I get that this is important, but why does Gnarl have to present it in such a boring fashion. Months later I was sitting in my still-awkward-for-a-pony throne as Gnarl went over the history of the Overlord. Thing is, there has only been two overlords so far. As such Gnarl decided that I might as well learn every detail of my predecessor’s rise to power.

“...and it was here in the Firewater Swamps that your predecessor found the first-”

“Don! Don! Wake up!”

What? Twilight?

“Master, are you paying at-”

“Don! Hurry! It’s Winter Wrap Up Day!” My eyes shot open to see Twilight standing over me with a grin that just screamed rape. I’ll take a lesson on the history of evil over crazy pony sex. I tried to ignore her and get back to the fortress but Twilight wasn’t having any of it.

“Don, get up! I’m not letting you sleep in on one of the best days of the year.” I felt the bed fall away beneath me only to be replaced by hard wood a few seconds later. Fucking unicorns and their telekinesis.

I grumbled as I stood on my hooves. “What’s the big deal Twilight? It’s just a day for changing the season. I still don’t get how that works by the way.”

“What about it is confusing? The seasons aren’t going to change themselves.”

“Well, let’s say hypothetically that I came from an alternate dimension in which the seasons do change on their own. Explain to me how one ‘wraps up winter’.” I followed her out into the main room of the library. A quick glance up confirmed that Spike wasn’t enjoying the morning either. Twilight started putting on boots, a saddle, and a scarf in her own dorky way as she spoke.

“Well, we need to clear the sky of clouds so that the sun can warm things up. There’s also waking up animals from hibernation, clearing the snow, helping the birds migrate back home. There’s just so much to do it would be impossible for it all to just happen on its own.”

Best not argue with Twilight logic. “Alright, I get it. Does the transition to spring at least allow a cup of coffee?” By this point Twilight had finished getting dressed and with a flash of her horn a coffee mug floated before me. I used one of my wings to grab it and knocked back a few swigs before looking back at Twilight.

“Now come on Don! We need to get their bright and early.” As she said this she opened the door to show it was still about an hour before sunrise and the festivities didn’t start for an hour or two after that. “We may be a little too early.”

I glanced back up at Spike before heading toward the kitchen. “I’m awake now, and since Spike obviously isn’t moving I guess I’ll make breakfast.”

* * *

Twilight, Spike, and I left the tree at the correct time and headed toward town hall. The entire time Twilight spent it talking about how there are different teams and whatnot while always trying to walk closer to me. Eventually I had no choice but to practically walk shoulder to shoulder with the mare. Once we were there Mayor Mare announced how things work and then everypony started singing.

Not joking…

I’m serious…

Like a full out musical number with choreography and everything…

Seems whatever had gotten into everyone hadn’t affected me for some reason. Thank Faust! What was even stranger was that right after everyone just went about what they were doing as if nothing had happened.

Anyway, ignore the spontaneous pony choir for now.

Twilight, despite being one of the smartest ponies I now, decided that she should try asking Rainbow Dash if she could help with the weather team. A team comprised solely of pegasi. Awkward moment aside, when Rainbow saw me she perked up.

“Hey Don, Twilight here can’t help with the weather team but you can. How 'bout it?”

I shrugged. “Sure, I’ll try it. I have no idea how to clear up clouds though. All I’ve used them for so far is napping.”

“They do make great beds. I can show you how to get rid of them though, come on!” She zoomed up and landed on a cloud above.

“See ya Twilight!” I pushed off the ground before she could respond and within seconds I was up on the cloud with Rainbow.

“Alright Don, first let’s see what you can do. Hit that cloud over there as hard as you can.” She waved her hoof at a cloud the size of three ponies put together. I made my way leisurely over to it before turning and trying an applebuck mid-air style. I hit the cloud but my hooves just went through it. In the end all I had to show for my work was a ten yard drop I had taken.

Judging by Rainbow’s face my performance was even worse than I thought. “That was… good. Here let me show you how to do it.” She flew over to the cloud in one swift move bucked it, reducing it to nothing. I just continued to look dumbfounded.

“Here, I’ll help you this time.” She grabbed one of my hooves (still not sure how they do that) and dragged be over to another cloud. Before I could say anything she started positioning my body in a pre-buck position.

