my and attach it to his name. It sounds extremely selfless but there was no way I was going to follow up on his offer. "Sir, that sounds like a pretty enticing deal-"

Before I could finish, he interrupted me. "Great, so let me get those papers for-"

"But I will have to decline." I finally finished through his statement.

A period of silence ensued, followed by a hearty chuckle. "Wow, cracking jokes right off the bat, huh?"

I neither joked or cracked a smile.

"I see. So you're not quitting?"

"No sir. I won't. I've come this far, I'm not gonna quit."

Shining squinted as he walked towards me, whispering in my ear. "So, if I should so happen to issue that command to you as an order, you'd have to follow it, right?"

"Sir, with all due respect, I have followed all of the orders you have given me. And even now, I follow them. However, that is the first order I will choose to disobey."

"And why is that? Why? Just... tell me why?"

"Because the princess has issued me an order to come back as a graduate of this academy, sir. And if there was anything I was told by you, it was to never disobey the orders of those of a higher authority."

Shining seemed to be confused by my statement. "Yet, you disobey me?"

"Because of an order that was issued to me prior of my coming here. Two princesses gave me orders. One instructed me to make graduation. The other instructed me to not quit, no matter what."

Shining leaned away from me, pursing his lips as he took a moment to think. "They don't have rank, kid."

"Then why do you follow their orders, sir?" I rebutted, making him a bit flustered at my response.

"Are you talking back to me?"

"No sir, I'm informing you of the orders that I was given prior to my arrival." I stated before moving myself to attention.

"Stay there." He commanded, holding out his hoof.

I returned back to parade rest, still waiting for this conversation to end.

"Perhaps I should explain myself... and what I can do."

Shining walked over to his desk, opened one of the drawers and pulled out a manilla envelope. Unwinding the string that sealed it closed, he then tilted the envelope upside down, spilling the contents onto the desk. A seed of horror began to manifest within my body as I recognized the contents of that envelope were nothing more than the letters I attempted to ship out to Cadance and Twilight. I felt my heart jump inside of my throat while my jaw instinctively dropped.

"You tried to ship these out to Cadance and my little sister."

I tried my best to remain calm. "I was asked to give them updates on my progress."

"That's not what I read. They're more like complaints. Complaints set against me."

I couldn't say anything. I was caught. Throwing the manilla envelope onto the table, he slowly wandered back to me.

"Perhaps I should explain to you why I don't like you being around my sister. And maybe I need to go into detail. So feel free to ask. Ask me 'Captain, why do you dislike me so?' I give you permission to speak."

Finally given a chance to get some answers, I took the opportunity for what it was. "Why do you want me dead, Captain?"

"See? I never said that. I said that I dislike you."

My mind wandered back to the day where he and I got into our first confrontation. It was shortly after he caught me and Twilight in the bed together. "But you choked me."

"Oh yeah, there was that. But I didn't kill you. Would you like to know why?"

I could recall the familiar sounds of Twilight screaming at him to stop as my world started to go dark. "Because Twilight requested it?"

"No. I wanted to intimidate you. And honestly, Twily has seen me do much worse than me doing that to you. But in reality, if I wanted to kill you, I would've done it in front of her. I'm a family stallion, but a soldier first when it comes to those who threaten the livelihood of those I love and cherish."

Where did that come from? "You lost me, sir."

"I have a story to tell you. It would help explain my discomfort of you being around my little sister."

He walked over to the window just behind his chair at the desk. Pulling down one of the blinds, he looked outside and watched as the other cadets ran by.

"Once upon a time, like two years ago, there was a guard and his princess. You can already guess who those two would be. Continuing, there was a wedding for the guard and the princess. But the princess was kidnapped and replaced by an impostor, one who had the ability to shape-shift into any being she desired. Not only did she have that ability, but she could feed on the love of others. And you know how love can tie into one's life-force. So this impostor had fooled the guard and the other princesses, ultimately turning even his beloved little sibling against him, or the other way around should I say. So with all of that going on, the impostor then sent the younger sibling to the caves to face off against the so-called evil princess."

He closed the blinds, pausing for a moment to reflect. "What happened next, sir?" I asked, curious as to how the story ended.

"A lot actually. The real princess confronted the impostor as she was about to marry the guard in her place. Said impostor revealed herself to be a queen of another race, who just so happened to threaten the entire city of Canterlot. Her minions soon invaded with her reveal and sacked the entire city in the matter of an hour, killing dozens of guards and even more civilians. It was known as the EUP's largest security failure to date. Why you ask, because even Celestia herself was defeated in battle. But that failure didn't last for long. The queen's arrogance caused her to fail at the very end, when she had everything in her grasp. To sum it up, Cadance and I have had to attend numerous funerals to apologize to the families that lost their loved ones, right after our wedding."

So he's a racist with a motive. Not surprising. "So you don't trust me because of what they did to you and Cadance?"

"I didn't say that. But it causes me to become uneasy when I have to see my little sister with something or someone that could take advantage of her and eventually become her undoing. Now this... this is where this whole conversation comes together."

He sat back down at his desk, tapping his hoof against the wood as he stared at me with the intensity of the sun in the sky.

"When you and Twily were in the room, doing what you were doing that other day, I could already see the long list of consequences that my little sister would've endured. For starters, she would've lost her crown, that's one. Two, she would also have to surrender her wings, which I can guarantee that the process wouldn't be painless. Three, and here's the big one. Four years, four, of my little sister going through hell and high water alongside her friends, saving Equestria countless times, her adventures, her accomplishments, the nine years she spent as Celestia's personal student, her studies... All of her prestige, wiped away. Just because she wanted to have her way with you."

Suddenly, his distaste for me had some sort of merit. Despite his antics being out of order, as they were done for the sole purpose of making me quit, he did it because I was a threat to his sister's livelihood. Everything she did up to this point would've been for nothing if I had just so much as give my waist a push upward that day. It was a little heavy to think about. "I didn't think of all of that."

"I know. But I did. Every single day, every time I see you, every time she's with you, every time she mentions you. Every time, I see my little sister enduring what could be her worst fear. I see you, then I'd see how she would try to wear this smile for you, when deep down inside, she knows that the life she had worked so hard to build... fall apart in front of her very eyes."

That would be a Twilight that would've resembled Pinkie Pie at that point. I don't think my heart would be able to take something like that.

"Now, say if something had happened to the two of you after that. You'd leave her. Then what does she have left? What's her future? Who will accept her, the princess that fell from grace because of scandal? That is why I was so passionate to break you two off, why I'm still trying to do that now. That is why I despise you."

I see why he was so adamant on making me quit. If I quit, then he wouldn't have to worry about me breaking Twilight's heart, or destroying everything she worked hard to accomplish. But despite all of that, she still risked it to have me. And I traded my mundane life away just to be with her. Both she and I have come too far to call it quits. The truth of the matter is that I really do adore her... Too much.

"What if I promise not to leave her?"

Shining became bewildered at my question, almost seeming offended that I would still pursue her. "Why would you stay with someone not of your own?"

Because I don't want anyone else. "Sir, are you fucking nuts?"

"Then what do you propose, private?"

"A gentleman's wager, or gentlecolt as you pony-folk would say."

"What's the wager?"

I am really doing this. "If I fail the final examination in three weeks, I will resign from the camp."

"I like the sound of that-"

"But, if I pass, you give me your vote of approval, regardless of your personal desire. That means if you don't like me and Twilight being together, then you can deal with it."

Shining grimaced at my bet, but being that it was one of such high stakes, he couldn't refuse if one of the outcomes would be in his favor. "You're on my dirt, you little fuck. You'll resign, either at the end of these next three weeks or within them."

Snapping myself back at attention to give him a farewell salute, I spoke in confidence. "Captain, I look forward to marrying your little sister."

"Get out of my office." He said angrily, magically opening the door so that I could take my leave.

I walked out of his door way and turned to leave, but stopped myself short of leaving his view. I tapped on the doorway twice as I pointed to him and winked. "Later bro."

As I walked away, I could hear the door slam behind me and Shining Armor scream loudly.

These next three weeks will be fun.

Week 10...

Ho-lee-fuck! I made it all the way through. If I could go back in time and tell myself that I'd make it through ten weeks of grueling punishment and physical labor to enlist in the service, I would've told me to kill myself for lying.

But alas, we come to the final stretch of the race. And this one was the one to make or break you. I was nervous, but excited at the same time. But it wasn't just me who was feeling the pressure. Many of my company members, hell the entire class that came from all over Equestria, were nervous about it. Even the stallion next to me questioned himself.

"You think I could make it?"

"Dude, you own this. Me on the other hand, I'm not so sure." I answered, trying to make him feel better.

"Sure your species can't run as fast as us, but you can sure outmaneuver us. You turn faster than us, you can use those hands of yours to counter a lot of blows quicker than hooves can."

But they still had another thing that I didn't, including earth ponies. "But what about magic?"

"Magic-smagic, your sword skills are more precise than most of us in this company. And judging from all of the push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups, runs up hill-"

"We all did that shit! Nobody's different!"

"Um... Have you seen yourself since you came here? You've really stocked up!"

You know, throughout my time here, I never really gave myself the chance to look in the mirror and take in all of the changes my body had went through. "Really? I thought I was the main one that the platoon had to wait for whenever we ran around the campus."

"You don't run like us. You know, four hooves versus two... um... feet?" He asked, seeming a bit unsure as to what to call my lower extremities.

"Yeah, you got it there. But I'm just doing what I need to do to make it."

"You've trained yourself more than anypony else out here. I'd be surprised if you didn't pass."

"That's only because Captain Armor decides to pull me to the side and make me do all of this unnecessary shit."

The stallion chuckled, patting me on the back. "Well all of that 'unnecessary' exercise made you into a pretty scary beast. And you eat meat too! Remind me not to piss you off when you're hungry."

"I'm not gonna eat you, if that's what you're implyi-"

"COMPANY ATTENTION!"

The two of us stopped our idle chit-chat to pay attention to our company commander, who was donning his purple and gold armor.

"WHEN WE MARCH OUT TO THAT FIELD, YOU WILL GIVE ME YOUR BEST PERFORMANCE! I EXPECT NOTHING BUT SUCCESS FROM MANY OF YOU! WHEN WE LEAVE THAT FIELD, MOST OF YOU WILL BE SET TO STAND IN FRONT OF PRINCESS CELESTIA HERSELF AS SHE PROVIDES YOU WITH YOUR CERTIFICATE!"

He cut a glance back at me. "A SELECT FEW OF YOU WILL FAIL, AND THE MANY OF THAT LOT WILL FIND IT SUITABLE TO TAKE THEIR LEAVE! WHY DON'T YOU SPEAK FOR THAT GROUP, PRIVATE NONDIS!"

"SIR, I HAVE BUT ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU SIR!"

"AND WHAT'S THAT, PRIVATE!?"

In the words of our esteemed company commander. "NATURAL SELECTION, SIR! IT IS THE PROCESS WHERE ANY ORGANISM LEARN TO SUCCESSFULLY ADAPT TO THEIR ENVIRONMENT, SURVIVING WHATEVER IS THROWN AT THEM, FURTHERMORE GIVING THAT SPECIES THE ABILITY TO REPRODUCE AND POPULATE THE ECOSYSTEM!"

"THIS ISN'T A BIOLOGY CLASS, PRIVATE!"

Many of the others laughed at his response to my statement. "NO SIR, IT ISN'T! BUT WE HAVE ALL SURVIVED TO THIS POINT, WE ALL CHOSE TO ADAPT, AND WE ALL WILL SURVIVE THIS TEST, NO MATTER WHAT YOU MAY HAVE TO SAY! AND FURTHERMORE..." I licked my lips and sucked the air through my teeth. "Humans are top of the food chain, sir!"

A lot of the cadets oohed and giggled quietly as I called him out on his statement. Needless to say that Shining Armor was not too amused.

"THAT SOUNDS LIKE A CHALLENGE TO ME, PRIVATE! SINCE YOU SEEM SO CONFIDENT IN YOUR ABILITIES, WE SHALL SEE IF YOU CAN PUT YOUR BITS WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS!"

I'll put your sister where my mouth is.

"THAT'S ENOUGH CHIT-CHAT! COMPANY, MOVE OUT!"

After our short little tour to the field, I saw a group of other company commanders sitting in the bleachers alongside their sergeants. One of the sergeants I managed to recognize right off the bat. It was hard to not notice the six different colors in her mane as she and some of the others proceeded to place their bets on who would pass or fail. I wondered who she was betting on aside from me.

"Private Nondis, you're up."

Wow that was quick. Seeing that there were no others from my company to go before me, I had come to the conclusion that I was going first. I felt my heart pounding as I awaited my spotter, a recruit who was in their ninth week or so.

I felt as if I was some sort of character in one of those military movies who manages to pull out a win at the end of the story. They'd have the entire platoon crowding around them, celebrating their big victory. But then it had me thinking. Don't the main guy of the plot they usually bet against goes last?

"SIR, PRIVATE NONDIS REPORTING FOR INSTRUCTION, SIR!"

A loudspeaker rang from the observation deck. "Congratulations for making it this far cadet, report to the position of parade rest so that we may begin with your first set of instructions."

I assumed my position as my spotter stood in front of me, looking towards the observation deck for a signal of some sort. As soon as he turned to me, I knew what time it was.

"PRIVATE, ATTENTION!"

My heels clopped together as I snapped straight up.

"LEFT FACE!"

I turned myself, pivoting on my left foot as my right slid me into position. Afterwards, I brought my heels back together.

"RIGHT FACE!"

I pivoted on my right foot this time as my left slid me into position. Finishing the move, I was facing my spotter again.

"ABOUT FACE!"

My right foot kicked back becoming my pivot point, turning me right-way until I was facing the opposite direction. My feet were back in a forty-five degree angle.

"PARADE REST!"

I assumed the position, spreading my legs and placing my hands behind my back.

"PRESENT ARMS!"

I did not move. Moving from parade rest to salute your instructor was considered as an invalid move. So I waited until the command was reset.

"As you were! ATTENTION!"

I snapped back into place. Here comes the fun part.

"LEFT FACE, RIGHT FACE, LEFT FACE, LEFT FACE, ABOUT FACE, PRESENT ARMS, ORDER ARMS, ORDER ARMS, LEFT FACE!"

I turned to my left, then to my right, then to my left twice, turned around to face my spotter, salute him, retract the salute and halted all movement from that point on.

Fucker thought he could trip me up.

"As you were. RIGHT FACE!"

Turning to my right, looking at an obstacle course in the middle of the field, I awaited further instruction.

"FORWARD MARCH!"

As I marched forward, I called out my own cadence. "LEFT, LEFT, LEFT-RIGHT, RIGHT-LEFT!"

"MARK-TIME MARCH!"

I stood still marching in place as I continued to call out my cadence.

"PRIVATE, HALT!"

I stopped marching on my left as soon as he gave the order. In front of me was an obstacle course that awaited me. Though most of it was catered to the equine body, I still had the ability to conquer it. But that didn't stop me from sweating bullets as I waited for the command to be given to me.

"YOUR OBJECTIVE IS TO COMPLETE THE COURSE WITHIN THE ALLOTTED TIME! YOU HAVE A TIME OF EIGHT MINUTES AND THIRTY SECONDS TO COMPLETE THIS COURSE! DO NOT LEAVE THE STARTING AREA UNTIL GIVEN THE SIGNAL TO ADVANCE!"

All I could hear is the wind gently blowing by my ears. For the moment, I allowed myself to have peace. I thought about how far I had come since my coming to camp, even from the first day I set foot in Equestria somehow. I had went through so much since my time here. But I realized that even though life may find humor in knocking you down, you get back up and you keep fighting. Just like I had to fight even now.

"MOVE!"

My feet launched me into a sprint, running across the field and into the first set of obstacles. I had to carefully plant my feet into the barrel rings, similar to what football players would do to truck tires. Breaking through that obstacle, I had to climb a rope and reach the platform where the net above the mud pit lied. Crossing the way, I jumped to the other side and jumped off, tucking myself in as I landed. Running, I had to catch the rope and swing over a mud pit. Crossing that, I then ran for several more yards to run into a log climb. Hurriedly, I worked myself to the top of the awkward ladder and jumped over the top. Running for quite some time, I finally ran into the crawl pit, where I had to use my knees and elbows go trek through ten yards of mud under a net made of barbed wire. Breaking through, I ran for a few more yards.

I started to feel the fatigue from running the course take it's toll as I eyed my next objective.

My next obstacle was a large log I had to run up and down while trying to balance myself as I crossed. As soon as I took a step on the log, my foot slipped, causing me to stumble. I didn't have time to worry about it. I tried a second time and ran across it with little incident. Afterwards, I had to skip from one log to the other, which were spaced apart by a yard and a half each. After doing this several times, I had to run for the next part of the course. My final obstacle was running though a door and climbing over a wall. After passing through all of that, I had to sprint for the finish line.

My chest was on the verge of exploding from the relentless work I had to pull through. I kept cheering myself to finish strong. I couldn't give up now, not when I was so close to finishing. Seeing the finish line made me want to give it my best. Taking a solid breath, I strove forward, running and running until I had finally reached the finish line.

As soon as my body broke the plane, I felt myself crumble to the ground. I panted and breathed, clutching my chest as I awaited my time.

"PRIVATE NONDIS, THE TIME GIVEN WAS EIGHT MINUTES AND THIRTY SECONDS! YOUR TIME: EIGHT MINUTES, FORTY-TWO SECONDS!"

No... fucking... way... I failed?

Shining left from his seat to meet up with me. I didn't even want to see him at this moment. I could barely move from the weight of what all had transpired. I couldn't have failed. Not like this, not when I've worked so hard. Suddenly, something caught my spotter by surprise as he walked off to speak with another stallion who approached the timing table. While I was too busy letting defeat crush me, I could hear the voices of the others.

"Corporal?" My spotter asked.

"This just came in from the observation deck." The other stallion said. From the sound of it, it seemed like they pulled out a sheet of paper. After a bit of silence, I heard a quiet gasp.

"You mean the human had a time handicap, sir?" I heard the spotter whisper, causing me to raise my head up in surprise.

"From what I was told, it was because of his having two legs rather than four."

I saw Shining Armor turn his attention away from me and to the two other stallions. "What's going on?"

"Captain, this came in from OD." The spotter handed him the sheet of paper.

As Shining read on, he began to laugh lightly. Balling up the paper and throwing it at the ground, he screamed at the other two stallions. "ELEVEN MINUTES AND TEN SECONDS!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?"

I felt life in me again. I watched as Shining Armor threw a complete temper tantrum as the corporal continued to explain. "It came from the observation booth, sir. That means that this is from Celestia herself. We can't go over that!"

"My time is specifically eight-thirty. It stays that way unless Princess Celestia verbally says otherwise."

The corporal dismissed the spotter and asked him to wait for the next recruit. Meanwhile, he whispered to the disgruntled captain. "Then I suppose a private audience with her royal majesty would be a more suitable place of discussion, captain?"

Kicking the balled-up sheet of paper, he grumbled as he stormed off the field, swearing and curing out anyone who dared approached him. Finally he turned back to the corporal and spoke in a low tone. "Make it official."

I wanted to kick up so much dirt right now. I just wanna run up to him and scream a large 'fuck you' his face. I don't even care right now! I FUCK-ING WON!

The corporal made the announcement on the loudspeaker shortly after making his way up to the observation deck. "PRIVATE NONDIS, YOUR TIME WAS EIGHT MINUTES AND FORTY-TWO SECONDS! THE ALLOTTED TIME FOR ONE OF YOUR SPECIES HAS BEEN CALCULATED TO BE AT ELEVEN MINUTES AND TEN SECONDS! FINAL RESULT OF PHYSICAL EXAMINATION: PASS!"

---

Graduation Ceremony

---

It wasn't exactly a beautiful day, it was partially cloudy outside and the sun tended to show itself from time to time. But we didn't have to worry about the weather too much being that we were all inside of a large gymnasium. Many of the graduates still waited for their company to be called while mine lined up at the side of the stage. As I stood in line, I took the time to reflect on all of the things that I've done in my time of being here. At this very moment, I was a royal guard. It still feels a bit unusual to call myself that. I just can't believe that I'm actually a guard. It's just so surreal.

I could see nothing but the stage in front of me. Cadance was the one announcing the names while Celestia was the one to pass out certificates. Twilight stood next to her, eagerly jumping up and down as she waited for my name to be called. Luna, from what I heard, was still in Zebrabwe finishing up business. Shining Armor was nowhere to be found.

"Private First Class, Nondis P. Haines!"

As my name was called, I rose to the top of the stage, walking across as the first human to graduate into the Earth-pony, Unicorn, Pegasus, Guard of Equestria. Taking my certificate from Celestia, she whispered to me her congratulations. Fellow guardsponies stood up to applaud as I crossed the stage. Just when I was about to walk off, Twilight stopped me dead in my tracks, pushing me towards the podium. Cadance, giggled a bit at my flustered expression.

"As our first human to stand on this stage and provide your services towards the betterment of this country, please share with us your your insightful remarks."

"Yeah, we want a speech, rookie!" I heard Rainbow Dash scream from all the way across the gym.

Twilight gave me another push towards the microphone, while Cadance wore a gigantic smile. Somehow, was nervous, but then again I was standing in front of hundreds of graduates who offered to lay their life on the line as I have.

"Um... hi." I said nervously as the mics started to feedback, screeching and whistling as the pony in the sound booth tried to level me off. "Is this thing working?" I asked into the mic, gaining a few chuckles from the audience. At least I felt a little more comfortable now.

"Fillies and gentlecolts... I never though I would say that..." Once again, I got a few laughs, including a few chortles from the three princesses behind me. Twilight nodded her head as Cadance waved me onward. "I can truly say that this is an honor. It is an opportunity that I never thought I would be able to..." I struggled to find the words to accurately state what I was feeling. "I can't even put it in words. To be a citizen of Equestria. To physically be able to stand in this very spot and say that I am proud to be an Equestrian guard, is a humbling experience. Though I'd say that I am not the first to be different. I drink from a well that I did not even dig. Many other pioneers, who were the first to be what they were, came long before I did. And to consider myself as one of those pioneers, I can say that I am truly gifted."

I couldn't see the rainbow maned pegasus in the back, but I knew that she was there. I glanced back to Twilight, who was shedding a few tears. Cadance had started to shed some tears of her own. I turned back to the audience, knowing what the next part of my speech would be.

"To all of those who encouraged me, thank you for pushing me forward. To those who ridiculed me, thank you for criticism, as it has helped me come a long way. To those who sought my failure, thank you for motivating me to succeed. I couldn't have done this without you." I turned back around to Twilight. "And I mean that from the bottom of my heart."

Applause erupted throughout the gym as I started to walk away from the podium. But before I could, the purple princess tackle-hugged me before I could even respond. The only difference from before and now was that I didn't even budge when she ran into me. Instead I spun her around as she locked on to me, hugging me tightly. I knew that this small display was going to delay the program, so I offered to speak to her after... But she had other plans.

The crowd screamed and hollered as she flew up to me, clasping my head in place as she planted her lips against mine. Celestia blushed as she scrunched her muzzle in surprise. I didn't initially think of returning the kiss, as it caught me completely off my guard. But after a few seconds, I felt myself let go of the world and return unto her the gift she gave me at that moment. Breaking off our short engagement, we stared back at each other as she gently booped me in the nose. Cadance, with a devious expression, spoke into the mic.

"Fillies and gentlecolts, the soon-to-be married, Private First Class Nondis and Princess Twilight Sparkle."

Both she and I turned into ripened tomatoes at the sudden disclosure of our status while the crowd cheered us on.

After the ceremony, I was given my check. Not too long after that, I packed my belongings and exchanged a few words with the others. They all had a laugh when they found out the real reason why Shining Armor was being such a dick to me. As of now, there were only three of us left in the barracks.

"So... You're going to be with the captain's younger sister?" A stallion named Silver Dart asked.

I smiled as I nodded. "Well... yeah."

The other stallion, named Spade, bowed to me mockingly. "Sir, I congratulate you on your... spectacular catch. Most of the boys envy you now."

Cadance alongside Twilight walked into the room as we all exchanged a few laughs. Twilight ran up behind me and hugged me once more as Cadance levitated one of the bags from me. "Are you ready to go?" The pink princess asked.

"I've been ready to go as of ten weeks ago!" I answered back, earning a few sympathetic nods and groans, followed by a few more laughs.

"Hey... in speaking of which, where's the captain?" Silver Dart asked.

Cadance sighed heavily. "Princess Celestia had sentenced him to latrine duty."

"What!?" The three of us sounded out in unison.

"For a month." Twilight added.

"Ooh... that can't be good." Spade muttered.

"Yeah... and to top it all off, he's going to be stationed in Canterlot for the time being." Cadance finished.

Thinking about it, I didn't really see what could be so difficult about cleaning up the bathroom for a month. "That doesn't seem so bad."

"On paper, no. But Princess Celestia gave him a toothbrush and told him that it was his main tool used to clean all of the toilets in the castle. And she doesn't want a single speck of anything around, on, or in them." Twilight explained further.

"That still doesn't seem too bad."

Cadance shuddered as she spoke. "Shining's wearing a restrictive device on his horn, so he's cleaning them using his hooves... and... ugh..."

She let my imagination wander for a bit. Unfortunately, my imagination was a little too graphic. I saw Shining Armor brushing off a toilet using his teeth. I didn't even wanna think about what would happen then if he had to clean up somebody else's... Instinctively, I bit a finger while cringing. "Uuugh-"

Cadance nodded. "Eeeyeah! That."

Meanwhile in Canterlot...

Shining Armor sighed in relief as he stared proudly at his work. All of the toilets of the bathroom sparkled and glistened as if they were just bought from the store. Though he didn't like that he was still cleaning toilets, but he did enjoy the aftermath of seeing a clean space.

"S'cuse me sonny-boy! I can't let this one wait!"

A heavy-set, light-blue unicorn-stallion ran into one of the stalls as Shining looked on with horror of what was to come.

"NO! I JUST CLEANED THAT!"

Shining heard the slamming of the seat. Secretly, he wished that the stallion had some sort of condition where he had to urinate while sitting down. The first sound he heard was one of stream of liquid followed by another sound that was most... unflattering. A trombone producing pedal-tones sounded out as if it was being played in between two gigantic, wet slabs of meat. That was soon followed by the sounds of solid objects sploshing into the water.

Shining dreaded the mess the stallion was going to create. "Oh no."

"Oooohboy! Have ya tried any of those chili cheese hayfries with the extra jalapeños? Things are to die for."

Shining held his head in shame as he tried to ignore the brown onslaught going on in the stall he just cleaned. "Why me?"

"You'll be alright laddie! You know what I told the last guy? Here's what I said-" As the stallion attempted to flush the toilet, he found that the water started to backflow out of the bowl and onto the floor. "Um... Laddie, by any chance you might have a plunger?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!"

Have you ever met someone who had more influence or was more popular than you ever would be? Have you ever sat down and talked with these very same individuals and found yourself being able to converse with them on an even level? Throughout my life, I have sought nothing more than to become friendly with some of the most popular individuals in my school. I always wanted to know how it felt to be the idol of the student body.

I've tried it back in high school. It royally sucked and I failed so hard that hell had to designate a place for me to land.

Often times, I'd imagine myself being some protagonist of an anime, going through my daily struggles. I'd imagine myself being some sort of zero who would grow in popularity, ultimately being the hero that the school often talked about. Instead, I let my mind come up with all kinds of catchphrases and comebacks for when people say stuff to me. And to my misfortune, I could never say one without stuttering or slowing myself down to think about what I was going to say. Not only that, but by the time I came up with something, they'd pile on the insults before I could even so much as breathe.

Back in my high school days, I couldn't even hold a conversation for more than five seconds without running out of things to say or saying something stupid. I can safely say that those days have been long numbered. Instead, I'm here in another world, the subject of the press. All of this attention for me just setting my foot on Canterlot Castle grounds, it was ridiculous. I didn't come to answer to the tabloids, I came because I had to start my first patrol mission.

Thankfully, I had someone with me who was always seen as the center of attention. I just hope she can give me a few pointers on what to do on my first day.

My first day in Ponyville didn't last as long as I had hoped. Instead of chilling at home, I was assigned to patrol the royal palace in Canterlot. By the time my train had arrived into the city, I was greeted by a slew of journalist who all wanted interviews with the first human member of the E.U.P. Guard. Thankfully, the recently promoted staff sergeant, Rainbow Dash, managed to clear out the swarm of ponies holding microphones and tape recorders. But soon after, I had started to become nervous. The pressure of being a human guard in the land of equines was already rearing it's ugly head.

Though that was the least of my worries at this point.

When we finally cleared the checkpoint outside the castle gates, the throng of reporters stopped trailing us for interviews. When we had entered into the palace, she immediately started giving me my first set of instructions.

"Make sure you don't go wandering off. Canterlot Castle is way too big to give yourself the grand tour."

"Yes ma'am."

"Be sure to keep your head up and your eyes open."

"Yes ma'am."

"When you are given instructions from any of the assistants, follow them."

I quirked an eyebrow at the order, assuming that the assistants were actually civilians. "Ma'am?"

"They're considered as the eyes and ears of Princess Celestia. If they have anything to say, it'd be best to follow on it."

While I continued to walk, I noticed that she was walking ahead with her eyes closed. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she has the layout of the castle imprinted on the back of her eyelids. But instead, she was about five seconds from walking into a marble pillar. "Staff Sergeant?" I called to get her attention.

"S'up, rookie?" She paused and tilted her head back towards me.

"I can understand your desire to look cool, but do you have to wear sunshades indoors?" It was already bad enough that she had her eyes closed, but she was really inviting a kiss from the decorative pylon that sat about a foot away from paying her muzzle an unexpected hello.

Playing off the averted accident, she lowered her shades and looked back at me with a smug smile. "Nondy, you really want me to show all of my awesomeness to those who don't even deserve it?"

You know, I wouldn't mind her putting on those shades and crashing face-first into a marble pole. I'd actually welcome with a laugh. "Nevermind."

Taking a step to the side, dashing all hopes of my seeing her kissing the column, she continued walking forward. "Thought so. Now back to your instructions. When Blueblood comes to you and order you to do something-"

Trailing behind her, I finished her statement, expecting the same orders to go through. "Follow his orders, ma'am."

"Wrong. Celestia made sure he doesn't have any military power, so he can't give you orders. He may be a royal in title, but he's still a civilian."

Well that threw a wrench towards my expectations. "If I may ask, why can't he give orders?"

"Because he's a self-entitled jerk who doesn't deserve power. Not only that, but he also tried to get two of our best-trained guards to fight each other in a duel-to-the-death because he thought that there, and I quote, wasn't enough to talk about that day."

I felt all the muscles in my face shut down, that's how dumbfounded I really was. "Are you serious?"

"Do I outrank you?"

That was a definitive yes. "Okay. But couldn't he do something, you know, constructive?"

Rainbow Dash chuckled at my question. "His response to that. 'If I wanted to do something constructive, then I'd send for one of my wives to do it. I don't do constructive because it wastes time that I could be using at the spa'."

Wow. That's levels of pretentiousness that even Rarity would despise. I guess that's another reason why she was so disgusted to see him the last time I was here. "...So, don't follow his orders."

"Bingo!"

While we walked down the hall and made a left turn, I managed to catch a glimpse of something that was... quite amusing. A white stallion walked out of the colt's room, wearing a black apron with pink, lacy embroidery. As he walked out, he dragged out a mop bucket alongside him. His dual-toned blue mane was a disheveled mess. Instantly, I had pulled Rainbow Dash to the side. "Uh..."

"What?" She asked, seeming annoyed that I tugged at her wing lightly.

"That." I said quietly, pointing to the stallion across the hall.

As soon as her eyes met with the stallion's outfit, she tried her best to keep her voice to a minimum. She failed to do so as she exploded into laughter. "I have to admit, the Captain looks pretty in pink."

"He looks so cute." I agreed, trying my best not to bring any further attention to the two of us.

As he pulled out the bucket, he saw the two of us holding our sides in as we found humor in his appearance. "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT! KEEP WALKING!"

"Sir, yes ma'am!" I jokingly called out.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?" Shining asked, infuriated of seeing that I was in full guard attire, with the exception of the armor.

"I mean... Ma'am, yes sir!" Rainbow added as she attempted to recover from her laughing fit. She was failing to do so.

Shining looked back at the apron he was wearing and started to turn into a shade of rosy pink. "THIS ISN'T MY APRON! It's Cadance's actually..." That explanation did nothing but intensify our desire to laugh. "BUT I JUST WEAR THIS TO KEEP MY COAT FROM BEING STAINED BY FOREIGN SUBSTANCES!"

I shook my head and cleared my throat. Taking a deep breath to clear the laughs out of my system, I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Sir, I am not one to judge if you wish to reveal your inner-femininity. I won't argue if you so choose to identify as female rather than-"

Becoming even more annoyed at my joke, he started to scream. "Don't you have a patrol to go on? GET MOVING!"

Both Rainbow and I gave him a salute and ran down the hall, past a smelly, yet cutely dressed Shining Armor. When we finally turnned another corner and left him in the other corridor, we shared a brief chuckle of a moment that would make us laugh for the rest of the day.

Rainbow Dash started to reset herself back into a serious tone as we carried on with our day. "Wow. So that's what the princess punished him with? Seems pretty weak." She stated.

I still had a giggle or two left inside of me as the situation had me thinking of what his punishment was as well as his outfit. It's not everyday you'd see the captain of the royal guard wearing a French maid outfit. "I don't think so. I think it's funny how Celestia, in the most literal way, told him to go eat shit."

Rainbow turned to me. "But there was still the-"

I shook my head before she could even finish. "I know he was being an asshole, but I'm not gonna feed to the fire. Hatred begets hatred after all, especially with someone Twilight holds dear to her."

Rainbow sought to correct me on my earlier musings. "Then if you didn't want to add to the fire, then why did you-"

"Because that shit was pretty funny." I openly admitted. Although that might've sounded mean, I took some sickly pleasure in seeing him in such circumstances. And then again, I had much worse revenge fantasies running through my head throughout basic training. So this was practically nothing in comparison to what I wanted to do to him at the time.

"You got a point there. But I think that it would work both ways, don't you think?"

Which is why I didn't press for a harsher punishment. I know Twilight would understand, but that doesn't dismiss the fact she wished that we'd gotten along. And if she wanted us to get along, then I know a way where we could at least cool our shit. "Yeah, but I'm not too concerned with-"

Suddenly, there was a voice coming from further down the hall. "Ah... Gaaaaah!"

"What the fuck was that?" I asked, confused from the sound of the voice.

Rainbow started to ponder on the possibilities of who the voice could belong to. "To me it sounded like-"

"CHOO!" A loud sneeze echoed throughout the castle, causing us to run towards the source of the disturbance. While she took to her wings, I ran after her at full-speed. In a few seconds, we turned the corner and found the source of our sickly screamer.

"Princess Celestia?" Rainbow asked in disbelief.

I started to waive a hand at her, but then I had realized that I was no longer a civilian. Retracting my hand, I instead threw up a salute. "Hey princess? How you doin'?"

"Not so gre-eeahh-Ahhh!!!" She admitted in a nasally tone. She seemed unusually tired, her muzzle was an obvious discoloration from her usual white, now in a shade of red. She sniffled and snorted and blinked often. Her movements seemed more relaxed than what she would normally display on a daily basis.

"You seem like you have allergies." Rainbow guessed as she maintained her distance.

"I've lived for well over a millenium. I doubt something as minuscule as an *cough* allergen would throw me off like this."

I walked up to her and offered to take her temperature, but instead she waived me off. But that cough was a dead giveaway. "You need to take it to the room. You seem like you've caught a cold."

As she spoke, Celestia attempted to stave off her sneezes. "Don't be redi-aheeh... ridiculous. I don't get colds. I haven't had one... oooh... in over six-hundred years."

"You just admitted to getting them." Rainbow pointed out.

"I don't need to rest. I just need to get my work done for tod-aahhaha.... for today." Celestia argued weakly as her eyes started to water.

Rainbow Dash tapped a hoof to her chin as she thought about something. "This seems oddly familiar."

"To what?" I asked curiously.

"Well, there was this one time that Applejack had-"

"A-CHOO!" Celestia cut off the cyan pegasus as she sniffled and tried to walk forward.

I walked beside her, trying to guide her back around. "Princess, let's take you to the room."

"No thank you... I'll be just fin... ahaah... AHHHHHHH-"

And then she inadvertently turned to my direction.

"SHOOO!"

It was just as gruesome as it sounded... Why, fate? Just why?

After we managed to get her to her room, she allowed me to borrow her restroom so that I could clean the spit and mucus off of my face. As I grabbed a towel and started scrubbing, I couldn't help but to think about the one time I was at a party in high school. I was often told that I wouldn't even get a chance to run game on the popular girls. I was told that no one of significance would even so much as sneeze in my direction.

The irony was that statement had now come full-circle, but I was more focused over how disgusted I was.

Walking out of the bathroom feeling a lot less unnerved than I was going in, I stood by the bedridden ruler. She looked at me with an apologetic expression.

"Thank you for *snort* bringing me to my room. I really didn't think I was this bad. And I'm terribly sorry for what had happened earlier." She said with thermometer in mouth.

Still shuddering from the memory of being blasted in the face by a misty spray of snot and spit, I just simply nodded to acknowledge her apology. "You're good."

Rainbow Dash flew in from the other side of the room, giving her a warm blanket to rest under. "Here you go, princess."

The sun princess gave us her best smile. "Thank you both so much..."

"Alright, let me check your temperature." I said reaching for the thermometer in her mouth. As soon as my hand brushed against the glass, I felt a scalding pain jolt through my fingers, sending signals to my brain to withdraw myself immediately. "FUCK!"

"What is it?" Celestia asked worriedly.

"YOU'RE FUCKING HOT!" I said, flicking my hand back and forth.

Celestia gave off a light chuckle. "I'm... flattered." She said with her best shy impersonation, causing me to become quite flustered.

"Oh nononono! I mean temperature wise, not that you're-"

"It was a simple joke." She confessed.

"Oh..." I think my cheeks were running red with rivers of blood, I was so embarrassed. "So I guess we'll send for a doctor."

She reached out to me. "That won't be necessary. I'll be over this within a day."

Not wanting to get burned again, I jumped back from the princess' hoof. "I don't think that's how it goes, princess."

"Your majesty, I'm with the rookie on this one. There's no way you can raise and set the sun in this condition. We need to get a doctor here right away." Rainbow added.

"ACHOO!" Her sneeze seemed to further our point. Yet despite our pleas, she stood firm. "Oh, for what? The moment they'd see me like this, they'll start panicking as if it would be the end of the world. I'd much rather keep word of my illness to a minimum."

"We can't just leave you here." Rainbow argued back.

"I know that you wish to suffer in silence, but if we let you sit around untreated, then you'll catch walking pneumonia, maybe even a bronchial infection. My point is that you need somepony to watch over you." I stated, taking another step back for good measure.

After my statement, the princess seemed to have found amusement in something I may have said. "I see."

"What's so funny?" I asked.

The princess smiled at me, giving me all of her focus. "You finally got acquainted with our pronouns. Twilight has always wrote to me that you were a bit stubborn when it came to using them."

Now that she mentioned it, I did say 'somepony' rather than 'somebody'. Though it still made me a little uncomfortable to speak like that. Teachings since childhood and whatnot. "Oh. I'm still not used to it."

Celestia hummed as she turned over, starting to close her eyes. "It will grow on you, but for now I'm in need of my rest."

"Sure thing. Just call us when you need us." Rainbow said as we both began to take our leave.

The princess stirred behind us, raising herself back up to speak. "Actually, I don't mean to reject your company, Rainbow Dash. But *ahem* I would greatly appreciate it if I was given some time to get to know my newest guard member."

"The rookie?" Rainbow asked pointing to me.

"Mare says what?" I questioned, tilting my head to the side.

"Throughout the past nine months, I've been getting word of your status and doing all I could to ensure your comfort. But you haven't once paid a visit or even gave me the time to know what makes you comfortable. As Twilight's friend, I too wish to get to know you for who you really are."

Wow, a ruler of a nation has asked to spend the day with me. I can't even begin to describe how amazing that is. It's almost like hanging out with president Obama, only I'm not asking him a shitload of questions about the economy and how my student loans wouldn't be paid off until I was around fifty-three years old. "I'm... honored? But I always thought, being you were the princess and all that you were too busy to take visits."

"Well, I do happen to have a day off. And that day would be today."

"Princess, you're sick. I don't want to be a nuisance."

"You're fine. I want you to spend some time with me. Please grant me the company in my hour of sickness?"

I cringed as I tried to argue against it. But before I could, Rainbow Dash whispered in my ear. "Uh, she the head-honcho. Whatever she asks, you do."

Right, in that case... "Princess, you can count on me."

"Thank you." She spoke quietly with a smile. "I'll send you a letter every time I need you to come by."

"Okay."

With another salute, Rainbow and I dismissed ourselves and took to the outside hall. When the door closed behind us, we proceeded to talk amongst each other.

"Well that was unexpected." I said, looking back to the closed door.

Rainbow turned her attention from the door back to me. "Yeah. But that doesn't change things. As for now, your objective is to watch over the princess. Let me know if her condition worsens."

"Yes ma'am." I confirmed my orders, giving her a salute.

"Oh, and another thing."

"Yes?"

She casually flapped her wings and began to hover in the air. "Be yourself. Do you and you'll do fine."

Not even a second after that, she darted off down the hall, a trail of multiple colors followed her as she flew. Meanwhile, I was more or less nervous over me trying to act myself around Equestria's primary ruler.

"Okay, I guess."

"Come... *ahem* ...excuse me. Come in."

Walking into the room, I could see that Celestia was looking slightly better since we placed her in the bed. Though her cough didn't sound the prettiest, she was definitely getting it out of her system. I just had to make sure that I didn't touch her.

"You called?" I asked, closing the door behind me.

"I did. I'm sorry to be of an inconvenience." She said, still giving me the same apologetic look from earlier. I guess she still felt guilty about sneezing on me. I guess it must've been embarrassing for her.

"It's only been fifteen minutes since I left the room. No inconvenience there." I said, walking up to her bedside.

"But I am disrupting your objective."

I inched my hand closer to her to comfort her, but my previous encounter with her caused me to hesitate even more than I needed to. Eventually, I withdrew. "Your highness, you-"

She rolled over to face me, adjusting herself against the pillow her head laid on. "Please, no formalities."

"Ma'am, there's no need to worry about it. As of now, you're my objective." With what I said, she might try to get me flustered up again. Might as well beat her to the punch. "Taking care of you, that is."

Rustlings and the sounds of bed springs squeaking caught my ear. The princess started to move, sitting herself up to allow me to sit next to her on the bed. After creating a free space, she patted her hoof on the bedding. "Come here."

"Huh?" I asked, unsure of how to respond or what to do. I get that she was inviting me to the bed, but what for? I took a deep breath and dismissed any dirty thoughts and took a cautious seat on the sheets. When I came into contact with the bedding, I noticed that the place I sat on was rather warm, too warm for my comfort.

