“Don, would you quit sulking already?”

How would you like if suddenly all of your evil plans fell through? Since the day I DIDN’T turn back into a human, my schedule has been completely filled by looking for a way to fix it and ignoring everyone as they tried to get me to enjoy being a pony. I didn’t even go to work since Applejack gave me time off ‘to adjust’, but why waste time adjusting to something that isn’t going to stay.

“Come on Don! Being a pony isn’t that bad.”

Twilight had run some tests and sent the results to Celestia. Her reply could be narrowed down to “I’ll work on it. Have fun!” Celestia is such a troll. I had talked to Gnarl and Zecora about it as well and neither knew of a way to fix it, only how it happened.

“You have to come out of there sometime you know?”

Apparently all the crazy plants and animals in the Everfree Forest is a result of the battle that happened centuries ago. During it my predecessor let loose a lot of magic that warped everything into what it is now. Since poison joke uses the same magic I do, it can feed off of me to keep the joke going despite Zecora’s remedy.

“Don! Open the door right now!”

I spent the next week going through every book looking for a way to fix it, also checking for the crystal tree because I’m still the Overlord, just a furrier, weaker version. I found nothing on either topic unfortunately so I settled for sealing myself in my room until-

“That’s it.” Until Twilight finally decided to rip the door off its hinges and drag me outside.

“Twilight, let go of me!” I paddled against her magic in a useless attempt at escape.

“I’m not going to let you sit around and sulk over such a small inconvenience. If anything you should be trying to enjoy this.”

Twilight headed out the door to the library with me in tow. From what I could tell she was heading to Sugarcube Corner. “This isn’t a small inconvenience. This is a huge pain in the ass! Being in this body just feels wrong.” It also removes any hope of me finding the nests. Fighting as a pony is impossible!

“That’s probably because you haven’t bothered to try. All you learned to do so far is walk.”

I pouted upside down. “Not true. I also learned what time of the month I have to stuff my nostrils to prevent your crazy hormones from getting to me!”

“I... suppose that counts, but there’s still so much you could learn. And you do know I could just cast a spell to prevent you from being affected, right?”

“Ya, well considering a bunch of you went nuts and thought some zebra was evil, I’d rather not use something under your control.”

Twilight sighed. “I guess that’s fair.” When we finally made it to Sugarcube Corner, Twilight put me down. I thought about making a break for it but since I still stumbled now and again on my hooves, I was pretty sure any chance of escape would be slim.

Maybe I’ll learn to fly just to avoid Twilight. I don’t want to be anywhere near her when the next heat cycle comes around.

As we entered the bakery we found Pinkie Pie was on the register for today. Ever since we found out I was stuck as a pony she has been much happier around me and I haven't figured out why.

“Hiya Twilight! Finally got Don outside huh?” I just groaned while Twilight ordered some food before it was my turn. I didn’t want to give Twilight the satisfaction of seeing me actually do something as a pony but I was pretty hungry so I got a bagel.

As we sat down and started eating, Twilight couldn’t help but continue to debate why I should adapt to my pony body. I managed to stay strong until we had both finished eating but damn that mare knows how to work my last nerve.

“Alright! I’ll learn how to fly or applebuck or something! Just please stop!” I let my chin hit the table as Twilight looked smug. She left to throw away our trash leaving me alone at the table. That lasted about two seconds before Pinkie Pie showed up.

“Aw come on Don! At least you can’t do anything bad while you’re like this.” Aha! That’s why she’s so happy. I made sure to check that Twilight was still gone before putting on my evil grin, which probably wasn’t as effective when done with a muzzle.

“That’s what you think.” That got rid of Pinkie’s smile quick. I rather have her think I’m still capable of something then for her to think I’m weak.

Pinkie looked like she had more to say but Twilight interrupted her. “So Don, what are you going to do today?”

“Pinkie and I were actually talking about it. I’m going to go see if Rainbow’s free and learn how to fly.” I almost laughed as Pinkie strained a smile for Twilight.

“Yep! I was just telling Don how busy she is with weather duty.”

Twilight looked confused. “But Pinkie, Rainbow usually is finished with her weather duty by now.”

I could see the sweat on Pinkie’s brow as she spat out words as quickly as possible. “Oh, is it that late already? I guess I lost track of time. I better go. Bye!” Pinkie dashed off leaving a pony shaped puff of dust behind her that dispersed quickly. It may be easy to mess with her but it is so much fun!

“Well that was odd, but I guess that’s Pinkie. Anyway Don, I think I saw Rainbow heading toward Sweet Apple Acres earlier. You want to go now?”