“You want to keep your back arched,” Damn it, she's touching me again! “your stomach loose,” Getting a little close there Dash. “Your wings unfurled,” Oh come on, you taught me those were erogenous areas! “And finally you need to keep your flanks firm.”

At that point I had enough. I quickly turned around and spat out words before she could put her hooves on me again. “Well this seems rather complicated and I don’t want to slow down your work so I’m just going to see what Twilight is doing. Sound good? Awesome. See ya!” And I zoomed off. Took me about a minute to find Twilight with Rarity.

“Hey Don. What happened to helping with the weather team?”

I shuddered a bit as I was reminded of what had just happened. “I don’t think I’m right for the weather team. What’s going on here?”

Rarity was the one to explain. “We are making nests for the birds. They need good homes for when the weather team brings them back.”

“Wait, the weather team gets the birds? Why doesn’t the animal team deal with that?” Rarity and Twilight looked at each other before turning back with a look of confusion. Ponies, the one creature in existence where making less sense seems to make more.

“Perhaps you would like to try making one Don? I’m sure you could make a fabulous home for the birds.”

“Sure, thankfully being able to use wings as hands shouldn’t make it too hard.” I walked up to the table and started working. After about fifteen minutes Twilight and I had both finished our nests.

“Very good Don. Twilight though… not so much. Here let me help you.” She walked around the table to stand in front of the nest. As she did so she positioned her flank so that it was plain for me to see. She even seemed to wiggle it a bit as she worked to fix Twilight’s nest.

Is this what my day is going to be like? Looking away I could see Twilight sneaking off and decided it would be best to follow suit.

“Was my nest really that bad?” Spike and I looked at each other as we both tried to find an answer to that loaded question. It ended up being me who had to answer though I was more afraid of whatever magical fallout was to befall me than hurting her feelings.

“Well, it was a bird nest, that much I could tell.” That didn’t seem to satisfy her though and she was going to ask again. Instead we were interrupted by the voice of a pony I never thought I would be glad to hear.

“Wooooooo! Hiya Twilight. You here to ice skate?” Pinkie Pie was skating across a lake of ice doing maneuvers I didn’t even think would be possible for a pony. Twilight seemed to agree.

“Wow Pinkie, you’re a really good ice skater.”

“Thanks Twilight! I’ve been doing this since I was an itty bitty, little wittle, Twinkie Pinkie. Just comes natural. You and Don want to help me cut the lake for the weather team?”

“Would I!” Twilight practically bounced toward the extra pairs of skates while I remained ever skeptical. After all, this is Pinkie we are talking about. Nevertheless I put on the skates and got out on the ice while Twilight was having troubles of her own. I found out fast that ice skating is hard, especially for equines.

I was slowly stumbling across the ice when I finally found my balance. Unfortunately I came to a stop right in front of a smug looking Pinkie. Despite every fiber of my being telling me not to, I asked. “What did you do?”

She pointed down at the ice to show that I was standing at an eight way intersection with a circle around me all cut by Pinkie’s skates. As I tried to get clear I ended up setting off the trap, causing the ice below me to break and for me to fall through into the absolute zero water.

Once I had abandoned the skates to the icy depths and flown out I was met with a snow totem pole that turned out to be Twilight, Pinkie, and Spike all stacked on top of each other. After the two ponies had a little heart to heart, which I ignored in favor of warming myself up, we headed off to find another job.

The next pony we ran into happened to be Fluttershy ringing a bell. As we approached a couple of squirrels climbed out of a hole in the hill. They took a moment to stretch before they noticed me and ran as fast as possible.

“Looks like the animals haven’t changed over the winter.”

“Oh, I bet they’re just shy. Are you and Twilight here to help?”

“I guess, though I don’t think I can help here.”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine. Here, You and Twilight both get a bell. Just ring it by the homes to wake them up.” I grabbed one of the bells with my wings while Twilight grabbed the other in her teeth. The animal reacted just about how I expected. Wakes up, sticks head out, runs for the hills.

I couldn't care less about the animals but I was willing to find any excuse to get away and hide till spring came. “Fluttershy, I really don’t think this is a good idea for me to keep doing this.”

“Oh, um, maybe you should try again?”

“No, I think I should just-”

“How about you help with the ones who don’t want to leave their holes?” As she said this she got right up in my face rather un-Fluttershy-like.

