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Memories

by TheOnly

Chapter 1: Darkness


A reflection in the pond was all she needed. Twilight stared at herself in the clear water of the still pond, its water untouched by anypony for years. This place hadn't been visited in years. The trees loomed over the pond, their branches and leaves sagging. The wind didn't blow, leaving everything perfectly still. Not an animal stirred in any of the bushes nearby. Total silence.

"Twilight, what's going on."

Twilight's reflection stared blankly back at her, trying to find some meaning. She could feel the pond showing her what she didn't want to see the most.

"Twilight, stop that."

Nothing broke the surface of the water. All lied perfectly still as the unicorn's mind found itself recollecting its past.

"Somepony get some help!"

It couldn't be silent here. Not while Twilight was here. Her ears were ringing with the voices she knew so well.

"Twilight, it's us!"

There wasn't any point to being here. Twilight began to think about leaving before it was too late, but there was no turning back. Her reflection held her in place.

"Why are you doing this?"

A small twitch in the corners of her mouth. Memories played like movies in the back of her head. Her reflection's eyes locked on hers, she was hypnotized. Her body felt numb.

"Twilight, we don't want to have to do this!"

Her legs began to tremble, causing her to dig her hooves into the soil in an attempt to still herself. She could feel her fur stick up on her back.

"Twilight can you hear me?!"

Her heart was pumping now, her mind pulsing. Twilight tried to shut her eyes but the reflection wouldn't allow it. She had to watch.

"Stop her!"

Her eyes were locked in position. Her tail quivered and she became aware of the breaths she took. Something she could control.

"If you can hear me than listen!"

Her ears stood erect, not daring to move. Her mouth was locked in an emotionless frown. Her reflection forced her not to fully frown, it wouldn't be allowed.

"You need to stop this, Twilight, you're putting us all in danger!"

A small V formed in her brow, her eyes slowly shutting as her mind raced faster and faster. She squeezed her eyes tight, trying to block out what she saw but it was impossible. Nothing can block out memories.

"Twilight!"

She turned her head away from the pond, praying it would be over soon. She couldn't face the reflection anymore, she was weak. Her eyes were slammed shut, refusing to release the void she saw, at least she wished she saw.

"Twilight!"

She couldn't take it. She was about to explode. It had to stop. She turned her head further from the pond, trying to avoid the reflection as much as possible, but that didn't matter anymore.

"Twilight!"

She turned her head even further, her heart pounding out of her chest. She had stopped breathing. She thought about running but that wouldn't do any good. She couldn't run away from this.

"TWILIGHT!"

Her head turned back to the reflection that gazed back at her, her eyes were still shut. The pond gained a droplet, causing the first ripple it had seen in years.

"We love...."

It was over. Her eyes shot open and she gasped for breath as the final words were spoken. She saw the flash, the screams. The deafening screams. Then it finished, her whole body trembling. Tears flowed readily off her face, splashing into the pond and disturbing the stillness that had held it for so many years.

Flashbacks of the funeral took over her mind now. She couldn't stop the tears, they rolled down her cheeks one by one, hitting the pond below. She changed her gaze for a moment, allowing her eyes to drift to the left. Smarty Pants lay on the ground, and her stare met his.

Pulling up her old companion, she held him close. This was the only support she had back then. The only thing she could hold on to. Her only friend back then, and now.

Laughter, uncontrollable laughter. It screeched in her ears as she held Smarty Pants tighter and tighter. The jeering of young ponies filled her perked ears. She wanted it to go away. She heard the names they called her, the awful names.

She wanted it all to go away, to disappear. The laughing got louder. Twilight squeezed her only friend even tighter. She closed her eyes, wanting the laughter to go away. They were laughing at Smarty Pants.

There wasn't any way she could fit in holding onto her friend. Laughter consumed her. More tears hit the pond as she tried to stop listening, but it wouldn't stop. Her dark room was all she remembered.

All the books, all the practice. All the years she spent. All to make sure that her magic would never do this again. She remembered the purpose of it all. The darkest years of her life. Preparation.

It was decided at the funeral, long ago. Guilt had placed a tag upon the unicorn. There was no turning back after that day. Month after month, never again. Her cutie mark secured it. Years after it happened, the screams rang in her head, pushing her to try and save the ones she had killed long before.

It didn't matter that she'd never get them back. It could never happen again. Now at this pond, Twilight breathed deeply, trying to gain some closure. It won't ever happen again.

Smarty Pants was crushed in between Twilight's hooves and body. She looked out over the pond. Still once again. Picking herself off the ground, she walked away from the serene pool of water, making her way back to Ponyville. The funeral was held here years ago, and every year she revisited it. There was no tombstone, because it was a funeral of one. There was no letting it go, the darkness of her past would never leave her. The only thing to do was to face it.

Uncontrollable power. She had released it. It was her fault. She only had Smarty Pants to get her through hard times, but he only caused more pain, disapproval from the others. She needed to be able to solve everything, or else she'd go crazy. The haunting nightmares came back to her, and she lost control again. She thought about when she forgot to write a letter to Celestia, almost losing it. Had it gone on for any longer, all the preparation would have been for nothing. All the precaution for prevention.

A childhood without parents was haunting enough, Twilight wouldn't allow a life without friends to follow.

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