Let’s just get this over with. “Sure thing Twilight.”

* * *

The walk to Sweet Apple Acres was a quiet one at least on my part. Twilight continued going on and on about pony biology and what not. I found it to be somewhat of a blessing when as soon as we got there Applebloom found us.

“Hey Don! You stop being all moody?”

I tussled her mane a bit as I spoke. “Nope, Twilight just forced me to be moody in other places. Have you seen Rainbow?”

She didn’t speak until she had fixed her mane. “She was here awhile ago. I think she said she’d be back later.”

I sat on my rump. “Well than I guess I’ll wait. I have nothing better to do.”

“Applebloom! Where are ya?”

Applebloom groaned. “Oh boy. I’m outside Applejack!”

Applejack stepped outside of the farmhouse. “Well howdy Twilight, Don. You finally decide to come back to work?”

“I can come by tomorrow if you need me but today I’m here looking for Rainbow Dash and according to Bloom she’ll be back later.” As I spoke Applebloom started craning her neck like she was looking at something behind me.

“Well if you’re feeling up to it then you can come by tomorrow. I’m sure we can find something for-”

Applebloom suddenly jumped up. “You don’t have a cutie mark!”

“Applebloom, it ain’t polite to interrupt somepony.”

Applebloom looked at the ground looking sad but I could tell by her tone of voice she was more annoyed. “Sorry Applejack.”

Looks like everything is going along perfectly here. “Don’t worry Applejack. She’s just surprised is all. And she is right, I don’t have a cutie mark.”

“Don’t you want it? You’re older than I am and I can’t wait till I have mine.”

“I don’t think it will matter since I don’t plan on being a pony forever.” This seemed to sour Applebloom’s mood even more. “But I’d be willing to help you get yours if you want.”

And that perked her right back up. “Really? You think I could get it before Diamond Tiara’s cute-ceañera?”

“Umm… sure? I’m not sure what that has to do with a cutie mark though.”

Thankfully Twilight was there to explain. “A cute-ceañera is a party given to a filly when they get their cutie mark.”

So a cutie mark is a big deal. I bet those who don’t have one get ridiculed by those who do. I scooped Applebloom up and plopped her onto my back. “Then it looks like I’m not learning how to fly today. Instead I’m helping you find your cutie mark.” I turned and ran off toward the gate while Applejack yelled after us.

“Don’t you do anything stupid Applebloom!” I could hear Applebloom groaning despite the sounds my hooves were making. Once we were out of sight I slowed to a trot.

“So what do you want to try first?”

* * *

Applebloom hit the ground with a thud. “Oh it’s hopeless. We tried everything.”

I looked over the list of what we had done as I tried to think of something new. “This is going to be tougher than I thought.”

“Maybe I could hide my flank with a dress or something? Or maybe Twilight has some magic that can help? Or what about-”

“You know Bloom, you don’t have to go to this party if you don’t want to.”

I watched as Applebloom’s smile grew. “That’s a great idea! But what will I tell them if they ask what I was doing?”

“Just tell them you were helping me adjust to being a pony. The whole town knows about me so this Diamond Tiara should know what you’re talking about.”

“Ya, that could work. But what about my sister?”

“What about her?”

“Well, I dunno if you noticed but she’s been treating me even more like a baby than before. She’s going to be at the party so if I don’t show up she’ll know.”

“Then I’ll just tell her I lost track of time. Don’t worry about it Bloom.” She relaxed for the first time today. “Now then, do you know anywhere we can hide out until the party is over?”

She thought for a moment before jumping in the air. “Oh, there’s an old tree house in the apple orchard we can use.”

Oh ya. I remember that thing. It’s an absolute dump but it will do. “Sounds like that will work. Let’s go.” We got up and started walking down the road.

“So Don, was what you said about not wanting your cutie mark true?”

“Yes it was true. But it wasn’t my real reason for not wanting it.”

“Then what’s your reason?”

“Let’s just say I have a pretty good idea what it is and I don’t want that on my flanks.”

“You know what it is? What is it than? Maybe I have a cutie mark for the same thing!”

A filly getting a ‘I want to take over Equestria’ cutie mark. Surprisingly that’s not the strangest thing I’ve heard of. “That’s a big secret Bloom. I might tell you some other time if you promise not to tell anyone what my real reason for not wanting a cutie mark is. Can I trust you?”

Applebloom thought about it for a second before looking up with a childish grin. “I promise!”

* * *

We spent the rest of the day by that old treehouse. When the sun was about to set we headed back to the house where we ran into Applejack and Twilight.

