"...So basically the only reason it happened was because they were similar enough conversations?" I asked. Celestia nodded and sipped at her imaginary tea.

"Yes, that is correct," she replied. It was about a week after I'd had the flashback to the conversation with a mystery mare and now was the first chance Celestia had to tell me about what she found out since. She'd been too busy to come to Ponyville or have me come to Canterlot, so Luna had set up a dream-room thingy. We were sitting in cloud chairs thousands of miles in the air. "It's unlikely you will be able to fully remember your past this way. However, you may be able to piece a few things together."

"Piece what together? How is part of a conversation with Striker supposed to tell me anything?" Celestia's eyes widened.

"What did you just say?!" Uh... What?

"I said, uh, how is part of a conversation with... Wait..." Did I just...?! "Holy shit!"

"This changes everything."

"It does? I mean, don't get me wrong that was really bucking cool, but accidentally remembering a name won't do much."

"If you're unconsciously remembering things this quickly, you may be able to discover the reason you traveled to this universe in the first place, or maybe even the reason or reasons behind the mutation!"

"But if it only happens unconsciously I'm gonna miss a lot of information, right?" Celestia hummed an sipped more tea.

"You may be able to catch the information if you analyse everything that happens to you-"

"He already does," echoed the voice of Luna. "It's incredibly annoying to have to listen to."

"I see..." I shrugged and took a few gulps of cider.

"How much time do have left?"

"Luna?"

"The sun here is accurate to reality." Celestia glanced to the sky.

"Five minutes, why?"

"I wanted to ask you about the nightmares that Der- That Steak told me about."

"There should be enough time for a few."

"Okay. First of all; when did they start?"

"About three months ago, when you turned your daughter into a phoenix." Not that long ago then...

"Do you have any idea of how they're doing it?"

"Normally, the only Pony that can do anything dream related is Luna, so it would take a powerful artifact or a demonic enhancement for them to do something like this."

"Well- Wait, did you just say 'demonic enhancement'?"

"Yes." What?

"Demons are a thing?" Celestia looked a little confused.

"Um... Yes?"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, they're the beings that naturally reside withing Tartarus. You fought one a while ago, remember? Cerberus?"

"Wait, that was actually a demon?"

"You have referred to it as a demon in every dream you've had since you fought it!" Exclaimed Luna's voice.

"I didn't think it was literally a demon!"

"What else could it have been, you moron?! It was a giant dog with three heads! There's nothing like that anywhere else!"

"Have you seen the shit in the Everfree?! The stuff in there is just as crazy!"

"Like what?!"

"Manticores, Timber Wolves, Rockadiles, Hydras, freaky plants and evil goddesses!"

"Oh! Don't thou even bucking go there!"

"Hey, Luna, your pre-banishment is showing!"

"We'd tell you to shove it up your own arse, but we don't need to! You already have! Twice!"

"Hey! The second time wasn't even in the ass!"

"It wouldn't matter! You would still have a filthy dick afterwards because you're full of shit!"

"Ooh!" Cried Celestia, spilling her popcorn. "That burn was as hot as my sun!"

"Shut up!" We shouted at the same time.

"You are a moronic lowlife who's only skill is punching things into submission!"

"You're so weak that you lost to a moron who's only skill is punching things into submission!"

"You are a weak, pathetic excuse for a Unicorn and are so full of yourself that the only mare you have ever courted was yourself!"

"You are a goddess with the power of the moon, eternal life and the power to stop nightmares, but you're such an unlikable bitch that even your sister wanted to get rid of you!" Celestia gasped. There was an intense silence. I sighed. "Sorry, I took that too far."

"...Get out..."

"But I-"

"I SAID GET OUT!"

The cloud I was sitting on vanished and I plunged towards the ground.

Great, now I feel like a dick. I opened my eyes. I should probably think of a way to make it up to her. Yeah, I- Wait, why am I in Twilight's room? I was lying on Twilight's bed with an open book in front of me. It didn't look like anypony else was here. I read the page the book was opened on.

What is this, artsy porn? I climbed off of the bed and- Woah... Why does everything look a little bigger than usual? Everything seemed to tower above me. It was almost as if I was a few inches shorter. Well that's... Weird. Wait, what's this strange feeling below my tail? It's more like... A lack of feeling? Wait! I twisted my neck around to see- Oh shit!

I had become Twilight!

"What the buck?!" I shouted in Twilight's voice. "Where are my genitals?!" I heard a scream from downstairs. I instinctively teleported to the main room of the library (though for some reason it felt much easier than usual) to see who had screamed.

Vesper was on fire and running around, spreading the fire through the library. It didn't look like the fire was burning her, but she was freaking the buck out anyway. I blasted her with a torrent of water from my Twilight's horn and put out the rest of the library as well. I was about to ask her what the buck was going on, but before I could...

"Why the buck do I have balls?!" I heard myself shout from upstairs. I saw myself walk downstairs, looking pissed. "Why are my Dad's genitals between my hind legs?!" Myself asked, sounding angry. Wait, 'my Dad's'? Is that-?

"Vesper?" I asked. "Why are you me?" Vesper/me looked surprised.

"Dad? Why are you Twilight?"

"I have no idea. Who's in your body?" We looked towards her body.

"I'm Twilight!" She cried out.

"I see." I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Twilight?"

"Y-Yes?"

"I'm only going to ask this once; why are my genitals not between the legs I'm currently using?"

Author's Notes:

And now to end the season with something really fucking weird!