"Do you see Twilight as an objective as well?"

And these questions she asked. Was she trying to warm me up to her? If so, then what was her motive? "Well no! Of course no-"

"Then you would see her as what then?" She asked, inching closer to me.

"I'd see her as my friend, more than that actually." I inched away as I spoke.

"Then why is it that I'm placed on such a pedestal?" She asked, scooting over towards me, leaving me with little room to avoid her.

I started to panic, my heart began to pound in my chest as I found myself bumping against the massive wooden headboard. "Well-"

"You don't place Twilight in that kind of position, regardless of her royal status. I don't even recall you addressing Cadance so formally." She leaned in towards me, looking at me with half-lidded eyes. I ended up scrunching myself against the headboard as I was left with little avenue of escape.

"Well with all due respect, it did kinda take some getting used to, especially with Cadance." I explained as she continued to lean to me. I closed my eyes, expecting her to do what she willed.

"Gotcha!" She whispered as she tapped me on the nose gently. I opened my eyes in surprise of what she did. Somehow, I was expecting her to do something irrational. Instead, she amused herself by flirting with me. She pulled back and gave me my separate space again. "In that case, *ahem* I'd like you to disregard my rank and status as we share our time today."

"Oh. Well I guess we can do that, princess." As soon as I finished that sentence, she looked at me with a rather saddened expression. By then, I had realized that I had just went against her request that very moment. "Sorry, force of habit."

"Celestia is all you need to call me." She asked, placing a hoof on my hand.

As her hoof came into contact with my hand, I had noticed that they were not as warm as I thought that they would be. I mean they were warm, but not furnace temperature like the sheets she laid underneath. I started to calm down a bit. "So, what do I need to do for you?"

She looked to her left and to her right. After she confirmed that there were no others, she motioned me to come in closer so that she could whisper to me. "I... um... I need you to keep this as a confidential secret between you and me."

"Okay."

Celestia lowered her head a bit, looking to me. "Place the tip of your finger on my horn."

I'm not sure as to what she was planning, but if I had done enough studying with Twilight, I knew that horns could be a very sensitive part of the equine body. I just wasn't aware of what she was going to do as soon as I did, but being that she might show me something about her secret, I decided to oblige her. My comfort levels were back to normal as I extended my right index finger to touch the tip of her horn. The very instant we came into contact, a painful jolt of energy ran through my entire arm. "OW!"

"I've given you a little bit of my magic. For now, be sure not to let that finger touch anything else."

She stopped me just millimeters from sticking my sore finger into my mouth for comfort. "...Okay."

She pointed to a large bookshelf on the other side of the room. "On that shelf over there, there is a book with the title Mega-mixtures and Plentiful Potions. Pull that one."

I rose from the bed, still feeling a bit of numbness in my right arm. When I had gotten to the shelf, I started looking at the titles that started with the letter M. "Let's see... um... Ah!"

Pulling the book, it revealed a secret compartment that I suspected would be some sort of massive door. Instead, it was just a small portion of the bookshelf that mechanized and shifted to reveal a small square safe. "Next, you have to open the lock by inputting the correct combination."

I looked back over my shoulder. "That being?"

"Thirty-six, twenty-four and thirty-six."

Oh that's easy to remember. As turned the numeric dial I made sure to turn right, past the zero three times before stopping at the first number, followed by turning left a full revolution and moving towards the second number, and finally easing back towards the final number. As soon as the tumblers of the lock clicked and clanked, the safe door opened to reveal a small incision at the center. "I don't get it, what's with the hole?"

"Now, the finger I just enchanted, place it into that hole there. This is a special lock that only my magic can undo."

Must be one hell of a secret to have one individual's magic be the key to unlocking. Evidently, she's making sure that no one gets into this safe. Looking at my finger, I placed it into the hole. "Here goes nothing."

Instantly, the center of the entire safe glowed a bright blue and bells sounded as the two sides parted ways. The light that initially spilled forth was so bright, I had became blinded to what was in front of me. I had to shield my eyes for a second or two before the brightness cooled down. As my vision came into focus, I saw what rested within the confines of the level-three magic safe she used.

A brown teddy bear... You've got to be kidding me. All of that work for just a... You know, maybe it's best not to ask. I picked up the bear and brought it to the sun princess, who gave me a warm smile as she took her stuffed plush into her magical possession.

"Thank you. Mr. Huggles is my favorite companion for when I'm feeling down." She said as she gave the small bear a kiss on the forehead and proceeded to hug it as if it was her own child. In fact, she showed a rather innocent side to her as she seemed reminiscent of a child holding it's beloved toy.

There's no way...

No, no, just no. There are well over three-hundred billion stars in the Milky Way galaxy. There are just about that many star systems. There are numerous planets that are capable of sustaining life like Earth. There are probably several hundred planets that could possibly exist within our galaxy that has similar atmospheres as Earth. There are well over billions of lifeforms on one of those Terra spheres. And there are numerous species within those lifeforms. All of these scientific findings I will hold belief in, but there is one thing I will not accept for the sake of my personal health, and that is Celestia being the cutest being in existence right now.

The way her large lavender orbs glistened and glimmered as she showered the plush with kisses. The way her mane waived in the windless air, the way she cradled the brown bear as if it was her own flesh and blood. The squeaks of glee she gave off.

Too... much... cute...

Flopping carelessly back into her bed... God that's cute... She placed the covers back over her body. "That is all for now. I will summon you when I am in need of your company once more."

"Sure." She didn't seem satisfied with my response, as she gave me a pouted expression. Her lips puckered and she tried her best puppy dog impersonation. "What?"

"Please say it."

Um... I'd like to call a life line. "Say what?"

"Say my name."

WHEN NO ONE IS AROUND YOU, SAY BABY I LO-wait, why did that song just randomly play in my head? Either way, Beyonce was on the other end. That was more than enough of a hint. Swallowing whatever liquid that pooled in my mouth, I made sure that my throat was clear. I can't believe I was going to call on the Equestrian ruler on a first-name basis. "Okay, Celestia."

A frown showed upon her lips. "You seem uncomfortable with saying my name."

"I just have to get used to it. That's all. I understand that this won't be a casual thing we'll be doing whenever we see each other." I stated.

"Actually, since you will be with Twilight, as she refers to both Luna and me by our first names, I do request that our interactions are casual unless in times of emergency. But in the meanwhile, I'll call for you whenever I am in further need of your company."

"Gotcha. Celestia... Can I call you Celly sometimes?"

"A nickname? I suppose..." Something seemed to brighten up her entire complexion. The moment I called her that name, her facial features brightened to near-blinding levels. She showed her approval in the form of a warm smile.

"Please do!"

As I walked up to the door that lead to the princess' personal chambers, I suddenly felt my heart race at the sight of her door being slightly open. I don't remember me leaving that door open from my last visit about an hour ago. If anything, I always kept the door closed to prevent the disease from possibly spreading. I would be a major fault to that logic if it wasn't for the fact that I was incapable of catching diseases from equines in general. But those thoughts aside, I knew that there was trouble if this door was open. Placing a hand on my newly equipped broadsword, short sword by my standards, I walked into the room.

"You called?" I murmured out quietly while scanning the room for any possible disturbances. Thankfully, when I had walked over to the bed, I saw Celestia peacefully sleeping in her bed, clutching onto her teddy bear. I'm still in disbelief that she would have one of those.

"I guess she's out cold." I note to myself, relaxing the grip on my weapon. I suppose she must've dozed off from waiting on me. I shrugged my shoulders and started to walk out of the room. But what I had noticed greatly startled me. Instead of seeing the hallway as I should, the door was firmly closed. I quickly paced over to let myself out, finding that the door would not so much as budge.

"Okay. You don't lock from the outside. Why are you locking me in here?" I mumbled as I jiggled the handle of the door, hoping that I'd somehow convince it to let me through. While my frustrations started to build, I felt two hooves clench over my eyes.

"Guess who?"

"Ah!" I screamed, strafing myself away from the assailant and drawing my weapon. By the time my blade reached halfway out of it's sheath, I saw the solar princess shaking her head and laughing. "Oh, it's you."

"I figured that some of your friends would do that to you. So I decided to be one of them."

Well, that's a relief. I thought something might've happened to her or whether she was really sick. In speaking of which... "Why are you out of your bed?"

"I told you, if I was to be sick, then I wouldn't be for very long." She said as I sheathed my sword. The moment my weapon fell with a click, her golden magical aura surrounded my belt and relieved me of my weapon.

"And why are you taking that? I need that."

"Because I don't need you running around with sharp objects. You could easily hurt yourself."

First, I was trained to wield that. Second, I could've easily hurt you. But I guess that's all the more reason to strip me of my weapon. "Yes mother." I joked.

Celestia gave out a loud yawn as she started to stretch. The bones in her joints popped and cracked as she started to relax herself. "I've grown weary of the lack of company. If it's without consequence-"

I already knew what she was going to ask. "Sure, I'll stick around."

I took the moment to get comfortable. As I plopped myself on the side of her bed, she followed to join with me. "I've only gotten to know you from Twilight's letters, Luna's dream walks, and Cadance's conversations. I'd figure that I'd finally steal you away for a moment of your time."

"I guess it's really my fault. I'm not exactly the super-social type."

"Another thing you have in common with Twilight." She mumbled to herself.

"She told me about that, about how she was so caught up in her books."

"Some more than others."

I quirked an eyebrow with curiosity. "What do you mean?"

"In the years she was... discovering herself-"

Puberty. "I get where you're going with this."

"Even now, she could be walking down the hall and reading up on some juicy, explicit romance novel."

For some odd reason, Twilight reading porn does seem logical. It would help explain how she could find so many ways to turn me on or how many different methods she could use to tease me. "I didn't take her to be the romance-genre kind of girl. She seems more like a sci-fi enthusiast."

Celestia levitated a book from her shelf and started to flip through some of the pages as she spoke with me. "So what is your favorite genre? That is, if you read."

"I don't say I do, sadly. But I have read some stories with some rather intriguing characters, others with good writing, and a few with unimaginable world-building."

She stopped flipping through her book, slamming it closed as she turned her full-attention to me. "Care to name a few?"

"Well, there was a story I read by the name of Fahrenheit 451. In this story, there was a fireman who lived in a society where reading was forbidden. Everything was automated and done at the push of a button. But he didn't like how he was living his life in this boring world. He wanted something that his mind could expand upon. Thus, he performed the worst, unimaginable taboo."

The sun princess seemed rather invested in the small snippet of information I just gave her. She was literally on the edge of her seat. I see that she was just as much as a book enthusiast as Twilight was. "Oh dear. What did he do?"

"I couldn't tell you. Spoilers. You'd have to read the book for yourself."

Celestia groaned, giving me a playful shove. "That was just mean. To have me invested in such a story and you tell me to go read it for myself."

"Just think about it this way, if you want to know what he did, then you'd have to read the book."

She looked back to the book she still levitated beside her. "I'm afraid that there's no such book here in Equestria."

"Gotcha. I'll bring a copy back from my world." Although I'd have to rent it from Perry Castaneda Library. UT has a large selection of books to accommodate for the large student body.

The princess nodded her head in thankfulness. "My appreciation for you knows no bounds."

"Another story I liked, in terms of world building, was that of the Lord of the Rings series. It was set around a group of nine individuals, each with distinctive traits and personalities. The book gives you a good idea on what the world around it looked like, but I suggest if you don't feel like reading at the slow pace the story sets, then I'd advise you to see the movie."

The princess seemed very interested in the literature of my world. "Once again, we don't have that book."

"Again, I'll try to see if it's available at the library in my world. If not, then I'll just grab my dvd player and find a projector. We'll watch the movies instead." Not to mention, she would probably do both alongside Twilight anyways. At least it would give the two something to talk about.

"Do you know when you'll return to your own world to visit?"

You know, I have been wanting to take a trip back and grab some things. Maybe I could fit that in sometime next week. "Soon. That's about all I know. But I need to take care of some unfinished business here."

"I see. So, have you grown homesick?"

"I have. Not gonna lie. But if I had left this world for mine, I'd probably be even worse than I am now, considering I couldn't come back."

A faint smile started to form on her lips. "That's good to know. I find much jubilation in hearing that you enjoy staying here."

"You know, I've never gotten to know you outside of casual greetings and diplomatic meetings." It's true. Every time I see her, it was either for portal notifications, meetings in regard to my citizenship status or my approval process. Not once have I gotten the chance to sit down and speak with her one-on-one.

"So you have an interest in getting to know me as well?" She asked, seeming relieved that I also desired to get to know something about her. I guess being the ruler of a nation and not having anyone to talk to would be a bit distressing.

"I don't think you're the high-and-mighty ruler your peopl-erm... ponies see you as."

Celestia grew silent for a moment. It seemed that she was busy reflecting on something that either troubled her or seemed like it bothered her at one given time. Finally breaking the long silence, she spoke up. "It's been the same thing over and over for the past millennium or so. Even prior to my sister's exile, we have been referred to as the highest beings of this world, which we aren't."

"You're just like them." I summarized.

"Yes! That's correct. We smile, we dance, we laugh, we share, we cry, we become saddened, we experience love, and we experience heartbreak. Obviously, we harbor resentment and anger as well."

If there's any evidence to prove that, it would be the Celestial-Lunar rift. "If you felt any sort of resentment, what would it be for?"

"To be honest, I could say that it is because I have found love and lost, though I wouldn't call it resentment being that it's just a classic case of jealousy. Meanwhile, others have found their equal and could keep them close. I could only hold bits and pieces of the past, memories that were at first sugar-sweet which turned bitter over time."

"You found love?" I inquired, amazed that even someone that was so revered for so long, who lived for so many years, took the time to indulge in something so mundane as personal relationships.

"I was young and naive, ignorant to consequence. That's a story for another time."

"So, do you get jealous when you see Shining Armor and Cadance together?" I asked out of curiosity.

"I won't lie and say that I haven't felt envious of them."

And being that she envied intimate relationships to a small degree, I wouldn't be surprised that she felt some kind of way about the relationship between me and her prized pupil. "What about me and Twilight?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny my feelings towards you two."

I'll take that as a maybe. "Well, what do you feel about Twilight being in a relationship?"

I think that in the very moment she took a deep breath, I could see her very soul being exposed. For some odd reason, I saw the likeness of her being chained and tied in rusty, sharp wire that dug into her hide. I could see the pain she was experiencing, the pain of her past that still attached to her to this day. "I see her committing the same mistakes I once have. But with only one difference."

"And that is?" I questioned.

"I've long surrendered myself to the one I desired. I relinquished my virtue, my innocence, all because I longed to be loved again. This was shortly after I banished Luna."

A romance that was born out of her desire to feel a closeness that her younger sister could no longer provide. She thought that she could find someone to close that hole in her heart, but it only resulted in even more pain. That was something very intimate of her to reveal to me. It's probably for the best she doesn't go too much into detail. "Not even gonna ask."

"Why? I don't regret it."

But I will say this, she's very strong about how she carries that sin with her. Instead of sweeping it under the rug, she learns from it. But that does bring up the question of something that's been on my mind since this whole approval process thing started. "Then forgive me for asking, but why the stupid-ass law? Forgive the colorful vocabulary."

Oddly enough, she seemed used to my vulgarities. I guess Shining Armor swears up a storm around her too. "In truth, I didn't want any of my students, including Twilight, to make the same mistakes I once did."

"Which was?"

"I forsook the very fate of Equestria in hopes of gaining love. Instead, I gave all of me to him, knowing that we weren't meant to be. Afterwards, I was found out. I could no longer see him again, controversy ensued, even highly-ranked delegates from other nations received word of my folly. I was disgraced and called out of my name. After I finally admitted to my transgressions, things started to simmer down. All of this occurred and resolved itself within six months. For many years, I had a blemish to my name. But eventually, those who persecuted me, left this world as time took them from us. Meanwhile, I remained."

All of those who could challenge her testimony were doomed to die while she yet lived. "History is written by those who live to tell it."

She solemnly nodded. "Precisely."

"But you know that Twilight and I have been close. We wouldn't dare hurt each other." I said as she replaced the book she held to the shelf on the other side of the room.

"That is why I brought the citizenship papers to her, in hopes of giving her the one thing she desired."

Okay, that threw me off. When I had first seen the papers a few months ago, I was under the impression that Twilight had pulled the strings to get me to become a full-fledged citizen. But instead, it was Celestia the entire time. That just raises more questions. "But why? You could've just shipped me out and not worry about me anymore. Instead, you've-"

"And leave Twilight to resent me?" She looked at me with determination, a bitter scowl showed on her face as she spoke. "I won't condemn her as I once was. She has done too much for me to deny her what her heart longs for."

It seems to me that this was all for not only protecting her students, but also making sure that they led happy and successful lives. It does explain the part where there's the marriage shortly after the princess being disgraced and stripped of their title, it gives them a chance to live out their desires. She was forced to rule because there was no one else who was capable. Even now, the ponies hold her on such high ground she's unable to get close to anyone.

Popularity and power can be a very lonely road to walk.

"So... since then, you've been ostracized a bit, right?"

She smiled sadly, looking at me with kind eyes. "I've grown used to it."

That's something I'm not willing to allow. "Oh... hold on for a second."

I stood up from the bed, opening my arms and quietly stood in place. Meanwhile, Celestia stood at me with a blank expression on her face. "What are you doing?"

Mocking her tone, I spoke. "I'm merely being the friend in this situation. I'm sure that you know of the friendship custom of a mutual embrace, a hug if you will."

Her cheeks slowly transitioned from the ivory hue to a light shade of pink. I think this was the first time I've seen Celestia genuinely flustered. I guess that's my payback for earlier. "But... what if you get sick?"

Playing along with her statement, I started to take back my offer."...You know, you bring up a valid point. In that case, I guess it would be-"

Before I could finish my sentence, I felt nothing but the strong impact of another body crashing into mine. Her hooves clenched around my torso and waist as she nuzzled me. I returned the hug, making sure that I made up for every friend she couldn't make. The embrace we shared was passionate, but not to the degree of crossing the defined lines of friendship and into a more intimate affair. My hands rubbed against her coat, each hair tickling my fingers as I held on to her. My other hand could feel the lightness of her mane. It was oddly cold in comparison to her body. Her warmth nearly cooked me as she held me for a substantial amount of time. When she finally let go, I could see just how happy she was now that she could actually be herself around someone. Her lips curved into a beautiful beam. Her eyes twinkled, as much as it did when she held that teddy bear...

At last, it all made sense.

"Thank you so much."

I smiled right back. "Sure."

After we separated, she sniffled a little bit. "I feel much better now." She mused.

"Wait, what happened with the cold you had?" I asked, playing along.

"I may have feigned illness to spend an hour or two with you."

"It seemed pretty convincing."

We both shared a moment of laughter. I don't recall seeing her so carefree. I don't even think that anyone in the palace has seen her act like this. But it's relaxing to see that even the most stressed out being in the country could unwind for once.

Suddenly, she started to cough a little bit. "But in all honesty, I am still quite sick."

"Yeah, I know."

"But I will be better by tomorrow morning."

"That's good to know. Yet I would like to know how that is."

She simply shrugged. "Alicorn magic, it can even suppress illness."

Magic, it's the explanation for everything in this world. And I had none of it... "Right."

"Twilight was right about you. You really do care for others aside from yourself."

Though that came out of nowhere to me, I wasn't surprised that word of my 'accolades' in Ponyville have reached her ears. "It's no big thing."

She walked towards her bed, getting ready to lay herself back down. "I think I'm ready to make my decision on you."

"On me about what?"

She stopped herself short of covering herself as she spoke to me. "Surely you haven't forgotten your approval process?"

"Ohhh!" Like I could.

"I believe, as a surrogate mother, instructor and friend, that you'd be willing to take care of her, in sickness and in health. I can clearly say that I have been convinced. You have my vote of confidence."

"Well... damn. I don't know what to say." Except one thing... FUCK YEAH! I GOT ANOTHER VOTE!

"Whatever you desire."

And you lost me. What did you mean by whatever I desire? You know, I should really get my head out of the gutter. "Say what now?"

"I'm willing to give you a pass to request something of me. Although, if it has something to do with the punishment of Shining Armor, I have already decided all that he will have to endure."

I took a deep breath as the memories of basic training came to mind. "So you've heard of him?"

"I've watched when he threw my letter to the ground, the one stating the calculations for the time that was to be allotted for your physical endurance test. And after I investigated further, I found that he has been suppressing letters you've sent out. It goes without saying that he may have placed you out in front of your fellow peers."

So she really was in the observation deck the day of the physical evaluation. I can't believe he actually showed his ass in front of her and he didn't even notice it. Bet that made any argument he might've had completely invalid. "Yeah. But I have a different idea. I don't like holding grudges towards a person, nor do I like being unable to properly voice myself."

"You wish to omit him from punishment?" She asked, seeming baffled.

"I want you to give him a day off tomorrow." I said with a smug expression.

"But this doesn't make sense. Why?"

"Can we set something up for maybe three, tomorrow afternoon?"

"Like what?"

Clearing my throat and speaking slowly, I wanted to make sure that my words came out loud and clear. Celestia continued to stare at me puzzled while I merely grinned.

"Celestia, I hereby request a no-holds-barred duel with Shining Armor."

A dialog heavy chapter. Also, after the next chapter, I won't be updating this one throughout the month of October. I have another story that I was working on that I needed to update and be done with by Halloween (I'm doubting I will be done before then). But if I do finish before then or if inspiration drives me back here., I'll throw in an update. Thank you for your patience and I'm sorry that I haven't been updating like I should've. But I hope you've enjoyed the chapters I put out this past month.

Six weeks ago...
Week 4 of E.U.P. Basic Training

My body was a sore mess. I guess I might've started to push myself a little too much. Not only that, but I seemed to have been receiving less and less sleep due to my constant late-night workouts. Today, I just felt like a rock that was dropped in water. I'm being dragged down to the bottom and I'm not even getting a chance to breathe. Despite my starting get used to working out, there was one thing I would never be able to get used to; I'd never get used to a lack of sleep. I just hope that I don't fall asleep in the middle of this class.

"When a magical creature proves to be too powerful to engage with on your on, what would be an ideal choice on how you would handle the matter?" The instructor at the front of the class asked, causing a select few trainees to raise their hooves. "Private Highwind."

The pegasus that sat two chairs to my left stood up and gave the answer. "Sir, await for reinforcements."

"That is correct." The instructor called out. "The main reason why you wait for reinforcements is so that you may be able to apprehend the creature quickly, discreetly, and without incident. Furthermore, it cuts down on any potential accidents that would be a danger to you or your fellow guard. Now tell me this. When you are confronted by an individual who is an adept magic user, you do what?" The hooves took to the air once more as the instructor pointed to another one of the trainees. "Private Bolt."

The unicorn that sat four chairs in front of me stood up. "Sir, you neutralize the magic by deactivating their horn."

"Very good."

I heard a quiet giggle from the other side of the room. I knew that it was no matter of mine. I just wanted to close my eyes and rest a little bit. Besides, the lesson was something that we were going over for the third time this week. I had already retained enough of the information to not really pay that much attention to it anyhow.

My head rocketed back up from the desk as I instinctively spoke. "I'm awake." The room roared in giggles and snickers as the instructor at the front of the class eyed me almost into the desk again.

The instructor patiently tapped on his desk. "Okay, human. Since you're too busy sleeping in my class to think that these lessons are of little importance, tell me what the methods are to cancel out a unicorn's magic?"

Present Day...

"Celestia, I hereby request a no-holds-barred duel with Shining Armor."

The princess stared at me with complete shock written all over her face. For moments at a time, she attempted to find the words to say, but all that left her lips were weak squeaks and tiny puffs of air. Even her body struggled to convey her thoughts to me.

"Celly, what's wrong?"

Finally, she spoke for the first time in seconds. "Couldn't we propose something else? Something else that might satisfy you?"

"That is my only request. And it is the only one that I deem it to be satisfying enough for me." I answered.

Celestia rose out of her bed and walked towards me, eyeing me with concern. For a moment, she stood motionless, speechless as she looked at me. Eventually, she let words leave her lips. "I cannot allow it. Shining Armor is far too dangerous for you to challenge to a bout. Especially one such as, what you would consider it, a no-holds-barred contest."

"How so?" I asked.

"Shining is very powerful in his magic. Not only that, but he is very strong."

"Did he beat you in a hoof wrestling match?" I asked sarcastically.

"No, but-"

"Then he's not invincible. Therefore, I can still fight him."

Celestia took a deep breath as she placed a hoof on my shoulder. "Sweetie, honey, dearest... You're not going to win that contest unless you know how to fight against an adept magic user."

"Which I do-"

"Even then..." She interjected. "You would have to fight him in a contest of strength."

"I was trained to take on three guards at once. That was because Shining wanted me to feel as if I wouldn't be able to pass my training." I answered back.

"Nondis, you don't seem to understand. I've already dealt with him. He's being punished now and will be punished even further."

"And I'm saying that punishing him won't get it though his thick-ass skull that I'm a thing." I said, raising a fist and clenching it. "So even if I have to get my message to him that I'm going to be with Twilight via a fist to the face, then so be it. I refuse to have him wait around for the voting and let him disagree out of me just being an 'inferior species'."

"Nondis-"

"Celly, my species has killed more than the entire population of ponies that lives in Equestria to this day twelve times over. Your civil conflict ended with hoof-wrestling. My home country's civil conflict ended with casualties of over a million men. Six-hundred-thousand-plus men died on the front lines, four-hundred-seventy thousand returned to their homes broken, battered, disfigured, and dismembered. Four-hundred thousand were never found."

"Nondis!" Celestia shouted out, stopping my rant.

"Sorry... Got a little too graphic."

The large mare took a deep breath. "I know that our histories are different in comparison, but that doesn't mean that they haven't been free of bloodshed at any given point. I know too well of coping with those kinds of losses. We too have experienced our fair share of carnage."

"Then you would understand that negotiation is no longer a matter in the discussion between me and Shining."

Our quiet conversation had now become a full-fledged argument. Celestia no longer held back. "Then you would fight him, despite Twilight's innermost desire for you two to become friends?"

"There are things that just have to be done. I've been trying to avoid fighting him because of two reasons. The first was fear, I was scared to fight him because I didn't know how to fight at the time. The second was because Twilight would disapprove."

"Then why are you fighting him?" Celestia asked angrily.

"So that we can get our points across. At times, violence isn't the answer, but in this case it's the only alternative."

Celestia, in a fit of rage, stormed away from me and towards the window. "Why is it stallions have to be so confrontational?"

As she stood silently at the window, looking at the pair of birds sitting on the window seal, I slowly approached her and spoke with a lowered tone. "It's how we learn... I mean men... Look, males of any species are confrontational. It's what we're born to do. Instinct. We defend our families, ideologies, and religious beliefs. We fight each other for dominance, land, resources, and rights. We challenge one another for respect and sometimes for fun. It's how we learn."

The two birds flew off into the distance, zipping freely across the Canterlot skyline. Celestia watched in sadness as the two creatures took their departure. "It's also how the young are denied their future."

I think that she was looking at the birds a little too much. Either that or this conversation was going someplace that I was not intending for it to go. "Whoa, hold on there. We're not talking about a war. We're talking about a simple spar."

She turned to me with a worried look in her eyes. "A spar that could easily become just as violent."

"Anything I so desired. Those were the terms of your promise to me."

She sighed, regretting that she ever said those words. "I admit to saying those things, but-"

"Then please hear me out. I want to do this. I know that Twilight won't approve of it, but this is no longer about her. This is between me and Shining Armor."

She stopped for a moment to think. "Is there any way that I can convince you to possibly reconsider?"

It was now my turn to place my hand on her shoulder. After I extended myself to her, she looked to me as I spoke. "You'd probably see this as revenge for everything, from A to Z... It kinda is, but it isn't at the same time."

`Her ears folded, as did her resolve for a peaceful solution. Her head bowed as she finally gave in to my request. "At least you are honest. Very well then, I will give you what you desire, under one condition."

"And that is?"

"You're WHAT!?"

"Yeah. I'm doing it."

"Can I just reiterate? WHAT!?"

Rainbow Dash hovered in mid-air as she continued to express her disbelief of my statement. So I decided to re-announce my intentions. "I told you, I'm challenging Shining Armor to a duel tomorrow afternoon at three."

"Rookie... ugh..." The cyan pegasus slowly brought a hoof to her face as she took a long sigh. "You don't start a fire on the first day on the job."

"Look, It's for a good reason." I argued.

"You're really asking for it."

I threw my arms up in the air in a fit of frustration . "Why is it that no one's listening to me?"

"Uh, maybe because the dead don't talk."

"I'm not dead."

Rainbow rolled her eyes at me. "You're gonna be if you challenge Shining Armor."

"What's that I've been hearing about?" A third scratchy feminine voice called out from nowhere. We both turned around to see a yellow pegasus walking towards us. She sported a fiery orange and yellow mane and wore an aerial combat uniform with a pair of aviators hanging off of the front pocket. As she approached us, Rainbow Dash gave her a salute. Not wanting to be rude, I followed suit as the pegasus raised her greeting in return.

"Captain, how you've been?" Rainbow asked as she lowered her hoof.

"I've been in better spirits, but congratulations on your promotion, Rainbow Dash. Staff Sergeant seems like a good fit for you." The mare said with a smirk.

"Well, I was wanting to go a little higher than this." Rainbow retorted, seeming her usual cocky self.

"So what's this about a challenge to Shining Armor?"

Rainbow flew beside me and gave me a playful shove. "Rookie here, he doesn't know what he's talking about. He's different, you know-"

"Actually, I've been hearing that Shining is getting the day off tomorrow."

"WHAT!?" Rainbow shouted in disbelief. I guess my request was more than acknowledged. Wow, word sure does travel fast.

The yellow pegasus turned to me, extending a hoof to me. "So you're gonna be the guy to try and take Captain Armor down a few pegs? You've got some serious balls."

Returning the hoofshake, I accepted the compliment. "Uhh... thanks... Captain?" I trailed off into a question. Unfortunately, I was not given a name for her.

"Oh yeah, guess it's rude not to introduce myself. Name's Spitfire, Captain of the Aerial Defense Division and Captain of the elite flying squadron known as the Wonderbolts. Maybe you've heard a thing or two about it."

"I know that Roy G. Biv here has been wanting to get in for a while." Rainbow seemed annoyed at the nickname I gave her. Meanwhile Spitfire laughed a little at my comment.

"Hey Dash, I need you to give this report to Soarin. How quick do you think you can get it done?" The yellow pegasus named Spitfire questioned as she pulled out an envelope with a lightning bolt seal emblazoned upon it.

"Be back in a sec." She answered, not even sparing a second after her sentence to take to the sky in a flash of several colors. Spitfire then turned her attention back to me.

"You're really going through with challenging Shining, huh?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Just curious, you know."

"That's not the entire story, is it?"

Spitfire seemed to question my appearance as she took the time to look me up and down. "Well, there's been some paperwork signed and I just so happen to be the referee. Care to tell me how somepony like you could beat the Captain of the Royal Guard?"

"I can't say. I'm just gonna wing it... no offense."

The yellow pegasus shrugged. "None taken."

"So you're looking over the match?" I inquired.

"Just to make sure that you don't die or something."

I took a moment to chuckle at her response. "Well I won't be doing any of that."

"Hey, do your best. Knock it out of the park. If you last more than two minutes, I'll be impressed." Once more she extended her hoof to me.

"Thanks." And similar to last time, I returned the friendly gesture.

"And if you beat him, then I might just have to challenge you to a match." Suddenly, it seemed that she wasn't as willing to break off our little exchange. Instead, it seemed that she had started to force herself a little more onto me.

"Heh heh... What kind of match?" I asked nervously, still feeling my hand being pressed against.

"I don't know, something like who can last the longest. A contest of endurance."

"Oh... well-" She could mean anything by that. I mean hell, she could be talking about who could run laps around the city, right? I'm pretty sure that the statement was nothing of the sexual nature. Once again, I had to get my head from the gutter.

Spitfire closed in on me and flew mere inches away from my face as she whispered to me slowly and seductively, licking her lips as she spoke. "I not an easy mare. And I don't do speed runs. I like... strenuous activity, long shifts, and thick skin with a rigid personality."

OH BOY! "Weeeellll thennn...."

I felt a hoof brush against my chest as she drew her muzzle to my ear. "And I like my rewards to be plentiful.... and in copious amountssss."

Just like the extended time she took to carry out her 's', her words burned against my ear as she gave me a playful lick against my earlobe. STRANGER DANGER! "Gotta go!"

Without a second to reflect, I darted away from the promiscuous mare and ran for the halls. Granted, she was hot... too hot... I didn't want to accept her invitation, no matter how attractive it seemed like. As I ran down the hall, she called back out to me.

"Best of luck at the match tomorrow, rookie! You'll be needing it."

Throughout the rest of my day, I carried on with my duties, including a few more visits to the cold-stricken princess. I think that she's starting to recover from the illness already. Then again, alicorn magic is some of the most potent magic in existence, so I'd expect it to work miracles whenever it came to a health issue.

I ran into Spitfire once after our initial meeting. I had paid a visit to a local diner and finished my meal when she came flying down from above. Needless to say she was emphasizing her proposal from earlier. Had I known that she was so hell-bent on taking me into the bathroom and sharing her talents with me, I would've avoided the eatery altogether. But it couldn't be helped, I graciously declined her offer and took my leave.

On my way out, I felt something stuck in my teeth and journeyed to a nearby dental office. I walked in and requested a box of dental floss, preferably mint-flavored. Unfortunately, all they had was the wax kind. Just another thing to throw my day off. As soon as I walked out, I was digging around in my mouth to relieve myself of any food between my teeth. It's just too bad that I had to be tasting the bitter wax coating rather than coping with a more pleasant flavor... But then again, I have an idea on what I could do with this.

Shortly after my shift had ended, I was given the go-ahead to retire to my apartment. Thankfully, that promiscuous captain was nowhere to be seen. After a few more minutes of getting myself prepared and boiling the wax flavor off of my floss, I started to get myself ready for bed. I was more than making sure that my windows were locked. I didn't need any unexpected, fiery-maned rapists breaking into my room, fondling and watching me as I sleep.

After closing my eyes for a brief second, I awoke to the ringing of my alarm clock. I came out a little groggy, but extremely determined. It was like I had a drive to do just about anything. Of course I knew the main reason why I felt as if I could take on the whole world. So I got out of my bed, took my shower, dressed myself, grabbed the dental floss and made my way towards the lobby for breakfast.

Today, I was given the assignment to escort Princess Cadance and her party to the castle. Though I was more than curious as to why Shining couldn't escort his wife rather than me. I guess he was too busy punching sandbags with my face drawn on them to escort his beloved to the castle. I suppose on a day like today I would've done the same, considering how much we both wanna punch each other's lights out.

When I had arrived at the train station, I found that Cadance was waiting patiently on me. It goes without saying her party consisted of familiar faces. Twilight and Cadance talked amongst each other as Rainbow Dash hovered right beside them. Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack and Spike came along for the visit. What caught me off guard was the two additional visitors that stood beside their better halves. Discord stood beside Fluttershy while Cheese Sandwich worriedly stood beside a saddened Pinkie.

"Hey guys!" I spoke out. The group then turned to me, a wave of silence washing over them as I approached. "What's going on?"

Twilight teleported from where she stood to scream in my face, getting closer with each word. "You're... challenging... MY BROTHER!?" She questioned lividly. If it wasn't how she suddenly screamed in my face, I'd say that she was really pissed off at me.

"Well, I wouldn't call it a challenge... It carries the same properties as a challenge but it's not a challenge." I stated with sarcasm.

"What were you even thinking!? Shining Armor is going to be released from his punishment with even more ammo to throw at you!" Twilight warned.

Cadance walked beside the infuriated purple princess. "Nondis dear, do you not know what the repercussions of challenging my husband would bring you?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. Which is why I choose to do it." I admitted boldly.

"Call it off!" Twilight argued, jumping the gun on Cadance.

"I can't, it's already set."

Rarity came from behind the girls as she also tried to convince me to withdraw. "You can pull out now while you still have the chance. There's no need to get into any sort of unnecessary conflict."

Applejack followed suit. "Ya don't need to prove nothin' to nopony. Jus' make the smart choice an' walk away from it all."

"It would be a lot easier and a lot more peaceful." Fluttershy advised.

Cheese stood forward this time, meeting me face to face. "Yeah. Think about the conflict you and I had. Can't you two just talk it out?"

I gave myself some breathing room as I started to become the center of attention. "That's the problem. He's been doing most of the talking. His only terms is that he wants me to leave Twilight."

I felt a hoof touch my shoulder. Without turning around, I could hear the flapping of Twilight's wings. "I can accept that he's not willing to acknowledge us. I've decided to move past that. Now why is it that you can't do the same?"

"You know why, Twilight." I wanted to get past this rut. If Shining and I can't duke it out now, then the situation would only fester into something extremely unhealthy. Not just to our relationship, but to Twilight's health. The stress of pulling family members together is nothing to joke about. That shit could actually kill you in time.

"Please, just leave it behind us." She pleaded.

"And leave him and you apart?" Because that's what he would ultimately do. I don't want to be held responsible for the bonds between her and her older brother to suddenly diminish.

"...That's not the point."

"That's the only point. If we go through us being on even terms, I'd honestly think you'd grow to resent your older brother." And that would lead to some really unfortunate circumstances. Especially considering that they were both royalty, this had to be nipped in the bud.

"I'd much rather resent him for that than to resent him hurting you or you hurting him."

I'm not changing my stance on this. I don't even see why she's even trying at this point. "Twilight, this is just how it's gonna be."

"Rainbow darling, can't you talk some sense into him?" Rarity asked as she turned to the rainbow-maned pegasus.

"Tried already. It seems the only way it's gonna get through his thick skull is if Shining leaves his hoofprints inside of it."

I turned back to the duo that continued to talk about me. "I can handle this-"

"You're so dense." Those words, they not only sound familiar but they came from the same source. "You're really doing this all over again, fighting battles that you don't have to fight, getting scars and bruises that you don't need to get because of somepony else. You try to play 'hero' but you get hurt instead."

"But that was last time." And I couldn't even hold my fists up right. I was in a situation that I had little knowledge of and no training in how to deal with it.

Pinkie let her anger show. At least her mane was still poofy in comparison to the deflation it would normally have. "Last time, I held on to you when my sisters brought you into my room. Last time, I cried over every bruise on your body, regretting that I was the cause of your injuries. So what now, you're gonna put Twilight through that same stress?"

"Things are different."

"No they aren't!" The pink party pony argued.

"Yes they are!"

"Non-non... look at Twilight. Would you really put her through that pain again?"

I took a moment to look at the mare that held onto my shoulder, who's been holding on for this entire conversation. I could see the disappointment in her eyes as she stared back at me. But this was something that I already decided that would be for myself. If she wanted to fight about it, we'll have that discussion on a later date. I respected her, I adored her, I'd do anything to make her happy in the long-haul, even if it means to ignore her immediate gratification. With a deep breath and a determined mind, I gave my answer. "...Yes. Because my heart tells me to fight this battle."

"Don't fight for me. Please." Twilight begged.

"You just wait and see." As much as it hurts me to see her unhappy, I knew that this would work out for the future.

"You don't have to do this."

"I do. I want to do this and I have to." Because I'd much rather see you sad for a day than to let you live years on end with that very same sadness.

"What is it you're trying to prove?"

In my mind, I let myself relive the events of the day when she and I were about to share her bed, when her brother came in and shouted at me for what we were about to do. The words that left my lips and left a long-lasting impression on her brother's mind... A perspective I was more than willing to change, that I had to change.

There was only one thing that I wanted to prove. "That I'm good enough."

When we arrived at the palace, the group took their separate ways from me. The only thing that seemed to be on my mind at that point was the duel that would take place in about thirty minutes. Honestly, I was wanting to get it over with. I knew that I would be at a disadvantage so I had to make preparations for what was to come. Unfortunately due to time constraints, I would have to finish my preparations on the way there.

As I walked down the hall, I began to tape my hands for protection. I knew it was a hassle to pull off on my own, but considering that I was in a society that wasn't exactly accustomed to living with hands, I took the risk. After I finished tackling one hand I moved on to the other. Fifteen minutes later I was standing outside the door, finishing up my wrap. Drawing my sword, I started to check if I still had the functionality for gripping and swinging.

So far so good.

After a few more swings, I sheathed my weapon and started to prep myself for upcoming duel. Tip-toeing and bouncing, I simulated the circumstances of if I was to lose my weapon. As I threw a few punches, I could hear the sound of hooves clopping towards my direction. Looking out the corner of my eye, I could see who it was.

"Princess Cadance, I guess you're here to-"

The pink princess stopped my aerial jabs with her magic, holding me in place. "Look, I don't know when Shining's coming by here, but I am begging you. For your own safety, please call off this match."

Trying to free my hand from the blue, watery aura, I yanked and pulled my arm a bit. "I'll be fine. Really."

Cadance took the time to walk in front of me, still holding my hand in midair. "No, you'll be hurt. Really."

"I can handle a punch or two. No problem." Hell that's always been the case, both pre and post-training.

"No, that's not what I'm talking about. A no-holds barred means that nothing is restricted and the results could possibly become fatal. You could be seriously injured, your career as a guard could be very short-lived, and Twilight wouldn't want to see you like that."

Although I could see her reasons for concern, especially considering that she hasn't heard very much of what all had transpired in the course of my training, I chose to ignore her plea. "I'm not going to be like that so it doesn't matter. Not only that but Shining wouldn't want me dead anyways."

"You don't know that. That's why you have to call this thing off. It's too dangerous." She advised, finally letting go of my hand.

"Cadance, I'm perfectly-"

"You're in trouble now!" I heard another voice shout from down the hall. I turned to see that it was two other guards, followed by my opponent. "Talking with the Captain's wife behind his back? That's a big no-no."

Cadance, walked over to her husband, trying to get him to stop. "Cadie, what are you two talking about?"

"We were-" Before I could even finish, Cadance spoke for me.

"Talking about how he wanted to call off the challenge, how this was a huge misunderstanding."

The unicorn captain cut his eyes at me, giving me that all-too familiar cold glare. "Cadance, I don't think that a request made to Princess Celestia herself can be considered as a misunderstanding."

"It's a misunderstanding on his part." She argued.

By this point, I started to walk towards him. "I'm not misunderstanding shit."

Shining moved past his wife, walking towards me in response. "So, you really do have the guts to stand up to me?"

"Much like you don't have the sack to walk into that room and go against me." By the time I finished my sentence, we were standing a few feet away from each other.

"You know, I think that your training had made you a little cocky. Why don't I turn that down for you?" He said as he started to walk even closer, pointing his horn at me.

Taking a few more steps forward, I touched the tip of his horn and redirected it elsewhere. "How bout you point that thing somewhere else before it get's broke."

"You talk really big. I think you're scared of me."