“There you are! Where were you Applebloom? You shouldn’t be hidin’ just ‘cause you don’t have your cutie mark.”

I waved a hoof between the two of them to get her attention. “Actually Applejack, it’s my fault. I lost track of time while we were trying out various things to get Applebloom’s cutie mark. By the time I realized what time it was it was too late.”

My excuse seemed to calm Applejack down a bit but she was still mad. “Come on Applebloom. Almost time for bed and you’ve got school tomorrow.” The two of them headed into the house while Twilight walked over.

Well what do you know. I managed to do something productive in this damn pony form after all. Guess I don’t have an excuse to sit around anymore.

“So how was your day with Applebloom?”

“Good. I don’t think I’ll be spending anymore days locked in my room if that’s what you’re really wondering.”

“Well I’m glad. By the way, I ran into Rainbow Dash today. She said she could start teaching you how to fly tomorrow after you've both finished with work.”

“Awesome. Now if you don’t mind…” I yawned. “I think we should head home. Spending the day trying to find someone’s cutie mark is tiring.”

“Are you ever going to try and find yours?”

“Nope. I’m not much of a tattoo person anyway.” I started walking away with a grin while Twilight groaned.

“It’s not a tattoo!”

* * *

“It is good to see you back at it, Master. For awhile I thought we were going to be on an indefinite hold.” I sat awkwardly in my throne as Gnarl spoke. The chair was definitely not made for a pony.

“I have to admit I thought so too and we still are for the most part. I can’t go after the nests until I’m back to normal. I can’t train my swordplay or magic. I checked every book in the library for that crystal tree and found nothing. The only thing I can do at this point is to learn what I can and maybe find more servants.”

“Speaking of servants, are you sure about that griffon? She does seem capable but I doubt she will respect your rule as the minions do.”

“I never demanded respect from her, only that she follow my commands. I can assure you that her craving for revenge will outshine her pride if they ever conflict. As such, I wouldn’t suggest trying to order her around like a minion. I’d hate to return and find you’ve become a scratching post.”

“I will be careful Master. I wish to continue being of service to you and being mutilated will certainly ruin that. If you don’t mind however, I have another question.”

“Gnarl, I prefer that as my advisor you speak your mind. What you don’t say will more likely upset me than what you do.

“Of course, my apologies sire. I was wondering why you sound so sure that you will turn back to normal?”

“Because Celestia is working on a way to fix it, although I’m pretty sure she exaggerated how long it’s going to take because she wants me to find some reason to stay a pony. Either that or she knows of her student's little crush on me. Not like it matters. She said it should be ready sometime before that gala in the spring.”

“Ah, excellent. We will hole up for the winter and once the snow is gone we will begin in earnest!”

* * *

The next morning, work was… embarrassing to say the least. First I tried bucking apple trees and found I couldn’t get a single apple to fall. Then I tried to carry the buckets of apples but I still hadn’t figured out how to move my wings so they got in the way. Finally I just ended up pulling the cart between the house and the orchard while Applejack and Big Mac collected the apples.

It was now the middle of fall and it was rather cool outside so Rainbow and I met up at the park in town. As she started going over basic thing like preening the rest of the ponies showed up.

“Why are you all here? Don’t tell me you all just want to watch me crash?”

Rarity put on her usual show of shock. “Why Don, how could you think such a thing?” As she said this I watched Pinkie and Applejack placing bets behind her.

Pinkie probably bet I would hit the dirt, not that she wouldn’t get any pleasure from that. “Fine, I guess it doesn’t matter if you watch. Sorry Rainbow, you were saying?”

“I was saying that if you’re going to fly you need to fix your feathers. I’m guessing you haven’t preened them since you got them?”

“I can’t even get them to move, so no.”

“Wait, you can’t move your wings? Are they broken?” Suddenly Rainbow was very concerned and I think I could hear a few gasps from the peanut gallery.

“No, they aren’t broken as far as I can tell. I’ve just never had extra appendages before so my brain doesn’t really acknowledge they exist. At least that’s what I’m assuming. I haven’t been able to feel anything from them since I became a pony.”

“Really? So you can’t feel this?” She took a hoof a placed it on my closed wing.

“Nope. I can feel the wing pushing into my side but not the wing.”

She used her hoof to unfold the wing moving out of my field of vision. “You can’t feel this either?”

“I can’t see or feel what you are doing.”

“Alright, so what about…” Suddenly I felt a pinch somewhere not on my body. I flared my wing as I jumped around.

