A few more weeks had passed and there was still no news on Discord. There hadn't been any trace of him whatsoever, not even a miniscule amount of chaos. Well, at least outside of civil unrest.

Since the Elements had been destroyed, Equestria (and probably the rest of Magi) had fallen into chaos. Crime rates were at an all time high, panic had spread and not a lot of Ponies (or anyone else) felt safe. When Vesper had annihilated Discord the first time, global panic had been reduced (even more so the second time). But his disappearance had completely undone all of that. Things weren't looking too good.

I'd been spending more time with the girls to try and revive the friendships we never really had in the first place. In fact, thinking back on it, the only ones I was legitimately friends with were Twilight, Rainbow and (debatably) Pinkie.

Twilight I had been living with since I had woken up after my fight with Nightmare. We weren't amazingly close, but she helped me with the studies I rarely did anymore and I helped her with rent. Sometimes. Vesper and Watcher kinda stayed with us for free, but it was fine because... Reasons. Realta damn it, me...

Rainbow was a Pony that I had more recently become friends with. When I first met her, she was an annoying, arrogant, lazy, stuck up bitch and I hated her. Now I don't hate her. Weren't there a few more details than that?

Pinkie was Pinkie. For buck's sake... What did you expect?

Fluttershy I knew nothing about other than she liked animals and was shy, so we never really became friends in the first place. In fact, the only time we'd ever shown any sort of friendship towards each other was when I once beat up a Griffon that was being a dick to her.

Applejack valued pride above everything else, which was incredibly annoying. Is that seriously the only reason?!

Rarity I was on a somewhat neutral relationship with. On one hoof, she was a complete whorse, but on the other, she did make me a nice suit for free. I wonder if Sky is thinking a parallel version of this right now...?

Anyway, the girls, Vesper and I were having a picnic a little ways outside Ponyville in a field not unlike the one I had first woken up in. Spike was cleaning the library with Toasty and Watcher was in a coma on the verge of death. Vesper had said something about 'shovel round two'.

Vesper looked my way and sent me a psychic message. Why do I have to do this again? Because I'm your Dad and I said so. She rolled her eyes. You can't just abuse the power like that. I'll stop abusing the power when you stop abusing your bitch. Never gonna happen. Exactly.

"So, Cloud," started Twilight, "how is your magic coming along?"

"Probably incredibly powerful," I replied. "I don't really use it much anymore except for simple stuff."

"Why is that?"

"It's quicker and easier to just use Circles, and using them makes my general magic stronger."

"How do they work anyway?"

"You use willpower and... Stuff. It's hard to explain, but basically they're fueled by focus and willpower so it doesn't take any direct magical energy to use them. That's why anything sentient could theoretically use them." Rainbow's ears perked up.

"Wait!" She exclaimed. "You mean I could learn how to use that boosty one?!"

"The Support Circle? Yeah."

"Can you teach me?!"

"Probably not, I don't know how to explain it. The only reason I can use it was because I accidentally used one in my Nightmare fight, and from there I figured it out." I glanced at my cutie mark. "Also my butt insists I'm great with them." I looked back at Rainbow to see her throw down her sandwich.

"Dammit!" I looked to Vesper.

"Have you got a good explanation for her?"

"Yeah," said Vesper. "But I'm not telling her 'cause I hate her." There was an awkward silence.

"Dammit, Vesper..." I facehoofed.

"What?"

"Could you at least try to be nice?"

"Why should I? She's a complete bitch!"

"Because she isn't a bitch to you! You've talked once, scared her with murder and ignored her!" Vesper started to look angry.

"She is too a bitch to me!"

"When?! When has she ever been a bitch to you?!"

"She was a dick as a guy so she's obviously a bitch here!" I started getting angry myself.

"You're being a bit bucking presumptuous!"

"Oh am I?! Why is that?!"

"This universe isn't directly parallel! She'll act differently here than she did twenty years in the future of there!" Vesper stood up.

"Now who's being presumptuous?!" I stood up.

"It's still you!"

"Oh, I am, am I?!"

"Yes! You are a bitch!" Vesper pushed me.

"Buck you!" I pushed her back.

"Buck you!" She punched me in the face.

"Buck you!" I punched back.

"BUCK YOU!" She set her leg on fire with a spell and hit me with a fiery punch, setting me alight.

"BUCK YOU!" I doused myself and KC punched her, knocking her onto her back.