"If I was scared of you, then I wouldn't be standing here. This isn't just about Twilight anymore. It's to the point where it's personal between us."

Less than a foot stood between us. I don't think I could express how much I wanted to pummel him into the ground. "I don't think you understand your place."

Then again... "I don't think you understand just how punchable your face is right now." That sounds just about right.

The captain inched closer, whispering to me. "Go on, touch it."

"Alright boys, you two can kiss each other in the grand hall." And then our stare down was then replaced by mental imagery of us two sharing... I don't even wanna imagine that. We both turned to our referee, giving her a disapproving glance.

"No thanks." I blurted out.

"I don't swing that way." Shining said. At least we were already starting to agree on something.

"Too bad, would've loved to see you two go at it." We both looked at each other and shuddered as we backed away. Spitfire chortled and continued speaking. "Well in that case, let's get moving since you two seem so impatient to go at each other's throats."

Spitfire opened the door and guided us inside. Shining and his wife entered before me. Aside from passing extremely nasty looks to the yellow pegasus, she turned back to me and whispered as she walked past. "I gave you a chance."

Following his wife, Shining whispered to me as well. "You should've took up Cadie's offer."

While I gave myself a suitable amount of spacing, I returned a statement to my opponent. "If training has ever taught me anything, it's that I don't take the easy-way out."

"That's fine and all, but now you're in stallion territory." He mumbled back to me.

"And I'm gonna teach you the ways of a man's world. We ride asses like you." I rebutted.

As soon as we entered into the room, We walked past a crowd of guards clad in armor as they all stood around an empty portion of the floor. The space designated was more than enough to give any stallion the room to launch attacks, take to the air and fire bolts of magic, which I had a feeling he was going to do at one given point. But as a saving grace, they did provide us with four pillars to take cover behind. It also seemed that the area had some sort of enchantment, given the strange runes encircling the area. I guess they want to make sure that nothing gets damaged. When we walked into the open area, we took separate sides of the circle. Meanwhile, Spitfire flew into the center of the ring and announced us to the crowd of ponies.

"Attention everypony, guards and patrons alike. We are here to bear witness to a match unlike any other in all of Equestria's founding. To one side, there is the Captain of the Royal Guard, Prince of the Crystal Empire, husband to Princess Cadance and brother to Princess Twilight Sparkle, Canterlot's very own: SHINING ARMOR!"

The crowd erupted into cheers and dog calls. Even some of the mares in attendance cheered so loud that Cadance, who was sitting on the elevated platform in the back where the thrones sat, clenched her jaw with envy. I guess she doesn't like her husband being called on by other mares. Who could blame her?

"And to this side, we have a unique challenger to the captain. Instead of hooves, he will fight with his own two hands and race on his own two feet. From a far away land in a world unknown to us, he joins our ranks to defend our country. Our newest addition to the E.U.P. Guard: NONDO!"

And she got my name wrong. "NON-DIS!" I corrected as loud as I could.

"Sorry, NONDIS!"

I didn't hear as much cheering as before. In fact, I heard maybe a pony or two clop their hooves and root me on while the room sat in silence. I guess I'm really the underdog here.

"Princess Celestia, do you have something to say before the match commences?" The referee called out as Celestia sat on the throne to my left. Both Shining and I turned to her as she unfurled her wings and spoke out to the crowd.

"The rules are as followed, when one can no longer stand of his own volition, the other is to cease all hostility. Any further assault will be dealt with in a swift manner. If one becomes wounded to the point where they can no longer fight, competition shall be decided in favor of the one who still stands. If there is any intent to fatally wound one another, the match will result in an automatic forfeit, declaring the lesser aggressor to be the victor..." I saw her take a glimpse at me followed by another at Shining Armor. It seems that his vision was locked on me the entire time. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and left her statements to that. "That is all I have to say."

I turned my attention back to my opponent. Suddenly Twilight interrupted the match. Stepping forward, she raised her voice at the two of us. "I don't want you to do this, either of you. I humbly ask that the two of you withdraw from this competition at once. Over time, I have seen the two of you fight and argue. I don't want this. I just... I just want you two to get along." I turned back to the purple princess who stood forward with ears folded down out of sadness. "Is that too much to ask?" She inquired in a quiet voice.

For a moment, the room seemed so quiet, you could hear a snail crawl past you. But that silence didn't last for long as Shining Armor immediately voiced his opinion. "As a challenge to my honor, I am unable to comply with that request."

My mind snapped back to what I had to do right now. In front of me stood a stallion who made his intentions clear. However, I felt something was... off. He gave me numerous reasons of why he disliked me being with Twilight, but I could tell that's not where his anger ends, or begin for that matter. Even before I was caught with Twilight, he and I were on good terms. Whenever he had the time, he would spend it with both me and Twilight without so much of a complaint. He would share jokes and both Twilight and I would laugh at them. He was even my escort to and from court back when I had that case against Caramel.

Now, he despises me. He wants me to look somewhere else. He can't stand spending time with me and Twilight simultaneously. There's no way he was telling me the whole truth. I've gotten his reasons for why he couldn't see us together, but what about the reasons why he didn't trust me? It bothered me since I made the decision to stay here.

This fight was my answer, and I was going to get it, even if I have to beat it out of him. "What he said."

Spitfire nodded in approval. "Okay, so it seems that our combatants are both willing to get this thing started. You both heard the rules, if one of you goes down, you give them the chance to stand back up. If one of you tries to kill the other, you will be disqualified. If one cannot carry on, then the battle goes to the last one left standing. Got it?"

Shining brushed a hoof against the ground, seeming as if he was ready to charge at me. "Copy that."

I held my fists into a defensive stance, squaring my shoulders and bracing my feet for whatever he may throw at me. Bouncing around, I felt the adrenaline rushing through my veins. "Loud and clear."

"Well then... COMBATANTS TO YOUR MARKS!"

While I shuffled my feet, I tried to drown out the cheers set against me. I knew that I wouldn't be expecting anyone to be rooting for me in this instance.

"Give him hell, captain!" One stallion yelled out.

"Show 'em who's boss." Another hollered to my opponent.

"Put him in his place!" Yet another guard shouted loudly.

I clenched my teeth and readied myself to go on the offensive. I had to strike first if I was going to stand a chance in this battle, let alone win. Suddenly, I became distracted by a few outspoken voices in the crowd.

"Nondis, you can do this!" I recognized that voice, it was Rarity's.

"Give em hell, rookie!' That was Rainbow Dash cheering me on.

"Put up a good fight, ya hear!?" Even Applejack threw her lot on me.

I felt more confident than before. To hear those few still rooting for me gave me the morale to stand up and fight. Then again, it was far too late to back down. I was past the point of stopping, and I was eager to keep going, just to see what I would run into. But I heard another set of voices discouraging me from this fight.

"Don't do this, Non-non!" Pinkie hollered.

"I can't watch!" Fluttershy whimpered.

"..." I can already assume that Twilight has already spoken her peace. She wasn't going to root for either side. Both sides of this fight were ones that she was either for or against. She stood in silence, her words snuffed out by her unwillingness to root on either party.

"Odds are placed at seven to one!" And of course Discord would be the main one to start a gamble on the fight.

"Come place your bets!" I'm not even surprised that Spike was helping out. He was just enjoying the view, though he did shy at a rather angry glance from Twilight.

"FIGHTERS, READY!"

My heart started to pound at an elevated pace. My breathing became clear and open. My body felt light as my fists started to take in the weight. My feet shuffled as I bounced back and forth. My fists clenched tightly as I drowned out every last bit of sound. My vision locked onto the magenta blur in front of me...

Magenta?

"...ACTION!"

By the time Spitfire took to the air, a bolt of magic barreled towards me, I jumped to my right, avoiding the blast and looking back to a grinning Shining Armor.

"Oh fuck you!" I screamed to him, angered that he would resort to magic beams as his first move.

"No holds barred, remember?" He quoted as he shot another beam of magic at me.

With every beam he shot, he drove me further away from him. Dipping and diving, I ducked and dodged the incoming bolts. He remained relentless in his attack as I was forced to be on the defensive. I couldn't lay a blow on him if I couldn't get within range. Hopping and hobbling, I found shelter behind a nearby pillar. Standing behind the marble column, I panted from the immense amount of dodging I had to do. I opted to peek out from the side, but another bolt stopped me from doing just that. When I thought about peeking out to my other side, Shining beat me to the punch, firing another blast past me. I was trapped for the time being.

"Quit hiding you coward!" One guard heckled at me.

"Get back out there and fight!" Another shouted to me.

"Not so cocky now, are ya?" A third shouted as I watched another series of bolts whiz past me.

There was no way I was going to come from behind this pillar until I had an opportunity to strike.

"Shining, that's enough!" Twilight screamed to her brother, who only ignored her.

Cadance looked at me with disappointment that I didn't back out of this sooner. Meanwhile, Twilight was tapping at her former instructor. "Celestia, make them stop!"

Celestia did nothing as she watched the match go down. "If this is the only way they can communicate with one another, then let them speak."

"This isn't communication, this is just wrong!"

Celestia watched as Shining Armor blasted the pillar repeatedly. "I think there's more to it than what you and I may see for ourselves."

"No there isn't!" Twilight argued, starting to become worried of how I was holding up.

Celestia started to share the same sympathy, looking to me with uncertainty. She hoped that I knew what I was doing. "There must be. Otherwise..."

The blasts stopped for a short period of time. I've been hiding behind this pillar for a significant period of the match. But now, I was going to have to do something to get myself out of this mess. I slowly crept my head around the pillar, only to meet with a flash of magenta. I immediately pulled my head back in and watched the bolt breeze by me. That was too close.

"See? Even my little sister thinks you're clearly outmatched. You're hiding behind a pillar while I'm shooting at you from way across the room. If that isn't cowardice, then it's surely convincing me that you're ill-prepared to protect anyone." In speaking of close, Shining's voice sounded a lot closer than I thought. Maybe he was just buying his time to finally land some physical blows. So he lured me here so that I couldn't get the chance to escape. Meanwhile, he would fire bolt after bolt of magic to keep me hidden behind this pillar as he got closer.

"Really? Cut that magic off and you'll see just how prepared I am to kick your ass." But being that he got closer, he had to take more time to aim for the sides. If he wasn't careful, then he would leave me with an opening to make a dash for another pillar, and then he'd have to start all over again. He was waiting for me to make my moves now. If I peeked out, he would fire away. If I'd poke a hand out, he'd take it out. I'm left with very little margin for error.

"You'll have to get close first." He taunted.

"Then quit projectile-spamming, you cheating fuck!" I shouted out of frustration.

"No holds barred!" He shouted back, firing two more bolts, to either side.

When he fired the two bolts, I had realized that he made a crucial mistake. To fire the two bolts, it would require a charge of one to carry out both attacks. If he saved some of his energy to blast me a second time, then that meant that he would have to charge again for two more. Not only that, but since he's dividing the magic, then the knock-back it would produce would be half of that of a normal blast, making it significantly weaker.

That's my opening.

After he fires the first shot, he immediately covers himself to the other side. By the time he releases that second bolt, I could run from the side where he launched the first shot and close the distance between us. That would cause him to panic and throw his aim. If he throws his aim, then he'd be wide open for an attack. This means only one thing: his strategy is ineffective at close-range.

It's my turn.

The first bolt blasted by me to my left. As soon as it passed, I dashed out to meet him head on. By the time he fired the second bolt of his magic, I was already closing in on him. As predicted, he panicked, throwing off his aim. He didn't have enough time to charge his magic and fired a weak bolt at my left leg.

"Gaaargh!" My entire leg went numb, causing me to fall from the unexpected feeling of my leg disappearing from underneath me. After tumbling forward, I was brought to a halt not even a foot away from Shining's hooves.

"So... you finally learned your place?" He asked as he looked down on me with disdain.

"Yeah... I've learned my place..." I whispered to him. Meaning that my leg was numb didn't mean that I couldn't move it. I had to convince myself that it was still there. Though it would affect me every time I'd run or jump, I could still fight. Leaping to my feet, I shot my hand at Shining and clenched onto his horn. I pulled at him using my right hand and removing something from my back pocket with my left. I circled his horn with the substance and leapt off of him, finally done with the first phase of my plan. "On top of your sister."

As soon as the insult left my mouth, he shoved me off of him. Angry, he stared at me with a hatred so deep that he could decimate me on the spot.

"You little son of a bitch!" He screamed as he lowered his horn and charged for another spell. But something was wrong. "My magic... what happened to my-" And just like a lighter without fluid, his horn flickered at the base and went out. "What did you do to me?"

I started to laugh as I held out a pack of dental floss in my left hand. "Two things." I said as I pointed at him. "First, I neutralized your magic by deactivating your horn. As long as my hand can come into contact with your horn, I can cut your spells short. And to add to that, I further deactivated your magic by giving your horn a sealing compound. Just last night, I spent some of my time boiling and soaking my dental floss in brine water."

A look of horror began to show on his face. "Brine water!? That means-"

"You guessed it. All sealing items used to cut off the magical capabilities of a unicorn are made with one chemical compound in general; they're made with sodium chloride, table salt."

"You-"

I held up a second finger. "Second, I chose dental floss because of it's small size in comparison to sealing rings, which can be forced off with enough willpower and a little elbow grease. Instead, you have hooves that are too big and clumsy to accurately pick off thin materials such as thread, spider webs, fishing wire, and dental floss, all of which requires your magic to remove. And do I need to go into detail about the little grooves in your horn?"

Shining clenched his teeth as he realized that his magical assault was no longer a viable option. He then drew his sword in his teeth. "Clever bastard."

Tossing aside the floss, I drew mine in return. Now we were on even footing. "Again, natural selection states that a species learns to adapt, overcome, mate, reproduce, and repeat. Humans have been getting this shit done for well over fifteen thousand years. We're seven billion strong! It's in our blood, fucker! Rules of nature!"

He and I charged at each other, swords drawn. When we drew close, our blades crossed for the first time in the match. He spoke as he held his blade to mine. "So you can think on your feet, big deal! That doesn't prove anything against the strength of a stallion!"

I scoffed at his prideful comment and parried his blade away from his body. I was left with an opening. Switching the sword to my left hand and cocking my arm back, I brought my right fist to his face. I landed a solid blow against his left cheekbone. Executing on the follow-through, he was pushed back, still clenching his sword. I smiled as I settled for second blood. "Told you your face was punchable!"

Shining looked at me, only this time he carried the intention to kill. Galloping at me, he raised his sword at me and stood on his hind legs to cut me down from above. I raised my weapon to shave his weapon off of me. As his came into contact with mine, I felt a strong impact reverberate through the weapon and into my arms. The shock was so great that it knocked my blade away. The sound it produced was similar to a hammer striking against an anvil. Reeling back, I clenched my hand as I waited for the pain to subside. He laughed back at me. "I told you that you can't match to a stallion's strength! Who do you think you are!?"

"You must be real insecure when it comes to your little sister! Just what are you scared of!?" I asked as I started to recover from his attack.

Shining ran at me again, sword brandished and seeking blood. "I told you, you need to back off! I can find her somepony much better than you!"

I switched my weapon to my right hand again. Our swords clattered and clanged as we both took blows at each other. "Yeah, I have my flaws. I'm different, but does that make me any worse than what other choice you may have?"

His blows started to become even more ferocious. "It's because you're different! I can't trust you to protect her!"

My strikes started to become even more aggressive and frequent. "Why is that!?"

"You say that your species is strong, yet I've only seen weakness from you! You can't even handle a simple thug!"

Backing off, I settled for defense, allowing myself to seek an opening. I parried a majority of his slashes and dodged all of his thrusts. Our blades locked for a while before he started to turn towards my lower half. I backed away and avoided a critical blow, but ended up getting sliced on my numb leg. Despite my not feeling the pain, I knew it would become a serious distraction if my leg started getting it's feeling back. After surveying the damage, I decided that the blood I would lose would not be a serious factor due to how shallow the wound was. I stood back up to my feet once more.

"I didn't know how to defend myself at the time. I didn't know how to fight, the only thing I knew how to do was stand up for something that was right."

"Then why are you still standing!?" He angrily charged at me.

"Because I'm standing for what I think is right!" My sword parried off a few more of his blows before we became locked with one another.

"You're no different from any tail-chaser running around town! You think that you can simply win me over just for appearing different and saying you are!? That's all the more reason I can't trust you!" He screamed as he lashed at me another time, leaving me with another opening. This time, I took to the offensive and drove him back. I pressed forward, causing him to go on the defensive. I made sure that my strikes were aimed for his legs. I needed to slow him down. But after yet another step forward, my fears came to fruition.

I backed off as I started to feel my left leg again, only this time I felt an intense pain shoot throughout my body. That annoying gash in my leg was causing me a great deal of pain as I started to hobble and limp. "I'm not those fuckers that sacked the city, so you can take your shitty view of me and chew on it!"

"I'm not going to watch as my little sister is sent off to someone who is weaker than her, who hasn't been through much of anything like she has!" He ran up to me at full-speed, sword in tow.

"Oh, so now it's about strength!?" I threw my guard back up to deflect his blow.

"IT'S ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT THAT!" He angrily struck at me as I guarded with my sword. This time, the shockwave that traveled through my arm was so great, I heard a grisly crack in my left arm. The pain caused me to become angry. The adrenaline in my system pushed me to fight within an inch of my life. Abandoning the sword, I gave the stallion my best shot at the center of his muzzle. He tried to ducked in an attempt to avoid it, but instead, left his forehead wide open to the hit. My fist became well-acquainted with the base of his horn, causing splinters of the bone to fly in several directions. Blood began to flow down Shining's face. With a painful roar, Shining jumped back and dropped his sword as he screamed in discomfort.

I limped towards him, cocking my right arm back. As soon as he was in range, I let loose blow after blow to his muzzle. My left arm and leg was starting to become too much of a distraction for me to ignore. I backed off and buckled over in pain. "I heard lots of bullshit being spewed from you lately! You seem to show that you can't stand me, you put me through the most hell, you call me out, you put me down, and you consider me as a lesser being than that of you! Why don't you tell me the real reason you don't want me around her!?"

Shining grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and proceeded to scream at me as the blood trickled into his right eye. "HOW CAN I TRUST YOU WITH HER!? SHE'S BEEN THROUGH TOO MUCH! SHE HAD TO BEAR THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON HER BACK! SHE CARRIES THE VERY FATE OF EQUESTRIA IN HER HOOVES! SHE'S SEEN AS A HERO AND A SAVIOR! WHAT CAN YOU DO TO MATCH UP TO HER!? WHEN SHE'S TIRED AND WORN FROM HER BURDENS-"

"I WILL CARRY HER!" I screamed back, still feeling the immense amount of pain in my arm and leg.

Shining winced in pain and fell over. He tried his best to stay on his hooves, but evidently he was too disoriented to maintain his balance. He looked at me with anger, but then his expression shifted to one of an epiphany. "What did you say?"

I sat on the ground, letting myself rest as pain and fatigue started to really take a toll on me. "The moments she's down on her luck, where it seems that the world has turned against her, I'll be her support. I may not look strong in appearances, but if these past few months haven't been an indicator of what my heart is willing to endure, then you seriously need to get your eyes checked."

A powerful bolt of pain caused me to hiss and grimace in response. My leg was burning from the wound Shining inflicted on me. My arm remained in pain. It was safe to assume from the cracking sound it made earlier that it was broken. There was no way I could carry on like this. But I still found the strength to stand up on my own. My leg stung greatly but I could still limp around. As I stood up, I finally said what was on my mind for the past four months.

"I remember, the day we were caught, Twilight asked me to prove just how special she was to me. I remember saying this: 'The thoughts I have and the words I speak are on levels so distant that they couldn't come to terms on what to execute'. But now, not only can I say those words, but I have pushed myself through the thickest mud and endure the most humiliating moments of my life to stand in front of both of you once more and say these three words... I love her."

Shining looked at me with shock and amazement. He tried to come up with a response but failed to think of anything. Shining was more than willing to dismiss me, but my actions that led me up to this point started to make sense to him. Each time he asked me to quit and give up, I persisted, believing in the future that I envisioned with his little sister. Since my decision to stay here, I let my actions do the talking rather than let my words appear empty.

My actions were leagues louder than the words I spoke.

"...Why didn't you say that before?" His voice finally softened. I didn't know what to think of that but it was something that I wasn't expecting. I didn't hear a hint of animosity in his voice. Instead, it was unusually kind.

"At the time, I was too weak. I was scared of you and scared of seeing Twilight cry. I'm scared of only one of those things now, and it does not involve you." I answered sternly.

"Look over there for a moment." Shining pointed towards the thrones where Celestia, Cadance and Twilight sat. When I had saw what exactly he pointed to, it became clear of what his next statement would be. "Now... you know I'm really gonna have to kick your ass for that. Nobody, and I mean nobody, makes my little sister cry."

Twilight covered her muzzle hooves as she choked back her sobs. The room became silent save the sound of a princess crying. She finally broke as she looked at the condition I was in. Upon realizing just how far I went to be with her, she let loose first a weak scream followed by a few sobs. Shamed that she became a sobbing mess in front of the crowd of guards, she covered her face with her wings and proceeded to let her tears flow. Cadance looked to her husband and finally saw that he was angry because of my indecisiveness at the time...

A miscommunication that I had to clarify upon.

I smiled and limped over for my sword. "Well in that case, I guess I'll have to defend myself."

"Since you let your heart do all the talking..." He started, stopping me from grabbing the blade. I turned around to see that he stood proud and tall on his own four hooves. "I guess it would be fair that I'd let mine do the same. No weapons, no magic, no clever little tricks hid up your sleeve. You and I will be fighting for the love of that purple little filly over there." He said pointing to his younger sister, who had started to recover from her crying fit.

I turned to him completely, still limping in pain. "Is this what you were wanting me to do all this time?"

"Kid, I've lost some major sleep hoping that this day would come."

I took a deep breath and balled my fist. Trying my best to get into stance, I readied myself for my next assault. Though I was a far-cry from the springy, healthy version that walked into this room earlier, I was still capable of doing a decent amount of damage. "Okay... Last one standing wins..."

Panting and still wobbling a bit, a bloodied Shining Armor motioned his hoof as if he was going to charge at me. He lowered his head and brushed his hoof against the ground. Panting and suffering from fatigue, he spoke. "Yeah... Let do it."

We stared at each other for a good amount of time, waiting for something to give us a cue to charge at each other. The crowd stared at both of us as we remained motionless for a while. Finally, we lunged at each other. I fell after the first three steps thanks to the immense amount of pain surging throughout my leg. Shining took the same amount of steps forward and just fell over. We both hit the ground in a thump, causing the crowd around us to gasp in surprise.

"SHINING ARMOR!" Cadance screamed as she flew from the alter and landed beside her husband.

"NONDIS!" Twilight shouted as she teleported from the other side of the alter and appeared beside me. When they both reached us, they stared back at one another and realized that they both had went after the same thing.

"You beat me..." Shining muttered out weakly.

"What?" I asked, laboring in pain.

"I passed out from the stress of a cracked horn. You have an injured leg and a broken arm. If we were to fight like this, you'd easily take me out." He stated as he laid against the ground. Cadance did what she could to make sure he was comfortable.

"I can't fight like this. I have only a leg to stand on and an arm to defend myself. And if you threw another one of those haymaker strikes at me, I'd lose my other arm just from protecting myself." I stated, as Twilight started to survey the damage dealt.

The stallion chuckled weakly as he started to raise his head. "Difference between you and me is that I'd die if I carry on like this."

Though he wasn't really wanting to admit to his defeat, he had no other choice to concede due to a health issue. I wasn't really aware of the risks of striking one's horn. "That bad, huh?"

He didn't speak on it after that, instead he placed his concern towards me. "Can you stand?"

"I think I can." I answered, still grimacing from the pain in my injured leg.

"Just try."

Twilight looked at me with worry, to which I dismissed. As soon as I placed my right arm on the ground for balance, I pulled myself up off of the ground and limped back onto my own two feet. "Okay... now what?"

I suddenly felt something raise my right arm into the air. When I looked over to see what it was, I found the referee holding my arm in place. "THE MATCH HAS BEEN DECIDED, THE VICTOR OF THIS CONTEST, THE ROOKIE, ADONDIS!"

"Nondi- aw fuck it." I really didn't have the strength to argue right now. I just wanted to get some rest... Right after I overdose on morphine

The crowd cheered loudly, though I head some of the cheers die down a bit after the ones who placed bets realized that they lost. The others who were merely spectating were applauding the performance. Celestia took relief that I was the victor and that we had finally duked it out. Though I have the strangest impression that she was not wanting to let us have another go.

Shining raised himself back on his hooves with the assistance of his wife. Cadance smiled as she walked him out of the room and towards the medical staff outside. "Come on sweetie, you did great."

The others ran up and greeted me as Twilight gave me a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. Rarity looked at me with a blush and a smile as she screamed out her excitement. Cheese was the first after Twilight to congratulate me. "Nondis, you did it!"

"Not bad, rookie!" Rainbow exclaimed as she gave me a nudge to the arm. Unfortunately it was the wrong one.

"ARM!" I screamed out in pain.

The cyan pegasus jumped back and her ears flopped in remorse. "Heh-heh... sorry."

As the crowd celebrated the match that took place as well as the result, another stallion, Blueblood specifically, entered into the room, escorting Princess Luna into the room. As the crowd continued to cheer, Luna smiled. "I did not know that I was so well-received amongst the guards."

Blueblood turned to Celestia. "Well auntie, what did I miss while I was away?"

Something tells me that those two were not going to like what they missed out on.

As a boy, I've found out that many of the other boys in my class were cool with each other. And if they weren't, then they just got into fights with each other. But at the end of that fight, there was a sudden realization of who was stronger or who had more heart. Usually, the two would grow to become friends or fierce rivals, but the bonds between those two would grow to become almost unbreakable. Even the harshest rivalries carry the undertones of friendship.

Shining and I weren't friends after that, but rather rivals who carried a mutual respect for one another. I almost knocked his block off and he almost snuffed me out. In the end, we both ended up throwing each other towards the precipice of fate. And we both still shared our usual cuss-out sessions. Both Cadance and Twilight stare at us as if we're crazy, but we tend to ignore that kind of stuff.

Shining's horn would take a lot longer to heal than my arm, being that his horn was a magical device on it's own. Who'd knew that it would be so hard to cast a spell on another's horn. My arm, on the other hand, was looked at, bones realigned, they cast a spell or two, and now I'm cast-bound for three days at most.

Though, we still decided to call for a rematch, to which Celestia promptly denied. I guess we'll have to do something else to make up for that missed opportunity. Despite his pride taking a bit of a tumble, he was still seen with a high level of respect. The other guards joke at his expense, but it's military, they do this shit all the time.

Two days later, I walked down the halls and made my way towards the exit, finished with my first shift in Canterlot. I was being reassigned due to Shining's frequent visits to the palace. Celestia knew that we would probably set something up behind her back, so to eliminate that possibility, she reassigned me to Ponyville to guard the castle there. Twilight went on ahead to the station while I grabbed my equipment and set out. At least I was going to work at home.

"Hey, rookie." I heard a familiar scratchy voice call out to me from further down the hall.

I turned around to see the flaming mane of the yellow pegasus mare floating in front of me. "Where you going?" Spitfire questioned.

I shrugged my shoulders as I scratched my head. "I'm being reassigned to Ponyville. I guess I caused too much of a commotion."

The yellow pegasus chuckled. "Yeah, you were a bit of a distraction."

"You think so?"

She stopped laughing and started to fly towards me. "Way more than you needed to be. I said that I was gonna be your next match, and you're not leaving here until I get it."

I started to back away from her, already knowing what she was pertaining to. "Well, would you look at the time? I think I should be going right n-"

I suddenly find myself backed into a pillar. Her hoof plants itself next to my head. She gives me a devious smile as she starts to inch closer towards me. "Your train doesn't leave for another hour and a half. We can get a quick one out of the way." She whispered.

I ducked out of my corner and backed away from her. I started to ease away when suddenly a figure to my right caught my attention. Startled, I jumped back and reached for my sword, but was stopped short as a pair of lips locked mine shut. I clenched my eyes in fear of what would happen next, but instead, I felt a familiar grasp around my neck. The familiar scent of lavender whisked past my nose, causing me to open my eyes and see who my aggressor was. Fortunately, it was not Spitfire.

Our kiss broke off and Twilight licked my cheek. Her eyes locked on to me, angrily demanding me to kiss her back. I pulled closer to her, only for her to pull away. She still left enough distance for me to pursue her even further, She leaned her head against mine, bring her lips a mere inch away from mine. For each breath I took, she sucked it away, greedily taking my very essence as she teased me even further. I threatened to kiss her again, and she pulled away as if she was taunting me. I started to become frustrated and vocalized my complaints.

Only one problem, my voice carried no sound. I started to panic, but she placed her hooves on both sides of my face, making me look to her. She didn't say anything, only giving me a smile so sinister that she almost seemed villainous. I knew then that she had stolen my voice when she had kissed me, which was why she was taunting me. She wanted me to get it back, but she wouldn't dare make it easy for me. After a few moments of staring, she broke her attention back to the yellow pegasus behind her. She walked up to her, pointing back to me.

"He's mine." She whispered angrily. "That's mine. No touching."

Spitfire seemed shocked that Twilight had appeared out of nowhere. I was more shocked that she came back. I thought she had left the castle a long time ago. Instead, she was right here, taking my voice away with a pair of sweet, tender lips and hissing at another mare over what was hers.

The way Spitfire talked to me was more than attractive. Honestly, it was just downright sexy. The way she knew what she wanted and demanded that she'd get it. I saw some attraction in it, but not enough to lose control and allow myself to have my way with her.

But Twilight... It was because she knew that I couldn't have what she had was why she teased me. She'd show me what she has, she'd let me touch, let me smell, but never let me taste. To her, I was some sort of child, staring at the cookie jar on top of the fridge. I wanted what she hid in there, but she wouldn't let me get any, not yet. Similar to Spitfire, she knew what she wanted and demanded that she'd get it. But what made her so deadly is that she was willing to fight for it. Not only that, but she was just as eager as I was. Her smell, the way she'd cut her eyes at me, the simplest touch she gave me, the strong musk that develops at the base of her tail, in between her haunches...

The thought of her drove me mad. I couldn't take it anymore.

I grabbed Twilight and pulled her along, dragging her down the hall with me as I ran to the exit, in hopes of making the earliest train to Ponyville. She seemed surprised that I was taking the more aggressive role, but I wasn't going to let this wait. I was going to reward myself by whatever means necessary.

By fuck, I was going to get my voice back.

Man did I take a risk for a future development. I just hope it pays off. As I originally stated, I will be taking a break from this story to work on another for this month. If I really feel like updating this one or my thought process begs me to do it, then I will.

As for the next chapter, well let's just say this is where it starts to get a little... difficult.

The door to Twilight's room opened as she happily trotted inside, leading me onward as she jumped to her bed. I grinned as I closed the door behind me, keeping my eyes fixed on the prize. The purple princess giggled while I hurried myself to the bed.

"Ah-ah-ahhh... Not too fast." She warned me as I stood in the middle of the room. "Move slowly."

I allowed myself to decelerate from a run to a fast-paced walk, hoping that the decrease of speed was enough.

"Nope. A little slower." She said, getting off of the bed and making me chase after her some more.

I slowed myself even further, walking at a normal pace to where she stood. I was within grasp of her, but then she disappeared in a flash of light and appeared on the other side of the room.

"Slower... I'm not going anywhere."

That was a lie. Every time I gotten close to her, she'd either fly off or teleport to another part of the room. Finally I crept towards her, hungrily pacing my way towards her.

"That's right." She whispered as she glided back to her bed. "Take your time... Rushing things won't get us nowhere."

I bit my lip as soon as I was a few steps away from her bed. This time, she stayed put as I moved at a snail's speed. She started to pant and chew at her lower lip as she laid on her back, facing me as I squinted at her. She gave me a promiscuous smile as she rested against her pillows, her hoof began to wander towards her stomach.

I could tell what she really wanted to do with that hoof. She lowered it just enough to censor what my eyes would normally glance at from time to time. With her other foreleg, she motioned me to come closer. With each step I took, the hoof she used to cover herself would gradually work itself up and down. My footsteps became the measurement for the intervals of when she could move her hoof up and down.

The princess started to squirm a bit as she let loose a long, agonizing moan that started as a croak and lifted itself to a squeal. My mouth started to water at what I knew what going to be presented to me. Twilight removed her hoof to reveal the moistened, darker set of lips that were sealed off by the two silver rings. As her hoof broke contact, a thin strand of fluid briefly bridge the space between her hoof and the soaked region it once touched.

My jaw clenched tightly as the hoof she used crept it's way back up to her muzzle. The juice that stained her foreleg started to pool at the lowest point, aligning with gravity as she held the purple limb over her open maw. A small droplet landed just shy of her mouth and instead landed on her upper lip. Acknowledging her mistake, she whispered under her breath.

"Oops."

She corrected herself by licking the small droplet off of her lips and facing me. With that same hoof, she guided my jaw towards her chest and laid me to rest there. Afterwards, she dabbed a small portion of her essence just on the tip of my nose, where my tongue was unable to reach.

Sometimes, I really hated this mare.

I wanted to experience the taste of her, just once. I knew that I could not fully have her, but I still deserved to sample what I would indulge upon. Instead, she offered me small whiffs of her musk, a smell so potent that my crotch tightened at the slightest hint. Growing impatient, I sought her lips, to which she denied me passage by her magic.

"Not yet... I want to make a deal with you. If I let you taste me, then you'd have to let me hold on to your voice for a little longer."

I swear that this mare was the devil himself. It was a difficult choice to make because I had to think in terms of the consequences of not having my voice for a certain amount of time versus my gratification.

"If you choose me, then I'll let you have a little sample of what you'll be getting in two months, but then you would have to hold off on speaking until the next time I decide to play with you. And as an added bonus, I might think about letting you release this time."

That was a major risk with a substantial payoff.

"If you choose the voice, then you'll be able to speak again. However, this will be the only time from now to the deadline of our approval where you'll have an opportunity like this. That means you can't release, nor will you be able to have another offer like this."

Do I really have to choose between those two. I understand that one is not only instant gratification, but it could also lead to multiple sessions afterwards. The other is the regaining of one of my essential functions to communication. Um... I think I can get by on writing my messages.

Making my decision, I started to shower kisses against her chest and slowly worked my way down. Twilight cooed as her hooves started to guide my head even lower to where she wanted me the most.

I turned my head towards the door in utter disbelief, scoffing while Twilight placed her hooves on my head and directed me back to the task at hand. "Ignore them, they'll leave eventually."

I liked that idea. Throwing all care to the wind, I proceeded to serve my princess.

"Uuugh!" This time, Twilight expressed her frustration by slamming her hoof into the bed. I rose off of her and stormed to the door, swinging it wide open to stare down a yellowish-orange pegasus guard clad in golden armor.

"Um... excuse me, sir. I don't mean to interrupt you at such a bad time, but-"

I leaned against the doorway, folding my arms and angrily staring down the stallion as he stuttered his words. "I-I-I'm sorry... I d-didn't mean t-to... um..."

Twilight walked beside me with a disheveled mane and a sour disposition. "What is it, Flash?"

"Forgive me, princess. I needed to give this to you. It's a letter from Canterlot."

The guard handed her the letter, as she flipped it over and saw the lack of a seal, the purple mare started to vent her frustrations out on the guard. "You do realize... that this is not a priority?"

"Your highness, it's from your mother."

She didn't need to hear him say that again. Tearing apart the envelope, she quickly read through the words and gave out a long-winded exhale. Closing her eyes in disappointment, I already knew what was coming.

If only this wasn't a reoccurring issue...

"I'll be ready in a minute. When will the chariot be here?"

"It's already in waiting, your highness."

"Great. Tell the guard that I will be arriving shortly."

The guard gave the princess a bow and galloped down the hall as I started to bang my head against the doorway. Twilight stopped me short of causing myself brain-damage and held my head in her hooves. She planted a kiss on my cheek, apologizing to me. "Sorry, Nondis. But it looks like your voice will have to do for now."

"Oh no." I spoke for the first time since Canterlot. "You're not gonna leave me like this. Not when you've worked me up so much."

Twilight's ears flopped at my disappointment in her. "I. SWEAR. I will make this up to you. When I get back, I will give you the time you desperately deserve."

"How long will you be gone?" I asked as Twilight grabbed her journal and crown.

"Two days at least."

"Fuck." I threw my arms into the air, giving up on any hope I might've had in terms of getting some action. Shaking my head, I cursed the circumstances that drove me and Twilight apart for the umpteenth time.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry. I swear that I'll make it up to you. I'll clear my schedule and ask not to be disturbed for a day or two. Then you and I can do whatever. Just be patient with me and I'll reward you."

"Promise?" I asked as I walked out of the room, allowing Twilight to lock up behind her.

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

"I'll hold you to it." I mumbled begrudgingly.

She gave me another kiss on the cheek. "See you later. Love you."

As Twilight ran down the hall to meet with her winged escort, I stood in the middle of an empty hallway, questioning how everything went wrong when it was going so right.

That train to Ponyville couldn't move fast enough. By the time we had gotten off of the train, Twilight had done all she could to avoid kissing me until we returned to the palace. We come here and tease the shit out of each other and then we get disturbed by fate's middle-finger. Now I was sitting in this hall with a boner that could rip a hole in my boxer, that is if it didn't already. I'm unfulfilled, horny as all fuck, bored out of my mind and I couldn't fap. Knowing Twilight, she placed a spell on me that wouldn't allow me to do it without getting a shock or something.

Sometimes, I just really hated our relationship.

Thirty minutes after Twilight left to Canterlot on some family business, I strolled around Ponyville in search of someone to spend my time with. I knew that I had five other mares to burn some time with, two of which I have yet to get really personal with. I guess it would make sense that I'd try them first.

The first stop I made was to Sweet Apple Acres, where Big Mac, Applebloom and Applejack were bucking apples out of trees. It was the time of year that they would harvest all of their apples and have a big sale at the town market. Maybe I could be of some help there.

"Sorry, Nondis. It's not that Ah don't want ya to stick around, but we're so busy 'round this time of year, we really can't afford to mess around."

"But I could help you guys out." I stated in hopes of offering my assistance.

"Ah really don't want ya to mess up that arm again. Ya just got it out of the cast yesterday."

"I can still help somehow."

"Sorry, Nondis. Maybe next time."

Well that didn't go as planned. I would've expected her to be a little more open to having some help around the farm. I guess my left arm, still in the process of recovering, doesn't really help my case that much. Oh well, I still have four more to go.

Walking down the street, I saw Rainbow Dash resting on a cloud above town square. I called her down and asked if she was busy today. Unfortunately, her nap was for a good reason.

"Sorry, rookie. I gotta do some major training for my Wonderbolts audition next week. But maybe we could hang out some other time."

That was one of her prime goals in life, and I was not going to be a hindrance to that. I nodded and walked off, making my way to the edge of town. At least Fluttershy would be able to help me kill some time. If not, then I'm down for painting the town with Discord, of course in his case, we'd be painting the town an assortment of colors.

"I'm so sorry, Nondis. But Discord and I have already set aside today for a bonding session."

Hey, I'm up for a little bonding... NOT THAT KIND. "Well, I don't-"

"Fluttershy dear, does this outfit make me look fat?" Discord asked as he walked in from the back of the house, wearing a skin-tight one-piece sukumizu while holding a ball gag in one hand and a power-drill in the other.

"Bonding... yeah... I'm gonna just..." I blinked and backed away quietly and slowly.

Commencing internal release mechanism in three... two... one...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Okay, that was way too much I needed to see. Though I did question the coincidence of Discord and Fluttershy expressing their kinkiest desires on the days where Twilight and I are constantly interrupted by one thing or another. But for right now, I needed to forget what I just saw.

Walking towards Sugarcube Corner, I was already thinking of the newest treats that Cheese Sandwich created just about three weeks ago. It was a chocolate pastry filled to the brim with fudge so thick that you could line bricks with it. He ironically called them forget-me-not's, for when a mare is having trouble smiling due to relationship issues or they're just depressed about something in general. Of course the chocolate nuclear warhead would cause you to momentarily forget your cares and focus on the enjoyment of the treat. I could really go for one of those, as well as some time with Pinkie.

"Sorry, Nonnie! We gotta prepare for a big party in Baltimare this week." The pink mare said before shouting back to Cheese. "I NEED THOSE PUMPKIN BITES IN THE OVEN, STAT!"

I shook my head, rejected for the fourth time. "So I guess you guys aren't making the forget-me-not's, are you?"

"Sorry. We're really busy filling out our orders. I'll see if we can give you a little something for your troubles." And in an instant, she ran from the other side of the counter and made her way towards the kitchen. "Cheese, where's my party cannon?"

"In the attic!"

I could tell that they were entirely too busy for me to hang around with. I took my leave and walked along the road towards the castle. Luckily, there was still one other person I could talk to. At least I knew for certain that Rarity didn't have to work today. Perhaps she would want to measure me for a brand new outfit.

"I'm sorry."

Those were the only words she said as soon as I asked. She quickly shut the door behind herself, causing me to knock at it again. "What do you mean 'you're sorry'?"

"I'm not taking any visitors right now. Please go away."

Rarity, denying me the time for a long conversation, not even shoving me through the door and dragging me towards her modeling podium. That was so many ways of wrong. "Rarity talk to me. What's going on?"

She cracked the door open and looked at me. I didn't really take a good look at her at first, but the circles under her eyes and the lack of makeup she wore was a definite sign that something had bothered her.

"Nondis..." She stayed silent for a while, gradually finding the words she wanted to say to me. "Do you find yourself mourning the loss of something you thought was special?"

Oh no... Did she lose someone? "What happened?"

"You, darling. I can't seem to get the fight you and Shining both had out of my mind. I cheered as loud as I could for you and hoped that you would come out of it victorious. But instead, I watched you..." She trailed off, trying to hold back her tears.

"Watched me what?" I asked.

She looked away from me, wiping her eyes of the tears that lined her cheeks. "You confess your love to another mare."

I initially wanted to ask what that had to do with her, but then I was reminded of what she said to me. She confessed her heart to me, moments before Twilight even. She acknowledged that I wanted to seek her out, but now...

That's right. I did confess my love to her. I fought her brother as part of that confession, to show her that I would do anything to keep her by my side, to show him that I would go though hell and high water just to be there for her. I fought for her, broke bones for her, bled and shed tears for her.

But Rarity was working for me since I had got here. She was making the very clothes I wore on my back, just to see me smile. She slaved away late nights and early mornings just to make sure I had a shirt to put on. And at times, it was Twilight who was ripping those same shirts off of me.

I thought the feelings Pinkie had for me ran deep, but Rarity was on another level. Both of them invited me into their homes, let me meet their families and shared very personal stories with me. I fought a bout for Twilight and a losing battle for Pinkie, but Rarity was fighting a losing battle for me. She wanted me to show that same passion for her, just as she threw these wonderful clothes on me with that same burning spirit. And in the end, I went to someone else, her best friend.