“Ouch! What the heck was that?” I saw that Rainbow was now holding a brown feather with the same red as my hair at the tip. One of my feathers. She spat it out before talking.

“That was one of your primary feathers you screwed up when you folded your wings wrong. They are also the most painful to pull out so remember that once we’re done fixing it. Seems that it did the job though.”

Wait, what? I turned to look at the wing. I reached out mentally to where I had felt the pinch and realized that it was the wing. I then tried thinking about moving it and it started to angle itself down. Holy shit! This is actually really cool!

I continued watching my wing go up and down slowly until Rainbow Dash cleared her throat. “You know you can do more with those wings than just watch them move right?

Oh ya. Flying. “Sorry about that. It’s just… imagine you had spent your whole life without a leg and then suddenly you had one. That’s what this is like right now. So how do we fly?”

“Ya, well remember when I said your primaries hurt the most to pull out? Well by the looks of it we got about 5 or 6 more of those to pull out and most of the others need to be worked on. After that we’ll need to fix your secondaries and from where I’m standing it looks like a lot of them will come out as well. You won’t be flying today.”

Damn it! I find the one thing really cool about being a pony and it bites me in the ass. I sighed. “Well then, let’s get started.”

After about an hour of feeling like a chicken being plucked I was deemed ready to go. Pinkie and Applejack had left a little after they heard I wasn’t going to fly. “The feathers will grow in overnight as long as your body works like a normal pegasus. Tomorrow we can start on learning how to glide.”

“Only glide? What about flying?”

“You’ll get there. I told you I’d get you flying in a week and I’m not about to let you down!”

“Alright, thanks Rainbow. Now if you don’t mind I’m just going to sit down for a while. My wings hurt like hell right now.”

“Trust me, I know. Even as a natural-born pegasus the first preening is never the easiest. Eventually you’ll learn how to not damage your wings doing everyday things. Oh, that reminds me, I need to show you how to fold them properly.”

I looked back to see that my tattered wings were still completely extended. “That might be a good idea.” Folding them correctly turned out to be a rather extensive process, but that might have just been my inexperience with them. Plus this way was much better as far as balance and size were concerned.

Once we were done Rainbow said her goodbyes and sped off while I walked up to the remaining three ponies. Rarity, as usual, was the first to gasp when they got a closer look the state of my wings. “Oh my, are you alright Don?”

“They hurt but it had to happen. Apparently spending a week or so not taking care of your wings is a painful thing to rectify.”

“Well if you’re done, perhaps you’d like to come by the boutique? We do need to make you a new suit for the gala.”

These damn ponies think I’m going to stay like this just because I can fly? Maybe next I’ll become a clown and entertain terminally ill children. “Why would I need a new suit? I’ll be human by then and I still have my old suit you made for my first visit with the princess.” The ponies seemed to be saddened by this but none let it show too much. Rarity on the other hand was still trying to get her hooves on me.

“But… since you are going to be a pony through the winter, don’t you think you should get some winter clothes?”

God damn it she won’t take a hint! “It’s cool. Apparently pegasi are rather resistant to the cold since they fly so much.” That stopped her. Oddly enough that seemed to brighten Twilight’s mood a bit. Rainbow better deliver on her promise. I don’t think I’ll be able to stand being around these unicorns in a few weeks.

I heard Fluttershy say something but I couldn’t hear it. “I’m sorry Fluttershy, did you say something?”

“Eep!” She hid behind her hair before peaking out again. “I was just… wondering... if you wanted... to meet some of my animal friends?”

Hmm… I could do this, but I’d be incredibly bored throughout it. Although it would lower the chances of me ever seeing that stare again. Plus I’d learn where to find some meat. I wonder if ponies can eat meat…

I realized that I had been staring off into space and it was starting to look strange. “Sure. Sounds like fun.” That got her out of hiding real quick and soured the mood of the other two mares. Forget a few weeks. I might not make it until the end of this week! I followed Fluttershy to her home which was apparently right next to the Everfree Forest. During the walk I made plans to run to Zecora’s if I ever had to escape crazy mares.

As we walked up to the place it seemed like animals were coming out of every crevice. At first I thought they were avoiding me but I brushed that off as a coincidence since they were flocking to Fluttershy at the moment. It wasn’t till we were inside that I was sure that something was up. There seemed to be a circle around me that animals wouldn’t dare cross. Not even the grizzly bear (yes, she has a grizzly bear in her house) would come near me.