"BUCK YOU!" She climbed to her hooves and dived at me, knocking me down with her sitting on top of me. She started repeatedly punching me in the face until I put up a Shield Circle. Her hoof hit it and produced a loud cracking sound making her grunt in pain. I kicked her off and threw her at a nearby tree with telekinesis. Vesper put up a Force Barrier to stop herself and then shot a strong looking fireball towards me. I threw a volley of Solid Razors at her and put up another Shield Circle to stop the fireball. Vesper teleported above me to avoid the Razor Circles and Magistamped on my back. I cried out, falling to the ground before summoning a Support Circle and flying up high. I healed my back then looked down to see Vesper coming at me with her own Support Circle, her mane and tail seemingly made of fire. I dismissed my Support Circle, used a Shield Bash on my hind legs to propel myself towards her and smashed her back to the ground with a KC Punch. I teleported down next to her just as she got up.

Vesper transformed her horn into what looked like a sword made of blue fire and started swinging wildly at me. I ducked, dodged and teleported around to avoid it, but she was just as quick to try another swing each time. I saw an opening and fired a magic bolt, but she was fast enough to deflect it with the sword, sending it into the sky until it dissipated. I continued dodging and teleporting around her and firing more when I could, but she managed to deflect each one. This went on for about ten seconds until I teleported a little ways away from her and fire my red electrical beam at her. Vesper immediately stopped the sword spell and fired her own blue beam of flames. The two beams crashed into each other, locked in a fight for power. Slowly but surely my beam started to win, beating her's back until it reached her horn. It exploded on impact, sending her flying backwards and finally knocking her out.

I stood there for a minute or so catching my breath, then relaxed. I healed myself up, went over to Vesper, healed her up and then cast a spell of forced consciousness. She winced, stood up and stretched out.

"Okay, fine," said Vesper, "I'll be nicer to Raindick."

"Good," I replied. "Nice fighting by the way, you're definitely stronger than when we last fought." We started walking back to the others.

"Thanks. I decided to make some of my own spells rather than keep using random fire attacks."

"It's definitely much more effective, especially that fire sword. In fact, you're nearly as strong as I am. I'm gonna have to start practicing again at this rate." Vesper smiled. We reached the others and sat back down.

"Thanks. Again. The general spells I have now are Fire Bolt, a fiery version of a regular magic bolt which is much stronger than a fireball, Fire Punch, where I set my leg on fire, a special kind that won't harm me, to do more damage as well as set my enemy on fire, Flame Mane, where I turn my mane and tail into intense fire to distract my enemies with heat and maybe do a little more damage, and finally Flame Blade, where I create a sword of solid fire around my horn to do massive damage."

"They're pretty fantastic! You've improved with with movements and general fighting too, haven't you?"

"Yep! I'm now even more badass than I was before!" We laughed.

"I should probably get some fighting training done myself. My dodging is good, but I need to attack and parry more effectively."

"D-Did you two just have a massive magic duel over me?" Asked Rainbow.

"Yep," we replied at the same time. Right at that moment, Spike came sprinting up to us, stopping in front of Twilight and gasping for breath.

"Twi... Light..." He wheezed. "I... Have... Lemme just..." He collapsed as he vomited a letter. I wonder if it's painful having paper magically explode from your throat? If he has internal scales then probably not. Why would he have scales on the inside? The whole point is to have more exterior defense. True. In that case, yeah it's probably painful. Twilight levitated the letter in front of her face and began reading.

"Dear Twilight," she read out loud for some reason, "I am sure you are as excited as I am about the upcoming wedding in Canterlot." She looked up with a confused expression. "Wedding?" She looked back to the letter. "I will be presiding over the ceremony, but would very much like you and your friends to help with the preparations for this wonderful occasion. Fluttershy, I would like you and your songbird choir to provide the music since all of the normal musicians have explosive diarrhea."

"Oh my goodness!" Happily whisper-shouted Fluttershy. "What an honour!"

"Pinkie Pie, I can think of so many Ponies, Zebras, Griffons, Dogs and Minotaurs more qualified than you to host the reception, but they were all busy so you'll have to do." Pinkie jumped in cake and squealed. "Applejack, you will make us free food because I said so."

"Well, colour me pleased as punch!" Exclaimed Applejack.

"Rainbow Dash, perform a sonic rainboom as the bride and groom finish the boring part." Rainbow wasn't paying much attention, seemingly in shock from the duel. "Rarity, you will be responsible for designing the dresses for the bride and her bridesmaids because clothes are expensive and I can lock you up if you do not comply."