That's a mighty hard pill to swallow when you're talking to the person you like... a route I'm quite familiar in taking.

"Rarity... I'm..." How do I even apologize for that? "...I'll... "

She turned away from me, her eyes clenched shut to avoid seeing me. "As you know, I can't really deal with you right now."

And I understood that. She just needed some time to let it all out. I would help her, but being that I was the root of the problem, I wasn't going to be of any help at all.

"I'll let Sweetie Belle know that you came by. Thank you for sharing your time with us."

She started to close the door, but I threw my hand in just before it close completely. "I'll fight for you too. You're no different."

"But I'm just a mare to you now."

I felt a bit of frustration build inside of me as I pushed the door wide open. "Just a mare? Rarity, you're my friend. Not only that, but you're very special to me."

My words only seemed to cut into her even deeper. She turned around and started at me angrily. "Special? I give you my heart and soul, my latest hours and my finest clothes, and you go to somepony else?"

Again, her anger was justified. I could've made the decision to move on from Twilight being that our relationship was on some rather craggy rocks. Even now, our relationship is a bit strained due to these excessive guidelines. But I still didn't have any intention to stray away from that. "...Sometimes, I wish I could give it all back to you. Your love, your kindness, your generous spirit and the time you set aside for me. But I can't. I want to make it up to you, but I just don't know how."

Rarity pulled herself towards me, standing on her hind legs as she anchored herself onto my shoulders. She looked directly at me and held me as she spoke. "If you and Twilight never became intimate, if she would've never told you what she felt, if you never fought for Pinkie, if I never told you that it was my entry in that diary, if we had to start all over... would you give me the chance to have all of you?"

That was a question that I couldn't answer. I wanted to say something, but if I did, then that would show that I'd have some sort of regret for stepping into this relationship with Twilight, which I didn't. And as of now, I couldn't see me and Rarity together. Had it been much earlier, when I was wearing that damn dress... things would've been different. But who's to say that I would be faithful to her, considering that I had started to develop feelings for Twilight as well? Same goes for Pinkie, but she was already conflicted in her heart.

Twilight had won me over. Even if there was a slight chance, there was still only one other person who could really make me screw things up.

I grabbed her hooves, holding her up as I guided her back down. I knelt before her and caressed her face as I spoke. "You have me now, I just can't give you what you're looking for. I do love you and it is a tender love, but not one that's sickly."

Rarity nuzzled against my hand, holding onto it with both hooves. The softness of her coat rubbed against my palm as I felt slight trails of moisture on her cheeks. "I do love you, with all of me. And I will not take that back. Meaning that you won't be mine, doesn't mean that I could bring myself to stop."

I tried to pull my hand away, but she pulled me in even more. Hugging me as she stayed motionless, breathing erratically while she mumbled into my chest. "And since you won't give me all of you, then you'll just have to give me this moment." She spoke, trying to sound like her usual self despite the sound of her broken voice. "I'll... clean the shirt once I'm done."

For a while, we stood in the open doorway of her boutique as she leaned against me, quietly letting her heart and tears pour onto the shirt she strove to make. I held her back, giving her this one moment. I wasn't obligated to do it, but it was something that I would do. It was my responsibility as a friend to make sure she had a shoulder, or chest in this case, to cry on.

After my time with Rarity, I left her to the silence of her boutique. Meanwhile, I took the long route home, giving myself some time to think about what all had transpired since my coming here.

The first month, I was scared to speak to anyone that wasn't a human. But later, I started to warm up to my caretaker at least. The second month, I met Shining Armor. Since then, he, Twilight and I would go out on a few outings and share some time with each other as they both taught me the basics to living a life with technicolor equines. The third month was nothing more than me getting to know Pinkie, having to deal with Twilight and her flourishing crush, followed by it's inevitable crash-and-burn, her trip to rock-bottom and her lunch being spewed against my chest. Shortly after, Rarity and I started to share our time with each other.

By the fourth month, I had gotten to know the basics about all six of the mares who all sought to be my friend. I wore a dress for the second time in my life... don't ask about the first time. Then shortly after, I had gotten my ass beat and taken to court for said beating. I find out that Pinkie was abused real bad and they sentenced the one responsible to forty-something years with no parole. In the fifth month, I got intimate with Twilight, Shining got physical with me, I somehow got Fluttershy and Discord together, moved to Pinkie's place and revealed to the Cutie Mark Crusaders that I could play piano while Sweetie Belle showed off her singing voice.

Month six was a conundrum of shit. I met Pinkie's family, she confessed her feelings to me, Cheese came to town and then she became confused, I hooked her up with Cheese, I moved in with Rarity, met her parents, lived to see another day after Sweetie threatened to burn down the house, visit Canterlot for the first time, get knocked the fuck out, told that the portal was done, Twilight confessed her love to me, I decided to stay and continued to piss off Shining Armor for another three weeks.

Months seven and eight, I was sent to boot camp to train my ass off. I learned how to fight, I got in shape, I became the first human guard in E.U.P. history. In month nine, this month, I went to Canterlot on duty, took care of a sickened princess, challenged Shining Armor to a duel, confessed my love for Twilight and beat Shining's ass. Quite an eventful nine months...

Nine months... Wow.

The deadline for the portal's completion was set a month ago. I can't believe that they finished it as early as six-and-a-half months in. Though, the passing of the deadline date was something that lingered in my mind a bit. I still had the rest of today to do some things and even then, I had tomorrow to myself. Rainbow had training all this week. Fluttershy and Discord were going to need tomorrow morning, noon, and night to relax from today's activities. Twilight was visiting family in Canterlot. Pinkie and Cheese were shipping out towards Baltimare in the morning. Applejack had work to do on the farm. And Rarity... well it's best that I'd avoid her for now to avoid Spike. I wasn't really in the dealing mood right now.

After I went to my room, grabbed a few jewels and put on my Longhorns shirt, I cracked my neck, stuck my chest out, walked into the throne room and stared at the veiled device on the far end of the room. I revealed the large mirror that stood in the same place it once stood less than three months ago. I pulled the lever on the side and heard a low pitched hum as the mirror remained motionless.

For a while, I stared at the reflection of myself, knowing what it was time for me to do. I nervously pointed my hand inside. Similar to last time, my hand was engulfed in a metallic-looking goop that clung onto me until I at last separated from the mirror. At first, I was uncomfortable, but I realized that this wasn't going to get any easier if I stood around to bitch about it.

"Well... here we go."

With a deep breath, a strengthened resolve and a bagful of gems, I gave myself a running start and dashed right through the portal.

When my hand had broke through the plain, I had expected myself to endure some sort of tunnel with flashing lights and weird alien music playing as I crossed from one world to the other. Instead, it was as if I just walked through a wall of water. It was creepy as all hell, but at least I knew that I had made it.

I checked my surroundings, seeing where I was dropped off at. Oddly enough, I stood in front of my large body mirror just inside of the bathroom of my off-campus apartment. Smelling the familiar fragrance of the pumpkin-pie-scented spray from the plug-in on the wall, I took a deep breath of the air and walked out of my bathroom to see my bed, still unmade with my dirty clothes tossed on the floor. I looked outside the window to see that it was going into night time.

I walked over to my computer, taking in the fact that I haven't seen one in well over nine months. Fuck, I missed my baby... and I probably might need to clear my browser history. As soon as I fidgeted the mouse, the login screen popped up. I typed in my password and my computer informed me that it had expired. I soon worked my way around it and unlocked my computer, checking for the time and date.

October 10th, 2014.

The last time I was here was sometime in January. At least I knew that time moved as much as it did in Equestria. But I had to get my mind out of fantasy-land now. I was back home in Austin, here at the good-old University of Texas.

My eyes turned to my Xbox 360. My mind instantly went into relief mode as I pulled out the remote and started moving the media bar towards the icon for one of the games I still had a preference to. I know that this game gets a lot of shit, but it's what I enjoy from time to time. The intro began to play, and I took the time to appreciate it out of my longing for it.

I remember the first time I heard that. I was still getting my ass burned by campers and pro-gamers alike. Though many would ask why I haven't moved on, my answer was that the multiplayer on the other games, weren't as well received. Modern Warfare 2, you could barely find a lobby. Modern Warfare was taken over by hackers. At least this one had a hacker every ten lobbies. Plus I know how to back out when I see one (or when I don't see one in this case).

I started to move the joystick, but was greeted with a message saying that the battery needed to recharge. The sounds that my Xbox made was quite nostalgic. I know it sounds lame to revel over simple shit like this, but I wasn't going to take it for granted, considering that I haven't touched a game for nine months straight. But either way, I needed to hit up the drawer for some batteries for the remote. When I reached in, my hand froze. A thought had occurred.

It's been nine months. No one's been in here except for me. A semester and a half has passed and now I'm sitting in here as if the rent's been paid sometime last week. No one has even come here to check if I was dead or anything. None of it made any sense.

Did they think I was missing or something? Did anyone here even notice?

I suppose the world continued to spin and everyone here must've decided not to give a damn. I guess it really doesn't matter being that I was the social reject. And in this world, I still am. I knew that my parents paid the landlord my rent out of their bank account, but after nine months, I'd expect them to cut the funding and move on to funding something else. Though I can give them credit for doing this, as it has left my room virtually intact. Though that doesn't mean that my fridge isn't in need of a major overhaul.

In speaking of which, I wonder what's in there to eat.

I cleaned out the fridge, causing my apartment to smell like the anus of Satan. I had to open a few... scratch that, all of the windows in the apartment. I started to gather my clothes and sheets to sort out for washing. Thankfully, we had a laundromat downstairs so that I wouldn't get too many odd looks when they see that some of my clothes have mushrooms in them. Not really, but the smell seems to imply otherwise.

For a few hours, I gave my entire pad a military overhaul, throwing away all the things that no longer applied to me. And now, I was on my way to check on my GPA online.

Oh fuck, I skipped an entire semester of all my classes... Oh that's so gonna hurt my cum laude. My GPA went from a three-point-six to a two-point-nine. Well, I can kiss my special robes goodbye.

Looking to the clock on my wall, I could see that it was well-past time for me to do anything in general. The clock read eleven thirty-two. I guess I can find my wallet and see what money I have left and grab something off of the dollar menu at McDonalds.

Wow, it's been forever since I've had their fries.

Scouting through the room, I looked all over, just to find it staring me directly in the face. I picked up my wallet from my nightstand and pulled out about seventeen dollars. Shit, I guess I'm eating good tonight! I also grabbed my freshly-charged iphone four off the counter and ran for the door. But before I left, I had to find my keys.

I could not find those things even if I had prayed for them. I just, for the life of me, couldn't remember where I had placed those damn things. Though to be fair, I didn't really remember what I was even doing back in January in the first place. I guess that'll come back to me when I get downstairs. Either way, I walked outside and lifted my rug to grab my spare apartment key and ran over to the parking lot.

Oh... for the love of... please let this be a joke...

I had to walk back upstairs and into my room, walk back out and into the parking lot to become even more angry at what I saw, rather what I didn't see.

"WHERE THE FUCK'S MY CAR!?"

Those assholes... I know that they did it. I've been gone for nine months and only these fucks, aside from my parents. know that I have a car. If this was another one of their frat pranks, I was going to smash skull until I see the white meat. Sweating from the walk, I panted and puffed in anger as I approached an old-style house with greek letters set on the edge of the upstairs balcony. With boiling frustration, I hammered my fist against the door.

"Yo! Open up the goddamn door!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, not even caring about disrupting the neighbors. Hell, it's greek row, they'll be awake till around three.

My fists continued to batter against the door of the Delta Phi fraternity home until the door swung open. Somehow, my mind was conditioned to see a pony show up at the door so my head was tilted down to look at the pony who would answer. Instead, I was looking at the waist of a dark-skinned male with dreads holding a personalized Louisville Slugger with the fraternity letters grafted in.

"The fuck are you!?"

"Where the fuck's my car!?"

The dark-skinned man looked at me with eyes squinted and lowered his bat. He tilted his head as he tried to get a better look at me. "Hold up, bruh... You look familiar."

"Oh, you know, I've been running around campus, planting flowers, adopting puppies, shit like that-I'M IN YOUR FUCKING FRAT, DUMBASS! NOW WHERE IS MY FUCKING CAR!?" I started to vent my frustrations towards him.

"Hey, you wanna come at me a little better then? This bat ain't here for yo... oh shit!"

What was he surprised about? "What?"

The guy dropped the bat and started to back away slowly, staring at me in shock. He turned around and screamed to the upstairs rooms. "Hey! Hey Rickey, you ain't gon' believe who's here!"

I looked at him quizzically, unsure of who he was and how he knew me. "W-wait, what?"

I heard the almost-foreign sound of feet stumbling to walk towards the stairwell. By the time the guy got there, he stared at me slack-jawed. "No... fucking... way..." The guy with a light tan, short brown hair and blue eyes that looked at me was the very guy who got me into this fraternity. He ran down the stairs as quickly as he could and got a better look at me. "Nondis?"

"Ricky, where's my car?" I simply asked as he looked at me as if I was a zombie.

"Oh... shit. I can't believe you're here! Dude, I... we... fuck man! We thought you were dead!"

And I'm lost. "What?"

"You don't remember what happened?"

I looked at him dumbfoundedly. "What are you talking about?"

"Dude, it's been nine months!"

No shit, Sherlock. "Yeah... and? Where's my car?"

The two guys just stared at me, scratching their heads and trying to think of something. The dark-skinned man spoke. "Let's slow down for a sec. You mean to tell us that you don't remember... what you did in Galveston back in January?"

I remember us going somewhere now that he mentioned it. But I didn't remember where. The rest of it seemed like a complete blackout. Though after that, the first thing I remember was being scared by a pink pony who just wanted to say hello. "Not really."

They both took a deep breath and walked me into the house. Ricky pulled me into the den and sat me down on one of the couches. "Dude... Are you hungry?"

Famished. "Why?"

"We're gonna be here for a while."

Something tells me that this story might have to do with my car being missing.

Well... that was a lot.

After they managed give me some soda and the last of the leftover pizza from just earlier, they took the time to explain everything that happened in Galveston. And apparently, it was a lot of shit worth mentioning. I was told that our frat was going on a trip to the gulf to celebrate the new year. After riding there, we had a pretty wild party that pretty much lasted all the way until the fifth of that month. It didn't take me long to find out that no one was really paying attention to me because of how quiet I was. So I made a decision to try and fit in.

After a few shots and couple of joints, I started to unwind a bit. A bit too much actually. I was a very bad dancer and was driving all the girls away from me with pelvic thrusts so sporadic that it looked like I was have a mix of Tourettes and a seizure. Eventually, I got so drunk, I blacked out. The next day after I decided to try the process again, a stupid decision. So I upped the ante and got a hold of some shrooms. I started tripping balls and wandered outside to ride in my car. The next thing that they knew, my car had crashed into the gulf. I swam out, but I just kept swimming towards somewhere else. The next day, they couldn't find me, contact me or even catch wind of where I wandered off to.

So quite literally, I ended up tripping to Equestria. But how? I didn't lose all that weight and join the military for an imaginary cause. Hell, if my fights were anything, it was an indication that it was all real. I'd need to speak with Twilight as soon as I get back about this. This is strange.

After a little bit, I had finally let it all sink in and I was updated on what all had happened to me when I was gone. Apparently, they told my parents what all had happened, my parents had sent out a search party and informed the school that I had gone missing, and they continued to pay the rent of the apartment in hopes that I would one day return.

And I fucking loved them for it.

"So where you been, bruh?" Cliff, the man with the dreads, asked me as he threw me a bottle of water.

"Okay... I've been to a magical land of talking ponies and snarky dragons that all came in a variety of colors, shapes and sizes. I met their princess and their people wanted me to marry her." I joked.

The two stared at me for a second before bursting their guts all over the floor. They both slapped their knees and held themselves as they tried their best to stop laughing. Rickey shook his head. "That's had to be one hell of a trip you went on. But how the hell does that shit go on for nine months?"

Easy, it was all real. But I'm not telling you that. "Yeah... Shit was crazy."

"But you cool now?" Cliff asked as he got himself a snack out of the freezer. "You ain't went out and catch no crazy shit, did you?"

"Nah, I'm clean." The only thing I seemed to catch was a shitload of problems. But they all gradually resolved themselves.

"Dude," Rickey pulled out his cell phone and started to scroll down the list. "I gotta text my ex about this shit!"

"Woah, woah, woah... your ex? I don't think she'd even give a shit." I stated as I downed the water to wash my mouth of the loose food.

"Nah, man. Melanie has been trying to see-"

I think for the first time in my life, I pulled off a successful spit-take. The water sprayed from my mouth as I struggled to breathe for a brief second. "MELANIE!?"

"Yeah. She and I went out about six months ago and we broke it off two months after."

"She was on some tie-you-down type shit. It's college bruh, we ain't got time for dat. We tryin' to cut it in before we start lookin' for wifey." Cliff added as he dry-humped the air, pretending he was holding a girl in his hands.

I'll find the time to punch Rickey in the face for Melanie and Cliff in the throat for his comment later, but for now I needed to hear about what was going on with Melanie. "What's going on with her?"

Rickey cringed as he shrugged his shoulders. "She's been sick over you. Since you disappeared, she's been the main one who was trying to find out whatever happened to you."

I started to feel guilty over what I said to her before I joined the fraternity. I just couldn't stand to bear the fact that she was the flagship in the search for me. Maybe I made a mistake and misjudged the world for not caring about me. Then again, it could be the government wanting another person to live long enough to pay their taxes. But that's another bullshit theory my mind would throw together.

Yet that doesn't explain how these two, who didn't give two shits for what I did with myself, started to suddenly show some concern for what I was doing for the past nine months. But that doesn't matter. What I need now is information, and I can't get that if I decide to be nasty with everyone.

I wasn't exactly fond of knocking today. The last time I heard a knock, I was deprived of an opportunity of the sexual nature. Rickey got off of the sofa and walked towards the front door. "I'll get it."

I turned to Cliff, who I started to remember. The last time I saw him, he had some braids. Not only was he enrolled in one of my classes, but he crossed the burning sands a year before I did. He was a member of Delta Phi a year before I had even thought of joining.

"So..." I began. "What all happened when I was gone?"

"Let's see... um. Ya boy Robin Williams died."

Damn, that a shot to the heart. So much for my childhood. "That's tragic."

"There's this one organization called ISIS, ISIL, Icicles, some shit like that and they cuttin' heads off and shit."

Damn, I can see the world has moved right along without me. "Again with this?"

"Kim Jong Un went missing."

Okay, that's interesting. "Really?"

"A man in Dallas died from gettin' the Ebola virus."

Oh that's just next door. That's not even funny. "Are you serious?"

"Some shit goin' down on campus, they protestin' the shit that went down in Ferguson this past summer."

"Where's Ferguson?"

"South of St. Louis."

"What happened there?"

Cliff pulled out his phone and pulled up a web page of the images of what all had happened. "Bruh, what didn't pop off up there? You got the police in tanks and shit, boy up there got shot by a cop and died over some dumb shit, they protestin' and all, got them boys rioting-"

As I cycled through the pictures and a few videos, I shook my head in disbelief. "And this is all in our back yard too."

He took the phone from me and pulled up another page from the school's website. After he was done searching, he gave me the phone to look at a photo of myself with the caption of 'missing person'. "You hot news around here, bruh."

A video played, going further into the details of the story. As of now, every last bit of the trail they used to find me had gone cold. The cops are baffled, trying to find out any information about me. I saw my mother in an interview, she was crying that I hadn't come home in some time. And now, the cops had assumed that the worst had happened to me. Almost all attempts of rallying any more search parties had all but quelled. Only my family, a few detectives and a local student at the university was looking for me. I can't believe I caused such a ruckus.

"Here you go." I heard Rickey say as he walked into the room, followed by another set of feet.

When I had looked up, I questioned myself over who was the person standing across from me. It was a cute, fair-skinned girl with medium-longish, brown hair with bangs, dark-brown eyes and a small double-chin. She wasn't fat, but she wasn't skinny either. Instead, she was a well-proportioned individual. She had a decent-sized bust with a small rear-end. She wore a pink shirt, black leggings and a pair of white Sketchers. The girl stared at me with unfamiliarity.

Rickey walked over to me and asked me to stand up. After I rose from my seat, he placed an arm around my shoulder. "You remember Nondis?"

A look of revelation sat upon her as she looked at me, gasping and covering her mouth. She shook as she reached out for me, starting to cry over my appearance. When her hand reached out, it shook violently as she ran up to me. I stood motionless, not sure how to react to her. Finally, she reached me, grabbing onto my hands, feeling the skin of my palms, marveling at the slight touch of my fingers. She held my face to get a good look at me. After a moment, she let herself descend into maddened sobs. Her arms latched around my body as she hugged me rather tightly.

"Nondis, I think you owe Melanie an apology."

Me: Well, I should go on ahead and get started with this other story I was writing. It would be fair that I do just that.
Mind: NO BITCH, YOU'RE GONNA WRITE THIS!
Me: b-but... muh other stories-
Mind: FUCK THAT! NEW CHAPTER NAO!

That's all of what happened in a nutshell. So my brain pretty much bullied me into updating this. I don't need to, I don't need to, I don't need to, I don't need to, but I want to. So yeah, he's back in the human world and he'll be there for a brief second. Of course, being that he shares our universe, the things that happens here will happen on the human end of the spectrum until later.

Why later? Stick around to find out.

Also, if you guys were wondering what a sukumizu looked like...

The party at the Delta Phi boardinghouse was more than just a party. It was the event of the semester, or at least that's what the guys tried to call it. Everywhere you looked, you could see the other students getting so bombed that they kissed the nearest person or item next to them. It was like a huge pansexual orgy, minus the sex... Well, the sex mostly took place upstairs in the guest rooms, bathrooms, and closets. If anyone had to take a piss, they had to go outside and do it in one of the bushes against the house next door. The backyard pool a breeding ground for flirtatious activity. All around the place, everyone was having a blast, dancing without a damn care in the world...

Everyone except for, you guessed it, the pledges.

If you were a pledge, it didn't matter what your classification was, what major you took, or how wealthy your family really is. If you decided to become a member of Delta Phi, or any frat for that matter, you were going to do something that would embarrass the shit out of you. If they had a charity, you were the ones that had to raise the money. If they wanted you to fuck with some girl scouts, which I would personally advise against doing, then you were going to do it, get your ass kicked, and possibly sued for harassment. If they had a party with a theme, then you had to be apart of the theme.

The party's theme was 'The Gentlemen's Ball'.

When I had first thought of the theme, I had assumed that I was going to serve as a butler or a servant, something within that area. Unfortunately, I couldn't have been more wrong. Instead, they made all of us wear French maid costumes, complete with the aprons and accessories. That's not even the bad part. The worst of it all was that we had to wear everything. EVERYTHING. That means we'd have to wear the fishnet stockings, the high heels, the lacy brassiere, the make-up, the hair-do's, the nails, the little hat, the waxed arms and legs, the costume, and the g-string to go underneath it all.

That was the first time I had to wear a dress. And being that I was a little on the chubby side, I was not pretty to look at.

So while we had a full-on tranny-fest, we had to act as the servants to all of the guests. That means if they asked you to do something stupid like dig up your nose and eat your boogers while counting to ten, then you'd best be doing it. Otherwise, you'd have to go to the 'Room of Purification', aka the room where they'd paddle your ass until you nearly shit yourself.

Hazing was a common practice.

While I walked around to serve anyone who wanted it, they'd give me a tip. And that tip would go to a 'charity' of the fraternity's choosing. In truth, it meant that they were saving up for more beer and other snacks. The bar needed to restock itself somehow.

During my time in what they would call the 'Scorching Sands' you were to go by a series of tests and trials. Some of them dangerous, some of them silly, some of them will get your ass kicked, some of them will get you suspended, others will have the school revoke your scholarship. Sounds bad, but that last one was for the ones that tried to disclose the hazings that goes on behind closed doors. Hell, as expensive as the tuition was to go here, you'd have to be a stripper or sell your organs on the black market to stay enrolled.

But I digress. Back to the party.

The party came off as a success. Everyone who was in attendance was pretty chill, except for the occasional drunk who'd start some shit. I had to help toss one of those very drunks outside. And after a good heave-ho, the party was good to go. But when I had started to make my way back inside, a familiar voice called out to me.

"Nondis?"

I froze up, completely embarrassed for myself as well as the girl who called my name. I was so ashamed, I tried to run back into the house and go back to the kitchen to help serve up some refreshments to the guests. Moments had passed by as I started to work my way around the house again. But then I was summoned by one of my big bros to help out with a guest.

If only I had ignored that order.

"Nondis, what in the hell are you wearing?" Melanie asked me as she looked at me with a disgusted look.

I laughed nervously as I tried to creep away. "Oh hey-"

I was then stopped by the 'big bro' that summoned me over. His name was Prett, pretentious fuck. "Hold on, faggot! You speak to your guest!" He said as he shoved me right back over to Melanie.

She gave him a disapproving scowl as she turned her attention back to me. "What are you doing?"

"Look, I'm just trying to do what I can to fit in. Can we not ask about... you know?"

"Well, as a woman I feel offended by what you're doing. Why are you even dressed like that?"

I sighed as I looked to the larger guy that stood next to her. He gave me a wicked smile as he made himself comfortable, eating the snacks off of the tray I once held. "Melanie, it's just temporary. I'm not gonna-"

"Maid," Prett commanded. "What do you wanna do to her?"

I really didn't want to say what he was going to make me say. But if I was going to get into this fraternity and become apart of something, I had to do it. "F-fu-"

"I can't seem to hear you! What do you wanna do to her?"

Melanie, I am so, so sorry. "FUCK HER RIGHT IN HER PUSSY!"

The crowd of people around me started to laugh and giggle as I said the infamous line of that one guy who ran up to a broadcaster's mic and screamed it on live television. Melanie, however, was far from amused. "Excuse me?" She questioned, seeming appalled at my vulgar confession. The worst part of it was that I wasn't allowed to apologize for it.

"Look, I'm just trying to do what I have to. Please just go along with-"

"No!" She interjected. "I won't go along with this bullshit and neither should you. Why is it that you feel that being here would make you any more of a sociable person?"

"I-"

Prett gave me yet another command. "Maid, show our guest a good time."

"What does he mean by that?" She asked angrily.

"Whatever the fuck I want it to mean." He stated openly. "If I say it, he follows. He wants to be one of us, I'd say we let him."

Melanie started to pull me out of the front room and find someplace where the two of us could talk. "Let's talk for a moment."

But then Prett gave me another order. "Our guest seems unsatisfied with our offers. Maid, please show her just how much you need her to stay. Kiss her feet."

I was a tad bit reluctant, but I obeyed his orders. The moment my knees hit the ground, I bowed over to kiss the well-cared feet of Melanie. I took a deep breath, swallowed my pride and went for it. But before my lips came in contact with her, she stormed off and broke for the front door. "Fuck this." She mumbled while she walked out of the party.

"Melanie!" I shouted, trying to get her to come back.

In seconds, we both found ourselves walking on the front lawn. She headed for her car as I constantly followed her. For moments at a time, she'd remain silent as I called out to her.

"Melanie! Melanie, look... I'm sorry-"

"Don't you see what's going on here?" She asked me, pointing to the house with her keys in hand. "You're being played for a sap!"

"Look, just give me time. I can be more than popular as soon-"

"As soon as what? You embarrass yourself in front of the whole campus!?"

I tried to calm her down. "Melanie, it's just a party. I'm having fun. Really." I lied.

"So you call degrading yourself fun? You call letting a bunch of bullies tell you what to do fun? Have you fucking lost it!?"

"No. I haven't. I just figured that I could finally make some more friends."

"Yeah, that's good and all, but this isn't how you do it!"

"Melanie, a fraternity is a gateway of making life-long connections. If anything, it could open up so many doors for me."

Melanie blew air at my statement, shaking her head. "You can't be this naive. Nondis, you can't possibly believe that an organization that does all of this to you now will become something that will get you more friends."

"How do you know that!?" I questioned, starting to become frustrated.

"Because it doesn't! You have to be sociable to begin with! You can't just slap on a few greek letters and call yourself sociable! You have to learn how to interact with other people! You have to develop personal relationships with them in order for it to work! And all that bullshit about life-long connections is just what it is, bullshit!"

"Well, maybe I just want to be popular for once in my life, you know like not being a social reject! Have you ever thought about that!?"

"Being popular and making friends are two different things! You'll see when shit starts to get rough, then who's there to help you out!? None of those 'friends' would even spit on the dirt you walk on!"

I walked around for a bit, starting to let the anger boil up inside of me. "Why is it you care so much what I do!?"

"BECAUSE I'M YOUR FUCKING FRIEND!"

"Really!? Last I checked, I gave you a lot of fucking advice that you chose to ignore! So why should I listen to you now!?"

"What advice did I ignore!?"

"GEE, I DON'T KNOW! HOW ABOUT EVERY FUCKING BOY YOU'VE EVER DATED! WHEN YOU COME BACK SAD AND SHIT, I'M THE ONE THAT TELLS YOU THAT IT'S GONNA BE OKAY! BUT AFTER THAT, YOU SAY THAT YOU'RE GONNA TRY TO MAKE THINGS WORK! AND THEY NEVER FUCKING DO!"

"SO, WHY DOES THAT MATTER!?"

"BECAUSE IT'S LIKE YOU CAN'T JUST GRAB A FUCKING HINT! I MEAN, HELLO! I LIKE YOU, BUT YOU LIKE THIS OTHER GUY INSTEAD! IT'S LIKE YOU KEEP SAYING TO ME 'HEY, I WANT YOU TO STICK AROUND BECAUSE YOU DO SO MUCH FOR ME, BUT I'M GONNA GO WITH EVERYONE ELSE IN THE GODDAMN STATE EXCEPT FOR THE ONE MOTHERFUCKER THAT ACTUALLY GIVES A FUCKING SHIT ABOUT ME'!!!"

"THAT'S WHY YOU'RE MY FRIEND! FRIENDS CARE FOR ONE ANOTHER!!!"

"THEN WHY AM I THE REBOUND GUY THAT YOU ALWAYS FUCKING TALK TO WHEN SHIT GOES WRONG!? WHY IS IT THAT YOU CAN NEVER GIVE ME A CHANCE!? YOU DATE ALL THESE ASSHOLES AND YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE THE GUY WHO'S NEXT TO YOU A FUCKING TRY!"

"OH HERE WE GO WITH THE NICE-GUY ROUTINE! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE NICE TO ME, DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M OBLIGATED TO BE WITH YOU! I DO HAVE A CHOICE IN WHO I WANT TO BE WITH!"

"HOW CAN YOU KEEP ACTING LIKE A DUMB-ASS BITCH!?"

...Oh no. I-I didn't mean to say that. That was just some comment in the back of my mind. I didn't mean to actually say it out loud. No no no no...

Melanie stopped talking. Instead she looked at me heartbroken. Though she looked angry, I knew that she was disappointed in me. Not only did I insult her, but I had the nerve to call her out of her name, something that I swore that I would never do.

"Melanie-"

She threw her arms up. "No, you're right. I'm a dumb-ass bitch." She stated with a trembling voice. "I made mistakes."

"Melanie, look, I didn't mean that."

"Well if you didn't mean it, then you wouldn't have said it."

"I was just angry. Look-"

She took a deep breath, as the tears started to show on her face. "I'm a dumb-ass bitch. I am. I am one for the sole reason of getting to know you."

My heart sank like a weight in oil. My palms started to sweat and my hands started to tremble as I tried my best to apologize to her. "I'm so-"

"No." She walked off, making her way towards the driver seat of her car. I followed her, hoping to prove just how sorry I was. I didn't want our friendship to end like this.

"Melanie."

The engine turned over and the car started as she looked back at me through the lowered window. "Make all the 'friends' you want. I don't care anymore... I just don't. I'm done. I tried to help and be there for you... But I'm just a 'dumb-ass bitch' to you."

The windows started to roll up. I ran to the front of the car, hoping to stop her from driving forward. "Please, just listen to me-"

She lowered the window to the driver's seat side, allowing me to walk over and speak to her. But before I could even breathe, she spoke first. "Thank you for showing me what kind of a person you really are. Goodbye... asshole."

The tires screeched as she pulled off in reverse. I jumped back to avoid my feet from getting ran over as I watched her car furiously turn around and leave down the street. I couldn't help but to remain frozen in place, mortified of what all had just transpired. I couldn't believe that I had said something so horrible to her. I had literally became the very same guy who talked down to her, who'd call her names, who constantly devalued her.

I couldn't hate myself more than I did now.

"Holy fuck! That was some Young and the Restless shit!" I heard Prett holler from behind me. I turned around to see a crowd of people quietly staring at me as Prett walked over to me. "Hey. Don't even trip. You just got yourself out of the friendzone."

"I didn't me-"

"And you couldn't have made me any prouder." He added.

Though his praise didn't really add to the large hole in my heart that I was left with. He placed his arm around me and walked me back inside. I kept silent as the words kept replaying in my head, as if it was spinning on a record and the needle kept going back to that one part... the one part I didn't want to hear.

"Hey. Look here, you can get so many more bitches than her. And you can find some that are way better than her. Besides, you're too young to be held up like this, just to be called a friend. Hell, she wasn't even giving you any play!"

As he and I walked back into the party that night, he continued to fill my ears with immoral musings and objectionable statements. But no matter how much he tried to poison me, there was already one thing that had done me in.

I just killed my only friendship.

Present Day...

"Nondis, I think you owe Melanie an apology."

Did I ever. I couldn't believe it, I knew I had a long to-do list I wanted to cover since I left Equestria. And giving Melanie my apology for what I said was more than just an item on the list. It was the first thing that was written down.`And here it is, my opportunity to make it up to her. I tried to break myself off, but her grasp was too strong for me to break without using force. Instead of breaking apart the hug, I decided to give her my apology as is.

"Melaine... I'm s-"

She pounded against my chest, fussing at me all the while. "Don't you ever do something so stupid again! You could've been hurt, killed, kidnapped... How stupid can you get?"

"Melanie-"

Once again, I was interrupted. "Where the hell have you been for the past nine months!? You had me so worried!"

"Bro, since that fiasco in Galveston, we've been trying to find you." Rickey added as he looked at his phone and checked the time.

My attention turned to the guy who just finished speaking. "What? Why?"

Cliff scoffed at my question. "Are you even listen to yourself, bruh? Is that mushroom still in yo shit?"

"I mean, I wasn't even anybody worth saving to you-"

"Nondis, dude, think for one second." Rickey interjected. "If you disappeared, a full-fledged member of Delta Phi and a fellow human being, do you honestly think we're so careless to leave your ass swimming to the sharks?"

"Honestly, you guys didn't even pay any attention to me. Once we had the probate, it was like I was non-existent."

"Yeah, you were on some wierd-type shit. But for real, you still roll with us."

Melanie pulled herself away from me, disappointed in my responses. "Nondis, why do you feel as if the world doesn't care about you?"

That's the thing. It didn't. If I was to die here and now, the world would just keep spinning and running it's course. "I mean, scientifically speaking-"

"Are you really that dense?"

I can't help it. Try being bullied for so many years and ignored, being used as the butt-end of every joke since middle school and have that same stigma carry over to high school. Try constantly getting into situations where everyone starts to stare right back at you and think you're weird for just being yourself...

Deja vu...

It finally hit me. Those words that replayed over and over again in my head. The very question Melanie just asked me, they sounded just like a familiar phrase I heard from long ago. Haven't I heard that before? Yeah, with Pinkie.

"Sorry. I don't want to be anything more than friends with you. You... I just want you to be close to me. I can have you close by and not be in that kind of relationship with you."

Haven't I been in this situation before? Yeah, with Melanie to be more specific. The only difference was that I didn't have the sexual drive to Pinkie that I did to Melanie when I had first met her. At the very least, I was okay with Pinkie's decision to stay the way we are. "So we'll be friends. I have no problem with that."

"I..." Pinkie sighed and turned herself back to me. She gave me a gentle smile before opening her hooves in request of a hug. "Yeah. We'll be friends."

"Great." I answered back, accepting her offer.

She and I hugged each other for an extended amount of time. Our embrace became full and heartwarming. I could still smell the vanilla frosting that littered her body. Her hooves slowly ran up and down the length of my back as she held on to me. "Yup. The best of friends."

I broke away from her, noticing that her words had sounded rather melancholy. I looked at her, seeing that she was wearing her usual masking smile. "You sure you're okay?"

She poked me in the nose, smiling all the while. "I'm fine, silly. I just need to clean up."

The pink mare turned away, finally walking out of the room. I could see that the thin smile she wore had finally dissolved into a frown. Hoping to see her smile, I cracked a joke at her. "Don't run all the hot water out."

She cracked the door as she left, but stood motionless outside of the room. She popped her head back in and I saw the same look she wore when she found out that Caramel was looking for her. Her mane had somewhat deflated, her eyes had went from a warm gleam to a icy, hopeless glow. The circles formed under her eyes as she avoided the sight of me. Her voice became weak and quiet. "You know, you can be a bit dense."

She finally closed the door on me, leaving me perplexed at her statement. I really didn't know how to respond to that. It was unpredictable. I didn't even think something like that would even leave her mouth, let alone the very idea of her calling me dense. The only thing I could do was scratch my head.

That's just it. My view of humanity had become so skewed because I looked at all the negatives that I had gone through and applied those persons to the entirety of the human race. I've allowed myself to remain a victim of the past and I haven't let myself see that there are a lot more than just those jackasses in the world. I mean, humankind is going through some pretty dark times, but our humanity still exists when there's a call for action.

And this search for me, the way an entire college practically placed their concern over finding me... no an entire city of over eight-hundred thousand had placed their concerns over my well-being. It didn't have to involve them actively searching the streets for me, nor does it require them to make phone calls. All they had to do was offer their thoughts and well-wishes. Even the smallest things, the little things, mattered.

And that's what I've been ignoring when I lived here.

Back in Equestria, I lived in a world that provided me with a broader view of how kindness and concern for one's well-being could really make a difference. And this one little asset had fueled one's will to carry on, despite the trials and tests they had to face. Here, I was so busy being locked in my room and ignoring the world around me that I didn't give a damn over the littlest things. The small stuff that humanity had to offer was shielded off by my desire to play video games and watching anime, cartoons, TV and porn.

I blinded myself to the good things that went on around me. And now, nine months from my being missing in this world made me realize just how much I was valued. I may not be worth much, but to my family and friends. I was irreplaceable. Now let's include all of the friends I made in Equestria, plus a princess that I would soon be marrying. If I had went missing from there for over nine months...

I selfishly devalued my own existence. Wow... I am dense.

"..." I guess I didn't have much to say then.

"Nondis," Melanie held me and looked into my eyes as she made sure that every word had gotten to my ears. "We care about you. Your mom's been missing you. Hell, I've been beating my own ass for leaving you alone. And I wanna make sure that you see that we do care. If you wanna throw another one of your pity parties-"

I stopped her right then and there. "For what!? Why do I need to feel sorry for myself? Because I missed out on current events?"

She started to chuckle a bit as she released me. "So you don't feel-"

"Why?" I interrupted. "If I felt sorry for myself, then that means everything I did for the past nine months-" I had to stop myself there. I couldn't explain to her what all was going on with me. I just knew that it would be best for me to try and work things out without going into the details of what I went through for the past nine months. How would she even respond to hearing that I was a trained guard in a world of technicolor equines? "Let's just say that I wouldn't be here if I was still feeling sorry for myself."

The girl smiled warmly as she finally wiped the tears from her eyes. "So, where the hell were you for nine months?"

I spent about two hours trying to explain my whereabouts. I didn't want to tell them about Equestria, no matter how easily I could prove it all to be true. The last thing they needed to find out that I was some sort of freak who was getting more-than-friendly with a pony. I guess it would be easier to say that I had gotten washed up in the bayou somewhere in eastern Louisiana. At least then I could cover myself for the nine-month span of my being missing, especially since the search was mainly exclusive to the state of Texas.

After I wove together the details of my story, I checked my phone and saw that my service was long deactivated. Melanie handed me her phone and insisted that I'd call my mom and let her know that her baby was still in one piece.

And it went without saying that I had gotten an earful from dad over my using drugs.

After retelling my story, they decided to come by and pay me a visit in the morning. After I had hung up, Melanie gave me another hug before she finally set off to her new apartment, which I just found out was two buildings down from mine. I guess med students really need their time away from the rowdy uproar of the campus. Rickey stopped Melanie just before she pulled off and told her where I stayed.

She didn't even give it a second thought.

On the ride home, I had told her about my to-do list. I had asked her if she could check out a copy of Farenheit 451, The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, and The Return of the King. I also asked her if I could borrow her set of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I had the boys to lend me their projector for 'Mondo-phi'ed Movie Monday', an event I made up on the spot which was in truth, me fulfilling my promise to Princess Celestia.

When we rode back up to the apartment complex, she showed me the building she stayed at and told me to come by and visit her when I was feeling lonely and in need of talking to someone. After that, I showed her to my building and got out of the car. When I tried to apologize, she told me that I was stupid for even trying. She knew that I felt remorseful for what I said. The only thing she did was hop out of her car, give me a long hug and telling me how she forgave me. She also warned me about playing too much video games.

While notifying me that she'd pick me up in the morning to take me to breakfast, she drove off and left me to return to my room. After cleaning up the rest of my apartment and finding the air a lot more clean, I ran downstairs to pick up my laundry to take back up to my room. By the time I was finished with everything, it was about two in the morning. I started to think about taking my brief exit back to Equestria...

...But my queen-size bed was calling my name!

For the first time in nine months, I didn't let myself become disturbed by a pony wanting to do something for the day. I could actually spread my arms and legs in whatever direction and rolling over without fear of falling off of the bed. I could drool into my pillow and not even feel embarrassed by the servants that came to change the sheets daily. I woke up to the familiar sounds of birds chirping outside my window.

When I opened my eyes, I was somehow expecting myself to look at a high ceiling with crystals hanging over my head. But instead, I just looked at the boring white popcorn ceiling. Instead of curtains lining the side of my bed, it was just open space. Instead of a golden clock with bells, I saw a digital alarm clock that read seven in the morning. I got out of my bed, expecting to look to the far end of my room towards a double door, instead I was looking at my closet and computer. Walking into my bathroom, I could see how different the counter height was in comparison to the one in Equestria.

Man, after nine months of getting used to one thing, it really starts to become awkward to go back.

After a long warm bath, I threw on some clothes and stared back at the bed, wondering if I could somehow fit my mattress into the portal. Like hell I wasn't going to try. For the next half-hour, I spent my time shoving my entire bed through the portal. And thankfully, I came out with success. When Melanie had arrived, I had threw my DVD player into my backpack and hopped into the car.

For breakfast, we went to a local IHOP. She decided to treat me to anything I wanted, but she also instructed me not to eat too heavy for the upcoming meetup at the frat house later on. Apparently, today was the day of the big Red River Rivalry, our annual rivalry match with the University of Oklahoma. Last year, we managed to knock those assholes around a bit, so here's to hoping that the result remains the same.

