Ms. Sparkle and I spent the first minutes of our trip in silence as we trecked through the forest. Honestly though I didn’t mind. It gave me time to collect my thoughts and figure out just what was going on. So much had been thrown at me in a short time and there was sure to be more once we were out of the woods.

Alright, what was I told? According to Gnarl and those other… imps, they kind of look like imps, I was revived by the venom of a manticore, which if is anything like how Ms. Sparkle described it then I better hope I never meet one. They also said that I was their master and that my memory had been altered by someone named Faust. Of course that’s an easy excuse for the whole ‘have no idea what the fuck is going on’ theme my life has taken.

Now, what for sure do I know? I know that so far despite being a bit of a bitch Ms. Sparkle has been rather kind to me. I know that back on Earth, or at least I don’t think this is Earth, humans can’t be revived, especially with venom. I know that I woke up in a tomb covered in cobwebs and dust, which makes little sense considering it would have taken at least a century to build up that much and I’m only… Dammit! Can’t even remember my own age!

Well let’s see, if I had to guess I was around six feet tall. I seem to be growing a bit of facial hair and despite having all memories of my life removed, I still seem to have a decent knowledge of Earth. Overall if I had to guess I’m in my early twenties, so let’s just go with twenty two for now.

Back to what I know. I know that Gnarl gave me this weird gauntlet with what seemed to be magic and that Ms. Sparkle seems to have telekinesis.

“Hey Don.”

Despite all this evidence, I’m still not a hundred percent convinced that magic is real.

“Don?”

After all, people on Earth had made some rather impressive-

“Don!”

Ms. Sparkle’s words finally broke my concentration, however it didn’t stop me from tripping on a rock and falling flat on my face.

“Oh my gosh! Are you alright?”

I turned my face up so I could see her while I enjoyed the taste of grass. “Ya, I’m fine. I was just deep in thought.” As I moved to stand back up, my vision went purple once again only this time my landing was rather softly on my feet.

“Thank you Ms. Sparkle.” Ms. Sparkle absolutely beamed at my apology despite how lacking I had made it sound.

“It’s the least I can do after being so rude when I first met you. And please just call me Twilight.” She turned around and began to walk as she continued. “I was just under some stress. You see, my mentor, Princess Celestia, sent me to investigate the fluctuations of magic in the Everfree Forest and this was my first real assignment after she told me to study the magic of friendship so I was really worried that if I failed she would send me back to magic kindergarten!”

As she spoke, her words picked up speed and a few hairs curled out of her… mane? That’s what a horse has on their head right?

If I don’t stop her now she might go full on crazy. Or worse!

I quickly grabbed Twilight by her horn and turned her so we were face to face. “Calm down Twilight. I don’t know who this Princess of yours is but I’m sure if she sent you here she must have had a good reason.” This seemed to calm her down somewhat so I let go. She still had a worried look on her face though.

“B-but I never recorded the cross waves of the site, or discovered why the magical amplitude was causing such a disturbance, or what about-”

“Twilight! I have no idea what any of that is. I don’t know what world this is, but where I’m from magic isn’t a real thing. It’s only gags used at parties for entertainment.”

She gasped (and rather loudly at that). “What?!? How could anyone live in a world without magic? How do you travel far distances or send messages or do anything?”

Despite borderline insulting the human race, I answered her calmly. “We make up for it with technology. We build machines to help us do things we ourselves are unable to.”

A quill and piece of paper materialized in the air and Twilight got about as close as anyone could get to my face without touching me. Her eyes were also wide open and she had the biggest grin I’d ever seen. “Do you think you could explain to me how to create these machines?”

GRRR… ANNOYING CREATURE...

Can’t argue with that.

“No I can’t. I was never an expert on any machines. I know what they are and what they are expected to do, but as far as how they work you’re out of luck. Besides, by the sounds of things you guys don’t have much in the way of technology so you’d have to make the tools to make the tools to make the tools to make anything we had.” Twilight deflated a bit as her plans to industrialize the world were destroyed. The quill and paper disappeared just as quickly as they had arrived and we began down the dirt path once more.