Jeez, what is with everyone today. First Dash, then Rarity, and now Flutters? It was around this time that some deity decided to grant me a boon in the form of Twilight dropping a beehive on her head and then running into a pit of skunks.

I was sure Twilight was fine but I was still looking for that excuse. “Oh no, I better go check on her and make sure she isn’t hurt. See ya!” I ran after her with a wing blocking my nose, leaving Fluttershy to keep the skunks from freaking out and spraying stink everywhere.

* * *

Back in the library Twilight was getting a bath in tomato paste and bee sting ointment from Spike. I stood on the opposite side of the room so I didn’t have to smell her, although this did give me an idea for the next time she's in heat.

“I still don’t get why you don’t use magic.”

“Ponyville has never needed magic to wrap up winter before and they don't need it now.”

“But I thought pegasi and earth ponies all use magic in their own way as well?"

"I meant unicorn magic. Like I told you, Ponyville was found by earth ponies so it's tradition to not use spells."

"I guess there is no arguing with tradition, especially with ponies like Applejack around.”

“Speaking of Applejack, after I’ve cleaned up we’re going there next to see if we can help plow the snow.”

“No offense, but you’re not really that strong. Plus that just sounds like what I normally do when I’m working for her.”

Twilight jumped up a bit, splashing tomato paste on Spike. “Come on Don! Everypony needs to do their part.”

“Every ’pony’ needs to. I’m not a pony technically.” How blunt I was seemed to hit her hard.

“Don, even if you aren’t a natural pony, you still are one to me and the girls.”

Yes, I am very aware how much you all like my pony form. “Doesn’t mean I’m not one Twilight. I’m supposed to be human and as soon as the princess figures out how to change me back, that’s what I’ll be.”

“Are you sure? I mean, have you really thought about it? You wouldn’t be able to fly, your human body can’t handle the amount of sugar you’ve been eating-”

“And you would lose your chance with me?”

She seemed genuinely surprised by this. “What, Don I’m not-”

I got up and headed for the door. “I don’t want to hear it Twilight. You and most of the others have made it blatantly obvious what you think of my pony body.” I opened the door as I said. “I’m going flying for a bit.”

“Wait, Don! This isn’t-” I closed the door, cutting her off. A lot of people would think I’m being harsh but you haven’t lived with four ponies constantly trying to get with you. I was lucky that Applejack hadn’t been harassing me at work, and Pinkie still hated me. Plus I still got stares from some of the other mares in town when they all went into heat.

I felt my stomach start to ache as if someone was twisting it. I guess I didn’t cook my eggs right this morning. I ignored the pain and took to the sky, making sure to avoid the weather team as they worked.

God damn mares. I can’t believe they are so blatantly stupid. Tell them to back off and they get closer. Tell them to not bother me and they insist on keeping me company. It’s a good thing I’m planning on leaving to find the nests or I might start contemplating suicide.

Can’t wait until I see their faces when I tell them. It will be so priceless. Rarity might actually faint instead of faking it. Oh, they will try to convince me not to leave but my ‘wanderlust’ will just be too strong. Good thing I’ve already discussed it with Celestia. Until I get those nests I can’t face her.

I glanced around looking for somewhere to go. Let’s see, Twilight is eventually going by Applejack’s so I can’t hang out there. Rainbow will find me anywhere amongst the clouds. Rarity and Fluttershy will be around the forests. Unfortunately that really only leaves one place to hide out.

I touched down and began clearing a small space in the snow to lie down. As I was doing this my worst nightmare bounced her way over to me.

“What are you doing here?” I looked up from my work to see Pinkie had dropped her normal happy routine and her tail was twitching violently as it usually did. Once I made sure we were alone I spoke.

“Your friends all are desperate to get laid so I’m avoiding them. This was the only place I could think they wouldn’t show up for awhile and you are surprisingly less annoying than them.”

I sat down in the spot I made on the grass as Pinkie continued giving me the stink eye. “What do you mean by ‘laid’?

“Really? That slang doesn’t exist here? Weird, but I guess this entire place seems like a kids show. Anyway, laid means sex.” Once she put the two together it seemed to dawn on her what I was saying.

“My friends don’t like you like that!”

“Poor naive Pinkie. Don’t worry though, I have time and it’s not like any of the ponies believe what you say about me anyway. I might as well explain this to you. Where to start?” I made a show of putting a hoof to my chin before beginning.