When we finished up our breakfast, we started to drive towards the frat house for the watch party. As we arrived, Cliff and Rickey pulled me out of the car, put a gorilla mask over my head and guided me towards the back of the house. After I had questioned them over what they were doing, they said that they wanted my appearance to be a surprise. I guess if I was to walk around unmasked, there was a chance that I would be discovered and the surprise would be ruined. At least their plan was well thought-out.

When we had entered into the kitchen, I was given the okay to remove the mask and wait for their instructions to enter. They went on ahead to address the crowd in the other room as I waited in the kitchen. While I waited, I could hear Rickey speak.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my bothers of Delta Phi would like to welcome you to our watch party. Yeah, we know you could drive all the way to Dallas and watch the game for yourself, but that would only mean you'd have to deal with the risk of getting a few tickets to get there. And I don't mean the ones in the stadium either. So if you drove your ass out there and we just so happen to lose, then you gotta deal with those pissed-off troopers on the way back."

I giggled a bit at that. Everyone else also laughed quite a bit.

"So, we're glad you decided to take a chance on us and let us take all your time and money from you. We swear that we won't tie you to your chairs and make you give us more unless we lose, cause then we'd have to pay off a gambling debt to our younger brother Texas A&M. But anyways, we hope that you guys will enjoy the food. Don't eat all the fucking cheese and leave us with the crackers. If you feel like you drank a bit too much, then we'd kindly encourage you to let loose at the Gamma Rho house next door. If you have a desire to break anything, we have Kit-Kat bars you may kindly partake in. If you want to punch someone in the face, please aim at yourself. Drink, love, enjoy yourself, piss-off Sooner fans, GO LONGHORNS!"

A lively crowd cheered in the other room.

"Now, before this game starts, I want to say something. As you all know, for the past nine months we've been looking for a fellow brother of ours. Since January, we haven't been able to get in touch with him. So we sent out a search party that our good friend Melanie was in charge of. Ma'am, sir, on the behalf of Delta Phi, we would like to apologize to you for the events that transpired last semester. We also take full responsibility for what had happened and we have thrown together a suitable amount of money to present this gift to you."

That was my cue. I walked out from the kitchen, down the hall and into the room where the crowd and my parents awaited me.

My mom was the first one to run up to me and grab me. My dad strong-armed me towards him as he got his hug in. Both of them held me, sobbing happily while I threw my arms around them. The crowd around us cheered as they all applauded my return. All the members of the fraternity then decided to throw themselves at us, dog-piling us with hugs and cheers. I didn't think any of us actually cared that the national anthem was playing on the TV. They only had one thing in mind, and that thing was me. They were all happy to have me back. Of course, a few more than others.

I don't think I've ever been moved to tears like this since Sweetie Belle last sang to me.

As the last play of the game played out, we all sat in disappointment over our loss to the Sooners. The final score was a close thirty-one to twenty-six. We were still trying to deal with how close of a game it was. For a moment we all thought that our team would come back and get it in. But sadly, the Sooners showed why they were the eleventh-ranked team in the nation.

The party goers all started to disperse and the fraternity finally showed us the present they were meaning to give to my parents. They had managed to replace the car I drove into the gulf. Of course, meaning that I was back from being missing for nine months didn't exempt me from my father's punishment. He decided to take the car from me and let me go on with walking for a little longer.

I agreed with his punishment. I didn't have a reason to own a car considering that I was now living in another world.

And that's what made this entire thing a little harder to deal with. I could easily keep in mind that I had to keep my upcoming marriage to Twilight a well-kept secret. To them, bestiality was considered a cardinal sin. But that's what I should expect from a pair of bible-toting parents who zealously believed that it would be best for me to go to a Christian College like TCU instead of here.

Hell, the only reason they agreed to it was because I was still within arms reach of them.

The day with my parents and Melanie dragged on. And later, we finally got around to finishing that list I had. By the time we completed everything we needed to do, it was time for dinner. My parents looked at me and Melanie, smiling as they decided to get their time in with me later. Though my dad made a joke about us going on a date, it seemed that I was the main one that flustered. Melanie just simply laughed. So to celebrate the occasion, she took me to a local steakhouse and asked me to order whatever I wanted.

I had concerns for how much she intended to spend on me, but she didn't seem to care. I guess I should take her up on that offer. A nice juicy steak sounded a shit-load better than hayfries right about now.

"So... how does it feel being back in civilization?" She asked as she looked at her menu.

Honestly, I never left. But according to my story, I had. So to keep up with the lie... "I missed eating real food, if that's what you wanna know." I had to apply some of my thoughts on Equestria towards here.

"Yeah, I mean how did you manage to wander from Louisiana, all the way to Texas on foot? Without passing out?"

"I thought I already told you." I answered, paying attention to the illustration of a succulent steak that lied on the menu.

"Yeah. So..." She trailed off, placing her menu down.

"Soooo?" I motioned to her to finish her statement.

"In the time you finished your pledge, I can assume that you must've met some pretty cute girls."

She wasn't lying there. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

One of the waiters approached us and happily took our orders down for us. "Hey guys, I hope that I didn't have you two wait too long. So have you decided on what you wanted?

Melanie closed her menu and handed it to the waiter. "I would like the chicken fajita platter."

"Okay. I'll get that for you. And what would you like to eat, sir?" He asked, turning his attention from her to me.

"I want... the Texas T-Bone please."

"And how would you like your steak?"

"Medium-well, please."

"Okay then. What would you like for your sides?"

"Mashed potatoes and mixed vegetables."

As he finished writing, I handed my menu over to him. "Alrighty then. I'll have these out for you two in a moment."

He walked off, letting the two of us carry on our conversation. Melanie started up first. "So why did you disappear on us like you did?"

"I just... I guess I was feeling like I needed to do something to fit into the whole frat-boy scene. I know, stupid huh?" It turned out to be my best decision yet. It was all thanks to chance that I could go to another world and start over with my life. Even getting a shot at happiness with a girl I'd never thought of meeting.

"Yeah, that's pretty stupid if you ask me."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence?" I said in deadpan.

Melanie pulled out her phone to check the time. Somehow, I had forgotten that I could do that now. Nine months make you forget some of the most routine things you used to do. "So, while you were walking, did you have any thought-provoking moments or life-changing stories you might wanna share?"

Plenty. But I couldn't share what they were exactly. I had to generalize. "Well, I did learn the value of the little things in life. General occurrences that ultimately made me look back at how I was seeing the world. At times, I was so selfish that I wanted everything to work out according to how I wanted it. But with all the strife, I ended up learning that I shouldn't be so hasty to toss things aside, especially when those things were really close to you and could help you out."

Melanie smiled as she looked towards one of the larger television screens on the other side of the restaurant. They were recapping the big game that we lost earlier. "I guess you did learn something."

"So what about you?" I asked. "What have you been up to for the past nine months? Aside from looking for me."

"I changed my major. I'm doing forensic science and criminal justice as a minor."

"Why did you change from medicine?" I asked, intrigued by her choice.

"Well, I had to find you. And not only that, but when you went missing, it put things in perspective. I know how it feels to lose someone close to me and the fear of not seeing them again. So I wanna do all I can to help others find who've they lost. I don't want anyone to experience the stress that I had to go through of losing my best friend."

I guess that's a pretty solid reason. "I'm sorry to put you through that."

"You're here. That's all that matters." She stated, returning her attention to me.

"So... meet any guys? I heard you and Rickey went out."

She scoffed at the mention of dating Rickey. "I was making a huge mistake. He's cool and all, but he's not boyfriend material. I didn't like it when he looked at other girls."

"Looked as in how?"

"You know, checking out their asses, ogling at their tits. Every time I'd call him out on it, he'd say that he was 'looking and not touching'. I already knew then that looking was going to mean that he was leaning towards touching."

"Well, how about now? You're seeing anyone?"

"You know me. I just... I'm not really feeling him as of late. He's not really taking care of me as he should. He's becoming a bit controlling, self-centered, looking at other girls, texting other girls."

I sighed at her confession. This wasn't the first time that this has happened. "Then why are you with him?"

"To be honest, I don't really know anymore. I wanna leave, but I just can't right now."

"And why not?" I asked.

"...I don't know. I guess you could say that I'm looking for the bigger fish to take me in."

And I thought my analogies were weird. "If it's that hard, then leave him now. Wait on the right one to find you rather than you go out to find him."

"How do I know when I found the right one?"

Coming from experience, I already knew. "You'll know in your heart. They'll make sacrifices for you and won't even care about getting anything in return."

She sighed and started playing with her fork. "You sound like Dr. Phil."

"That's just real life. Not something that a TV therapist can tell you. You learn from life and you apply those lessons to all of the future choices you'll make."

"...So how about you? Are you talking with anyone?"

I am. But I can't say who or what she is. She's a different species from me. I had to fight with her older brother just to prove that my love for her was genuine. I had to break the hearts of two other just to have hers. And in the end, we don't have that much time for each other because of my duties as a guard and hers as a princess. A mouthful to say the least, but all of it can be summed up in two words. "...It's complicated."

"So you are talking to someone. What's her major?"

Umm..." Princess of Friendship. How would that translate into the college world? ...Got it. "Social science."

"Does she go to school here?"

"No she goes toooo... UT Arlington." I was an expert at lies.

"Oh. So she's there for the education then. So how did you two meet and when?"

Think Nondis, think. "We met at a party sometime after the probate." Hopefully, that's a story that I don't have to re-verify on a later date.

"So... what's keeping you two apart?"

"...Family. She has an older brother who's not too fond of frat-boys." I guess I could visualize Shining Armor as that kind of guy.

"What's her name."

"Twilight-" FUCK! I wasn't supposed to say her name. "The book... It has her name as the main chick... Bella! Yeah, her name is Bella." That is a sin of sins. Twilight please forgive me.

"Are you lying to me?"

Does a cow says moo? "No. I'm telling you the truth."

She looked at me with a serious expression. "You're not just making this up?"

"No." I stated sternly. "Her brother tried to fight me and even broke my arm. See, I even have this scar where they did the surgery."

I pulled out my left arm and showed the mark of where they fixed the bone in my arm after my duel with Shining Armor. At the very least, I had the scars and marks to make my story seem legitimate. And the best part of it all was that the magic caused the healing process to shorten from a few weeks to a matter of days. She inspected my arm, seeing that the scar was very much there. "Wow. You weren't lying."

Cheesing to myself over the validity of my argument, I pulled back my arm as the waiter came with our food. "Yeah. I don't lie about this kind of stuff."

The steak I ordered was placed directly in front of me. I almost wanted to cry tears of joy over seeing such a large slab of meat sit on my plate in contrast to a gigantic salad. She had received her order as it sizzled in the hands of another waitress.

"Enjoy the meal, you two. I'll be back to check on you guys momentarily."

Oh I was going lick this plate clean.

We finished our meal and left the restaurant, making our way back home. As we rode around, I could see the sun setting in the distance. My mind wandered back to Equestria, seeing that Celestia was probably setting the sun there as well, with Luna raising the moon shortly after. The colors of the sky mixed and mashed into an assortment of pinks, purples and indigos. When she had dropped me off, I had informed her that I would be unavailable for visitation for a week, mainly to get myself used to what I missed out on. I also asked her to notify my parents of my desire to be left alone for the time being so that I could recuperate.

In reality, I was going back to my new home.

She gave me a lengthy hug and said that I shouldn't stay hooked into my games too often. I agreed and grabbed the backpack full of items on my list. When she drove off, I quickly walked up the stairs and grabbed my phone charger as well.

I wanted to at least show Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo what my cellphone looked like. I made that promise to them and I was going to keep it. I also got the books Celestia wanted to read, the projector I could hook my DVD player into, the Lord of the Rings trilogy (both book and movie-wise), a few other tools to put my bed back together and the set of clothes I wore when I came back here.

Thankfully, it didn't take as long to pep-talk myself into walking into the portal. With a heavy breath, I grabbed my things and transferred worlds.

When I had gotten back, I could already see that my bed was missing. I guess it's safe to say that the servants and assistants must've moved it elsewhere. Toting my bag, I walked towards my room. As I walked out of the room and down the hall, I could see two guards standing around, talking to one another.

"Hey boys!" I called out.

"Sir Nondis! We have been looking everywhere for you!"

Somehow that didn't surprise me. "How come?"

"Well, Princess Twilight had requested your presence just this morning. Unfortunately, we couldn't seem to find you all day."

"Well, I'm here. Is there anything she wanted from me?" I asked.

"No. But if you wish to see her, she just went to her quarters. She was also carrying a rather enormous bed with her-"

"Bed... MY BED!?" I exclaimed.

After all the hard work of getting that huge-ass mattress across the portal, I was not going to lay in the same bed I slept in for the past nine months. I bolted down the hall, frantically searching for Twilight. Considering how large it was, it would be likely that she struggled with it. But then again, unicorn magic makes everything a lot easier. After I turned the corner and ran into the familiar bedroom, I could see Twilight starting to change out her mattress for mine. As soon as I busted the doors in and ran inside, she looked at me with shock.

"Nondis! What's up?"

I pointed to the mattress that she was about to place on her bed. "My bed, that's what."

She gave me a rather malicious smile as she walked towards me. "...So this is your bed?"

"Yes." I answered as I started to walk past her to grab it.

Magically halting me just two steps into her room, she giggled playfully as she shut the door behind her. "So this is your bed?"

"Yes. It's my bed."

She flew up to me, placing a hoof on my chest as she became mere inches away from my face. "I don't recall you needing something so big to sleep on. And from the looks of it, you could easily fit two on this."

"Come on, Twilight"

Her hoof started to wander a little lower. Her gaze became lustful as she licked her lips. "So this was the bed you slept on? The mattress you lied on when you let your primal instincts get the better of you? The very same mattress you'd visualize all of your most depraved sexual fantasies on?"

Focus, Nondis. Now was not the time to be getting teased. "Yes. My. Bed."

She stopped shy of my crotch and booped me in the nose three times. "No. It's. Not. This is our bed."

Oh for the love of... She's already taking over the mattress and we haven't even slept in it. "How are you staking a claim to it?"

"Because you're mine. And whatever is yours is mine also."

Now that's just mean. I refused to be bullied out of my bed. I worked too damn hard to get my bed across to this world, and I will be damned if I don't sleep on in for one Equestrian night. "But I wanna sleep on it!" I playfully whined as if I was a child.

"Nope. You'll get to lay on it when I get to do naughty things to you."

Fine, if that's how she wanted to play... "Okay then. You wanna do naughty things with me, then lets do it right now."

She released me from her magic, throwing me towards the mattress on the floor. As she stood over me, she leaned over and kissed my cheek. She nibbled at my ear a bit as she whispered to me. "Okay. I'll play with you... if you can tell me one thing."

Starting to feel a bit excited, I started to let my hands go exploring all over her body. "Okay. You want me to tell you the things you want me to do to you?"

Her magic froze my hands in place as she nibbled against my ear one last time, this time being a tad bit painful.

"No... I want you to tell me about the girl who hugged you in your world."

...Uh oh.

Well here it is, another chapter I was bullied into writing. So now it has come to this. How did Twilight find out about Melanie? How will the others react to this recent development? Will Nondis ever get any play? Stay tuned to find out.

My eyes slowly flutter open. The feeling of a goodnight's rest in one's own bed, it's almost an unfamiliar sensation. But at the same time, I guess you could say that it is indeed familiar. Finally, I'm sleeping in a bed that I don't have to worry about falling off the edge, here in the world of Equestria. My arms and legs shift, brushing against the purple pony that shared my bed.

Yeah, it seems that she decided to take over half of my bed, or rather driving me towards the edge of my side.

Though I could easily disclose my discomfort with having to stand my ground and keep whatever room is left on my side of the bed, I choose not to out of my desire to see her rest. Diplomacy and politics can be a bitch to deal with in the morning hours and she needed all the rest she could get.

I even offered to take myself away from her and drag myself towards the unclaimed edge of the bed. Sadly, she objected to the idea. As we laid in peace, my arms rested over her shoulders and met at her stomach. The soft hairs of her coat brushed against the crevices between my fingers. Her hooves locked me in place as she quietly snored. With each shifting motion made, she'd move herself back towards me. When I had gotten a little hot, I'd back away. When she eventually noticed that I was not as close as before, she'd shift again, driving herself towards me. The cycle repeated itself until we had come to this very moment.

Though I wouldn't complain all that much. I'm sharing a bed with a girl, let alone a princess.

And yet there are still the awkward moments of me getting the occasional boner, thanks to her unknowingly brushing her tail against the crotch of my boxers. And each time I felt a desire to go further, she'd quench that with a rather undignified snort. Every so often, I'd tried to escape my purple pony prison, but I'd find myself still chained to the immense boulder that continues to snore away as she lightly whimpers and jolts in her sleep.

I take a deep breath and let it go, as well as let go of any chance of me getting to the other side of the bed.

Past her disheveled mane and twitching ears, I could see my cell phone on top of the nightstand on the other side of the room. At times like this, I'd usually check the time and see if my mind had somehow shifted the hours forward, despite my lack of sleep. But even that luxury was taken away as she held me as far away as possible from that side of the bed.

We cuddled each other to sleep, but yet I can't seem to get the events from earlier out of my head. It seemed that she had started to become a little obsessive over her time with me... And rightfully so. Her duties as princess has increased with the past few months. Since my training began, she's been running around Canterlot in place of Princess Luna and sometimes Princess Celestia. Add in the time she tries to spend with her friends and her family, and suddenly everything is set off-balance.

She's running around doing all kinds of things, I guess she has to be concerned that my disappearance had caused her to become... suspicious. Not of me, but of other girls and mares. I'm a subject of interest since the news of both my induction into the E.U.P. and defeat of Shining Armor have hit headlines. Add in the fact that I was to be married to Princess Twilight Sparkle, and now I'm a thing on every mare's list.

It seems that many of the mares here were well-acquainted with the saving grace clause.

And that just made Twilight all the more uneasy. I just hope that the stress doesn't affect her health in any way. Just earlier, I had already saw exactly how... concerned she could be.

6 Hours Ago

"I want you to tell me about the girl who hugged you in your world."

I gawked in silence as Twilight stood over me. Rather than smiling like she was just a moment ago, she was almost ready to jump down my throat. Her expression seemed stern as her voice started to sound angry.

"Who was she? I don't know, you tell me." I joked.

Apparently her face wasn't showing any signs of humor. It's obvious that she wanted the truth.

"Okay. She's a friend of mine."

"How close are you two?" She asked me, still standing over me as if she was going to mow me into the ground.

"Twilight, we're just friends."

She squinted her eyes, almost cutting into me with just her looks alone. "There's more to this, isn't there? I want the truth."

Obviously, I wasn't going to make this any easier if I withheld any information. So I decided to come clean. "Well, if you must know, we've been talking to each other since sophomore year in high school. And ever since then, I... I had a bit of a crush on her. But she told me that being friends was all she wanted in this relationship. So I agreed, and we carried on until college."

"...And? What happened then?"

"She and I got into a bit of a spat. I, shamefully, called her out of her name out of frustration. And she left me alone since. She didn't wanna hear from me, that is until I had went missing."

"Missing?"

"Around that time period, I was tossed here somehow. And in the nine months I've been here, I've been considered as missing in that world for the same amount of time."

Twilight removed herself from me, tapping her hoof against her chin. "So their time stream matches up with ours. What's their date in comparison to ours?"

"Same, October 11th. How we count the years there is totally different from here."

"So, what all happened that made you... come here? Did you find that out?"

"The only thing I know was that I was pretty damn close to drowning. My car crashed into the gulf while I was on drugs."

"Drugs?" Twilight asked, seeming disgusted with the mere thought of me engaging in such activity.

"Depression makes the mind do terrible things."

Twilight started to grow concerned. "Why were you depressed?"

"The little spat I had with Melanie."

Twilight, in hearing my reason for going so low, dropped her head in sadness. "...So that's her name? I've heard it before."

"I've probably mentioned her when I made my decision to stay here."

"So why did you leave her?"

I rose from the ground and sat on the bed she still slept on. "She didn't want anything more than to be friends with me."

She took her seat next to me, looking at me. "Why didn't you tell me this story sooner?"

"Personally, I just never had a reason to tell you."

"So... you had a crush on her, she didn't like you back, you got angry and insulted her-"

"It's more than just that. The fight we got into was for another reason."

"So you wanna tell me more about this reason?"

I wanted to put it in a way where I could keep it short and sweet, despite there being nothing sweet about it. "She was angry that I was joining a fraternity."

"That doesn't sound too bad-"

"I was a pledge at the time. So I had to wear a French-maid outfit... with a g-string."

"Okay, that sounds a bit-" Before she could even finish, I pulled out my phone and pulled up a picture of the outfit they made us wear just moments before I put it on.

"Pretty, huh?"

Twilight tilted her head and quirked eyebrow. "You know... I would've like to see you dressed up in that."

SERIOUSLY!? "Wait, what?"

"I think it's pretty kinky. If she didn't enjoy the view, then I would've."

Well... that's different. Somehow I expected her to say that this was way worse than what she'd imagine. Instead, she's getting a rise out of it. "Well, you know. In our society, guys wearing stuff like this is considered as embarrassi-"

And with a light brush of her hoof against the screen, Twilight seemed to turn a different color completely. "WOAH!"

"What?" I questioned worriedly.

She blushed as she levitated the phone and showed me the screen. "Um... yeah, you look pretty alright."

Sitting on the screen was an exact image of me looking at the person behind the photo with a scowl on my face. And of course, I was dressed in full drag, from the makeup on my face to the pedicured toenails. I knew that I had several that I deleted, but I thought that I rid myself of all of the ones of me wearing the outfit. I guess I might've missed that one. I shrieked as I reached for the phone. "I need to delete that!"

"No way!" She argued as she levitated the phone towards her, hugging the photo of me dressed in drag.

"Twilight, please let me delete this."

"No."

I groaned at the thought of the picture still hidden somewhere in my phone. "That picture doesn't need to exist!"

"Too bad. It does and now I'm keeping it."

I tried to tickle her so she could release the incriminating evidence. "No. Give me that phone!"

Twilight teleported away from me and reappeared on the other side of the room. "I will be holding on to the phone for observational reasons. So now you can't delete the picture. HA!"

I ran towards her, trying to grab the phone once more. "Twilight, stop playing these damn games. And what would you even need that picture for?"

"Reasons, that's what."

"Twilight, give me the phone." I ordered, trying to grab my phone from her.

"No." She squeaked out playfully as she flew into the air, getting the phone and her body completely out of my reach.

"You can't have both my phone and my bed. You can only have one or the other."

"Why not both?" She suggested.

That's it. I refuse to play this game of keep-away. This was a game that she was well-equipped to win by default. Throwing my arms in the air and walking towards the door, I decided to abandon the games she kept playing out of built-up frustration. "I'm leaving."

"No!" She shouted as she flew in to pull my shirt.

Freeing myself from her, I walked out into the hallway. "Goodbye, Twilight."

As I started to make my way towards my room, Twilight galloped beside me. "Where are you going?"

"Why do you wanna know?"

She teleported in front of me, stopping me dead in my tracks. "Where are you going?"

Hold on a sec. Did she just... "Why is it so important? I'm just going to my room."

"Can't you just stay with me for a bit?"

"What do you mean? What is it you want?"

"Just stick around, please?"

I've never been so confused. At first she was hounding down my throat over my hugging Melanie, then she wants to keep my stuff, and now she doesn't want me to leave to my own room. Something fishy is going on and I don't like it. "Twilight, what's wrong with you?"

The purple princess walked up to me and nuzzled me passionately, adding further confusion on my part. "I just want you here."

"Why is it that you feel so threatened of me leaving you alone?"

"I... I just want you here with me-"

I backed away from her. "Bullshit. I want the truth."

"Can't you just stay with me for a little while?"

"No, because you're not telling me the real reason you're wanting me to stay." And if she didn't explain why she was so damn moody all of a sudden, I was going to take my leave to my room. I don't know what set me off, but it's like I got upset over something. Maybe it was because she somehow spied on me. Did she even trust me at this point?

"...I just don't want us to grow apart."

"I don't understand. What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I can't just let you wander on your own. In case you haven't noticed, you've been getting a lot of attention since word of our engagement got out."

All because of you deciding to kiss me in front of a crowd of hundreds of boot camp graduates. But still, I have a feeling that her trust for me is at an all-time low. "I don't really see where you're coming from."

"Spitfire, remember her? She's well acquainted with the saving-grace rule, which means she'd be more than willing to help you relieve yourself. But that's not what I want. And now you're hugged up with some other girl that I don't know and... I just can't stand it!"

In speaking of being hugged up... "How did you even know about me and her?"

"You were missing from the palace! When I had sent out a search party for you, nothing turned up. So then I thought that you may have went to spend time with the girls. But when they told me that they haven't seen you since yesterday, I started getting worried. Finally, I came up with a logical explanation of where you might've been. So when I went to see if you had used the portal, that's when I noticed the bed in front of it. That's when I decided to pay you a surprise visit to your world. But when I looked out of the window, that's when I saw you getting out of the car with some girl. Then when you hugged her... I guess I got a little upset."

Well that explains how she managed to find out about Melanie. "So you decided to take my bed to lure me in here so we could have this discussion."

"It's not that I don't trust you, that's the furthest thing from the truth. I just don't trust her."

Somehow, I don't believe that. If she didn't trust any other girl being around me, then wouldn't that implicate that she'd have an issue of trust with me as well? "Why?"

"She's been missing you for nine months, correct?"

"Yeah." I answered, shrugging my shoulders.

"You both got into a big fuss over relationship issues, right?"

"No, we got into a big fuss over my joining a fraternity." I corrected her.

"But she... Nondis, I just can't trust her. The way she hugged you... it was too close."

"How would you even know that?"

"Princess of Friendship? That's in my title. I know when things are crossing the line between friends and lovers. It starts to become... confusing."

I guess that's a point to her argument. And being that she was in-law'd with Cadance, she'd also be able to distinguish relationships to a certain degree. But that still leaves one thing that disproves her theory. "She has a boyfriend. Why would she even be interested in me?"

"You've been absent from her life for over nine months. An absence does tend to make you think on your feelings for that person. What do you think I've been doing when you were away at training?"

Meeting with delegates, speaking with senators and politicians, conversing with lobbyists, doing paperwork, ordering others around, hanging out with the girls, and dream-wandering in Luna's place. "...Princess stuff?"

"That, and having my mind clouded over thoughts of you. We were friends once before, and then we decided to go past that point. All it takes is a single touch, a single moment of prolonged exposure to cause someone to do something that they might regret later. And if that isn't the case, then it usually leads to them finding out certain feelings for you."

Okay. So Twilight thinks Melanie may have developed some feelings for me in my absence. But somehow, I still don't see it. If Melanie really liked me, then she would've dated me a long time ago. But then again, I do have myself to blame, being that I was a bit selfish and naive whenever it came to being in a relationship. And in these past nine months, I have grown from being a social outcast to a person of interest. I managed to cultivate my body and rewire my mind. I'm a lot more confident than before and physically stronger as well.

She might have a point. "So you think Melanie has it out for me?"

"Nondis, 'think' is hardly the term to use right now. I know she does."

"How would you even know?"

"Her arm slid around you as she let go of you. The way she looked at you, seeming as if she was expecting you to do more. She's too clingy to proclaim herself to be 'just a friend'."

I didn't even think that she was so attentive to the hug. I didn't think of it more than just that, a hug. "Okay. Say that she does. But why would it concern you if you know that my heart belongs to you?"

"She used to be your crush, right?"

"Yeah." Back in high school, I was practically placing her on a pedestal atop of a golden alter. 'Crush' was an understatement at the time.

"Old feelings for your first don't tend to die off so easily... Unless they were of the Caramel variety."

She got me there. "Point taken. But I'm over her."

Twilight looked at me, pleading for me to tell her the truth. "Are you sure?"

"I pretty sure I am." I answered.

Though now that I'm on the subject, it makes me think back to the situation I had with Pinkie Pie. In her case, she had met a stallion who was the total package. The only downside was that he was often away due to travel. And then she met me. She started to develop feelings for me and one thing had led to another. Before we even knew it, we were living with one another and she was getting to spend a lot more time with me. And in that time, she fell for me even more. Then she decided to go all-in for me, that is until Cheese showed up. To this day, she has feelings for both me and him. I don't exactly know what all she feels for me now, but I guarantee that her heart still has a place set aside for me, despite the diminished feelings.

Would it be possible that I might still have a thing for Melanie somewhere? Maybe, but I doubt that it'll be a problem for me and Twilight.

"I'll take your word for it. Just make sure that she doesn't take up more time than I do."

I chuckled a bit at her statement. "Are you jealous?"

"Jealous, moi?" She asked as she played innocent.

"Yes." I deadpanned, seeing through her ruse.

"Okay. Maybe a little. But that's only because your friendship with her is deeper than what I'm comfortable with."

Hooray, my first jealous girlfriend moment. Maybe I should go and get the champagne. "Fine. I'll make sure that my time with Melanie won't rack up to the time I spend with you. Deal?"

"Deal. And no other mares."

And I'm convinced that she doesn't trust me. "I still don't see why you're so concerned w-"

"They're trying to find out what makes you so irresistible to me. And naturally, they'd be able to find out about the sexual aspect long before I do."

"Oh, that's true." Especially being that there are no laws in place to keep me from having my way with any other mare or girl I see. As far as they're concerned, I'm still a bachelor until the rings are on display.

"Okay. Now can we please go back to my room? I really would like to have my wings massaged." The purple princess requested as she unfurled her wings.

I shook my head. "So what, I'm your slave now?"

"...Maybe." She joked causing me to start walking towards the opposite direction. "No, I was just kidding! Come back!"

As she leapt onto my back, clenching me with her hooves, I stumbled a bit from the unexpected load being placed on me. I turned back to the playful princess as she gave me a kiss on the cheek. Suddenly, a thought popped up in my mind. "Didn't you say that you would do me a favor after you came back from Canterlot?"

She let loose a heavy sigh and gave me back my cellphone. "Tomorrow. I promise."

After I had gotten a vocal confirmation, I decided to piggy-back her to her room. Smiling and humming gleefully, Twilight rocked her head back and forth as if she was a filly anchored on the shoulders of a giant. As I opened the door, I still saw my mattress lying on the floor. "You know I'm gonna have to take this back to my room." I stated.

"Why?" She questioned as she climbed back down.

"Well, I didn't bring it here for me to not sleep on."

Throwing the sheets and pillows off of her bed, she turned back to levitate the large mattress off of the floor. "Well, then sleep with me."

Pony says what? "What now?"

Just as quickly she tore the bed apart, she threw the undersized sheets on the mattress and made a palette for the two of us. After fixing the pillows, she jumped back on top of the bed and patted an empty space next to her.

"Pretty please?"

The Next Morning...

The sun wasn't as bright as it would normally be. This morning, the sky seemed to be a little clouded. I guess there's supposed to be a storm scheduled for today, either that or maybe there's an overcast to kinda regulate the temperatures from getting too high. It is October after all.

"Aw geez." I mumbled to myself as I noticed that I was literally teetering off of the edge of the bed.

Twilight was pressed against me even closer than before. Her hooves had went from locking me in place to simply holding my arms close to her. She still stirred a little as I laid beside her. My eyes started to wander around the room. Her room was much bigger than mine. Her ceiling was higher than mine, her chandelier was larger,and her bathroom's enormous as hell. I have a window where she has a balcony. Even parts of her ceiling had skylight windows installed where mine was just solid crystal.

I've been in here before, but never really took in just how big it was in comparison.

Starting to feel my weight sink towards the edge, I decided that it was time for me to get up and moving. I pulled myself up from the warmth and comfort of the bed.

"Nnngh... please... don't."

My eyes widened a bit as her hooves went back to locking around my arms. But instead of just simply locking in place, they actually pulled me closer towards her. Attempting to pull myself out of her grasp, I started to contend for my freedom. But her whimpers pleaded me to do otherwise.

"You can't... Don't leave... You can't leave me..."

Was she having a nightmare? Her hooves now frantically clasped around my arms, pulling and tugging at me as if she was trying to get me to do something. The way she started to pull my arms, the pressure it produced in certain spots, it started to become physically painful. I opted to wake her from her dream.

"Twilight."

"No you can't-"

"Twilight!" I called out a second time, shaking her to wake her.

She stopped shifting and calmed down for a moment. Her grasp loosened and her hooves started to rub the length of my arms. She pressed herself against the two limbs that cradled her. Her cheek was obviously stained with tears. I didn't seem to understand what had happened to cause her to become like this. She pulled away and turned herself over to face me.

"Twilight, you okay?" I asked.

The only response I was given was a pair of hooves clasping my cheeks as she tenderly placed her lips upon mine. Her forehead rested against mine after the short exchange. Her eyes were slightly reddened from her crying. She sighed in relief as she held me. "I am. I just needed to wake up to you."

"Did you have a bad dream?" I inquired, hoping that she'd tell me what she was dreaming about.

She shook her head, smiling at me. "It's nothing."

"Sure seemed like something to me." I stated, still feeling the bit of soreness in my arms.

"It doesn't matter. I got what I wanted today."

"And that was?" I asked.

"I got to wake up to you." She whispered.

"Twilight, that was the cheesiest thing you've ever said to me."

"Shut it. Now kiss me, your princess demands it."

Rolling my eyes, I complied with her request. Our lips briefly touched as we heard a knock at the door. She lightly tapped me on the nose and rose out of the bed to answer the door. "Who is it?"

"Twilight, did any word of Nondis come up?" Rainbow asked through the door.

"I'm fine!" I hollered back out.

"Well open this door so Ah can knock the fine right out of you, mister! Y'all don't go round 'n gettin' us worried like that, ya hear!?" Applejack scolded through the door.

"We were really worried since you went missing! I even called a few of my animal friends to help find you!" Fluttershy stated.

"I'm good! I just went back to my place for a bit." I confessed as I got up and walked over to the nightstand to grab my phone.

"Your place?" Rarity questioned, sounding confused.

"You went back to your world?" Pinkie asked.

"I thought you went to Baltimore!" I called back out to Pinkie.

"Uh, doi! I stayed around to help look for you! And the place is called Baltimare!"

"Oh, right." Careful Nondis, your human world is showing. "Sorry."

Twilight opened the door to let all of the girls in. Even Cadance stood at the door.

"Cadance? What are you doing here?" I asked, bewildered to see her here in Ponyville.

"Well, Twilight wrote me and told me that you pretty much disappeared off the face of Equestria. I'm just glad you're safe. After all, I couldn't let Shining sit in the room and cry about you."

"Excuse me?" Shining asked as he stormed from the hallway and into the room. "Crying over who?"

"Now I can understand your wife being here, but why you?" I asked the stallion.

"Dipsh-" He glanced back at Applejack and grimaced a short while. I guess even he didn't want to get nagged on by her. "Dummy, you're a guard. Remember that?"

"Oh yeah." I guess that would be a concern if one of his guards had went missing. It could pose a serious security threat providing that certain conditions were met.

"Well at least I know you didn't turn traitor on us." He joked.

"No. I just went back to my world to grab a few things."

Pinkie jumped front and center. "Ooh! What kind of things!?"

I pulled out my cell phone and pointed at her. "Smile!" I said as I tapped on the screen.

She wore a huge, cheek-busting grin and showed the whites of her teeth my phone made a shudder noise. "Is that some sort of camera?"

Twilight walked beside me and looked at what I was really doing. "Quit recording video of Pinkie."

Somehow, I had forgotten that she had limited knowledge of human technology and how it worked. Pinkie then jumped in excitement and bounced beside me. "Video?"

"Yup. And it can take pictures too." I answered as I tapped the screen to stop the video from recording.

"Wowwie! What is that thing!?" She said as she watched me pull the video I just recorded back up.

"It's a cell phone." Twilight began to explain. "In the human world, they use it to communicate with one another. They can also use it to take pictures, videos, record audio, jot down ideas, read off recipes-"

"Upload pictures to Instagram, rant and complain on Twitter, fuss and bitch on Tumblr, play games, video ch-"

"Hold on a second!" Pinkie interrupted. "Did... you just say... 'play games'?"

I think I may have made a critical mistake here. That was a point that I clearly didn't need to introduce. But I guess some men want to watch the world burn. So let's see how far this goes. "Yeah. But..."

"But what?" The pink pony asked as she leaned in closer.

"But it was designed for humans. You know, fingers and all." I said as I tapped the screen to begin the playback.

"Aww. That's mean." Pinkie said in a mopey tone. But her sadness soon subsided as the video of her played back as it did just mere seconds ago. "But that's so awesome!"

"Let me see!" Rainbow Dash asked as she flew over to see the video.

"I hope you don't mind me watching." Fluttershy added.

"For such a small device to perform a task that's designated to much more expensive and bulkier equipment, this is a technological feat that I would say dwarf even our own advancements!" Rarity proclaimed.

"Does it tell you anything about produce and agriculture?" Applejack asked.

"On my world, where it has a signal, it can tell you the weather."

"Big deal! I could tell you the weather!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"Okay, take for instance the weather above Everfree Forest. How the clouds move on their own, how the temperatures regulate themselves. That's like that all over my world. No one regulates the weather. Nature does what it does all on it's own."

The other ponies just stared at me silly. Even Shining Armor was amazed. "How does that even work?" He asked.

"Well, as you can tell from me, we don't have magic. Instead, we have science and technology."

"On the human world," Twilight took over from there. "There isn't magic like ours. So they have machines made to predict the weather patterns so that they can properly plan for anything. Even tornado hotspots are predicted minutes before they even touch down. They may not be able to manipulate their weather, but they have made a living off of their chaotic world."

"I see..." Shining started to rub his chin at the thought of being able to live in a place where even the most devastating weather patterns can sneak up on you. "Sounds kinda dangerous."

"Meh, it's okay." I said, shrugging it off.

"So..." Cadance started wear a devious smile. "If that could take pictures, could it take pictures for... reasons?"

"As a matter of fact," Twilight began. "There's even this one picture of Nondis where he's wearing a-"

"TWILIGHT!" I screamed out, trying to silence her on the matter. Even my heart sank as I forgot to delete the picture yesterday, even after it was brought up. I guess I was distracted.

"What? I thought you looked cute in the French-maid outfit."

"SAY WHAT!?" Shining blurted out before he busted out laughing.

"Oh, Ah gotta see that!" Applejack said as she reached out for my phone.

A light blue flame encircled my phone as it floated over towards Rarity. "I'm sorry Applejack, but if he wishes to not disclose such intimate apparel, then it's his... oh my... Now that is quite dashing."

"GIVE ME THAT!" I said as I tried to grab the phone from Rarity, which then found itself being taken in by Cadance's magic.

"Oh, you look so cute in this. But I bet that my husband pulls it off so much better."

Shining blushed as his ears fell at the mention of the outfit. "Cadance, can we talk about that later?"

"What? I was just talking about the time during our honeymoon where you wore this tight little, see-through lingerie I got you."

"CADANCE!"

My phone soon found itself back into my possession, after Twilight politely closed the file. "Okay, let's not go into details of what my brother was wearing. I don't need the image of him wearing fishnet stockings and lipstick in my head. And for your information, Cadance, Nondis can, has, and will always wear it better than Shining."

"Is that so?" Cadance asked with a coy smile.

"Bet on it." Twilight said with a cocky grin.

This is getting ridiculous. I need a drink. "Shining, where's the nearest liquor cabinet?"

"Down the hall, make a left past the library, third door to the right, pull the golden lever shaped like Twilight beside the desk. If you want ice, then place a book on the coaster right beside the lever."

I performed an about-face and made my way towards the door. Shining didn't hesitate to follow after me. "Bitchin'. Let's go get that drink."

"Right behind you."

Both Shining and I took it upon ourselves to take to the hidden bar that was installed just a few months prior to my coming here. I asked him why he installed one, his response was so he could one day share a drink with his overly-stressed sister. It was a kind thought, but sadly it would never come to fruition. Especially being that Twilight swore off of drinking after her first hangover. So I guess this was the first time since it's installation that it's been used.

You know, I have no problems in being the recipient of that honor.

Shining pulled up a chair and swirled his glass of Applejack Daniels as he looks into the glass. I took a sip from mine, experimenting how the beverage would taste on ice. Amazingly, there was far less of a burn in my throat. Instead, I started to enjoy a smooth taste, the flavor being a lot more distinct in comparison to the flame-fest that Shining caught himself enjoying.

I never did like drinking barrel-proof liquor straight.

That disparity aside, he started to relax. I could already see the sense of relief washing over him. In truth, that same wave had hit me as soon as I walked in the room. No longer did I have to sit in a room with my fiancee as she discussed with my soon-to-be-sister-in-law how I could wear ladies brazier and undergarments better than her husband could. That was a debate that neither I nor Shining would be willing to partake in, especially in front of five other mares. At this point, I'm trying my best to block out the images of him dressed in see-through panties and lacy stockings. And even that thought brought up the unsightly mental image of Discord wearing a sukumizu holding a ball-gag and a power drill. It makes me wonder, was he the one wearing the ball-gag and the drill was actually-

Yup. I need to down this whole bottle.

"Hey, Shining?"

"Yeah." He answered casually.

"Got any more of these?"

He started to giggle a little at my question. "Don't you think it's a bit early to be getting your ass planted against the ceiling?"

"I have some disturbing thoughts in my head. And I want to make sure that my brain can't see nothing but pink shit marching across the room."

"Yeah, you'll have moments like that. But try to moderate. I still need you conscious."

"Shit. I didn't take you for a careful drinker."

He hummed as he took a sip from his glass. "I wasn't always one."

"Really?" I asked, suddenly intrigued by what he meant.

"They say that the booze helps the pain go away. You know, bad memories?"

Then again, I forgot that he's the Captain of the Guard. That means his position had to have come with some really dark corners, corners that he'd try his best to keep hidden. Military was never really as simple as serving one's country like they say it is. Sometimes, you have to take another's life. And when you take that life, you hear them screaming in pain as it takes place... That's a little darker than what I wanna think about. Changing the subject.

"I guess that makes sense. Back in my world, we'd use it for recreational fun."

Shining went back to swirling his glass. "Don't get me wrong. We can party our balls off too. It's just with all the responsibility of being Captain and Prince of the Crystal Empire, I had to learn how to slow down."

"Public opinion?" I inquired, tilting my glass at him.

"You could say that."

"Cadance on your case?"

"Are you kidding? Cadance takes bottles to the head without breathing."

I chuckled a little. "I guess she got that deep-throat game down packed."

Shining took a brief moment to gush. "Like you wouldn't believe. That mare is crazy."

"Really? But I thought that princesses were-"

"Cute and innocent? Prim and proper? Above living out their lives and fulfilling their most primordial desires? Please. I won't speak for Twily, she'll tell you herself. Celestia, she's enigmatic when it comes to the subject of sex. Princess Luna enjoys voyeur. Cadance is a party animal and a freak in the stack, she's that wild mare-next-door that has multiple facets."