It wasn’t long before Twilight started speaking again. “So what makes you think you’re on another world?”

“The fact I’m talking to a unicorn. Back where I’m from unicorns only exist in mythology. They also aren’t purple and have tattoos on their butt.”

“They aren’t tattoos. Those are my cutie mark.”

Really? Cutie mark? If things continue like this I might just throw up from all of the adorableness.

“Alright, whatever you want to call them.” We walked on for a few seconds.

“Don’t you want to know what a cutie mark is?”

“Not really.” A few more seconds of blissful silence.

“A cutie mark is something everypony gets during adolescence. It’s a mark of what the pony is truly good at and gives the pony their purpose in life.”

Even though I could care less what magical butt tattoos mean, it did bring up something interesting. “And ponies are just fine with having their destinies predetermined like that?”

“Well ya, why wouldn’t they?”

Now a part of me wanted to start a debate with her, but I realized no matter what I could have said I doubt I would have come out on top against this crazy pony. Instead I settled for saying: “I don’t know.”

As we continued to walk a town began to make peek itself out of the hill in front of us. From what I could tell it was a medieval-style town although a few strange things stuck out including a carousel, a bright red schoolhouse, what seemed to be a large hospital, and a train station. Glancing up I could see a castle sitting on the edge of a mountain.

If they don’t have technology, why do they have a train station? We didn’t have proper railways until around two hundred years ago. Plus, how the hell is that castle not sliding down the mountain?

“Welcome to Ponyville Don!”

Nope, I’m done. Fuck magical cute pony land.

Despite my disgust with how ridiculous everything was, I managed to put on a fake smile. “It looks like a lovely little town.”

Now it should be noted that I’m a terrible liar so the fact that Twilight bought it was either amazing luck (which considering where I was I highly doubted), or that Twilight was all book smarts.

More likely the latter. I better be careful in town. Most likely the other ponies aren’t as stupid.

And just a bit of a spoiler, I was wrong.

* * *

From where we were on the hill we had about twenty minutes of walking before we made it to the town. As we walked, Twilight told me about her friends who lived there but I was only half listening. All I really got from the one-sided conversation was that her friends were the most random assortment of personalities you had ever seen come together. She also said something about how they had all met due to the world nearly being taken over by some crazy chick who really liked nighttime.

Just another thing to add to my list of ‘What the fuck?’

As we neared the town I was shaken out my deep thoughts by something blocking the road.

Are those cows?

Turns out it was. A whole herd of them were in the process of heading somewhere and had decided that crossing the path here was best.

“Damn cows.” Twilight looked shocked by what I had said and I was about to ask why when suddenly one of the cows broke off and started insulting me.

“Well excuuuuuuse me monkey-boy, but you’re just going to have to wait for us to get by. Don’t be so impatient!”

THIS LESSER BEAST DARES TO SPEAK TO ME IN SUCH A WAY? I WILL TURN HER FAMILY INTO BEEF AND FORCE HER TO EAT IT!

Normally I would have been fighting off the urge to make that threat a reality but at the moment I was just too shocked by the fact the cow had spoken to even notice the darker voice.

“Ah- Wha- Bu- You can talk?!?”

This made the cow scowl even more. “Well of course I can talk. You think I’m some sort of an idiot?”

Way to go Don! That’s two species you’ve insulted so far.

Thankfully Twilight was there to save me before I could put together another incoherent string of words. “Sorry about that miss. My friend isn’t from around here and doesn’t know how to be polite.”

The cow continued to look at me with disdain but at least she didn’t look like she was ready to run me over. “Well alright. But you better watch him until he learns better. I’m much more forgiving than some people.”

“Yes! Of course. We’ll be careful.” As the cow walked away to continue with the flow of cows, Twilight turned and glared at me. “What was that about?”