“First let’s start with Rarity. The mare has been trying to get me to come in to her boutique so she can make me pony clothes when they aren’t even necessary so she must just want to get her hooves on me. On top of that she hasn’t stopped talking about the whole diamond dog incident and she still claims I ‘valiantly sacrificed myself’ or whatever bullshit is spewing from her mouth.

“Second there’s Rainbow. Though I am glad she taught me to fly, ever since she has been trying to get me to stunt fly more with her to a point where I can actually predict when and where she is going to ask me. Whenever we do go fly around she always uses it as an excuse to put her hooves on me and I’m not going to be felt up like that.

“Third is Fluttershy. I went to her home and found that almost all animals are afraid of me. I figure it’s because of what you already know about me. Whatever the case Fluttershy has been very un-shy about her wishes for her animals and I to become friends. I’ve never seen her so forceful about anything except when I was hurt the day I got here.

“And finally, Twilight. Ever since I became a pony she has insisted on coming with me everywhere. I’ve literally had to sneak out of the library to get any alone time or to hang out with Spike. Not only that, but I’ve found pages upon pages of things about me she has observed. It’s incredibly creepy and I almost burned them on the spot but then I remembered the whole living in a tree thing.”

Things were quiet for a few moments while Pinkie seemed to absorb what I had said. Despite looking relaxed I made sure to be ready with a taser hoof in case she-Wait, is she snickering?

She seemed to be trying to hold back laughter and even went so far as to puff her cheeks out but it was hopeless as she fell on the floor in hysteria. This made me mad, and why wouldn’t I be? I just explained the hell I had been in for the past few months and she goes and starts laughing about it! I didn’t even think Pinkie could be that cruel.

“It’s not funny!” She continued to laugh. “Cut it out!” That seemed to get her attention but she was still giggling when she got up.

“For as evil as you are you aren’t very bright Don.” Okay, now she’s just trying to piss me off. “My friends weren’t hitting on you.”

“What!? Explain!”

“Alright!” She started to bounce around me happily as she spoke. “Rarity told me that you could be a famous model being the pony you are. As such, she has been trying to get you to come in so she can try some clothes on you. She also talks about the diamond dog thing because what you did was really brave and she wants to thank you for it.” I felt the knot in my stomach return, causing me to grimace slightly.

“With Rainbow you’re just not understanding her teaching style. She’s a hooves on kind of mare and isn’t comfortable just explaining something and watching you try. Fluttershy’s talent is animals and it’s the only thing she is really confident about. That’s why she doesn’t act like her normal self when she talks about them.” Two more stomach cramps came with each explanation.

“And then Twilight, she’s the reason all of them have been around you so much. She got us all together to try and make you feel at home being a pony. She follows you around because she wants to make sure things go as planned. And the notes are just that silly, notes! On making you happier!” And finally what felt like a kick to the gut. By this point I had to lay down so as not to show my pain.

Once my stomach had settled I looked up to see Pinkie giving me the first genuine smile I had ever seen when looking at me. “You see now? They aren’t trying to get with you, they just want you to smile!”

“I… well… bu…” I was currently going through my memory trying to find evidence against her claims but everything I found either fit with what she had said or could very easily have been an accident. Fuck, she’s right! I completely misread the situation. My stomach accented that point with another twist. Damn it, what is wrong with me? Is… is this guilt? I quickly shook my head of that thought. No, of course not! I’m the Overlord, I don’t feel remorse. I live to cause pain, and exist to spread evil! I’m the embodiment of darkness itself!

I glanced at Pinkie who still stood there smiling. Her tail seemed to be twitching less than before though I wasn’t sure. I’m just sick or something. Maybe this pony body is affecting me. Ya, that’s it. I got up and started stretching my wings. “Either you’re very good at making stuff up or you're right, and since I’m pretty sure a made-up story by you would include cupcakes somewhere you must be speaking the truth.”

“Oh, cupcakes sound good right now. Darn it Don, now I’m hungry!”

I couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “What can I say, I am evil.” I began to take off but Pinkie grabbed my tail. I stopped so she could spit it out and speak.

“You should talk to them all later once Winter Wrap Up is done. Until then I’ll hide you here and you can help me cut the ice.”

“Why would I want to talk with everyone? And you know I suck at ice skating.”