"Or layers." I added.

"Yeah. It's like the deeper you go, the more you find out. Like for example, despite her outward appearance being cute and cuddly, did you know she was actually trained as a guard?"

My jaw nearly shattered from hitting the ground so hard. "Seriously!?"

"Yeah! It turns out that she's the adventurer-type. Not only that, but she's a bit of an adrenaline junkie."

"So I guess you two are alike." I stated, causing the stallion to shake his head.

"Not really. In fact, I'm usually the one that has to keep her out of trouble."

"So you're the leash that keeps her anchored in place? I kinda thought that it would be the other way around, being that you're a guard and all."

"Nah. I mean it's fun to go out venturing once and a while, but she wants to do shit that could possibly kill her."

"And you stuck your dick in crazy for what now?"

Shining threw back his glass and took in the remnants of the brown liquid. "Exactly that. She was so wild and carefree. I knew in my heart that I had to tame her. Though I've failed to do so, I still have pride in knowing that I did manage to cage her in. She had lived this double life for years and years on end. She went from foalsitting Twily to knocking off heads in the snow. She may look pretty and pink, but she doesn't play when it comes to a fight."

"So... Any foals?"

"Nah. Not right now. I'm too busy enjoying myself. At least give me another year or two of sabotaging her royal pinkness and then we can talk about foals."

I started to laugh. "Sabotage? Are you hitting it that hard?"

Shining groaned in playful agony. "Rather the other way around. She doesn't know what a quickie is. The only thing she knows is passionate love making and ravenous sex. Neither of those takes less than five minutes."

"Damn, she'd make a hell of a sorority girl." I mumbled as I took another sip, emptying my glass.

"That's the only thing she didn't do. College was too, quote-unquote, high risk for a princess to attend."

"High risk?" I asked.

"Too many stallions running on hormones, colts trying to build herds, all that other good stuff."

Now that he mentioned it... "They do have a point. Fraternities can be a breeding house if you get the girls interested enough."

"How would you know about the fraternities?"

"Well... I'm kinda in one."

Shining casually placed his glass on the counter and placed his full attention at me. "You? Fratboy? I didn't take you for one to be interested in that kind of stuff, let alone joining one."

"Well, I did it for a stupid reason. Can't say that I've fully regretted it yet, though." I admitted as I poured more whiskey for myself.

"Wow... Who'd thought you'd be sporting colors?"

"Colors?" I asked curiously.

"Each fraternity has it's own set of colors here. Don't they have colors where you're from?"

"Yeah, but we have Greek lettering for ours, so we'd call them Letters."

"Oh. That's different."

"Yeah. A little."

A short period of silence ensued. The only sounds that continued to resonate throughout the room was the sound of us sipping on our drinks, the clanking of our glasses, Shining's grunts when he downs a significant amount of liquor, and the occasional sigh.

"Hey." Shining was the first to break the silence. "Let's talk."

"About what?"

Shining took a brief pause. "...What happened a few months back."

I shook my head. "Don't even trip. You were running off of anger."

"Exactly. I was pissed and I strangled you. Not to mention all of the times I decided to make your life a living hell afterwards."

An apology. I'm actually quite shocked. "Well... I mean... We've gotten past this already, didn't we?"

"We'll set up a rematch for next week, but aside from that... I made some mistakes and abused my power for the sake of breaking you and my Twily apart. And sometimes I didn't even take into consideration about how she felt about all of this. I made her uncomfortable... and my wife extremely angry. All because I forced you to give me a half-assed answer."

"That part's on me."

"No, it's not. I screwed up and I let my own selfish insecurities, as well as my desire to be protective of my little sister, get in the way of your relationship with one another."

Honestly, I didn't think he'd actually try to apologize for the stunts he pulled. And if anything, the shit I went through because of him actually helped me become who I am as of this moment. I can fight, I can stand up for myself, I have proven to myself that I could overcome significant odds. It was because of him that I was able to call myself a guard. All I needed was that aggravating push in the right direction, and he gave me just that. He made me angry enough to want to change, to want to drive and succeed in what I do. That was just who he was. Granted he tried to kill me once, but that only made me stronger, smarter, and a lot more patient. In reality, I didn't want his apology.

"Just quit it."

Shining stared back at me, confused as I took another sip of my drink. "Huh?"

"You know what you did was wrong. And you know that Twilight didn't approve of what you did. Hell, I was inches away from death's door because of you."

"That's why I'm trying to apologize."

"Don't." I answered sternly.

"Why not?" He asked out of frustration.

"Because I've learned so much from you. Despite your desire to break me, you've only molded me into something that I didn't expect myself to become in all the years of my life. You've made me see that being passive-aggressive in certain situations would get me nowhere. You pissed me off enough to actually become more of a man. You made me become this mentally-sound character that could also boast some pretty decent physical strength. It's because of you that I'm a guard, soon to be wedded to your sister whom I love. So please don't take any of that back, not from me."

Shining stared back into his glass, almost as if he could see another world at the bottom. "I didn't think you would be so forgiving."

"Now I didn't say that I forgave you just yet. But eventually, I might."

The stallion scoffed a bit. "Just make sure you don't keel over before you do. Otherwise, I'd drag you back from hell and beat it out of you."

I giggled at his threat, knowing that he'd be the type to do just that. "I can actually see that happening."

"Good. Now, a toast."

Our glasses raised. His was enveloped in his magic while mine was firmly holstered in my hand. They clanked against one another as I cried out. "May I always kick your ass in every spar."

"You got that ass-backwards, dumb fuck."

We downed our drinks and shared a laugh with one another. At least I have a drinking partner alongside this rivalry. I'm perfectly fine with that.

"So... did Celestia take it easy on you since I left Canterlot?" I questioned.

"Nah." He answered, pouring himself another drink. "She's still making me do the bathrooms. I've got three more weeks left before I'm relieved."

"I guess you'll be happy then." I joked at his expense.

"Maybe. I'd actually be just a prince by then."

I refrained from taking another sip from my newly-poured glass of whiskey. Unable to contemplate the words he just said, I stared back at him. "What?"

"Yeah. Celestia's making me resign after my month's done."

She's WHAT!? "¿Por favor, perdoname?"

"Yeah. She's letting me go. She got really angry about the me holding letters thing, that and the transferring myself to supervise your company."

Damn. That hurts. I at least wanted to warrant myself a competitor of the Captain of the Guard. Now he wasn't even going to be that for very long. I ended this guy's career... More of him ending it because of what he did to me, but I was a catalyst nonetheless. "I'm... so terribly sorry."

"Shut it. That's what I was supposed to be saying." He snapped back at me.

"So what are you gonna do now?" I didn't see him doing much if he was going to be a prince. Blueblood's a prince and even I didn't hear about him until six months in. Would he too fade into some sort of obscurity?

"Well, I'm still married to Cadance. So I guess I'm gonna be looking over Crystal Empire affairs from here on. Hooray for listening to the bureaucrats and politicians all day."

Damn, that's a death penalty. I gotta at least let him keep his job. Besides, I've already beaten him in combat. How much more shame can a guy handle? "You think she's up for suggestions?"

"Are you saying that you'd defend me, in spite of all of the shit I put you though?"

"Are you saying that all of the shit I went through to become a better man was for nothing?" I asked right back.

"I'm not saying that, but-"

Both Shining and I turned to the door. The two of us almost drew our weapons, and had it not been for the two guards entering, we would've brandished them in defense. Though our reason to unsheathe them would've been justified as one guard held the other up. The other guard spattered in blood staggered forward as he attempted to speak.

"Cap...tain..." He sputtered weakly as he coughed up a bit of blood. Immediately, Shining and I tended to his wounds. As I walked up to him, I could see very well that he was one of the same stallions I graduated with from basic training. He struggled to breathe as he writhed in discomfort.

"Easy, Spade." The other stallion whispered as he tried to calm the wounded guard.

"What the hell happened?" Shining commanded he and the other guard laid him against the ground.

"We were ambushed. Canterlot's under siege. He was wounded as he was trying to notify you. So I assisted him to get him here."

I took off my shirt and tore it into pieces as I attempted to suppress the bleeding. As I held against his side, my hands quickly became tainted with the murky red stains of the stallions life-force. I tried my best to apply pressure to the wound, but with the way he was shivering, I knew that he had lost too much blood already. It wouldn't be long.

"Brigadier... General... Nnngh-" He tried his best to speak through the pain. "Assassinated.... Killing... others of... high rank.... Active and retired... at risk...."

The stallions pupils started to dilate, meaning his vision had started to fade. "Stay with us, Spade!"

"Highs... did... I do good...?"

"You did fine. Just stay with us. Focus."

"Who did this?" Shining asked, gaining no response from the wounded guard. "Spade!"

It was too late... By the time Shining had asked his question, he had already drew his final breath and left this world. I was now holding onto the wounds of a dead stallion. My hands slowly pulled away from the nouveau dead guard. A distant, yet relaxed expression remained on his face as he stared into oblivion. And sadly, death doesn't come with dramatic music. My hands turned slowly to see the crimson coating still fresh on the surface. A gut-wrenching sickness started to manifest as my hands shook in fear.

I never knew that death would be so horrifying to see in person.

I blankly stared at the lifeless body before me, all while Shining shook me. "Nondis! Nondis, get up!"

With a blink, I was brought back to current time. I looked to Shining, who wore a demonic scowl on his face as he placed his hoof over the eyes of the stallion. As he pulled it back, Spade's eyes were firmly closed.

"Who did this?" I whispered quietly to myself.

"If you were paying attention, you'd know that the Changelings were attacking Canterlot. Now ready up, we're moving out!"

"What about Spade?" I asked distantly, still finding it difficult to process in my brain that he was dead.

"He's gone! Now let's go before we lose any more lives!"

He and I walked out of the room, marching down the hall at an expeditious pace. As we moved along, we saw the spatters of blood that trailed from where he walked. When we had turned down the hall, we could see Twilight and the others all looking around to see what was going on. The trail of blood ran through this hall as well.

"Cadie, I need you to take care of a guard in the room down the hall."

"What's his status?" The pink princess asked.

"K.I.A.."

Rainbow Dash closed her eyes in reverence to the news. "That's bad news."

"What's bad news?" Fluttershy asked timidly, already scared of seeing blood all over the floor.

Cadance started to walk towards the room we had just left. Meanwhile, she had started to issue out orders. "Twilight, I need you to go alongside your brother. Rainbow Dash, I need you to keep the girls in the room until I can get this mess cleaned up. Shining Armor-" She turned back to him. "Come back to me in one piece. I made a vow that I would love all of you, don't go losing bits and pieces."

"Got it."

"No orders for me?" I asked.

"Twilight's got that covered. I know you can handle it, little sis."

Twilight hardened herself almost as much as her brother did. I don't think I've ever seen her this... scary. Even her wings seemed to become pointier than usual. Her ears peeled back as she marched forward alongside her brother. "What's the status report?" She demanded.

"Changelings again. They're offing every high-ranked official, enlisted or retired."

Twilight started to gallop at full speed. "Then we need to hurry."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Shining went after her, leaving me to run behind the two.

Those two seemed really angry about this. I can understand that this was an attack on their country, but it appeared that it was more than the changelings attacking a city. From what I remember, Canterlot is their home city. So I could understand them becoming a bit angry over the subject.

That means that I should do everything in my power to help, no matter the costs.

"I need to go to my room and get something." I said as I remembered that I was without a shirt.

"Well hurry up!" Twilight ordered. "We're not gonna lose our dad for you to change clothes! We're going on ahead!"

"Dad?" I asked.

"Dad used to be Captain before Twily was born. He retired early to take care of the both of us." Shining explained further.

"And we won't lose him to them. So hurry up!"

So the Changelings have invaded Canterlot in an attempt to decapitate the ranks so that order falls apart. And now, innocent lives are at risk as well as those of the elderly and weakened. That means we'd need to quickly neutralize the threat by any means necessary. In that case...

I tried to end this one as ambiguously as possible to leave you guys to think about what would happen next. Once again, trying new things and seeing how they would work in the context of the story. If you want to find out what he's thinking, then stay tuned to the next chapter.

The train continued to chug along as Twilight looked outside of the window towards the besieged city. I couldn't see much of her face, but I knew that anger was the main expression she wore. Her ears folded back as her hoof tapped impatiently against the seat she sat on. She releases a frustrated sigh as she continues to keep her eyes locked onto the mountainside.

Shining, on the other hand, was busy sharpening his sword. With each few seconds, a metallic scraping sound could be heard as he brushed the blade against a smooth stone. With each flick, with each scrape, I could already see his growing desire to plunge the sharpened tool into one's side or throat. I don't think it was the fact that he was holding a weapon that intimidated me the most, but rather the calm, emotionless demeanor that sat upon his face. It was almost like he didn't care about taking a few lives. I get that he may have grown used to it, but it still creeps me out.

I'm sitting in the back of the train, looking at the two siblings as they both watched their home city being attacked from a distance. Two royals who despised the very race we were set to confront. Twilight didn't seem like she was too worried back at the palace as soon as she saw blood on the floor. Instead, it was almost like she had gotten used to it herself. Then again, if Cadance was trained to be proficient with a weapon, then it could also be the same with Twilight.

That thought just terrified me.

Twilight, the kind and gentle mare that would always do whatever she could to make me happy, to give me time when she had none for herself, my fiancee... To think of her simply carving her way through countless bodies to reach me. It would be terrifying to see her covered in blood as she walked towards me, hoping that I would kiss her shortly after. But then again, I'd have to keep in consideration that she'd only go so far if it was indeed necessary.

It's not a foreign thought to protect what you love. And in this case, it was no different. They had a father who was a retiree of a very prominent position. And if Spade─may he rest in peace─was right, then that means that he was just as wanted as the enlisted higher-ups were. And I'm pretty sure that the thought of losing their father was motivating them to cut and carve their way through the city to make sure he was safe.

Meanwhile, I'm just as out of place as a rainbow elephant in a room full of gray furniture. I couldn't really be of much help aside from batting down whoever I came across... That just made me think about something.

In order to make it out of this scuffle alive, I'd have to kill someone.

Yes I know that I'm not killing a human being, so my conscious should be eased, right? I'm a human, so what does a few kills of something that's not of my own species would equate to? Nothing, that's what. If I wanna run around and hack away at whatever runs at me, I should be able to do that with no problems whatsoever. As long as it isn't human, then I shouldn't harbor too much guilt, right?

If only it were that easy.

When Spade died, I was there to help usher him out. And in the end, he felt a desire to know if he had performed his duties to it's completion. He wanted closure so badly that he wouldn't have left this world peacefully without having it. Now imagine had he never completed his task, had he been left to die at the mercy of a species that sought to kill and destroy everything that he stood for. I could already see the twisted expressions on his face, the look of abject horror as he drew his final breaths, knowing that he'd die without being held, dying alone with no one to recognize him, to leave this world without any closure and with fear of that circumstance, that very same fear making you cry out as they did whatever they wanted to you.

Now I can truly understand my grandfathers strife with the past, how Shining feels when he wants to drink the pain away.

So I'm sitting in the back, watching the two ponies do what they were doing a few minutes ago, what they've been doing for the entire train ride. I looked back down to the sword sitting casually on my lap. I could easily trace out the intricate details of the scabbard that housed the blade, curling my fingers alongside each crevice and shape to help me pass the time. But before I could, the train screeched to a sudden halt. My head jolted up and my hand pulled the sword and scabbard away from my body as I prepared to draw.

Shining and Twilight looked to one another and nodded silently as they each took to a door on either side of the train. I quietly unsheathed my sword and waited patiently on their move. My eyes cut across the cart we stood in. To my left I could see off of the mountain we were placed upon. And just a couple of yards, I could see the edge of the cliff. To my right, I could see a shadow approaching the window. It moved rather quickly as it closed in on us.

"INCOMING! THREE O'CLOCK!"

Twilight and Shining looked back over to my position as I readied myself for what ever came at us. Twilight's eyes widened as she saw the dark blur making a beeline for me. "Nondis!"

The window broke, letting a smoke-gray creature in. As I ducked away from the shards of broken glass, I could see that the creature was some sort of equine. Yet at the same time, it had the same wings as a fly. Even it's coat looked hardened in comparison to the equines I've come across. It hissed loudly as it leaped towards me. I pulled myself up, picked up my sword and started to drive the creature back. As I did, more crashed into the train cart in an attempt to ambush Twilight and her older brother.

A bad decision on their part.

Twilight turned around and gave two a magical bolt of energy to the face as Shining punched another back out the window it came from. The one I fought continued to snap it's jaws at me while I slashed and thrusted my blade to keep it at bay. Shining magically pulled one of the creatures towards him as he held his sword out to welcome it's victim. Twilight drove a powerful hoof into the side of another, causing it to buckle down in pain. As it laid on the ground, she raised herself to her hind legs and let her body weight shift towards her forelegs as she aimed for the creature's head. The creature I still fought snapped and snarled as I waived my sword at it.

I wasn't intending to kill it, but it was making it really hard not to. When I swung my sword at it again, the insectoid equine pounced on top of me, bearing it's fangs at me. I raised my weapon to fend it off when it doubled back to bite at me. I raised my sword to hopefully deter it to pull back. Unfortunately, it was far too late for the creature to pull away. Unwittingly, I plunged the blade deep into it's chest. The creature stood over me, hissing and coughing as it continued to plunge itself deeper on my blade. When it's teeth was mere inches away from my face, I could already feel the warmth of it's blood trickling all over my hands and onto my chest through my shirt. The creature finally stopped breathing and became nothing more than a dead weight on my weapon. I kicked it off, shaking with horror as I entertained the thought of it trying to eat me.

"WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT FUCKING THING!?" I screamed as I trembled a bit from the unusual experience.

"A changeling." Shining Armor confirmed. "These are the things that are attacking all of Canterlot."

"IT TRIED TO EAT ME!"

"Well," Twilight began. "Now that you know what we're going against, I guess you won't be so reserved the next time."

I'm still shaking from staring at the open jaws of a creature that I didn't know about until moments earlier. "THAT MOTHERFUCKER TRIED TO EAT ME!"

"Nondis, calm down." Shining suggested as he started to survey if any of the creatures had survived.

"CALM DOWN!? THAT FUCKER TRIED TO HAVE ME AS A SNACK! I'M NOT GONNA GO OUT LIKE THAT!"

Twilight wiped her hooves clean by summoning a rag. Shortly afterwards, she walked over to me. Twilight held me towards her as she spoke. "Nondis, I need you to calm down. No, there's no way that I'm gonna let you get hurt."

"THEN EXPLAIN WHY IT TRIED TO EAT ME!"

Twilight sighed as she stared at the corpse of the changeling I slayed. "Changelings bite are venomous, and what it does is that it will try to paralyze the muscles of the body for a short period of time. If it paralyzes the head or the neck, then you would be in some serious trouble. But aside from that, Changelings do not eat meat... unless when extremely starved."

Like that makes me feel any better. "That's nice to know. But that still doesn't help me get over the fact that one tried to sink it's teeth into my skin... And for that matter, how do we know that they aren't extremely starved now?"

"Well either way, it's dead." Shining concluded as he walked towards the one I stabbed. "So it won't be biting you for a while."

"And again, I'm perfectly fine with that. But what about the others?"

Shining turned back to me. "Well in that case, you'll have to do the only thing that's available to you. You either kill them, or be killed by them. The choice is yours."

"Shining!" Twilight called out sternly, upset by the brashness of his statement.

"He's right." I admitted, finally accepting that I might have to take a life to spare my own in this situation. "I can't fuck around." Giving myself a few slaps to whip myself back into shape, I shook my head and got my mind back on track to the task at hand. "I gotta do this."

"Nondis, you don't have to go as far as we do. We've gotten used to it already." Twilight argued as I started to make my way towards the door leading outside.

That was a shot to my pride. "And let me sit around as my princess girlfriend knock heads with the Changelings? If I'm gonna get approved, then I need to step up to the plate."

"Nondis, there's nothing heroic about doing something that-"

"Are you two done?" Shining interrupted as he opened the door to step outside. "Because if you're not, then I'm just gonna go on ahead and meet up with you in the city."

Twilight stopped and stared at me as she took a moment to think. "Nondis, I need you to secure this train. If there are any passengers on board, you need to liberate them at all costs."

"But what about-"

"We'll go to Canterlot and help out there. It won't take us long. Between the two of us as well as Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, we'll be done in a short while."

"But Twilight-" I was silenced by a pair of lips clenching against mine. Twilight pulled off of me as quickly as she threw herself at me.

"I don't want you getting hurt. It's not that I don't trust your skills, you're a very talented fighter. But I can't risk losing you. You're the only human here in Equestria, so getting medical help specified for you will be far too difficult. Remember, you may be a guard but you're still a protected species. That hasn't changed since you've came here."

I kissed my teeth and took a deep breath, shaking my head as I spoke. "Then why am I here? I'm a guard for a reason, Twilight."

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do, but it seems like you don't trust me at all."

Seeming appalled at my statement, Twilight became defensive in her arguments. "I do trust you. Haven't I told you that already?"

Shining shrugged and started to walk off. "Okay, I can see that this is going nowhere. I'm moving out."

"Twilight, I came here to help you! Don't you see that!?"

"I do! I just can't afford to let you get hurt! You're too precious to me!"

"Twilight, I'm going to get hurt! That's in my job description!"

"And!? Following my orders is in your job description as well!"

"So you're ordering me to stay behind while you go out and fight on the front lines!?"

"I'M USED TO THAT!" She hollered to the top of her voice. "Before you came here, I was on the front line fighting villains that threatened to send the land into an eternal night, turn the world inside out, enslave the pony race, a five-hundred year heat wave, a dragon that threatened to send Ponyville into a one-hundred year period under smoke, a corrupted unicorn, went to another world and fought against another corrupted unicorn, came back to fight off a magical plant infestation, battle against a magic-stealing centaur that almost took over all of Equestria, and the very same individual responsible for this invasion. And if I let you go against any of that, then I would've failed as your protector!"

"Twilight, I don't-"

"Every time I sleep at night, I receive a vision of you with a hole in your chest! I see flowers lined up beside a wooden box! I see you with your eyes closed inside of that box while I'm wearing a black dress! 'WHAT PART OF 'I'M SCARED TO LOSE YOU' DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!?" She screamed at me, finally breaking down into tears. "And my worst fear is that I won't be able to do anything to help."

"Twilight-"

"I'm not gonna risk losing you! Not now!" She nuzzled me harshly, passionately as her hooves clenched around my body. Her cheeks were stained with the same tears I saw just earlier this morning. I held back onto her. As my hands wrapped around her, she clenched me even harder. I knew that this wouldn't be short. And despite the current circumstances, which urges us to carry on to more precedent matters, this was a time where she was also on edge and in need of comfort. She's risking the loss of her father as well as showing concern that I'd be biting the dust.

A battle of two loves. She doesn't know which to choose so she's going for the safest option.

"Twilight. Go on ahead. I'll take care of things here." I whispered in her ear.

The purple mare, sank her lips into mine once more before galloping off. But she stopped herself before walking out of the door and turned back to me. "Thank you for understanding. When we get back, I swear to you that I-"

"Don't you have a dad to save?" I questioned cutting her short.

"...I'll let it be a surprise then." She said as she turned back around. The moment she leapt off of the train, a few more changelings swooped in and tried to subdue her. With relative ease, she dispatched all three that came in. Two of which she knocked unconscious, the last one she left to perish from it's wounds. And even from a distance, I could tell from the caved-in skull of the not-so-fortunate creature, that he was a goner.

She did all of this with her bare hooves... Note to self: remind me never to piss her off.

For the past hour and a half, I have been walking from cart to cart, trying to clear out whatever changelings I encountered. I guess it didn't help me much that they were running rampant throughout the mountainside. I think I killed a decent thirteen of them on my own as well as dispatching several others. But as the time progressed, I had started to realize that they concentrated themselves in whatever cart that was in front of me, as well as ambushing the one I was already in. At this point I couldn't distinguish them any differently from German cockroaches; they keep coming and it seems like they come back with greater numbers. The more I fight off, the more I encounter as I continue along the carts.

But this cart especially, they seemed to have fortified their positions a lot more. Not only did they come back in greater numbers, but their animosity seemed to increase. They became a lot more aggressive than what I had originally encountered. They were faster, stronger, smarter, and harder to take down. But after half an hour of trying to funnel them through a single doorway, I managed to maim twenty, kill seven more and send three more running for mom. I wasn't complaining, it means less of those motherfuckers for me to fight.

Clearing what could've been the most fortified cart, I huffed and puffed as I tried to catch my breath. Despite the fact that I had an objective to complete, I still needed to breathe for a bit. Besides, if I can't catch my breath after ninety minutes of strenuous and deadly physical activity, then there was no way that I would be able to continue this lone-wolf operation. So instead, I decided to take a lean against the door and hear what I would have to deal with next. Trying to be as quiet as I possibly could, I placed my ear against the door and tried to listen in on what was going on next door.

"How hard is it!? I told you ponies to keep your head low and keep quiet!"

--The next cart over--

"How hard is it!? I told you ponies to keep your head low and keep quiet!" A changeling officer, dressed in stolen E.U.P. armor, commanded as he and a few others marched back and forth with stolen weapons in tow.

The cart full of civilians all whimpered and whined as the other changelings continued to harass them to keep them submissive. Many of them were either families on vacation or business ponies en-route to their respective jobs. A few others were just tourists and journalists. The remaining few were staff of the train. Even then, there wasn't too many on board, just enough to fill a caboose a little over it's maximum capacity.

"If you work with us, we will refrain from taking any lives! Try to play 'hero' and you will be made an example of! If you want a prime example, then I'd suggest that you speak to the conductor that we just escorted out not too long ago."

Conductor? That means that they must have sent him to the front of the train. I didn't see anyone resembling that of a train operator on my way up here, so the front would be the better assumption. If I can get with him, then we can get this train moving again. We needed to leave this place, it's swarming with changelings.

The changeling officer paced back and forth as he continued to patrol the hostages. His ears flicked as soon as he heard a low grumble of some sort. He turned around and shot a menacing glare at the hostages towards the back of the cart.

"Who was that!?" The entire train whimpered in horror of his voice. The captain continued to walk from pony to pony, harassing them to identify the source of the disturbance. "I demand to know who that was!"

All of the ponies remained silent. The captain drew his blade and struck a handlebar nearby, causing a loud ringing sound and a few sparks to fly. The ponies on the train squealed in fear of their safety as the officer continued to feign his anger. "Who in the Queen's name was that!? I thought I told you all to remain silent."

He turned his attention towards a little pegasus colt that sat between his parents. As he approached, the earth pony mare leaned over her son to protect him as the pegasus stallion bravely stood in the way to defend them both. The officer stopped inches away from the stallion, waving his blade in the father's face. "Do I suspect a hero amongst us?"

"Please, sir. We did nothing to hurt you, now leave my son out of this." The stallion pleaded.

The changeling looked towards the colt in the seat and his mother, giving them both an evil grin. He whispered to himself. "All of that love. The compassion of a mother defending one's own offspring. That is a love that proves too powerful to ignore." He turned his attention to the stallion and also saw something that pleased him. "And even now, I could see the bravery in this colt. He too desires to protect what is dearest to him. A father, willing to sacrifice himself for the safety of his own family. That too, is a love of significant volume."

The stallion feared for his life, but not as much as he did for his family as the changeling officer held the blade to his throat. The insectoid creature hummed gleefully as he called out to his accomplices. "Hey boys, you feeling hungry today?"

"Am I ever!" One of them called back.

"I can't wait to get my hooves on some quality love!" The other cosigned.

"What are we eating?" Another asked.

The officer hissed as he pressed the blade further against the stallion's throat. "Our lunch for the afternoon consists of a rich helping of love, fresh from a cowering family. A son, young and innocent, devoid of all guilt of this world, forced to see what unfortunate circumstances would soon to befall upon his parents. A mother, who ascends upon the mantle of guardianship with the desire to protect her precious offspring from dangers seen and present. Last but not least, a father who would fight to the death, sacrificing life and limb to make sure that his family remains safe."

The other changelings started to drool as they eyed the cowering family. "You mean..." one of the changelings started.

"That's right, a three-piece meal. All for the taking."

"...Barbaric vultures..." A voice mumbled out from the center of the train.

The three changeling grunts hissed violently at the insult as the officer removed the sword from the stallion's throat, still leaving a shallow wound on his neck. He turned his attention to a gray mare who scolded her husband for his speaking out. "You were supposed to remain quiet. Just leave it alone." She whispered.

"No, I'm tired of this. I will not sit here and wait for them to feed on an innocent family!"

The changeling officer stood in front of a blue unicorn who stared right back at him. The creature looked at the unicorn with extreme disgust. "And who would you be?"

The stallion snarled back. "Why should I reveal my name to a gathering of bugs? They'll be trampled underhoof anyhow."

"Stop this!" The grey unicorn mare urged to her husband.

The officer gritted his teeth with indignation as he tried to pull the mare out of her seat. "Since you want to speak out of turn, then I'll let you watch as we punish her instead."

"Get your slimy nubs off my wife, you son of a whore!"

All the changelings in the cart hissed loudly as they turned their attention to the blue unicorn stallion. The officer threw the mare to the side and landed a powerful blow towards the stallion's abdomen, causing him to buckle down from the loss of air. He followed up his first strike by shoving the stallion's face into the ground below. As he held him under his hoof, he looked at the stallion with extreme disdain. The mare, who began to recover from her earlier launch across the walkway looked on with horror as two changelings held her husband up to face the changeling officer.

"Take him to the front. Let him talk his heroics up with the conductor."

Finally catching my breath, I readied myself to bust inside. But I knew if I had just walked inside and started swinging my sword, I'd have to put several civilian lives at risk. Not only that, but if I had to fight them, they'd be able to swarm at me from different directions. In other words, I couldn't just slice my way into this cart like I have for the past ninety-some-odd minutes. I needed to tactical.

I have to gather them in a single place and take them out as quickly as possible. If I round them up, then it will reduce the collateral damage. But the question is how was I going to do it...

I think I have an idea. It might be crazy and stupid, but I think it will work even better than just swinging my sword around like I was a Jedi. Here it goes...

"Who is it!?"

I held onto my trachea and pinched a little bit so that I could have my voice sound a bit raspier. I decided to speak in a nasally voice that imitated their own. "I'm just coming back from patrol. We got a situation going on in Canterlot! Permission to debrief, sir!"

The door began to open and I reached for my weapon. As the door open and the changeling crept around to greet me, he spoke briefly.

"What's the situ-"

The entire cart became surprised by the sudden discharge. While the changeling that greeted me fell dead to the ground, I took aim for the other two on the side of the room.

Screams of the patrons filled the cart as I ran forward, brandishing my sword in one hand as I held my black M9 in the other. The other two creatures looked on with shock as one started to back away. The officer, shaken up himself, decided to send his subordinate in after me rather than going at me on his own. "Don't just sit there! Get him!"

The changeling grunt screeched as he charged at me. His charge was cut short as he met with the end of my blade, all just as I pulled myself to the side to avoid him. While he fell to the ground, sputtering and squirming for a while, the officer started to back away, showing it's fangs in a display of feral bravery. He let loose a mighty loud hiss as his back arched and he readied himself to pounce.

And in one report, the officer landed to his side, jaw still agape as he fell lifelessly to the ground. The train remained silent as they all stared at me, mortified of what I would do to them. I looked over to see a blue unicorn stallion looking at me with amazement. Meanwhile, a gray unicorn mare ran past me to tend to the recovering stallion.

"Crescent!" She shouted to him as he blinked and shook his head. She placed a hoof on his cheek, inspecting him for any injuries. As soon as she verified that he wasn't too banged up, she hugged the stallion. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He quickly responded, looking at me. "I'm more worried about who's side he's on."

I extended my hand to greet his hoof as I introduced myself. "Nondis. Private First Class of the Equestrian E.U.P. Guard. I'm not one of them."

He continued to look at me questioningly, never taking a moment to except my greeting. "You're not one of us either. I still don't trust you. What company are you in?"

"Royal Guard Division, Three-hundred-and-first regiment, Delta Squadron. Stationed in Ponyville and commanded by none other than Captain Shining Armor."

The stallion looked at me muddled and with shock. "You're under my son?"

I'm pretty sure that I returned that same exact look. "You're Twilight and Shining's dad?"

The mare that stood beside him gave me the look. "You know Twilight?"

...Did I just finish both my mission as well as Twilight's? Either way... "Yes ma'am. I'm stationed in Ponyville as her personal guard." And I'm going to be your new son-in-law. Isn't this amazing/awkward?

"My goodness. If you're supposed to be guarding my daughter, then what in blazing saddles are you doing here?" The stallion named Crescent inquired with a scowl.

"My orders were to clear out the train and ensure the safety of the passengers, as well as employees." I answered.

"Yet you were positioned to a princess. Why have you abandoned her?" The mare asked with concern.

"Because she was too busy worrying about me to let me go with her and Shining-"

"That's no excuse! I demand a better explanation on why you've left my daughter to walk into danger!" The mare asked. Captain obvious is stating that this gray mare with purple highlights in her mane was Twilight's mother. Amazingly, she looks exactly like her, just with a longer mane done with bangs and a curl on one side, a different color scheme, different cutie mark, blue eyes, smaller in body, and minus the wings. "Hello! I'm waiting!"

Let me stop staring and answer her question before I start to get hounded on. "She gave me that order, ma'am."

"And don't you think there are times to disobey orders, good sir!?" She was not letting me get off easy.

"Ma'am, she forced me to stay here, despite my pleading with her to take me with her. She told me to stay on this train to help the passengers while she went off to Canterlot to look for the two of you. Shining went with her as well."

"Are you so incompetent that your superior is doing your job for you?"

She is tearing me a new one. And I'm usually a patient person, but GODDAMN WAS SHE WORKING MY NERVES! "Ma'am, with all due respect. I just saved your-"

"And you would choose to save me over protecting my daughter, who just so happens to be a protector of this realm!? What kind of guard are you to abandon your princess in pursuit of personal glory!?"

I see where Shining get's his animosity from. "Look, I was ordered to this train. I was ordered to clear this train. I was ordered to-"

"You were ordered to stand by my daughter, no matter the circumstances! Some husband you'll be!"

"Ma'am, if I could expla-" Hold on a sec... "H-h-husband?"

"Well you're the one called Nondis, correct? I do remember you introducing yourself as such."

So... she already knew from the moment I gave off my name. She's... what a fucking troll. "Yes. And you were just heckling me, weren't you?"

"Oh maliciously!" Crescent answered as he started to laugh at my misfortune. "I can't wait to tell little Twilight about this!"

"Little?" I asked, feeling somewhat confused.

"Now where are my manners? I never got around to introducing myself." She stated coyly. "My name is Twilight Velvet. I'm the original Twilight. The one you're currently pursuing is my carbon copy. Although the print didn't come out just right, I still love her nonetheless."

Something tells me that she's going to be taking shots at everyone and everything all day. "An honor to meet you, ma'am." I said as I extended my hand once more.

"If it's such an honor, then why didn't you get to meet the original Twilight Sparkle anytime sooner?" She quipped.

"Well, I was under the impression that I was going to leave." I answered truthfully.

"So if you were going to leave my daughter, despite her desire to have you, then what does that make you then?"

Now that's low. "But I-"

"Sonny," Crescent began. "If you're going to learn anything, you should learn to never take anything she says seriously. She wouldn't tell you your house was on fire until after the fact."

They're almost like an old married couple. Then again...

"Just like you said that you'll pull out before you released. And thus Twilight was conceived!"

Okay, we're getting a little personal here. Time to change the subject. "Well, I'm glad that-"

"Oh, and I suppose that Shining was my fault too? I suggested we'd wear a condom, you said it would feel better without it!"

Twilight Velvet laughed. "And here I thought you said to never take what I have to say seriously."

"At the time, I didn't know that!"

"And two foals later, you still won't cuddle with me after. I suppose I'll find me another pony to cuddle."

Wait a minute, we don't need to go that far! "Uh-"

"If that's the case, then why don't you cuddle with Nondis over there?" Crescent suggested as he pointed at me. Twilight Velvet began to smile as she zipped over towards me, grabbing my arm and tugging it towards her.

"You know... that's not a bad idea. I need to see if he's even equipped to satisfy a mare, let alone my daughter."

WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS!? WHY IS THIS A THING!? "Ma'am, that won't be-"

She brushed a hoof against my lower abdomen, partially lifting my shirt. "So break it out, human. Let's see what all the hubbub's about. Obviously Twilight had gotten in trouble over you, so I might as well see if you were worth the commotion."

There are foals here. Have you no shame? "No thanks."

"Are you implying that your length, girth, and stamina is insufficient to properly please my daughter?"

Now she's calling me shrimp dick? HELL NO! "Well no, not re-"

Her hoof lightly tapped at the crotch of my pants. She grabbed me much like Twilight does when she's usually in the mood to tease me. And her name was Twilight too... FUCK! "Well in that case, let's see what you're hiding underneath all of these clothes."

I try to back away, bumping into the door that lead to the conductor cart. I looked towards Crescent and stared with amazement. "Sir, your wife is sexually harassing me. Why are you okay with this?"

The blue stallion merely shrugged his shoulders as he sat back and watched. "I dunno."

"So what are the human mating rituals? I find that my daughter would find immense pleasure in knowing the detailed specifics used to turn you on."

Between her gently petting my crotch and pulling my arm towards her, I'm caught between a rock and and a hard dick right now. "Ma'am. There are foals present." I whispered.

"Yes, but nothing is wrong with a little education. After all, this stuff comes naturally to us. They'll learn about it sooner or later."

She's playing with me, in a train full of ponies, with dead changelings lying on the floor. She can't be serious. "Um..."

Giving me a playful bop on the nose, she giggled and teased me for my being flustered. "You're such a stick! Loosen up!"

"Ma'am, there are dead changelings on the ground. All of which I've killed, and that's not including the ones I killed to get up here. I'm not going to be loose until I see-"

Suddenly, the train shook and jolted a bit, indicating that the engine had started to run. There was no whistle to indicate that we were moving, instead we were moving regardless. We started to proceed towards the city, moving slowly and rapidly increasing in speed. I at least didn't need to sit around and wait to find the conductor to get this train moving. We also saw quite a few of the changelings retreating from the city overhead.

Evidently, Twilight and Shining were winning.

--Meanwhile in Canterlot Castle--

"Once again, we thank you for your unflinching bravery, your undying loyalty, and your strength in this time of great peril. We can only offer our sincerest apologies for your inability to locate your father."

A council consisting of the remaining generals and officers bowed their heads in reverence to the prince and princess that stood before them. Shining remained silent as Twilight spoke in his place. "Thank you. Let us know if you should find out anything about him."

"Of course. This is the only way to properly thank you both for your assistance. If it wasn't for your intervention, we would've lost many more lives in this catastrophe."

The small remnant of the Equestrian Military council has lined themselves up in front of both Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle as they gave their salutes to the two royals. Shining Armor grimaced as he returned his as Twilight continued to show an optimistic front. Shortly after the newly-rescued members of the council took their leave, Shining finally stormed out of the room, having his younger sister following close behind.

"A breach in security, assassinations and executions of multiple officers, and now this. I can't believe we came all this way to find out that dad's M.I.A.. And we haven't even found a trace of mom either." The stallion voiced with unease.

"We'll find them. I know we will. We just have to remain positive." The purple princess stated as they both walked down the disorganized halls of the royal palace.

"I'm trying... But how are we going to find them in this mess? Canterlot is in shambles and we don't even know if they're under a damn building somewhe-"

Twilight stopped walking and teleported directly in front of her brother, causing him to back away a bit. "Don't you EVER insinuate that our parents are hurt or worse! They are perfectly fine and they won't need any medical help when we find them. Do I make myself clear?"

Shining shook his head with disapproval. "Twily-"

"We are both in positions of power. If we want to find them, we can and will."

"Okay then. Tell me where we would look at first. The place we stayed at when we were younger is in shambles, our mom is nowhere to be found, and our dad is a target. Try to find some optimism in that."

"They could be still alive. That's what's driving me now. That's what should be driving you."

Shining started to walk towards the window, looking out in the distance to see parts of the city in a smolder. He drew in a deep breath as he watched the medical teams perform their jobs in the streets below. "Twilight, we just saved a group of stallions and mares that ranked either the same or higher than I do. If he's not in that group, then where could he be?"

Twilight walked beside her older brother as she nuzzled him lightly. "He's safe. Let's start there."

"'Safe' isn't a place. Where do we really start?" The stallion asked his younger sister.

The younger mare placed a hoof on her older brother's shoulder. "Shining, we'll be okay. They'll be okay. I don't need the new Brigadier General to start going into a panic. I need you to remain calm, cool, and collected. That's the only way we'll get things done."

Shining scoffed at his new military title. "What difference does it make? If I can't protect two ponies from harm, then what good will a shiny, new button do for me?"

Twilight continued to peer off into the distance towards the mountainside entrance of the city. "I know that you've lost your confidence. You think you're the only one?"

Shining looked into the distance, only seeing the mountain and the lands beyond it. "So you're scared too?"

"I'm terrified. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't keep a positive outlook on things."

Shining looked even further into the distance, something catching his eye. "Maybe we're thinking on opposite ends. I have another thought in my head as I'm saying these things aloud."

"And that is?"

"I'm optimistic, but I keep myself in the mindset of the worst-case scenario."

Twilight turned to her older brother. "Why?"

"Because I find that whatever I say ends up being the opposite. I jinx myself when I say everything will be just fine. So who's to say that the theory doesn't work both ways?"

Twilight rolled her eyes at her brother's logic. "If you keep going on about it, then you might just convince yourself that it would actually happen."

"Yeah, but it never failed me this far. Why go against something that I know works out for my good?"

"That's not exactly healthy."

Shining chuckled a bit as he continued to stare in the distance. "I know."

As the time continued to progress, Shining started to become concerned over what was going on in the distance. Twilight seemed too busy thinking about their parents to notice the moving pillar of smoke rapidly ascending the mountainside. "Twily, I gotta ask. Did you ever give Nondis any special instructions?"

Twilight glanced over at her brother. "No, I just told him to secure the train. Why?"

"Did you give him any orders to start the train?"

"Why do you ask that?" The purple mare questioned as Shining rose off of the window seal.

"Oh no. This is bad." He mumbled to himself as he started to gallop at full speed towards another opening to get a better view of the situation. "Twily, we gotta go, kiddo!"

Twilight took after her brother and saw the train approaching the city at a blistering speed. "That train is going way too fast. It'll derail on the smallest curb at this rate!"

"That's not the problem." Shining pointed out.

"Then what is?" The princess asked her older sibling.

Shining directed her head in the direction where he was looking. As soon as her eyes met up with where he was looking, she felt something within her body sink into her stomach. Her heart started to pound furiously as she began to panic.

"That's... a really big problem."