Probably not the best idea to tell her about how animals are all dumb as dirt where I’m from.

“Uh, well I’m not sure.” Of course that excuse wasn’t enough for Twilight. Thankfully she was interrupted by an orange pony with a cowboy hat.

“Well howdy there Twilight! How did that job of yours go?”

And she has a southern twang in her voice. Oh the stereotypes!

Then she took a look at me. “What the heck is this thang?”

I WILL TIE EACH OF HER LIMBS TO A COW AND HAVE THEM ALL CHARGE IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS UNTIL SHE IS NAUGHT BUT A TORSO AND HEAD!

That’s an image I did not need.

As I struggled with… whatever this thing was Twilight was happy to speak for me. “I found him at the site Princess Celestia sent me to check. He needed help so I decided I would bring him back to Ponyville.”

“Neat. Does the critter speak?”

By now the voice had had been dulled to a low rumbling so I spoke up. “Yes I can talk.”

“Whoops. Sorry about that big guy. Ain’t never seen anything like you before. The name’s Applejack. Pleasure to meet ya.” She held a hoof out in a manner that I assumed meant she wanted me to shake it. After a moment of thought I kneeled down and grasped her hoof with my left hand.

Although she couldn’t actually grip my hand, she made up for it by putting a good amount of force behind her handshake. “I’m Don. Nice to meet you too.”

“Nice horseshoe you got on. Feels tough but not hard like steel you know? What’s it made of?”

Horseshoe? What is she talking about?

“You mean my glove?” I held my hand up to make sure she knew what I was talking about.

“Ya, that thing. Wasn’t sure what else I could call it.”

“It’s fine. Not like you guys have hands anyway. As for what it’s made of…”

‘You cannot tell the ponies anything about us’

“... I’m not sure. I have a bit of a memory issue at the moment.”

Technically neither statement is a lie.

Thankfully the two ponies bought it. “You can’t remember? That there is strange. Hopefully Twi here can help you get your memories back. Anyway, looks like I gotta catch up with the cows. See ya later!”

As Applejack ran off, Twilight was looking rather confused. “What do you mean you have memory issues? You just told me all these things about where you’re from.”

“Ya, I can remember general information but as far as things about myself I have no clue. The only thing I could remember was my name.”

“Strange… perhaps I could send a message to the princess. She might be able to help.”

“If you’re going to ask royalty for help you might as well just send your message to the king or queen.”

“Equestria doesn’t have a king or queen. Just two princesses.”

“Two princesses? Why hasn’t one of them taken the title of queen?”

Twilight opened her mouth to speak but then stopped and pondered my question. “I’m not sure actually. I never really questioned it.”

Of course you didn’t.

* * *

Soon Twilight and I had entered the town. As we walked down the street any ponies that caught a glimpse of me would do one of three things: run, hide, or both. This was rather confusing on my part since Applejack didn’t seem afraid of me.

Maybe having Twilight with me isn’t so bad after all.

Despite how unwelcome the townies were I was glad to be in civilization again. Especially for my poor feet that had spent the entire trip here uncovered.

Hope there’s a tailor or something in town.

Twilight on the other hand seemed rather shocked at the town’s reaction to me. “Why are they running? You’re not scary. Plus the fact I’m with you should have made it easier.”

I shrugged in response. I honestly wasn’t worried about what the town thought. Since as far as I could tell I was going to be here for awhile, I figured they would just have to get used to me.

At least that’s what I thought until a rainbow blur slammed into my chest and sent me a good twenty yards. When I could finally see straight again I was lying on my back. As I moved to stand up the rainbow blur returned, diving straight at the ground toward me.

Move!

I rolled to the side as the blur slammed into the ground where I once was. Soon I was back on my feet and I saw that my attacker was actually a pony.

Some have wings? And what is up with that rainbow hair?