“Just trust me on this one. My Pinkie Sense doesn’t lie.” I had already experienced everything the Pinkie Sense was capable of first hand when Twilight tried to figure it out scientifically. Even I believe it to a degree after everything that happened.

“Alright, but that doesn’t change the fact I can’t skate.”

Pinkie put a hoof behind her head as she looked around sheepishly. “I might have sabotaged your skates so that they were extra wobbly.”

I gave her a deadpan stare as I dropped back down. “I hate you.”

Pinkie still spoke cheerfully despite my comment. “Same goes to you Don!” She bounced off toward the lake as I followed her. Turns out ice skating wasn’t so hard. If anything being a quadruped made it easier.

I spent that day and the next helping Pinkie cut the ice, during which whatever had burrowed its way into my body continued to make my life miserable. Twilight eventually figured out her place in Winter Wrap Up was to boss everyone else around. I didn’t complain though since things went a lot faster with her in charge.

Once everything was done Pinkie dragged me over to Sugarcube Corner where all of her friends were enjoying lunch in the spring sunshine. Twilight spoke as my stomach pains started back up in earnest.

“Oh Don, I’m sorry if we made you uncomfortable.” Ugh, this pony body must be rejecting me or something. “You just seemed so distraught when you became a pony.” Oh jeez, I think I’m going to puke. “None of us had any intention of-” Fuck, here it comes.

Instead of stomach bile I puked up words. “No, I’m sorry. I completely took your kindness the wrong way. All you were trying to do was make me feel better after getting stuck like this and I took it as you trying to make a move. If I had really thought about it I would have realized how stupid I was being.” Why the fuck did I just say that?

Despite how rapid and strained I had sounded, Twilight had a warm smile on her face. "It's alright Don." I felt the tension in my stomach release a bit. The others were all quick to accept my apology as well.

"Quite alright Don. We were acting a bit overbearing."

"Plus I'm too busy trying to get into the Wonderbolts to get into anything serious."

"I suppose it will just take time for my animals to like you as Angel does."

With the apologies out of the way, the pain I had dealt with for the past two days was finally gone and I let out a sigh of relief. Twilight waved Pinkie and I to join everyone at the table

“If you don’t mind me asking though, why are you so keen on turning back into a human?”

“This body just doesn’t feel right. It’s like pushing a square peg in a round hole. Sure, with enough force you can get it in but it still isn’t meant to be there.”

“Well if that’s the case we’ll back off, though that doesn’t mean you get to sit around sulking again.” That's all it took to get you off my back?This brought a smile to my face until Rainbow spoke up.

“If we’re in heat though all bets are off.” My glare was enough of a response for her. “What? You try thinking straight when you’re constantly horny.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous this was. Thankfully everyone else seemed to find it funny as well.

* * *

I was lying down on a table in the medical room of the fortress. A glowing crystal floated above me scanning my body with a white light while Gnarl simply watched from the side. After what felt like hours of just sitting still the light went out and the crystal landed in Gnarl’s claws.

“So what does it say?” Gnarl looked into the crystal for a few moments before grinning.

“If anything Master you are the picture of health, even for a pony. I can’t find anything to link these 'cramps' to a medical issue.”

I sighed. I had hoped the issue had been a worm or something that was eating a hole in my stomach. At least that can be fixed. “Well let’s hope once I’m back to normal this goes away with it.”

“Ah yes. Just a few more weeks. You said you already discussed your ‘reasons’ for leaving with Celestia?”

I hopped up off the table and motioned for Gnarl to follow me down the hall. “I told her in a letter that despite how many friends I have made in Ponyville, I have been feeling a need to explore ever since I got here. Zecora offered to take me on a trip she is taking soon and I couldn't pass up the opportunity.”

“Perfect excuse sire. It even allows for you to bring your Gatekeeper so you have access to everything.”

“That was the idea. I already discussed it with her so that her story and mine line up. We’ll be leaving around the middle of spring after the dragon migration.”

“I am confused why you are staying for it.”

“I told Spike I would take him to speak with the dragons. Plus if I can find a way to get them on my side, that’s one less race fighting against me.”

“Excellent Master. I did not even think to try making allies with the races that fought your predecessor. That will leave Celestia with less strength should she try to amass an army.” We entered the throne room and I took my seat while Gnarl took his spot.

“Now, to continue with the lesson.” My groans were ignored as he began.

Author's Notes:

Won't be long now until the Overlording begins in earnest!