--Back on the train--

Crescent and I held down the wounded changeling that charged after me just earlier as we continued to interrogate the creature for information in regards to his orders. Twilight Velvet, Velvet for short, continued to look after the other passengers.

"Okay, we're going to go over this one last time. Who sent you?" Crescent asked sternly.

The changeling coughed as he spurred and snarled at us both. "We will never give up. For the future of our colony-"

Crescent gave him a well-placed stomp to his hind leg, still making sure that he didn't break anything as of yet. The changeling yelped as the blue unicorn snarled back at him. "Your future doesn't exist. I think it would be best to clarify your intentions. At least then you'll have a future."

"Dude, we're gonna be here all day dealing with you. Just tell us what your objective is so we can throw you out the window or something." I stated impatiently as I tried to keep calm.

"Um, boys." Velvet began. "I don't mean to get off track, but don't you think we should be stopping this train?"

We then turned to her. "Why stop now? We're almost at the city." I asked.

She grabbed and pulled me towards the window and pointed to the bridge that lead into the city. My eyes opened wide as I saw the damaged span, or rather the missing part of the bridge. There was a large gaping hole where the arch used to be and instead of leading towards the city, the tracks gave out and lead us towards the craggy, sharp rocks below.

"Oh... fffffuck..." I muttered to myself in horror.

The changeling started to laugh as he looked at my reaction to the bridge being out. The other ponies started to see what we were on edge about and began to panic. Crescent looked at me once and realized that there was something extremely wrong. Turning his attention back to the laughing changeling, he bashed his head against the flooring. "Shut up, you!"

"Well, at least my future isn't the only one that won't exist." He joked as Crescent growled at him.

"What did you do with the conductor?" I asked the changeling.

"Him? He's quite beside himself right now." The creature answered.

I immediately walked towards the conductor's cart and opened the door to see who was manning the controls. Instead, I was greeted by an immense heat as the engine started to overheat. I shielded my face as the searing temperatures threatened to cook my skin. I looked to the side of me and saw a brake lever that had the wires pulled out from below, the shaft covered in blood. I looked up and discovered a severed head sitting on top of it like a ghoulish decoration of some sort. The stallions eyes were well placed on his own body that rested mere inches away from him against the wall. A look of despair sat upon his face and remained there as all color faded from his expression.

Well, I guess this will be a thing I'll remember in therapy. Closing the door back and leaving the cart, I looked at Crescent and shook my head. "Conductor's out of commission."

"How out of it?" Velvet asked as she walked beside her husband.

I could only shake my head in response to her question. I tried to let words come out, but silence choked out my thoughts. I sighed deeply as I placed a hand on my forehead and thought about what to do next. My heart was beating faster than what this train was chugging out. My stomach was trying to climb out of my throat. My eyes expanded to twice their size as I continued to panic.

"You okay?" Crescent asked as he removed himself from the changeling's side.

I quickly denied his question with a rapid shake of my head. "...Naaaahhhhh..." I stated as I looked back to the closed door, thinking about what I had just seen. "I'm... I-I-I'm good, but he's not."

Crescent walked up to the door I stood in front of, kindly pushed me out of the way, opened the door, peeked inside, and immediately withdrew himself for a short while due to the heat. After placing up a magic shield around himself, he looked to the left and saw the remains of the conductor. After leaving the cart, slamming the door shut, he shook his head with shame. "Damn creatures, have they no sense of respect."

"What's his status?" Velvet asked.

"Dearly departed."

"Then who's controlling the train?" She asked worriedly.

"Nopony as of now."

Velvet threatened to enter into the cart. "Then shouldn't there be a lever of some sort that could stop this train?"

"Brakes are cut." I quietly recalled, thinking about the hellish imagery that refused to leave my head.

She stopped short of opening the door as her husband withheld her from going any further. "We have to stop this train somehow!"

"Velvet, do you know how to operate a train?" Crescent asked.

She brushed her husband off and started to advance. "How hard could it be?"

Suddenly, in an ironic twist of fate, we heard the sound of metal moaning and creaking. And shortly after, a small explosion took place in the cart ahead. The cart started to catch fire as well as billow out black smoke. Both Crescent and I turned to her in silence as she looked back at us with embarrassment.

"So... Plan B?"

My mind, still a jumbled mess, tried it's best to come up with an escape plan. I knew that I was in a rush to do something, but if I didn't think of something, we'd all be dead. My mind continued to go over the details of the situation, almost simulating the results of each one. I know that it's too difficult and dangerous to just leap out of the train at this speed. Especially considering that we were on the mountainside, jumping wouldn't be a smart option. I thought about disconnecting the cart, but then I had thought about the size of the mass in relation to the motion that we're traveling. That meant we needed to cut down on mass for it to work. Otherwise, we'd still be running over that bridge and into the rocks below. With each mental simulation that passed, we became ever closer to a painful, imminent doom. I began to size down the simulation and think of any alternatives... Think dammit, think!

Size it down... That's where it hit me.

I stood off of the ground and pointed to the other side of the cabin. "Everypony! Your attention please!" I called out. "I need you all to run to the back of the train. Move quickly to the final cart and do not, I repeat, DO NOT grab anything that can be replaced. That will only slow us down! Move in an orderly fashion, do not shove! Let's go people!"

"What are you planning?" Crescent asked.

"We're gonna detach the carts as we go along." I added as we walked towards the back.

Velvet walked up to us both and gave us her input. "That front lock is welded shut from those flames. We'd have to detach ourselves from this cart instead."

"Well, we're going to be in the back, so it doesn't matter."

"What about him?" Velvet asked, pointing to the wounded changeling.

It didn't take any time for me to think about what to do with him. He had information, so he needed to be kept alive. Simple as that. "Take him with us."

--Back in Canterlot--

Twilight and Shining ran as fast as they could to the chariot hanger. Guards greeted them with salutes and bows as they eagerly started to unfasten one the chariots. One of the guards spoke. "Could we help you with anything, your highness?"

Twilight angrily pulled at the strap, trying her best to undo the latch that held the vehicle to the ground. Finally seeing her efforts being in vain, she turned to the guard and pointed at the object of her frustration. "Undo these bonds! We need to catch a train!"

"But your highness, there shouldn't a train coming in since the travel advisory went out just an hour ago."

"There's one coming now!" Shining rebutted. "And if we don't stop it, then we might not ever get to see that train, or it's passengers, ever again. Now undo these locks!"

A more distinguished colt in armor walked up with a checklist. "Sir, I'm going to need you to-"

"FUCK PROTOCOL, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!" Shining yelled out, getting the stallion's attention.

Twilight took the list and signed her name and listed the reason for take-out was for 'rescue operation'. After the colt received the list and read the excuse, he nodded in respect and backed away. As he did, he called for his best stallions to line up before him.

"Steeds! Attention!" The stallion with the checklist ordered. A long line of pegasi lined up in front of him, wings flared open as he marched back and forth between them. He turned back to Shining Armor, who was pulling apart the locks and straps along with another stallion who was familiar with the set-up. "Sir, our finest fliers are currently at your disposal. How many do you need?"

Twilight wasted no time as she simply blasted the last strap holding the chariot down. "All of them! I've got a plan!"

--Back on the train--

As we waited for the final group of passengers to leave the first cart, we started to place the plan into action. We all jumped aboard the second cart. As we finally evacuated the first cart, we turned our attention to the lock that held the compartments together. Crescent removed the bolt that locked us in, freeing us from the runaway caboose. We carried on our operation towards the very back of the train.

As we all continued to move from cart to cart, we continued to detach ourselves to minimize the mass. Also, we started to see a noticeable degree of separation from one cart to another. When we had finally reached the final compartment, ironically where my mission began, we detached the final lock and waited for the slow down. We kept moving, but at a significantly lower pace than that of the initial speed. Though we crept forward, we were no longer bound to the fiery engine that flew onto the bridge. Each cart, moved towards the bridge at their own pace.

Meanwhile, the final caboose, filled with all of the passengers of the train. Velvet continued to finish off where Crescent and I left off with the changeling. Meanwhile, those who weren't encouraging the torture of the unfortunate creature found themselves staring out the windows, clenching onto one another as they watched the carts move onto the bridge. Crescent looked to me as he clenched his jaw in anticipation. "Do you think this will work?"

I gulped as the thought of my failure started to play out in my head. "Well... if it doesn't, would you be satisfied with me saying that I tried?"

Crescent took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His limbs stiffened as he seemed ready to take on the worst. "Well, you gave it your best, considering how quickly we had to throw it all together."

I think I was on the verge of throwing up at this point. Scratch that, I was nauseous and on the verge of a heart attack. My life could end here and now in the grisliest fashion. I wasn't even five months into my approval process, I just met Twilight's parents, and I'm still a virgin. But on the bright side, I fought and killed numerous changelings that tried to eat me and temporarily saved the lives of dozens of civilians. I think I'll be able to take solace in that. "Well... If this doesn't work... I tried."

"And if we do die, just know that I won't resent you for it." Crescent stated somberly.

"Hell, I will." Velvet added. "I wanna see if my grandfoals will have wings or horns. Or maybe even both."

Yup, being herself to the very end... And I'm cool with that.

The infernal conductor's cart blazed and smoldered as it chugged right off the bridge and into the rocks below, exploding upon impact. The second cart, the passenger cart we were on from the beginning, went along with it. The third, the first one we detached, quickly moved off of the bridge and fell off. The fourth, moved at a slower pace, but still had enough momentum to push itself off of the bridge. The fifth cart moved with enough speed to make it's way across the bridge, but not far enough to fall into the hole. And finally, our cart bumped against the first cart, stopping us entirely. Instead, the cart that was before us, crept along and finally fell into the smoking ruin below. The cart we all remained on continued to creak for some time until we came to a complete stop, just a few yards away from the gaping hole in the span.

We stood inside of the cart, counting our lucky stars that we weren't in that cart. Sighs of relief and an eruption of applause sounded throughout the car as Crescent and I finally loosened up a bit. Albeit, we were stuck on the bridge, but we didn't have to worry about going over the edge. My heart, which pounded at several million miles an hour finally gave way and shut down for an instant. I collapsed onto the ground with relief, trembling as I nearly cried like a baby. "Fuck... we're alive."

So, let's sum up my experience for today... Me and Shining walked into a bar, shared a drink, watched a guy die, changed my shirt and grabbed a gun for emergency purposes, boarded a train, nearly got eaten, got into an argument with my girlfriend, resolved said argument, fought a shitload of bug horses, saved a dozen lives, met Twilight's parents, saw that the bridge ahead was destroyed, saw a decapitated body, shit myself, came up with a plan to once again save the group of civilians, and successfully pulled it off. All of this before three in the afternoon. If I ever had to write a book on my life and sum this up in one chapter, this would be entirely too damn much to shove in one chapter.

Hollywood should hire me for the shit I just went through.

"Hello!? Is anypony in there!?" A voice called out to us from outside.

I pulled myself off of the ground and walked over towards the back end of the caboose. When I had walked outside, I could see a sizeable pegasi squad flying overhead. Inside of the chariot rode a distraught Princess Twilight and a relieved Shining Armor. When the chariot landed on the ground, Twilight jumped off and ran towards me. Shining followed suit as the purple princess leaped for me, nearly pushing the cart forward.

"Oh shit!" I screamed as Twilight jumped back off of me. Instinctively, I tried to grab on to the cart to pull it towards the grounded tracks. "A little... help, please?" I asked as Shining Armor approached.

The white unicorn stallion ignited his magic and began to march forward. As he did, the convoy disassembled and a small swarm pegasi all lined up on either side of the train and pulled towards the cliff. Twilight hovered in the air as she used her magic to push from the front end. I myself pulled for a short while, but found myself nearly being dragged under. After assessing the risks of my getting ran over, I decided to trek back to the mountain and laid myself next to a rock. I watched as the two pulled what was left of the train onto solid ground. I laid on the ground, looking at the sky as I finally gave myself some well-deserved rest. As soon as the cart hit solid ground, the passengers started to file themselves in line to leave the caboose.

"Nondis!" Twilight called out as I laid on the ground. "What in Celestia's mane were you doing!? You could've gotten yourself killed!"

I looked at her with a dumbfounded expression on my face. "Really? You order me to secure a train full of changelings, liberate the passengers, and now you're telling me that I could've been killed? That's a little ass-backwards, ain't it?"

"I didn't tell you to start the train!" She argued, pointing to the single caboose.

I got off of the ground and dusted myself off. "I didn't start it, for one. Two, the conductor was already dead. Three, I don't know how to operate a train. And four, the brakes were cut."

Shining pulled his younger sister back as he began to think. "If you didn't start the train, and the driver was already dead, then who did?"

"I think our friend here want's to come clean, Nondis!" Crescent hollered from the back of the train.

Both Twilight and Shining looked back to see the blue unicorn stallion standing on the back-end of the train cart. They both looked at me and finally towards him again. "Dad?"

Crescent leaned back as he listened in for something else within the train. "Oh, and your mother wants to know what you two wanted to eat for dinner tonight."

The darkness that once shaded my eyes started to fade into a fiery orange color. When I came to, I was in the midst of what appeared to be a burning train. My head ached tremendously, as did the rest of my body. My legs felt numb to a response as my brain sent out a signal to move them. My arms were a different story. Instead, they were moving when I commanded them to do so... or rather one of them. My other arm twitched a bit as I stared back at it. When I went to grab my arm, I soon made a horrific discovery.

It wasn't attached.

Panicked, I foolishly tried to pull my arm back into the socket from where it separated. In utter disbelief, I continued to send signals to my arm. Though it felt like the signals were getting through just fine, my severed arm was showing otherwise. Now I was horrified, staring back at the bloodied limb that once used to be my go-to guy for mostly anything. As I screamed in complete terror, I clenched onto the detached limb.

"Fuck... Fuck... FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"

I continued to swear loudly as I tried my damndest to replace the limb, falling even further into insanity as I began to mash the bloody nub into where my arm once connected. The only thing I started to feel was an immense amount of pain. Though, I was just finding out that my severed arm was just the beginning of my hellish experience.

A moaning sound rang in my ears as I halted my irrational attempts to reattach my arm. The weight on my legs lightened and soon disappeared altogether. A snapping sound rang into my eardrums, causing me to turn my head to see what it was. The only thing I could hear was a wire quickly unraveling. And soon I turned back around to see what was falling in front of me.

And instantly, I knew that I was wishing that I had forgotten what I saw that instant.

A young colt no older than probably eight dropped before me. His eyes remained open and glossed as he swung eerily from side to side. His neck was a twisted mess and his jaw slacked open. He wore a saddened expression, it seemed that he was unprepared for his end.

Immediately, my legs responded from the shock and I backed away, dropping my detached arm in doing so. As I continued to stare back in shock, I backed into a metal girder that was hotter than anything that I've ever came in contact with. My back sizzled for the fraction of a second, causing me to jump back forward to prevent myself from cooking against the metal. I tuned around to see what I had backed into. A large steel girder standing between me and the rest of the train cart I stood in.

But beyond that large metal obstruction, I saw something that chilled me to the bone. In each seat, I saw the corpses of all the ponies that rode on the train. Their heads were all turned towards me, almost looking at me with their scorched eyes. Their coats were no longer identifiable, but rather charred black from the flames that engulfed the entire train. But for some macabre reason, I could make out the shapes of each pony. Their manes and tails, despite being scorched, still carried some of their color. And directly in front of me sat Crescent and his wife Velvet. Crescent pointed at me with a scorched hoof while his wife looked as if she was trying to speak to me.

God knows what faces they were making at me, but their eyes... I saw the whites of them, their partially darkened pupils, their glossed irises, they stared right back at me. It was like they were all waiting for me to do something. But the horror of seeing them staring at me was enough to send me running past the hanging body of the foal and towards the other side of the burning cart. What made it worse was the sounds of voices quietly whispering directly into my ears as I looked back at them. All of them becoming nothing more than incoherent scratches and breaths. My body reacted on it's own by making me run away.

I turned back around, pushed aside the foal, and ran through the train. As I continued to run, I could see the door at the end of the train. It looked so far away from where I was. My eyes couldn't close as I ran. Instead, I was forced to see all of the flames that tunneled around the open walkway. My legs continued to propel me forward, driving me towards the door. But as I ran, the door seemed to have gotten smaller.

"Some husband you'll be..." One voice whispered into my ear.

I turned back around to see the burned corpse of Velvet standing directly behind me. A shiver ran down my spine, causing me to advert my eyes to the door further down. My legs moved me forward once more, pressing me towards the end of my journey. My heartbeat started to ring throughout the train while I ran. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"You tried..." Whispered another voice.

I didn't want to look back, but my body was somehow forced to do so.

When my head finally turned to the side, I saw Crescent sitting happily next to me with a row of teeth forming a crispy smile. I turned back around to focus on the door. Instead, what I saw began to discourage me from taking another step forward. Instead of the just the door, I was seeing the bodies of all the passengers that rode on the train. They all sat in their seats, all looking and smiling at me. The worst part was that they weren't smiles of a demonic nature, but rather innocent faces devoid of all of their distinctive features and colors. The only thing that remained was their eyes, the whites of their teeth and charred flesh. Some of them sat in the very flames that threatened to cook them even more.

I made a mental decision to run to that door. I choose to do just that. My body no longer made any unnecessary stops for any others. Instead, I bolted down the hall, hearing the whispers of every pony I ran past. As I got closer to the door their whispers started to transition to screams, painful, bloodcurdling screams that rang in my ears as one united voice. I placed my hand on the handle to open the door, but was burned from the heat. I clinched my teeth and chose to endure the pain, pulling the handle down and prying open the door.

When I walked through, I had noticed that all of the screams have stopped. So did the flames that swallowed up the train. The door closed behind me as I walked into an empty conductor cart. Looking out towards the front of the train, I could see that we were safely stationed in Canterlot. But the streets were empty too. It almost seemed that the city was actually abandoned not even an hour ago. I turned to the door to my right, seeing that it led straight to the streets outside. Deciding that it was time for me to get off of this horrifying ride, I reached out to open the door.

The door jiggled, but would not budge. The door remained shut, almost as if I was locked in from the outside. I started to panic once more. Jiggling the handle, I tried numerous tricks to clear past the door. Instead, I only remained locked inside of this caboose. When I pulled the handle I saw the entire knob fall apart, leaving me to remained trapped in the cart.

"I'm scared..."

My heart began to throb in fright. My body chilled as I started to turn around. When I did, I was met with a rather ghoulish encounter. A stallion dressed in conductor's clothing stood in front of me. A majority of his body was hidden in shadow. But when he began to walk towards me, that's when the hell truly made itself obvious. He had no head and still identified where I stood. I looked past the headless corpse and saw his severed head on the brake lever. He stared directly at me with bloodied tears in his eyes. A look of total despair sat upon his face as he looked at me.

"I don't want to be alone..."

My eyes shot open to nothing but massive amounts of light flooding throughout my room. My body was covered in sweat as I breathed heavily from the unnatural experience. I pulled myself out of the bed, standing on my own two, undressed legs. Instinctively, I reached for my right arm. And thankfully it was still attached to my body. Feeling around my body, I could feel nothing but my own bare skin. My back was unmarred by the extreme heat, my hand was without burns, my legs were unharmed, my entire body was still in one piece. There was no signs of wounds aside from the few cuts and scrapes I had received from the attack earlier. I sighed in relief as I was reminded of the scenario that occurred in my nightmare.

I almost wanted to go back into the bed and cover myself in sheets, head included, out of my desire to avoid seeing the image of dead bodies in my head. It turns out that my consciousness was catching up to me. And now I was sitting here, nearly screaming my head off in horror.

I became a tortured soul today. I had seen what I shouldn't have and taken the lives of several other sentient beings. It didn't matter that it was for my survival. I was new to it all and my mind hadn't had a chance to adjust. Groggy and scared, I slowly crept back onto the bed. Silently, I condemned myself for my insatiable need to turn on every light in the room out of my desire to 'feel protected.'

Though it didn't help me at all when my mind had closed in on the sole fact that I was knocking on deaths door just earlier. And that's not even mentioning that he was open to having a conversation with me in the early afternoon, where the sun was high in the sky, in front of a bunch of other ponies.

I shook my head in disbelief of what all had happened earlier. If anything, I should be dead by now. If anything, my plan could've failed. By scientific accounts, the fact that we stopped was nothing more than an improbable miracle. Death had all of us in his hands and we all just so happened to crawl from in between his fingers. I'm not complaining, however.

I'm just... confused.

"Who is it?" I asked, seemingly paranoid.

The door remained silent. The only sound I began to hear was the sound of the hoof tapping against the door.

"God dammit, who is it!?" I asked, this time reaching for my sword on the night stand.

A voice whispered at the door. "Nondis, it's me."

"State your damn business before I stab you through this door." I demanded, drawing my weapon. "I have had no sleep, I am on edge right now, and I do not need for you to fucking play around with me!"

"Nondis, it's me. Princess Luna. Now open the door."

I could not believe my ears. I still held onto my weapon with a firm grip. "...Prove it."

"My sister beat you in a hoof-wrestling match the day before you went off to training."

Not very many ponies know about the match we had. If anyone else had knowledge of it, it would be Twilight. Apparently, Celestia must've disclosed our little spar with her. Sheathing my weapon, I walked towards the door and opened it up slowly. As I stared through the cracks, I saw the tall figure of the alicorn princess. She looked at me with pity in her eyes. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head, rubbing the fuzz out of my eyes. "Negative."

Luna turned her attention to the numerous lamps lit throughout the room. "A few of the other guards had suspected that you were still awake, considering all of the lighting emanating from your room. Are you getting any sleep?"

"Hardly." I strained as I yawned and stretched my arms.

"Well, is there any reason why you have so many lights on? I could safely assume that your night would be a bit more pleasant if there wasn't so much... interference."

I groaned in annoyance, obviously she didn't understand that this was actually having the exact opposite effect on me. "That couldn't be any more wrong."

Luna looked at me suspiciously. "You wouldn't happen to have a fear of the dark, would you?"

"Right now... I much rather keep myself in a well-lit space."

"Does the dark scare you?" She quietly inquired, trying to be cautious of anyone overhearing.

"No... But my recent nightmares, in tandem with my day, has been really fucking with my mind."

Luna walked over to my bed, using her magic to remake the bed and fluffing the pillows. "Intriguing. Perhaps you would wish to share your vision of fright with me."

"...I don't wanna talk about it."

"If you wish to get better, then I suggest that you come clean." She recommended strongly as her magic dissipated from the bed.

"I saw a pony die today... well, I saw two. The first one was a recruit I graduated from the academy with. The other, an innocent life. To me, it seems that Spades had it a lot easier than the second one."

"And what happened with the second one?" She asked.

"...He... he's... I really don't wanna talk about this-"

"Then the dreams will continue, as long as you continue to run from them."

"I'm not running."

Luna walked over to me and placed a hoof on my forehead. In mere seconds, she withdrew herself and examined her hoof. "It seems that you have been running from something. Your dreams are troubling you to such a degree. What happened?"

I looked to my right arm, lifting it up and taking joy that it was very much attached. "Well, for starters, I woke up with a missing arm."

"Continue." She advised as she walked back over towards the bed,

"And then, in the middle of a burning train caboose, I saw a foal drop from the ceiling. It seemed that he suffocated from a wire caught around his neck."

"That's somewhat troubling."

"Oh, and that's just the beginning." I added. "The rest of the dream, I was too busy running from dead, burned-up bodies of everypony I saved. I kept hearing their whispers and their cries. And in the end... well..."

"...Well?"

"You know that second guy that I saw die?"

"What about him?" She questioned me.

I took a deep breath, daring myself not to even close my eyes out of fear of visualizing the situation. "He was beheaded. Not only that, but his head was placed on the brake lever."

Luna closed her eyes and nodded sagely. "I understand. That event has haunted you a bit."

'A bit' is an understatement. "Yeah..."

The night princess walked over to me and ushered be back to the bed. "I believe that you're currently battling some rather disturbing images in your mind. Perhaps this is merely post-traumatic stress. Your earlier encounters did run you through numerous scenarios that could've killed you."

I've noticed. "But how do I deal with it?"

Luna smiled as she gently pressed me to sit on the bed. "Fortunately, your exposure was rather limited. Instead of you seeing much worse circumstances in reality, they seem to only appear in your dreams as a 'what-if' simulation. Thankfully, your grim run-in with the deceased soul on the train was the only thing that you had to endure. And by what your dream consisted of, your experience could've been a lot worse."

I looked down at my feet, unable to look at the princess in front of me. "I'm not very strong, am I?"

"Why whatever do you mean?" She asked, looking bewildered.

"I'm suffering from one measly run-in. And-"

"If you think that your encounter was insignificant, then you are sorely mistaken." Luna spoke harshly.

"But how? I ran into one body-"

"You've ran into several. Unless you've decided to discount the changelings that you've killed."

"But that was a survival choice!" I argued. "I had to if I was going to live. The first one I ran into tried to eat me. And the rest of them weren't nearly as welcoming as that guy was."

"Then you've written off their existences as nothing?"

"They're the ones who did this! They attacked the city, they killed your officers, they probably killed more civilians, they took a train hostage, and tried to run it into a ravine with me on it! I had to kill them, considering that they were a threat! I did my job... and failed at it."

Luna pulled my head up to face her. I could see a menacing scowl on her face as she spoke. "Failure would've resulted in your death. Failure would've resulted in many more deaths. Your actions have done nothing more than prevent the additional deaths of innocent lives. I don't believe 'failure' would be the best word for this outcome. You've lost the life of one stallion, who may have already died by the time you arrived. And if you think you've endured failure, then I would like for you to walk in my hoofprints for a while."

"Since when did you fail?"

"Since I dismissed Shining Armor's claims of changelings being in the southern Badlands a few months ago. It was because of my error in judgement that we lost so many. My error has caused many politicians to turn against my sister, despite her efforts to rebuild. They all cast her as some incompetent ruler, without even knowing the truth of the matter... And despite all of that, she still won't let me speak on it to anypony. The only thing she wants to do is protect me and her subjects."

So... That day I was informed that the mirror was completed, Shining walked into Luna's office and told her that the changelings were primed to attack at any given moment. I remember overhearing their talk with one another about it. I even heard the last little bit of the exchange between one of the other guards that accompanied him. And even he dismissed him for being spiteful for the attacks on his wedding day. In this case, Shining was actually the boy who cried wolf.

And this time, he got it right.

"I understand. Nobody was expecting them to attack, especially considering that they were defeated two years prior."

"Two years ago, they also attacked Ponyville without warning. They kidnapped three foals in the process, those three being the siblings of the element bearers."

You've got to be kidding me. Did she really mean that... "Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle were all kidnapped?"

"Yes. And I had to combat some rather disturbing dreams they had as well. And similar to what I did for them, I will do for you."

I felt myself magically being lifted up off of the bed. Luna began pulling the sheets from underneath me and covering me as she started to tuck me in as I was some sort of child. Not that I was complaining from the experience. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to enter into your dreams. I will alter the landscape so that your mind will be placed at ease rather than reliving the stressful re-simulation of your earlier exploits."

So in short, I was going to be babied from now until dawn. Again, not complaining. "How often do you do this?"

"Many times throughout the night. Many times throughout the week. However many times it takes to ensure that my subjects are well-rested and sound in mind."

I watched as Luna started to turn off some of the lights around the room. She gradually worked her way to the ones beside the bed before stopping with the lamp on the nightstand beside me. "How do I know that this might not get worse?"

"It won't." She stated sternly, completely assured that I was not going to have to wake up in a cold sweat anymore. "Now close your eyes, imagine a blank world where there is nothing but white, visualize yourself in the center of that world, and let sleep take you. I will handle the rest."

As she turned off the final light, I watched as she illuminated the room with just her horn. As her magic continued to light up the room, I began to feel my eyelids become heavy again. I started to take her advice, but when she opened the door, the light she gave off was suddenly extinguished. I knew that I was in a safe place, but for some odd reason, I felt myself finding more comfort under the sheets of my bed.

I closed my eyes shut, trying my hardest to envision a world of nothing but white. I continued to force myself asleep until my mind started to relax. Eventually my eyelids, once clenching shut, had loosened and my body finally succumbed to sleep.

I surrendered all to slumber. And in turn, I was at peace.

My eyes fluttered opened to an unexpected surprise. Somehow, I didn't even notice the purple alicorn getting into my bed and wrapping her hooves around me. She held me a lot closer than usual. Instead of nearly shoving me off the bed, we remained in the center. Both she and I were with significant room. I started to see that she was sound asleep. I looked around the room, taking notice that the sun had climbed high into the sky. This room was a lot different from the one we had in Ponyville. For starters, it was a LOT larger. The bed was still smaller than mine, but it was still amazingly capable of holding both me and Twilight. I guess that's why Canterlot Castle is considered as the loftiest location for dignitaries to lay their weary heads.

As I continued to lay in bed, my mind wandered back to yesterday. Of course it went back to that one event, but only so briefly. Where my mind transitioned to instead was the aftermath. After a long and eventful day, we all finally hauled to Canterlot. And by hauled, I mean flown in from the cliff just outside of the city to the front gates. By the time night had come, we were all accommodated to a few nights at the local inn. But thanks to Twilight pulling a few strings, both of her parents and I were given rooms at the castle. After the strenuous affair, my arms and legs were sore from the fighting while my mind was still running on full-alert. The adrenaline still lingered in my system as I made it into the castle. Celestia and the others greeted us with warm welcomes.

Meanwhile, Luna and Twilight were busy trying to direct the efforts of the clean-up. And by the time she finished her work, she was slowly trudging towards another one of the guest rooms. Her mane was a disheveled mess as she finally walked into the room, slamming the door after herself. It seemed that yesterday was a bit taxing on her as well. Understandably so considering that she couldn't find her parents for a good half of the day.

I looked at the complimentary alarm clock on the nightstand and saw that it was well past nine in the morning.

"Aw shit." I muttered to myself. Instantly, I had pulled myself out of the bed and began frantically getting myself prepared for today's shift. But when I began to enter into the bathroom, I felt something lift me up and levitate me back over to the bed.

"Mmmm..." She stirred. "Get back over here. You're not doing anything today."

I think with there being an attack on our capital, that would warrant me to suit up and get ready for anything else I might run into. Ignoring her suggestion, I walked back to the bathroom. Instead, I was teleported back onto the bed, where a certain purple princess greedily held me against her.

"Noooo. Stay." She wearily commanded.

"Twilight, it's after nine. I need to get moving."

"You follow my orders. And I order you to remain my hugging pillow for the morning."

"Orders denied." I said as I tried to wrestle out of her grip.

"No. You will obey them. I'm not giving you a choice in the matter." She stated as her hooves persisted to hold me against my will.

"With all due respect, princess-"

Finally, she decided to straddle herself over me, her rear end pinning my pelvic region to the bed as her hooves held my chest against the bed. "Now you really don't have a choice in the matter. I told you to stay, and you're going to do just that."

"What if I have a complaint?" I asked quietly, giving her a serious look.

She smiled innocently as she started to wind her hips, causing her soft, purple cheeks to press further into me. "Then I could convince you otherwise."

I started to feel myself becoming a little moistened as she continued rubbing her nethers against my early-morning salute. And if she was going to continue to take me into this direction, I guess I wouldn't mind sticking around.

I'm really starting to feel like a sucker for this whole tease routine.

"You know, you put me through a lot of grief when I saw that train moving." She whispered as she started to pull the covers out and wrap us both underneath.

"That wasn't my fault and you know it." I shot back, causing her to giggle at my being defensive.

"And? You were on the train. If things didn't work out like they did, then not only would I have lost you, but mom and dad as well."

Well, that much is true. Nobody wants to lose so much all at once. "But you didn't though."

"Yeah, I didn't. Which is another reason why I'm really wanting you to stay holed up in this room with me today." She said as she slowly lowered her muzzle towards me. "So now, I can do whatever I want with you today."

"Don't you have to work on clean-up?" I asked as she kissed me softly on my neck.

"That was yesterday. I got the day off for today. Celestia decided that Shining and I did so much yesterday..." She kissed the bare skin of my shoulders, slowly stamping me with moistened seals of her affection. "...and nearly lost so much..." She rose off of me for a brief second to shift herself downward. "...that she offered to give us a brief resting period."

My heart rate began to increase out of anticipation. Her hooves gently traced down my chest and stopped short of my navel. She looked back to me with a mischievous smirk while I began to feel myself becoming somewhat turned on. The purple princess giggled before changing her tactics a bit, slamming her muzzle into my abdomen and blowing against my skin. I shuddered a bit from the ticklish sensation and started to push her downwards to get her off of me. In turn, she used her magic to hold my hands away from her as she continued to blow raspberries into me. Shamefully, I began to laugh at her while she continued to treat me like I was some sort of baby.

Her raspberries, however, turned into kisses again. Only this time, her kisses became agonizingly slow. From time to time, she would nuzzle me as she did. "You know, you can be a bit childish."

"You know, you could be a bit of a tease." I shot back.

"Hmmm... I thought I was just having fun with you. You want me to stop?"

I shook my head in response to her suggestion. "No. By all means, keep doing you."

She took the time to let my hands go as she began to lightly circle her tongue around my navel, causing shivers to wander down my spine and throughout my body. In random intervals, she would take her tongue off of me and blow against the wet circles she created. Normally her breath would be quite warm, but the trails she left made it feel as cold as the north. She licked her lips and resumed her earlier ministrations. My hands started to find their way to her head. Pushing her down towards where I was really wanting her to go.

Yet again, I was withheld by her magic. Only this time, she wrapped them together and placed them against the backboard of the bed. She rose up to give me a stern look. "At my pace, mister. I wouldn't want you to rush."

My arms struggled to get free from her arcane bonds, but their efforts were in vain. "I don't think we have the time to slow-play."

"Well if we don't, then maybe I should stop here." She answered, starting to leave the bed.

"No no no! Take your time!" I was quick to stop her, but foolish to allow myself to fall into another one of her traps. She was going to milk every minute off of the clock just to get me stirred up. And just when I'm all excited, something happens to where she'll leave me with a bad case of blueballs.

It worked every single time. Not to mention that the timing of inconvenience was always too good. I swear it was like she was doing it on purpose when I know she isn't.

Her magic started to redirect itself towards a different location. Instead of holding my hands to the bedpost, she was quietly rubbing against my crotch. And thankfully, my lack of underwear was providing me with some much-appreciated freedom. Her shower of kisses soon descended from my abdomen on down to where they truly belong. She gave me a single peck against my stiffened erection. My body proceeded to shift a bit, becoming restless from the unfamiliar, yet pleasurable, sensation.

As she held me, her magic stimulated me in a way that my hand couldn't. A soft grunt left my lips as my eyes became fixated on the action underneath the sheets. Twilight's eyes looked back up to me, giving me a lustful stare. She hummed happily as she rose back up to greet the tip of my throbbing flesh. Her lips gently seared me while she showered the shaft with all of her adoration. When she reached the bottom, she started to suckle against the fleshy orbs of my manhood. A series of slurps and pops sounded while she continued to use her magic to massage my length.

I writhed in pleasure and closed my eyes as I was taken to another world, one of pleasure. My hands desperately sought her, offering a means of payment for her services. My hands inched along her body, seeking the place she hid from me on a daily basis. But as I went along, I found that in my current position, I was unable to reach any further than her cutie mark. I sat up to give myself some additional distance and allowed my hands to massage the plump purple cheeks she'd often tease me with. She let loose a soft moan against my sex, causing the vibrations of her voice and the heat of her breath set my kindled flame of desire into a raging inferno of obsession.

She rose up once more, this time breathing slowly as she hovered just inches above me. She rose far enough to let me protest her absence, but stopped enough to where she still could surprise me. And that she did with her next performance.

She puckered up, leaning just a few inches away from my quivering form. Her lips allowed a small bead of saliva to form. My eyes widened to what she was threatening to do. As soon as a suitable amount of her fluids pooled from her lips, the small wad started to stretch downwards. Gravity soon took over and pulled against the bead, ultimately severing it from her lips. Her aim was precise as her small little bead landed against the tip of my head, tearing down the side past the flare and slowly making it's way down the side. She looked at me with a menacing smile.

I couldn't resist. One of my hands left her backside, seeking her chin. When I had found what I was aiming for, I pulled her in, locking my lips against hers. She seemed taken by surprise by my sudden aggressive behavior while I ruthlessly pressed against her. My tongue pried her lips apart, seeking hers. When she tried to back away, my other hand held her in place. I parted for a quick breath, and ran back in with my mouth greedily hung open. I sounded out my desire to ravage her via primal grunts and hisses of air. My eyes didn't close out of my desire to see her. I became fixated on her, wanting to ruin her. She looked back at me as I pulled her head against mine.

When I broke away, she was left in a hypnotic daze. In the fraction of a second I started to pull away from her completely, she used her magic to yank me back in. Her tongue plunged into my mouth with severe aggression. Her lips tried to lock me in, but kept failing as I pushed back. She became agitated to the point where she broke off and decided to let her tongue do the work. Mine flickered against hers, fighting her as if we were at war with one another. Once more, our lips met. She started to realize that she was fighting a losing battle when one of my hands gave her pretty purple posterior a firm slap. My palm met with her hide, creating the sound akin to a whip cracking. The impact sent ripples through the purple cheeks. She squeaked through my mouth and broke off long enough to speak.

"I hate you. I hate you so much." She said with a bit off spittle still hanging off of her lip.

"You look absolutely terrible right now." I answered, taking notice of her disheveled mane.

She rolled her eyes and leaned in against me, giving me several smaller kisses. Each kiss she gave me smacked loudly with each separation. After a short while, she gave me one final kiss, her tongue quickly kissing mine. Her body started to shift while she held herself against me. Our lips separated quickly, a bridge of fluid appearing between us briefly before her abrupt separation broke it off. In a motion of wanton ruthlessness, she sank her lips around my sex.

Never have I imagined myself throwing my head back in response to anything sexual. Instead, I moaned loudly as I my hand caressed her neck. My other hand bushed her mane out of the way so that I could enjoy the sight. Her attention was primarily focused on what she was doing. Her head bobbed back and forth, her lips carefully massaging me. But what nearly set me off was the sensation of her broad tongue brushing against my length. Her eyes briefly looked back up to me to see my response. I looked at her, almost appearing in pain as she continued. She quickly pulled off of me to speak.

"You okay?"

"You're way too good at this." I praised while I leaned forward to give her a kiss.

She took my response in stride as she resumed her earlier ministrations. This time, her tongue flickered against the head of my manhood, tickling me all the while. Her magic masturbated me while her tongue continued to swirl around my sex. Her lips soon devoured me. I hissed from her intense methods. My body began to seize up in anticipation of my inevitable climax. Though I cursed myself for being unable to last a bit longer, she was trying her hardest to push me there as quickly as possible.

"Twilight, slow down a bit... ohhh yes."

She kept going at her usual pace. I tried to use my hands to get her attention, but it seemed that she had other plans. She lit her horn and telekinetically pulled my arm back to her plentiful flanks. I used my free hand to grasp at her horn to knock her magic out.

"Ahh!" She screamed out with a blush. She brought her full attention to my face, all with the intention to follow up with my reactions as she vehemently bobbed her head up and down. My hands began to tighten their grip to whatever I held onto. She cried out in pain as I did. When I had looked down, I had noticed that my hand was firmly grasping at her purple cheeks. I threatened to release, but somehow she powered her horn despite my hand being on it and forced me to grab on even harder.

My climax was steadily approaching. My entire body tensed in preparation. My heart started to throb in a rapid pace. My breathing increased as my eyes became fixated on her. And the look she gave me, the powerful stare she gave me that demanded me to let go. The pent-up pressure of me not being able to release for months and months at a time. She didn't even seem to care that I was about to let loose. Instead she kept going. She continued to milk me for every single seed. I trembled as I finally climbed past the point of no return.

"Twilight... Gah!"

"Morning, you two!"

"MOOORNING!!!" I screamed in pain as I looked at the mare underneath the sheets. I looked at her with a strained expression. She looked back at me with one of sheer horror and embarrassment. And rightfully so, considering that her mother had just walked in on us. Her eyes widened and watered at the sound of the mare's voice. Obviously, I can see where Shining got his 'disregard-of-privacy-by-plowing-through-your-door-without-even-knocking' from.

"You seem really tense, Nondis dear. You should learn how to loosen up a bit." Velvet stated as she eyed the indigo and purple tail hanging off of the bed. "Same goes for you!"

A light blue magic aura yanked at Twilight's tail, causing her to release the vice-grip hold she had on my manhood. "Hmmmph!" She hummed with surprise.

"You two don't have all day to be sleeping in here. Come on, let's get moving! Get up! It's getting near ten already!" She stated as she trotted to the other side of the bed to pull the covers off of me.

Almost instantly, I had grabbed a pillow to hide myself. Twilight had pulled off of me, trying to take with her any evidence of our early-morning activities. By the time Velvet had yanked off the sheets, the two of us were already covered. But we both also shared the shame and embarrassment of being unveiled at such an intimate moment. Twilight tried to keep from crying, while I was trying to keep this pillow firmly pressed against my crotch. Though it didn't help that I was busy letting loose into the pillow as well.

My first release since my coming into Equestria and I was cumming ropes into a pillow with my girlfriend and her mother watching. Sounds like another one of those 'American Pie' stories that I would not tell to my grandkids. And what had made it worse was that my jittery spasms weren't as subtle as I tried to make them out to be. And Velvet had taken notice of it.

"Wow. It seems like you're really pumping into that poor pillow without any sort of restraint. Was it that good?"

And this mare was going to be my mother-in-law... Currently processing that.

"Twilight." She called out to her daughter. "You seem a bit flushed. Are you okay?"

"Mmmhmm." She nodded to confirm.

"Well if you're okay, then count to twenty."

Damn, she's evil. I can't believe she was making her do this. Twilight shook her head in response. "Hmmhmmm!"

Velvet sat on the bed... in the same exact spot we were just in. The two of us just cringed with embarrassment as we both watched her sit. "Twilight Violet Sparkle, You know that I've raised you better than that."

Twilight dipped her head in shame. I felt so sorry for her.

"And you mister, you should be ashamed of yourself." She said, turning her attention to me. "Engaging in such illicit activity with a mare you haven't even married yet. The thought of it is just downright scandalous!"

"Sorry." I mumbled quietly as I finished off my ruined orgasm.

She returned her attention to the purple mare. "Now as for you, young lady, if you're going to try and perform a cleanup, then you should at least take responsibility for your actions."

Twilight nodded slowly, not even daring to look up to her mother.

"Now both of you face each other."

We both did as we were instructed. As we did, Twilight finally raised her head to me, trying to focus on just me alone.

"Nondis, apologize."

I grimaced as I tightened the pillow on my crotch. "...Sorry."

"Twilight, swallow."

SHE SAID WHAT!? Twilight's eyes grew large from the shock of her mother's command. The purple mare reluctantly looked at me, clenching her eyes closed and swallowed the first few streams of my seed. I could never feel the level of shame Twilight had to go though in that one brief moment. I looked back over to Velvet, who was smiling.