“Oh my, they seem to be afraid of you.” She turned to the animals as she put on a motherly tone of voice. “Don’t you worry, Don’s a friend. He wouldn’t hurt any of you.” This calmed them down but didn’t shrink my sphere of influence. “I know. I’ll get some food and you can feed them. That will show that you aren’t going to harm them.” Before I could say anything she had flown into another part of her house.

Looking back at the animals I decided to just ignore it and take a seat on the couch. As I settled in a rabbit jumped up and stood in front of me, clearly showing courage the others lacked. Since these animals seemed to be partly sentient I figured I would attempt to talk to the little guy. “Well I’ll give you props for having the guts to approach me but it will take more than that to impress.”

The rabbit just hopped closer never breaking eye contact. It wasn’t until we were nearly touching noses that I saw something behind the rabbit’s eyes. Something that I had only seen twice before: From the previous Overlord and Gnarl.

“Oh, I get it. You’re an evil little bunny aren’t you?” Despite the lack of sarcasm I had put into it the rabbit wasn’t happy about what I had said.

“Alright, alright. You’re an evil rabbit. Happy?” The rabbit nodded. I can’t believe this. I’m talking to a rabbit, an evil rabbit.

“So what gives? Do you want a carrot or something?” He started pointing frantically at a pad of paper, quill, and ink bottle on the stand. I just shrugged and handed it to him. He then started drawing vigorously until he had made a picture of a pony with birds around it.

I put a hoof to my chin as I tried to decipher the picture. “Is it Fluttershy?” He nodded. “What do you want with her?”

He took the quill and drew an X right over the drawing. “You want her gone?” He shook his head and then pointed at me. “You want me to get rid of her?” He shook his head and then brought a paw across his throat. “You want me to kill her?” He nodded. “Why don’t you do it? You seem to be a pretty smart rabbit.”

He ripped the page out of the pad and started drawing tally marks on a clean sheet. When he was done there were seventeen. “Is this how many times you’ve tried?” He nodded. “Wow, that’s kind of sad dude.” He threw the quill down in anger and pouted. “Hey, no need to be like that. I’m sure you’ve done as much as you can considering your position.”

He picked up the picture of Fluttershy and tore it apart in fury. “Woah there little guy. I think I see your problem and lucky for you I know how to fix it.” He hugged my hoof and looked up at me with puppy dog eyes. “Ya, those don’t work on me anymore. I’ve been living in cute pony world for about 2 months now. Don’t worry though, I’m still going to help you.” He jumped for joy, which for a rabbit is pretty high.

“Alright, so just to make sure I’m reading this right, you’ve tried seventeen times and failed?” He nodded. “How long did you plan each of these attempts?” He counted out on his paw until he had five toes showing. “Five days?” He shook his head. “Less?” He nodded. “Hours?” He shook his head. “Minutes?” He nodded.

“Now there’s your problem. Allow me to let you in on a little secret.” I leaned down so I could whisper into the rabbit’s ear. “The best thing you can have when plotting something like murder is patience. You need to slowly prepare the perfect plan, letting it come together piece by piece. If done right no one will know it was you so not only do you succeed but you won’t have to hide for the rest of your life. Hell, I bet a smart rabbit like you could even push Fluttershy to commit suicide with enough time.” As I spoke the rabbit’s ears began to straighten more and more as he grinned about as maniacally as a rabbit is capable of.

Fluttershy walked back in carrying a tray of various foods as I sat back up. I felt the rabbit climb up my back and sit on my head. This surprised Fluttershy. “I’ve never seen Angel be so friendly with somepony before! He must really like you.”

Angel? Wow, that’s ironic. I tried not to snicker at the demon bunny’s name as I spoke. “I guess we just have something in common.”

Fluttershy grabbed a carrot off the tray with one of her wings- Wait a minute, they can use those as hands!? Screw flying, I need that! Anyway, she took the carrot and placed it on the couch next to me. “Here, you can feed him this while I feed the rest of the animals.” She went to do her work while the rabbit crawled down me and approached the carrot. He sniffed it before sticking his tongue out in disgust.

I double checked to make sure Fluttershy was busy before leaning over and whispering. “I never said the evil life was an easy one buddy, but trust me. It’s very satisfying.” He seemed to ponder my words for a moment before picking up the carrot and nibbling on it. After that he climbed back onto my head, carrot in tow, and continued to eat.

I bet no one has ever thought this before, and I doubt anyone will ever again, but I just made friends with an evil rabbit.

Author's Notes:

I know this chapter has a lot of scene changes but that's because everything here was things I wanted to happen that I couldn't get long enough to be a chapter on its own. The next chapter should be more focused.

Also, isn't a rabbit just the best animal for an evil overlord to have?