IT DOESN’T MATTER. IF SHE CHOOSES TO FIGHT ME THEN SHE CHOOSES DEATH!

The pony seemed rather confused by my epic dodge. This didn’t seem to discourage her though as a smirk appeared on her face. “I thought this was gonna be easy, but I’m glad you’re putting up at least a bit of a challenge.”

She’s brash. Most likely she will charge straight at me. When she does, step to the side and break her wing.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Twilight yelling at the pony but I couldn’t hear her over the sound of blood pumping in my ears. Strangely enough combat felt… right. The feeling of adrenaline, the slight pain I felt from the initial blow, my breath as I calmed my nerves. All of it had a rhythm to it that I could see, that I could feel.

Just as I… no, just as the other voice predicted, the pegasus charged at me. And just as it had said, I stepped to the side and brought my arm up to strike. Just as we were about to clash I felt the all-too-familiar feeling of being held in Twilight’s purple energy. This time however I wasn’t alone as my opponent had been caught as well.

“Would both of you stop it? Neither of you should be fighting.”

The pegasus spoke up, clearly angry about being interrupted. “What are you talking about Twilight? This thing was scaring all the ponies in town!”

I rolled my eyes at her excuse. “Oh please! The ponies in this town are so skittish I bet a rabbit could scare them.”

“Don! You’re not helping!” Using my peripheral vision I could see Twilight’s hair beginning to uncurl.

I better shut up before the crazy unicorn crushes me.

My brash friend however wasn’t so smart. “Twilight, just look at him! He’s looks freakier than Nightmare Moon.”

I don’t know if that’s really an insult considering a demon horse could look pretty badass.

Twilight facehoofed as she continued. “I’m not going to argue about this. He has been nothing but polite to me since I found him. Sure he looks different, but that doesn’t automatically make him evil.”

If only you knew…

Wait, what?

Suddenly I was free to move again, but the pegasus was not so lucky. For a moment I thought I was in the clear, but a quick look at Twilight proved me wrong.

“Go ahead Don. Show her you mean no harm.” The way she said that I knew one step out of line and… well I actually had no idea what she intended but considering what I’ve seen her do so far, I didn’t want to figure it out.

I turned back to the pegasus as she glared daggers at me.

Alright, easy enough. Just introduce yourself and act nice. That shouldn’t be hard.

HERE IS MY CHANCE! I WILL RIP HER APART!

I kneeled down in front of her so that we were at eye level, although it was more because the inside my head felt like a warzone.

SNAP HER NECK!

I rose a hand up hoping for another handshake but quickly realized it wouldn’t be a good idea to wrap my hand around any part of her body so instead clenched it into a fist.

BEAT HER BLOODY!

I took a deep breath and said “We got off on the wrong foot, er I mean hoof.”

A HOOF I’D GLADLY TEAR OFF!

“You were crazy fast there and that was pretty awesome in my book.”

RIP HER FEATHERS OUT ONE BY ONE!

“I think… we could be… friends… if you’re willing.”

TURN THAT RAINBOW MANE OF HER’S RED!

“My name… is Don… What’s yours?

Now you can imagine with the way I seemed to be struggling that the pegasus would think something is wrong. However the gullibility of these ponies continued to amaze me.

With my apology made, the purple aura disappeared. For a moment the only thing that spoke was the horrible voice in my head as it continued to ramble about torture methods. Finally, the pony picked up a hoof and hit it against my hand in some cross-species form of a fist bump.

“Rainbow Dash. And if you thought that was awesome you ain’t seen nothing yet!” I couldn’t help but smile a bit despite the pressure I felt on my mind. Before I could say another word, my vision went red as the sound of the dark voice filled my ears. My body clenched up and I felt myself hit the dirt.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! I AM THE OVERLORD!!! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!!!

My vision then went black, and I heard nothing more.

Author's Notes:

Less Overlord stuff in this chapter, but the next one will start giving some of the backstory.

Comments are always open for critique!