"There you go dear. That wasn't too hard, now was it?"

Twilight grabbed the nearest thing she could use to cover her face. Unfortunately for both me and her, it had to be the pillow I was holding to hide myself. She grabbed the pillow while I called out to her. "Twi- oh fuck..." I instantly facepalmed myself.

She didn't have to bury herself into the side I came on.

"Twilight, if there's one thing you should know in marriage, it is that swallowing your husband's seed is a perfectly normal experience. And in some other cases... I guess snowballing works too."

AND THIS MARE IS GOING TO BE MY MOTHER IN LAW... Attempting to process that.

I covered myself to the best of my abilities. I clasped my hands around my crotch to prevent any unwanted exposure. Especially considering that the door was actually open. I guess it would help us if we somehow changed the subject. "So... what are you doing here?"

"Well, I came her to wake you two up and invite you both to breakfast. I didn't expect my daughter to spoil her appetite, but foals, what can you do?"

I think she had started to bury herself into that pillow a lot more than what I was comfortable with. "Well, do you mind if I kind get dressed? Humans don't like to walk around without any clothes on."

She looked at me curiously. "Well why not? Ponies don't wear clothes to breakfast. And honestly, neither should you."

She really doesn't understand where I'm going with this. "Ma'am-"

"Oh for goodness sake, Velvet! Stop harassing those two!"

I'm really wishing that I had stayed asleep now. As soon as Crescent walked through the door, I could already imagine just how much Twilight wanted to teleport elsewhere. To be honest, I'm more surprised that she didn't do it already. I guess being caught by your parents while you were having sex does tend to have a strong effect on your decision-making. That especially being taken into account from the fact that I'm still sporting teeth marks on my junk. But now seemed like a good time to remind her of that ability.

"Twilight, just how far can you teleport?"

"Would 'half-a-world away' sound decent?" She muffled through the pillow.

"Mind taking me with you?" I suggested as I tried to keep my junk away from peering eyes. More so, from Twilight's all-too curious mother.

"Twilight, excuse your mother. Apparently, she's taken the liberty of busting in on you two despite my proposal to leave you both undisturbed. And a heartfelt apology to you too, sir Nondis. I'm more than certain that you're sharing the same level of embarrassment that my daughter is."

Amazingly, he's pretty cool with me engaging in anything sexual with his daughter. Hell, I'm butt-ass naked and currently trying to hide myself away from both him and his wife. How is he not busting a gasket over this? "I'm sorry for my putting all of us in this precarious situation."

"Don't apologize dear. I didn't mean to walk in just as you were reaching your big finish... I wanted to do so immediately after."

"Mom, dad, how long were you two just outside of our door?" Twilight asked, her voice muffled by the pillow.

"Not very long. We were just passing by when we heard noises." Crescent admitted. "Of course, I told Velvet to leave you two alone." He gave his wife a disappointed look.

"And miss out on the opportunity of learning the mating practices of another sentient species that comes from a different world? Why, the scientific findings would warrant award-winning literature!"

Twilight groaned through the pillow.

"Twilight, put the pillow down." Crescent asked.

She shook her head rapidly. "I'm not leaving from behind this pillow and you know it!"

And I knew exactly why. "Twilight... teleport to the bathroom." I muttered to her.

"Leaving now." She whimpered before she disappeared in a final flash of magenta and white.

As I crept over to the nightstand, I grabbed another pillow off of the bed and shielded myself from view. I pulled open the drawer and grabbed one of the complimentary towels they had in stock. Wrapping my waist and tucking the towel in, I made myself a modified kilt to shield myself from view. At least I was fine until the pony with my clothes came back from the cleaners. "So what's for breakfast?"

Crescent started to pull his wife along towards the door while he answered my question. "Actually, Princess Celestia made yours special. She provided some rather... controversial accommodations for you, being that your dietary supplements would consist of both vegetables and meats of a sorted variety. So your breakfast consists of eggs, pancakes, hashbrowns, and ham."

"That sounds awesome." I said, nearly drooling from the mouth.

"Do you really eat meat?" Velvet questioned me, trying to look even further into my mouth. "Doesn't look like you're equipped to do that."

I held my mouth open and pulled back my cheek to reveal a set of canine teeth. "I know, right? They aren't even that sharp."

Velvet became a little spooked at my reveal. Almost instantly, she backed away. "Okay, I get your point!"

Crescent looked at me for a while before bursting out with laughter. "I knew my daughter always laughed in the face of danger. Never thought she'd fall in love with it."

I felt taken aback by his statements. "I'm not dangerous..." Then again, I'm a well-trained guard capable of using close-quarter combat weapons, with a gun. I'm not exactly the safest thing here. "Well, I don't wanna be dangerous to her. I love her!"

"I know." He answered back. "That's why I'm more than certain that you'll be a good fit for my daughter. Not only can you play the role of a protective lover, but also a menacing guard. You'd be like one of the Lunar Guards, only that your teeth would actually have a preset function rather than being solely for show."

I started to walk towards the door, offering to close it when a maid came to the door with a folded shirt and pair of jeans on a silver platter. A pair of boxers sat on the side. I didn't expect them to come out of the cleaners so soon. But then again, considering that they had magic, I wouldn't be all that surprised if they used a spell or two to get the blood stains out. "Thanks."

The maid gave me a bow before setting out down the hall. Starting with my boxers, I placed my legs through the holes and pulled them underneath my 'kilt'. Following that were my pants. When I only had to button up my pants, I removed the towel and finished fastening my pants on. Lastly, I threw on my shirt and slipped on my shoes by the bed. Finally, I was dressed well enough to walk outside of my room.

"So are you ready to go?" Velvet asked.

"I guess." I answered as I finally made my way out into the hall. Velvet and Crescent followed close behind. But then I stopped myself for a moment to walk back into the room and call on Twilight. "Twi, you okay in there?"

"GO AWAY!" She cried.

Velvet and Crescent overheard the cry of their daughter and held still. I briefly stepped outside to speak with them. "I'll be down in a minute. You two go on ahead."

"Take your time." Crescent was the first to take his leave, but he also took it upon himself to drag his nosy wife with him.

Meanwhile, I closed the door and walked over to the bathroom. As soon as I knocked, Twilight screamed at me again. "I SAID GO AWAY!"

"Twilight, I'm coming in." I said, walking through the door.

When I had entered into the bathroom. I could see Twilight balled up in a corner, hiding her face from me. Obviously she was crying quite a bit. She tried to magically throw a bar of soap at me, but luckily her aim wasn't as great as it was yesterday. "What part of 'leave me alone' don't you understand."

"Well, 'leave' and 'alone' doesn't exactly sit well with me, considering that you're in the middle of that sentence... That and you're currently crying in the corner of a bathroom next to a cum-stained pillow."

"Just go away already!" She tried to throw the pillow she used to hide her face and missed her mark. I was more than relieved that it didn't hit me in the face instead.

I walked over to her and sat beside her. I took a deep breath and rubbed her back as I spoke. "I'm not gonna leave you in here. And I'm not gonna go to breakfast unless you're sitting right beside me. There's no way I'm gonna let you stand in this empty bathroom alone with you crying. You know this."

"I'm so embarrassed... My mom walked in on us... doing... I'll never live it down."

"Yes you will. Because there's much more to life than one awkward moment."

She turned herself to me screaming. "Look at me! You said it yourself, I look a mess!"

Obviously so. The tears and cum stains didn't make it any better. But while she looked at me, I saw much more than what she looked like as of now. I saw who she was as an individual. I didn't see her for the disheveled mane, I saw the down-to-earth girl I met when I had gotten here. I didn't let the mess on her face deter me. She was still beautiful regardless of what she may have looked like. I had gotten to know just how wonderful she was, and because of her, I was more than willing to prove just how much I wanted to be there for her.

True, there would be times where I would go through some rather painful trials, I'd be embarrassed at times, and there would be occasions where I just wanted to take those moments back and rewrite them all over again. But in spite of it all, I would never take back those moments. Some would question me why, but I'd say that if something was worth loving, you'd sooner die for it than die without. If I wanted to live here, in a word where I stood out, where nothing was made with me in mind, then my incentive would've been something long-lasting.

And that long-lasting incentive was spending the rest of my life with this wonderful girl that took me in, who showed me how to leave my former, isolated self behind in pursuit of opening my eyes to the world. This mare who changed my entire existence and what it stood for.

And I would be damned if I saw her cry.

I stood up from the floor and walked over to where the pillow was, picked it up and screamed as I plunged myself face-first into the stained side... The things I do for love.

"What are you doing?" I heard Twilight ask me through the pillow.

"You know... I kinda know why you kept your face in here for so long. You know that feeling when you do something so stupid and disgusting that you can't do nothing but stand frozen in place, shocked that you actually did it? Yeah... that."

Twilight started to giggle at me as I still held the pillow to my face. "You okay."

"I'm fine. Just... horrifically mortified."

She tried to pull the pillow from my face. I gladly resisted. "Come on, let me see."

"NO!" I shouted through the pillow.

Finally she teleported the pillow somewhere else, leaving me only with the open space between my hands and my face. As soon as she got a good look of my face, she snickered for a bit. It took her a minute to start going from snickering, to snorting, to giggling, and finally full-blown laughter.

"Yeah, laugh it up, dammit." I said as I looked away with a blush so red, Big Mac would turn green with envy.

Twilight pointed at me as she struggled to breathe. "You've... got a little... something... BWAHAHAHAHA! I-I... BAHAHAHAHA! CAN'T BREATHE! HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

I can see she's feeling quite better already. "...It's my cum, so it doesn't matter!" Somehow, that didn't make me feel any better about myself.

Her laughter only seemed to intensify. Of course, her laughter became contagious to me overtime. I started to share my laughter in turn. Especially considering the statement I made about it being my cum. Indirectly, I just came on my own face. It's supposed to be the exact opposite. And yet the irony of the situation only made it all the more hilarious.

My entire face turned red, not just from the shame of having my own cum on my face, but the absurdity of it all. It was disgusting and downright wrong. And Twilight was not going to let me live this down.

As soon as we started to wind down a bit. I walked over to the sink and started running some warm water onto a rag. I proceeded to look for that bar of soap she threw at me just moments earlier. "Twilight Sparkle, we will never speak of this again. Not ever."

She grabbed the rag from me. "Aww! Just let me have this moment, please?"

"No. This moment is to be forgotten."

"I'll love you forever!" She pleaded.

"Not even once." I stated sternly.

"Pwease!?" She asked me, giving me the puppy-dog eyes.

I tried to look away, but instead, she'd teleport herself to me, forcing me to look at her. And for every second she spent making that face at me, I felt my willpower crumble into literally nothing. I sighed heavily and mumbled in a low voice. "This will be between just the two of us. Deal?"

She giggled a bit as she handed me the wet rag. "Deal."

Before I could get started washing my face, she tilted my head to the side and gave me a long and passionate kiss on the lips. She smiled at me as she whispered to me. "You look absolutely terrible right now."

This chapter was written at a bit of a slower pace, so I apologize if it seemed like it dragged on for some. Stay tuned for the next chapter.

Also, Velvet is a bit of a bugaboo, isn't she?

Twilight and I walked out of the bathroom with cleansed faces, as well as a brand new sense of adoration for one another. She loved me for my desire to stay by her side, no matter how sticky the situation. And I loved her for just who she was, the semi-social bookworm that kicks ass. Even despite the earlier situation, she found the strength to look me in the eye.

Not to mention that she was constantly apologizing for giving the little guy below the belt a good jawing.

I wasn't deterred, though it would take some time for me to warm up to the idea of her performing oral on me again. But I still loved her nonetheless. She could be horrible in bed, a terrible cook, or a pony who had a busy schedule, but none of that would still make me leave her. After all, I didn't come all this way for ulterior motives.

And let's be honest, if I was careless, selfish, and flippant, I would've left her in pursuit of one of her friends as a rebound. Hell even thinking about it makes me wanna punch myself in the face. The last thing I'd wanna be is Caramel 2.0.. The last thing I'd wanna do is run into another one of him, let alone becoming one myself.

After we had left the room. We walked further down the hall, made our way downstairs and entered into the hall just outside of the dining room. Twilight received a few bows from two of the guards that stood beside the door. But as I approached, the guards weren't so compassionate. I guess word of my eating meat isn't exactly the best news they heard for the week, considering the attacks from yesterday. Ignoring them, I made my way into the dining room.

In the words of a familiar, bald yellow man I used to watch in my childhood days: LOOK HOW LOUD I HAVE TO YELL!

This place was monumentally huge. I think the ceiling was a full three stories high. The room reached what could've been from one end of Applejack's barn to the other end, reaching just outside of the doorway. In the center was a large table filled with assorted meals. A majority of the food was something along the lines of being oat or hay based. Princess Celestia sat the end of the table, sipping on a warm cup of tea. Luna sat next to her, casually reading the newspaper for anymore news aside from the events that transpired yesterday.

And due to the fact that yesterday's news was today's international headlines, one could assume she was hiding herself in that newspaper for obvious reasons. Shining Armor and Cadance sat to the princesses' left. Velvet and Crescent were already seated to their right, waving both of us over. Both Twilight and I blushed at the two unicorns at the table. Our reasons for feeling somewhat bashful were rightfully justified. As soon as we made our way towards the nearest two open seats, a maid pulled our chairs out for us, waited for us to be seated and laid out our glasses, plates, and silverware. When I had sat down, the maid that served me seemed a bit timid to see me.

Then again, I was the only non-equine being in the room. I guess that's something to feel a bit uneasy at. I ultimately decided to pay it no mind as Twilight whispered out my name. I looked towards her as she sat directly across from me. She mouthed her words to me. "I love you."

I decided to mouth her back. "I love you more."

She became a little flustered at my response. She decided to up the ante. "I love you twice as much."

I accepted the challenge she offered to me. "I love you times infinity."

"Do you two need a room again?" Velvet asked, causing us both to become red-faced. We both looked to her, watching her drink her tea as if she hadn't said anything at all.

As we both calmed down for a bit, the doors to the dining room opened to reveal a white unicorn with a golden mane. I had grown to identify who he was by appearance. He was none other than Prince Blueblood. "Good morning to all." He casually spoke as he started to take his seat directly next to me. He turned his attention to Princess Celestia. "Auntie, would you mind if I dine with company this morning."

"Not at all." She answered softly.

Blueblood turned his head to the door and called out. "Wives, please sit yourselves."

Almost like an assembly line, the seven mares, each with outrageous manes and wigs took up a chair and sat themselves on either side of the table. A few of the mares started to fight over who would sit in front or beside him. Thankfully, Celestia's presence was more than a discouraging factor to keep their infighting at a minimum. Cadance and Shining Armor shook their heads at the absurd collection of mares the unicorn prince invited. It seems that they weren't having their shit either. And who could blame them?

"So, is the human eating with us this morning?" Blueblood asked, somewhat in a condescending tone.

"He will. And I expect him to do so without being scrutinized. So if you manage to see something that you don't agree with, feel free to talk with me after the meal." It seems that Celestia was fixated on trying to make me feel comfortable. I understand that my dietary options are controversial to many, but I don't think she'll have to worry too much about that.

"So, Sir Nondis, did you sleep well?" Luna asked as she lowered the newspaper to look at me. "Did your dreams trouble you any further from the time I left last night?"

Twilight's eyes snapped to Luna. It appears that she was dumbfounded that Luna visited me in the wee hours of the morning. Though this wasn't her being jealous... or at least that's what I'm thinking. I answered her question. "Yeah. I've slept pretty nicely. I didn't know you had the abilities to change dreams like that."

"Actually," Twilight began. "Princess Luna's abilities go beyond changing dreams. She can create brand new dreams. She can also dive into one's consciousness and speak with them there. She could even obtain some pretty useful information that way."

"Though that would be for special occasions." Luna added.

Though that did raise a few questions. "So stupid question. Can you speak with the dead?"

Blueblood scoffed at me, shaking his head. "Of course not! She's not a shaman of some sort. Not even Starswirl the Bearded could master such magic. To do so would be to delve into necromancy."

And given his response, I guess that must be a bad thing. "So... Speaking with the dead is a big no-no?"

"Indeed." Celestia concluded. "To do so would be to disrupt the natural order of life and death. The boundaries between the two realms are to never be crossed. Otherwise, dark, sinister magic could corrupt the normal magic of the living, changing them forever."

"So what do you call it?" I asked.

"Simply dark magic." Velvet contributed. "If one is a practitioner of that magic, their bodies could drastically change. Their wings could deteriorate and reform as something unsightly. Their horns could curve and become discolored. Their bodies can become quite frail. Not to mention they would need to feed on powerful magic in order to survive."

That seems a bit high-risk for learning how to delve into the void between the two planes of existence. But if one was to tread that line, then I suppose the risks would warrant the results. But why would one dare to go so far? "So, are there any others who's mastered this magic? Just to be curious."

"There were quite a few practitioners of that art." Cadance explained. "However, when many of them started to see the consequences of learning that magic, they turned away from it, forever marred by it. Even fewer became regular users, that is until their bodies decided to crumble away or deteriorate. And even up to this day, there are only two who could ever be considered as masters of the art."

"And those two are?" I inquired.

"One was a powerful unicorn of the north. He continued to practice his magic and find alternatives to bypassing the side-effects of the process. His body remained somewhat stable over time. And his magic was so powerful that he could enslave an entire race. As far as his real name, nopony knows what it is. But he proclaimed himself to be the king of the north. King Sombra of the Crystal Empire."

Twilight seemed to shudder a bit at his name. Wow, even she's a bit shaken up from it. I had to know more about this guy. "So what was his deal?"

"Everything." Shining added. "He enslaved the Crystal Empire, sent the ponies into slumber by the time Princess Celestia and Princess Luna arrived, holding their consciousness hostage. And not only did he hold the consciousness of the ponies who stayed there, he also held the city hostage as well. And even when he was defeated the first time, well over a thousand years ago, he was banished within the ice of the north, forever to be a shadow. However, he took the city and it's citizens with him, vanishing into thin air."

That means that he could've been a recurring problem. "I couldn't help but notice that you said 'the first time he was defeated'. But were there any others?"

"Only a second one." Twilight added. "When Spike and I found the Crystal Heart, an ancient artifact known to spread love and magic throughout all of Equestria, he threatened to enslave us as well. However, Spike managed to retrieve the artifact, and he delivered it to Princess Cadance. Once she placed the heart where it belonged, the city started to regain it's former glory, and Sombra was defeated a second time."

"So, did he ever come back?"

Cadance hummed as she looked towards the group of servants entering into the dining room with fresh food. "Remember when we were talking about how dark magic can ultimately destroy the body? Well despite taking shortcuts and alternate routes to receive his power, Sombra's body was still significantly weakened. So when the blast of magic surged forth from the Crystal Heart, his body could no longer stand against it. He shattered into many fragments, never to be seen again."

What a way to go. I see that he didn't manage to make it to his monologue about how he conquered everything that the good guys stood for. "That unfortunate for him. So there's one of these 'masters' left now?"

Shining Armor looked to his wife. She closed her eyes and drew a breath before she started.

"A long time ago, before I was a princess, I was taken in by a village of earth ponies. From what I was told, I was originally found in the woods."

"Did your parents ever come and get you?" I asked.

"No. I don't know who my parents are. But that's a story for another time."

I decided to remain silent as she carried on.

"So when I grew ten years later, I had encountered a pretty disturbing issue. The ponies that took me in began to fight with one another. And as time progressed, the whole village began to argue and fight. The small, peaceful town I grew to love and call home had suddenly turned dark. But that when I had noticed that there was an unusual pony, a unicorn to be exact, that would walk through the village with a shiny red amulet. As soon as she walked through, I saw an eerie mist slighter across the ground, all of it being absorbed into her. I ran as far away as I could, running faster and faster until I had run into a cave. But just when I though I was safe... I wasn't."

Cadance started to clench her eyes as she tried to prevent the tears from rolling down her face. Thankfully, her efforts were not in vain. I already knew that this was going to be painful for her to disclose. I was going to motion her to stop there, but she continued anyhow.

"When she finished trying to instill her hatred and jealousy into me, I still remained pure. So she decided to take things even further, to push me to hate her so that she could feed off of my love... In short, I had lost my innocence that day, in more ways than one. But I still stood up to her, showing her that I still had the love in my heart. When I had went back into the village, I ran back crying into my caretakers' hooves. I began to share the love I had for them with them. And soon they found the light of my love, burning through the darkness that clouded their way. I did this for every villager, and gave them all my love and appreciation."

"So what happened to the unicorn?"

"Prismia, the unicorn that tried to corrupt the village, started to walk through the town once more. But when she realized that her magic wasn't taking it's usual effect, she stood in the town square and shouted for the villagers to hate one another. And that's where I stood up to her. She screamed and shouted over how I should be in contempt over what she did to me, how I should blame the other villagers for not saving me when I needed them the most, but she was wrong. I had no reason to blame them for something that they didn't do. Instead, I showed them just how much they meant to me. And that love resonated throughout every pony in that village. She stood there, weakened from the lack of love she absorbed and converted into hatred. So she began to deteriorate before our very eyes. And when she was too weak to hold her amulet, she ran off."

"So it's safe to say that she died?" I asked, trying to piece it together.

"If only it was that easy. She continued to travel throughout the lands, stealing the love from every individual stallion she met. She would meet up with a lonely, heartbroken stallion, make his dreams come true, give him a foal and suck him dry. This entire process continued for well over a few decades. To this day, legend says that she rests in the Southern Badlands, raising all of the foals she had from every stallion. And when they grew old enough, she'd mate with them, producing offspring at an insurmountable rate. Never ceasing, never resting, she continued this until she built an army of deformed drones. All of whom could feed off of the love of other unsuspecting ponies."

Feeding off of the love of others. That made me think back to what I heard on the train. I overheard the changeling captain say something about feasting on the love of a family. It began to add up. "Feeding off of the love of others... The changelings?"

"Correct." Cadance confirmed as her plate was set before her.

"So if Prismia is the birth-mother of the hive, then is it possible that she could be running the whole entire operation?" I questioned, wanting more of an insight of the matter.

"Not possible." Celestia summarized. "Their leader attacked us directly two years ago. If anything, the notion of them having multiple leaders would be nothing short of irrational."

"And yet Equestria has four." I pointed out. "Hell, two if you wanna get into the absolute-power thing."

"But we all bear different titles." Twilight rebutted as she started to prepare herself for her meal. "Both Cadance and I are municipal leaders. Cadance has the Crystal Empire, and I have Ponyville. Celestia and Luna both bear the burden of changing the day itself."

"And furthermore, their leader was considered as a 'queen'. That would mean there's only one to hold that title." Crescent added. "You may have multiple princess carrying out multiple burdens, but never more than one queen."

"Ugh! That holey, buggy, ugly parasite-of-a-queen Chrysalis. To think that she had the gall to ruin my son's wedding." Velvet added, sounding unusually serious.

"She literally locked me in a crystal room and had me watch as she did all sorts of illicit things with my Shining Armor!" Cadance ranted.

"And she tried to pass the buck, making me seem like I was the evil one." Twilight hissed.

"Not to mention she inflicted harm unto my older sister." Luna also ranted.

"And though I'm not one for complaints but she also threatened my subjects, in front of me to start." Celestia stated as she received her food.

Something tells me that she wasn't exactly on the invite list for this morning's breakfast. "So... She's bad news?"

"Of course!" All five mares yelled out in unison.

Blueblood cleared his throat. "Well, to be fair, she did look rather attractive for one of her ilk."

Of course, he just had to be that guy.

Crescent simply facehoofed while I performed my own human variant. Practically every mare in attendance stared menacingly at the unicorn prince. Even his seven wives seemed ready to take up whatever silverware lied in front of them and shove it into various orifices of his body. Sure hope he's into sounding with forks and spoons.

The room stayed silent for a moment while Shining Armor turned to the side, cringing as he whispered to himself. "Awk-ward."

The breakfast with the royals left me feeling somewhat uncomfortable. It wasn't the fact that I was dining with the ponies in charge of running the country, as I felt completely fine with that. But when it came to eating a slice of ham around a vegetarian crowd, the atmosphere can get a little thorny. That was definitely the case when it came to the wives of Prince Blueblood. Most of them spoke under their breath, exchanging glances and insults at me for eating meat. After a few minutes, I decided to dine on the other side of the table on the far end of the room. Twilight went after me and tried to convince me to come back. I gracefully declined due to the others feeling uncomfortable and simply remained where I was.

My diet was something that I'd often kept silent about around other ponies. I've always been self-conscious of that.

Celestia soon came over to speak with me and took her seat directly beside me. Twilight sat on the other side as I tried to carry on with my meal. I managed to finish, but an odd sensation took me as I walked past the others, dismissing myself from the room. But before I could leave, Celestia summoned me to the end I originally sat at. She made a decree that if I was in Canterlot, I was to share my meals in her presence.

She also took notice of the mares and dismissed them permanently. Blueblood was not too pleased about that, but he accepted the decree out of respect. Cadance and Shining Armor went along to the infirmary ward to interrogate the changeling we caught on the train yesterday. And being that I had went through a lot just to get off of that train alive, I was going to get some answers. And despite Twilight's objections to take it easy, I tagged along with Shining in search of answers.

By the time we arrived, guards were changing out posts. The ones that were originally assigned to protect our main lead left out to lunch. Another two guards came by and set themselves in place. Meanwhile, the three of us went inside and saw the changeling bandaged up and cuffed to the bed. He gave us a smirk as we entered.

"So which one of you is going to give me my sponge bath today?"

Shining sat next to the creature and stared back with an icy demeanor. "You know, I could use you as a sponge to mop up the blood off of the counsel room floor. But that would defeat the purpose being that I'd be putting your blood on the floor instead."

The changeling seem undeterred by the stallion's comment. Cadance walked up to the other side and placed a tray at his side. "And a hello to you too. Perhaps you feel a little hungry?"

Apparently there were playing good cop/bad cop. It's obvious which one Cadance was going to play. The changeling smirked back at her. "And maybe you'd like to feed me? I could go for some homecooked loving right now. I also love the handcuffs. Very kinky."

Wow. I had to give this little guy props, he had balls. Shining Armor didn't like his comment too much, but he did manage to withhold himself from tossing the changeling out of the nearest window, to say the least. "That's my wife you're talking to, you ugly-"

"Shining. Mind your manners." Cadance said as she leaned in on the changeling. "So, here's how this is gonna go. You tell me what I want to hear, and I'll let you go."

I nearly dropped off the face of the planet when she said that. "Excuse me?"

"Let me finish." She responded, turning her attention back to the changeling. "And also, if you work with us, we might just decide to send you off to the Badlands without any complications."

"Badlands? Why would I go there?" The creature squawked.

Shining magically grabbed the changeling by the neck and pulled him in. "Because staying here would mean that I would have to kill you myself."

The changeling rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm starved, I lost a lot of blood, I'm nowhere near the hive, and I'm captured by Equestrian forces. To me it sounds like I'm well on my way out here."

He's got a point there.

"But it doesn't have to be this way." Cadance suggested as she reached over the bed and gave her husband's horn a light tap to knock out his magic. "I'm offering you a chance to work with us. And in exchange, I'll ensure that you go back to your hive fully mended and fed."

"Look, the only way I can eat is if I feed on love or meat. And I seriously doubt that you have any meat on hoof."

I chuckled a little bit at his statement. "Actually... they kinda do."

"Wait, what?" The changeling appeared to look at me with confusion.

"What can I say?" I pulled back my cheek and opened my mouth to reveal my teeth, complete with canines. "My species can actually eat meat. Though we prefer to roast it over an open fire." I let go of my cheek and proceeded to wipe my fingers off on my shirt. "But that does bring up a point, how does changeling meat taste?"

"From what I heard the dragons say, not very palatable." The changeling said.

"That's bullshit. All we need is a bit of salt, some pepper, a bit of garlic-"

"Nondis, we don't need to hear about your dietary preferences here." Shining said as he seemed a bit disturbed from the levels I manage to transcend to. I guess I overdid it. "We're trying to find out about why they attacked us yesterday."

"Yeah, I know. I just thought that maybe he'd like some motivation." I answered back.

"That's not how you interrogate, sweetheart." Cadance said while she leaned back down to his ear. "You see, motivation is like..."

I stared slack-jawed as she planted her hoof firmly against his muzzle, knocking his head back into the pillow. He cried out in pain, trying to reach for his nose. But the cuffs that bound him to the bed kept him locked in place. "OWW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?"

Cadance continued to wear her bright and cheery smile. "I thought you said you were hungry! I'd be more than willing to give you a bit of love."

Obviously, Cadance was not the one playing 'good cop' here. The changeling continued to express his discomfort. "That doesn't feel like love at all!"

"Well I call it tough love, the best love there is."

Shining nodded sagely in compliance. "And she's the princess of love. She knows all kinds of love."

I became curious and started asking questions to further add tension to the situation. "So does that mean she knows 'insane love?'"

"She does. She's gotten jealous of Twily at times too. Kinda scary."

"So does she practice BDSM?"

"Ball-and-cock torture is her favorite."

Cadance went back to the tray and pulled off a monkey wrench and waved it in front of the changeling's face. "Maybe he'd like a sample. I'd love it when they scream for me through my special little toy."

"What toy?" The creature asked worriedly.

"Oh... you know. My ball-gag for my husband. I was thinking about using it for our session tonight, but I guess he'll have to wait for his punishment."

Shining placed a hoof on his chin and thought aloud. "You know, I never tried cuckolding. That sounds pretty fun to me."

These two play entirely too well off of each other. The looks in their eyes, the grins they wore, the glances the made at each other, it was like they were one in the same. It was terrifying. And obviously, the changeling agreed with me. "Okay! I got orders from the Queen! She sent the contingent here to scope out some useful candidates for the feeding!"

Wow, he broke before she even got started.

Cadance looked back at Shining Armor, giving him a nod as she placed the monkey wrench on the tray she brought in earlier. Shining took over from there. "Go on."

"Look, we needed food. We can't keep feasting on pony rations all the time. Our bodies don't derive nutrients from oats and hay all that well. In fact, our Queen would often stay up at night, wondering how she would be able to feed her colony. And every one of those nights, we'd watch her cry and-"

"You know, I've heard enough sappy stories for one day." I stated as I bowed my head to Cadance. "No offense."

"Non-taken." She said nonchalantly.

Shining levitated the monkey wrench off of the tray. "Yeah, I'm with him. So hurry up and get to the point, please. We have a city to help rebuild."

The changeling nodded hurriedly. "Right! So when she sent out our orders, she gave us our plans and told us what each squad should do. And when we had finished with debriefing, we started to head out and train ourselves for the offensive."

"So I'm to assume that the offensive was actually a distraction?" Shining said as he waived the wrench slowly across his face.

"Yes! We were using it as a distraction to round up individuals that could prove useful to the Queen!"

I walked toward him, wearing nothing but a bitter scowl on my face. I yanked him by his scraggly horn and lifted him up to eye level. "And in the process, you eliminated several commanding officers from their posts. Not only did you knock out all means of transport, but you also decided to kill passengers on the train as well. If you ask me, there's a lot more in play here. I suggest that you tell me what your real objective is, or was considering that your guys got your collective asses whopped from here to Appleloosa."

"It was a distraction! Nothing more! I swear!"

I took a deep breath, pulled out my own tool and placed it firmly against his skull. "You remember this little thing, don't you?"

His eyes widened at the sight of the gun I used to kill his officer being held next to his head. It seemed that he understood what it's primary function was. "..." He remained in a panicked silence.

"I'm sure your boys would tell you what it does, but last I checked they're at the bottom of a ravine right now. Now if you don't want to join them, then I suggest that you speak up now... or forever hold your peace. Either way is fine with me."

"...I-"

I decided to turn up the heat a bit. I pressed the barrel even further against his skull, giving him the impression that I was anxious to kill him. "I think you may wanna speak up a bit. Unless you're scared."

"Meep..." He squeaked out as he tried to move his head out of the way. I continued to grab his horn, shoving him against the gun.

"Now you have until the count of three before I blow your brains all over this bed."

"I... I..."

"One. Tell me what your objective is! Tell me now before I kill you!"

The changeling started to wiggle and writhe out of his cuffs, but his efforts were in vain. "Do you wanna tell me what you're hiding!? Because I can certainly blow that shit all over this pillow. Oh, and in speaking of which..." I removed my hand from his horn, grabbing the pillow he was going to rest on. I shoved it over his face and held the gun directly on top of it, making sure that the shot would align with his head. "Here, I'll give you one last chance! You tell me what your objective was or I send your ass back in a tupperware container alongside a can of bug spray! You've got until I count down from five!"

The changeling squirmed and wiggled as he tried to scream through the pillow. "But... I was only following orders!"

I screamed at him as I held the pillow firmly against his face. "FIVE..."

"Please, I just did what I was told!"

I elevated my voice, this time making it sound as if I was itching to pull the trigger. "FOUR-THREE..."

"Wait! That's too fast!"

I smothered the pillow into his face, pushing the gun along with it. "TWO..."

"It was for the hive! I swear!"

This time, I pressed the barrel into the pillow just enough that he could feel it. I screamed as loudly as I could. "ONE! TIME'S UP-"

"OUR COMMANDER, HE SENT US HERE! IT WASN'T THE QUEEN! OUR COMMANDER WANTED REVENGE!"

Cadance, Shining, and I all stood silent for a moment, caught off-guard from the changeling's answer. I pulled the pillow away from his face and put the gun away. As I did, Shining looked at the weapon with curiosity running through his mind. I didn't pay him no mind as I continued to question the changeling. "Okay... Your commander wanted revenge for what?"

The changeling shook a bit as he stared at me, scared that I would send him out the same way I did with his other compatriots. "H-h-he wanted t-to get revenge f-f-for the... the um... the invasion from two years back!"

I kinda tilted my head from the response I received. Why would anyone want to go to such a grand scale for revenge? It's one thing for killing off some of our guys but it's another thing when you just go all out and target the higher-ups. Had it really been their queen that sent the order, it would mean war. Perhaps it was intentional? "Okay, so what was this so-called revenge plan?"

"He wanted to have revenge for the failure of taking the city. Two years ago, our queen hatched a plan to take over the entire realm so that we could repurpose it for food. See, what happened-"

Cadance cut him off, staring back at me. "Let's skip to the now, please. I'm well-aware of what the story is and how it ends."

The changeling looked back at Cadance with anger, almost in complete disbelief. "Do you really know how the story ended for us?" He hissed in a low tone.

"Yes." She stated. "Last I remember, Shining and I cast our spell and shot your queen and her army a fair distance away. My wedding, our special day was ruined because your queen decided to become my impostor and marry my husband."

The changeling lashed back at Cadance. "Sure, your ending was all happy and care-free."

Cadance reared her hoof back, readying to strike him with all of her might. "Care-free? Our honeymoon was cancelled because we had to help with rebuilding efforts. We had dozens of families we had to apologize to because of you! I had to comfort a mother who lost her foal because of rubble!"

"That's it!? We lost almost an entire army! Only a few dozen remained out of what was a force of over a thousand! You lose a few lives because of indirect consequence. We lose several hundred of our best because of you two!"

I decided to cut in. "I'm still trying to get an understanding on why you needed to target top military officials. Can you explain that before you two go back to arguing?"

The changeling scoffed at the princess, tooting his muzzle at her as he turned his attention to me. "You wanna know why? Because it just so happens that one of those high-ranking officials were responsible. If you want to know more, then you should ask that stallion right next to you."

I looked at Shining, who looked back at the changeling with rage. He also stepped in and began questioning. "So you didn't think to target me instead? Instead of going for just me, you decided to go for all of our top-brass?"

"The commander was more than willing to absolve you as long as we crippled your ranks. You were just a cherry on the top, an offering to our beloved queen."

Cadance didn't hold back as she magically yanked the changeling by his throat. "My husband..." She forcefully spat at him. "Will not be offered to that ugly whore! So you can tell that bitch to leave what's mine to me."

Wow. The pretty, pink Princess Cadance made a swear... I have never seen Cadance this angry. She seemed as if she was a tug away from removing his trachea while she shook with anger and leaned in on him. She started to bear her fangs at the changeling, but the creature remained undeterred. Instead, he fought through her grasp and shot back at her. "She's more mare than you'll ever hope to be."

Cadance's expression twisted as she slammed the changeling back onto the bed. She looked over to the tray and grabbed at the monkey wrench, hoping to knock his legs inside out, but Shining held her down and prevented her from going full-in. Cadance had a unsettling glimmer in her eye, almost as if she was ready to kill him on spot.

Correction, I don't think I've ever seen Cadance any more angry than she is at this very moment.

I decided to take my attention back to the matter at hand. "Let's get back on track. Your commander wanted to cripple our military so that you guys could come back in and make a second go for the city?"

The changeling coughed as he tried to speak. "Actually, *ahem* we already took over the city *cough* the first time, or we were pretty close. We wanted to make up for what should've been, and that was our victory over Equestria."

"And yet you still lost?" I summarized.

"Because of those two." He said as he scowled at the two royals staring back at him. "But Canterlot isn't the only place our commander had his eyes on. Shortly after, our Queen finished mourning for our fallen and found a village of smaller creatures, filled with just enough love to revitalize her strength. And shortly after, she tried to go for a consolation prize."

I started to become somewhat concerned for where he was going. What was this consolation prize? "And that would be?"

"She tried to take a small town south of here. It was a place where there was more than enough love to feed our entire colony. As long as we had that little town to farm our love from, we could replenish our numbers and strength quickly. We'd be able to challenge Celestia once more."

A small town south of here? He didn't mean... "And your commander wants to make a second attempt for that town?"

The changeling laughed weakly, still recovering from being choked by Cadance. "He's probably attacking it right now. Poor little ponies don't stand a chance without a decent system in place."

And of course... That means that our being trapped here in Canterlot would only slow our response. And killing off our chain of command would only slow us even more. The rebuilding efforts... no way... He was right. This whole thing was one gigantic distraction. His earlier reason being absolutely bogus, I had figured as much, but this was even worse. That's why they were all running away in droves yesterday. And by blowing the bridge from here to the mountain, we'd have an even slower ability to mobilize our defenses towards any town. Add in the rebuilding efforts along with search and rescue, then we'd be left with little manpower to counter their next attack.

They could be attacking Ponyville right now and we wouldn't even be able to do anything about it.

"Cadance, Shining, we gotta move!" I said as I walked towards the door.

The frustrated princess turned back to me. "What's wrong?"

"They're going for Ponyville."

Shining sighed in disbelief. "And the bridge is out, meaning we'd have no way to get out of this damn city."

The princess hurried behind me as Shining started to trail behind her. She placed a hoof on my shoulder to get my attention. "There's another way out. But it's pretty risky."

"You have some sort of emergency escape tunnel for when the city's going under?" I asked.

"Several. They all run under and through this mountain. I remember the way in, but getting to the base of the mountain, that's something else entirely."

"Why not use one of the chariots?" Shining asked.

"The chariots are being used to carry supplies and tools for the reconstruction effort. They're all rented out."

"Fuck." I shook my head in defeat. "So we'd literally have to hoof it from here?"

"Yeah. But I'm not the only one who knows how to navigate the caves. Twilight knows the caves better than I do, at least she still remembers the way out should we get lost." Cadance added.

Shining continued to keep a calm composure as he turned back over to look at the bed-ridden changeling. "So what do we do about him?"

"Oh, right." Cadance walked back over to him stopping short of his bed.

The changeling looked at the princess oddly. "What now?"

"Oh, I'm sorry sweetie. I just wanted to wish you well and make sure that you'd get plenty of rest." Shortly after finishing her statement, she cocked a hoof back and gave the creature a powerful blow to the muzzle, knocking him unconscious. After, she walked back to the door and took the lead. "Okay, let's go."

She's Umbridge-levels of scary. And this mare was going to be my sister-in-law. Currently processing that.

It didn't take us long to notify Princess Celestia and Princess Luna of what we had found out. The moment we told them, it seemed that their reaction was somewhat calm. I guess being around for a thousand, you'd get used to things like this. But at the same time there was an unsettling scowl on their faces. It didn't matter how long they lived, they would still protect their subjects for the sake of the future of Equestria.

They were rulers, they were taught to remain calm in times of great turmoil. But Twilight, being still relatively new to royalty, did not react so calmly. She immediately stormed out of the room and vehemently trotted down the hall.

Shortly after, we notified them of what we were going to do. They held no objections to our plan, giving us the green-light to do what was necessary to protect Ponyville. Shining, Cadance, and I all made our way down the hall. As we hurried along, Twilight came running to us, letting us know how angry she was that she couldn't request any guards to accompany us due to the security risk of a second attack on the city.

The changeling did tell us that they would attack the city another time if the opportunity came.

Finally calming down, she traveled with us, guiding us down the halls of the castle, into a storage closet. When she moved a mop out of the way, she pulled a large metallic ring that connected to a set of floorboards. When the way was opened, she was the first to walk down. I walked alongside her, or attempted to, trying to calm her. Instead, she was becoming even more impatient with our pace and decided to speed up the process.

Cadance and Shining ran after the young princess and collaborated on which was the quickest route down the mountain. Shining tried his best, but his knowledge of the caves only led to another way going towards the waterfalls down below. Cadance and Twilight thought about just flying there, but they quickly reconsidered that idea, stating that neither Shining nor I could fly. I offered to hop on one of their backs and hold on until we got there, but I weighted too much to make it a quick trip and Shining was not to fond of being magically held by his younger sister at a height where clouds were a normal occurrence.

Twilight and Shining both thought about teleporting all of us to Ponyville, but Cadance brought up the fact that Shining was still somewhat recovering from our duel. And any significant amount of magical stress could result in re-injury. And Twilight was not powerful enough to poof us all there at once. She'd have to do it several times, sending us several feet from one end to the other. And that would only mean that she'd nearly KO herself from performing the spell with so many bodies so many times. It would be much easier for her to do just herself. It would be a lot easier for everyone to do it on their own, but Cadance didn't exactly master the art of teleportation.

And I can't magic, so yeah there's that.

Finally, Twilight had an idea. She and Shining would march on ahead to look for any ways that would lead to the bottom of the mountain. And being that there was a lot of jumping and hurdling over large gaps full of sharp, pointy crystals, that left me to Cadance, who knew her way around the caves to get us to a safe point to await for a teleportation to the bottom.

The bottom of the mountain isn't nearly as much hard work as it is teleporting to Ponyville in one go. At least, Shining wouldn't have to endure so much stress. And Twilight could easily get it done in a matter of seconds. If Cadance had mastered teleportation, then she'd probably take Shining's place. I guess that just leaves me. I understand that I'm not a unicorn or an alicorn princess, so magic wouldn't be my strong suit. I don't fly, so that would be another thing to add to the list. I know that certain earth ponies, such as Pinkie, do have extrasensory perception. Not only that but their bodies were way more capable of jumping down from larger heights without wearing down. Leg strength is a primary advantage of earth ponies in general. They'd kick a tree and walk off like they just stepped on a twig. If I tried to kick a tree, I'd break a leg.