"Princess Celestia wants me to...?!" Rarity started before falling over and mumbling gibberish.

"Cloud Calculation, I am sending a separate letter explaining in great detail of what your mission will entail." What?

"Overcast Vesper, you will be making sure that nopony is slacking off. Try not to kill anypony."

"Dammit..." Grumbled Vesper.

"And as for you, Twilight, you will be playing the most important role of all; do whatever I say and be my bitch for a while. You'd better all show up soon. Yours, Princess Celestia." Twilight looked up from the letter again, still confused. "But... I don't understand, who's getting married?" Spike had recovered enough to stand.

"Oh, wait," he said, "I was probably supposed to give you this one first." He pulled another letter out of his butt and hoofed... Er... Taloned? And taloned it to Twilight, who quickly unfurled it and began reading.

"Princess Celestia cordially invites you to the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and-" Twilight gasped. "My brother?!" Didn't God-Horse once say something about her brother being terrible at his job? It doesn't help that I can't even remember what the job was... Or is, or whatever.

"Yer brother's gettin' married?" Asked Applejack. "Congratulations, Twilight! Tha's grea' news!" Twilight looked pissed.

"Yeah, great news. That I just got from a wedding invitation! Not from my brother, but from a piece of paper! Thanks a lot, Shining Armour. I mean, really, he couldn't tell me personally?" Twilight levitated a sandwich and put on a deep voice. "Hey, Twilight, just thought you should know I'm making a really big decision that changes everything. Oh, never mind! You'll hear about it when you get the invitation!" She went back to talking normally. "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza? Who in Tartarus is that?!"

"Twilight, you suck at dealing with family issues," pointed out Vesper.

"Says the Pony who just got into giant battle because of her own issues!"

"Exactly! I don't ignore issues, I try to beat the crap outta them!" Twilight sighed.

"Sorry, it's just that Shining Armor and I have always been so close... He's my B.B.B.F.F!" There was a moment of silence. Twilight rolled her eyes. "Big brother best friend forever?"

"Why do expect us to know titles that you made up?" I asked. Twilight ignored me.

"Before I came here and learned the importance of friendship, Shining Armor was the only Pony I ever really accepted as a friend." Birds flew past her and Pinkie started playing some instruments that she happened to be carrying around.

"When I was just a filly," sang Twilight, "I found it rather silly, to see how many other Ponies I could meet. I had my books to read, didn't know that I would ever need, other Ponies to make my life complete. But there was one colt that I cared for, I knew he would be there for me!

"My big brother-"

"Butt sex forever!" Hijacked Vesper. Twilight looked horrified.

"What?! No!"

"It does seem that you went into denial rather quickly," I added.

"Why wouldn't I?!"

"Guilt shows when we get something right."

"Butt sex forever!"

"How is that even slightly right?!"

"He put everything right up there!"

"No! We just shared our hopes, and shared our dreams! I miss him more than I realised... It seems..."

"Your big brother, butt sex forever!" Twilight looked very pissed.

"Like two peas in a pod, you have ruined this together!"

"Oh, come on, you know we say, stuff like this every single day."

"But not about my big brother, best-"

"Butt sex! Ever!"

"And ever!"

"Dammit, you two!" Shouted Twilight. "Let me be emotional!"

"Anyway," I said, ignoring her, "Rarity?"

"Yes?" Rarity replied.

"Can you make Vesper a dress before we leave?"

"What?!" Exclaimed Vesper. "No! I wanna be naked!"

"Uh... If you insist, Cloud..." Rarity murmured.

"Thanks," I thanked. I wonder what Celestia meant about 'my mission'? As long as it has something to do with the wedding, I'll have an excuse to wear my badass suit!

Author's Notes:

I'm back and probably not better than ever!
And so Begins an incredibly awesome (but short) arc that I've been planning for a long time!

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Let's see I did with the The Quest For The Past Chapter Checklist Thing™:

Exposition? Check.
Fight scene? Check.
Make Celestia act dickish in a way I find funny? Check.
Song? Check.
Derail serious moment into sex and/or butt jokes? Double check.
Make Vesper ruin emotional moments? Check.
Call Rainbow a bitch? Check.
Have little to none of the story's actual plot? Check.
Torture Watcher? Kinda?
Repeat old plot over and over? Failed.

Damn, so close!

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What did you think so far?
What do you think Cloud's special mission could be?
What did you think of Vesper's new spells?

Tell me in the comments below!