I looked around, the world bare white. "Uh...hello?" I walked around, slowly letting a chill wash over me. The pure white world, icy and barren, had nothing but cold to offer. "Anypony?" I looked back at the glowing silver doorway, impossibly thin but a wide enough to dive back through. "Anyone?"

"I don't think you belong here--"

"Holy shit!" I jumped to the side, my head nearly falling from my hands as I stumbled in the snow. "Who!?"

An elk with a multicolored mane stood before me. "...You really don't belong here, now do you?"

I brought my hand to cover my face. "Uh- ... Celestia?" I brushed some snow off my chin. "...Why are you a deer?"

The elk looked me up and down. "How do you--"

"Long story." I stood up and brushed my head off. "I mean...I guess it's not that long, it's just a bit unbelievable."

The elk cocked an eyebrow. "You did just drop into my garden, from that-" she pointed a hoof towards the portal home. "-how unbelievable can it be when I'm looking at it?"

"Hmm, good point.... Fine, I'm not smart enough to properly explain it." I put my hand in my pocket. "I leave the crazy science world tearing stuff to my mare."

The elk looked down at the portal. "Hmm, you mean doe?"

I felt a sour look grow over my face. "Sure...deer crap and such...." I looked around the blank white world. "Well, I don't think I'm going to find what I'm looking for here. Was nice meeting you." I waved at the celestial maned deer.

The deerlestia's tail waggled about. "You tore open the fabric of the universe, came in and talked to me, and now you're just going to leave? I don't think that's really fair to Ellek...."

I shrugged. "I'm trying to save my wife- uh...girl- mare- ...person I love--" I tried to slap myself, only slipping through the air over my stump. "... Persons."

Deerlestia chuckled into a thin hoof. "Sounds lovely, but I'd like it if you stayed for some sort of talk."

I smiled at her. "Honestly, it is lovely. Bit of a struggle to break the uh...visceral aspects of her. Sex, communication, and literally starved." I felt something slip into my stomach like a lead weight. "Actually...I really need to go find her. Uh, does Pon- actually I guess it would be Deersville, right?"

Deerlestia smiled at me. "Are you sure you haven't been here before? We've had one other portal--"

"Look, in a hurry, mare to save. But you should look in the woods to the north of Deersville. Go at night, there's gonna be a headless mar- doe, and a head to match, she's lovely, bit surly at times but still lovely. Go save her--"

"Why don't you?" Deerlestia flared out a set of wings. "I could take you, I'm not doing anything else and Twilight is sorting my paperwork for the month."

I stared at Celesdeer, digging my teeth deep into my lip. "I really need to go find a pony world.... I just--"

"You'd be doing me a favor." Deerlestia flapped her wings. "Royal duties can be rather boring, and its been fifty years since a dimensional traveler dropped by."

I frowned hard. "...I need to go.... Stop making this difficult."

Deerlestia rolled her eyes. "I've had my share of adventuring, met myself a few times. Thousands of years ruling and you learn how much fun you could have had."

I felt my right eye start to water. "...God damn it...." I slumped my neck forward. "I can't.... Wife to save." I stepped back towards the portal, the snow starting to seap into my legs. "I'll come back deer lady! I promise, I will ride you like King Arthur!"

"Who?"

I let out a long sigh as I stepped back into the hotel room. "That wasn't the right one."

Dust looked up at me, Cosmic left sleeping on one of my shirts atop the hotel bed. "No? A shame." Dust's horn lit up, flashing the portal closed. "Next--"

I held my head up, holding it where it should sit. "Hey, is there any way to like, go back to these universes?"

Dust smiled at me. "Jason, are you having fun in those worlds?"

I sighed loudly. "I met a deer version of Equestria.... You dropped me in Canterlot and Deerlestia offer to take me to save your deer version."

Dust cooed loudly. "Aww, that's so sweet! Did you--"

"No, I told her where to find you- her- person. But I mean, we gotta fix this first. And the faster I move, the more headless ponymare I save!" I held my head like Hamlet held the skull. "We have to do this!"

Dust smiled at me. "Wonderful, oh, but no. Finding the same universe twice would be like finding a needle in a haystack." Her frown faded rather quickly. "Speaking of haystacks, hungry?"

I sighed loudly and pulled my head back to under my arm. "A little. I'll find something on a trip."

Dust smiled. "Well then my hero, go." The portal lit up again. "I'll be waiting."

I rubbed my eyebrow, nearly pushing myself out of my own grip. "This is gonna take a while, isn't it?"

Author's Notes:

Hey...should go read this too.